Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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I think she's probably not scared because she knows she can run to safety if she needs to. She's also quite a distance from him and she only seems to get scared when he's closer to her. There are so many reasons it could be, though I don't believe it's something outside. A part of me thinks that she's just accepting that Fluffy exists but doesn't want to be near him or is worried that she's going into his territory.

She is happy and still loves to cuddle and play when he's not around and even when she is upstairs while he is downstairs she doesn't seem stressed for the most part. I think it could possibly be a bit of PTSD that triggers it but I'm unsure. They do stare at eachother but other than that there isn't really any negative body language. Usually Fluffy will be laying down or sitting and purring or meowing or chirping. I think it's all in her mind, or she's just trying to avoid being jumped on.

She has also been always somewhat skittish, but more so as she aged. When she was around a year old she was very curious and playful and very social. Between a year and a half to two years old, she definitely became less of those things and would spend more time alone (this was also around the time I was off work for ten weeks during lockdown #2). When I returned to work was when she started acting differently. She spent more time in her room and she wouldn't let anyone except me and my partner pet her and to this day almost a year later she still won't let my mom pet her. When we first got Fluffy she changed quite a bit and wouldn't even come downstairs. I'd say now she's fairly normal. She still prefers to stay upstairs when he is out and she sleeps up there too, but the rest of the time she goes around freely whenever she pleases. This is basically the same as it was prior to adopting Fluffy.

Right now it's just been trying to decode what is keeping her away from him. It may just be a phase that she's going through. She recently also completely stopped going up on the cat tree out of the blue and only goes up on the window perch now. Fluffy goes on the cat tree sometimes but it's rare and he also goes on the window perch so I'm guessing he's not the issue and her tastes of just changed.

I'll keep it up. I've been doing really good leaving her door open in the morning and evening when Fluffy is out so it's just a matter of getting her to come downstairs now
"I think she's probably not scared because she knows she can run to safety if she needs to." - Yes and she is more confident up there.

" She's also quite a distance from him and she only seems to get scared when he's closer to her." - Makes sense

" There are so many reasons it could be, though I don't believe it's something outside." - Ok

" A part of me thinks that she's just accepting that Fluffy exists but doesn't want to be near him or is worried that she's going into his territory." - Ok, if that is "all" it is then that is fine.

"She is happy and still loves to cuddle and play when he's not around and even when she is upstairs while he is downstairs she doesn't seem stressed for the most part." - Great

" I think it could possibly be a bit of PTSD that triggers it but I'm unsure." - Yes, possible.

" They do stare at eachother" - That is common.

" but other than that there isn't really any negative body language. " - Great

"Usually Fluffy will be laying down or sitting and purring or meowing or chirping. " - Ok.

"I think it's all in her mind, or she's just trying to avoid being jumped on." - Could be. If it is the mind meds can help. If it is "being jumped on" confidence will help. I do want to continue building her confidence downstairs.

"She has also been always somewhat skittish, but more so as she aged. When she was around a year old she was very curious and playful and very social. " - Ok

"Between a year and a half to two years old, she definitely became less of those things and would spend more time alone (this was also around the time I was off work for ten weeks during lockdown #2). When I returned to work was when she started acting differently. She spent more time in her room and she wouldn't let anyone except me and my partner pet her and to this day almost a year later she still won't let my mom pet her." - Ok, so you going back to work had some impact. A lack of confidence.

" When we first got Fluffy she changed quite a bit and wouldn't even come downstairs." - Yes, normal.

" I'd say now she's fairly normal." - Wow, that is really good.

" She still prefers to stay upstairs when he is out and she sleeps up there too, but the rest of the time she goes around freely whenever she pleases. This is basically the same as it was prior to adopting Fluffy." - Ok, great

"Right now it's just been trying to decode what is keeping her away from him." - Yes

" It may just be a phase that she's going through." - Maybe

" She recently also completely stopped going up on the cat tree out of the blue and only goes up on the window perch now." - Hmmmmmmm, usually there is a reason.

" Fluffy goes on the cat tree sometimes but it's rare" - Hmmmmmmm

" and he also goes on the window perch" - So it may not be an ownership confidence thing

" so I'm guessing he's not the issue and her tastes of just changed." - Could be. Anything around the cat tree or does it have a different view than the window perch? Outside or inside (to the kitchen).

"I'll keep it up. I've been doing really good leaving her door open in the morning and evening when Fluffy is out so it's just a matter of getting her to come downstairs now " - Great. And make sure you do the tough love. Make her make the choice to take the "risk" for the reward.

We just need to her to get that last bit of confidence and be like "this is my home so behave!!!".
 
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Graham18

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Everything is still moving along slowly :)

On Sunday evening Sapphire was relaxing on the dining room chair just outside of Fluffy's room while he ate. Afterwards I kept him busy in the living room and she laid there for a few more minutes before she casually went upstairs to her bed. She ended up coming back down two more times while Fluffy was out but in both cases didn't stay down for long or would just hangout on the stairs. The first time she came down Fluffy was in the kitchen and he started to move towards her playfully. I told him no and he stopped and she was already on the stairs. The second time she stayed at the bottom of the stairs so I gave them some whiskas milk as a special treat.

I knew last night she wouldn't come down since she went straight to a nap after she ate so Fluffy got to just hangout for an hour. She did come down right as I was getting Fluffy ready for bed just before I put the baby gates up in the hall but Fluffy was already excited for his feeder ball and I didn't want to get him worked up so he went to bed.

She also came down to visit this morning but she was a bit grouchy and growling and hissing quite a bit. She got a bit scared when Fluffy jumped off the couch to try and go see her and growled and then ran up to her room but he didn't try to chase her.

Fluffy has been a really good boy and hasn't tried to chase her yet and he's been acting really calm. There's a few times when he sees her and his tail starts going crazy and he's tried to sneak upstairs a few times but mostly he just sits at the bottom of the stairs meowing or chirping for her. I just wants to see her so badly.
 

calicosrspecial

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Everything is still moving along slowly :)

On Sunday evening Sapphire was relaxing on the dining room chair just outside of Fluffy's room while he ate. Afterwards I kept him busy in the living room and she laid there for a few more minutes before she casually went upstairs to her bed. She ended up coming back down two more times while Fluffy was out but in both cases didn't stay down for long or would just hangout on the stairs. The first time she came down Fluffy was in the kitchen and he started to move towards her playfully. I told him no and he stopped and she was already on the stairs. The second time she stayed at the bottom of the stairs so I gave them some whiskas milk as a special treat.

I knew last night she wouldn't come down since she went straight to a nap after she ate so Fluffy got to just hangout for an hour. She did come down right as I was getting Fluffy ready for bed just before I put the baby gates up in the hall but Fluffy was already excited for his feeder ball and I didn't want to get him worked up so he went to bed.

She also came down to visit this morning but she was a bit grouchy and growling and hissing quite a bit. She got a bit scared when Fluffy jumped off the couch to try and go see her and growled and then ran up to her room but he didn't try to chase her.

Fluffy has been a really good boy and hasn't tried to chase her yet and he's been acting really calm. There's a few times when he sees her and his tail starts going crazy and he's tried to sneak upstairs a few times but mostly he just sits at the bottom of the stairs meowing or chirping for her. I just wants to see her so badly.
"Everything is still moving along slowly :)" - Great it is moving along.

"On Sunday evening Sapphire was relaxing on the dining room chair just outside of Fluffy's room while he ate." - Great

" Afterwards I kept him busy in the living room and she laid there for a few more minutes before she casually went upstairs to her bed." - Casually is the key word. FANTASTIC!!!

" She ended up coming back down two more times while Fluffy was out but in both cases didn't stay down for long or would just hangout on the stairs." - That is great. She is getting her courage and desire up.

" The first time she came down Fluffy was in the kitchen and he started to move towards her playfully. I told him no and he stopped and she was already on the stairs. " - GREAT, I LOVE that he listened as well!!!

"The second time she stayed at the bottom of the stairs so I gave them some whiskas milk as a special treat." - Awwwwwww :)

"I knew last night she wouldn't come down since she went straight to a nap after she ate so Fluffy got to just hangout for an hour." - That is fine. Whatever she wants, whatever makes her happy.

"She did come down right as I was getting Fluffy ready for bed just before I put the baby gates up in the hall but Fluffy was already excited for his feeder ball and I didn't want to get him worked up so he went to bed." - Great

"She also came down to visit this morning but she was a bit grouchy and growling and hissing quite a bit. She got a bit scared when Fluffy jumped off the couch to try and go see her and growled and then ran up to her room but he didn't try to chase her." - Ok, that is fine. Nothing negative happened which is positive.

"Fluffy has been a really good boy and hasn't tried to chase her yet and he's been acting really calm. " - Great, I am SO PROUD of him!!!

"There's a few times when he sees her and his tail starts going crazy and he's tried to sneak upstairs a few times but mostly he just sits at the bottom of the stairs meowing or chirping for her. I just wants to see her so badly. " - Awwww, he wants her as a friend, playmate. He may just win out......................... ;)

THAT is a GREAT update!!! Keep up the great work!!
 
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