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- Mar 14, 2016
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"Hello! Nothing really to update unfortunately." - Ok, as long as there isn't a negative that is good.Hello! Nothing really to update unfortunately.
Sapphire has once again become inconsistent over the weekend. For the most part she has just stayed upstairs in her bed and not come downstairs until after Fluffy has gone to bed. On Saturday night she was up on the window perch again but this time didn't seem too comfortable when Fluffy was out eating and I was sitting with her (there was some irritated meowing and paw raising if I got too close to her). As soon as Fluffy wasn't paying attention she took the opportunity to run upstairs.
She has also briefly been coming to the stairs sometimes in the mornings but she only makes it about half way down and then just sits and stares while Fluffy either watches her or is busy trying to get passed me to run up the stairs towards her.
I have tried to get her to come closer with her favorite treats but she really doesn't seem interested in them until Fluffy isn't paying attention. I brought him upstairs tonight and she completely ignored the treats and was acting very timid. She was perfectly fine downstairs as soon as I put Fluffy in his room.
I believe I'm starting to be hard on myself once again, mainly because I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or not enough of something, and also for the fact that even though I know there's not much I can do, not knowing what to do in the times when they are both together while avoiding a fight. I don't want Fluffy to get close and get in a fight with her where they are all tangled up and rolling around, but I'm having trouble imagining a time when they can be in the same room and doing their own thing without Fluffy being super fixated on her.
Another small bit of information, but lately, Sapphire has been going right up to Fluffy's door after he's gone to bed at some point and she hisses at the door and then starts whacking it, even if he's already asleep.
"Sapphire has once again become inconsistent over the weekend." - Hmmmmm, ok
" For the most part she has just stayed upstairs in her bed and not come downstairs until after Fluffy has gone to bed." - Ok. Is she acting normal when she is upstairs during that?
" On Saturday night she was up on the window perch again but this time didn't seem too comfortable when Fluffy was out eating and I was sitting with her (there was some irritated meowing and paw raising if I got too close to her)." - Ok, as long as nothing negative happened though it is fine.
" As soon as Fluffy wasn't paying attention she took the opportunity to run upstairs." - Ok
"She has also briefly been coming to the stairs sometimes in the mornings but she only makes it about half way down and then just sits and stares while Fluffy either watches her or is busy trying to get passed me to run up the stairs towards her." - Ok, that is great.
"I have tried to get her to come closer with her favorite treats but she really doesn't seem interested in them until Fluffy isn't paying attention." - Ok. Just don't force it, just act aloof. Act like everything is just fine.
" I brought him upstairs tonight and she completely ignored the treats and was acting very timid." - Ok. Odd. How were you feeling? Were you anxious? Different?
"She was perfectly fine downstairs as soon as I put Fluffy in his room." - Great
"I believe I'm starting to be hard on myself once again, " - Oh, ok.
"mainly because I don't know if I'm doing something wrong" - You are definitely not doing anything wrong.
" or not enough of something," - You are doing and have done everything you can.
" and also for the fact that even though I know there's not much I can do, " - Yes, agreed, there is not much more you can do. I guess the one thing I would do is just act like all is well. Be aloof as much as possible. If she doesn't want to come down "whatever". If she doesn't want the treat "oh well". Kinda tough love. I am trying to figure out how to get her to say "ok, enough, I am not going to be afraid anymore".
"not knowing what to do in the times when they are both together" - Just take your focus mostly on something else. Read, or sit there with one of them. Keep an eye on him but try to find that balance of being aloof as well.
" while avoiding a fight." - Yes but I am not sure a real fight will happen. A tussle might but I just don't see him wanting to fight her, eliminate her, etc.
" I don't want Fluffy to get close and get in a fight with her where they are all tangled up and rolling around," - Yes but again there is only so much you can do. She needs to step up.
" but I'm having trouble imagining a time when they can be in the same room and doing their own thing without Fluffy being super fixated on her." - They will. When I am not sure but I do know they are closer to that today then at any other point in time. They may not cuddle together but they will definitely live together in (mostly) peace. In a lot of households there are always dustups etc well after they are intro'd successfully. It is how they get over it that is important. I don't see either wanting to hurt the other. I think Sapphire is starting to trust that as well.
"Another small bit of information, but lately, Sapphire has been going right up to Fluffy's door after he's gone to bed at some point and she hisses at the door and then starts whacking it, even if he's already asleep. " - Hahahaha. Well, I would guess she is trying to teach him "manners" but not confident enough to do it to his face without a barrier. I am sure Fluffy thinks "what is up with her?????".
Well, this isn't perfect BUT it sounds fine to me. She is still trying to get over her "issues", he seems to be doing well (with your help). I would like to see you get more aloof if possible, go about your business more if possible. Since it does sound like everything is ok at the worst I think you have some leeway. If she is downstairs get him to go upstairs with you and hang out. And we'll see what she does. If she is upstairs go upstairs with him but in a room rather than outside her hall. Things like that.
But I think she is on the path, it is winding and slower than we would like but I still think the progress is there. She shows some signs of wanting to play with him though not always so I think at some point we might be surprised.
Hang in there, I know you are exhausted so focus a bit more on yourself and find more enjoyment in them.