hepatic lipidosis & hospice scheduled tomorrow - is it time to stop force feeding or is there hope still??

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My boy IS still going strong after given 'days' to live with a leukemia diagnosis. We even dug his grave. Assuming his brother and mama also have it I have given all three DMG and Lifegold. I never tested them because it wouldn't matter. I would never separate them. There ARE still miracles out there!
Thanks di and bob di and bob ...for this info, and the reminder that there still are miracles out there.
I'll be continuing to pray, and sending Health vibes for J Jenny22 's Lulu.💞 ❤❤❤

It's kind of a miracle, already, since Jenny managed to bring Lulu out of hepatic lipidosis, already. :touched:
Plus the fact that our cats are fighters, don't give up, and seem to have nine lives...then I also figure that Lulu being a senior cat...may have used up half of those...but has a few extra ones left, as well.
(Jenny wrote that above in her post #158, and so I'll agree with that, too.) :bluepaw:
 
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I'm so crushed by this added news about your Lulu. :frown:
It makes me so angry, and sad, and thinking it's just not fair. :disappointed:

For Lulu to have beaten Fatty Liver, with the intensive care that you gave her for over four weeks, with two of the weeks being really bad, made me hope that you were going to have another year or two, with your girl cat.

I know Lulu is 14 years old, but I still figured that you'd have another year or two left...if Lulu managed to get over the Fatty Liver.

(and the scientific studies and scientific surveys, or whatever they were called, where they mentioned the actual percentages of cats that actually do recover from Fatty Liver was quite low, according to those scientific papers, when they talked about syringe assisted feeding versus e-tube feeding. You and your Lulu smashed those odds, and percentages, and showed me, that I should never just look at percentages and numbers, since individual cases are all that matters.

The things you did for your Lulu, in getting her here, getting her another extra two months, since looking back, she may have been euthanized in early january, but she made it this far. She told you she was not ready, and did those 180 degree turns, whenever you decided that it was time. Lulu showed you that she was not ready to go, just yet. And also your own words, and thoughts, showed that you were always conflicted in these decisions, as opposed to the other animals that you had, where the answers were more clear cut.

Your cat Lulu, taught me that I will not just ever look at percentages and numbers, as I did in the past, when making tough decisions.
I'm rather going to try and look at the whole situation, and get some extra opinions, and research, too,...so as not to rely on just average cases.

Your Lulu and you, cannot be placed in the average category, since Lulu and you beat the Fatty Liver.

I hate (insert swear word) cancer.
It seems to never show up on regular blood tests, and seems to be found when tumours are already large, and showing.

You did plenty right, J Jenny22 . :alright: :hugs:
I hope you don't feel guilty about any decisions made, or any of the things that were done. :hugs::grouphug::hugs:

I do understand it, though,...since I do the exact same thing to myself...in that 'double guessing'...'looking back, and thinking about what I would do differently'...getting sad about the 'why didn't I notice things sooner, or why didn't I take them into the regular vet sooner'...type of thinking.

Yeah, we do learn so many lessons...and that's a good thing,...if we can accept the lesson, 'that we still did okay, at the time,...for what we had known...at the time'.
Also, not to be too hard on ourselves...either...since our animals are getting older, and health issues are bound to come up.:bluepaw:

(I don't know any older person, or older animal,...that didn't develop some issues.
Sometimes it's just been a 'luck of the draw' kind of thing that 'one health issue' was caught in time, while looking for another one.

I guess doctors and vets...always do the 'rule-out'...of the big, obvious things first...and then like you had mentioned earlier in your post...unless we actually advocate for ourselves, and do some extra research...then it seems like things get missed.)

You seem so much more Positive than me,...in thinking...and in Accepting,...because the line of "...maybe she hasn't used up all her lives yet."...is so, so true. :agree:
This line just made me smile and laugh a bit...because you are so right.! :)

Lulu has NOT used up all her nine lives.
She IS still here, and it's not like she is dying tomorrow.
So you still get to enjoy being with her, and she enjoys being with you...for a while longer. :touched:

(one of the other members, here, di and bob di and bob ...had mentioned that one of their cats was diagnosed with leukemia, years ago, and had not even been given a long time to live, yet he outlived all the predictions that the vets had made.
I did read that she gave her cat some DMG immune supplement Life gold for cats with cancer, but have not done any research into these products.
Is Lifegold A Legitimate Supplement?

So who knows...what will happen...with this potential tumour.

I'll still be hoping for your Lulu to be feeling okay...and that she will let you know when it's time.
She has until this point, in time,...so I figure Lulu will let you know,...in the future, too.:caticon:

***Can you still be giving Lulu...prednisolone...in case it could help shrink any tumours, or inflammation?
I know you said, that her jaw felt fragile,...so not really sure about this?

(Would love to see another photo of your girl Lulu, too. But only if you have the time.
Heck, even if it's just a kitten photo, or older photo,...just anything really, to offset all the bad news going around.)
Take care, Jenny, and hoping that you and Lulu, and your dog...do have a good week. :greenpaw: :hugs::grouphug: :catrub:

I'm always so impressed by how much those of you who have replied to this thread remember. You remember all the little details. ❤ I suffer from brain fog but even when I scroll back to try and remember details, it's all so hazy. It means so much to me that you have been this invested in my story. It's made me feel very supported during this difficult time - so thank you for that.

I thought I would have a year or two left with Lulu, too. 😔 Regarding the statistics, Lulu's last primary vet told me the reason most cats do not make it through fatty liver when being syringe fed is because their owners just cannot get enough calories in them. It's true....it was really difficult to get the calories in. But not just because it's incredibly time consuming, but also because it's so utterly stressful on both the owner and the cat. To be honest, I never exactly hit the prime number of calories she needed, either. She should have been getting 250 in. I was only able to syringe about 200. When she started eating on her own, that is when she was getting at least 250 and also when she showed the biggest jump in recovery. I'm also so grateful Lulu took so well the the baby food - there is no way I would have been able to do it with any of the canned stuff. But I will also say that in the Facebook groups where I reached out for guidance, multiple pet owners syringe fed their fatty liver cats back to health, too. It can be done - but it would require 24/7 intensive care at home. I'm super fortunate that I have a job that allows me to work from home right now.

Thank you so much for all of your super kind words, too. ❤ Lulu and I did much better at fighting this thing will the help of this forum and all of you. It began to feel a little bit like a diary or a journal and kept me somewhat sane.

I have heard of Life Gold. I had the Kidney Gold stuff here but rarely used it. But I've seen multiple people rave about those products. I just purchased some Liposomal Vitamin C and Essaic Tea - not that I am looking for a cure or anything.

I am still giving Lulu prednisolone - I think it can only help as she is still eating foods that would probably normally lead to inflammation. I have had a really difficult time transitioning back to rabbit or pork - she may have actually developed an intolerance to both, now. Prednisolone is known to shrink intestinal lymphoma tumors. But I'm not sure it would do much for SCC. Her jaw is fragile in the sense that she does not want me to touch the left side and the chin seems to quiver a bit and has for a very long time along with her excessive swallowing/lip smacking. But if I were to feel the lump on her jaw, it's very hard. It feels like bone, honestly.

As an update - this weekend I tried the clindamycin to rule out infection since I could not afford the exorbitant fees at the dental specialist for the biopsy and other diagnostics. It clearly made her feel VERY sick. I gave her 2 doses on Friday and she just looked ill, hiding under blankets and in corners, cubbies, etc. Very unusual behavior. On Saturday, I gave one dose and didn't have the heart to give her a second. On Sunday for a split second, I thought the lump was smaller - so I gave another dose in the morning and then again didn't have the heart to give another that night. By the time Monday rolled around, I started to think the lump felt bigger! I honestly cannot tell. But no more clindamycin - no more experimenting to rule out an infection. I called her mobile vet who gave a way more affordable price and snuck her in for a biopsy today to just get confirmation and move forward with no more treatments. It was a sh*t show, though. I don't understand why - but she only sedated my cat and not even the full sedation which she didn't tell me until afterwards. Lulu was heavily sedated but clearly looked conscious. After 30 minutes, she was moving her head and her paws. I kept asking the vet are you sure she won't feel any pain? And asking if we could give her something to numb the area. She told me it would be quick and Lulu wouldn't feel anything. I'm sick to my stomach as I had to hold my cat's mouth open and Lulu felt everything and though she couldn't moved, she definitely cried. And the vet couldn't get the biopsy on the first try. Is this normal?? Lulu is still loopy now, but she's not really not keen on being near me. I hope she can trust me before it's time to put her down. Today was honestly traumatic.

As for photos of Lulu, I will upload some soon for you. ❤
 

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I'm always so impressed by how much those of you who have replied to this thread remember. You remember all the little details. ❤ I suffer from brain fog but even when I scroll back to try and remember details, it's all so hazy. It means so much to me that you have been this invested in my story. It's made me feel very supported during this difficult time - so thank you for that.
You're welcome...Also thank you for writing up this thread.
I think it will help a lot of people, who may be going through similar circumstances.

(My memory is a bit strange, in that sometimes I do remember certain things, but not so much in huge details, rather in the overall picture. Since I'm more of a visual learner, then I think my memory only remembers, if it's something I can relate to, or have a mental picture of. OR else maybe it also remembers things, that I've newly learned, too, and it's just fresh in my mind, at the time.)

You did also recently write a lot out, in Dexy's thread, End of life care: Liver disease and fluid in the lungs?
Post #17...was super informative, and helpful, as were the other posts that followed, too.
A lot of that detailed info, concerning the 'syringe feeding' and which size syringes, the gerber baby food, and how many times you had to feed your Lulu around the clock, sticks out, as well.

(I definitely do get a little, or a lot, emotionally attached to some of the cats, on the threads I've been on, but I think that's more to do with the details that the 'thread writer' writes about. If they've provided a lot of detail, then it's way easier to get a 'mental picture' of what's going on, and also...I do learn a ton from the threads, too.)

Ahh, brain fog. Not sure, but it might also be, because you've been through so much with your animals, and taking care of sick animals is so emotionally, and physically draining/tiring. I don't think we actually realize how tired we are, because we go into a kind of highly focused and goal orientated mode...in the sense that we just "do the things we have to"...and only later does the fatigue, both emotional and physical, catch up to us.

Then somehow we get to a 'balanced point' ..where things seem to get more routine, and a tad slightly easier.
That must have to do with practice, finding some sort of routine, or rhythm, that helps to get things done, and getting more efficient in doing them.


You're still in the midst of Lulu's health journey,...so I'd think that it would be totally understandable and expected...to have 'hazy memories'...since what really matters now for Lulu and you...is actually the present day.
You actually don't have time, right now, to look back, and evaluate the past details as much,...since your focus must remain in the present and how to best help Lulu ...on a day to day basis.

"It means so much to me that you have been this invested in my story. It's made me feel very supported during this difficult time - so thank you for that."
I've personally learned so much.
So the 'thank you' is actually a mutual thing. :touched::hugs::salam:
I thought I would have a year or two left with Lulu, too. 😔 Regarding the statistics, Lulu's last primary vet told me the reason most cats do not make it through fatty liver when being syringe fed is because their owners just cannot get enough calories in them. It's true....it was really difficult to get the calories in. But not just because it's incredibly time consuming, but also because it's so utterly stressful on both the owner and the cat. To be honest, I never exactly hit the prime number of calories she needed, either. She should have been getting 250 in. I was only able to syringe about 200. When she started eating on her own, that is when she was getting at least 250 and also when she showed the biggest jump in recovery. I'm also so grateful Lulu took so well the the baby food - there is no way I would have been able to do it with any of the canned stuff. But I will also say that in the Facebook groups where I reached out for guidance, multiple pet owners syringe fed their fatty liver cats back to health, too. It can be done - but it would require 24/7 intensive care at home. I'm super fortunate that I have a job that allows me to work from home right now.
This is good to know about the calorie intakes, and that the 'gerber baby food' helped a lot.

(I only had to syringe feed my previous rainbow cats for up to a week, since their food intake was declining, and that was so stressful.
So I can only imagine how difficult it was to do this 24/7)

Still you managed to do it.
and so your Lulu was helped...into returning to eating on her own. :touched:

It's good to know that other owners have brought their cats out of fatty liver, too, with the intensive care feedings, 24/7, given at home.
I think a big part of it also, was because you are very knowledgeable, about the different meds, and had given Lulu the pred. and stopped giving her certain meds that you found were not helping her at all.

Like you said, you know your cat, the best,
and knew what was working, plus, I really think that mobile vet, who encouraged you by saying she saw a 'very sick cat, a yellow cat'...but one that can recover from fatty liver...also helped a lot.

Whatever made you decide to get that mobile vet's opinion, and help, seemed to turn the tide...along with the 24/7 feedings, and of course...your very determined Lulu cat.
:blush:
Thank you so much for all of your super kind words, too.❤ Lulu and I did much better at fighting this thing will the help of this forum and all of you. It began to feel a little bit like a diary or a journal and kept me somewhat sane.

I have heard of Life Gold. I had the Kidney Gold stuff here but rarely used it. But I've seen multiple people rave about those products. I just purchased some Liposomal Vitamin C and Essaic Tea - not that I am looking for a cure or anything.
:) :hugs:
I've never heard of those products, Liposomal Vitamin C or Essaic Tea, but hey, nothing wrong with hoping for a reduction in the size of Lulu's mouth tumor.
I am still giving Lulu prednisolone - I think it can only help as she is still eating foods that would probably normally lead to inflammation. I have had a really difficult time transitioning back to rabbit or pork - she may have actually developed an intolerance to both, now. Prednisolone is known to shrink intestinal lymphoma tumors. But I'm not sure it would do much for SCC. Her jaw is fragile in the sense that she does not want me to touch the left side and the chin seems to quiver a bit and has for a very long time along with her excessive swallowing/lip smacking. But if I were to feel the lump on her jaw, it's very hard. It feels like bone, honestly.
I don't know if Prednisolone will help with SCC,...but I'm still going to hope...it will. :bluepaw:
And yeah, definitely it could help with increasing Lulu's appetite, and reducing inflammation within her body.

I do find it 'eye opening' that so many cats that have had ibd, or intolerance and allergies to certain proteins or ingredients in foods, go on to develop SCC. Having read many threads, here, where pet guardians have fed so many different types of foods, dry, wet, raw, home-cooked,...I don't know if it's a component of genetics, too, that play a huge part. For sure, it's food related, too, since something is causing the inflammation to begin with, which causes thickening of the intestines, but I often wonder what types of ingredients cause such flare ups, and what types of supplements or meds could soothe the intestines.

(With my sister...She was prescribed Fiber in the form of metamucil and also peg 3350, miralax...for human ibs symptoms...but this had more to do with 'transit times' and motility issues...so it's not really similar at all...in comparison to our own cats digestive transit times...and much shorter length of digestive tract.)

It just makes me wonder why such increased inflammation occurs in certain cats with ibd...if transit times are faster, yet their intestines get inflamed over and over again.
As they age, and get older, the cat must lose it's ability to protect the intestinal lining from getting ulcers, and tumours, too.
(I definitely have to look more of this up, but mainly because I don't really know much about how the digestion in cats work, and why ibd flares can lead to tumours.)

I wonder if Lulu's intolerance to both pork and rabbit, also has to do with her feeling ill,...when she was eating it...so there is also some 'food aversion' happening, too.?
As an update - this weekend I tried the clindamycin to rule out infection since I could not afford the exorbitant fees at the dental specialist for the biopsy and other diagnostics. It clearly made her feel VERY sick. I gave her 2 doses on Friday and she just looked ill, hiding under blankets and in corners, cubbies, etc. Very unusual behavior. On Saturday, I gave one dose and didn't have the heart to give her a second. On Sunday for a split second, I thought the lump was smaller - so I gave another dose in the morning and then again didn't have the heart to give another that night. By the time Monday rolled around, I started to think the lump felt bigger! I honestly cannot tell. But no more clindamycin - no more experimenting to rule out an infection.
Yeah, doing anything that would clearly cause Lulu to feel sicker,...and more uncomfortable, more ill,...would cause me to stop as well.

(Some of those antibiotics that I've also tried with my dog, caused him to be so ill and vomit, diarrhea, not eat, and we're talking about a big lab/mix...that tends to eat like a vacuum cleaner. Strangely it was cephalaxin that caused that, and clindamycin was okay for the dog. Just goes to show how each individual animal and species is different.)
I called her mobile vet who gave a way more affordable price and snuck her in for a biopsy today to just get confirmation and move forward with no more treatments. It was a sh*t show, though. I don't understand why - but she only sedated my cat and not even the full sedation which she didn't tell me until afterwards. Lulu was heavily sedated but clearly looked conscious. After 30 minutes, she was moving her head and her paws. I kept asking the vet are you sure she won't feel any pain? And asking if we could give her something to numb the area. She told me it would be quick and Lulu wouldn't feel anything. I'm sick to my stomach as I had to hold my cat's mouth open and Lulu felt everything and though she couldn't moved, she definitely cried. And the vet couldn't get the biopsy on the first try. Is this normal?? Lulu is still loopy now, but she's not really not keen on being near me. I hope she can trust me before it's time to put her down. Today was honestly traumatic.
I'm not sure if it's normal or not, to do a biopsy this way.
Perhaps the mobile vet was probably trying NOT to give too much sedation, or anesthetic to Lulu since she still is recovering from her Liver problems.
Also, if a FNA (fine needle aspiration) was done,...then they are usually done very quick.

I don't think there is anything they can give to our cats, (like they do us humans, to numb the topical layer). I read that cats are extremely sensitive to benzocaines, lidocaines, and can have many adverse reactions.

Being loopy is normal, after heavy sedation, for sure.
And Lulu will trust you again, it's just that it's too soon after the biopsy procedure...so she probably does not want anyone around her, that happened to be around her, at the time.

If it's hard on you to hold her, when the vet is doing a procedure,...especially because how emotionally tied we are to our own cats,...then could you just tell the Vet this, and ask that a vet tech assist?. That way you don't have to be too upset, or feeling sick, seeing your Lulu like that. It's way harder on some people, when we see,...and hear our own cats cry,...as opposed to other cats, where we don't have that strong bond with.
As for photos of Lulu, I will upload some soon for you. ❤
:geekcat::lovecat2:❤ Thanks. There's no rush, though.
I'm more interested in updates, when you get the results.

And yes, it does feel like a diary...or journal of Lulu's journey through her illness. :read:
Which I think is really good, because often times different ideas come up,...and different perspectives,....and a whole bunch of good information is contained within the Thread.

Take care Lulu and Jen. :vibes::vibes::caticon:
cat nap...diana and her fur gang.:bluepaw::bluepaw:
 
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Jenny22

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I do find it 'eye opening' that so many cats that have had ibd, or intolerance and allergies to certain proteins or ingredients in foods, go on to develop SCC. Having read many threads, here, where pet guardians have fed so many different types of foods, dry, wet, raw, home-cooked,...I don't know if it's a component of genetics, too, that play a huge part. For sure, it's food related, too, since something is causing the inflammation to begin with, which causes thickening of the intestines, but I often wonder what types of ingredients cause such flare ups, and what types of supplements or meds could soothe the intestines.

(With my sister...She was prescribed Fiber in the form of metamucil and also peg 3350, miralax...for human ibs symptoms...but this had more to do with 'transit times' and motility issues...so it's not really similar at all...in comparison to our own cats digestive transit times...and much shorter length of digestive tract.)

It just makes me wonder why such increased inflammation occurs in certain cats with ibd...if transit times are faster, yet their intestines get inflamed over and over again.
As they age, and get older, the cat must lose it's ability to protect the intestinal lining from getting ulcers, and tumours, too.
(I definitely have to look more of this up, but mainly because I don't really know much about how the digestion in cats work, and why ibd flares can lead to tumours.)

I wonder if Lulu's intolerance to both pork and rabbit, also has to do with her feeling ill,...when she was eating it...so there is also some 'food aversion' happening, too.?
Yeah, doing anything that would clearly cause Lulu to feel sicker,...and more uncomfortable, more ill,...would cause me to stop as well.

(Some of those antibiotics that I've also tried with my dog, caused him to be so ill and vomit, diarrhea, not eat, and we're talking about a big lab/mix...that tends to eat like a vacuum cleaner. Strangely it was cephalaxin that caused that, and clindamycin was okay for the dog. Just goes to show how each individual animal and species is different.)
I'm not sure if it's normal or not, to do a biopsy this way.
Perhaps the mobile vet was probably trying NOT to give too much sedation, or anesthetic to Lulu since she still is recovering from her Liver problems.
Also, if a FNA (fine needle aspiration) was done,...then they are usually done very quick.

I don't think there is anything they can give to our cats, (like they do us humans, to numb the topical layer). I read that cats are extremely sensitive to benzocaines, lidocaines, and can have many adverse reactions.

Being loopy is normal, after heavy sedation, for sure.
And Lulu will trust you again, it's just that it's too soon after the biopsy procedure...so she probably does not want anyone around her, that happened to be around her, at the time.

If it's hard on you to hold her, when the vet is doing a procedure,...especially because how emotionally tied we are to our own cats,...then could you just tell the Vet this, and ask that a vet tech assist?. That way you don't have to be too upset, or feeling sick, seeing your Lulu like that. It's way harder on some people, when we see,...and hear our own cats cry,...as opposed to other cats, where we don't have that strong bond with.
:geekcat::lovecat2:❤ Thanks. There's no rush, though.
I'm more interested in updates, when you get the results.

And yes, it does feel like a diary...or journal of Lulu's journey through her illness. :read:
Which I think is really good, because often times different ideas come up,...and different perspectives,....and a whole bunch of good information is contained within the Thread.

Take care Lulu and Jen. :vibes::vibes::caticon:
cat nap...diana and her fur gang.:bluepaw::bluepaw:

That's interesting - is that true that many IBD cats develop SCC? I don't know for sure if Lulu is now intolerant to pork and rabbit. They were the only proteins she could have pre- fatty liver. But ever since that episode, it's been difficult to transition her off of the CN rx to see what actually works now. She's had constant diarrhea for 4 weeks so anything I try to give her only makes it worse as I don't have the time to slowly transition since this growth is rapidly spreading.

Yes, the mobile vet did not give a lot of sedation because of her liver - but had I known I may have declined. The whole point of bringing my cat to get the biopsy was to minimize needless treatments that were making her feel sicker. I want to focus on her quality of life so by not giving her enough sedative so much that she could feel everything and was clearly traumatized was the exact opposite of what I was trying to do - at that point, I would have just stuck to the clindamycin and called it a day. :(. I had to hold my cat because the vet recently moved into a new building and her only vet technician called out. In fact, she had a lady coming in for an interview as a receptionist who had to practically gear up and help the vet with another pet for acupuncture (I guess that means she got the job?) 😂

Speaking of which, I may have some good news. I'm going to put it in the next reply.
 
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Ok - so I thought this was good news but then a couple other people rained on my parade by saying it wasn't enough. Lulu's biopsy came back as negative for SCC! But positive for gingival hyperplasia. The mobile vet says that is good news. The primary and the dental specialist were not in the office today so I could not ask.

Basically the feedback I got from others is that SCC can still be missed by a biopsy. So I still don't know what I am dealing with here with that level of uncertainty. :(

But none the less, here are the results. I may create a new thread on this.

1.2.826.0.1.3680043.2.950.398004.20220309081028.4im4gsun724d71x7ztv2kq2a4.1.jpg.medium.jpg
Screen Shot 2022-03-14 at 9.58.11 PM.png
 

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Ok - so I thought this was good news but then a couple other people rained on my parade by saying it wasn't enough. Lulu's biopsy came back as negative for SCC! But positive for gingival hyperplasia. The mobile vet says that is good news. The primary and the dental specialist were not in the office today so I could not ask.

Basically the feedback I got from others is that SCC can still be missed by a biopsy.
So I still don't know what I am dealing with here with that level of uncertainty. :(

But none the less, here are the results. I may create a new thread on this.

View attachment 413686View attachment 413687
Definitely create a new thread! :thumbsup:
I think these results are better than the alternative of SCC...but honestly have no idea how 'gingival hyperplasia' is treated. :dunno:
What I'm hoping, is that it's treated with the prednisolone that you already have...for Lulu.

I just did a quick google search, and I really don't know how 'gingival hyperplasia' is so different than 'FORLs' or 'tooth resorption'. 🤔
Gingival Hyperplasia: Enlarged Gums in Dogs & Cats
Gingival Hyperplasia | VCA Animal Hospitals
Both issues seem to have 'gum tissue taking over the teeth' and 'covering the teeth'...but perhaps the gingival hyperplasia...just means a prolific growth of gingival cells. Not sure at all.

It also seems like there are more online articles concerning dogs than cats.
Not as helpful, but at least it's not something new to Vets.

"Basically the feedback I got from others is that SCC can still be missed by a biopsy. So I still don't know what I am dealing with here with that level of uncertainty. :( "
Well, okay,.. but that would be like saying that, " 'any type of diagnostic' can still miss finding SCC...or that depending upon where the biopsy is taken from, the findings might miss it."

Idk...at some point, you do have to go with the 'findings' that you do have in front of you.
Since it's all that you actually do have, right now.
I would still go with what the mobile Vet said.
(I know that I sound biased in favour of her, but so far, she's come through.)

Sending Loads of Health vibes to Lulu and you. :vibes::vibes::caticon:
Hoping that Lulu is still holding strong and eating a lot.
(would adding pure pumpkin, or some type of fiber to her food help her with the diarrhea?)
 
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Hi J Jenny22 ...been thinking of Lulu, and you for a while?
I know it's been almost a month, since times gone by...but it seems longer.
It might be hard for you to give an update, but I would appreciate it, ...good or bad.
Anyhow, just thinking about you all, and Sending the Best Vibes possible. ❤💕💞 :gingercat: :lovecat2::caticon::redcat::gingercat2:
 

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Definitely create a new thread! :thumbsup:
I think these results are better than the alternative of SCC...but honestly have no idea how 'gingival hyperplasia' is treated. :dunno:
What I'm hoping, is that it's treated with the prednisolone that you already have...for Lulu.

I just did a quick google search, and I really don't know how 'gingival hyperplasia' is so different than 'FORLs' or 'tooth resorption'. 🤔
Gingival Hyperplasia: Enlarged Gums in Dogs & Cats
Gingival Hyperplasia | VCA Animal Hospitals
Both issues seem to have 'gum tissue taking over the teeth' and 'covering the teeth'...but perhaps the gingival hyperplasia...just means a prolific growth of gingival cells. Not sure at all.

It also seems like there are more online articles concerning dogs than cats.
Not as helpful, but at least it's not something new to Vets.

"Basically the feedback I got from others is that SCC can still be missed by a biopsy. So I still don't know what I am dealing with here with that level of uncertainty. :( "
Well, okay,.. but that would be like saying that, " 'any type of diagnostic' can still miss finding SCC...or that depending upon where the biopsy is taken from, the findings might miss it."

Idk...at some point, you do have to go with the 'findings' that you do have in front of you.
Since it's all that you actually do have, right now.
I would still go with what the mobile Vet said.
(I know that I sound biased in favour of her, but so far, she's come through.)

Sending Loads of Health vibes to Lulu and you. :vibes::vibes::caticon:
Hoping that Lulu is still holding strong and eating a lot.
(would adding pure pumpkin, or some type of fiber to her food help her with the diarrhea?)
Gingival hyperplasia is simply doctor speek for an overgrowth of gum tissue, usually caused by a condition. It's more of a symptom rather than a disease.

tooth resorpsion is a condition that actually destroys the tooth. The roots actually get dissolved into the jaw exposing the sensitive nerves. My old cat had this and had a rotten tooth pulled, I actually still have the tooth, it reminds me of my baby girl. The base of the tooth is missing one of the two roots and you can see how the disease exposed the nerve inside it.
 
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Jenny22

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Hi J Jenny22 ...been thinking of Lulu, and you for a while?
I know it's been almost a month, since times gone by...but it seems longer.
It might be hard for you to give an update, but I would appreciate it, ...good or bad.
Anyhow, just thinking about you all, and Sending the Best Vibes possible. ❤💕💞 :gingercat: :lovecat2::caticon::redcat::gingercat2:
Hi cat nap ❤

Thank you for thinking of us... Unfortunately, Lulu is rapidly declining. I tried to give her the antibiotics again as I cannot shake this feeling that it was a bone infection and not bone cancer. I could have sworn that the growth was growing even faster on antibiotics and after 5 days, I took her off as I just didn't have the heart to add one more thing of discomfort to the list. I knew it wasn't SCC. I just knew it. I took her to another vet (actually the one that put off her dental issues) because he offered to take a look at her. He agreed it was not SCC as the way the growth has progressed, it does not represent like SCC. Her jaw bone is growing out of control but it is staying local to that side of the mandible. And she has this "lumpy jaw" look from the left side but no ulcers or bleeding associated with SCC. In about 6-8 weeks, it grew from the size of a pea to all encompassing of her left mandible. I finally accepted it is either bone cancer or if it is a bone infection, it must be from some sort of resistant bacteria that did not respond to the clindamycin.

Here is a scientific article that really resonated with me and added to my instincts that this was not cancer...

I am gutted... I had agreed weeks ago to move forward with palliative care but not because I think she was dying but more so because she has been through so much and I can't put her through a more affordable bone biopsy this late in the game (yes, I found one I could have afforded but it was too late now and the vet said it would be painful), and even harsher antibiotics or any sort of surgery to remove part of her jaw. Enough is enough. She's been through so much and I'm broke and tired and heartbroken. And honestly, I think her immune system is so compromised that I even wonder now if lymphoma is present from her IBD or if the pain meds have already accelerated her kidney disease. If I saved her from this one thing by some miracle, it really would be something else. She just has too much going on.

This week, her appetite has significantly declined...that could be due to pain despite being on two different pain meds. Her primary tells me when she stops eating then it is likely time. She is a shell of herself but still worlds better than she was during fatty liver. It's remarkable how that has become my benchmark because honestly if it weren't for the fatty liver I would thinks she was doing so badly. But she was just so much worse before. She never fully recovered, however. I think she had one week of bliss and began playing again. The following week came the dental pain and then the growth. She took some interest in the birds outside and it's mice season so she started hunting even last night by the oven. In 8 years I never had a mouse in this house until last year. She caught them. I hear them again this season even though the landlord blocked off where he thought they were coming from. Strange how you find yourself so utterly grateful for the most unsuspecting things...like a darn mouse hiding in the walls is bringing me comfort because it has sparked some life back into my Lulu.

As of the last day or two, her eating & drinking has slowed but she still uses the litterbox. She still cuddles and lays on me, wants to be brushed and pet, sometimes jumps up for me to cradle her in my arms, and she perks up when she thinks she hears/smells a mouse.

Anyway, I was just thinking today that if she does not bounce back from the recent rut of not eating within the next few days, then it's probably time to let her go. It's been very difficult to gauge, but as long as she fights me or makes me chase her around the house to even put her in a carrier, then I know it's not time. I will not let her last moments with me be that of sheer terror and distrust - is that the wrong way to think about it? ugh...I don't know.

I did not forget about sending some photos of her. :) I'll go through my favorites and attach them. I've just been so busy and overwhelmed.

In the meantime, this photo is from today - you can see the growth on the left side of her mouth. 💔
IMG_7108.jpg
 

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She sounds like she is still enjoying life to me. Terminal animals have good days and bad ones just like people.

Her eyes look very alert and interested in the camera.

It really doesn't look like she's suffering from that photo.

If she likes brushing you could give her a good brush with a gentle bristle brush like the kind used for babies. Maybe wipe her down with a damp cloth if she gets dirty or scruffy looking.
 
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Gingival hyperplasia is simply doctor speek for an overgrowth of gum tissue, usually caused by a condition. It's more of a symptom rather than a disease.

tooth resorpsion is a condition that actually destroys the tooth. The roots actually get dissolved into the jaw exposing the sensitive nerves. My old cat had this and had a rotten tooth pulled, I actually still have the tooth, it reminds me of my baby girl. The base of the tooth is missing one of the two roots and you can see how the disease exposed the nerve inside it.
yes, someone cleared up that confusion with the SCC biopsy report to me. Not sure why the integrative vet definitely ruled out cancer with it other than she wanted me to continue treatment for my cat.

Lulu has lost teeth to FTR. In fact, the growth began directly over where she was missing teeth...I still cannot shake that the growth was a dental infection/bone infection for where her roots were exposed. It's too late now, anyway. I tried for months to address her teeth. Her last vet wasted 3 good months by telling me to come back for a follow up to check her kidneys first. I listened to him because I was tired of vet hopping after being gaslighted over and over again with her medical issues. When we showed up for the follow up, he said there was nothing that could be done (which was not true as he was excited when I finally mentioned a dental specialist). I think he was just stalling as he didn't personally want to address her teeth. I wish I knew about dental specialists before. Anyway, letting her dental issues go suddenly turned into fatty liver...and then "oral cancer" or whatever this growth is. Not advocating harder for her to assess her dental issues was the biggest mistake I've made wit her. All water under the bridge now, I suppose. I am sorry your baby went through that. I had no idea she had FTR until it was pointed out in August/September. I tried so hard to help her...I really did...
 
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She sounds like she is still enjoying life to me. Terminal animals have good days and bad ones just like people.

Her eyes look very alert and interested in the camera.

It really doesn't look like she's suffering from that photo.

If she likes brushing you could give her a good brush with a gentle bristle brush like the kind used for babies. Maybe wipe her down with a damp cloth if she gets dirty or scruffy looking.

It is good days and bad days or more like good moments and bad moments throughout the day. Would you say a bad day is when she looks bad the entire day? Honest question as I really struggle to know the difference. It's sunny out today and instead of sitting by the window, she's been hiding in my bedroom. Her eyes do look alert there and anytime she gets up and walks around she is alert. But I would say more often than not, she'll be in the bedroom resting on a heating blanket, with her eyes more squinted, ears flattened, whiskers pulled back, and head hanging a little lower than usual. Or she'll be just simply resting looking very relaxed but still wanting to be away from everything. It fluctuates throughout the day. She'll look terrible, and then get up like nothing is wrong at all. And that go back to looking terrible and then get up a few minutes later looking totally fine for the next few hours. I do wipe her down with a damp cloth and groom her. I feel like she appreciates it.

When I really question her QOL is when I feel like I hear her groaning when she's laying down. I wish I could find answers online about that. Anytime I try to look up if cats groan when in pain, all I come across is caterwauling. She makes weird noises right now that I can't understand like this clicking noise from her mouth late at night when she looks like she's in discomfort. I think it might be self soothing from pain. Not sure. She just let out a little groan with her eyes open and is now comfortable rolled up like a ball next to me. ❤❤❤
IMG_7109.jpg
 

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My baby girl actually passed away at home by God's hand. Peacefully in my arms. I was going to take her to emerge to be euthanized but she was so peaceful at home I'm glad I didn't.

She had so many conditions through her life, she was a runt and only ever got to be 7 lbs. She had a firey personality though.

It's completely up to you though what you choose for your cat.
 

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Hi cat nap ❤

Thank you for thinking of us... Unfortunately, Lulu is rapidly declining. I tried to give her the antibiotics again as I cannot shake this feeling that it was a bone infection and not bone cancer. I could have sworn that the growth was growing even faster on antibiotics and after 5 days, I took her off as I just didn't have the heart to add one more thing of discomfort to the list. I knew it wasn't SCC. I just knew it. I took her to another vet (actually the one that put off her dental issues) because he offered to take a look at her. He agreed it was not SCC as the way the growth has progressed, it does not represent like SCC. Her jaw bone is growing out of control but it is staying local to that side of the mandible. And she has this "lumpy jaw" look from the left side but no ulcers or bleeding associated with SCC. In about 6-8 weeks, it grew from the size of a pea to all encompassing of her left mandible. I finally accepted it is either bone cancer or if it is a bone infection, it must be from some sort of resistant bacteria that did not respond to the clindamycin.

Here is a scientific article that really resonated with me and added to my instincts that this was not cancer...
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1040638714533117
Hi J Jenny22 ...thanks for such a quick response, and such a detailed update, too. :hugs: :grouphug: ❤
I actually thought that the 'gingival hyperplasia' that Lulu has, would have rapidly grown within two weeks, and caused her massive difficulty in eating...(just by reading some articles, online.)

(These articles concern dogs,...but it is interesting that you noticed an accelerated growth, when you tried the 'clindamycin'.
Within these articles, it actually mentions 'cyclosporine inducing gingival growth'.)
(I know that the two meds are not the same,...but it's still interesting that you noticed...the clindamycin not helping.)
How to Treat Gingival Hyperplasia
What to do When Gums Overgrow Their Boundaries

(The scientific articles you posted above, are very interesting, too. I've never heard of 'norcardia bacterium'...and am a bit glad that the articles say it is rare. Although it showed up in two different cats, so how rare can it be. It seems like these days, so many things can come from the soil, water, or airborne. Somewhere online, it said that it can also be picked up in hospital settings...god I hope not.)

Your Lulu is such a fighter. :caticon: :lovecat2:
She honestly surprises me, so much.
She probably does not surprise you, since you know her well, but to me, "wow,...I cannot even think of good enough words to describe her."
If you never told me that she is 14 years old...I would just say that she acts like a 7 year old cat.
I am gutted... I had agreed weeks ago to move forward with palliative care but not because I think she was dying but more so because she has been through so much and I can't put her through a more affordable bone biopsy this late in the game (yes, I found one I could have afforded but it was too late now and the vet said it would be painful), and even harsher antibiotics or any sort of surgery to remove part of her jaw. Enough is enough. She's been through so much and I'm broke and tired and heartbroken. And honestly, I think her immune system is so compromised that I even wonder now if lymphoma is present from her IBD or if the pain meds have already accelerated her kidney disease. If I saved her from this one thing by some miracle, it really would be something else. She just has too much going on.

This week, her appetite has significantly declined...that could be due to pain despite being on two different pain meds. Her primary tells me when she stops eating then it is likely time. She is a shell of herself but still worlds better than she was during fatty liver. It's remarkable how that has become my benchmark because honestly if it weren't for the fatty liver I would thinks she was doing so badly. But she was just so much worse before. She never fully recovered, however. I think she had one week of bliss and began playing again. The following week came the dental pain and then the growth. She took some interest in the birds outside and it's mice season so she started hunting even last night by the oven. In 8 years I never had a mouse in this house until last year. She caught them. I hear them again this season even though the landlord blocked off where he thought they were coming from. Strange how you find yourself so utterly grateful for the most unsuspecting things...like a darn mouse hiding in the walls is bringing me comfort because it has sparked some life back into my Lulu.
:touched:You're right,..it is strange how we find ourselves grateful...for the most unusual, and unsuspecting things.
I'm glad that your Lulu is still finding some of that 'instinctual spark'...in hearing that dam mouse.
I guess Lulu figures, that no matter how tired or badly she feels,..she still has to stay on patrol for that darn mouse.
A true huntress. :bluepaw:
As of the last day or two, her eating & drinking has slowed but she still uses the litterbox. She still cuddles and lays on me, wants to be brushed and pet, sometimes jumps up for me to cradle her in my arms, and she perks up when she thinks she hears/smells a mouse.
:touched:Ahh, heck, I'm beginning to like that mouse, now, too.
Glad that she still does those things with you. :)

(I said I was not going to cry, but it's hard not to.)
I hate all these :censored: diseases.

It's like...we all know that our animals have shorter lives...than we humans do. :greenpaw:
Yet it does not matter if they are 2 yrs old, or 12, 14, 16 yrs, or more...it just still seems so difficult to 'let them go'.
Even thinking about it, is difficult for me, ahead of time,...yet we also know that we cannot allow them to suffer, either.

And yes, seeing how our cats eat, and 'not being able to eat'...is one of the big signs,...with everything else that is going on,...that it is time. :frown:
Anyway, I was just thinking today that if she does not bounce back from the recent rut of not eating within the next few days, then it's probably time to let her go. It's been very difficult to gauge, but as long as she fights me or makes me chase her around the house to even put her in a carrier, then I know it's not time. I will not let her last moments with me be that of sheer terror and distrust - is that the wrong way to think about it? ugh...I don't know.
No, the way you're thinking about it...is exactly what I would do, too. :hugs: :grouphug:

From what you describe, I think you'll see more indications, of when it's time.
And your way of thinking is not wrong at all.
I did not forget about sending some photos of her. :) I'll go through my favorites and attach them. I've just been so busy and overwhelmed.

In the meantime, this photo is from today - you can see the growth on the left side of her mouth. 💔
IMG_7108.jpg
Thanks Jen, for posting this photo. ❤
Your Lulu is so Beautiful. :touched:
Yup, I can see that "determined to catch that darn mouse" look in her eye...and the "I'm still on cat patrol" look, too.

I totally agree with IndyJones, about your Lulu's beautiful eyes.
 

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It is good days and bad days or more like good moments and bad moments throughout the day. Would you say a bad day is when she looks bad the entire day? Honest question as I really struggle to know the difference. It's sunny out today and instead of sitting by the window, she's been hiding in my bedroom. Her eyes do look alert there and anytime she gets up and walks around she is alert. But I would say more often than not, she'll be in the bedroom resting on a heating blanket, with her eyes more squinted, ears flattened, whiskers pulled back, and head hanging a little lower than usual. Or she'll be just simply resting looking very relaxed but still wanting to be away from everything. It fluctuates throughout the day. She'll look terrible, and then get up like nothing is wrong at all. And that go back to looking terrible and then get up a few minutes later looking totally fine for the next few hours. I do wipe her down with a damp cloth and groom her. I feel like she appreciates it.

When I really question her QOL is when I feel like I hear her groaning when she's laying down. I wish I could find answers online about that. Anytime I try to look up if cats groan when in pain, all I come across is caterwauling. She makes weird noises right now that I can't understand like this clicking noise from her mouth late at night when she looks like she's in discomfort. I think it might be self soothing from pain. Not sure. She just let out a little groan with her eyes open and is now comfortable rolled up like a ball next to me. ❤❤❤
View attachment 416769
Some cats just groan and make funny noises when they get old. It could be she's always groaned but the growth amplifies it enough you can hear it now.

It's very hard to explain but when her time comes you will just know without second guessing. As long as you second guess it, it most likely is too soon. Just enjoy what time you have together.
 

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Try to observe her, which is sounds as if you are doing, when she is unaware that you are. Especially watch her eyes. Any devoted pet will try to respond to the owner if the think that a response is expected; if she seems very shut down and in her own world when she thinks she is alone it might be a clue as to how she feels.

Is either front paw bent under in a way that it has not been before? If this has been a characteristic all her life, don't even think twice about it though. My vet told me about pain and a bent under paw (pain is not in the paw or foot, but it is a response to pain).

As other said, this all might be anecdotal though and she may be resting relatively comfortably. I would watch a serious refusal of food though as that will only make things worse the longer it goes on.

https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/defau...ionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf
The Feline Quality of Life Scale Helps You Determine If It's Time to Say Goodbye to Your Cat - Catster

There are numerous quality of life scales online. I have found that not all fit all situations, and a dog-related one may include questions that do not apply to cats.
 
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Try to observe her, which is sounds as if you are doing, when she is unaware that you are. Especially watch her eyes. Any devoted pet will try to respond to the owner if the think that a response is expected; if she seems very shut down and in her own world when she thinks she is alone it might be a clue as to how she feels.

Is either front paw bent under in a way that it has not been before? If this has been a characteristic all her life, don't even think twice about it though. My vet told me about pain and a bent under paw (pain is not in the paw or foot, but it is a response to pain).

As other said, this all might be anecdotal though and she may be resting relatively comfortably. I would watch a serious refusal of food though as that will only make things worse the longer it goes on.

https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/defau...ionAnimals/HonoringtheBond/HowDoIKnowWhen.pdf
The Feline Quality of Life Scale Helps You Determine If It's Time to Say Goodbye to Your Cat - Catster

There are numerous quality of life scales online. I have found that not all fit all situations, and a dog-related one may include questions that do not apply to cats.
Sorry Fiona, I missed this post. I think it was received at a time where there was a complete change in QOL for Lulu. I'm going to add in the thread separately. Thank you for your support.
 
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Ugh...so it's taken me all of over a week to muster the strength to post this... But I wanted to tie loose ends as a means of a closing a chapter. I want to thank all of you amazingly supportive people. This thread has been beyond therapeutic and helpful for me. I wrote in it like a journal and that may not be everyone's cup of tea. But maybe someone else down the line will find some of this thread useful. Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to Lulu on Monday of last week. 😔

About 3 weeks ago, I woke up and noticed Lulu was having trouble eating and drinking. This was new behavior. I could see how hungry she was and that she just couldn't do either. Oh, I just broke down to see that... I probably wrote about this above but I don't want to check and rehash as it would just drudge up more feelings right now. So forgive me if I am repeating myself here. Anyway, I took that as a sign that it was time even though I didn't feel ready (I mean of course no one is ever ready). But I believe later that night she hunted and caught a mouse with such fervor & virility! I could post the video here but I don't know if it's allowed. The mouse seemed unharmed and I did let it go. But it might be unsettling still for some people to watch. Anyway, she started eating again. It's like she figured out how to adapt to the obstacles the tumor was causing. I did notice a pattern with the growth of the tumor; it went pretty much like this... pain/discomfort/some groaning one day --> tumor visibly bigger but within a day Lulu seems content and has adapted --- wash, rinse repeat. So it felt like the tumor was honestly growing every other day. On the off days, she would bounce back up and readjust. But it was growing fast, visibly bigger week after week.

Seeing this much fight in her and that she began eating and drinking again, I cancelled the appointment for euthanasia. I could not bare taking away her fight to live, yet. For the next 3 weeks, I swear it was the happiest healthiest weeks I had seen in her in months. She played. She snuggled in my arms every night. She was so glued to my hip. She was eating and drinking, though some days not as much. I really didn't observe the groaning anymore, either. AND she never lost weight. This was supposedly cancer, and she was gaining weight week after week all the way up to the end... As for her amazing strength & energy, it's almost as if this little tiny mouse sparked some sort of quality of life in her final weeks. .....bittersweet....

Because I struggled so much to put her down in that state while seeing the growth on her jaw continue to expand and affect her ease in eating and drinking, I made a hospice appointment to evaluate her. Hospice came in and also could not believe Lulu's strength and energy. She told me that if my cat was listless she would have advised days left. But seeing the condition she was in, she told me to take it week by week. That night, Lulu caught another mouse!! This time she brought it to me again as I was sleeping in bed...right by my head, mind you... with it hanging out of her mouth (all wiggling and what not). I could not believe that this cat with a giant bone tumor in her jaw who struggled to eat could catch a mouse in her mouth and then gift it to me! Twice in 1 month and she had never ever done this before in 14 years. Unreal... Again, the mouse seemed unharmed and scurried away. But Lulu was OMG...soooooo fast and strong. I could't keep up. I'm not 100% sure the mouse made it once I tried to save it. I probably should have let Lulu finish the hunt as per the mercy of both animals. But I was afraid she would choke or wind up with severe pain from a bite in her mouth.

The next morning...the unexpected happened. Despite Lulu's hunt the night before and that she was still eating, I finally "knew". I knew what I didn't know every day before. I knew it was time. I just felt it. People tell you you'll know, but I really never thought I would with her. Later that day, I noticed her struggling to eat again which only confirmed what I already felt. She seemed to have trouble swallowing and would gag even on baby food. I later learned that this was actually due to pain (I think it was mechanical from the tumor at first). I scheduled at-home euthanasia for Monday. This was a Thursday. I put her on the waiting list all weekend. I asked Lap of Love during hospice how I could create a peaceful transition for such a strong, energetic and yet skittish cat. They instructed me to bump up her gabapentin 2 hours before and then significantly pump up her buprenorphine an hour before the vet visit. I was so so so afraid her last moments would be sheet terror and us pulling her out of cubbies while she clung onto life and lost trust in me.

She rallied again all weekend! She even ate 300 calories of hard temptation treats Sunday night and more that morning! But I still felt it was time. If I let this go on another week, I think she would have really been suffering. I no longer felt I was taking her fight away. I felt I was saving her. I needed this feeling for my own mental health. She slept in my arms all night and I remember as she laid in my arms facing me, she stared into my eyes. It was kind of odd. Normally, there is some sort of action for me to pet her. This was atypical...you know, just staring at me. But I think we were both staring - maybe she knew... She had a good morning. She ate, watched the birds outside, reached up to hug me in the morning. I laid down on the couch. My ex brought my dog (he was staying with my parents so Lulu could feel safer while vulnerable and not worry about the animals fighting for my attention). I put the heated blanket that she loved on my lap. She ate and used the litterbox and then she jumped right into my lap - Like she was ready. She already had the gab but it didn't knock her out at all! I started giving her the bup syringes. She didn't fight me on a single one. She was sooooo relaxed, facing the opposite direction - probably to keep an eye on my ex and the dog. She heard the vet come from the back door but didn't move as she was pretty sedated. I allowed the vet to quietly put the last sedative in her from the back. Lulu never saw it or knew it was coming. Once she fell asleep, I rotated her so I could whisper in ear while the vet administered the final injection. She was gone in seconds. I do wish I was the last thing she saw and that I could have looked in her eyes while she drifted, but I felt it was more important to make this transition super peaceful and unaware even if it meant that I didn't get that one detail. She could still feel me as I stroked her.

Maybe you don't want the play by play. But it was important. It was sooooo important that she went this peacefully. And it was soooo wonderful that she went no longer yellow! I feel so horrible that she went from fatty liver right into oral cancer. It just seems so unfair to her. But I am so grateful that I could spend her last weeks and months the way I did and not with that dreaded awful fatty liver and how sick it made her. Getting her to survive that was still worth it for what little time I had left. And throughout these last 6+ months, our connection became so utterly indestructible. Our communication improved and with that I felt her trust me more and her love deepen for me. She was so glued to my hip right up to the end. She was drooling a lot when she drank and she would come to me to groom her...her mouth, her body. And gifting me with the mouse. I felt more connected to her in this last year than the previous 13 years I had her. THAT was the silver lining to this horrible trauma.


Now, it's time to focus on my dog and make up for last time. 😔💔
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost sweet Dexter as well. The necropsy ended up showing it was in fact liver lymphoma. Putting him to sleep was so peaceful but for sure the hardest thing to do. But like you said the silver lining is the trust that developed over the last couple months of trying to save them and doing everything you can. That bond was stronger than ever.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. Your description of the last weeks of Lulu's life are a tribute to how much you both loved and cared for each other. You understood each other so well that you were able to gauge her condition so as to allow her as much time as possible without letting her slip into pain. Animals seems to understand passing more than humans and know when they cannot continue further. Lulu knew that you were helping her just as you had done for her entire life.
 
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