Help & Guidance Needed For Foster To Adopt Cat Hiding

OrnamentGirl75

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Hi, I am fostering to adopt a cat from the shelter. She had kittens when they had her and once they were ready to adopt, they separated them from her. They figure she is around 2-3 years old. She's a snowshoe/siamese.
I've had her for 5 weeks. I've tried everything to help her gain confidence from hiding, but she still runs and hides when she knows I'm home or moving about in the house. She has her own space (a larger bedroom) with all her needs met. Toys, litter and food. Scratch post and scratch box. A soft spot to sleep and a window ledge that is a foot wide for her to look out of. She hides under the futon at the moment, which I've slowly reduced the space under it with pillows to bring her closer to the front. She will eat treats and food out of my hand and lick my fingers. She will swat at the wand with the feathers I have that I play with, with her.
She will also let me touch her head and pet her a little. She's never been a nasty kitty as such.
I've kept her food the same and introduced a soft food she likes for the moisture in her diet.
I've kept her litter super clean and her space tidy. I've even kept to a routine so she will understand I'm not the enemy.
I sit in the room and watch my ipad or play on my phone just to be in 'her' space.
I guess what I'm wanting help with is how long do I do this for? I've never had a cat and have tried my very best to help her, however; at this point, having a cat that hides from me isn't a great companion (please don't be judgmental of this comment).
Any tips or tricks or advice would be most appreciated. I'm lost and just hope she comes out.
At this point I'm wondering if it's the bright lights of the room that freak her out. I might have to get a lamp that is more subtle.
Help! :(
 

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Are you talking to her when you're in the same room, or just sitting quietly? She need to get used to the sound of your voice as well as your presence.

I would talk to her in a low calm voice, even it's just reading aloud or giving her a play-by-play description of the game you're playing on your phone.
 
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OrnamentGirl75

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Are you talking to her when you're in the same room, or just sitting quietly? She need to get used to the sound of your voice as well as your presence.

I would talk to her in a low calm voice, even it's just reading aloud or giving her a play-by-play description of the game you're playing on your phone.
Hi! Yes, I'm talking to her softly and going about my business, plus I play the movie app on my ipad to get her used to normal sounds. When I pet her I talk softly also. Always trying everything to get her out of hiding without pushing her.
 

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Hi!
(You'll find this site to be very non-judgemental :) )

For someone who's never had a cat, you sound extremely observant and sensitive.

She needs more time. There's no way for you to know what her previous experiences are, and she's still working things out. And speaking of, you have all the time in the world now that she's with you.

She will come around, maybe even seemingly abruptly. Just keep doing what you're doing - she can tell you're a wonderful human being.

Try some music - classical harp music, the app RelaxMyCat (unless that's what you meant just above?)

Maybe these will help:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
 

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Once I removed part of the bed so she couldn't hide under it,she started sleeping on top of the bed or bureau. It took my cat much longer than 5 weeks to come out on her own. Most cats love to be brushed so I keep one in my bedroom and living room. Your cat will eventually come around. Just keep being a loving mother. She is lucky to have you
 
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OrnamentGirl75

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Hi!
(You'll find this site to be very non-judgemental :) )

For someone who's never had a cat, you sound extremely observant and sensitive.

She needs more time. There's no way for you to know what her previous experiences are, and she's still working things out. And speaking of, you have all the time in the world now that she's with you.

She will come around, maybe even seemingly abruptly. Just keep doing what you're doing - she can tell you're a wonderful human being.

Try some music - classical harp music, the app RelaxMyCat (unless that's what you meant just above?)

Maybe these will help:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
Hi and thank you. I appreciate the kind words. I'm trying my hardest. I put a lamp in her room and played some classical music on my iPad for her. Its relaxing now. Better than a bright light. Lol
Problem is I don't have all the time. We are reevaluating Dec 1 to see what progress she has made. The shelter is working with me and has even pushed her spay into the new year so we don't regress.
Thank you again. I'll keep trying.
 
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OrnamentGirl75

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Try catnip some cats can't resist this!
Thank you. I will. Her scratch thing on the floor has some in it and she doesnt use it but maybe if I get a toy and put some in it or something. I appreciate your help. Thank you.
 
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OrnamentGirl75

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Once I removed part of the bed so she couldn't hide under it,she started sleeping on top of the bed or bureau. It took my cat much longer than 5 weeks to come out on her own. Most cats love to be brushed so I keep one in my bedroom and living room. Your cat will eventually come around. Just keep being a loving mother. She is lucky to have you
Thank you. I appreciate the kind words and help. I'll try to keep being patient. Dogs are so different and I've only ever had dogs...but no kids or animals here other than the kitty.
 

inkysmom

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I just put loose catnip down and let them roll in it and get high. Some of them eat it some just roll and get silly. Some don't feel anything. Some get angry and aggressive. I've seen every kind of reaction over the years.
If she's having trouble bonding to you after five or six weeks, what does the shelter think will improve by moving her? A cage in the shelter will send her backwards and another foster home will traumatize her from a move and new people and new environment.
I bonded fast with an adult feral cat by keeping him in a small bathroom for weeks. I had to, he was sick and I had to give him two insulin injections and multiple medications twice a day so hiding wasn't an option for him. Prior to that he'd lived in my apartment for ten years wild with my dog and other cats. He got along fine with them but I couldn't touch him or he'd attack me and draw blood.
Being in the small room with me handling him and bringing him food and water every day sped up our bonding and he went from being feral and aggressive to loving and cuddly. He sought out affection and belly rubs and slept on my head or curled against my side with his paws wrapped around my arm and hand. Purring and drooling frantically at being petted and held.
Try decreasing the space she's in and taking away all hiding areas so she has to interact with you daily. Try massaging her lightly to see where her favorite spots are. Catnip and treats also help.
 
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OrnamentGirl75

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Hi and thank you for the tips. I will try some of these things. I may have not explained myself well with regards to the shelter. They are willing to work with me, but have left it up to me to decide how long or if I think she will come around. In all fairness, like I said in my first post, I can't have a pet that hides forever or there really is no use to have one, however I'm really trying my best with this girl. We shall see what the future holds. After playing music tonight I had opened the door to get something and she was a foot from the futon and froze. Lol Normally she would scurry off. I said hello to her and closed the door. Didnt make a big deal but maybe she will see I'm not a threat.
 

inkysmom

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I had an abandoned stray cat for ten and a half years that let me handle and pet him. Would eat treats from me, I could medicate him, etc. Not wild. He had pneumonia when I trapped and saved him and barely survived was four and a half and had cigarette burn marks on his nose so someone abused him. He was very bonded to my feral Inky. Beautiful light cream tabby with gorgeous blue eyes. He and inky were unneutered males at two and four years old who used to always cuddle together outside. I took them both and neutered them. Neither ever sprayed once.
I could pet and handle that cat but he always hid and was afraid of people. My other dominant cats used to bully him too. Inky was his best friend. He never sought out human affection. Once I picked him up and scared him and he bit me hard and left a deep wound.
He always hid behind the furniture but I could find him and give him treats.
I kept him for ten years because the shelters said they'd euthanize him and he deserved to live a comfortable life with his best buddy and no abuse or fear and peace.
I gave him a peaceful end and vet care when he got sick and it was liver cancer and was with him when he was euthanized from cancer.
Pets are a lifetime commitment. If they're hiding we just haven't found the key to earning their trust yet.
It took me ten years to bond with Inky. His two cat soulmates, Mandy and Fawn also both died in the two months before and he got sick and was more vulnerable from his grief and from sickness. I was more determined because I had to tame him to save his life.
I wish I'd bonded with him sooner but the two years I had with him as a loving pet taught me a lot and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, human or animal. If you give up on a cat after a few weeks you might miss what you were meant to learn and the cat might be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.
 
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OrnamentGirl75

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I had an abandoned stray cat for ten and a half years that let me handle and pet him. Would eat treats from me, I could medicate him, etc. Not wild. He had pneumonia when I trapped and saved him and barely survived was four and a half and had cigarette burn marks on his nose so someone abused him. He was very bonded to my feral Inky. Beautiful light cream tabby with gorgeous blue eyes. He and inky were unneutered males at two and four years old who used to always cuddle together outside. I took them both and neutered them. Neither ever sprayed once.
I could pet and handle that cat but he always hid and was afraid of people. My other dominant cats used to bully him too. Inky was his best friend. He never sought out human affection. Once I picked him up and scared him and he bit me hard and left a deep wound.
He always hid behind the furniture but I could find him and give him treats.
I kept him for ten years because the shelters said they'd euthanize him and he deserved to live a comfortable life with his best buddy and no abuse or fear and peace.
I gave him a peaceful end and vet care when he got sick and it was liver cancer and was with him when he was euthanized from cancer.
Pets are a lifetime commitment. If they're hiding we just haven't found the key to earning their trust yet.
It took me ten years to bond with Inky. His two cat soulmates, Mandy and Fawn also both died in the two months before and he got sick and was more vulnerable from his grief and from sickness. I was more determined because I had to tame him to save his life.
I wish I'd bonded with him sooner but the two years I had with him as a loving pet taught me a lot and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, human or animal. If you give up on a cat after a few weeks you might miss what you were meant to learn and the cat might be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.
I had an abandoned stray cat for ten and a half years that let me handle and pet him. Would eat treats from me, I could medicate him, etc. Not wild. He had pneumonia when I trapped and saved him and barely survived was four and a half and had cigarette burn marks on his nose so someone abused him. He was very bonded to my feral Inky. Beautiful light cream tabby with gorgeous blue eyes. He and inky were unneutered males at two and four years old who used to always cuddle together outside. I took them both and neutered them. Neither ever sprayed once.
I could pet and handle that cat but he always hid and was afraid of people. My other dominant cats used to bully him too. Inky was his best friend. He never sought out human affection. Once I picked him up and scared him and he bit me hard and left a deep wound.
He always hid behind the furniture but I could find him and give him treats.
I kept him for ten years because the shelters said they'd euthanize him and he deserved to live a comfortable life with his best buddy and no abuse or fear and peace.
I gave him a peaceful end and vet care when he got sick and it was liver cancer and was with him when he was euthanized from cancer.
Pets are a lifetime commitment. If they're hiding we just haven't found the key to earning their trust yet.
It took me ten years to bond with Inky. His two cat soulmates, Mandy and Fawn also both died in the two months before and he got sick and was more vulnerable from his grief and from sickness. I was more determined because I had to tame him to save his life.
I wish I'd bonded with him sooner but the two years I had with him as a loving pet taught me a lot and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, human or animal. If you give up on a cat after a few weeks you might miss what you were meant to learn and the cat might be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.
I had an abandoned stray cat for ten and a half years that let me handle and pet him. Would eat treats from me, I could medicate him, etc. Not wild. He had pneumonia when I trapped and saved him and barely survived was four and a half and had cigarette burn marks on his nose so someone abused him. He was very bonded to my feral Inky. Beautiful light cream tabby with gorgeous blue eyes. He and inky were unneutered males at two and four years old who used to always cuddle together outside. I took them both and neutered them. Neither ever sprayed once.
I could pet and handle that cat but he always hid and was afraid of people. My other dominant cats used to bully him too. Inky was his best friend. He never sought out human affection. Once I picked him up and scared him and he bit me hard and left a deep wound.
He always hid behind the furniture but I could find him and give him treats.
I kept him for ten years because the shelters said they'd euthanize him and he deserved to live a comfortable life with his best buddy and no abuse or fear and peace.
I gave him a peaceful end and vet care when he got sick and it was liver cancer and was with him when he was euthanized from cancer.
Pets are a lifetime commitment. If they're hiding we just haven't found the key to earning their trust yet.
It took me ten years to bond with Inky. His two cat soulmates, Mandy and Fawn also both died in the two months before and he got sick and was more vulnerable from his grief and from sickness. I was more determined because I had to tame him to save his life.
I wish I'd bonded with him sooner but the two years I had with him as a loving pet taught me a lot and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, human or animal. If you give up on a cat after a few weeks you might miss what you were meant to learn and the cat might be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.
I had an abandoned stray cat for ten and a half years that let me handle and pet him. Would eat treats from me, I could medicate him, etc. Not wild. He had pneumonia when I trapped and saved him and barely survived was four and a half and had cigarette burn marks on his nose so someone abused him. He was very bonded to my feral Inky. Beautiful light cream tabby with gorgeous blue eyes. He and inky were unneutered males at two and four years old who used to always cuddle together outside. I took them both and neutered them. Neither ever sprayed once.
I could pet and handle that cat but he always hid and was afraid of people. My other dominant cats used to bully him too. Inky was his best friend. He never sought out human affection. Once I picked him up and scared him and he bit me hard and left a deep wound.
He always hid behind the furniture but I could find him and give him treats.
I kept him for ten years because the shelters said they'd euthanize him and he deserved to live a comfortable life with his best buddy and no abuse or fear and peace.
I gave him a peaceful end and vet care when he got sick and it was liver cancer and was with him when he was euthanized from cancer.
Pets are a lifetime commitment. If they're hiding we just haven't found the key to earning their trust yet.
It took me ten years to bond with Inky. His two cat soulmates, Mandy and Fawn also both died in the two months before and he got sick and was more vulnerable from his grief and from sickness. I was more determined because I had to tame him to save his life.
I wish I'd bonded with him sooner but the two years I had with him as a loving pet taught me a lot and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, human or animal. If you give up on a cat after a few weeks you might miss what you were meant to learn and the cat might be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.
I had an abandoned stray cat for ten and a half years that let me handle and pet him. Would eat treats from me, I could medicate him, etc. Not wild. He had pneumonia when I trapped and saved him and barely survived was four and a half and had cigarette burn marks on his nose so someone abused him. He was very bonded to my feral Inky. Beautiful light cream tabby with gorgeous blue eyes. He and inky were unneutered males at two and four years old who used to always cuddle together outside. I took them both and neutered them. Neither ever sprayed once.
I could pet and handle that cat but he always hid and was afraid of people. My other dominant cats used to bully him too. Inky was his best friend. He never sought out human affection. Once I picked him up and scared him and he bit me hard and left a deep wound.
He always hid behind the furniture but I could find him and give him treats.
I kept him for ten years because the shelters said they'd euthanize him and he deserved to live a comfortable life with his best buddy and no abuse or fear and peace.
I gave him a peaceful end and vet care when he got sick and it was liver cancer and was with him when he was euthanized from cancer.
Pets are a lifetime commitment. If they're hiding we just haven't found the key to earning their trust yet.
It took me ten years to bond with Inky. His two cat soulmates, Mandy and Fawn also both died in the two months before and he got sick and was more vulnerable from his grief and from sickness. I was more determined because I had to tame him to save his life.
I wish I'd bonded with him sooner but the two years I had with him as a loving pet taught me a lot and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, human or animal. If you give up on a cat after a few weeks you might miss what you were meant to learn and the cat might be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.
Tiny steps, but any forward progress is HUGE!!
I had an abandoned stray cat for ten and a half years that let me handle and pet him. Would eat treats from me, I could medicate him, etc. Not wild. He had pneumonia when I trapped and saved him and barely survived was four and a half and had cigarette burn marks on his nose so someone abused him. He was very bonded to my feral Inky. Beautiful light cream tabby with gorgeous blue eyes. He and inky were unneutered males at two and four years old who used to always cuddle together outside. I took them both and neutered them. Neither ever sprayed once.
I could pet and handle that cat but he always hid and was afraid of people. My other dominant cats used to bully him too. Inky was his best friend. He never sought out human affection. Once I picked him up and scared him and he bit me hard and left a deep wound.
He always hid behind the furniture but I could find him and give him treats.
I kept him for ten years because the shelters said they'd euthanize him and he deserved to live a comfortable life with his best buddy and no abuse or fear and peace.
I gave him a peaceful end and vet care when he got sick and it was liver cancer and was with him when he was euthanized from cancer.
Pets are a lifetime commitment. If they're hiding we just haven't found the key to earning their trust yet.
It took me ten years to bond with Inky. His two cat soulmates, Mandy and Fawn also both died in the two months before and he got sick and was more vulnerable from his grief and from sickness. I was more determined because I had to tame him to save his life.
I wish I'd bonded with him sooner but the two years I had with him as a loving pet taught me a lot and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, human or animal. If you give up on a cat after a few weeks you might miss what you were meant to learn and the cat might be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.
Thank you for commenting. I appreciate your concern however the shelter wont euthanize her. She could be more suited to a heated barn if we can't get her to come around. Like I said, everyone is different. Happy for you that you could have a pet that didnt come around, but I can't. This is why I'm on this site. For help.
 

inkysmom

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It sounds like she's starting to come around. Giving up on her now would set her back many steps on any future trust with any humans. It takes time and patience.

Speeding up the bonding would involve removing all places she can hide, like I did with my Inky by keeping him in the bathroom for weeks. I had to medicate him severss times a day and it was an emergency Heth situation. It worked. If I had done that wihy Fawn maybe it would have worked too. But I didn't want to add any more trauma to his life and I had plenty of other possessive affectionate cats who would have bullied him for getting near me.
When he was sick I did put him in his own room and had no problems medicating, feeding, patting and giving subcutaneous fluids.
He was perfectly tame just always fearful. My other dominant bullying cats didn't help and probably made him worse.
Barn cats tend to have short lives as they usually get eaten by coyotes and Fisher cats or hit by cars. Cats that are fine living indoors don't survive long in that life. I've owned and boarded horses for over twenty five years now at many different places in different areas as my jobs and commutes have changed. I've never seen a barn cat last more than a year or maybe two or three at the more careful places that lock them up at night.
 
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OrnamentGirl75

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Once I removed part of the bed so she couldn't hide under it,she started sleeping on top of the bed or bureau. It took my cat much longer than 5 weeks to come out on her own. Most cats love to be brushed so I keep one in my bedroom and living room. Your cat will eventually come around. Just keep being a loving mother. She is lucky to have you
Thank you for the kind comments. I'll try a brush for sure as shes letting me pet her more now.
 
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OrnamentGirl75

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Hi!
(You'll find this site to be very non-judgemental :) )

For someone who's never had a cat, you sound extremely observant and sensitive.

She needs more time. There's no way for you to know what her previous experiences are, and she's still working things out. And speaking of, you have all the time in the world now that she's with you.

She will come around, maybe even seemingly abruptly. Just keep doing what you're doing - she can tell you're a wonderful human being.

Try some music - classical harp music, the app RelaxMyCat (unless that's what you meant just above?)

Maybe these will help:

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
I got calm my cat and it seems to be really helping. Thank you!
 
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