Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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He likes to jump up on the gates for pets like a dog haha. He eventually would try and jump over if I left him for long enough but he's good for short periods of time.

Small progress last night. Sapphire didn't immediately run upstairs. She laid on the cat tree for a few minutes and then had a few bites of kibble before she jumped down, hissed at Fluffy and then ran upstairs and went to sleep. Still no where close to where we were prior to the dustup but getting better slowly.

I also let Fluffy come upstairs this morning and see her from the hallway outside of her room. She was laying down relaxing and I wouldn't let him go passed her doorway. After a few minutes he actually just went and laid down in my bedroom. It seems as long as he doesn't go passed her doorway she's fine not hissing or growling at him.

That's all for today so far :)
"He likes to jump up on the gates for pets like a dog haha." - Awwwwwwwwwww.

" He eventually would try and jump over if I left him for long enough but he's good for short periods of time." - Makes sense given his body language.

"Small progress last night. Sapphire didn't immediately run upstairs. She laid on the cat tree for a few minutes and then had a few bites of kibble before she jumped down, hissed at Fluffy and then ran upstairs and went to sleep. " - Great

"Still no where close to where we were prior to the dustup but getting better slowly." - Yes. :/ They did have one other time where he jumped on her, right? Usually we get that type of encounter, the cat realizes the other one doesn't want to kill them and it moves the relationship forward. I really thought Sapphire would have been in this result. :( I really thought she was ready. Arghhhhhhhh

"I also let Fluffy come upstairs this morning and see her from the hallway outside of her room. She was laying down relaxing and I wouldn't let him go passed her doorway. After a few minutes he actually just went and laid down in my bedroom. It seems as long as he doesn't go passed her doorway she's fine not hissing or growling at him." - That is great.

Hopefully we can get back to where we were before. I am trying to figure out how to get Sapphire to trust him. She does most of the time but when there is no barrier it just breaks down. The only way I can think of continue face to face without a negative (chase) and hopefully in time she finally trusts. Usually we see this if the other cat is aggressive, etc. But Fluffy is so good. All he wants to do is play but she interprets it in a totally different light. We need to teach her. The good news is, she is really normal other then in his presence without a barrier or being too close. So it is not like starting from scratch but this last bit is a total challenge. :/

"That's all for today so far :) " - Great update, progress. Let's just keep trying.
 
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Graham18

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"He likes to jump up on the gates for pets like a dog haha." - Awwwwwwwwwww.

" He eventually would try and jump over if I left him for long enough but he's good for short periods of time." - Makes sense given his body language.

"Small progress last night. Sapphire didn't immediately run upstairs. She laid on the cat tree for a few minutes and then had a few bites of kibble before she jumped down, hissed at Fluffy and then ran upstairs and went to sleep. " - Great

"Still no where close to where we were prior to the dustup but getting better slowly." - Yes. :/ They did have one other time where he jumped on her, right? Usually we get that type of encounter, the cat realizes the other one doesn't want to kill them and it moves the relationship forward. I really thought Sapphire would have been in this result. :( I really thought she was ready. Arghhhhhhhh

"I also let Fluffy come upstairs this morning and see her from the hallway outside of her room. She was laying down relaxing and I wouldn't let him go passed her doorway. After a few minutes he actually just went and laid down in my bedroom. It seems as long as he doesn't go passed her doorway she's fine not hissing or growling at him." - That is great.

Hopefully we can get back to where we were before. I am trying to figure out how to get Sapphire to trust him. She does most of the time but when there is no barrier it just breaks down. The only way I can think of continue face to face without a negative (chase) and hopefully in time she finally trusts. Usually we see this if the other cat is aggressive, etc. But Fluffy is so good. All he wants to do is play but she interprets it in a totally different light. We need to teach her. The good news is, she is really normal other then in his presence without a barrier or being too close. So it is not like starting from scratch but this last bit is a total challenge. :/

"That's all for today so far :) " - Great update, progress. Let's just keep trying.
There was the previous pounce I believe in October which happened downstairs. The most recent time, Sapphire wasn't actually downstairs at the time and came down and was peaking to watch Fluffy and that's when he chased her upstairs and they wrestled in the bathroom. The previous time, he walked up to her and the pounced on her and then I grabbed him so he couldn't chase her. I'm wondering if it was the fact that he chased her while she was just trying to watch him and then cornered her in the bathroom was the issue as that seems to be the main difference between the two interactions. I'm also wondering if she may have been hurt slightly (not enough for blood), but possibly a bit of a bite or scratch that I wouldn't be able to detect as Fluffy does play rough even though I'm trying to teach him otherwise.

But yes you are correct that she is mostly acting normal. The only change I've noticed is Sapphire going to sleep earlier (right after she runs upstairs when Fluffy is out). In the past she normally wouldn't go to sleep until I did about two hours later.

I'm wondering if I should try bringing him out, at least at first with his harness and leash on and see if she's more comfortable. I'm not sure if it would help or not.

My partner thinks we should just still continue to let them work it out in hopes that Fluffy will simply get bored of her, but I think that this is a bad idea at this time.
 

calicosrspecial

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There was the previous pounce I believe in October which happened downstairs. The most recent time, Sapphire wasn't actually downstairs at the time and came down and was peaking to watch Fluffy and that's when he chased her upstairs and they wrestled in the bathroom. The previous time, he walked up to her and the pounced on her and then I grabbed him so he couldn't chase her. I'm wondering if it was the fact that he chased her while she was just trying to watch him and then cornered her in the bathroom was the issue as that seems to be the main difference between the two interactions. I'm also wondering if she may have been hurt slightly (not enough for blood), but possibly a bit of a bite or scratch that I wouldn't be able to detect as Fluffy does play rough even though I'm trying to teach him otherwise.

But yes you are correct that she is mostly acting normal. The only change I've noticed is Sapphire going to sleep earlier (right after she runs upstairs when Fluffy is out). In the past she normally wouldn't go to sleep until I did about two hours later.

I'm wondering if I should try bringing him out, at least at first with his harness and leash on and see if she's more comfortable. I'm not sure if it would help or not.

My partner thinks we should just still continue to let them work it out in hopes that Fluffy will simply get bored of her, but I think that this is a bad idea at this time.
"There was the previous pounce I believe in October which happened downstairs." - I can't remember the details, can you please remind me?

" The most recent time, Sapphire wasn't actually downstairs at the time and came down and was peaking to watch Fluffy and that's when he chased her upstairs and they wrestled in the bathroom. " - Yes. It is understandable why he chased. She was like prey, fun. :/

"The previous time, he walked up to her and the pounced on her and then I grabbed him so he couldn't chase her." -Oh, ok, it wasn't that bad.

" I'm wondering if it was the fact that he chased her while she was just trying to watch him and then cornered her in the bathroom was the issue as that seems to be the main difference between the two interactions." - Totally agree. Understandable this one was more shocking. The chase, the being cornered. But though her reaction wasn't bad it is worse than I would have expected. I dubt he looked like he wanted to hurt her but maybe I am wrong.

" I'm also wondering if she may have been hurt slightly (not enough for blood), but possibly a bit of a bite or scratch that I wouldn't be able to detect as Fluffy does play rough even though I'm trying to teach him otherwise." - Hmmmmm, maybe but then she would have been licking that, favoring it, etc. She would have been abnormal longer and all the time not just in his presence I would expect.

"But yes you are correct that she is mostly acting normal. " - And that is the conundrum. If it was really that bad she would be acting totally different I suspect. So it is not total fear but more caution. Which is actually positive.

"The only change I've noticed is Sapphire going to sleep earlier (right after she runs upstairs when Fluffy is out). In the past she normally wouldn't go to sleep until I did about two hours later." - Ok, part of that might just be the daylight situation and part of it is probably "I don't want to be downstairs with Fluffy so I might as well sleep".

"I'm wondering if I should try bringing him out, at least at first with his harness and leash on and see if she's more comfortable." - Well, maybe but I am not sure how good it is for him. I would rather get her to confront her (irrational in my eyes) fears on her terms. To think "being with dad is more rewarding than fearing Fluffy".

" I'm not sure if it would help or not." - I am not either.

"My partner thinks we should just still continue to let them work it out in hopes that Fluffy will simply get bored of her, but I think that this is a bad idea at this time." - Well, I think we need to BUT not right now. She needs to build more confidence and trust a bit more. Fluffy is a social cat that wants to play, Sapphire is less so (though on numerous occasions I thought she really wanted to play with him). Sapphire really does need to step up though. But at the moment she is too fragile, lacking confidence to do so. So we need to do everything we can to build her confidence around him, not let him jump on her, chase her, etc. Play as much as possible with her yo build her confidence. Give her "tough love" by not babying her but still loving her. Stay calm and confident around her, act like everything is fine, normal, keep her on a schedule. Keep occupying Fluffy, try to tire him out best you can. Make her chose the reward over the fear of Fluffy. Things like that.

She needs to hold her ground with him and let him know no means no.

Does that make sense?
 
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"There was the previous pounce I believe in October which happened downstairs." - I can't remember the details, can you please remind me?

" The most recent time, Sapphire wasn't actually downstairs at the time and came down and was peaking to watch Fluffy and that's when he chased her upstairs and they wrestled in the bathroom. " - Yes. It is understandable why he chased. She was like prey, fun. :/

"The previous time, he walked up to her and the pounced on her and then I grabbed him so he couldn't chase her." -Oh, ok, it wasn't that bad.

" I'm wondering if it was the fact that he chased her while she was just trying to watch him and then cornered her in the bathroom was the issue as that seems to be the main difference between the two interactions." - Totally agree. Understandable this one was more shocking. The chase, the being cornered. But though her reaction wasn't bad it is worse than I would have expected. I dubt he looked like he wanted to hurt her but maybe I am wrong.

" I'm also wondering if she may have been hurt slightly (not enough for blood), but possibly a bit of a bite or scratch that I wouldn't be able to detect as Fluffy does play rough even though I'm trying to teach him otherwise." - Hmmmmm, maybe but then she would have been licking that, favoring it, etc. She would have been abnormal longer and all the time not just in his presence I would expect.

"But yes you are correct that she is mostly acting normal. " - And that is the conundrum. If it was really that bad she would be acting totally different I suspect. So it is not total fear but more caution. Which is actually positive.

"The only change I've noticed is Sapphire going to sleep earlier (right after she runs upstairs when Fluffy is out). In the past she normally wouldn't go to sleep until I did about two hours later." - Ok, part of that might just be the daylight situation and part of it is probably "I don't want to be downstairs with Fluffy so I might as well sleep".

"I'm wondering if I should try bringing him out, at least at first with his harness and leash on and see if she's more comfortable." - Well, maybe but I am not sure how good it is for him. I would rather get her to confront her (irrational in my eyes) fears on her terms. To think "being with dad is more rewarding than fearing Fluffy".

" I'm not sure if it would help or not." - I am not either.

"My partner thinks we should just still continue to let them work it out in hopes that Fluffy will simply get bored of her, but I think that this is a bad idea at this time." - Well, I think we need to BUT not right now. She needs to build more confidence and trust a bit more. Fluffy is a social cat that wants to play, Sapphire is less so (though on numerous occasions I thought she really wanted to play with him). Sapphire really does need to step up though. But at the moment she is too fragile, lacking confidence to do so. So we need to do everything we can to build her confidence around him, not let him jump on her, chase her, etc. Play as much as possible with her yo build her confidence. Give her "tough love" by not babying her but still loving her. Stay calm and confident around her, act like everything is fine, normal, keep her on a schedule. Keep occupying Fluffy, try to tire him out best you can. Make her chose the reward over the fear of Fluffy. Things like that.

She needs to hold her ground with him and let him know no means no.

Does that make sense?
The last interaction, I was giving them treats close together and then he went to her. This in turn caused Sapphire to swat at Fluffy and then he jumped on her and they wrestled before I caught Fluffy. There was no chase involved which is what is making me believe it was the chase and the cornering that made Sapphire so scared/cautious of him.

Everything about building her confidence makes sense :).
It is extremely tough to tell how she is going to react with him. Last night she was very happy, energetic, and playful when I got home from work, but there ended up being no face to face as she was already upstairs when it was dinner time and she didn't come down in the 25 minutes that Fluffy's was out for.

I did let him come upstairs with me as I sat in the hallway so Sapphire could watch him from her room, without letting him go in.
 

calicosrspecial

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The last interaction, I was giving them treats close together and then he went to her. This in turn caused Sapphire to swat at Fluffy and then he jumped on her and they wrestled before I caught Fluffy. There was no chase involved which is what is making me believe it was the chase and the cornering that made Sapphire so scared/cautious of him.

Everything about building her confidence makes sense :).
It is extremely tough to tell how she is going to react with him. Last night she was very happy, energetic, and playful when I got home from work, but there ended up being no face to face as she was already upstairs when it was dinner time and she didn't come down in the 25 minutes that Fluffy's was out for.

I did let him come upstairs with me as I sat in the hallway so Sapphire could watch him from her room, without letting him go in.
"The last interaction, I was giving them treats close together and then he went to her. This in turn caused Sapphire to swat at Fluffy and then he jumped on her and they wrestled before I caught Fluffy. " - Ahhhhh, yes, I remember. It wasn't too big a deal.

"There was no chase involved which is what is making me believe it was the chase and the cornering that made Sapphire so scared/cautious of him." - EXACTLY

"Everything about building her confidence makes sense :)." - Great

"It is extremely tough to tell how she is going to react with him." - Yes :/

Last night she was very happy, energetic, and playful when I got home from work," - Well that is great!!!

" but there ended up being no face to face as she was already upstairs when it was dinner time and she didn't come down in the 25 minutes that Fluffy's was out for." - Ok, that is fine. As long as she is happy, comfortable it is positive. A night like that does build confidence.

"I did let him come upstairs with me as I sat in the hallway so Sapphire could watch him from her room, without letting him go in. " - Great. How did she do? Anytime there is no attack, chase etc (anything negative) it is positive.
 
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"The last interaction, I was giving them treats close together and then he went to her. This in turn caused Sapphire to swat at Fluffy and then he jumped on her and they wrestled before I caught Fluffy. " - Ahhhhh, yes, I remember. It wasn't too big a deal.

"There was no chase involved which is what is making me believe it was the chase and the cornering that made Sapphire so scared/cautious of him." - EXACTLY

"Everything about building her confidence makes sense :)." - Great

"It is extremely tough to tell how she is going to react with him." - Yes :/

Last night she was very happy, energetic, and playful when I got home from work," - Well that is great!!!

" but there ended up being no face to face as she was already upstairs when it was dinner time and she didn't come down in the 25 minutes that Fluffy's was out for." - Ok, that is fine. As long as she is happy, comfortable it is positive. A night like that does build confidence.

"I did let him come upstairs with me as I sat in the hallway so Sapphire could watch him from her room, without letting him go in. " - Great. How did she do? Anytime there is no attack, chase etc (anything negative) it is positive.
She seemed fine when he was in the hallway with me. She was just laying on the rug in her room looking sleepy. I gave her some eye kisses and she may have returned them (it was hard to tell as I just had a standing lamp on and she was already pretty tired so her eyes may have just been a bit closed).

For now at least, it seems that the only way I'll be able to get them face to face without a barrier is to allow Fluffy upstairs in the hallway with me keeping him from going into "her" room. I would imagine that the hissing and growling would start if he went in there even slightly.
 

calicosrspecial

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She seemed fine when he was in the hallway with me. She was just laying on the rug in her room looking sleepy. I gave her some eye kisses and she may have returned them (it was hard to tell as I just had a standing lamp on and she was already pretty tired so her eyes may have just been a bit closed).

For now at least, it seems that the only way I'll be able to get them face to face without a barrier is to allow Fluffy upstairs in the hallway with me keeping him from going into "her" room. I would imagine that the hissing and growling would start if he went in there even slightly.
"She seemed fine when he was in the hallway with me." - Great!!

" She was just laying on the rug in her room looking sleepy. I gave her some eye kisses and she may have returned them (it was hard to tell as I just had a standing lamp on and she was already pretty tired so her eyes may have just been a bit closed)." - Fantastic. SO she is confident, comfortable in her room even with him in visual sight.

"For now at least, it seems that the only way I'll be able to get them face to face without a barrier is to allow Fluffy upstairs in the hallway with me keeping him from going into "her" room." - That is fine. Anything to make a positive encounter and show her that he is not a threat.

" I would imagine that the hissing and growling would start if he went in there even slightly. " - Ok, then for now let's not let him in there. Just keep it as positive as possible. If she decides to come to the threshold then keep him being good.

Great job!!
 
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I think we are slowly making minor progress back to where we were pre-chase but very slowly. All still seems normal as long as Fluffy isn't out roaming. Once again, Sapphire was upstairs relaxing in her room. I knew she most likely wouldn't come downstairs as she had been up there for awhile laying on the bed watching Fluffy while he played in my room. I put her kibble upstairs for her while Fluffy ate downstairs as I know she won't come downstairs to eat it and would just wait until later to eat since she's not a very food motivated cat and kind of just nibbles throughout the night as she sees fit. She made it down a few stairs after a few minutes but once she saw Fluffy laying there she stopped, stared, and then turned around and went right back up. Fluffy got excited and started to chirp a little bit at her but I made sure he couldn't go exploring to find her on his own.

I went upstairs with him twice tonight and just made sure he stayed in the hallway. The first time, Sapphire was only a few feet into her room and she even had some treats while he laid and watched her before she started to growl a bit and I threw the last treat downstairs for him to chase. The second time she was a bit further into the room and I threw two treats which she eventually slowly moved to eat. Fluffy for his part just laid in the hallway watching her, getting up a few times but usually laying down again.

I wanted to try and get pictures or a video, but I was struggling since every time I went to get my phone I guess Fluffy thought it was a treat and would start getting excited and worked up so I couldn't get a video. I will try again at the next opportunity.

Slow progress back to where we were and hopefully if I keep the face to face time upstairs positive she'll eventually start to come back downstairs.

Here is a picture I did take of Sapphire while I was in my room playing with Fluffy.
20211208_201122.jpg
 

calicosrspecial

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I think we are slowly making minor progress back to where we were pre-chase but very slowly. All still seems normal as long as Fluffy isn't out roaming. Once again, Sapphire was upstairs relaxing in her room. I knew she most likely wouldn't come downstairs as she had been up there for awhile laying on the bed watching Fluffy while he played in my room. I put her kibble upstairs for her while Fluffy ate downstairs as I know she won't come downstairs to eat it and would just wait until later to eat since she's not a very food motivated cat and kind of just nibbles throughout the night as she sees fit. She made it down a few stairs after a few minutes but once she saw Fluffy laying there she stopped, stared, and then turned around and went right back up. Fluffy got excited and started to chirp a little bit at her but I made sure he couldn't go exploring to find her on his own.

I went upstairs with him twice tonight and just made sure he stayed in the hallway. The first time, Sapphire was only a few feet into her room and she even had some treats while he laid and watched her before she started to growl a bit and I threw the last treat downstairs for him to chase. The second time she was a bit further into the room and I threw two treats which she eventually slowly moved to eat. Fluffy for his part just laid in the hallway watching her, getting up a few times but usually laying down again.

I wanted to try and get pictures or a video, but I was struggling since every time I went to get my phone I guess Fluffy thought it was a treat and would start getting excited and worked up so I couldn't get a video. I will try again at the next opportunity.

Slow progress back to where we were and hopefully if I keep the face to face time upstairs positive she'll eventually start to come back downstairs.

Here is a picture I did take of Sapphire while I was in my room playing with Fluffy.
View attachment 403771
"I think we are slowly making minor progress back to where we were pre-chase but very slowly." - Great. If it is progress it is great.

" All still seems normal as long as Fluffy isn't out roaming. " - Ok

"Once again, Sapphire was upstairs relaxing in her room. I knew she most likely wouldn't come downstairs as she had been up there for awhile laying on the bed watching Fluffy while he played in my room. I put her kibble upstairs for her while Fluffy ate downstairs as I know she won't come downstairs to eat it and would just wait until later to eat since she's not a very food motivated cat and kind of just nibbles throughout the night as she sees fit." - Ok

" She made it down a few stairs after a few minutes but once she saw Fluffy laying there she stopped, stared, and then turned around and went right back up. " - Ok, how fast did she go back up? Panicked or rushed or just like "I don't want to deal with it"?

"Fluffy got excited and started to chirp a little bit at her but I made sure he couldn't go exploring to find her on his own." - Ok, good job. poor guy, he wants to play so badly. :/

"I went upstairs with him twice tonight and just made sure he stayed in the hallway. The first time, Sapphire was only a few feet into her room and she even had some treats while he laid and watched her before she started to growl a bit and I threw the last treat downstairs for him to chase." - Ok. If she growls just let her and keep him occupied so she can realize he is not a threat.

" The second time she was a bit further into the room and I threw two treats which she eventually slowly moved to eat." - If she moved slower than normal it is her way of telling Fluffy she is not a threat so don't attack me.

" Fluffy for his part just laid in the hallway watching her, getting up a few times but usually laying down again." - GREAT!!! He is doing everything he can for the most part.

"I wanted to try and get pictures or a video, but I was struggling since every time I went to get my phone I guess Fluffy thought it was a treat and would start getting excited and worked up so I couldn't get a video. I will try again at the next opportunity." - Hahahaha, ok

"Slow progress back to where we were and hopefully if I keep the face to face time upstairs positive she'll eventually start to come back downstairs." - Yes. She will (eventually).

Keep up the great work.

"Here is a picture I did take of Sapphire while I was in my room playing with Fluffy. " - She looks great. Maybe one of these days remove the gate while you play with him (but keep him from going in there).

Great work!! You and Fluffy are doing everything you can. She needs to get over her fear and step up. :/
 

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Females, in the best of times, think males are just a pain. But two females together are even worse, they even take longer, because both will fight to claim their domain. They are very territorial and don't like sharing. your little girl is acting perfectly normal, eventually, she will stand up to him and teach him his manners. Remember... growling, hissing, and swatting are perfectly normal. It will happen it just takes time and lots of it.
 
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Graham18

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Females, in the best of times, think males are just a pain. But two females together are even worse, they even take longer, because both will fight to claim their domain. They are very territorial and don't like sharing. your little girl is acting perfectly normal, eventually, she will stand up to him and teach him his manners. Remember... growling, hissing, and swatting are perfectly normal. It will happen it just takes time and lots of it.
That was my initial thought with getting a male as well. I had also thought about a kitten but Fluffy was just so sweet and looked like he had been through a lot and needed a good home so here we are haha.

"I think we are slowly making minor progress back to where we were pre-chase but very slowly." - Great. If it is progress it is great.

" All still seems normal as long as Fluffy isn't out roaming. " - Ok

"Once again, Sapphire was upstairs relaxing in her room. I knew she most likely wouldn't come downstairs as she had been up there for awhile laying on the bed watching Fluffy while he played in my room. I put her kibble upstairs for her while Fluffy ate downstairs as I know she won't come downstairs to eat it and would just wait until later to eat since she's not a very food motivated cat and kind of just nibbles throughout the night as she sees fit." - Ok

" She made it down a few stairs after a few minutes but once she saw Fluffy laying there she stopped, stared, and then turned around and went right back up. " - Ok, how fast did she go back up? Panicked or rushed or just like "I don't want to deal with it"?

"Fluffy got excited and started to chirp a little bit at her but I made sure he couldn't go exploring to find her on his own." - Ok, good job. poor guy, he wants to play so badly. :/

"I went upstairs with him twice tonight and just made sure he stayed in the hallway. The first time, Sapphire was only a few feet into her room and she even had some treats while he laid and watched her before she started to growl a bit and I threw the last treat downstairs for him to chase." - Ok. If she growls just let her and keep him occupied so she can realize he is not a threat.

" The second time she was a bit further into the room and I threw two treats which she eventually slowly moved to eat." - If she moved slower than normal it is her way of telling Fluffy she is not a threat so don't attack me.

" Fluffy for his part just laid in the hallway watching her, getting up a few times but usually laying down again." - GREAT!!! He is doing everything he can for the most part.

"I wanted to try and get pictures or a video, but I was struggling since every time I went to get my phone I guess Fluffy thought it was a treat and would start getting excited and worked up so I couldn't get a video. I will try again at the next opportunity." - Hahahaha, ok

"Slow progress back to where we were and hopefully if I keep the face to face time upstairs positive she'll eventually start to come back downstairs." - Yes. She will (eventually).

Keep up the great work.

"Here is a picture I did take of Sapphire while I was in my room playing with Fluffy. " - She looks great. Maybe one of these days remove the gate while you play with him (but keep him from going in there).

Great work!! You and Fluffy are doing everything you can. She needs to get over her fear and step up. :/
She didn't panic right away when she saw him. She'll usually just stop dead in her tracks, watch for a minute or so then "slink" away upstairs.

This morning she actually came all the way down very briefly before she went back up. She seemed to be a bit less scared to come down when I threw a treat for Fluffy into the kitchen and got a bit more nervous as he was walking back towards me/her.

I took a very boring video upstairs after that. Not much happens at all but here it is.

 

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That was my initial thought with getting a male as well. I had also thought about a kitten but Fluffy was just so sweet and looked like he had been through a lot and needed a good home so here we are haha.


She didn't panic right away when she saw him. She'll usually just stop dead in her tracks, watch for a minute or so then "slink" away upstairs.

This morning she actually came all the way down very briefly before she went back up. She seemed to be a bit less scared to come down when I threw a treat for Fluffy into the kitchen and got a bit more nervous as he was walking back towards me/her.

I took a very boring video upstairs after that. Not much happens at all but here it is.

"That was my initial thought with getting a male as well. I had also thought about a kitten but Fluffy was just so sweet and looked like he had been through a lot and needed a good home so here we are haha." - Fluffy is GORGEOUS AND has a wonderful personality.

"She didn't panic right away when she saw him." - GREAT!! THAT is a BIG DEAL!!

" She'll usually just stop dead in her tracks, watch for a minute or so then "slink" away upstairs." - Ok, she is trying to tell him she is not a threat (by slinking)

"This morning she actually came all the way down very briefly before she went back up." - FANTASTIC!!! Progress. What you are doing is working.

"She seemed to be a bit less scared to come down when I threw a treat for Fluffy into the kitchen" - Great

"and got a bit more nervous as he was walking back towards me/her." - Yes, she needs to trust him more and not fear an attack. That is what we are trying to show her.

"I took a very boring video upstairs after that. Not much happens at all but here it is." - Ok, let's see

Video - THAT is GREAT!!! She sees him, looks relaxed, comfortable. He is good. EXACTLY what we want to keep doing so she can trust him. GREAT job!!!
 
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Graham18

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Sapphire seems to be getting more comfortable upstairs at least with Fluffy around. She's still a bit cautious, but she'll come within a few feet of him sometimes for a treat. Last night she even finished eating her wet food which was in the middle of her room with her back to Fluffy in the hallway while he watched (he went into my room to try and finish his food while she was finishing hers but his was already done so he was just licking an empty dish).

Downstairs seems to be the problem. Sapphire was relaxing on an ottoman that's now in the place where the cushions used to be, but went upstairs as soon as I was getting ready to let Fluffy out for kibble (this was prior to the face to face time upstairs). After the face to face time when I was back downstairs with Fluffy, eventually Sapphire made it to the top of the stairs and just sat there for a few minutes. I brought her kibble bowl up there to try and entice her to stay for a bit which seemed to semi work. Fluffy was doing his thing and would try and get passed me at times to go see her but eventually would give up for a few minutes.

She still seems perfectly comfortable downstairs when he isn't there. She spent almost an hour laying on me yesterday evening practically right on my face.

Here is a picture I snapped of when she was sitting at the top of the stairs prior to coming down a bit further for food.

20211209_204458.jpg
 

calicosrspecial

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Sapphire seems to be getting more comfortable upstairs at least with Fluffy around. She's still a bit cautious, but she'll come within a few feet of him sometimes for a treat. Last night she even finished eating her wet food which was in the middle of her room with her back to Fluffy in the hallway while he watched (he went into my room to try and finish his food while she was finishing hers but his was already done so he was just licking an empty dish).

Downstairs seems to be the problem. Sapphire was relaxing on an ottoman that's now in the place where the cushions used to be, but went upstairs as soon as I was getting ready to let Fluffy out for kibble (this was prior to the face to face time upstairs). After the face to face time when I was back downstairs with Fluffy, eventually Sapphire made it to the top of the stairs and just sat there for a few minutes. I brought her kibble bowl up there to try and entice her to stay for a bit which seemed to semi work. Fluffy was doing his thing and would try and get passed me at times to go see her but eventually would give up for a few minutes.

She still seems perfectly comfortable downstairs when he isn't there. She spent almost an hour laying on me yesterday evening practically right on my face.

Here is a picture I snapped of when she was sitting at the top of the stairs prior to coming down a bit further for food.

View attachment 403871
My goodness, is she just so gorgeous or what?!?!?!?!?!? I just love her.

"Sapphire seems to be getting more comfortable upstairs at least with Fluffy around. She's still a bit cautious, but she'll come within a few feet of him sometimes for a treat. Last night she even finished eating her wet food which was in the middle of her room with her back to Fluffy in the hallway while he watched (he went into my room to try and finish his food while she was finishing hers but his was already done so he was just licking an empty dish)." - THIS is TERRIFIC!!! I think what you are doing is working. Keep it up.

"Downstairs seems to be the problem." - Ok, one step at a time. If she is ok upstairs she will eventually downstairs.

" Sapphire was relaxing on an ottoman that's now in the place where the cushions used to be, but went upstairs as soon as I was getting ready to let Fluffy out for kibble (this was prior to the face to face time upstairs). " - Ok, as long as nothing negative happened that is ok. And even better that she was ok face to face upstairs after this. Reinforces that he isn't really a threat.

"After the face to face time when I was back downstairs with Fluffy, eventually Sapphire made it to the top of the stairs and just sat there for a few minutes." - Great. I am guessing this is the pic and in the pic she looks cautious but fine.

" I brought her kibble bowl up there to try and entice her to stay for a bit which seemed to semi work." - Great

" Fluffy was doing his thing and would try and get passed me at times to go see her but eventually would give up for a few minutes." - Great so he didn't chase. Nothing negative.

"She still seems perfectly comfortable downstairs when he isn't there. She spent almost an hour laying on me yesterday evening practically right on my face." - PERFECT!!!! Other than the face thing ;) Hahahaha

"Here is a picture I snapped of when she was sitting at the top of the stairs prior to coming down a bit further for food. " - She looks good.

Well, really good progress. Let's continue taking it slow, keep doing what you are doing. We need her to build that trust and confidence. Don't make it into a big deal, act like everything is fine and normal. Let's see how she does. Hopefully she gets to a point where the reward of being with you downstairs is greater than any irrational fears she may have.

Keep up the great work. Great update
 
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Hello and good morning!
More progress last night. Sapphire actually stayed downstairs and ate some food for a bit before going upstairs to nap and I took a (semi boring) video. After the video, nothing too exciting happened. Fluffy just laid down in the dining room and Sapphire slowly made her way down from the cat tree. When I knew she was going to jump to the floor I had a treat ready to throw to Fluffy since that's the time when he usually likes to try and chase her. He started to get up but went for the treat instead.


After that we played a bit more before bed as I didn't want to over do it.
 

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Hello and good morning!
More progress last night. Sapphire actually stayed downstairs and ate some food for a bit before going upstairs to nap and I took a (semi boring) video. After the video, nothing too exciting happened. Fluffy just laid down in the dining room and Sapphire slowly made her way down from the cat tree. When I knew she was going to jump to the floor I had a treat ready to throw to Fluffy since that's the time when he usually likes to try and chase her. He started to get up but went for the treat instead.


After that we played a bit more before bed as I didn't want to over do it.
"Hello and good morning!" - Good morning

"More progress last night." - Great

" Sapphire actually stayed downstairs and ate some food for a bit before going upstairs to nap and I took a (semi boring) video." - Terrific!!!

" After the video, nothing too exciting happened. Fluffy just laid down in the dining room and Sapphire slowly made her way down from the cat tree." - Great

" When I knew she was going to jump to the floor I had a treat ready to throw to Fluffy since that's the time when he usually likes to try and chase her. He started to get up but went for the treat instead. " - Terrific. Exactly what we want to show Sapphire that a treat is more interesting to him than her.

Video - Wow, she looked AMAZING!!! She looked calm, confident. Perfect. He was great. At some point in the next few days let Fluffy come a bit closer and give him some love (safely) or let him rub on your legs. So for him to be near but not focused on Sapphire.

"After that we played a bit more before bed as I didn't want to over do it." - Perfect

Let's take it slow, keep doing what you are doing, make it as positive as possible, keep him from going after her, keep building her confidence. But I think we are back on track. Hopefully she learned something from this. Fingers crossed.

Keep up the great work. :)
 
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We had anor successful face to face downstairs again. It would seem Sapphire is almost back to her previous self.

She hate her kibble up on the the cat tree and I let Fluffy come a little bit closer. He's being such a good boy and he laid down by my feet instead of trying to go to his sister. Sapphire even came down to the floor near him for some treats and she seemed content though a bit cautious still.

Once Fluffy's back was turned that was when she took her opportunity to go upstairs, but it is still progress none the less.

At an earlier point yesterday, as I was going into my room to see Fluffy, Sapphire trotted up to the gate as I opened it to see him and they sniffed eachother and then pawed at eachother a bit. Of course Sapphire hissed but she didn't stop with the pawing for at least ten seconds and then just walked away.
 

calicosrspecial

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We had anor successful face to face downstairs again. It would seem Sapphire is almost back to her previous self.

She hate her kibble up on the the cat tree and I let Fluffy come a little bit closer. He's being such a good boy and he laid down by my feet instead of trying to go to his sister. Sapphire even came down to the floor near him for some treats and she seemed content though a bit cautious still.

Once Fluffy's back was turned that was when she took her opportunity to go upstairs, but it is still progress none the less.

At an earlier point yesterday, as I was going into my room to see Fluffy, Sapphire trotted up to the gate as I opened it to see him and they sniffed eachother and then pawed at eachother a bit. Of course Sapphire hissed but she didn't stop with the pawing for at least ten seconds and then just walked away.
"We had anor successful face to face downstairs again. It would seem Sapphire is almost back to her previous self." - GREAT!!!

She hate her kibble up on the the cat tree" - Great

" and I let Fluffy come a little bit closer." - Ok, for now let's really make sure it stays positive.

" He's being such a good boy and he laid down by my feet instead of trying to go to his sister. " - WOW!!! GREAT BOY!!!!

"Sapphire even came down to the floor near him for some treats and she seemed content" - GREAT!!! The trust is building. Now we need to keep reinforcing it. My mistake last time was thinking she was ready and she wasn't.

" though a bit cautious still." - Understandable but fine. That is part of the process.

"Once Fluffy's back was turned that was when she took her opportunity to go upstairs, " - Ok, that is fine. She went further and was ok. That builds confidence. Did she move up the stairs cautiously like before?

"but it is still progress none the less." - ABSOLUTELY!!! This is absolutely positive.

"At an earlier point yesterday, as I was going into my room to see Fluffy, Sapphire trotted up to the gate as I opened it to see him" - Wow, that is progress. Love it

" and they sniffed eachother and then pawed at eachother a bit." - Ok how aggressive was it?

" Of course Sapphire hissed" - Not an issue.

" but she didn't stop with the pawing for at least ten seconds" - Ok was it playful? I do love she did not back down.

"and then just walked away." - LOVE IT!!! Turning her back on him is a sign of trust. Was the gate up at that point? I am guessing it was.

Overall, really positive. Keep reinforcing this. We need her to build her confidence and her trust of him through positive encounters.

But great. We are back on track!! GREAT JOB!!!
 
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"We had anor successful face to face downstairs again. It would seem Sapphire is almost back to her previous self." - GREAT!!!

She hate her kibble up on the the cat tree" - Great

" and I let Fluffy come a little bit closer." - Ok, for now let's really make sure it stays positive.

" He's being such a good boy and he laid down by my feet instead of trying to go to his sister. " - WOW!!! GREAT BOY!!!!

"Sapphire even came down to the floor near him for some treats and she seemed content" - GREAT!!! The trust is building. Now we need to keep reinforcing it. My mistake last time was thinking she was ready and she wasn't.

" though a bit cautious still." - Understandable but fine. That is part of the process.

"Once Fluffy's back was turned that was when she took her opportunity to go upstairs, " - Ok, that is fine. She went further and was ok. That builds confidence. Did she move up the stairs cautiously like before?

"but it is still progress none the less." - ABSOLUTELY!!! This is absolutely positive.

"At an earlier point yesterday, as I was going into my room to see Fluffy, Sapphire trotted up to the gate as I opened it to see him" - Wow, that is progress. Love it

" and they sniffed eachother and then pawed at eachother a bit." - Ok how aggressive was it?

" Of course Sapphire hissed" - Not an issue.

" but she didn't stop with the pawing for at least ten seconds" - Ok was it playful? I do love she did not back down.

"and then just walked away." - LOVE IT!!! Turning her back on him is a sign of trust. Was the gate up at that point? I am guessing it was.

Overall, really positive. Keep reinforcing this. We need her to build her confidence and her trust of him through positive encounters.

But great. We are back on track!! GREAT JOB!!!
She moved upstairs a bit cautiously but not as much as before. Still slow but didn't really look as scared.

I don't believe that the pawing was aggressive, at least not on Fluffy's part. He looked like he was trying to play and Sapphire wasn't overly aggressive either, more so swatting back at him as if he was swatting at her. And the gate was up.

I will see how things are going tonight. Only two minor things from today so far. First I was carrying Fluffy upstairs to my room while Sapphire was on her cat tree and as I walked by fairly close to her, she started to growl and her ears went down and to the side. A little later on after getting home from gift shopping, I put Sapphire in her room so I could bring Fluffy out. After a little bit, Sapphire was jumping at her door wanting to come out so unopened I opened the door just a crack so her and Fluffy could smell eachother and paw at eachother through the crack. Everything seemed alright and not overly aggressive, again at least from Fluffy. It just got him worked up and excited.

Truthfully, I don't really know what I'm supposed to be looking for anymore with Sapphire to help determine when she's ready or not. Based on everything, I also thought she would have been ready the last time as well.
 
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calicosrspecial

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She moved upstairs a bit cautiously but not as much as before. Still slow but didn't really look as scared.

I don't believe that the pawing was aggressive, at least not on Fluffy's part. He looked like he was trying to play and Sapphire wasn't overly aggressive either, more so swatting back at him as if he was swatting at her. And the gate was up.

I will see how things are going tonight. Only two minor things from today so far. First I was carrying Fluffy upstairs to my room while Sapphire was on her cat tree and as I walked by fairly close to her, she started to growl and her ears went down and to the side. A little later on after getting home from gift shopping, I put Sapphire in her room so I could bring Fluffy out. After a little bit, Sapphire was jumping at her door wanting to come out so unopened I opened the door just a crack so her and Fluffy could smell eachother and paw at eachother through the crack. Everything seemed alright and not overly aggressive, again at least from Fluffy. It just got him worked up and excited.
"She moved upstairs a bit cautiously but not as much as before. Still slow but didn't really look as scared." - Great

"I don't believe that the pawing was aggressive, at least not on Fluffy's part. He looked like he was trying to play and Sapphire wasn't overly aggressive either, more so swatting back at him as if he was swatting at her. And the gate was up." - Ok, figured on Fluffy and the gate. And Sapphire is ok given she didn't seem to run away or act "differently". So overall, ok.

"I will see how things are going tonight. " - Ok, if in doubt just hold back a touch.

" Only two minor things from today so far." - Ok

" First I was carrying Fluffy upstairs to my room while Sapphire was on her cat tree and as I walked by fairly close to her, she started to growl and her ears went down and to the side. " - Ok, I am not at all bothered by that. Nothing negative happened so it is not a big deal.

"A little later on after getting home from gift shopping, I put Sapphire in her room so I could bring Fluffy out. After a little bit, Sapphire was jumping at her door wanting to come out so unopened I opened the door just a crack so her and Fluffy could smell eachother and paw at eachother through the crack. Everything seemed alright and not overly aggressive, again at least from Fluffy. It just got him worked up and excited." - Interesting she wanted out. That is positive. Ok, on the pawing. I would probably try to not have that going on for now but it sounds like it was fine. Yes, he wants to play desperately. :/

Sounds fine. Just keep it positive tonight. We just have to keep it up until we get Sapphire to think "enough is enough, I no longer am afraid of him".

Keep up the great work!!
 
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