Help with sweet but aggressive cat

cdonadio86

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This is a very long post, but please help, I am at wit's end.

I've had Pb (Princess baby) for over 10 years. I rescued her from the restaurant I was working at who got her to help with the rat problem as a kitten- she wasn't being taken care of properly and I chose to take the cat and leave the job. She has always been very loving. sweet and good with people. Family and friends would routinely, and my partner and I could leave her with a cat sitter without incident. Until Covid. Covid changed everything. First, she got unfettered, constant attention from me and my husband while we were in lockdown (we live in NYC). Second, we notices she was eating and going to the bathroom a lot. After taking her to the vet (a cat specialist), she was diagnosed with diabetes and hyperthyroidism. We transitioned her to a wet food diet and began giving her medication twice daily. In retrospect, she did start to exhibit some anxious behavior. Overcleaning and biting her tail. When we went to go visit family and left her with a friend's 23 yr old daughter, we did not think twice. On the second day, she attacked. It was so bad, the girl went to the hospital to get her wounds checked out. Ultimately, she was fine, with no stitches or long-term physical damage- though she was emotionally upset. She blamed herself, she was having a heated conversation with her boyfriend and she is very much admittedly a 'dog person. So we moved on. We informed our vet who just told us to watch her more closely and not leave her with a sitter again. Fine. We can do that. Fast forward 6 months (Spring 2021), my sister comes to visit. This is the first time since Covid that we have had visitors, but because of the vaccine, we felt safe. We were not safe. The cat attacked my sister that first night right in front of me. Went after her once, and then after I pushed her off, followed my sister after she ran to the bathroom and attacked again. She had deep scratches and bruises from the incident. Still, we thought we could handle it. Keep her in my bedroom at night (at the time we lived in a small railroad apt), and watch her with my sister during the day. I did not want this to ruin my weekend with my sister, it had been so long since I had spent time with her. The next night, things escalated quickly.

1. We came home from a bbq- admittedly a little tipsy- and started to prepare for bed.
2. The cat was still being sequestered in the bedroom but spaced when my husband went out to use the bathroom.
3. My sister was laying down on an air mattress, and the cat immediately attacked her head and face.
4. My husband- trying to pull her off my sister, sustained injuries to his legs, arms, and face. Bites and scratches.
5. When I walked out I grabbed her, sustaining serious, deep scratches to my left arm. But I was able to shut her in the back bedroom. I now describe this scene like it was out of a horror movie. There was blood everywhere. We were all very injured.
6. Unsurprisingly, we were absolutely traumatized and did not feel safe sleeping in our apt (she was crying very loudly) and went to a friends where we immediately contacted our vet. He is lovely and was very kind. We agreed to take her into the office first thing in the morning.
7. The following morning, going back to the apt, I was able to sit with her for a little, but once my husband tried to put her into the carrier, she began attacking again. (note, we have never had an issue putting her into the carrier before, she is usually very easy)
8. We were able to shut her in the room again and I decided we were not capable of dealing with this. We were a wreck, both physically and emotionally at this point.
9. We called animal control to help get her into her carrier- which was then placed in a larger crate (borrowed from neighbor who had a dog- we cleaned it thoroughly to get rid of smell)
10. We took her to the Animal ER where we were absolutely convinced they were going to tell us she had some sort of medical issue/ brain trauma that caused this behavior.
11. She returned to normal- and after a few days, lots of tests and money spent, the vets at the hospital and our own personal vet encouraged us to take her home.
12. At the hospital, she was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and prescribed medication.
13. We took her home and she was immediately back to her sweet and loving self.
14. We all went to urgent care and got prescribed heavy-duty antibiotics- my cuts in particular got pretty infected. My husband's face had a large bite. My sister was covered in bruises and scratches, specifically to her face and the crown of her head.
15. EVERYONE (non-vets) told us to put her down. EVERYONE. This was her second strike. But we just couldn't do it. We asked the doctor to prescribe her Prozac and hoped for the best.

At this point, her medication routine includes medicine for hyperthyroidism (taken twice daily mouth), insulin (injected twice daily- with daily blood sugar tests), medication for high blood pressure (taken once daily by mouth), and Prozac (taken once daily by mouth). We thought Prozac was helping. We love her SO much.

Fast forward to the present. I found out that I am pregnant. We spent the money for a pet behaviorist hoping she could help us desensitize or train Pb before the baby- who we are afraid she will attack/ kill. The behaviorist was lovely, but she didn't offer much advice beyond creating more spaces for Pb to hide as a result, we bought a super expensive cat tree she has barely even looked at and we were going to start introducing baby noises to prepare her for a new roommate. After the session, my husband and I recently took a belated honeymoon. Fearing for the safety of a cat sitter we decided to board her at my vet's (which he recommended). This did NOT go well. The vet told me she turned to a "feral state" and he feared for the safety of his techs. She had to be put in an isolation room and he would not allow her to be boarded there again.

Waiting downstairs for the vet to bring her, I could hear her screaming/ yowling as they tried to put her in the carrier. Afterward, when we got into the uber to go home, she was immediately loving and sweet. Her aggression is always focused on others, she LOVES me- i.e. needs to be near me often and sleeps in my arms at night.

What do I do? We have already increased her Prozac. We don't have any friends over. My family is scared to visit me- my sister refuses to come, even after I give birth.

I am almost 6 months pregnant at this point. The dr. has suggested introducing sedatives to manage the aggression, but she's already on SO much medication. We have brought up euthanasia with him, but he has been very dismissive and thinks we can handle this.

My heart is absolutely breaking and I am having frequent anxiety attacks. I look at her looking at me with such love and I start sobbing (I'm also pregnant/ hormonal). Do we put her down? We cannot in good conscience rehouse her with her history. I don't want to let her go, but I am starting to get really scared about what is going to happen when I have this baby. We have also spent A TON of money- thousands and thousands of dollars- on her medication, vet bills, and getting her assessed.

My other sister is visiting this weekend, and we are using it as a test to see if there is another incident (we are on alert so won't let it escalate like last time). I don't feel any confidence she will pass.

She is, and I want to reiterate this, SO loving towards us. It's only when someone she doesn't know enters our apt that she begins to exhibit this behavior ( we have to watch her closet if our landlord or super need to come in).

What do I do???? I no longer feel I can talk to my vet anymore- after her latest boarding incident, he seems to have lost interest in her care. Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated. Thank you.
 

ArtNJ

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What I would propose is this:

(1) get the medical records together and consult with a highly rated vet in your area for a second opinion. Its quite possible the cat is feeling crappy from the various ailments or another undiagnosed problem like arthritis;

(2) keep the cat in a room with a closed door when entertaining and don't have anyone stay with you;

(3) if and only if the new vet has an idea to try -- like maybe pain meds if he thinks there is arthritis -- then you can try a test with a visitor, having a towel ready for you to grab the cat. No more grabbing without a towel and getting ripped up;

(4) have a rehoming plan in mind and get yourself emotionally ready. Many "problem" cats can be rehomed. Some shelters will take such cats and look for a home willing to take the challenge. Euthanasia is a last resort;

(5) when the baby arives, make sure your husband has some time off. He should have a towel ready/nearby to grab the cat with if it shows aggression when you are carrying the baby around. Try to give the cat treats and love if it approaches calmly, but be cautious when the baby is crying until you see how the cat is going to react. Problems with babies are very very rare, but when they do happen, often its when the baby cries loudly.

(6) at the very latest, if your still having problems when your husband needs to go back to work, I think your going to need to rehome the cat. And honestly, if your having problems with the cat showing aggression to the baby even when your husband is home to help, I think you should immediate rehome the cat. If it gets to that point, I don't think your solving this and the risks are too high. If rehoming fails . . . well, you can't risk your baby getting viciously attacked. Its one thing when your husband is home ot help, but when its just you, you *will* need to eventually put the baby down for a bit. If the cat is showing aggression, the risk of devastating life changing injuries is just too high at that point. At that point, I don't think you'd have any choice.

Best and good luck! Remember, you can only do what you can do, and not every single problem is solveable. You can't blame yourself if it turns out that yours is unsolveable.
 
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cdonadio86

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What I would propose is this:

(1) get the medical records together and consult with a highly rated vet in your area for a second opinion. Its quite possible the cat is feeling crappy from the various ailments or another undiagnosed problem like arthritis;

(2) keep the cat in a room with a closed door when entertaining and don't have anyone stay with you;

(3) if and only if the new vet has an idea to try -- like maybe pain meds if he thinks there is arthritis -- then you can try a test with a visitor, having a towel ready for you to grab the cat. No more grabbing without a towel and getting ripped up;

(4) have a rehoming plan in mind and get yourself emotionally ready;

(5) when the baby arives, make sure your husband has some time off. He should have a towel ready/nearby to grab the cat with if it shows aggression when you are carrying the baby around. Try to give the cat treats and love if it approaches calmly, but be cautious when the baby is crying until you see how the cat is going to react. Problems with babies are very very rare, but when they do happen, often its when the baby cries loudly.

(6) at the very latest, if your still having problems when your husband needs to go back to work, I think your going to need to rehome the cat. And honestly, if your having problems with the cat showing aggression to the baby even when your husband is home to help, I think you should immediate rehome the cat. If it gets to that point, I don't think your solving this and the risks are too high.

Best and good luck!


Thank you for the quick reply! My worry about rehousing is
1. she is on so much medication right now, no one will want to take her
2. she will attack new owners.
 

ArtNJ

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Thank you for the quick reply! My worry about rehousing is
1. she is on so much medication right now, no one will want to take her
2. she will attack new owners.
Rehoming is certainly not guarrantied, but might be possible. My brother rehomed an aggressive elder cat with diabetes. A shelter took the cat knowing the challenges, and eventually found a home. Some people particularly like the idea of adopting a cat with challenges, knowing that they are saving a life. Its worth a shot, even if it fails.

I did edit my post as you were replying. If rehoming fails, and the cat shows aggression towards the baby, I don't think you'll have much choice. You can't let the situation continue to the point where you'll be on your own, hubby back at work, and need to put the baby down for a few minutes. Risking a few scratches when your standing by is one thing, but putting the baby in a swing to watch Baby Einstein or whatever will risk life changing injuries, if the cat is showing aggression toward the baby.
 

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In all of what you told us; I did not hear anything about how frequently she is being checked for her health conditions. Constant blood work and re-checks are needed for any cat on meds for H-T, diabetes, and hypertension. A lot of times hypertension is resolved when the thyroid is under better control. And management of diabetes and hyperthyroidism can affect appropriate treatment of each. Any or all of the meds she is on can have adverse effects if not dosed/adjusted properly. Prozac may also not be the answer for your cat - it is like any other drug not all work the same way on all cats. Anyone ever propose CBD oil as an alternative?

I would also suggest that you consider something more 'harmful' may have gone on when you had the sitter in to take care of her - and created a form of PTSD, if you will. Although not typically the case, sitters have been known to downplay event(s) that occur with a cat because they are afraid to admit the whole truth. Your cat may correlate whatever went on then to all other persons that she comes into contact with. And tbh, she sounds like she has also been through a lot of changes/situations back-to-back which only adds to anxiety. The less changes/visitors you have the better, for as long as you can manage to do so - or at least until you can find out more about what might be going on with her. I would not expose your cat to more of this if at all possible, for now. Since she is good with you, a calm quiet environment is the best for her.

I know you said you've spent a lot of money already, but I would seriously consider getting a second opinion from a specialty group or veterinary university. All records and tests that have been done on your cat are yours to share with other vets, to help reduce redundant costs/tests- but most specialty groups or vet universities will require a referral.

The good side of this - if there is one - you are emitting hormones from being pregnant, and cats CAN sense that, so that change is not apparently affecting her negatively. The other side of this is that infants aren't able to tower above her, manhandle her, etc. so she is less likely to respond to an infant in an attacking mode as she does with adults. I am not downplaying your concerns - but will offer this TCS articles on cats and babies for possible tips on how to prepare your cat for the baby - see link below. There just might be some helpful suggestions for you.

Not like you don't know this already, but something is being missed.

Cats And Babies: All Your Questions Answered! – TheCatSite Articles
 
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cdonadio86

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In all of what you told us; I did not hear anything about how frequently she is being checked for her health conditions. Constant blood work and re-checks are needed for any cat on meds for H-T, diabetes, and hypertension. A lot of times hypertension is resolved when the thyroid is under better control. And management of diabetes and hyperthyroidism can affect appropriate treatment of each. Any or all of the meds she is on can have adverse effects if not dosed/adjusted properly. Prozac may also not be the answer for your cat - it is like any other drug not all work the same way on all cats. Anyone ever propose CBD oil as an alternative?

I would also suggest that you consider something more 'harmful' may have gone on when you had the sitter in to take care of her - and created a form of PTSD, if you will. Although not typically the case, sitters have been known to downplay event(s) that occur with a cat because they are afraid to admit the whole truth. Your cat may correlate whatever went on then to all other persons that she comes into contact with. And tbh, she sounds like she has also been through a lot of changes/situations back-to-back which only adds to anxiety. The less changes/visitors you have the better, for as long as you can manage to do so - or at least until you can find out more about what might be going on with her. I would not expose your cat to more of this if at all possible, for now. Since she is good with you, a calm quiet environment is the best for her.

I know you said you've spent a lot of money already, but I would seriously consider getting a second opinion from a specialty group or veterinary university. All records and tests that have been done on your cat are yours to share with other vets, to help reduce redundant costs/tests- but most specialty groups or vet universities will require a referral.

The good side of this - if there is one - you are emitting hormones from being pregnant, and cats CAN sense that, so that change is not apparently affecting her negatively. The other side of this is that infants aren't able to tower above her, manhandle her, etc. so she is less likely to respond to an infant in an attacking mode as she does with adults. I am not downplaying your concerns - but will offer this TCS articles on cats and babies for possible tips on how to prepare your cat for the baby - see link below. There just might be some helpful suggestions for you.

Not like you don't know this already, but something is being missed.

Cats And Babies: All Your Questions Answered! – TheCatSite Articles
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Pb has been getting bloodwork semi-regularly. Her vet also monitors her medication closely, as we have been trying to manage her health issues for over a year. We planned to get her radiation to treat her thyroid, but we could never get her diabetes under control, so the vet (thyroid specialist in NYC) did not recommend it.

Unfortunately, keeping visitors out is not an option. I am pregnant with my first baby, and I will need help.

But getting a second opinion is an excellent idea. I agree, something is missing here. Until this point, PB really has been the loveliest cat and a part of our family. This whole situation has been very costly, but she is worth it.

Thanks again.
 

FeebysOwner

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Unfortunately, keeping visitors out is not an option. I am pregnant with my first baby, and I will need help.
Totally understand. If you have an extra room, perhaps you can start to acquaint her with it as 'her' room - bedding, even food/water/litter box so that she gets accustomed to the idea that she can be in that room with all her amenities. That way you could place her there when you are having company. It won't work so well if the company is staying overnight but would help during those times when someone is in the house for briefer periods of time.

I sure hope a second opinion proves fruitful. A second set of eyes might at least come up with some other possibilities to pursue.
 
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ArtNJ

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Can you keep the cat in one room when you have visitors? Many cats do just fine in studios.

If your going to have a family member come for a good while to help, and still having this problem at that point, you could try a slow introduction to the human. Almost treat it like a cat to cat introduction you know? Get them to give you a well worn shirt a few days in advance so you can get the cat used to the smell. Then put up a baby gate so the cat can see the family member. Then the family member can toss treats through the gate. That sort of thing
 
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cdonadio86

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Can you keep the cat in one room when you have visitors? Many cats do just fine in studios.

If your going to have a family member come for a good while to help, and still having this problem at that point, you could try a slow introduction to the human. Almost treat it like a cat to cat introduction you know? Get them to give you a well work shirt a few days in advance so you can get the cat used to the smell. Then put up a baby gate so the cat can see the family member. Then the family member can toss treats through the gate. That sort of thing
Thank you for your reply. Yes, luckily we moved a while ago into a bigger apartment. She has already claimed our bedroom as "hers", so it can definitely act as a safe space in the future. I am also contacting other vets this morning, a second opinion is forthcoming!

Even just the act of writing this post and asking for help has been such a relief. There are still things we can and will try. We don't have to give up yet.
 

ArtNJ

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You definitely don't have to give up! I haven't seen more than a couple of posts about actual (not feared) aggression towards babies over thousands of posts over several years. It does happen, but its really very very rare.

Unlike the visiting humans to date, the cat will have plenty of time to get used to the babies smell because it will either be in the crib, or on you, for a good period of time (I forget the timing...babies are many years ago here) before you put the baby down in a rocker to watch baby tv or something like that. You'll certainly need to be on guard during the period your wearing the baby and never putting it down except in the crib, and it would be good to have the hubby or someone available to help with a towel in case of the worst, but you can hopefully acclimate the cat to the baby before there is a truly risky exposure. You'll obviously need to have the issue under control before you can put the baby in a rocker and go do the dishes, but you'll have that period of time, how many weeks or months I forget, for the transition.
 
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