HELP! New cat acting aggressively towards resident cat

[Wardyh92]

Hey everyone, this is my first time here, hope I'm posting in the right place.

A couple of days ago we brought home Freddie, an 8 month old male bombay. We had him neutered immediately. Our resident cat Stevie, a year old female persian (not yet neutered), has not warmed to him at all.

We kept them separate for the first night but both cats absolutely hate being shut away in the bedroom away from us. So we decided to allow them both to hang out in the living area with us.

At first it was ok and Freddie was gently approaching Stevie with Stevie hissing and lashing out only if he got too close. When this happened we would remove Freddie. But the situation has worsened.

Stevie is used to free feeding but we were advised to implement a regular feeding schedule and have both cats eat at the same time nearby each other so they can get used to each other's smell. Unfortunately, Freddie has been acting aggressively ever since this happened. He will chase Stevie away from both his food and hers and now Stevie won't eat.

We are both extremely stressed and actually haven't slept since we got Freddie. We just don't know what to do. All the advice we've been given seems to have only made things worse!

Please help!

 

[ArtNJ]

Well, you basically totally skipped a formal introduction process for two non-kittens. That is usually going to make things difficult. Not to mention, you literally just neutered the newcomer, so it would actually be a problem if things were going well immediately and they were playing roughly. The cat needs time to heal, and either fighting, playing or chasing are all problematic. The incision might even still hurt, making him extra grumpy. Not a good time to meet a new cat. You should back all the way up, and do a formal introduction process. I'll link our guide below:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

The good news is that no permanent harm has been done, and that two cats under one year old usually become friends, eventually. But in light of the neutering, which *is* surgery, your minimum process should be a week or so, which, with the few days that have passed since the neutering, should be enough time for him to fully heal up. However, it could take longer than that -- it will take as long as it takes. The key is not to move to the next step until things seem relatively calm.

If you don't follow this advice and just let them be, they might well work it out. If cats aren't actually full on fighting, they often can work it out, and as I mentioned, two under 1 year olds have good odds. However, the best chance for them to be friends would be to do a formal process and leave them with less to work through at the end. Plus, as mentioned, isolation makes sense given the surgery.

Good luck!

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hi,

It is really important to follow the formal introduction process.

It is really important to slowly introduce them first through scent and "good things" like food in totally separate territories (new cat in its own room while the resident cat in the rest of the home).

So we want to keep the new cat in its own room and begin to feed them on each side of a closed door. This allows them to feel safe and make a positive association with the new cat with something good - food.

That is our first step. We do this for at least a week. Start with the food a few feet away from the door and slowly move them a few inches closer each day.

What we want to do is let each cat know that the other cat is a positive and will not threaten them physically, or threaten their access to food, water, the litter box. Or their territory since cats are territorial creatures.

It is like when we meet a person. We don't invite them to live with us on the first moment. We learn about them, build trust, slowly build trust, etc.

Same with cats.

I will find the article that goes through the whole process and I can walk you through it as well.

Often times it is the existing/resident cat that has the biggest issue as it is "their" territory (home) being invaded. So we want to make sure that they build trust and confidence during the introduction process.

I fix intro's all the time so what you are experiencing is very common. The biggest mistake people make is they rush them. When done correctly it is very rare for an intro to not work.

Don't stress. Cats take on our emotions so the more stressed we are the more they are and the more problems we end up having. I know it is easier said than done but we can handle the issues between the cats. Just keep them totally physically separated. The new cat in its own room/territory while the existing/resident cat has access to the rest of the house. I know the new cat will not like it but it has to be done. Just go in there, feed him, give him a scratching post, a cat tree, warm and comfy bedding, a litter box, water, etc. Make it a fun place. And if you can play with him in there that is great. Be calm and confident and loving to him (safely so you are not at risk of being hurt in any way).

It is really all about making positive associations (using food), making positive encounters (for now through scent), minimizing negative encounters, and building their confidence through (Play, Food, Height and Love) which I can explain to you more.

A confident cat is more likely to accept and be accepted.

We want to get to a point where when they are together they are like "I know that cat, that cat is cool. They aren't a threat. That cat has been here and I still get good food, he doesn't attack me, I can use my territory, etc". We just keep reinforcing positives to get to that point.

I will find the article and then we can go back and forth to work to solve your issue. I just saw that ArtNJ has posted the article. I will help you through each step.

Please let me know any questions you have and we'll take it one step at a time and make some progress. Hang in there.

 

[Wardyh92]

Thank you for your replies!

We triedd a formal introduction with Freddie separated in the bedroom with lots of toys at first but it made him very agitated, which agitated Stevie. He scratched up the door and peed on our bed, even though he knows he has a litter tray in there. So we would prefer to keep that as a cat free zone from now on. Unfortunately the rest of our apartment is just one room so we've been trying to get them to share the space and get used to each other. It's not ideal but we can't have the cats going crazy where we sleep.

Sometimes the cats are happy to lie down and even sleep right next to each other in the living room, which is promising. It's just that Freddie sometimes gets too close or tries to play and Stevie doesn't like it. And Freddie is becoming aggressive over food.

We've also heard that Freddie could still be fertile even after having the snip, and that's worrying us as well. We are kind of afraid to leave them alone in case Freddie impregnates Stevie. Is that at all likely?

 

[war&wisdom]

Thank you for your replies!

We triedd a formal introduction with Freddie separated in the bedroom with lots of toys at first but it made him very agitated, which agitated Stevie. He scratched up the door and peed on our bed, even though he knows he has a litter tray in there. So we would prefer to keep that as a cat free zone from now on. Unfortunately the rest of our apartment is just one room so we've been trying to get them to share the space and get used to each other. It's not ideal but we can't have the cats going crazy where we sleep.

Sometimes the cats are happy to lie down and even sleep right next to each other in the living room, which is promising. It's just that Freddie sometimes gets too close or tries to play and Stevie doesn't like it. And Freddie is becoming aggressive over food.

We've also heard that Freddie could still be fertile even after having the snip, and that's worrying us as well. We are kind of afraid to leave them alone in case Freddie impregnates Stevie. Is that at all likely?

That's possible in the couple weeks immediately after the neuter.

You need to get Stevie spayed ASAP, not only to prevent pregnancy but also avoidable health issues.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Make sure you clean the bed with an enzymatic cleaner.

He peed because he was stressed most likely. It was new territory and he was worried about the new cat and he wanted everyone to know that is "his" territory.

Yes, I believe it is possible. The fact she is intact still will most likely cause issues. I would get her spayed as soon as possible.

Hopefully ArtNJ or someone else can be more helpful than I can given your circumstances. Good luck.

 

[ArtNJ]

The problems you are describing aren't *that* severe. Cats can often fix a lot on their own if there isn't actual fighting. Try feeding in separate rooms for a while. The bathroom can be one room if you have too.

Eight year old cats are generally not that flexible and often have trouble adapting to new cats. You likely would have had a much easier time with a kitten or another cat under 1 year old.

I think that, given all the circumstances, including the fact that most shelters are having an easy time adopting out cats due to Covid-19, you might consider giving the new cat back to the shelter if things don't improve. Adding an 8 year old without the set-up to do a formal introduction process can be incredibly difficult.

 

[Wardyh92]

We are planning to take Stevie to get spayed on Monday. It's currently a national holiday where we are.

Is it possible to get them to bond and start being friendly with each other without isolating either of them?

What can we do to stop Freddie being so aggressive whenever Stevie tries to eat?

 

[war&wisdom]

It's only been a couple of days. You may need to start by having them eat in separate areas, out of sight of one another.

 

[Wardyh92]

We are not considering getting rid of Freddie. He didn't come from a shelter and we actually paid a lot of money for him. We tried fostering a rescue cat recently but like most Vietnamese rescue cats, she was absolutely terrified, hid the entire time she was here, and refused to eat. We wanted a breed that we knew would be more comfortable around people and Freddie seemed to fit our criteria.

We just want him to bond with Stevie.

 

[Wardyh92]

We are not considering getting rid of Freddie. He didn't come from a shelter and we actually paid a lot of money for him. We tried fostering a rescue cat recently but like most Vietnamese rescue cats, she was absolutely terrified, hid the entire time she was here, and refused to eat. We wanted a breed that we knew would be more comfortable around people and Freddie seemed to fit our criteria.

We just want him to bond with Stevie.

EDIT: Freddie is 8 months, not 8 years. He is a little bit younger than Stevie.

 

[ArtNJ]

EDIT: Freddie is 8 months, not 8 years. He is a little bit younger than Stevie.

That is a good fact. Cats under 1 year generally become friends in the end, even if the beginning is bumpy. There is nothing terribly unusual you have described, except one deliberately driving the other away from both food dishes. If you can solve that problem by feeding in separate areas, this becomes a fairly typical situation. As long as there is no fighting, they can probably work everything else out. However, if they do start fighting, the recent neutering is an extra problem, with the wound being likely to reopen if they are rolling around. And now you are taking the other cat to get spayed, which is a more serious surgery. Again, in the ordinary course, everything will be fine, but if they actually fight or start playing roughly, she will be at significant risk.

Still, I agree that this has only been a few days, the cats are under 1 year, and if you are home for the most part because of Covid-19 and can prevent fighting, than this has every chance of working out well.

 

[Wardyh92]

It's good to know this isn't unusual. Thanks for all the advice so far.

Is there anything we can do to help the feeding situation without having to isolate one cat in the bathroom? Implementing a regular feeding schedule just made them hungry and aggressive and isolating either cat makes them go crazy. At the moment we have two bowls of food and two bowls of water on opposite sides of the room with no line of sight between. Freddie seems to think both are his though and Stevie can't go near hers without Freddie getting involved.

 

[ArtNJ]

It's good to know this isn't unusual. Thanks for all the advice so far.

Is there anything we can do to help the feeding situation without having to isolate one cat in the bathroom? Implementing a regular feeding schedule just made them hungry and aggressive and isolating either cat makes them go crazy. At the moment we have two bowls of food and two bowls of water on opposite sides of the room with no line of sight between. Freddie seems to think both are his though and Stevie can't go near hers without Freddie getting involved.

Well, what are you feeding how many times of day? And what is the feeding ritual? I'm not an expert on the two bowls in opposite corners of the room thing, I have always used one bowl for two or three cats. That said, I know that people say that if you put the food down at the same time and usher each to their respective bowls and away from the other, they eventually "get it". I'm sure someone that actually has experience with this can comment more.

As a fallback, given how young the cats are, if they don't have a weight problem, you could try going to unlimited grazing. That tends to cause obesity in the long run, but in the long run you can change things up. In the short term, unlimited grazing *might* solve your problems. No reason to defend the bowl if it always has enough food and the cat never has to be hungry. In theory. In practice, it may not work.

 

[Hellenww]

Is there anything we can do to help the feeding situation without having to isolate one cat in the bathroom? Implementing a regular feeding schedule just made them hungry and aggressive and isolating either cat makes them go crazy. At the moment we have two bowls of food and two bowls of water on opposite sides of the room with no line of sight between. Freddie seems to think both are his though and Stevie can't go near hers without Freddie getting involved.

They are both young enough that free feeding dry food along with scheduled wet food meals should be fine. At 8 mts Freddie needs as much as he can eat while still growing. Stevie was used to having crunchies when ever she wanted now she has scheduled meals so she might be in a little insecure about the next meal since this is a fairly new change. My 12yr & 13yr get 2 wet meals a day and I still put out 1/2 cp dry. Usually I have to throw away the dry after a few days but sometimes they eat it all in a day. Just having it there seems to relax them.

When I got a new kitten they got fed in the carrier, then on the other side of the room during wet food meals. Eventually they were able to eat a few feet away from each other with minimal stealing.

 

[Wardyh92]

That sounds like what we're doing now but Freddie still doesn't want to let Stevie eat any dry food. He follows her around wherever she goes and pounces if she gets close to either food bowl. Feeding him separately in the bathroom doesn't help because he will go right back to following Stevie and not letting her get near the food when he's out again.

Its weird because he wasn't like this at first. It's just been worsening throughout the day. We thought neutering would improve things but apparently not!

If anything he's getting more and more aggressive. We obviously can't leave them alone together like this but we can't isolate either one in the bedroom or bathroom or Freddie will be scratching the door to bits and yowling his head off all night.

 

[Hellenww]

Have you tried a few small dishes of dry in different rooms? It sound territorial. Has Stevie lost weight or acted fearful of Freddie at other times? If no then it's something you can let them work out. It's very early and they are working out how to communicate and who is dominant.

 

[Wardyh92]

What worries me is that Freddie is clearly trying to be dominant even though Stevie is older and has been here much longer. So it's not fair for her at all and I don't want her to feel like she's been replaced. He needs to back off and leave her alone but he just won't.

We have food in different areas but Freddie is still always watching Stevie and won't let her eat. The only times she will eat are when I help her and when I've taken Freddie away.

 

[Hellenww]

Until the hormones are out of his system and he's used to the idea that there will always be food and they've worked out their own pecking order keep doing what your doing. As long as no one is stressed let them work it out. They are young and it sounds like they are on the way to friendship. A human trying to control mostly friendly cat interaction will only cause upset for everyone in the long run.