Help! Neighbor's Cat Adopted Me!

[marge]

Hi

Several weeks ago I had a neighbors cat start coming over to my place. I discourged it, but then she started to look more and more like her owners had abandoned her. She would even rush over and lick the ground when I would water plants etc like she had no water in ages. She came over and cried at night a lot. I don't know her owners, or even who they are, but she had a tag, so I called the number on the tag tellling them what was going on, without accusing them I said their cat kept coming over crying at our place, and i left my number. They never called me back. So I started breakng down more and more, feeding the cat and letting her nap in the house or sleep when it was cold outside. She looks so much better has gained some weight. And one day I decided to just give in fully, purchase a litter box and cat toys and start keeping her in, and adopt her. Literally, the next day I decided to keep her, she shows up with a new collar and the tag on it again! So the owner does care! So I even start to feel guilty like I was doing something wrong, so I decided to ignore the cat. But the problem is, I have got this cat used to coming over and she won't stop. She comes over and cries, VERY loud at my door, I tryt to ignore it, but it gets really loud. And when she comes in she meow's loudly near where I was feeding her, and wolfs down food that I give her (even though I know I shouldn't!) I just don't know what to do now, plus I dont fully trust she is being cared for by her owners. What should I do?

 

[krazy kat2]

Cats will often choose their people. I had a cat once that I had raised from a month old. He decided after 5 years, he no longer liked us and went and found another home. It was a good home, where he was pampered and spoiled, so as much as I didn't really want to, I didn't try to force him back. If you think this cat is not being cared for, I would continue like you are. If she is hungry, they must not be feeding her properly. She was skinny, so she wasn't just being a little piggy, finding a meal wherever she could charm one. If she comes to you, there is a reason. The fact that she can even get to you speaks volumes.

 

[rfox]

You should keep feeding her and provide some comfort. she obviously likes you and there must be reason!

 

[marge]

Thanks so much for responding, and thanks for the wisdom. They kitty is sitting here now and is so happy I can't kick her out! I have a new suspicion too, I saw two other cats with similar collars as this one. And I am wondering if they are all from the same household, and this one is more docile and doesn't get the food or the attention and wanted to leave. So maybe things are just working out as they should. I will keep looking out for her. And play it by ear.

Thanks so much again for your words.

 

[vettechstudent]

HeHe.My neighbor's cat adopted me too.He is laying beside me in the floor as we speak.
They don't let him in at all,he is a long haired white cat and gets pretty dirty when left out all the time.
I put a collar on him a long time ago and they left it on.I did tell them several weeks after I put it on that I was the one who done it.I need to get him a new one though cause he lost the one he had on.
I guess they know he stays here and apparantly doesn't mind cause when he is "missing"(in my house) for a week at a time,they never come looking for him.

My advice:Keep letting the cat in,she obviously likes you better anyway.

 

[dragonlady]

I would call again and ask them if they would be willing to give you the cat. Sometimes people do their best and are overwhelmed. They may be willing to let you have the cat and then you can keep it inside safe and sound.

 

[purrfectcatlove]

DragonLady you have some great ideas . I secont that one

 

[dragonlady]

Thank you!

 

[princess purr]

I agree with dragon lady also.

 

[marge]

Thanks, more good thoughts. I will try to call them, i am skeptical they will call back. they didn't the first time, and the number is some voice mail box. But if I at least try I can come clean. And I don't judge the person, I know it could well be an overwhelm thing.

 

[marge]

Oh argghhh... I chickened out. I was all set to call the number on her tag and then...I chickened out. What if these people accuse me of taking their pet? I mean it's human nature to get defensive and I am basically saying that its' "ok" I take her on cause she wasn't properly taken care of. Well though as you say, it might just be they are busy. But Ugh, this could be a really awkward conversation at BEST. What if they had no idea? What they are upset? I am lost right now!

But at least the cat is happy, she is sleeping here and had a great dinner, better than I did!

 

[catlady123]

I would stop. I have a cat who is very friendly and adventurous. He apparently has other homes he goes to during the day when we let him out to hunt and play with the other neighbor cats. They feed him poor quality food from the corner store, we feed him an expensive local organic food that doesnt come from dead dying or diseased animal meats. He doesnt need to come home when hes hungr for his evening meal because others are feeding him so he has no pattern anymore of coming home at dark. Because they feed him and let him inside, and they have now developed a relationship with him, he obviously comes around regularly, now meowing at my window waking me up all morning so he can rush over there and eat his cat crack food. He gets all the affection he needs really over there and now doesnt need much if any from me anymore. When I go to call him in at night he cant hear me because he is inside this guys house. So i worry what time he will be out wandering around, id rather he come in at dark when the coyotes come out, but im at the will of when this other guy lets him out, and in which case i have to wait up until then to let him back in. Our other cat, not having been adopted by a neighbor, comes in when shes called, usually out under a bush or in the yard and can hear us calling. You can see the problems it causes when you adopt another persons kitty. You are not their gaurdian, you do not know what special needs or food allergies the cat might have. You dont know how worried the owners are when their cat is gone for so many hours without checking in as it would if it was just prowling outside. It has caused me great stress and worry. He has access to good food, water and home at all times but hes never really around anymore. This could all been avoided with an initial contact with the guardians first to see if your patterns are affecting the home life of this cat and the people.

 

[larussa]

I would call again and ask them if they would be willing to give you the cat. Sometimes people do their best and are overwhelmed. They may be willing to let you have the cat and then you can keep it inside safe and sound.

Ditto.

 

[natalie_ca]

This thread is 11 years old, so the original poster likely worked out the situation.

For for future situations, if a cat adopted me and I saw it outside all of the time, I would take it in and keep her/him. And if the people came looking for her, I would deny having seen her.  I don't believe in leaving a cat/dog outside to their own devices. Obviously that cat needed more attention/love than it was getting. 

 

[cookie79]

I have a similar problem in that the neighbours cat is regularly meowing at my door to be let in and even brings me dried leaves (meowing at the top of her lungs). I don't feed her but she is around a lot - the door is always open for her to go and we don't ever allow her to stay inside when we're sleeping or not home. I'm not quite sure what to do. She is a lovely cat and clearly enjoys my company but she is not my cat - I don't know if her owners are neglectful, she seems well fed and is well-looked after - perhaps she just doesn't like them? she is quite curious/adventurous but I worry why she spends so much time at our house.  

 

[StefanZ]

 
I have a similar problem in that the neighbours cat is regularly meowing at my door to be let in and even brings me dried leaves (meowing at the top of her lungs). I don't feed her but she is around a lot - the door is always open for her to go and we don't ever allow her to stay inside when we're sleeping or not home. I'm not quite sure what to do. She is a lovely cat and clearly enjoys my company but she is not my cat - I don't know if her owners are neglectful, she seems well fed and is well-looked after - perhaps she just doesn't like them? she is quite curious/adventurous but I worry why she spends so much time at our house.  

The best is to try and contact her owners.  And find together a solution.  Perhaps she is sociale in this way. Perhaps she would prefer to move to you.  Or you had this cat together.

As long as both households agree, so.   It may become touchy if the owners want some payment.  Or rather, if they want more than a symbolic payment...

"but they day, the sorrow" as the proverb says.

Another variation is if you clearly see the cat seems to be neglected, as with the original poster. and Natalie discussed.   The best is still to contact them, I think, here being more forward you would like to adopt the cat.

But I presume there may be situations where you just take the cat. For example, when you KNOW the owners are impossible to talk reason with.

But this works only if you have the cat as inside only.  You cant let her got out, such "impossible" people would of course make you a big trouble - and them being the formal owners, they could even win.   Also, troublemakers do have an edge in such situations: chaos and guarrel is the air and essence of their life.  While most people just want peace.

So, again, 19 times of 20 the best is to agree with the old owner.   In some situations  the best solution may be to phone to the "animal police" or the equivalent in your county.

The only situation where its correct to take in a straying cat, if you do not have any way to know who is the owner.  And double especially, if it is clear the cat is freshy astray / dumped.

In these cases its not enough "to have your eyes open".   That is because such freshly astray cats are virtually defenceless against predators of all kinds.  They hadnt yet learned even a minimum of street smartness, and thus the death ratio is the highest in the beginning.   They can even die by sheer stress!  (I know myself of such an example).

So in such cases, the trick is to take the cat in and help it, but simultaneously seek actively after owners.

This way you are also legally totally safe.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

~ Hi marge ! Welcome to the club of people adopted / owned by cats .
When cats come to my yard and are hungry they eat . It doesn't matter if they are strays , abandoned , feral or just "visiting" . No cats leaves hungry or thirsty . If they are tame and I can put a dose of flea drops on I do so .
It sounds like the kitty that visits you has a negligent owner . No harm done in giving food and water .

 

[betsygee]

This is a very old thread that got revived by a new member. We're going to close it now.

The new member's thread is here: Neighbor's Cat Is Coming Over