Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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Sorry it took me so long to reply I'm still quite quite busy.

I would love for her to come down and join the play with him, though highly unlikely unfortunately. She may be interested (more on that later), but I think she's still too cautious around him. She also isn't very playful and has a completely different style of play and likes different toys than he does. When she wants to play she will let me know and she typically likes to play with strings and chew on them and sometimes she likes to chase balls but she doesn't really play with them. Fluffy on the other hand loves to chase toys and then tackle them, roll around while playing with them etc.

She's still coming to the stairs but typically will just sit at the top and stare, either at me, or at Fluffy which is making me think she maybe wants to come down but is still too cautious. The reason I say she may be slightly wanting to play but is cautious on top of that, is last night, a new cat came right up to the front window. Sapphire wasn't scared at all and seemed interested in the cat and was even gently pawing at the window as if she wanted to interact with the cat outside (which was also right up at the window).

To answer your final question, I am doing alright I think. Work is still stressful and the majority of the time at home, I'm paying attention to the cats trying to keep them happy. The catio does help if it's keeping one of them occupied. My main form is stress from them is trying to keep them both happy. For example, I get quite upset when I have to put Fluffy back in his room when I'm going to work, etc, or when I see Sapphire seemingly wanting to come downstairs but isn't, and then she just stays upstairs even longer. The upcoming vacation is also causing some stress.

Here are some pictures of Sapphire at the top of the stairs and after she came down for a treat while Fluffy was on the catio, and a video I took where Fluffy is being quite good for once.

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"Sorry it took me so long to reply I'm still quite quite busy." - Not an issue understandable.

"I would love for her to come down and join the play with him, though highly unlikely unfortunately." - For now

" She may be interested (more on that later), but I think she's still too cautious around him." - Yes

" She also isn't very playful and has a completely different style of play and likes different toys than he does." - Yes, that is often the case.

"When she wants to play she will let me know and she typically likes to play with strings and chew on them and sometimes she likes to chase balls but she doesn't really play with them." - Yes

"Fluffy on the other hand loves to chase toys and then tackle them, roll around while playing with them etc." - Hahahaha SO CUTE!!!

"She's still coming to the stairs but typically will just sit at the top and stare, either at me, or at Fluffy which is making me think she maybe wants to come down but is still too cautious." - Agreed BUT a great sign!!

" The reason I say she may be slightly wanting to play but is cautious on top of that, is last night, a new cat came right up to the front window. Sapphire wasn't scared at all and seemed interested in the cat and was even gently pawing at the window as if she wanted to interact with the cat outside (which was also right up at the window)." - WOW!!! She handled that VERY WELL!!!

"To answer your final question, I am doing alright I think." - Ok, great!!!

" Work is still stressful" - Yes :/

" and the majority of the time at home, I'm paying attention to the cats trying to keep them happy." - Ok. I do want you to not worry as much about them and do more things for yourself. Cats reflect us so the more comfortable you are the more they should be.

"The catio does help if it's keeping one of them occupied." - TOTALLY!!!

" My main form is stress from them is trying to keep them both happy." - Well, they are happy. And the more happy you are the more they will be. We often want perfection but as long as they are doing well (and they are) you are doing great. Sometimes too much focus can be counterproductive. And the power of love whether directly or indirectly is VERY powerful. And you love them, no doubt.

" For example, I get quite upset when I have to put Fluffy back in his room when I'm going to work, etc," - Ok, but you shouldn't. It sounds like Fluffy is fine with it so you should be. Cats are much more resilient then we think AND they will show it if they aren't (which I am not seeing any signs).

" or when I see Sapphire seemingly wanting to come downstairs but isn't, and then she just stays upstairs even longer." - Yes but we need her to get overt her fears. You are doing all you can do.

" The upcoming vacation is also causing some stress." - I can imagine. :/ Kinda bad when something good can cause us stress. But often it does. I know leaving work is a source of that stress but the cats should not be.

"Here are some pictures of Sapphire at the top of the stairs and after she came down for a treat while Fluffy was on the catio," - I just love her, she is so gorgeous!!! She looks GREAT in the pics!!!

" and a video I took where Fluffy is being quite good for once. " - Hahahahaha, let's see.

Video - WOW!!!! That is the BEST video I have seen of them!!! Sapphire!!!! PERFECT!!!! Body language, etc. She has made serious progress!!! And Fluffy. He is so sweet, so adorable. He loves her. He so wants to be with her. The pawing underneath the gate, the going on his side. Trying to peak through the rails. His body language is perfect. He is going to win her over!!! I am totally convinced of that!!

Wow, I am blown away by how great that video was!!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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"Sorry it took me so long to reply I'm still quite quite busy." - Not an issue understandable.

"I would love for her to come down and join the play with him, though highly unlikely unfortunately." - For now

" She may be interested (more on that later), but I think she's still too cautious around him." - Yes

" She also isn't very playful and has a completely different style of play and likes different toys than he does." - Yes, that is often the case.

"When she wants to play she will let me know and she typically likes to play with strings and chew on them and sometimes she likes to chase balls but she doesn't really play with them." - Yes

"Fluffy on the other hand loves to chase toys and then tackle them, roll around while playing with them etc." - Hahahaha SO CUTE!!!

"She's still coming to the stairs but typically will just sit at the top and stare, either at me, or at Fluffy which is making me think she maybe wants to come down but is still too cautious." - Agreed BUT a great sign!!

" The reason I say she may be slightly wanting to play but is cautious on top of that, is last night, a new cat came right up to the front window. Sapphire wasn't scared at all and seemed interested in the cat and was even gently pawing at the window as if she wanted to interact with the cat outside (which was also right up at the window)." - WOW!!! She handled that VERY WELL!!!

"To answer your final question, I am doing alright I think." - Ok, great!!!

" Work is still stressful" - Yes :/

" and the majority of the time at home, I'm paying attention to the cats trying to keep them happy." - Ok. I do want you to not worry as much about them and do more things for yourself. Cats reflect us so the more comfortable you are the more they should be.

"The catio does help if it's keeping one of them occupied." - TOTALLY!!!

" My main form is stress from them is trying to keep them both happy." - Well, they are happy. And the more happy you are the more they will be. We often want perfection but as long as they are doing well (and they are) you are doing great. Sometimes too much focus can be counterproductive. And the power of love whether directly or indirectly is VERY powerful. And you love them, no doubt.

" For example, I get quite upset when I have to put Fluffy back in his room when I'm going to work, etc," - Ok, but you shouldn't. It sounds like Fluffy is fine with it so you should be. Cats are much more resilient then we think AND they will show it if they aren't (which I am not seeing any signs).

" or when I see Sapphire seemingly wanting to come downstairs but isn't, and then she just stays upstairs even longer." - Yes but we need her to get overt her fears. You are doing all you can do.

" The upcoming vacation is also causing some stress." - I can imagine. :/ Kinda bad when something good can cause us stress. But often it does. I know leaving work is a source of that stress but the cats should not be.

"Here are some pictures of Sapphire at the top of the stairs and after she came down for a treat while Fluffy was on the catio," - I just love her, she is so gorgeous!!! She looks GREAT in the pics!!!

" and a video I took where Fluffy is being quite good for once. " - Hahahahaha, let's see.

Video - WOW!!!! That is the BEST video I have seen of them!!! Sapphire!!!! PERFECT!!!! Body language, etc. She has made serious progress!!! And Fluffy. He is so sweet, so adorable. He loves her. He so wants to be with her. The pawing underneath the gate, the going on his side. Trying to peak through the rails. His body language is perfect. He is going to win her over!!! I am totally convinced of that!!

Wow, I am blown away by how great that video was!!!! :)
Fluffy is such a good boy. He's been staying somewhat calm but he does still get a bit excited. There's been a lot of pawing through the stairs and Sapphire hasn't been running away as much. She usually just sits there and growls at him haha.

One evening last week I took the gate down while Fluffy was in the catio and she came downstairs. Eventually Fluffy did come over and I was able to give them a few treats before Sapphire went back upstairs slowly.

I'm currently out of province for work so my fiance is looking after them and last night Sapphire jumped over the baby gate again (Fluffy was in the kitchen so nothing came of it). She's getting braver, at least until he jumps on her next.

Next week is the vacation and I'm still a bit worried about leaving them with my mom for four days. Fluffy should be fine as he loves my mom, but Sapphire isn't the biggest fan of her (or anyone for that matter). Hopefully the trip doesn't affect her too much and I'm hoping she'll warm up to my mom a bit.
 

calicosrspecial

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Fluffy is such a good boy. He's been staying somewhat calm but he does still get a bit excited. There's been a lot of pawing through the stairs and Sapphire hasn't been running away as much. She usually just sits there and growls at him haha.

One evening last week I took the gate down while Fluffy was in the catio and she came downstairs. Eventually Fluffy did come over and I was able to give them a few treats before Sapphire went back upstairs slowly.

I'm currently out of province for work so my fiance is looking after them and last night Sapphire jumped over the baby gate again (Fluffy was in the kitchen so nothing came of it). She's getting braver, at least until he jumps on her next.

Next week is the vacation and I'm still a bit worried about leaving them with my mom for four days. Fluffy should be fine as he loves my mom, but Sapphire isn't the biggest fan of her (or anyone for that matter). Hopefully the trip doesn't affect her too much and I'm hoping she'll warm up to my mom a bit.
"Fluffy is such a good boy." - In the video he was AMAZING!!!

" He's been staying somewhat calm" - GREAT!!!

" but he does still get a bit excited." - OF COURSE!!! He is a normal, healthy, happy cat!!!

" There's been a lot of pawing through the stairs and Sapphire hasn't been running away as much." - I LOVE she is not running as much!!!

" She usually just sits there and growls at him haha." - Hahahahaha, yep.

"One evening last week I took the gate down while Fluffy was in the catio and she came downstairs. Eventually Fluffy did come over and I was able to give them a few treats before Sapphire went back upstairs slowly." - WOW!!! THAT is HUGE PROGRESS!!!! :)

"I'm currently out of province for work so my fiance is looking after them and last night Sapphire jumped over the baby gate again (Fluffy was in the kitchen so nothing came of it). She's getting braver, at least until he jumps on her next." - WOW!!!! Maybe he are there??

And as she acts (and is) more confident that will help Fluffy think twice about playing too rough.

"Next week is the vacation" - GREAT!!!

" and I'm still a bit worried about leaving them with my mom for four days." - Well, worrying will not get us anywhere. Doesn;t help you, doesn't help them. Just have your mom treat them well, food, safe love, etc.

" Fluffy should be fine as he loves my mom," - Awwwwwwwwww GREAT!!!

" but Sapphire isn't the biggest fan of her (or anyone for that matter)." - Except you ;) But she will be fine.

" Hopefully the trip doesn't affect her too much and I'm hoping she'll warm up to my mom a bit. " - I think she should be fine and we'll deal with how she is.

I get a sense we are crossing that line of irrational fear. I am SO PROUD of her!!!!

I still would like to consider shelving so she can go around the room above it all IF she chooses. Something to think about.

But wow, they are doing great!!!

GREAT JOB!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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"Fluffy is such a good boy." - In the video he was AMAZING!!!

" He's been staying somewhat calm" - GREAT!!!

" but he does still get a bit excited." - OF COURSE!!! He is a normal, healthy, happy cat!!!

" There's been a lot of pawing through the stairs and Sapphire hasn't been running away as much." - I LOVE she is not running as much!!!

" She usually just sits there and growls at him haha." - Hahahahaha, yep.

"One evening last week I took the gate down while Fluffy was in the catio and she came downstairs. Eventually Fluffy did come over and I was able to give them a few treats before Sapphire went back upstairs slowly." - WOW!!! THAT is HUGE PROGRESS!!!! :)

"I'm currently out of province for work so my fiance is looking after them and last night Sapphire jumped over the baby gate again (Fluffy was in the kitchen so nothing came of it). She's getting braver, at least until he jumps on her next." - WOW!!!! Maybe he are there??

And as she acts (and is) more confident that will help Fluffy think twice about playing too rough.

"Next week is the vacation" - GREAT!!!

" and I'm still a bit worried about leaving them with my mom for four days." - Well, worrying will not get us anywhere. Doesn;t help you, doesn't help them. Just have your mom treat them well, food, safe love, etc.

" Fluffy should be fine as he loves my mom," - Awwwwwwwwww GREAT!!!

" but Sapphire isn't the biggest fan of her (or anyone for that matter)." - Except you ;) But she will be fine.

" Hopefully the trip doesn't affect her too much and I'm hoping she'll warm up to my mom a bit. " - I think she should be fine and we'll deal with how she is.

I get a sense we are crossing that line of irrational fear. I am SO PROUD of her!!!!

I still would like to consider shelving so she can go around the room above it all IF she chooses. Something to think about.

But wow, they are doing great!!!

GREAT JOB!!! :)
I just wanted to jump in and say that I'm back from vacation and everyone seems to be doing well. My mom told me that Sapphire pretty much stayed in her room the whole time I was gone but now that I'm back she's back to her normal self.

Nothing else has really changed too much. Things have been going fairly normal all weekend. Sapphire still comes and sits at the top of the stairs multiple times to watch Fluffy while he's out downstairs. There was an instance yesterday morning where she did come down further and Fluffy was trying to rapidly paw at her through the stairs and she got afraid and ran upstairs to hide/nap underneath a clothes rack. Since then she hasn't really come to the stairs while he's out. Other than that everything seems to be okay.
 

calicosrspecial

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I just wanted to jump in and say that I'm back from vacation and everyone seems to be doing well. My mom told me that Sapphire pretty much stayed in her room the whole time I was gone but now that I'm back she's back to her normal self.

Nothing else has really changed too much. Things have been going fairly normal all weekend. Sapphire still comes and sits at the top of the stairs multiple times to watch Fluffy while he's out downstairs. There was an instance yesterday morning where she did come down further and Fluffy was trying to rapidly paw at her through the stairs and she got afraid and ran upstairs to hide/nap underneath a clothes rack. Since then she hasn't really come to the stairs while he's out. Other than that everything seems to be okay.
"I just wanted to jump in and say that I'm back from vacation" - Welcome back. I hope you got to relax and have a great time.

"and everyone seems to be doing well." - GREAT!!!

" My mom told me that Sapphire pretty much stayed in her room the whole time I was gone" - Ok. As long as nothing bad happened that is fine.

" but now that I'm back she's back to her normal self." - GREAT!!

"Nothing else has really changed too much. Things have been going fairly normal all weekend." - GREAT!!!

" Sapphire still comes and sits at the top of the stairs multiple times to watch Fluffy while he's out downstairs." - Excellent

" There was an instance yesterday morning where she did come down further and Fluffy was trying to rapidly paw at her through the stairs and she got afraid and ran upstairs to hide/nap underneath a clothes rack." - Ok, as long as nothing negative happened it is a fear that goes unrealized which is great.

" Since then she hasn't really come to the stairs while he's out." - Ok. Let's watch but I am not worried. Sapphire being Sapphire most likely. No reason for her to be afraid.

"Other than that everything seems to be okay. " - GREAT!!!

Sounds like the vacation went fine.

Excellent news!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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"I just wanted to jump in and say that I'm back from vacation" - Welcome back. I hope you got to relax and have a great time.

"and everyone seems to be doing well." - GREAT!!!

" My mom told me that Sapphire pretty much stayed in her room the whole time I was gone" - Ok. As long as nothing bad happened that is fine.

" but now that I'm back she's back to her normal self." - GREAT!!

"Nothing else has really changed too much. Things have been going fairly normal all weekend." - GREAT!!!

" Sapphire still comes and sits at the top of the stairs multiple times to watch Fluffy while he's out downstairs." - Excellent

" There was an instance yesterday morning where she did come down further and Fluffy was trying to rapidly paw at her through the stairs and she got afraid and ran upstairs to hide/nap underneath a clothes rack." - Ok, as long as nothing negative happened it is a fear that goes unrealized which is great.

" Since then she hasn't really come to the stairs while he's out." - Ok. Let's watch but I am not worried. Sapphire being Sapphire most likely. No reason for her to be afraid.

"Other than that everything seems to be okay. " - GREAT!!!

Sounds like the vacation went fine.

Excellent news!!! :)
Sorry for the long period between responses! I had a busy week coming back from vacation and then I had to travel again for a week for work.

Nothing has overly changed too much but there haven't been any major issues at all between Fluffy and Sapphire.

Just a few minor issues still.
1. Sapphire is still inconsistent with coming to see Fluffy. Some days it's every few minutes, others not at all. She still just sits right up at the top and won't come further down unless I place a treat for her.
2. Fluffy is slowly getting better. He gets really excited when he first sees her but after a few minutes he will semi chill out and lay down or sometimes wander off. He will also usually follow me if I leave the room or come to me if I stand up and rub up on my legs.
3. When Sapphire does come down, particularly to the third step up, Fluffy will jump up to see her and she'll growl or hiss at him. Sometimes he will back off for a few seconds, other times, he'll reach his paw through and either try and paw at her or swat at her (I can't really tell). The more she is growling, the more upset Fluffy seems to get. I've seen his ears go to the side slightly when he's jumping up to see her. They don't go back, just to the side and I don't know if it's because he's mad or because he's somewhat stretching up to try and see her.

I think that's pretty much it. I will try and get more videos if I can when I'm not too tired.
 

calicosrspecial

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Sorry for the long period between responses! I had a busy week coming back from vacation and then I had to travel again for a week for work.

Nothing has overly changed too much but there haven't been any major issues at all between Fluffy and Sapphire.

Just a few minor issues still.
1. Sapphire is still inconsistent with coming to see Fluffy. Some days it's every few minutes, others not at all. She still just sits right up at the top and won't come further down unless I place a treat for her.
2. Fluffy is slowly getting better. He gets really excited when he first sees her but after a few minutes he will semi chill out and lay down or sometimes wander off. He will also usually follow me if I leave the room or come to me if I stand up and rub up on my legs.
3. When Sapphire does come down, particularly to the third step up, Fluffy will jump up to see her and she'll growl or hiss at him. Sometimes he will back off for a few seconds, other times, he'll reach his paw through and either try and paw at her or swat at her (I can't really tell). The more she is growling, the more upset Fluffy seems to get. I've seen his ears go to the side slightly when he's jumping up to see her. They don't go back, just to the side and I don't know if it's because he's mad or because he's somewhat stretching up to try and see her.

I think that's pretty much it. I will try and get more videos if I can when I'm not too tired.

I am so sorry for not seeing this earlier. I didn't check because I thought you were busy.

"Sorry for the long period between responses! I had a busy week coming back from vacation and then I had to travel again for a week for work." - It is me who needed to apologize. :(

"Nothing has overly changed too much but there haven't been any major issues at all between Fluffy and Sapphire." - Ok, good. "Any major issues at all". THAT is GREAT!!!

Just a few minor issues still.
"1. Sapphire is still inconsistent with coming to see Fluffy. Some days it's every few minutes, others not at all. She still just sits right up at the top and won't come further down unless I place a treat for her." - Ok, that is fine. She is going at her own pace. She is getting there which is GREAT!!

"2. Fluffy is slowly getting better. He gets really excited when he first sees her but after a few minutes he will semi chill out and lay down or sometimes wander off. " - WOW!!! THAT is MAJOR progress!!!

"He will also usually follow me if I leave the room or come to me if I stand up and rub up on my legs." - GREAT!!! That helps her build trust and confidence as he chooses something other than her.

"3. When Sapphire does come down, particularly to the third step up, Fluffy will jump up to see her and she'll growl or hiss at him. Sometimes he will back off for a few seconds, other times, he'll reach his paw through and either try and paw at her or swat at her (I can't really tell)." - Ok, understandable but if that is as bad as it is that is good.

" The more she is growling, the more upset Fluffy seems to get." - Understandable and normal.

" I've seen his ears go to the side slightly when he's jumping up to see her. They don't go back, just to the side and I don't know if it's because he's mad or because he's somewhat stretching up to try and see her." - That is normal. Of course we don't want it to happen but if that is as "bad" as it gets that is good. Just try to distract him if possible.

"I think that's pretty much it." - Well, that is really great!!! It sounds like we are "co-existing" safely which is great. Sapphire is making progress, I LOVE that he actually will walk away. Keep doing what you are doing.

"I will try and get more videos if I can when I'm not too tired. " - Sounds good!! Just get some rest, enjoy the cats, and have some fun. It sounds like all is going really well. :)

GREAT JOB!!!!
 
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Graham18

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I am so sorry for not seeing this earlier. I didn't check because I thought you were busy.

"Sorry for the long period between responses! I had a busy week coming back from vacation and then I had to travel again for a week for work." - It is me who needed to apologize. :(

"Nothing has overly changed too much but there haven't been any major issues at all between Fluffy and Sapphire." - Ok, good. "Any major issues at all". THAT is GREAT!!!

Just a few minor issues still.
"1. Sapphire is still inconsistent with coming to see Fluffy. Some days it's every few minutes, others not at all. She still just sits right up at the top and won't come further down unless I place a treat for her." - Ok, that is fine. She is going at her own pace. She is getting there which is GREAT!!

"2. Fluffy is slowly getting better. He gets really excited when he first sees her but after a few minutes he will semi chill out and lay down or sometimes wander off. " - WOW!!! THAT is MAJOR progress!!!

"He will also usually follow me if I leave the room or come to me if I stand up and rub up on my legs." - GREAT!!! That helps her build trust and confidence as he chooses something other than her.

"3. When Sapphire does come down, particularly to the third step up, Fluffy will jump up to see her and she'll growl or hiss at him. Sometimes he will back off for a few seconds, other times, he'll reach his paw through and either try and paw at her or swat at her (I can't really tell)." - Ok, understandable but if that is as bad as it is that is good.

" The more she is growling, the more upset Fluffy seems to get." - Understandable and normal.

" I've seen his ears go to the side slightly when he's jumping up to see her. They don't go back, just to the side and I don't know if it's because he's mad or because he's somewhat stretching up to try and see her." - That is normal. Of course we don't want it to happen but if that is as "bad" as it gets that is good. Just try to distract him if possible.

"I think that's pretty much it." - Well, that is really great!!! It sounds like we are "co-existing" safely which is great. Sapphire is making progress, I LOVE that he actually will walk away. Keep doing what you are doing.

"I will try and get more videos if I can when I'm not too tired. " - Sounds good!! Just get some rest, enjoy the cats, and have some fun. It sounds like all is going really well. :)

GREAT JOB!!!!
Absolutely no need to apologize! I've still been quite busy myself (working in retail during back to school season).

I do think they are co-existing somewhat even if they are seperate (Fluffy stays downstairs while Sapphire stays upstairs and still seperate at night and while we're not home). I'm hoping Fluffy calms down more with age.

I took two videos last night as well.
In video 1, Fluffy is actually being quite a brat trying to swat at sapphire and he gets upset at her growling and hisses at her at one point. Video 2 was about 20 minutes later where she comes back, there's some brief swatting and then Sapphire takes off upstairs. After the first video I went upstairs to grab something and Sapphire was quite hyper and playful. After the second video, I could hear her running around upstairs with energy.

 

calicosrspecial

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Absolutely no need to apologize! I've still been quite busy myself (working in retail during back to school season).

I do think they are co-existing somewhat even if they are seperate (Fluffy stays downstairs while Sapphire stays upstairs and still seperate at night and while we're not home). I'm hoping Fluffy calms down more with age.

I took two videos last night as well.
In video 1, Fluffy is actually being quite a brat trying to swat at sapphire and he gets upset at her growling and hisses at her at one point. Video 2 was about 20 minutes later where she comes back, there's some brief swatting and then Sapphire takes off upstairs. After the first video I went upstairs to grab something and Sapphire was quite hyper and playful. After the second video, I could hear her running around upstairs with energy.

Thank you but I do need to apologize.

"I do think they are co-existing somewhat even if they are seperate (Fluffy stays downstairs while Sapphire stays upstairs and still seperate at night and while we're not home)." - I am TOTALLY FINE with that!!! As long as they are happy and safe and getting along it is great. I do think (in time) we will see them mixing more.

"I'm hoping Fluffy calms down more with age." - So so Sapphire and me!!! ;) But seriously, we shall see. I do think it is nice he has a lot of energy, a lot of life in him. I would rather see her accept and trust him more which I do think will happen.

"I took two videos last night as well." - Great. Let's take a look

"In video 1, Fluffy is actually being quite a brat trying to swat at sapphire and he gets upset at her growling and hisses at her at one point. " - Hahahaha, ok.

"Video 2 was about 20 minutes later where she comes back, there's some brief swatting and then Sapphire takes off upstairs. After the first video I went upstairs to grab something and Sapphire was quite hyper and playful. After the second video, I could hear her running around upstairs with energy. " - VERY interesting. Let's see

Video 1 - I am AMAZED at how Sapphire was in this video!!! She is SO MUCH MORE CONFIDENT!!!! This IS AMAZING!!! Fluffy was being a playful, energetic boy!!! He was cute, playful, good, and she reflected that. Distractable. He has no bd intent imo. It is all about play in my eyes. He was really good and I think Sapphire is finally understanding him. She was AMAZING in this video!! I think this is a GREAT video!!!

Video 2 - He is wanting to play. She again is great. Holding her own, getting treats. He is good, distractable. She looks confident and great. He looks playful, confident and great. FANTASTIC!!!

And my goodness are THEY ADORABLE or what?!?!?!?!?!?! They both not only are ADORBEL but SO SWEET!!!

I think the videos are PERFECT!!!! I se nothing but positives. They are just fine.

We just need to get them to mix more which will happen in time. Keep doing what you are doing. At some point let's figure out how to get the gate away.

FANTASTIC!!! I think we did have a major breakthrough. Now we just need to finalize (which I think is more time than anything).

Made my day seeing them like this!!! :)

Keep up the GREAT work!!! :)
 
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Thank you but I do need to apologize.

"I do think they are co-existing somewhat even if they are seperate (Fluffy stays downstairs while Sapphire stays upstairs and still seperate at night and while we're not home)." - I am TOTALLY FINE with that!!! As long as they are happy and safe and getting along it is great. I do think (in time) we will see them mixing more.

"I'm hoping Fluffy calms down more with age." - So so Sapphire and me!!! ;) But seriously, we shall see. I do think it is nice he has a lot of energy, a lot of life in him. I would rather see her accept and trust him more which I do think will happen.

"I took two videos last night as well." - Great. Let's take a look

"In video 1, Fluffy is actually being quite a brat trying to swat at sapphire and he gets upset at her growling and hisses at her at one point. " - Hahahaha, ok.

"Video 2 was about 20 minutes later where she comes back, there's some brief swatting and then Sapphire takes off upstairs. After the first video I went upstairs to grab something and Sapphire was quite hyper and playful. After the second video, I could hear her running around upstairs with energy. " - VERY interesting. Let's see

Video 1 - I am AMAZED at how Sapphire was in this video!!! She is SO MUCH MORE CONFIDENT!!!! This IS AMAZING!!! Fluffy was being a playful, energetic boy!!! He was cute, playful, good, and she reflected that. Distractable. He has no bd intent imo. It is all about play in my eyes. He was really good and I think Sapphire is finally understanding him. She was AMAZING in this video!! I think this is a GREAT video!!!

Video 2 - He is wanting to play. She again is great. Holding her own, getting treats. He is good, distractable. She looks confident and great. He looks playful, confident and great. FANTASTIC!!!

And my goodness are THEY ADORABLE or what?!?!?!?!?!?! They both not only are ADORBEL but SO SWEET!!!

I think the videos are PERFECT!!!! I se nothing but positives. They are just fine.

We just need to get them to mix more which will happen in time. Keep doing what you are doing. At some point let's figure out how to get the gate away.

FANTASTIC!!! I think we did have a major breakthrough. Now we just need to finalize (which I think is more time than anything).

Made my day seeing them like this!!! :)

Keep up the GREAT work!!! :)
They are still doing about the same. No worse no better.

As for the gate, it's mostly just to keep Fluffy from going upstairs when I'm not paying 100% attention. Sapphire does know how to go through the stairs if she really wants to come down, however with that being said I've been trying to leave it down more and more but just in the evenings depending on my energy level and how much attention I want to pay to what Fluffy is doing. In the short period of time in the mornings when Fluffy is out I usually leave it up as I'm not in a position to fully watch him.

I figured that the best thing going forward since there hasn't been any major changes and I'm sure I'm sounding like a broken record by now, is to just try and capture any videos I can. I did take one tonight.

Short descriptor. Fluffy was quite energetic tonight and I actually had the gate down but he was absolutely insistent on going upstairs to find his sister including trying to jump over me while I was sitting at the base of the stairs. You can see the energy in the video for sure. After the video was taken, I went upstairs and Sapphire was quite hyper and wanted to play for a bit and then she wanted to go nap under my bed in a drawer of sweaters (pull out drawers under the bed so she doesn't have permanent access but loves when I open it to let her go in).

And here's the video.
 

calicosrspecial

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They are still doing about the same. No worse no better.

As for the gate, it's mostly just to keep Fluffy from going upstairs when I'm not paying 100% attention. Sapphire does know how to go through the stairs if she really wants to come down, however with that being said I've been trying to leave it down more and more but just in the evenings depending on my energy level and how much attention I want to pay to what Fluffy is doing. In the short period of time in the mornings when Fluffy is out I usually leave it up as I'm not in a position to fully watch him.

I figured that the best thing going forward since there hasn't been any major changes and I'm sure I'm sounding like a broken record by now, is to just try and capture any videos I can. I did take one tonight.

Short descriptor. Fluffy was quite energetic tonight and I actually had the gate down but he was absolutely insistent on going upstairs to find his sister including trying to jump over me while I was sitting at the base of the stairs. You can see the energy in the video for sure. After the video was taken, I went upstairs and Sapphire was quite hyper and wanted to play for a bit and then she wanted to go nap under my bed in a drawer of sweaters (pull out drawers under the bed so she doesn't have permanent access but loves when I open it to let her go in).

And here's the video.
"They are still doing about the same. No worse no better." - Ok, I think it is great. They are doing well and not going backward. That is great.

"As for the gate, it's mostly just to keep Fluffy from going upstairs when I'm not paying 100% attention." - Understandable

" Sapphire does know how to go through the stairs if she really wants to come down," - GREAT!!!!

" however with that being said I've been trying to leave it down more and more" - GREAT!!!

" but just in the evenings depending on my energy level and how much attention I want to pay to what Fluffy is doing." - Understandable and totally fine.

" In the short period of time in the mornings when Fluffy is out I usually leave it up as I'm not in a position to fully watch him." - That is fine.

"I figured that the best thing going forward since there hasn't been any major changes and I'm sure I'm sounding like a broken record by now, is to just try and capture any videos I can. I did take one tonight." - Ok, great. Videos help me see the body language. As they saw a "video is worth a thousand words".

"Short descriptor. Fluffy was quite energetic tonight and I actually had the gate down but he was absolutely insistent on going upstairs to find his sister including trying to jump over me while I was sitting at the base of the stairs." - Awwwwwwwwww

" You can see the energy in the video for sure." - Ok

" After the video was taken, I went upstairs and Sapphire was quite hyper and wanted to play for a bit " - Awwwwwwwwwww, sounds good.

"and then she wanted to go nap under my bed in a drawer of sweaters (pull out drawers under the bed so she doesn't have permanent access but loves when I open it to let her go in). " - Awwwwwwwwww, sounds like it was fine then.

Video - GREAT!!! She looks FANTASTIC in it. He just so wants to play. I LOVE how he responds to you. He is SO ADORABLE!!! As is Sapphire.

We just need that last part. Of them being together and "working it out". We are going to get there. :)

I do want to reduce the amount of treats going forward as well. Just for their longer term health. I think at this point they don't need them since they are doing so well.

Wow, I am really proud of the progress you, Fluffy and Sapphire have made. This is FANTASTIC!!!

We'll figure out that last step and declare TOTAL SUCCESS!!! :)

GREAT job!!!! Are you feeling as good as I am? You should!!!
 
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"They are still doing about the same. No worse no better." - Ok, I think it is great. They are doing well and not going backward. That is great.

"As for the gate, it's mostly just to keep Fluffy from going upstairs when I'm not paying 100% attention." - Understandable

" Sapphire does know how to go through the stairs if she really wants to come down," - GREAT!!!!

" however with that being said I've been trying to leave it down more and more" - GREAT!!!

" but just in the evenings depending on my energy level and how much attention I want to pay to what Fluffy is doing." - Understandable and totally fine.

" In the short period of time in the mornings when Fluffy is out I usually leave it up as I'm not in a position to fully watch him." - That is fine.

"I figured that the best thing going forward since there hasn't been any major changes and I'm sure I'm sounding like a broken record by now, is to just try and capture any videos I can. I did take one tonight." - Ok, great. Videos help me see the body language. As they saw a "video is worth a thousand words".

"Short descriptor. Fluffy was quite energetic tonight and I actually had the gate down but he was absolutely insistent on going upstairs to find his sister including trying to jump over me while I was sitting at the base of the stairs." - Awwwwwwwwww

" You can see the energy in the video for sure." - Ok

" After the video was taken, I went upstairs and Sapphire was quite hyper and wanted to play for a bit " - Awwwwwwwwwww, sounds good.

"and then she wanted to go nap under my bed in a drawer of sweaters (pull out drawers under the bed so she doesn't have permanent access but loves when I open it to let her go in). " - Awwwwwwwwww, sounds like it was fine then.

Video - GREAT!!! She looks FANTASTIC in it. He just so wants to play. I LOVE how he responds to you. He is SO ADORABLE!!! As is Sapphire.

We just need that last part. Of them being together and "working it out". We are going to get there. :)

I do want to reduce the amount of treats going forward as well. Just for their longer term health. I think at this point they don't need them since they are doing so well.

Wow, I am really proud of the progress you, Fluffy and Sapphire have made. This is FANTASTIC!!!

We'll figure out that last step and declare TOTAL SUCCESS!!! :)

GREAT job!!!! Are you feeling as good as I am? You should!!!
I will/have already started to reduce treats for them. I'll still usually give one or two and break them in half. A small treat is the only way Sapphire will usually come down from the top of the stairs if Fluffy is in the room so I want her to see that coming down a bit is positive.

No new videos yet. Last evening, I had the gate down and Fluffy was in the catio by the backdoor and Sapphire cautiously came downstairs on her own. I was sitting on the floor and she came to the bottom of the stairs. She did look a bit scared and when she saw that Fluffys bedroom door was still open, she hissed a little bit and then ran back upstairs to her room and jumped into her bed.
 

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I will/have already started to reduce treats for them. I'll still usually give one or two and break them in half. A small treat is the only way Sapphire will usually come down from the top of the stairs if Fluffy is in the room so I want her to see that coming down a bit is positive.

No new videos yet. Last evening, I had the gate down and Fluffy was in the catio by the backdoor and Sapphire cautiously came downstairs on her own. I was sitting on the floor and she came to the bottom of the stairs. She did look a bit scared and when she saw that Fluffys bedroom door was still open, she hissed a little bit and then ran back upstairs to her room and jumped into her bed.
"I will/have already started to reduce treats for them. I'll still usually give one or two and break them in half." - Great

" A small treat is the only way Sapphire will usually come down from the top of the stairs if Fluffy is in the room so I want her to see that coming down a bit is positive." - Yes, understandable. Remember you are very important to her as well so that is a positive also.

"No new videos yet." - Ok

" Last evening, I had the gate down and Fluffy was in the catio by the backdoor and Sapphire cautiously came downstairs on her own." - GREAT!!!

" I was sitting on the floor and she came to the bottom of the stairs." - Great

" She did look a bit scared and when she saw that Fluffys bedroom door was still open, she hissed a little bit and then ran back upstairs to her room and jumped into her bed. " - Ok, understandable. BUT the fact nothing negative happened is a positive and will build trust.

Overall, I would say last night was positive!!!

We're getting there!!! :)
 
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"I will/have already started to reduce treats for them. I'll still usually give one or two and break them in half." - Great

" A small treat is the only way Sapphire will usually come down from the top of the stairs if Fluffy is in the room so I want her to see that coming down a bit is positive." - Yes, understandable. Remember you are very important to her as well so that is a positive also.

"No new videos yet." - Ok

" Last evening, I had the gate down and Fluffy was in the catio by the backdoor and Sapphire cautiously came downstairs on her own." - GREAT!!!

" I was sitting on the floor and she came to the bottom of the stairs." - Great

" She did look a bit scared and when she saw that Fluffys bedroom door was still open, she hissed a little bit and then ran back upstairs to her room and jumped into her bed. " - Ok, understandable. BUT the fact nothing negative happened is a positive and will build trust.

Overall, I would say last night was positive!!!

We're getting there!!! :)
I thought I had made a new post but I guess it didn't go through.

A small update from last weekend. While leaving the gate down one evening, Sapphire came downstairs while Fluffy was in the catio. She was quite cautious but followed me towards the kitchen and backdoor where the catio was. She peaked around the corner and saw him there (he didn't see her), and turned around and ran back towards the living room. I assumed she had run upstairs but sure enough, she was laying on the couch relaxing. Eventually Fluffy came back to the living room and Sapphire continued to just lay there watching him. I kept Fluffy distracted by throwing some very small treats. He didn't seem overly excited but he was interested and was trying to go to her. After about ten minutes she jumped off the couch to go back upstairs and that's when Fluffy got really excited and his tail started going crazy but there were no incidents and Sapphire calmly went upstairs to her bed.

The only other new thing that took place, was the following evening, Sapphire came and sat at the top of the stairs and started growing her paws to clean her face for a few minutes. Fluffy got extremely excited as he always does when she appears on the stairs and after a minute or two he sat there and started to copy her, licking his paws and then using them to also clean his face.

Besides those two instances, nothing overly exciting has happened. Sapphire will still come down half way for a small treat and they will bay paws through the stairs before she runs back upstairs and starts running around up there playing by herself. I was out of town all week for work and just returned last night so I haven't had the chance to take anymore videos yet.
 

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I thought I had made a new post but I guess it didn't go through.

A small update from last weekend. While leaving the gate down one evening, Sapphire came downstairs while Fluffy was in the catio. She was quite cautious but followed me towards the kitchen and backdoor where the catio was. She peaked around the corner and saw him there (he didn't see her), and turned around and ran back towards the living room. I assumed she had run upstairs but sure enough, she was laying on the couch relaxing. Eventually Fluffy came back to the living room and Sapphire continued to just lay there watching him. I kept Fluffy distracted by throwing some very small treats. He didn't seem overly excited but he was interested and was trying to go to her. After about ten minutes she jumped off the couch to go back upstairs and that's when Fluffy got really excited and his tail started going crazy but there were no incidents and Sapphire calmly went upstairs to her bed.

The only other new thing that took place, was the following evening, Sapphire came and sat at the top of the stairs and started growing her paws to clean her face for a few minutes. Fluffy got extremely excited as he always does when she appears on the stairs and after a minute or two he sat there and started to copy her, licking his paws and then using them to also clean his face.

Besides those two instances, nothing overly exciting has happened. Sapphire will still come down half way for a small treat and they will bay paws through the stairs before she runs back upstairs and starts running around up there playing by herself. I was out of town all week for work and just returned last night so I haven't had the chance to take anymore videos yet.
"A small update from last weekend. While leaving the gate down one evening, Sapphire came downstairs while Fluffy was in the catio. She was quite cautious but followed me towards the kitchen and backdoor where the catio was. She peaked around the corner and saw him there (he didn't see her)," - :yess: :hyper: :lolup:

"and turned around and ran back towards the living room." - Ok, expected.

" I assumed she had run upstairs but sure enough, she was laying on the couch relaxing." - WOW!!!! AMAZING!!!! :yess::hyper::clap2:

"Eventually Fluffy came back to the living room and Sapphire continued to just lay there watching him." - WOW!! I am BLOWN AWAY!!! This is AMAZING!!!

"I kept Fluffy distracted by throwing some very small treats." - Great

" He didn't seem overly excited " - WOW!! THAT is AMAZING!!

"but he was interested and was trying to go to her." - Of course, totally expected

" After about ten minutes she jumped off the couch to go back upstairs" - Ok, that is great

" and that's when Fluffy got really excited and his tail started going crazy" - Yep

" but there were no incidents" - GREAT!! :yess::hyper::clap2:

" and Sapphire calmly went upstairs to her bed." - WOW!!!

"The only other new thing that took place, was the following evening, Sapphire came and sat at the top of the stairs and started growing her paws to clean her face for a few minutes. Fluffy got extremely excited as he always does when she appears on the stairs and after a minute or two he sat there and started to copy her, licking his paws and then using them to also clean his face." - Awwwwwwwwwwwww HOW ADORABLE!!!

"Besides those two instances, nothing overly exciting has happened." - Well I think the previous is hard to top!!! I think we had our "watershed" moment!!! This is a HUGE update!!!

"Sapphire will still come down half way for a small treat and they will bay paws through the stairs before she runs back upstairs and starts running around up there playing by herself." - OK, that is fine. I think she actually wants to play with him.

" I was out of town all week for work and just returned last night so I haven't had the chance to take anymore videos yet." - That is ok.

So when did this all happen? Before you left or after you came back?

I AM SO EXCITED!!!! We had our breakthrough!!!! :cheerleader:

GREAT JOB!!!!
 
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"A small update from last weekend. While leaving the gate down one evening, Sapphire came downstairs while Fluffy was in the catio. She was quite cautious but followed me towards the kitchen and backdoor where the catio was. She peaked around the corner and saw him there (he didn't see her)," - :yess: :hyper: :lolup:

"and turned around and ran back towards the living room." - Ok, expected.

" I assumed she had run upstairs but sure enough, she was laying on the couch relaxing." - WOW!!!! AMAZING!!!! :yess::hyper::clap2:

"Eventually Fluffy came back to the living room and Sapphire continued to just lay there watching him." - WOW!! I am BLOWN AWAY!!! This is AMAZING!!!

"I kept Fluffy distracted by throwing some very small treats." - Great

" He didn't seem overly excited " - WOW!! THAT is AMAZING!!

"but he was interested and was trying to go to her." - Of course, totally expected

" After about ten minutes she jumped off the couch to go back upstairs" - Ok, that is great

" and that's when Fluffy got really excited and his tail started going crazy" - Yep

" but there were no incidents" - GREAT!! :yess::hyper::clap2:

" and Sapphire calmly went upstairs to her bed." - WOW!!!

"The only other new thing that took place, was the following evening, Sapphire came and sat at the top of the stairs and started growing her paws to clean her face for a few minutes. Fluffy got extremely excited as he always does when she appears on the stairs and after a minute or two he sat there and started to copy her, licking his paws and then using them to also clean his face." - Awwwwwwwwwwwww HOW ADORABLE!!!

"Besides those two instances, nothing overly exciting has happened." - Well I think the previous is hard to top!!! I think we had our "watershed" moment!!! This is a HUGE update!!!

"Sapphire will still come down half way for a small treat and they will bay paws through the stairs before she runs back upstairs and starts running around up there playing by herself." - OK, that is fine. I think she actually wants to play with him.

" I was out of town all week for work and just returned last night so I haven't had the chance to take anymore videos yet." - That is ok.

So when did this all happen? Before you left or after you came back?

I AM SO EXCITED!!!! We had our breakthrough!!!! :cheerleader:

GREAT JOB!!!!
Here's a quick video of their pawing I managed to take yesterday. Throughout the day they did this about four times but Sapphire kept coming back after a few minutes each time.

 

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Here's a quick video of their pawing I managed to take yesterday. Throughout the day they did this about four times but Sapphire kept coming back after a few minutes each time.

So, Fluffy's body language is REALLY POSITIVE. He is calm, showing he wants to play, looking way, moving normally, etc. HE SO WANTS TO PLAY!!!

Sapphire is great until he gets a bit rambunctious. Then she paws probably to let him know it is unacceptable. She runs up BUT she looks GREAT upstairs. Calm, confident.

So overall, the encounter is positive in my view.

I think she is getting there. I wonder if the pawing is a lot of "poor social skills" more than fear?

But overall, positive and something I would like not to see but also am not worried by.

I actually think at some point (not sure when) they are going to be good friends. Fluffy is going to win her over I think. :)
 
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So, Fluffy's body language is REALLY POSITIVE. He is calm, showing he wants to play, looking way, moving normally, etc. HE SO WANTS TO PLAY!!!

Sapphire is great until he gets a bit rambunctious. Then she paws probably to let him know it is unacceptable. She runs up BUT she looks GREAT upstairs. Calm, confident.

So overall, the encounter is positive in my view.

I think she is getting there. I wonder if the pawing is a lot of "poor social skills" more than fear?

But overall, positive and something I would like not to see but also am not worried by.

I actually think at some point (not sure when) they are going to be good friends. Fluffy is going to win her over I think. :)
They do this pretty much every day and Sapphire almost always comes back to the stairs. I do have to coax her to come down a bit but it can't be too much of an issue if she keeps coming back. I know it's not ideal, but my thought process is that maybe this is how they will work things out for themselves eventually.

Sapphire has also been getting quite playful after Fluffy tries to paw/swat at her. I will hear her running back and forth upstairs between the rooms and if I go up she usually wants to play for a few minutes.

I have no new ideas but I will see if I can get any over the next few days.
 

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They do this pretty much every day and Sapphire almost always comes back to the stairs. I do have to coax her to come down a bit but it can't be too much of an issue if she keeps coming back. I know it's not ideal, but my thought process is that maybe this is how they will work things out for themselves eventually.

Sapphire has also been getting quite playful after Fluffy tries to paw/swat at her. I will hear her running back and forth upstairs between the rooms and if I go up she usually wants to play for a few minutes.

I have no new ideas but I will see if I can get any over the next few days.
"They do this pretty much every day" - OK

" and Sapphire almost always comes back to the stairs." - That tells me it is more play.

" I do have to coax her to come down a bit but it can't be too much of an issue if she keeps coming back." - EXACTLY!!!

"I know it's not ideal," - It could be a lot worse

" but my thought process is that maybe this is how they will work things out for themselves eventually." - EXACTLY!!! We can only so so much and they need to take it to the end. I am HIGHLY CONFIDENT they will!!! :)

"Sapphire has also been getting quite playful after Fluffy tries to paw/swat at her." - Another positive and a sign it is play.

" I will hear her running back and forth upstairs between the rooms and if I go up she usually wants to play for a few minutes." - Awwwwwww, VERY POSITIVE!!!

"I have no new ideas but I will see if I can get any over the next few days. " - Sounds great!!

Overall, I think it is GREAT!!! Keep up the GREAT work!!!
 
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"They do this pretty much every day" - OK

" and Sapphire almost always comes back to the stairs." - That tells me it is more play.

" I do have to coax her to come down a bit but it can't be too much of an issue if she keeps coming back." - EXACTLY!!!

"I know it's not ideal," - It could be a lot worse

" but my thought process is that maybe this is how they will work things out for themselves eventually." - EXACTLY!!! We can only so so much and they need to take it to the end. I am HIGHLY CONFIDENT they will!!! :)

"Sapphire has also been getting quite playful after Fluffy tries to paw/swat at her." - Another positive and a sign it is play.

" I will hear her running back and forth upstairs between the rooms and if I go up she usually wants to play for a few minutes." - Awwwwwww, VERY POSITIVE!!!

"I have no new ideas but I will see if I can get any over the next few days. " - Sounds great!!

Overall, I think it is GREAT!!! Keep up the GREAT work!!!
I meant to say videos rather than ideas. And I did take a video last night that I think is fine overall.

 
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