Help/Advice for introductions

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Graham18

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"I agree they are both happy." - THAT is the KEY. Try to go with that.

" Just me overthinking again." - Possibly

"Things seem to still be going pretty smoothly." - Great

" Last night sapphire stayed downstairs for the majority of the time that Fluffy was out and watched him from either behind, or on top of her cat tree." - Wow, THAT is great progress!!!

" Had to redirect Fluffy a few times not wanting him to get any ideas that he can try and pounce on her and all was positive." - Expected and great.

" After they had their cat milk sapphire went upstairs to nap and Fluffy just hung out for a bit longer but he was pretty tired so I put him to bed." - Perfect!!

"This morning was more interesting. Sapphire didn't go into her room for breakfast and a nap as she normally does and instead came downstairs and curled up in her new scratching pad shaped like a bowl while Fluffy ate and played with his puzzle feeder." - WHOA!!!! MORE PROGRESS!!!

" Had to redirect a few times but mostly he just laid on the floor and they watched eachother." - That is fine. She was great.

" I was probably a bit more frantic than usual as I was trying to keep an eye on them while also trying to drink my coffee, check emails, eat breakfast, etc since I'm not used to Sapphire being downstairs in the morning." - Exactly, makes it even more impressive!!

" The most interesting part was when I used a treat in my hand to guide Fluffy upstairs to my room, and Sapphire decided to follow us at a distance going up the stairs." - WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Sapphire following?!?!?!?!!? I am SO PROUD of her!!!

" She got a bit too close at one point and hissed" - She got too close? Now who was at fault for that???? ;)

"but I don't think Fluffy noticed she was behind him and he followed me into my room." - Or didn't care either way AWESOME!!

"And just as an extra here is Fluffy wearing his Christmas PJs on Christmas morning. " - Awwwww, he is SO ADORABLE!!!!

"I tried putting an outfit on Sapphire when she was still less than a year old but she does not like it. Fluffy on the other hand seems calmer when he's wearing something." - Not surprised, she doesn't seem to be a cat like that. :)

Well, this is the best update I may have ever gotten. I am honestly blown away. Keep doing what you are doing, something is working!! GREAT JOB!!! :)
I plan to continue doing this for the time being and avoiding direct interactions. There is definitely some up and down with Sapphire still so I know she's not entirely comfortable and still a bit cautious, but she's getting a bit better.

Yesterday evening she continued to lay in her scratching pad, but she didn't want her food or cat milk and eventually went and sat on the stairs for a few minutes before she went up to her room. Fluffy seemed to have a bit more energy so that may have thrown her off a bit, but I didn't hear any hissing or growling from her even when he got closer.

I went upstairs briefly and I couldn't find her which makes me think she was probably under/behind the clothing rack or under the bed. I found her in her bed once Fluffy had been put in his room for the night.

Still a bit to work on since she's not fully comfortable yet. Sometimes even when I'm feeding them their wet food, she'll eat hers right away and other times, as soon as I open my bedroom and give Fluffy his food, she will stop eating hers and go behind the clothing rack. It really just depends on the day and I haven't seen any other signs to predict how she will react.
 

calicosrspecial

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I plan to continue doing this for the time being and avoiding direct interactions. There is definitely some up and down with Sapphire still so I know she's not entirely comfortable and still a bit cautious, but she's getting a bit better.

Yesterday evening she continued to lay in her scratching pad, but she didn't want her food or cat milk and eventually went and sat on the stairs for a few minutes before she went up to her room. Fluffy seemed to have a bit more energy so that may have thrown her off a bit, but I didn't hear any hissing or growling from her even when he got closer.

I went upstairs briefly and I couldn't find her which makes me think she was probably under/behind the clothing rack or under the bed. I found her in her bed once Fluffy had been put in his room for the night.

Still a bit to work on since she's not fully comfortable yet. Sometimes even when I'm feeding them their wet food, she'll eat hers right away and other times, as soon as I open my bedroom and give Fluffy his food, she will stop eating hers and go behind the clothing rack. It really just depends on the day and I haven't seen any other signs to predict how she will react.
"I plan to continue doing this for the time being and avoiding direct interactions." - Totally agree. We'lll et her tells us when she is ready.

" There is definitely some up and down with Sapphire still so I know she's not entirely comfortable and still a bit cautious, but she's getting a bit better." - Yes. She is a lot better it seems.

"Yesterday evening she continued to lay in her scratching pad, but she didn't want her food or cat milk and eventually went and sat on the stairs for a few minutes before she went up to her room. Fluffy seemed to have a bit more energy so that may have thrown her off a bit, but I didn't hear any hissing or growling from her even when he got closer." - Ok, that is fine. Positive.

"I went upstairs briefly and I couldn't find her which makes me think she was probably under/behind the clothing rack or under the bed. I found her in her bed once Fluffy had been put in his room for the night." - Ok, maybe she wasn't feeling well. Either way, nothing negative happened so if there was any fear it wasn't realized. Which at some point will help.

"Still a bit to work on since she's not fully comfortable yet." - yes, just keep diong what you are doing and if she does what she did last night just don't make a big deal out if it. Just let her do her thing.

"Sometimes even when I'm feeding them their wet food, she'll eat hers right away and other times, as soon as I open my bedroom and give Fluffy his food, she will stop eating hers and go behind the clothing rack. It really just depends on the day and I haven't seen any other signs to predict how she will react. " - Ok, you are doing everything you can. she needs to know take it to the next level. She is making progress towards that.

Keep up the great work.
 
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Graham18

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Fluffy was a bit of a naughty boy tonight and had to have a brief time out. I ended up bearing the most of it so generally things still went okay.

I had just washed my comforter and had it folded up on the Ottoman where Sapphire was curled up cozy and resting. All was going fine with Fluffy eating and after he was done Sapphire ate a bit before jumping down and sitting in the corner. Fluffy didn't try to chase her when she jumped down which was great. When she moves into the stairs and Fluffy noticed her looking through the bannister he crouched low to the ground and started towards her as he does when he's about to chase/lunge/pounce on her. I blocked his path and told him no which was when he became naughty and jumped on my arm and started to bite. I told him no and stomped on the ground and he sat for another few seconds staring at me and then jumped on my arm again and started biting again and hissed. After this he got a timeout in his room for a few minutes. After I let him out we went upstairs and he laid in the hallway and Sapphire came over for a treat and a growl. Unsurprisingly he got worked up again but this time listened when I told him no and I used a treat to direct him downstairs.

I think he does this sometimes out of frustration. He'll sometimes get mad and go after my arm or legs when I'm with him in my room and he wants to go downstairs and he gets a timeout whenever he does it. My largest concern is he'll get like this with Sapphire if she won't play with him, but I suppose that is a problem for a later time.
 

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Fluffy was a bit of a naughty boy tonight and had to have a brief time out. I ended up bearing the most of it so generally things still went okay.

I had just washed my comforter and had it folded up on the Ottoman where Sapphire was curled up cozy and resting. All was going fine with Fluffy eating and after he was done Sapphire ate a bit before jumping down and sitting in the corner. Fluffy didn't try to chase her when she jumped down which was great. When she moves into the stairs and Fluffy noticed her looking through the bannister he crouched low to the ground and started towards her as he does when he's about to chase/lunge/pounce on her. I blocked his path and told him no which was when he became naughty and jumped on my arm and started to bite. I told him no and stomped on the ground and he sat for another few seconds staring at me and then jumped on my arm again and started biting again and hissed. After this he got a timeout in his room for a few minutes. After I let him out we went upstairs and he laid in the hallway and Sapphire came over for a treat and a growl. Unsurprisingly he got worked up again but this time listened when I told him no and I used a treat to direct him downstairs.

I think he does this sometimes out of frustration. He'll sometimes get mad and go after my arm or legs when I'm with him in my room and he wants to go downstairs and he gets a timeout whenever he does it. My largest concern is he'll get like this with Sapphire if she won't play with him, but I suppose that is a problem for a later time.
"Fluffy was a bit of a naughty boy tonight and had to have a brief time out. I ended up bearing the most of it so generally things still went okay." - Hmmmmmm, ok, let's see.

"I had just washed my comforter and had it folded up on the Ottoman where Sapphire was curled up cozy and resting. All was going fine with Fluffy eating and after he was done Sapphire ate a bit before jumping down and sitting in the corner. Fluffy didn't try to chase her when she jumped down which was great." - Ok, everything sounds great so far.

" When she moves into the stairs and Fluffy noticed her looking through the bannister he crouched low to the ground and started towards her as he does when he's about to chase/lunge/pounce on her." - Ok, did it look aggressive or play hunting?

" I blocked his path and told him no which was when he became naughty and jumped on my arm and started to bite. I told him no and stomped on the ground and he sat for another few seconds staring at me and then jumped on my arm again and started biting again and hissed." - :( Ok, that is not good. Did he break the skin?

"After this he got a timeout in his room for a few minutes. " - Ok, I typically don't like to do that since taking territory way can escalate things.

"After I let him out we went upstairs and he laid in the hallway and Sapphire came over for a treat and a growl." - OK, that is really good (other than the obligatory growl).

" Unsurprisingly he got worked up again but this time listened when I told him no and I used a treat to direct him downstairs." - Ok, great.

Sounds like the incident was too much energy. I figured but wanted to see how he acted.

"I think he does this sometimes out of frustration." - Yes, too much energy, maybe a touch of redirected aggression.

" He'll sometimes get mad and go after my arm or legs when I'm with him in my room and he wants to go downstairs and he gets a timeout whenever he does it." - Ok, he needs to know it is unacceptable. Cats are really good at sensing emotions so feeling of disappointment, sadness (not vulnerability though) can get the point across.

"My largest concern is he'll get like this with Sapphire if she won't play with him, but I suppose that is a problem for a later time. " - I think we probably have seen that already. She just needs to learn to end it. She needs that confidence to put him in his place. :/

Well, overall, it sounds good. We need to let him know biting is totally unacceptable. :/
 
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"Fluffy was a bit of a naughty boy tonight and had to have a brief time out. I ended up bearing the most of it so generally things still went okay." - Hmmmmmm, ok, let's see.

"I had just washed my comforter and had it folded up on the Ottoman where Sapphire was curled up cozy and resting. All was going fine with Fluffy eating and after he was done Sapphire ate a bit before jumping down and sitting in the corner. Fluffy didn't try to chase her when she jumped down which was great." - Ok, everything sounds great so far.

" When she moves into the stairs and Fluffy noticed her looking through the bannister he crouched low to the ground and started towards her as he does when he's about to chase/lunge/pounce on her." - Ok, did it look aggressive or play hunting?

" I blocked his path and told him no which was when he became naughty and jumped on my arm and started to bite. I told him no and stomped on the ground and he sat for another few seconds staring at me and then jumped on my arm again and started biting again and hissed." - :( Ok, that is not good. Did he break the skin?

"After this he got a timeout in his room for a few minutes. " - Ok, I typically don't like to do that since taking territory way can escalate things.

"After I let him out we went upstairs and he laid in the hallway and Sapphire came over for a treat and a growl." - OK, that is really good (other than the obligatory growl).

" Unsurprisingly he got worked up again but this time listened when I told him no and I used a treat to direct him downstairs." - Ok, great.

Sounds like the incident was too much energy. I figured but wanted to see how he acted.

"I think he does this sometimes out of frustration." - Yes, too much energy, maybe a touch of redirected aggression.

" He'll sometimes get mad and go after my arm or legs when I'm with him in my room and he wants to go downstairs and he gets a timeout whenever he does it." - Ok, he needs to know it is unacceptable. Cats are really good at sensing emotions so feeling of disappointment, sadness (not vulnerability though) can get the point across.

"My largest concern is he'll get like this with Sapphire if she won't play with him, but I suppose that is a problem for a later time. " - I think we probably have seen that already. She just needs to learn to end it. She needs that confidence to put him in his place. :/

Well, overall, it sounds good. We need to let him know biting is totally unacceptable. :/
He was play hunting when he was going for her I'm pretty sure.

As for his biting, his play biting has gotten better and he will usually stop if I tell him no or ignore him him and just move away. I can always tell when he's about to get frustrated and lunge at my arm or leg because he just sits and stares at me for a few seconds completely silent and then jumps. When I'm in my room with him I can just leave for a minute and when I come back he's back to loving and rubbing all over me. Last night was a bit of a challenge and I didn't have any toys available and he wasn't reacting to loud sounds or my voice and I didn't want to reward him by throwing a treat.

I'm not sure if the marks are from his claws or his teeth, but they are usually minimal and I disinfect them right away either way.

Hopefully he learns that he can't get mad when she won't play with him. I've read things in the past about how some cats can get angry when another cat won't play with them and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried/stressed about it.

I think I can rule out general aggression with him as I feel like there would be more signs as he only seems to get worked up when Sapphire is hiding or when she growls at him and he's pretty calm the rest of the time around her.
 

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He was play hunting when he was going for her I'm pretty sure.

As for his biting, his play biting has gotten better and he will usually stop if I tell him no or ignore him him and just move away. I can always tell when he's about to get frustrated and lunge at my arm or leg because he just sits and stares at me for a few seconds completely silent and then jumps. When I'm in my room with him I can just leave for a minute and when I come back he's back to loving and rubbing all over me. Last night was a bit of a challenge and I didn't have any toys available and he wasn't reacting to loud sounds or my voice and I didn't want to reward him by throwing a treat.

I'm not sure if the marks are from his claws or his teeth, but they are usually minimal and I disinfect them right away either way.

Hopefully he learns that he can't get mad when she won't play with him. I've read things in the past about how some cats can get angry when another cat won't play with them and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried/stressed about it.

I think I can rule out general aggression with him as I feel like there would be more signs as he only seems to get worked up when Sapphire is hiding or when she growls at him and he's pretty calm the rest of the time around her.
"He was play hunting when he was going for her I'm pretty sure." - I figured but wanted to make sure.

"As for his biting, his play biting has gotten better and he will usually stop if I tell him no or ignore him him and just move away." - Great

" I can always tell when he's about to get frustrated and lunge at my arm or leg because he just sits and stares at me for a few seconds completely silent and then jumps." - Yep, we can work with that then. We need to stop it before it starts. Try not to escalate it.

" When I'm in my room with him I can just leave for a minute and when I come back he's back to loving and rubbing all over me." - Great

" Last night was a bit of a challenge and I didn't have any toys available and he wasn't reacting to loud sounds or my voice and I didn't want to reward him by throwing a treat.' - Yes but a treat is better than a bite. :/

"I'm not sure if the marks are from his claws or his teeth, but they are usually minimal and I disinfect them right away either way." - DO they actually cause blood? Or just marks?

"Hopefully he learns that he can't get mad when she won't play with him. I've read things in the past about how some cats can get angry when another cat won't play with them and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried/stressed about it." - That is where getting the energy out via play is really important.

"I think I can rule out general aggression with him as I feel like there would be more signs as he only seems to get worked up when Sapphire is hiding or when she growls at him and he's pretty calm the rest of the time around her. " - Exactly. It sure doesn't seem like he wants to ever hurt her.

I really struggle. I keep wondering if we should think about meds for Fluffy. Maybe that is the way to get her to build confidence. I don't like meds but I need her to get that confidence. If he is more docile it might help. :/ But he is such a great, happy cat. Ughhhhhhh, I am just thinking out loud. I really want to figure out a way to get zero stress from the cats for you. :/
 
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"He was play hunting when he was going for her I'm pretty sure." - I figured but wanted to make sure.

"As for his biting, his play biting has gotten better and he will usually stop if I tell him no or ignore him him and just move away." - Great

" I can always tell when he's about to get frustrated and lunge at my arm or leg because he just sits and stares at me for a few seconds completely silent and then jumps." - Yep, we can work with that then. We need to stop it before it starts. Try not to escalate it.

" When I'm in my room with him I can just leave for a minute and when I come back he's back to loving and rubbing all over me." - Great

" Last night was a bit of a challenge and I didn't have any toys available and he wasn't reacting to loud sounds or my voice and I didn't want to reward him by throwing a treat.' - Yes but a treat is better than a bite. :/

"I'm not sure if the marks are from his claws or his teeth, but they are usually minimal and I disinfect them right away either way." - DO they actually cause blood? Or just marks?

"Hopefully he learns that he can't get mad when she won't play with him. I've read things in the past about how some cats can get angry when another cat won't play with them and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried/stressed about it." - That is where getting the energy out via play is really important.

"I think I can rule out general aggression with him as I feel like there would be more signs as he only seems to get worked up when Sapphire is hiding or when she growls at him and he's pretty calm the rest of the time around her. " - Exactly. It sure doesn't seem like he wants to ever hurt her.

I really struggle. I keep wondering if we should think about meds for Fluffy. Maybe that is the way to get her to build confidence. I don't like meds but I need her to get that confidence. If he is more docile it might help. :/ But he is such a great, happy cat. Ughhhhhhh, I am just thinking out loud. I really want to figure out a way to get zero stress from the cats for you. :/
He usually just leave marks but sometimes there is a tiny bit of blood, but it is usually just a small pin prick, nothing severe, but I like to disinfect it either way. Luckily, at least with Sapphire around this is the first time it's happened and it usually only happens when he wants to go downstairs.

I think there would be more signs if he really wanted to hurt Sapphire, but he's quite easily distracted and just kind of lays down quite a bit too when she's around.

I've thought about asking a vet about some sort of meds and they are both due for their yearly checkups soon. I've also thought about getting him an anxiety vest or even putting his harness back on without a leash since he seems to be more calm. With that being said I would say he is calm most of the time when they're out together. He will usually just lay down for the most part and he really doesn't try and charge at her anymore except for those few circumstances like when it looks like she's hiding or when she starts to growl at him. When it's just Fluffy out, he's very calm for the most part and will just lay and look out the window or go for a nap somewhere. When I go and play with him in my room, he will play for about ten minutes and then he gets tired and just lays there grooming himself. I also forget sometimes that he's not even 3 years old yet either.

Also, for what it's worth, Sapphire seems to be back to more cautious than anything and I imagine she would completely ignore him if he would ignore her. When she's sitting on the stairs watching him she almost looks like she wants to play (although I know better now haha).

I will keep doing what I'm doing and see where we can get.
 

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He usually just leave marks but sometimes there is a tiny bit of blood, but it is usually just a small pin prick, nothing severe, but I like to disinfect it either way. Luckily, at least with Sapphire around this is the first time it's happened and it usually only happens when he wants to go downstairs.

I think there would be more signs if he really wanted to hurt Sapphire, but he's quite easily distracted and just kind of lays down quite a bit too when she's around.

I've thought about asking a vet about some sort of meds and they are both due for their yearly checkups soon. I've also thought about getting him an anxiety vest or even putting his harness back on without a leash since he seems to be more calm. With that being said I would say he is calm most of the time when they're out together. He will usually just lay down for the most part and he really doesn't try and charge at her anymore except for those few circumstances like when it looks like she's hiding or when she starts to growl at him. When it's just Fluffy out, he's very calm for the most part and will just lay and look out the window or go for a nap somewhere. When I go and play with him in my room, he will play for about ten minutes and then he gets tired and just lays there grooming himself. I also forget sometimes that he's not even 3 years old yet either.

Also, for what it's worth, Sapphire seems to be back to more cautious than anything and I imagine she would completely ignore him if he would ignore her. When she's sitting on the stairs watching him she almost looks like she wants to play (although I know better now haha).

I will keep doing what I'm doing and see where we can get.
"He usually just leave marks but sometimes there is a tiny bit of blood, but it is usually just a small pin prick, nothing severe," - Yes, IF he wanted t hurt it would be noticeable.

" but I like to disinfect it either way." - Absolutely

" Luckily, at least with Sapphire around this is the first time it's happened and it usually only happens when he wants to go downstairs." - Yes

"I think there would be more signs if he really wanted to hurt Sapphire, but he's quite easily distracted and just kind of lays down quite a bit too when she's around." - Exactly.

"I've thought about asking a vet about some sort of meds and they are both due for their yearly checkups soon. I've also thought about getting him an anxiety vest or even putting his harness back on without a leash since he seems to be more calm." - I would try the vest or the harness first. He is a good boy, he just wants to play. So we have two different cats with different desires to play and different energy levels and desire to be social. :/ She seems to want at times to engage (maybe more before than now) but just can't get over it. BUT she acts normal, happy otherwise. He is good, happy, normal but then gets this burst of energy that isn't matched by her. :/

" With that being said I would say he is calm most of the time when they're out together. He will usually just lay down for the most part" - Exactly. And the fact it isn't 24/7 is why he probably shouldn't be on meds. :/

" and he really doesn't try and charge at her anymore except for those few circumstances like when it looks like she's hiding" - Exactly, that is fun, play.

" or when she starts to growl at him. " - Yes, which can activate a defense.

"When it's just Fluffy out, he's very calm for the most part and will just lay and look out the window or go for a nap somewhere. When I go and play with him in my room, he will play for about ten minutes and then he gets tired and just lays there grooming himself. I also forget sometimes that he's not even 3 years old yet either." - Exactly. He is fine. It really isn't him. :/

"Also, for what it's worth, Sapphire seems to be back to more cautious than anything" - Great

" and I imagine she would completely ignore him if he would ignore her. " - Agree

"When she's sitting on the stairs watching him she almost looks like she wants to play (although I know better now haha)." - Exactly, and that is what is so confusing. She seems to want to engage but is so afraid. So I thought about meds for her but then I wonder is he then engages it might really scare her. :/

"I will keep doing what I'm doing and see where we can get. " - Sounds good. We need her to get that confidence and tell him the rules. :/ He is a great cat and so is she. But she has this fear. I think it is a PTSD thing. :/

Keep up the great work. You really are doing great.
 
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Graham18

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Hello and happy new year!

I have really nothing major to update. The time out together has been been up and down over the last few days. Truthfully, I was quite sick on Friday evening so my memory is a little bit foggy on all the details of everything. Sapphire has been generally fine one day and scared the next. I do remember I had them out together briefly on Friday morning, and Sapphire was upstairs but she came back down and jumped on the couch while Fluffy was out. There has only been a few times where Fluffy has looked like he was going to charge at her and every time he was redirected successfully. Most of the time Sapphire will sit on the stairs and just watch Fluffy.

Saturday evening she went upstairs quite quickly after I let Fluffy out and I brought her food upstairs for her and I guess she thought it was him because she turned and hissed at me before calming down. After a few minutes I let Fluffy come upstairs and just lay in the hallway outside her room and she ate her food in his sight. She didn't come back downstairs for quite awhile after he was in bed.

I'm really trying to do more time together, but I'm extremely tired lately so it is ending up being quite difficult to get the motivation to since I'm having to spend the time making sure I available to keep him distracted.

And that's everything for today :)
 

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Hello and happy new year!

I have really nothing major to update. The time out together has been been up and down over the last few days. Truthfully, I was quite sick on Friday evening so my memory is a little bit foggy on all the details of everything. Sapphire has been generally fine one day and scared the next. I do remember I had them out together briefly on Friday morning, and Sapphire was upstairs but she came back down and jumped on the couch while Fluffy was out. There has only been a few times where Fluffy has looked like he was going to charge at her and every time he was redirected successfully. Most of the time Sapphire will sit on the stairs and just watch Fluffy.

Saturday evening she went upstairs quite quickly after I let Fluffy out and I brought her food upstairs for her and I guess she thought it was him because she turned and hissed at me before calming down. After a few minutes I let Fluffy come upstairs and just lay in the hallway outside her room and she ate her food in his sight. She didn't come back downstairs for quite awhile after he was in bed.

I'm really trying to do more time together, but I'm extremely tired lately so it is ending up being quite difficult to get the motivation to since I'm having to spend the time making sure I available to keep him distracted.

And that's everything for today :)
"Hello and happy new year!" - Happy New Year!!

"I have really nothing major to update. The time out together has been been up and down over the last few days." - Ok

" Truthfully, I was quite sick on Friday evening so my memory is a little bit foggy on all the details of everything." - Sorry, I hope you are feeling better.

" Sapphire has been generally fine one day and scared the next." - Ok

" I do remember I had them out together briefly on Friday morning, and Sapphire was upstairs but she came back down and jumped on the couch while Fluffy was out." - Wow, well that is great to read!!! I like she is a bit more confident at times.

" There has only been a few times where Fluffy has looked like he was going to charge at her and every time he was redirected successfully. Most of the time Sapphire will sit on the stairs and just watch Fluffy." - GREAT!!! Exactly what we want to achieve.

"Saturday evening she went upstairs quite quickly after I let Fluffy out and I brought her food upstairs for her and I guess she thought it was him because she turned and hissed at me before calming down." - Ok

"After a few minutes I let Fluffy come upstairs and just lay in the hallway outside her room and she ate her food in his sight." - FANTASTIC!!!

" She didn't come back downstairs for quite awhile after he was in bed." - Ok, sounds like maybe it wasn't him but she just wanted to be upstairs?

"I'm really trying to do more time together, but I'm extremely tired lately so it is ending up being quite difficult to get the motivation to since I'm having to spend the time making sure I available to keep him distracted." - That is fine. Just rest up, relax, get well, then have some enjoyment then try to extend the time. What you are doing now is working so it is fine.

"And that's everything for today :) " - Great update!!!!

Get well soon.
 
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"Hello and happy new year!" - Happy New Year!!

"I have really nothing major to update. The time out together has been been up and down over the last few days." - Ok

" Truthfully, I was quite sick on Friday evening so my memory is a little bit foggy on all the details of everything." - Sorry, I hope you are feeling better.

" Sapphire has been generally fine one day and scared the next." - Ok

" I do remember I had them out together briefly on Friday morning, and Sapphire was upstairs but she came back down and jumped on the couch while Fluffy was out." - Wow, well that is great to read!!! I like she is a bit more confident at times.

" There has only been a few times where Fluffy has looked like he was going to charge at her and every time he was redirected successfully. Most of the time Sapphire will sit on the stairs and just watch Fluffy." - GREAT!!! Exactly what we want to achieve.

"Saturday evening she went upstairs quite quickly after I let Fluffy out and I brought her food upstairs for her and I guess she thought it was him because she turned and hissed at me before calming down." - Ok

"After a few minutes I let Fluffy come upstairs and just lay in the hallway outside her room and she ate her food in his sight." - FANTASTIC!!!

" She didn't come back downstairs for quite awhile after he was in bed." - Ok, sounds like maybe it wasn't him but she just wanted to be upstairs?

"I'm really trying to do more time together, but I'm extremely tired lately so it is ending up being quite difficult to get the motivation to since I'm having to spend the time making sure I available to keep him distracted." - That is fine. Just rest up, relax, get well, then have some enjoyment then try to extend the time. What you are doing now is working so it is fine.

"And that's everything for today :) " - Great update!!!!

Get well soon.
Thank you I'm feeling much better!

We had a minor "incident" about an hour ago but I think everything seems well. I brought Fluffy downstairs to hangout with Sapphire and was playing with him with a rod and feather toy while Sapphire watched from a distance. Out of no where she ran towards him or the toy (not sure which but I'm guessing the toy), while he was playing. I'm not sure what she was thinking but she made it right to him, he tried to pounce on her but she was faster at turning around, she hissed and bolted off upstairs. Fluffy followed me upstairs and Sapphire just growled at him from in her room. He was already worked up so I went into my room and hungout with him while he calmed down.

She always just continues to add to the mystery haha
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you I'm feeling much better!

We had a minor "incident" about an hour ago but I think everything seems well. I brought Fluffy downstairs to hangout with Sapphire and was playing with him with a rod and feather toy while Sapphire watched from a distance. Out of no where she ran towards him or the toy (not sure which but I'm guessing the toy), while he was playing. I'm not sure what she was thinking but she made it right to him, he tried to pounce on her but she was faster at turning around, she hissed and bolted off upstairs. Fluffy followed me upstairs and Sapphire just growled at him from in her room. He was already worked up so I went into my room and hungout with him while he calmed down.

She always just continues to add to the mystery haha
"Thank you I'm feeling much better!" - GREAT!!!

"We had a minor "incident" about an hour ago but I think everything seems well." - Ok, let's see

" I brought Fluffy downstairs to hangout with Sapphire and was playing with him with a rod and feather toy while Sapphire watched from a distance." - Ok

" Out of no where she ran towards him or the toy (not sure which but I'm guessing the toy), while he was playing. I'm not sure what she was thinking but she made it right to him," - Well, I would call that EXTREMELY POSITIVE!!! The fact she chose something over fear is AMAZING!!!

" he tried to pounce on her " - Ok, not surprising

"but she was faster at turning around, she hissed and bolted off upstairs." - Or maybe he wasn't as incentivized to "get to her".

" Fluffy followed me upstairs" - He followed you? POSITIVE

" and Sapphire just growled at him from in her room." - Expected.

" He was already worked up so I went into my room and hungout with him while he calmed down." - Great job!!

"She always just continues to add to the mystery haha " - Well, I am not sure anything was unexpected. Other than her bolt of confidence.

Watch how they act after. But at this point I call it a positive. Nothing really negative happened and it resolved itself. We'll see how long it takes for her to get over any cautiousness.

I actually LOVE that she went for the toy!!!! :)
 
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"Thank you I'm feeling much better!" - GREAT!!!

"We had a minor "incident" about an hour ago but I think everything seems well." - Ok, let's see

" I brought Fluffy downstairs to hangout with Sapphire and was playing with him with a rod and feather toy while Sapphire watched from a distance." - Ok

" Out of no where she ran towards him or the toy (not sure which but I'm guessing the toy), while he was playing. I'm not sure what she was thinking but she made it right to him," - Well, I would call that EXTREMELY POSITIVE!!! The fact she chose something over fear is AMAZING!!!

" he tried to pounce on her " - Ok, not surprising

"but she was faster at turning around, she hissed and bolted off upstairs." - Or maybe he wasn't as incentivized to "get to her".

" Fluffy followed me upstairs" - He followed you? POSITIVE

" and Sapphire just growled at him from in her room." - Expected.

" He was already worked up so I went into my room and hungout with him while he calmed down." - Great job!!

"She always just continues to add to the mystery haha " - Well, I am not sure anything was unexpected. Other than her bolt of confidence.

Watch how they act after. But at this point I call it a positive. Nothing really negative happened and it resolved itself. We'll see how long it takes for her to get over any cautiousness.

I actually LOVE that she went for the toy!!!! :)
I did have to quickly use a treat to redirect him and block him from chasing her. She seemed a bit scared when I went upstairs but she was the one who went to him and he just thought she was playing so I just ignored it. Fluffy was also very much in hunting/playing mode upstairs when she was growling so I thought it was best to let him calm down a bit before he tried to go after her. If she isn't still scared tonight we will try playing with them both at the same time and see how it goes.
 

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I did have to quickly use a treat to redirect him and block him from chasing her. She seemed a bit scared when I went upstairs but she was the one who went to him and he just thought she was playing so I just ignored it. Fluffy was also very much in hunting/playing mode upstairs when she was growling so I thought it was best to let him calm down a bit before he tried to go after her. If she isn't still scared tonight we will try playing with them both at the same time and see how it goes.
"I did have to quickly use a treat to redirect him and block him from chasing her." - Of course. When mine are playing they don't get stopped by that.................. He is VERY good!!

" She seemed a bit scared when I went upstairs " - Understandable

"but she was the one who went to him and he just thought she was playing so I just ignored it." - EXACTLY. That is what I am talking about by being "aloof". GREAT job!!

" Fluffy was also very much in hunting/playing mode upstairs when she was growling so I thought it was best to let him calm down a bit before he tried to go after her. " - Good job

"If she isn't still scared tonight we will try playing with them both at the same time and see how it goes." - Well, just keep doing what you are doing and then in time let her choose if she wants to join in. I suspect she will be a bit cautious for a few days at least so no rush.

I think this was good progress. It may not feel like it but I believe it is.
 
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"I did have to quickly use a treat to redirect him and block him from chasing her." - Of course. When mine are playing they don't get stopped by that.................. He is VERY good!!

" She seemed a bit scared when I went upstairs " - Understandable

"but she was the one who went to him and he just thought she was playing so I just ignored it." - EXACTLY. That is what I am talking about by being "aloof". GREAT job!!

" Fluffy was also very much in hunting/playing mode upstairs when she was growling so I thought it was best to let him calm down a bit before he tried to go after her. " - Good job

"If she isn't still scared tonight we will try playing with them both at the same time and see how it goes." - Well, just keep doing what you are doing and then in time let her choose if she wants to join in. I suspect she will be a bit cautious for a few days at least so no rush.

I think this was good progress. It may not feel like it but I believe it is.
She was unsurprisingly a bit cautious in the evening, but not as much as I expected she would be. She was already resting in her bed when I brought Fluffy from my room to his room downstairs, and she did come down briefly. I always feed her first, so when I was bringing her food she ran upstairs which was telling me she wanted to eat in her room. Fluffy just had some more time in the house by himself instead of with her and with me keeping him occupied.

We did go upstairs to the hallway and Sapphire hissed once right as he came up and no one other than that. She was a bit nervous with him nearby but eventually started to do her own thing after watching him a bit. Fluffy then got up and went back downstairs on his own without me having to direct him (most likely because I wouldn't let him go see Sapphire), but it was still good progress.
 

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She was unsurprisingly a bit cautious in the evening, but not as much as I expected she would be. She was already resting in her bed when I brought Fluffy from my room to his room downstairs, and she did come down briefly. I always feed her first, so when I was bringing her food she ran upstairs which was telling me she wanted to eat in her room. Fluffy just had some more time in the house by himself instead of with her and with me keeping him occupied.

We did go upstairs to the hallway and Sapphire hissed once right as he came up and no one other than that. She was a bit nervous with him nearby but eventually started to do her own thing after watching him a bit. Fluffy then got up and went back downstairs on his own without me having to direct him (most likely because I wouldn't let him go see Sapphire), but it was still good progress.
"She was unsurprisingly a bit cautious in the evening, but not as much as I expected she would be." - Really? Wow. Great.

" She was already resting in her bed when I brought Fluffy from my room to his room downstairs, and she did come down briefly." - FANTASTIC!!!

" I always feed her first, so when I was bringing her food she ran upstairs which was telling me she wanted to eat in her room. " - Ok

"Fluffy just had some more time in the house by himself instead of with her and with me keeping him occupied." - That is totally fine

"We did go upstairs to the hallway and Sapphire hissed once right as he came up and no one other than that." - Great

" She was a bit nervous with him nearby but eventually started to do her own thing after watching him a bit." - FANTSTIC!!!

" Fluffy then got up and went back downstairs on his own without me having to direct him (most likely because I wouldn't let him go see Sapphire)," - WOW, LOVE this!!! It shows her she is not a total focus. AND I think the way she behaved may have helped deter him. She showed some confidence (by doing her own thing).

"but it was still good progress." - AGREED!!! This is fantastic.
 
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"She was unsurprisingly a bit cautious in the evening, but not as much as I expected she would be." - Really? Wow. Great.

" She was already resting in her bed when I brought Fluffy from my room to his room downstairs, and she did come down briefly." - FANTASTIC!!!

" I always feed her first, so when I was bringing her food she ran upstairs which was telling me she wanted to eat in her room. " - Ok

"Fluffy just had some more time in the house by himself instead of with her and with me keeping him occupied." - That is totally fine

"We did go upstairs to the hallway and Sapphire hissed once right as he came up and no one other than that." - Great

" She was a bit nervous with him nearby but eventually started to do her own thing after watching him a bit." - FANTSTIC!!!

" Fluffy then got up and went back downstairs on his own without me having to direct him (most likely because I wouldn't let him go see Sapphire)," - WOW, LOVE this!!! It shows her she is not a total focus. AND I think the way she behaved may have helped deter him. She showed some confidence (by doing her own thing).

"but it was still good progress." - AGREED!!! This is fantastic.
I hope they can keep getting better! I haven't gotten around to getting Fluffy a calming vest yet but hopefully soon.

Sapphire so far has just been laying in her bed upstairs when I've been bringing Fluffy out so I've been letting him lay in the hallway upstairs with me but nothing exciting has happened.
She did make her way to the top of the stairs last night to watch him play for a few minutes but that's it. I'm guessing she just prefers to be up there right now vs actual fear.
 

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I hope they can keep getting better! I haven't gotten around to getting Fluffy a calming vest yet but hopefully soon.

Sapphire so far has just been laying in her bed upstairs when I've been bringing Fluffy out so I've been letting him lay in the hallway upstairs with me but nothing exciting has happened.
She did make her way to the top of the stairs last night to watch him play for a few minutes but that's it. I'm guessing she just prefers to be up there right now vs actual fear.
"I hope they can keep getting better!" - They will. All indications support that.

" I haven't gotten around to getting Fluffy a calming vest yet but hopefully soon." - Ok, not sure it is really needed but if you want to that is fine.

"Sapphire so far has just been laying in her bed upstairs when I've been bringing Fluffy out so I've been letting him lay in the hallway upstairs with me but nothing exciting has happened." - That is great!!!

"She did make her way to the top of the stairs last night to watch him play for a few minutes but that's it. " - That is fine. If either or both of them just do their own thing that is a great sign.

"I'm guessing she just prefers to be up there right now vs actual fear. " - Sounds like it. If she is not focused, interested in him that is a great sign.

Keep up the great work. I feel like we are seeing really good progress.
 

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Sounds like things are going really well! Fluffy sounds a bit like our Bastian with the arm biting, I'm pretty sure we can chalk that up to nervous system arousal. They just get all that energy and NEED an outlet for it so most if the time we try to redirect to a toy and when we aren't successful we do the same as you with a time out. He's gotten MUCH better, most if the time now he'll go to bite but not follow through. I suspect Fluffy will learn to do the same.

I love that Sapphire often chooses to watch him. And even was comfortable enough to try and play with the toy (even if that comfort was short lived.) She's definitely getting a chance to choose her own comfort level with him and so far it sounds like it's going mostly well!

I'm optimistic that soon you'll see enough comfort between them to yourself start feeling more comfortable with them together and at that point it's pretty quick progress to him being fully integrated!
 
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Sounds like things are going really well! Fluffy sounds a bit like our Bastian with the arm biting, I'm pretty sure we can chalk that up to nervous system arousal. They just get all that energy and NEED an outlet for it so most if the time we try to redirect to a toy and when we aren't successful we do the same as you with a time out. He's gotten MUCH better, most if the time now he'll go to bite but not follow through. I suspect Fluffy will learn to do the same.

I love that Sapphire often chooses to watch him. And even was comfortable enough to try and play with the toy (even if that comfort was short lived.) She's definitely getting a chance to choose her own comfort level with him and so far it sounds like it's going mostly well!

I'm optimistic that soon you'll see enough comfort between them to yourself start feeling more comfortable with them together and at that point it's pretty quick progress to him being fully integrated!
Thank you :)
Fluffy has gotten way better over the months with his biting. It used to be that he would start biting within minutes just because and now I think he just does it mostly when he wants something or has built up energy. If he wants to go downstairs to his room and I'm ignoring him the biting will start. Other than that it's mostly just play biting which we're working on.

Sapphire is still quite up and down with whether she wants to see Fluffy or not. Sometimes she won't even eat her food if he is in sight, even behind a gate and these passed few days she really doesn't come downstairs or even to the stairs to watch him and only comes down once she's sure he's gone to bed. Something I'm hoping wio improve. To be fair, she did make it to the top of the stairs yesterday while I was playing with Fluffy, but when he jumped onto the crinkle sack he was playing near, the sound scared her and she took off back to her room.
 
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