Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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So far her biggest reaction (if she even sees him) is a hiss in his direction or a growl when he gets too close. I notice he tends to do the sneaky run when she's eating a treat or not paying attention to him so she usually doesn't see.

He's also very playful when he's alone with me for the most part. He will play when I'm in one of the rooms with him or when he's out fully on his own (except in the morning). He only really stops playing lately when he sees Sapphire. When we are in a room behind I gate I can usually get him to start playing again but it takes awhile.

I don't think you're missing anything. If anything I'm possibly missing small details but that could be it.
"So far her biggest reaction (if she even sees him) is a hiss in his direction or a growl when he gets too close." - Well that is great. Love to hear that.

"I notice he tends to do the sneaky run when she's eating a treat or not paying attention to him so she usually doesn't see." - Of course, that is fun!!! She knows what he is up to............................... ;) They are much more aware than you realize though I do suspect she trusts him a fair amount so the food is more interesting than reacting to his shenanigans.

"He's also very playful when he's alone with me for the most part. He will play when I'm in one of the rooms with him or when he's out fully on his own (except in the morning)." - Great. Play builds confidence.

I would like to see Sapphire playing as well.

"He only really stops playing lately when he sees Sapphire." - Of course because a sister is fair more interesting than toy!!! ;)

" When we are in a room behind I gate I can usually get him to start playing again but it takes awhile." - Great. He must realize she is unavailable.

"I don't think you're missing anything. If anything I'm possibly missing small details but that could be it." - Ok, great. Any small detail if significant would not be giving us these results of their relationship.

I think it is going great. Keep up the great work and let me know how they are doing. Great job!!
 
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Graham18

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"So far her biggest reaction (if she even sees him) is a hiss in his direction or a growl when he gets too close." - Well that is great. Love to hear that.

"I notice he tends to do the sneaky run when she's eating a treat or not paying attention to him so she usually doesn't see." - Of course, that is fun!!! She knows what he is up to............................... ;) They are much more aware than you realize though I do suspect she trusts him a fair amount so the food is more interesting than reacting to his shenanigans.

"He's also very playful when he's alone with me for the most part. He will play when I'm in one of the rooms with him or when he's out fully on his own (except in the morning)." - Great. Play builds confidence.

I would like to see Sapphire playing as well.

"He only really stops playing lately when he sees Sapphire." - Of course because a sister is fair more interesting than toy!!! ;)

" When we are in a room behind I gate I can usually get him to start playing again but it takes awhile." - Great. He must realize she is unavailable.

"I don't think you're missing anything. If anything I'm possibly missing small details but that could be it." - Ok, great. Any small detail if significant would not be giving us these results of their relationship.

I think it is going great. Keep up the great work and let me know how they are doing. Great job!!
I try and play with Sapphire as much as she wants to play. Usually we'll have a little play session after Fluffy goes to bed when she is really hyper. She tends to sleep most of the day and is active at night, but she also prefers to relax and get pets and hugs more so than play, although sometimes she'll start hitting a little jingly ball letting me know it's play time.

Things still seem to be going okay. Fluffy is still being Fluffy and really wanting to see his sister instead of wandering around or laying down. Last night was fairly straightforward with Sapphire sitting and watching him and him trying to go to her either straight forward or by trying to sneak around me. This morning was the same, except Sapphire was laying on the cardboard bed the whole time and only briefly got up to eat and hiss at Fluffy.

I'm still really unsure how to go about letting them interact. Fluffy's speed seems to pick up as soon as he's in range of Sapphire and I know full well he's getting ready to run and jump on her. I don't know how I should proceed.
 

calicosrspecial

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I try and play with Sapphire as much as she wants to play. Usually we'll have a little play session after Fluffy goes to bed when she is really hyper. She tends to sleep most of the day and is active at night, but she also prefers to relax and get pets and hugs more so than play, although sometimes she'll start hitting a little jingly ball letting me know it's play time.

Things still seem to be going okay. Fluffy is still being Fluffy and really wanting to see his sister instead of wandering around or laying down. Last night was fairly straightforward with Sapphire sitting and watching him and him trying to go to her either straight forward or by trying to sneak around me. This morning was the same, except Sapphire was laying on the cardboard bed the whole time and only briefly got up to eat and hiss at Fluffy.

I'm still really unsure how to go about letting them interact. Fluffy's speed seems to pick up as soon as he's in range of Sapphire and I know full well he's getting ready to run and jump on her. I don't know how I should proceed.
"I try and play with Sapphire as much as she wants to play. " - Great

"Usually we'll have a little play session after Fluffy goes to bed when she is really hyper." - Perfect

"She tends to sleep most of the day and is active at night," - Yep normal cat behavior.

" but she also prefers to relax and get pets and hugs more so than play," - That builds confidence as well. That is good too.

" although sometimes she'll start hitting a little jingly ball letting me know it's play time." - Awwwwwwwww

"Things still seem to be going okay. Fluffy is still being Fluffy and really wanting to see his sister instead of wandering around or laying down. Last night was fairly straightforward with Sapphire sitting and watching him and him trying to go to her either straight forward or by trying to sneak around me. " - Great, I think that is better than Ok.

"This morning was the same, except Sapphire was laying on the cardboard bed the whole time and only briefly got up to eat and hiss at Fluffy." - Sounds great to me

"I'm still really unsure how to go about letting them interact. Fluffy's speed seems to pick up as soon as he's in range of Sapphire and I know full well he's getting ready to run and jump on her." - Yes. Well, we need them to work it out. We can only do so much and they need to take over some. :/ I KNOW it is hard but it is needed. Sapphire and Fluffy might just surprise you. (In a good way)

"I don't know how I should proceed. " - Keep doing what you are doing and maybe this weekend or next we need to let them interact and see how it goes, see how they act after, etc. :/ I knw it is hard but we do need them to step up. Fluffy wants to play so badly, she is doing really well. It might be a bit wild BUT I don't see him hurting her. He needs to get it out of his system.

Start preparing mentally. :) AND keep up the great work!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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"I try and play with Sapphire as much as she wants to play. " - Great

"Usually we'll have a little play session after Fluffy goes to bed when she is really hyper." - Perfect

"She tends to sleep most of the day and is active at night," - Yep normal cat behavior.

" but she also prefers to relax and get pets and hugs more so than play," - That builds confidence as well. That is good too.

" although sometimes she'll start hitting a little jingly ball letting me know it's play time." - Awwwwwwwww

"Things still seem to be going okay. Fluffy is still being Fluffy and really wanting to see his sister instead of wandering around or laying down. Last night was fairly straightforward with Sapphire sitting and watching him and him trying to go to her either straight forward or by trying to sneak around me. " - Great, I think that is better than Ok.

"This morning was the same, except Sapphire was laying on the cardboard bed the whole time and only briefly got up to eat and hiss at Fluffy." - Sounds great to me

"I'm still really unsure how to go about letting them interact. Fluffy's speed seems to pick up as soon as he's in range of Sapphire and I know full well he's getting ready to run and jump on her." - Yes. Well, we need them to work it out. We can only do so much and they need to take over some. :/ I KNOW it is hard but it is needed. Sapphire and Fluffy might just surprise you. (In a good way)

"I don't know how I should proceed. " - Keep doing what you are doing and maybe this weekend or next we need to let them interact and see how it goes, see how they act after, etc. :/ I knw it is hard but we do need them to step up. Fluffy wants to play so badly, she is doing really well. It might be a bit wild BUT I don't see him hurting her. He needs to get it out of his system.

Start preparing mentally. :) AND keep up the great work!!! :)
Perfect thank you. I will see about this weekend. I'm taking an emergency work trip at the end of next week so I will be gone next weekend until Sunday evening.

Thank you for your help again. Anything at all helps me feel better about the whole process :)
 

calicosrspecial

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Perfect thank you. I will see about this weekend. I'm taking an emergency work trip at the end of next week so I will be gone next weekend until Sunday evening.

Thank you for your help again. Anything at all helps me feel better about the whole process :)
"Perfect thank you. I will see about this weekend." - Ok

" I'm taking an emergency work trip at the end of next week so I will be gone next weekend until Sunday evening." - Oh my, I hope all goes well with the work trip.

Given that, since you may be a bit stressed next week we can just stay in the status quo and then pick up after you come back and decompress. They might be a bit stressed from you leaving so we can see how they do then get back on track.

"Thank you for your help again. " - You are very welcome.

"Anything at all helps me feel better about the whole process :) " - Hahahahaha, hmmmmm, not sure how I should take that. ;) But seriously, try not to get too hung up on everything, they are doing great and they are going to be fine. They are pretty much intro'd so we just need the final hurdle (the fever broken - Fluffy to finally get to interact with her) and we'll be set. :) PLEASE just try not to stress much, appreciate them and all the progress and enjoy them. :)

Talk soon and keep up the great work!!!
 
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Hello!
Nothing major to report in updates. Things have essentially stayed as they were with no major issues. Dinner (and sometimes breakfast) together with the same very minor things as before. A few small hisses and growls from Sapphire getting Fluffy worked up, and then the usual with Fluffy not wanting to leave Sapphire alone and just relax leading to constant distractions, as well as one attempted rush while she wasn't paying attention. Sapphire doesn't seem to be that scared or nervous around him however, with just a bit of nervousness at first, and she's back to her normal playful self otherwise. She will also spend quite a bit of time sitting opposite the gate of him just watching and if he sticks his paw out she just gives it a quick smack and either walks away or continues to sit.

I've been struggling to find a balance of who gets to be out and when as Fluffy just cries from the moment he's locked up so I've been trying to bring him out as much as possible even if it means I have to lure Sapphire into her room. I tried bringing him out with her for a bit yesterday in the early afternoon, but it becomes quite stressful keeping him distracted so he will leave her alone.

I think that I am the reason I'm not allowing them interaction right now. I know they will get into a wrestling match and yet I'm still holding back. I don't know where to begin with letting them interact as I don't want him to suddenly charge her or sneak up on her so I'm unsure even how to begin.

I've also been avoiding too much as my partner has a very bad cold and is bed ridden and I don't think I could manage a wrestling/screaming match alone.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello!
Nothing major to report in updates. Things have essentially stayed as they were with no major issues. Dinner (and sometimes breakfast) together with the same very minor things as before. A few small hisses and growls from Sapphire getting Fluffy worked up, and then the usual with Fluffy not wanting to leave Sapphire alone and just relax leading to constant distractions, as well as one attempted rush while she wasn't paying attention. Sapphire doesn't seem to be that scared or nervous around him however, with just a bit of nervousness at first, and she's back to her normal playful self otherwise. She will also spend quite a bit of time sitting opposite the gate of him just watching and if he sticks his paw out she just gives it a quick smack and either walks away or continues to sit.

I've been struggling to find a balance of who gets to be out and when as Fluffy just cries from the moment he's locked up so I've been trying to bring him out as much as possible even if it means I have to lure Sapphire into her room. I tried bringing him out with her for a bit yesterday in the early afternoon, but it becomes quite stressful keeping him distracted so he will leave her alone.

I think that I am the reason I'm not allowing them interaction right now. I know they will get into a wrestling match and yet I'm still holding back. I don't know where to begin with letting them interact as I don't want him to suddenly charge her or sneak up on her so I'm unsure even how to begin.

I've also been avoiding too much as my partner has a very bad cold and is bed ridden and I don't think I could manage a wrestling/screaming match alone.
"Hello!" - Hello

"Nothing major to report in updates. Things have essentially stayed as they were with no major issues. " - Ok, great

"Dinner (and sometimes breakfast) together with the same very minor things as before. " - Ok, great. It is hard to get better than it has been so far.

"A few small hisses and growls from Sapphire getting Fluffy worked up," - Ok, if that s as bad as it is that is fine.

" and then the usual with Fluffy not wanting to leave Sapphire alone and just relax leading to constant distractions, as well as one attempted rush while she wasn't paying attention." - Ok. Expected.

" Sapphire doesn't seem to be that scared or nervous around him however," - THAT is GREAT!!!

"with just a bit of nervousness at first, " - OK, that is not bad.

"and she's back to her normal playful self otherwise." - Great

" She will also spend quite a bit of time sitting opposite the gate of him just watching and if he sticks his paw out she just gives it a quick smack and either walks away or continues to sit." - Awwwwwww. Yep, they are getting ready to have more access.

"I've been struggling to find a balance of who gets to be out and when as Fluffy just cries from the moment he's locked up so I've been trying to bring him out as much as possible even if it means I have to lure Sapphire into her room. " - Ok, maybe we can just let them be together?

"I tried bringing him out with her for a bit yesterday in the early afternoon," - Ok, good

" but it becomes quite stressful keeping him distracted so he will leave her alone." - Stressful for you or for you and Sapphire?

"I think that I am the reason I'm not allowing them interaction right now." - Ok, that is really good to know. Good from the standpoint of where they are AND good from the standpoint you are aware of yourself.

" I know they will get into a wrestling match and yet I'm still holding back. I don't know where to begin with letting them interact as I don't want him to suddenly charge her or sneak up on her so I'm unsure even how to begin." - Well, I think you are getting closer. We can only do so much and then they need to take over. We get their trust and confidence to the point where they can handle it and work it out. You ahve done a great job getting them there!!

"I've also been avoiding too much as my partner has a very bad cold and is bed ridden" - Oh my, I hope you partner gets well soon.

" and I don't think I could manage a wrestling/screaming match alone. " - Well, I think you could handle it BUT I am sure you are stressed and therefore the cats are probably more so (though they don't seem to be acting like it). Just keep doing what you are doing and when you feel better (and your partner) let's let them interact and work it out themselves. What happens after will be telling - how they rebound, how they act, etc. It might cause a blip but they are going to be just fine. We are at the point they need to finalize the intro. :) It is tougher for the humans than for the cats unfortunately BUT you can do it!!! :)

Keep up the great work!!
 
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Graham18

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Once again we find ourselves in the exact same situation! :)
We are! This last bit is such a struggle and I totally know it's me that isn't allowing things to proceed.

"Hello!" - Hello

"Nothing major to report in updates. Things have essentially stayed as they were with no major issues. " - Ok, great

"Dinner (and sometimes breakfast) together with the same very minor things as before. " - Ok, great. It is hard to get better than it has been so far.

"A few small hisses and growls from Sapphire getting Fluffy worked up," - Ok, if that s as bad as it is that is fine.

" and then the usual with Fluffy not wanting to leave Sapphire alone and just relax leading to constant distractions, as well as one attempted rush while she wasn't paying attention." - Ok. Expected.

" Sapphire doesn't seem to be that scared or nervous around him however," - THAT is GREAT!!!

"with just a bit of nervousness at first, " - OK, that is not bad.

"and she's back to her normal playful self otherwise." - Great

" She will also spend quite a bit of time sitting opposite the gate of him just watching and if he sticks his paw out she just gives it a quick smack and either walks away or continues to sit." - Awwwwwww. Yep, they are getting ready to have more access.

"I've been struggling to find a balance of who gets to be out and when as Fluffy just cries from the moment he's locked up so I've been trying to bring him out as much as possible even if it means I have to lure Sapphire into her room. " - Ok, maybe we can just let them be together?

"I tried bringing him out with her for a bit yesterday in the early afternoon," - Ok, good

" but it becomes quite stressful keeping him distracted so he will leave her alone." - Stressful for you or for you and Sapphire?

"I think that I am the reason I'm not allowing them interaction right now." - Ok, that is really good to know. Good from the standpoint of where they are AND good from the standpoint you are aware of yourself.

" I know they will get into a wrestling match and yet I'm still holding back. I don't know where to begin with letting them interact as I don't want him to suddenly charge her or sneak up on her so I'm unsure even how to begin." - Well, I think you are getting closer. We can only do so much and then they need to take over. We get their trust and confidence to the point where they can handle it and work it out. You ahve done a great job getting them there!!

"I've also been avoiding too much as my partner has a very bad cold and is bed ridden" - Oh my, I hope you partner gets well soon.

" and I don't think I could manage a wrestling/screaming match alone. " - Well, I think you could handle it BUT I am sure you are stressed and therefore the cats are probably more so (though they don't seem to be acting like it). Just keep doing what you are doing and when you feel better (and your partner) let's let them interact and work it out themselves. What happens after will be telling - how they rebound, how they act, etc. It might cause a blip but they are going to be just fine. We are at the point they need to finalize the intro. :) It is tougher for the humans than for the cats unfortunately BUT you can do it!!! :)

Keep up the great work!!
The constant distraction is definitely stressful for me haha. Sapphire only seems a bit stressed at first before warming up and really not caring that much that Fluffy is out with her. Last night she was happily trying to get treats out of a puzzle ball while I kept Fluffy distracted. He did try his little sneak once or twice when he got excited but as usual I stopped him, especially because at least once her back was turned to him.

I will see how I am feeling tonight, but as you suggested recently, I may just stick to the status quo this week. Between the sickness in the house, stress at work, and traveling for work on Thursday (my flight is at 5am Thursday so Wednesday night is a write off), I will most likely wait until I return, as I don't think I could handle the impending wrestling and screaming right now.

At least I know that it's me that's holding them back and I know what to expect, but I also know that they need to have these wrestling matches to keep (hopefully), moving forward as I think we've reached about as far as we're going to get with the face to face sessions (though Fluffy COULD ignore her a bit more, but it's unlikely).
 

calicosrspecial

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We are! This last bit is such a struggle and I totally know it's me that isn't allowing things to proceed.


The constant distraction is definitely stressful for me haha. Sapphire only seems a bit stressed at first before warming up and really not caring that much that Fluffy is out with her. Last night she was happily trying to get treats out of a puzzle ball while I kept Fluffy distracted. He did try his little sneak once or twice when he got excited but as usual I stopped him, especially because at least once her back was turned to him.

I will see how I am feeling tonight, but as you suggested recently, I may just stick to the status quo this week. Between the sickness in the house, stress at work, and traveling for work on Thursday (my flight is at 5am Thursday so Wednesday night is a write off), I will most likely wait until I return, as I don't think I could handle the impending wrestling and screaming right now.

At least I know that it's me that's holding them back and I know what to expect, but I also know that they need to have these wrestling matches to keep (hopefully), moving forward as I think we've reached about as far as we're going to get with the face to face sessions (though Fluffy COULD ignore her a bit more, but it's unlikely).
"The constant distraction is definitely stressful for me haha. " - Yes and understandably. See if you can just hang out with them. And at some point just let them negotiate. Sure it might be a chase, etc but they need to figure it out and do their part.

"Sapphire only seems a bit stressed at first before warming up and really not caring that much that Fluffy is out with her." - Exactly. There is more trust there than we may realize.

" Last night she was happily trying to get treats out of a puzzle ball while I kept Fluffy distracted. He did try his little sneak once or twice when he got excited but as usual I stopped him," - Great

" especially because at least once her back was turned to him." The fact she had her back to him tells us that she does trust him.

"I will see how I am feeling tonight, but as you suggested recently, I may just stick to the status quo this week. Between the sickness in the house, stress at work, and traveling for work on Thursday (my flight is at 5am Thursday so Wednesday night is a write off), I will most likely wait until I return, as I don't think I could handle the impending wrestling and screaming right now." - I think that is fine.

"At least I know that it's me that's holding them back and I know what to expect," - :) BUT I would not be hard on yourself. It is not like you are "holding them back" in a negative way. You just need t learn to trust them as much as they trust each other. You will get there. It will get a bit messy but they will work it out. They are fine.

" but I also know that they need to have these wrestling matches to keep (hopefully), moving forward as I think we've reached about as far as we're going to get with the face to face sessions " - Well, they need to do their part and you have given them the trust and confidence to be able to come to terms with their rules.

"(though Fluffy COULD ignore her a bit more, but it's unlikely). " - Hahahaha, well, yeah, but a young, energetic, friendly cat avoiding his playmate sister?????? Probably not going to happen. ;) But what he does it out of acceptance, fun, family rather than negative.

Keep up the great work, they are going to be fine. :)
 
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Graham18

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Hello!
I'm back from my work trip and things seem to be going okay/normal!
My mom looked after the cats on Thursday and Friday evening and she had Fluffy out with Sapphire (on his harness as she doesn't really know how to distract him). She told me that Sapphire would just lay on her cat tree and Fluffy would look out the window, or take her on a walk to the backdoor to look for me but both seemed perfectly fine. My partner said they were fine as well during dinner Saturday and breakfast this morning with just a few hisses from Sapphire.

I brought them out for dinner after spending some time with each of them when I got home late this evening and all seemed well. Sapphire didn't seem too concerned with Fluffy and Fluffy was being Fluffy always trying to go see his sister (he did lay down eventually). From what I can somewhat tell, Sapphire doesn't seem to care about him that much anymore. She ate some kibble, came over for a few treats and watches Fluffy for a minute, then turned around, licked her paws a few times and then went upstairs to relax and my bed.

I'm thinking about letting them interact at some point this week (aka a wrestling match), but I'm still very unsure how to go about it so I suppose we will see!
 
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I ended up getting too nervous to let Fluffy go to Sapphire for an interaction, but overall it was a good dinner/face to face time.

Sapphire came close to me for treats while I was sitting in the middle of the room but she did seem a bit nervous. When Fluffy came over, I distracted him with a treat and then surprisingly he just laid down right beside me and started purring at me while Sapphire sat about a foot away. She was VERY growly towards him, but for the most part he didn't seem to get too worked up by it. When I did sense him getting a bit worked up, I would throw a treat for him to run after. I just repeated this a few times with no real problems from Fluffy and just growling from Sapphire. Eventually, while Fluffy was busy down the house looking for a treat I threw, Sapphire got really hyper/playful and ran upstairs (Im pretty sure it was playful as her body language and run were the same as when she wants me to play with her or chase her). I spent a little bit hanging out with Fluffy who was very uncharacteristically lazy and quiet and spent most of the time just laying down with some slight playing before he went to his room and was ready for bed.

He may have been a bit tired as I had just played with him and he probably isn't used to the time change yet so it was technically passed his usual bed time.

I'll continue to work towards getting the courage to just let them be and seeing how it goes. I'd like to see Sapphire less nervous and growly but I'm feeling like that may not happen.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello!
I'm back from my work trip and things seem to be going okay/normal!
My mom looked after the cats on Thursday and Friday evening and she had Fluffy out with Sapphire (on his harness as she doesn't really know how to distract him). She told me that Sapphire would just lay on her cat tree and Fluffy would look out the window, or take her on a walk to the backdoor to look for me but both seemed perfectly fine. My partner said they were fine as well during dinner Saturday and breakfast this morning with just a few hisses from Sapphire.

I brought them out for dinner after spending some time with each of them when I got home late this evening and all seemed well. Sapphire didn't seem too concerned with Fluffy and Fluffy was being Fluffy always trying to go see his sister (he did lay down eventually). From what I can somewhat tell, Sapphire doesn't seem to care about him that much anymore. She ate some kibble, came over for a few treats and watches Fluffy for a minute, then turned around, licked her paws a few times and then went upstairs to relax and my bed.

I'm thinking about letting them interact at some point this week (aka a wrestling match), but I'm still very unsure how to go about it so I suppose we will see!
I am so sorry, I am having computer issues so I may be unavailable at times the next several days. We are not good at comptues so this is very stressful.

"Hello!
I'm back from my work trip and things seem to be going okay/normal!" _ hello, Welcome back!!!

"My mom looked after the cats on Thursday and Friday evening and she had Fluffy out with Sapphire (on his harness as she doesn't really know how to distract him). She told me that Sapphire would just lay on her cat tree and Fluffy would look out the window, or take her on a walk to the backdoor to look for me but both seemed perfectly fine. My partner said they were fine as well during dinner Saturday and breakfast this morning with just a few hisses from Sapphire." - That is terrific!!!

"I brought them out for dinner after spending some time with each of them when I got home late this evening and all seemed well." - GREAT!!

" Sapphire didn't seem too concerned with Fluffy and Fluffy was being Fluffy always trying to go see his sister (he did lay down eventually). From what I can somewhat tell, Sapphire doesn't seem to care about him that much anymore. She ate some kibble, came over for a few treats and watches Fluffy for a minute, then turned around, licked her paws a few times and then went upstairs to relax and my bed." - Well THAT is terrific!!!

"I'm thinking about letting them interact at some point this week (aka a wrestling match)," - Great

" but I'm still very unsure how to go about it so I suppose we will see! " - Well, just be relaxed, calm and confident. Let them know you love them. Hang out. If they get into it don't panic calmly walk over, use words first, then if needed cardboard. They need to do their part and Fluffy doesn't want to hurt her and I highly doubt she would do something serious to him. But let's "talk" before you do it. But your emotions will be very important. So just feel the love you have for them.

"I ended up getting too nervous to let Fluffy go to Sapphire for an interaction, but overall it was a good dinner/face to face time." - Ok, that is fine. Your emotions are important. But try to feel what they are feeling as well.

"Sapphire came close to me for treats while I was sitting in the middle of the room but she did seem a bit nervous." - Ok, expected

" When Fluffy came over, I distracted him with a treat and then surprisingly he just laid down right beside me and started purring at me while Sapphire sat about a foot away." - AMAZING!!!!

" She was VERY growly towards him," - That is ok if it deters him.

"but for the most part he didn't seem to get too worked up by it." - GREAT!!!

" When I did sense him getting a bit worked up, I would throw a treat for him to run after. " - PERFECT!!

"I just repeated this a few times with no real problems from Fluffy and just growling from Sapphire." - Great

" Eventually, while Fluffy was busy down the house looking for a treat I threw, Sapphire got really hyper/playful and ran upstairs (Im pretty sure it was playful as her body language and run were the same as when she wants me to play with her or chase her)." - Fantastic

" I spent a little bit hanging out with Fluffy who was very uncharacteristically lazy and quiet and spent most of the time just laying down with some slight playing before he went to his room and was ready for bed." - AMazing!!!

"He may have been a bit tired as I had just played with him and he probably isn't used to the time change yet so it was technically passed his usual bed time." - Great. Even better. I like to do intros when they are really full with a meal.

"I'll continue to work towards getting the courage to just let them be and seeing how it goes." - Great BUT this sounds absolutely wonderful!!

" I'd like to see Sapphire less nervous and growly but I'm feeling like that may not happen. " - Sure but we go with what we have and she did well and Fluffy did AMAZINGLY well!!!

I think you had success!!! Rinse and repeat. ;)

REALLY GREAT JOB!!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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I am so sorry, I am having computer issues so I may be unavailable at times the next several days. We are not good at comptues so this is very stressful.

"Hello!
I'm back from my work trip and things seem to be going okay/normal!" _ hello, Welcome back!!!

"My mom looked after the cats on Thursday and Friday evening and she had Fluffy out with Sapphire (on his harness as she doesn't really know how to distract him). She told me that Sapphire would just lay on her cat tree and Fluffy would look out the window, or take her on a walk to the backdoor to look for me but both seemed perfectly fine. My partner said they were fine as well during dinner Saturday and breakfast this morning with just a few hisses from Sapphire." - That is terrific!!!

"I brought them out for dinner after spending some time with each of them when I got home late this evening and all seemed well." - GREAT!!

" Sapphire didn't seem too concerned with Fluffy and Fluffy was being Fluffy always trying to go see his sister (he did lay down eventually). From what I can somewhat tell, Sapphire doesn't seem to care about him that much anymore. She ate some kibble, came over for a few treats and watches Fluffy for a minute, then turned around, licked her paws a few times and then went upstairs to relax and my bed." - Well THAT is terrific!!!

"I'm thinking about letting them interact at some point this week (aka a wrestling match)," - Great

" but I'm still very unsure how to go about it so I suppose we will see! " - Well, just be relaxed, calm and confident. Let them know you love them. Hang out. If they get into it don't panic calmly walk over, use words first, then if needed cardboard. They need to do their part and Fluffy doesn't want to hurt her and I highly doubt she would do something serious to him. But let's "talk" before you do it. But your emotions will be very important. So just feel the love you have for them.

"I ended up getting too nervous to let Fluffy go to Sapphire for an interaction, but overall it was a good dinner/face to face time." - Ok, that is fine. Your emotions are important. But try to feel what they are feeling as well.

"Sapphire came close to me for treats while I was sitting in the middle of the room but she did seem a bit nervous." - Ok, expected

" When Fluffy came over, I distracted him with a treat and then surprisingly he just laid down right beside me and started purring at me while Sapphire sat about a foot away." - AMAZING!!!!

" She was VERY growly towards him," - That is ok if it deters him.

"but for the most part he didn't seem to get too worked up by it." - GREAT!!!

" When I did sense him getting a bit worked up, I would throw a treat for him to run after. " - PERFECT!!

"I just repeated this a few times with no real problems from Fluffy and just growling from Sapphire." - Great

" Eventually, while Fluffy was busy down the house looking for a treat I threw, Sapphire got really hyper/playful and ran upstairs (Im pretty sure it was playful as her body language and run were the same as when she wants me to play with her or chase her)." - Fantastic

" I spent a little bit hanging out with Fluffy who was very uncharacteristically lazy and quiet and spent most of the time just laying down with some slight playing before he went to his room and was ready for bed." - AMazing!!!

"He may have been a bit tired as I had just played with him and he probably isn't used to the time change yet so it was technically passed his usual bed time." - Great. Even better. I like to do intros when they are really full with a meal.

"I'll continue to work towards getting the courage to just let them be and seeing how it goes." - Great BUT this sounds absolutely wonderful!!

" I'd like to see Sapphire less nervous and growly but I'm feeling like that may not happen. " - Sure but we go with what we have and she did well and Fluffy did AMAZINGLY well!!!

I think you had success!!! Rinse and repeat. ;)

REALLY GREAT JOB!!!! :)
Absolutely no need to apologize :)

Thank you again for the advice and help! I will continue to just see how things are to determine when to let him go to her, possibly even tonight if all goes well. I know that there really isn't a rush and I'm just putting pressure on myself to let it happen haha

I will keep at it :)
 

calicosrspecial

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Absolutely no need to apologize :)

Thank you again for the advice and help! I will continue to just see how things are to determine when to let him go to her, possibly even tonight if all goes well. I know that there really isn't a rush and I'm just putting pressure on myself to let it happen haha

I will keep at it :)
Thank you.

Sounds good. I do think the cats are ready so when you feel comfortable, confident, etc I think that will be a good time. As you said, no rush. Try not to put pressure on yourself. All indications are he really likes her and she is actually kinda warming up to him. I think she wants to play with him just not sure yet. I don't think she actually fears him or if she does it is not that much to cause a real issue.

Hang in there, you have done a great job and they are going to be just fine. The feeling you will get will be pretty amazing when you see them sharing territory fully. :) Just let the love you have for them come through most of the time.
 
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I apologize for not posting any updates. Due to time constraints, face to face time has been very limited in the evenings and I've just been too tired in the mornings so I've been giving Fluffy some time out in the house before work while Sapphire is in her room.

The face to face time, though limited, has been going well. Fluffy has continued to be good and Sapphire is still being Sapphire, hissing or growling when he is close to her.

Tonight totaled about 15 minutes. When I first brought Fluffy out to eat, Sapphire immediately snuck upstairs to lay in her room. She ended up coming down about a minute or two later to eat. She did get a bit nervous at first and hid behind one of the cat trees until Fluffy was off chasing a treat. Once he came back, he just laid beside me and watched her eat. Once she was done she came down for treats nearby with just her usual growls and hisses while Fluffy laid there purring (not sure if he was purring for treats or for her). At times, I can see him get excited, especially when she hisses but he'll usually just keep laying there staring at her and sometimes meow or pur to me (I assume he's saying, look dad I'm being good, can I go play with her now?). Sapphire went upstairs after they had treats and Fluffy went and laid in the dining room. Surprisingly Sapphire actually came back down a few minutes later and sort of just wandered around the living room. Fluffy did want to go see her but I lured him to his room with his feeder ball and that was that.

No real issues. Fluffy has been good and Sapphire has been still a bit nervous/growly/hissy (she even took a random swat at me tonight when I was going to give her a treat but stopped).

I was thinking of possibly trying an interaction on Sunday night if all still seems well. I realized their claws are very sharp and need to be clipped, and tomorrow night, I'll be the only one home so it will probably just be dinner as usual.
 

calicosrspecial

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I apologize for not posting any updates. Due to time constraints, face to face time has been very limited in the evenings and I've just been too tired in the mornings so I've been giving Fluffy some time out in the house before work while Sapphire is in her room.

The face to face time, though limited, has been going well. Fluffy has continued to be good and Sapphire is still being Sapphire, hissing or growling when he is close to her.

Tonight totaled about 15 minutes. When I first brought Fluffy out to eat, Sapphire immediately snuck upstairs to lay in her room. She ended up coming down about a minute or two later to eat. She did get a bit nervous at first and hid behind one of the cat trees until Fluffy was off chasing a treat. Once he came back, he just laid beside me and watched her eat. Once she was done she came down for treats nearby with just her usual growls and hisses while Fluffy laid there purring (not sure if he was purring for treats or for her). At times, I can see him get excited, especially when she hisses but he'll usually just keep laying there staring at her and sometimes meow or pur to me (I assume he's saying, look dad I'm being good, can I go play with her now?). Sapphire went upstairs after they had treats and Fluffy went and laid in the dining room. Surprisingly Sapphire actually came back down a few minutes later and sort of just wandered around the living room. Fluffy did want to go see her but I lured him to his room with his feeder ball and that was that.

No real issues. Fluffy has been good and Sapphire has been still a bit nervous/growly/hissy (she even took a random swat at me tonight when I was going to give her a treat but stopped).

I was thinking of possibly trying an interaction on Sunday night if all still seems well. I realized their claws are very sharp and need to be clipped, and tomorrow night, I'll be the only one home so it will probably just be dinner as usual.
"I apologize for not posting any updates." - No reason to apologize.

" Due to time constraints, face to face time has been very limited in the evenings and I've just been too tired in the mornings " - Understandable and not an issue.

"so I've been giving Fluffy some time out in the house before work while Sapphire is in her room." - Great. Is Sapphire's door closed or a gate up?

"The face to face time, though limited, has been going well. Fluffy has continued to be good" - GREAT!!!

" and Sapphire is still being Sapphire, hissing or growling when he is close to her." - As long as it doesn't lead to a fight etc that is fine.

"Tonight totaled about 15 minutes." - Great

" When I first brought Fluffy out to eat, Sapphire immediately snuck upstairs to lay in her room." - Totally fine

" She ended up coming down about a minute or two later to eat." - GREAT!!!

" She did get a bit nervous at first and hid behind one of the cat trees until Fluffy was off chasing a treat." - That is fine. If he is behaving that is totally fine.

" Once he came back, he just laid beside me and watched her eat." - WOW!! AMAZING!!!

" Once she was done she came down for treats nearby with just her usual growls and hisses while Fluffy laid there purring (not sure if he was purring for treats or for her). " - FANTASTIC!!!

"At times, I can see him get excited, especially when she hisses but he'll usually just keep laying there staring at her and sometimes meow or pur to me (I assume he's saying, look dad I'm being good, can I go play with her now?)." - WOW!! He is learning!!! This is really great!!!

" Sapphire went upstairs after they had treats and Fluffy went and laid in the dining room. Surprisingly Sapphire actually came back down a few minutes later and sort of just wandered around the living room. " - FANTASTIC!!!

"Fluffy did want to go see her but I lured him to his room with his feeder ball and that was that." - Great job. We will have to let him go up to her and let her deal with it fairly soon.

"No real issues." - Agreed!!

" Fluffy has been good " _ AMAZINGLY GREAT!!!

"and Sapphire has been still a bit nervous/growly/hissy" - Yes but that is her. I do think she is trying to entice him in some way.

" (she even took a random swat at me tonight when I was going to give her a treat but stopped)." - Hmmmmmmm, did you approach her from above her head or from behind? Did she know it was you to begin with? GREAT she stopped.

"I was thinking of possibly trying an interaction on Sunday night if all still seems well." - Great

" I realized their claws are very sharp and need to be clipped, and tomorrow night, I'll be the only one home so it will probably just be dinner as usual. " - Ok, sounds good. Try not to put s much pressure on yourself. They are going to be fine. So when you feel comfortable then they will be ready. He is doing great and she I think wants to play with him but is unsure or doesn't really know how to go about it. It might be a bit wild the first few times but I thin they will work it out and get over it quickly.

Fantastic, keep up the great work. :)
 
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Graham18

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"I apologize for not posting any updates." - No reason to apologize.

" Due to time constraints, face to face time has been very limited in the evenings and I've just been too tired in the mornings " - Understandable and not an issue.

"so I've been giving Fluffy some time out in the house before work while Sapphire is in her room." - Great. Is Sapphire's door closed or a gate up?

"The face to face time, though limited, has been going well. Fluffy has continued to be good" - GREAT!!!

" and Sapphire is still being Sapphire, hissing or growling when he is close to her." - As long as it doesn't lead to a fight etc that is fine.

"Tonight totaled about 15 minutes." - Great

" When I first brought Fluffy out to eat, Sapphire immediately snuck upstairs to lay in her room." - Totally fine

" She ended up coming down about a minute or two later to eat." - GREAT!!!

" She did get a bit nervous at first and hid behind one of the cat trees until Fluffy was off chasing a treat." - That is fine. If he is behaving that is totally fine.

" Once he came back, he just laid beside me and watched her eat." - WOW!! AMAZING!!!

" Once she was done she came down for treats nearby with just her usual growls and hisses while Fluffy laid there purring (not sure if he was purring for treats or for her). " - FANTASTIC!!!

"At times, I can see him get excited, especially when she hisses but he'll usually just keep laying there staring at her and sometimes meow or pur to me (I assume he's saying, look dad I'm being good, can I go play with her now?)." - WOW!! He is learning!!! This is really great!!!

" Sapphire went upstairs after they had treats and Fluffy went and laid in the dining room. Surprisingly Sapphire actually came back down a few minutes later and sort of just wandered around the living room. " - FANTASTIC!!!

"Fluffy did want to go see her but I lured him to his room with his feeder ball and that was that." - Great job. We will have to let him go up to her and let her deal with it fairly soon.

"No real issues." - Agreed!!

" Fluffy has been good " _ AMAZINGLY GREAT!!!

"and Sapphire has been still a bit nervous/growly/hissy" - Yes but that is her. I do think she is trying to entice him in some way.

" (she even took a random swat at me tonight when I was going to give her a treat but stopped)." - Hmmmmmmm, did you approach her from above her head or from behind? Did she know it was you to begin with? GREAT she stopped.

"I was thinking of possibly trying an interaction on Sunday night if all still seems well." - Great

" I realized their claws are very sharp and need to be clipped, and tomorrow night, I'll be the only one home so it will probably just be dinner as usual. " - Ok, sounds good. Try not to put s much pressure on yourself. They are going to be fine. So when you feel comfortable then they will be ready. He is doing great and she I think wants to play with him but is unsure or doesn't really know how to go about it. It might be a bit wild the first few times but I thin they will work it out and get over it quickly.

Fantastic, keep up the great work. :)
Hello :)
Usually Sapphires door is closed when Fluffy is out. He far too often wants to go try and find her and I don't have it in me to keep following him around the house haha.

Her giving me a wack was just something she does when she's nervous. It's never very forceful, usually just a warning that she doesn't want to be petted at the time and to leave her alone, at which point I'll just talk to her instead.

Things went well for two face to face times yesterday. In the afternoon, Fluffy did get ready to chase her once, however she ran upstairs in what, at least to my eyes, looked somewhat playful. No other change. Just Sapphire either growling or hissing at him getting him excited, but not enough yet for him to lunge at her.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello :)
Usually Sapphires door is closed when Fluffy is out. He far too often wants to go try and find her and I don't have it in me to keep following him around the house haha.

Her giving me a wack was just something she does when she's nervous. It's never very forceful, usually just a warning that she doesn't want to be petted at the time and to leave her alone, at which point I'll just talk to her instead.

Things went well for two face to face times yesterday. In the afternoon, Fluffy did get ready to chase her once, however she ran upstairs in what, at least to my eyes, looked somewhat playful. No other change. Just Sapphire either growling or hissing at him getting him excited, but not enough yet for him to lunge at her.
"Hello :)" - Hello!!! Good start seeing a smiley face!!!

"Usually Sapphires door is closed when Fluffy is out. He far too often wants to go try and find her and I don't have it in me to keep following him around the house haha." - Ok, understandable.

"Her giving me a wack was just something she does when she's nervous. It's never very forceful, usually just a warning that she doesn't want to be petted at the time and to leave her alone, at which point I'll just talk to her instead." - Ok, great you recognize and respect her wishes. Great job.

"Things went well for two face to face times yesterday." - GREAT!!!

" In the afternoon, Fluffy did get ready to chase her once," - Ok, how so, did you stop him?

" however she ran upstairs in what, at least to my eyes, looked somewhat playful. " - Interesting. I really think that is her "way". Very interesting.

"No other change. " - Great

"Just Sapphire either growling or hissing at him getting him excited, but not enough yet for him to lunge at her. " - Ok. Can you get video of that? GREAT he is behaving. I just wonder if she is wanting to get him to play..............................

Pretty exciting, sounds great. Hopefully you can do a "hang out" session and see how it goes. Just be relaxed, calm, confident, act like all is well. Try to get one of them to hang with you (safely). Stuff like that. Just feel the love you have for them and let them know it. :)

They are ready. :)

Keep up the great work!! Amazing!!!! :)
 
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