Hi

How often do you feed your cat in day?

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explodom

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Hello! I'm new here and in a dilemma with three cats.

   I am currently 14, living in a small house with my parents. They forbid me from bringing cats into the house so I have to keep my cat outside. I am very affectionate to cats and I feed every stray cat I come across (except males). I tamed a feral female cat two years ago and now its almost about to give birth to its third litter (as far as I know). Recently, a male cat showed up at my door. Its face looked like a female cat's so I decided to feed it. It is very affectionate but has only one problem. Like all male cats, it also defecates everywhere and my mom forced me to scare it away, so I obeyed. Only none problem - it won't leave. It just keeps yowling at me until I get close to it and then runs away. Now, a third feral cat showed up, young and very hungry. I fed it but it growls and hisses at my first cat, even thought my first cat does not. The young cat is very playful but my first cat is very dear to me. Where I live, there is no animal shelter nor vet.

   First of, I want to know how to get rid of the male and second, how to keep peace between the other two. Even though it hurt my heart to do so, I grabbed the male's tail and threw it and did several other things, nothing can keep him away.
 

StefanZ

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The trick both to your situation as such, and as the solution to your immediate problems, is to spay and neuter everyone you can get your hands on....

Or if you so want, dont feed them unless you do have some plan with it:  either  TNR = spaying,  or adopting.  Or both.   (TNR = trap neuter return)

Observe, his defecating and urinating will be much lesser after spaying.   Defecating and leaving the poo above earth is part of the dominating male thing.  Although he is surely not very territorial nor dominating, even if he is young he isnt.  He wouldnt look as a female if he is full of testosterone.

How to afford, and where find a cheap vet, is next question.   The key is to get to the right plans.     :)

Tx for caring and good luck!      @explodom  
 
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explodom

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Thanks for your help but there is no place where I can get my cats neutered. Any other ideas?
 

caralian

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Thanks for your help but there is no place where I can get my cats neutered. Any other ideas?
There are no vets anywhere in your vicinity? There are no shelters, rescues? Humane society? By vicinity I don't mean within 10 minutes. There has to be someone out there, and you guys must have a mode of transportation to get to places that are a bit farther out? 

You really shouldn't use physical violence against that male cat. I know it's annoying but it's not doing it on purpose to upset you. And in any case it's not going to help. So make your parents understand that, and if they don't, tell them to do it themselves. They cannot force you to abuse animals.

If you don't want to actually take care of the cats, you shouldn't lure them to your house. The female cat will keep getting pregnant until she is spayed. And she will continue bringing her litters to your door, because she trusts you and it's become something of a second home to her. This is your fault. Please don't take my words the wrong way, I absolutely love you for caring, and for feeding them, it shows you have a good heart, but there is more to caring for cats than giving them food.

The other cats, well, you've started feeding them, of course they return. Same story here. The male is showing his dominant side with all the consequences. This behavior can and will change once he's neutered, but you cannot just force nature out of a cat by hitting/hurting it. It doesn't work that way.

If you really don't want to do anything else but feed them, you need to be able to live with these consequences. If you don't want to do that, you should stop feeding them. Eventually they will figure out there is nothing to gain by coming to your house. But I don't see how you could just abandon them now, after all, you have already taken care of them.

It's a difficult situation, but you need to find a way to actually care for them, in stead of just feeding them. And ask your parents to stop being so heartless. 
 
 
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explodom

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Male cat problem solved. Turned out it was my neighbor's long lost cat which he thought was dead.
 
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explodom

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I'm not abandoning all of them! I only wanted to get rid of the male, to which I have found a solution as I have said above.

I wish to keep the other two and I love kittens. Oh and I don't lure cats into my home. I only try to feed them. Most run of, scared.Only three did not - the ones I have kept as pets. Also, there are no vets in my vicinity, but even if there were, my parents would likely not take me. Even if they did, how am I supposed to get them there? My parents won't spend money to buy a cat carrier and the pregnant one is scared to death of anyone other than me, including my family.

My parents are not heartless. They are the kindest people I know. They actually encouraged me take in a pet cat if I wanted, as long as I didn't bring it in the house. There is only one thing my parents won't tolerate - filth. My mom also cared for the male but as soon as it started to defecate everywhere, she said it had to go.

Also, I am completely against neutering any kind of animal. How would you feel if someone removed your private parts? And don't say "its to keep cats from getting euthanized". Why kill cats? Let them roam free. 
 

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I think you need to have a talk with your parents or  other adult family members about the situation. If you do not spay/neuter the cats you are taking care of, they will continue to multiply, because that is what cats do.

It is not cruel to neuter a male cat. Intact male cats have strong hormonal urges to fight other male cats--often to the death. They roam long distances looking for female cats, and they're exposed to cold, hunger, disease, and their fight wounds often become infected and they die slow, painful deaths. These male cats will ALWAYS come to your place to try to mate with your female cats. They will mark territory by spraying urine around your property. Neutering a male cat increases their lifespan, causes them to wander and fight less, and reduces the feral cat population. It also increases their chances of being adopted by someone because they will not be spraying foul smelling urine to mark territory.

Female cats who aren't spayed can go into heat every few months for several weeks at a time. Constant pregnancy and giving birth is very stressful for a feral cats, especially if they don't have a constant food supply. They often miscarry or the fetuses die inside them, leading to deadly infection. A female cat in heat is not a happy cat--there are often several males chasing her, and when males mount females, their penises are barbed and intercourse is painful for the female. If impregnated, the feral female will be very, very hungry, and her kittens will likely not survive without warmth and a constant food source. The kittens that do survive will have difficult lives. Cats become sexually mature as early as 4 months, so the cycle will repeat itself. 

I am trying to educate you about the reality of the situation. Cats are not humans--they do not have the choice of using birth control or deciding not to mate--the hormonal drive is instinctive and something they have no control over. That is why caring and responsible humans need to attempt to help them.

Please do not physically abuse any more cats--male or female. Suppose you had broken that cat's tail, and he had no one to care for him? That poor cat would have been suffering terribly. Your heart is in the right place for caring for the one cat, but I think you need some adult guidance. Unless you live in a third world country, I'm sure there are animal shelters that could give you assistance, but this is something you need to talk to your parents about. 
 

slykat12

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I'm not abandoning all of them! I only wanted to get rid of the male, to which I have found a solution as I have said above.

I wish to keep the other two and I love kittens. Oh and I don't lure cats into my home. I only try to feed them. Most run of, scared.Only three did not - the ones I have kept as pets. Also, there are no vets in my vicinity, but even if there were, my parents would likely not take me. Even if they did, how am I supposed to get them there? My parents won't spend money to buy a cat carrier and the pregnant one is scared to death of anyone other than me, including my family.

My parents are not heartless. They are the kindest people I know. They actually encouraged me take in a pet cat if I wanted, as long as I didn't bring it in the house. There is only one thing my parents won't tolerate - filth. My mom also cared for the male but as soon as it started to defecate everywhere, she said it had to go.

Also, I am completely against neutering any kind of animal. How would you feel if someone removed your private parts? And don't say "its to keep cats from getting euthanized". Why kill cats? Let them roam free. 
I am sorry but you are being ridiculous. Millions upon millions of dogs and cats suffer and have to be murdered EVERY day because of  ignorant people with attitudes like yours. If you truly love animals you get them de-sexed. You do not allow them to repeatedly get knocked up so you can play with a fresh crop of kittens every couple months. Cats cannot just "roam free" they starve, may kill all the birds-and the birds eat insect pests. Too many free cats will destroy our ecosystem. Nature must be in balance.  

In addition, you are wrong to think your city will allow cats to roam. They will collect them and kill them because too many are pests and can cause health problems for other animals and humans !

I may get in trouble for being so to the point but it is national Blasphemy day and I feel a strong need to speak up.  

PS more males will be coming around for that un spayed female are you gonna try and kill/abuse all of them? HORRIBLE

If you let two cats breed at will — and then allow their offspring to breed at will, these two cats will have 80 million progeny within a decade! This assumes two litters per year and 2.8 surviving kittens per litter.

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/ho...ts-to-turn-into-80-million.html#ixzz3Eox8sCJx
 
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kittywhiskers

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Even though it hurt my heart to do so, I grabbed the male's tail and threw it and did several other things, nothing can keep him away.
I'm sorry but this is shocking! I know you are only 14 but if you say you love animals you COULDN'T and WOULDN'T be able to do a thing like this!
I have teenage children and if I asked them to do what you did they would lose every ounce of respect they have for me!
 

pamela derouen

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There are places to get animals spayed & nuetered!!

There are also places that are low cost for this!

You ARE being very irresponsible.
 
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AbbysMom

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Just a few notes I need to make:

From the site rules:

3. This is a pro-spay-and-neuter website. Please make sure to spay and neuter your cats. Unless you are a professional breeder and your cat is part of a professional breeding program, please educate yourself to the importance of spaying and neutering by the time your cat is 4-6 months old. If you take care of a feral colony, please make sure to do so responsibly by practicing TNR (Trap, Neuter, Release) protocols within the colony.
They can be found here and must be agreed to upon joining:

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/239112/forum-rules

Some helpful articles:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/spay-and-neuter-your-cats

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/when-to-spay-neuter-a-cat

Hurting a cat is never acceptable. There are other ways to deal with things. If you have questions, ask.

If this thread does not continue on in a respectful manner, it will be closed.
 
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explodom

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Sorry did not know that. But either way, I can't get my cats neutered even if I wanted to. But I am not aware of any animals being euthanized in my country. Also, in my first post, the cat I threw was never injured. I grabbed its tail LIGHTLY and I did not throw it  with the tail. I grabbed it by its scruff and dropped it a few inches from the gate. I love cats but I love my parents more. If you disobey your parents, you are irresponsible. Also, I don't mind males getting around my female cat, unless they defecate or urinate openly. Also, I know when to stop. I scare the male off but I make sure he is not hurt. He is currently well cared for and well-fed by my neighbor.
 

ondine

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Glad to hear you did not hurt the cat.  We were all a bit upset to think that happened.

I am not sure where you live but in the United States, more than 10,000 dogs and cats are killed every day because there are not enough homes for them all.  If people would spay or neuter their pets, a lot of those deaths could be prevented.

As to your question, spaying and neutering also prevents behaviors like the one the neighbor's cat is exhibiting.  Male cats mark their territories, fight with one another and generally makes pests of themselves.  Female cats scream (being in heat actually hurts) and then have more litters.  Many of those kittens die - either by being euthanized or because they simply don't survive.

It's a hard life for an animal that doesn't have proper care.  Please consider that when you make a decision about spaying your cats.  Your mom and dad might be more inclined to support them if they know there aren't going to be more!
 

caralian

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Sorry did not know that. But either way, I can't get my cats neutered even if I wanted to. But I am not aware of any animals being euthanized in my country. Also, in my first post, the cat I threw was never injured. I grabbed its tail LIGHTLY and I did not throw it  with the tail. I grabbed it by its scruff and dropped it a few inches from the gate. I love cats but I love my parents more. If you disobey your parents, you are irresponsible. Also, I don't mind males getting around my female cat, unless they defecate or urinate openly. Also, I know when to stop. I scare the male off but I make sure he is not hurt. He is currently well cared for and well-fed by my neighbor.
I don't know where you live, but I have yet to find a country where shelters aren't filled to the brim with cats and dogs (unwanted, strays and ferals) of which most are euthanized because there aren't enough people to take them in. And unless you live in the middle of a jungle, I refuse to believe there isn't a vet, a shelter or a rescue ANYWHERE in your vicinity.

Neutering those cats has only positive consequences, for you, for the cats AND for your parents. So maybe, if you tell them this, they will be more inclined to help.

Neutering the female will not only make sure she doesn't have a dozen more litters (and therefore more kittens that either die in utero or starve/freeze to death), she will also stop going into heat, which will make her STOP attracting unneutered males to your house. Please understand that going into heat is NOT pleasant for her. It hurts. Fornication also hurts. Having a buttload of litters is not a walk in the park. You will be doing her a favor.

You cannot change the behavior of the male cats. They are not neutered. Therefore they will continue to look for female cats and they will keep marking their territory (urinating/defecating). If you neuter them, not only will they stop mating (and bringing more unwanted cats into the world), but he will also be less aggressive and will stop being territorial (thus: no more defecating/urinating around the house).

If your parents are really kind people, as you say, then you need to make them understand that this problem WILL. NOT. be solved without their help. Female cats will not magically stop going into heat, male cats will not magically stop trying to fornicate or mark their territory. It's in their nature. Scaring them off only helps for a very short while. 

And yes, those kittens are cute. I get it. Everyone here loves kittens. But they will grow up. And each of them will produce more kittens (unless they die of starvation, cold or during fights - that's what male cats do). And those kittens will grow up and do the same. It's a neverending cycle and it isn't helping anyone. Nobody, including the cats, profits from that situation. Do you understand?

So why don't you show your parents this site, let them read the articles and the posts people make here (also check the Caring for Strays and Ferals forum, there are many people with a lot of experience with this) and convince them that if they keep those cats there, UNNEUTERED, the problem will only grow. No amount if denial or "scaring them away" is going to change their nature.

I am glad the male cat is found by his owners. 
 But I promise you this: if the female stays unneutered, he will definitely not be the last/only male cat you attract.
 
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explodom

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Where I live, more than half the people don't have their basic rights. Do you think we have time for animals? And even if there is a vet nearby, my parents won't take me and my cats won't go. I have already said this before.

Also, my neighbourhood is on average pro-cat. No cats in my neighbourhood have ever been trapped, hurt nor turned over to an animal control centre (I doubt it if there is one). Also, it turned out, the male only came to my house for food. It hated the female. I mostly just let nature take its course. Worked so far. The cats use a large natural litter box (never cleaned once) and both still have a hunting instinct. I have seen the female hunt and bring down crows but it hasn't been hunting since it was pregnant. The young cat stalks anything that moves (birds, squirrels, chickens, my feet) and knows how to kill.

 Also, for Eid, we are hosting a cow and several goats. The cats are dead scared of them but they are going to crowd around during the sacrifice. It is going to draw every single cat in the neighbourhood (except the female - she is currently searching for a place to give birth). Any ideas on how to keep them at bay? 

 How could you think I hurt the male? If I did, I would have killed myself. Also, the fighting between the female and the kitten has significantly decreased. I feed both of them at the same time. They can stand about ten inches from each other without staring at each other. Also, another male cat has been hanging around my female since it was in heat. I'm just curios, do male cats usually stay with the female during pregnancy? And if so, why? I've just never heard of a male acting as a partner to a female in the wild.
 

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I am confused as to what you want from us exactly. You came here for help, but it seems you don't want it. The only thing we've seen in here from you is this:

1. You keep telling us that there are no vets/shelters anywhere in a 150km radius - and even if there were you wouldn't take them.

2. You don't want to actually DO anything, because you want to, and I quote, let nature take its course.

So, what is it you want from us? You get defensive whenever we say something, and try to convince us that the situation is great for those cats out there, but we all know what it's like when you do not neuter cats. So we will never agree on that with you. And you say you want to let nature take its course, yet you already interfere yourself by feeding them (don't take this the wrong way, I would rather they have food than starve!), but by feeding them you are also taking up the responsibility of their care, because they come to trust you (it's why the female came to you to have her litter), but aside from feeding them you are not willing to actually do anything for them.

Please explain what you need from us and maybe we can help. But at this point it feels like we're going in circles and nothing is really getting better for those cats.

Also, I am afraid to ask... Sacrifice..? 
 
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explodom

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Never heard of the Muslim festival Eid-ul-Azha? Also, I am willing to take responsibility for the cats. They don't just get food. They get company, shelter and affection too. Also, I only feed them if they haven't caught prey for several days and until they get back on their feet. I never said I wouldn't take them. I said I CAN'T take them. There is a difference. And originally, I asked only 2 questions, one of which has been solved. So, how can you get two cats to stop fighting without neutering either one? And I know my female trusts me. It has been living with me for around two years now.
 

caralian

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You can't. Male cats will keep fighting other male cats. It's in their nature. It's about being the alpha, about territory. They will remain aggressive because of their testosterone, which is produced in the testicles. The only way to "undo" the behavior is by neutering them. 

Well, unless you want to trap them and keep them locked up in cages, but I don't think you want to do that..

Scaring them away doesn't help. Like in all cats, (physical) punishment does not work. They don't realize it's a result of their behavior. They'll just get scared of you and you will destroy ANY chance of getting them to trust you, making you unable to trap them or get them help, if the need ever arises.
 
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explodom

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Females don't have testosterone and neither do kittens. Also, you haven't answered my other recent question. How to keep a cat army at bay.
 

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People have answered your questions to their best of their knowledge. I think you don't want to accept the answers, so you keep asking them over again.

You cannot keep male cats at bay when you have a female cat on your property who goes into heat several times a year. It's simply impossible--and no amount of chasing them away, pulling their tails, or picking them up and throwing them is going to change their very strong instinctual drive to mate with the female. Male cats fight to the death to mate with a female, so nothing you can do is going to change this. It is also impossible to keep an army of cats at bay when you are feeding these cats--food will attract more and more cats to your property.

If you consider this female cat to be your cat, then get her spayed. If you're 14, you can earn money by babysitting, mowing lawns, having a paper route, or some other way. Use the money to pay someone to drive you to a veterinarian and have her spayed. Ask your parents if you can take the cat into your house if you agree to pay for her food and litter box needs. If you cannot bring her inside, then set up regular feeding times for her so you are not leaving food outside for the other cats to eat. Since she will no longer go into heat, the male cats will stop coming around.  Problem solved. There really is no other answer. It's getting increasingly hard to believe that you're sincere in wanting answers from people on this forum when you won't even consider the ones that are given.
 
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