Help with Cats Getting Along

lesliel76

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So I had an outdoor feral I tried to bring inside that didn't work the first time and I never thought it would work for him to be an indoor gut. But for some reason one day out of no where he became my friend, I could pet him literally out of the blue, and he wanted so much love and started to just wait by the windows all day to try and come in.

Last week before a snow storm he walked in and has been inside since. I took a bit of a chance without bringing to the vet bc I have other cats but he was just at the vet in November to get fixed, was treated for everthing fleas, worms etc and cleared of fiv, parasites and stuff. And before he came in I got a dose of Revolution on him 2 days prior, and the vet gave me another dewormer pill he ate up a day before that covered all worms including tape worm. So I feel pretty confident it's ok. Plus he doesn't have runny poo like parasites or anything. So his health seems good I did check for fleas and saw none and got a dose or Rev on my other cats too. One ear looks suspicious I get afraid of mites but nothing crazy and he isn't iching. I tried cleaning today but I'm going slow with touching and stuff bc its all new for him.

He does such a good job and has let me clip his nails and pick him up. He honestly was one of the scariest ferals I ever trapped and to turn into this love bug is crazy.

The problem is my other cat Tony. He is super aggressive. Everyday has gotten better and better. At first it was just pure screaming and freak out towards the new comer Romeo. We are now at they can be in the same room if everyone is calm. Or distracted by food or games.

They have separate resources too food and water Romeos area is the basement and Tony's and my other cat Oliver have the upstairs. They seem to know these are their spots and feel comfortable with them which is why I did it that way.

Nighttime is the part I struggle with. At night Tony gets nuts and stalks Romeo around the house. The daytime is calm and usually everyone sleeps and does their own thing. Walking by eachother with cation and stuff. But the nighttime is awful. Tony waits and then attacks. He doesn't really hurt him he just jumps out at him but it's scares Romeo and then he hides. He will just stalk him going where he goes which makes it hard for Romeo to eat or use the box. When it gets bad I separate them, putting Romeo in his basement area.

I'm just curious what can I do more. In the mornings I let them eat by eachother which helps. I rub scents on eachother. I play, talk calmly. Give them their areas but also let them flip flop so they don't get too territorial over one spot. And why at night does Tony seem to flip vs the day? It's like he just looses it it night. His puplis dilate and don't go down. I can tell he's super agitated this cat is in his space.

I should add it's been a lot of change for Tony. He only came in from the streets 2 years ago from New York. I know he had to be territorial to survive. But he does like other cats and when i brought him in he had ronget along with 3 other guys which he did right away and they accepted him. He barley was inside and I moved him and my other cats to Wisconsin. During our time in Wisconsin the last year and half I lost 2 cats that Tony was friends with and cuddled with. It's been hard. One guy just Recently over the holidays to Cancer..and now bam a new cat. Just to give some context bc I know it hasn't been easy for him. My other cat Oliver is more adjusted.
 

Furballsmom

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Hi, have you tried any calming products? Would Tony respond to a purr toy or a heartbeat toy?

Can you contain Romeo in the basement before Tony starts up at night?
 
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lesliel76

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Yes I have the Pheromones plug ins. When he does start up is when I get Romeo down there. Only Romeo is trying to assimilate and it feels like a punishment for him. Maybe tonight I'll flip it up and keep Tony in a room with his box and stuff.

The heartbeat toys I've never tried. Is that for a situation like this? I would have to get him to calm down to get him to snuggle with one of these but it's a thought.

It's only been a week so there is definitely room for improvement I worry that we are getting into this routine at night and I'm not seeing improvement on that. I guess it must trigger some survival at night territorial thing in Tony from the streets.
 
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lesliel76

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Yeah me too I don't want anyone to get territorial over these spots.

Tony isn't your typical cat lol. He plays really rough too and part of me things he's trying to engage with some play. But Romoe is very gentle and sweet for that. My other cat Oliver is game to wrestle it out and be crazy but Romeo is scared, and I don't blame him. Everything is so new for him. He was pretty feral so the fact that he's indoors and purring and stuff is crazy to me. He even let me clip his nails the other day purred the whole time. Wild
 
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lesliel76

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This is still going on and I'm getting really frustrated. In the middle of it my other cat got hurt and I've been back and forth to the vet bc he has this nasty injury on his leg. The aggressor cat took it out on him and chased him and his leg got cut on this window.

I do all the things that I have read like switch places, put food by eachother. Rub scents. Tony just goes after Romeo for no reason. Eveyone will be chill and he chases him under the couch so he can't move. If he moves that's when Tony flips out. Tony will go rest upstairs and then Romeo gets free range and he's happy.

At night I still have to put Romeo in the basement.

Tony sits by the gate a big part of the night guarding.

You can feel the tension in my house and I miss the calm.

I have the plug ins.

Romeo is not aggressive but he growls and hisses to defend himself.
 

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Hi, can you really start to distract Tony, like every time he corners Romeo --if you can do it safely, pick him up and move him into another room, every time, and also contain him overnight so he can't guard the basement gate.
 

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Has Tony gone to the vet and had bloodwork done? This can be a sign of early hyperthyroidism.

Can Tony be the one to be put away when he attacks?

Do you know if there's some cats outside your home still that's causing the deffered agression?
 
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lesliel76

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Hi, can you really start to distract Tony, like every time he corners Romeo --if you can do it safely, pick him up and move him into another room, every time, and also contain him overnight so he can't guard the basement gate.
I started to do this more after I read your comment and it is helping. It's a slow process. It's hard to watch all day of course so at night Romeo is still going in his space in the basement.

I have another sick kitty Oliver so I am drastracted with that right now. I kind of can't believe it bc I just put his brother down in January and they are only 8. I don't know what's wrong with him yet but he's had an ultrasound and needle aspirations. He has a long complicated history of a rare bacteria infection and I don't have the right vet care right now bc I moved to a different state from when he went through that. The vet I saw so far was not good and I got him going to internal medicine soon. Sooo Romeo and Tony take a back burner but everyone is ok and making sure they get lots of love from me and what they need for food etc.
 
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lesliel76

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Has Tony gone to the vet and had bloodwork done? This can be a sign of early hyperthyroidism.

Can Tony be the one to be put away when he attacks?

Do you know if there's some cats outside your home still that's causing the deffered agression?
Yeah Tony is super young like 3 or 4 I would be shocked if hyperthyroidism was at play. But anything is possible. I think it's more of a survival thing with him bc he came from the streets of Brooklyn and had to be territorial to survive. Nighttime seems like a trigger for him and seeing another cat in his space sets him off.

I have tried switching things up putting Tony away etc. It always goes back to the same thing. I am watching and distracting him the best I can when he gets crazy and it is helping. But it's very slow and Romeo I put in the basement still at night. It just gives him space to do his thing without feeling threatened. I watch him on a camera and he plays a bit then eats and mostly sleeps. I open it up when I wake up.

I got a bit distracted bc I have a sick kitty now. Not sure if we are dealing with end of life type thing. I just put his brother down in January so I'm on edge. Tony and Romeo will have to take a backseat while I take care of my other guy Oliver.

Oh and Tony had blood done less than a year ago I don't know if that was checked bc he is young. There is another orange cat outside I know is there from watching Romeo on camera. If Tony sees it you will know bc you will hear screaming from him and so far he hasn't seen it. I leave food for him during bad weather and left Romeos heated shelter up for him but I can't take that one on full time right now with everything going on.
 

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I'm so sorry to hear about your other sick baby :(

Would it be possible that you could talk with your previous vet?
 
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lesliel76

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I'm so sorry to hear about your other sick baby :(

Would it be possible that you could talk with your previous vet?
That's a good question. Its really an ER hospital vet in Brooklyn NY so I doubt they will give me the time. He ended up in the internal medicine there that did all the follow ups but I wonder if I could pay for an opinion.

The vet I went to was really horrible he even went on to say my cat was misdiagnosed in New York bc they used a dirty needle for the aspiration test bc there was no way that the bacteria they found in the spleen could of been there. I asked him if he read the records that it was not just one that but several over the course of 6 months. He got defensive and we had words as this point where I tried to express my lack of confidence and being heard in the most mature way possible. But I was quickly labled difficult. There was so many red flags with this vet I don't know why I kept going they never treated any of my cats very well I just don't have a lot of options by me.

I'm frustrated this morning and hit that I'm overwhelmed emotionally point. I just want whats best for my little guys and I try to make sure I always do right by them but sometimes my hands are tied. I hope the appointment on April 4th will be good and that he is stable enough till then.
 
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lesliel76

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Maybe a different vet? I changed veterinarians a couple of times before finding one who was knowledgeable, experienced, cat friendly and compassionate. (They're shifting towards being a bit more "corporate" lately, but not too badly yet).

This might help;

Find a Veterinarian and Practice | The Cat Community
Ohhh thank you for this link. So helpful. Yes the next appointment is for another new vet. It's a hour drive and at a hospital but they did good care for my cats at the end of their lives.

I for some reason have lost a cat every year for the past 3 years right around the holidays. My Christmas tree feels like bad luck when I oull it out. Two were almost 20 so it was expected. This year was out of the blue cancer.

I tend to always attract cats some how they just show up at my door so I always have some sort of rotation but man it hurts so much to loose one. So I'm anxious. He's stable but lost like 4 pounds and you can feel his bones like it's muscle mass. I'm glad I even did the ultrasound bc the vet was like he seems ok. Bc his weight was 12 pounds. I am stewing a bit on the vet today obviously. Its frustrating when you do invasive expensive testing and know it was not with the right place. I'm going to check your list out but yeah for now we have an appointment with what I think is the right care.
 

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L lesliel76 Were always happy to get photos. Bunch of cat-lovers here!

If distraction is going well that's great. I think I would just suggest to put Tony away if you're going to put anyone away so he's not getting that reward of extra territory.

If you can, try to rub a small blanket or towel all over Romeo and then all over Tony. Then rub it on places where they generally go or generally get into fights. This will build that shared family smell.

You can also rub some treats on Romeo's cheeks (and maybe give him some too haha!) and then feed them to Tony.
 
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lesliel76

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L lesliel76 Were always happy to get photos. Bunch of cat-lovers here!

If distraction is going well that's great. I think I would just suggest to put Tony away if you're going to put anyone away so he's not getting that reward of extra territory.

If you can, try to rub a small blanket or towel all over Romeo and then all over Tony. Then rub it on places where they generally go or generally get into fights. This will build that shared family smell.

You can also rub some treats on Romeo's cheeks (and maybe give him some too haha!) and then feed them to Tony.
So I've been doing putting Tony away and Romeo I'm not putting away at night.

Putting Tony away after bad behavior isn't working at all. He comes out with so much rage and the first thing he does is go looking for him.

Today he really got him in the ear and Romeo was bleeding. I have some stuff to clean it and it looks just superficial but yeah I'm upset. I locked Tony away in a room all day and just let him out and he went right for him. So I don't know if that's the answer. It's almost like he needs to settle down on his own and me doing it is making him more crazy. He's on a level 10 right now and is pacing around the house bc he was in the room all day.

There are moments of peace and things seem ok so I'm suprised I'm still going through this. Romeo really wants to come upstairs too at night to sleep in bed with me and Tony is blocking him from the upstairs like it's his.

I did the towel rub and that didn't do anything.

I can tell Tony knows what he's doing is wrong just by how he won't do it when I'm around. If I block and distract Tony he's ok and I've even see Romeo on the couch and Tony on the chair sleeping.

Is there a chance this may never work? I've thought about finding Romoe a home where he can really be himself in bc he's so restricted here. I'm so attached to him I don't want to do it but he has to hide a lot from Tony and I don't want a worse thing to happen after seeing today.
 

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I've even see Romeo on the couch and Tony on the chair sleeping.
This indicates that absolutely there's a better than good chance.

Can you find a way to help Tony work off all that energy, before he lets it loose in Romeo?
 
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