Help/Advice for introductions

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Graham18

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I think he definitely goes for her directly each time, although it's not often anymore. This morning was a prime example. I gave them breakfast as usual and then they were out together for about 20 minutes distracting as needed. Sapphire seemed nervous but also playful. I was giving them pets and treats about two feet from eachother and Fluffy was acting as good as can be, ignoring her, laying down, etc. A few minutes later he wandered off and then came back so I was doing the same thing and then out of the blue, he tried to lunge straight at her with no warning. He only managed to get a few centimeters before I stopped him, but sapphire was already scared and growling at him and then she took off to her room upstairs.

Fluffy acts like a kitten in a full grown cats body haha. It makes allowing interaction tough because I would like him to go up to her calmly so she could tell him to back off, but given the opportunity, he will try and lunge at her as soon as he gets close which usually scares her because it comes out of no where.
I'm also not quite sure what it is, but when Sapphire hisses or growls at Fluffy that's when he seems to get worked up. I haven't determined yet if he thinks she wants to play when she hisses/growls at him or if it triggers him to be defensive/aggressive. He's so fast in those situations I can't really get a fix on his body language.
 

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The last bit is by far the worst part. I was hoping he wouldn't try and play with him and they would just sniff and go about their way but I guess that's not the case yet.

Sapphire was smacking him and hitting him through the gates this morning as well and he just ignored her completely haha
"The last bit is by far the worst part." - Yes but if that is the worst it is pretty good.

" I was hoping he wouldn't try and play with him and they would just sniff and go about their way but I guess that's not the case yet." - Hahahaha, well, they are cats and he does like her so.................................

"Sapphire was smacking him and hitting him through the gates this morning as well and he just ignored her completely haha " - Hahahahaha. He knows her, what she is all about.

Kakers post -

"We always have a cardboard handy in case to separate and block view," - Exactly the right thing

" and it's definitely a high stress breath holding situation" - This is important. Cats take on our emotions so the more calm and confident we are the more they tend to be. BUT it is really hard since we don't want them getting hurt, etc. But the more stressed and nervous we are the more they will be and the more on edge they will be.

"but it's gone better than expected the majority of times" - Probably because the cats don't really want to hurt each other. There is a line and as long as they know that line that is key.

" and when it hasn't gone as well as we've wanted it's taught us what signals to look for that we need to distract/block view/separate more quickly." - EXACTLY. Learning is really important (both for humans and the animals).

" It's so tricky cause I'd love for them to enjoy playing together but also constantly scared that it'll turn into a fight instead." - So true, it is art rather than science. Finding that balance, maximizing positive associations, positive encounters, while minimizing or avoiding negatives. Most negatives can be overcome BUT we don't want a watershed negative that destroys trust, etc. It isn't always easy BUT it works pretty much all the time following the process.

"It's tough cause on the positive side, it could go great, they could communicate and feel each other out and be OK and there's great progress like we want " - Yes, the key is to give them enough to figure out BUT not too much to have a serious negative that can be a significant drag on progress and trust and confidence.

"but there's always the chance it doesn't go great and we have to take a step back." - Yes and a step back to regroup is not bad but when they don't have a fast rebound (meaning it was serious) then it takes some work. It really is art.

"I think he definitely goes for her directly each time, although it's not often anymore." - Great it is not that often.

" This morning was a prime example. I gave them breakfast as usual and then they were out together for about 20 minutes distracting as needed." - Great

" Sapphire seemed nervous but also playful." - Great sign she was playful.

" I was giving them pets and treats about two feet from eachother and Fluffy was acting as good as can be, ignoring her, laying down, etc. " - Perfect

"A few minutes later he wandered off and then came back so I was doing the same thing and then out of the blue, he tried to lunge straight at her with no warning. He only managed to get a few centimeters before I stopped him, but sapphire was already scared and growling at him and then she took off to her room upstairs." - Yep, he just so wants to play. :/

"Fluffy acts like a kitten in a full grown cats body haha." - :)

" It makes allowing interaction tough because I would like him to go up to her calmly so she could tell him to back off, but given the opportunity, he will try and lunge at her as soon as he gets close which usually scares her because it comes out of no where." - Yes. He wants to play. She will learn to trust in time. He doesn't want to hurt her and I think she mostly knows that (given she can be near him most of the time). I do wonder if it is a bit of a game to her as well, that she wants him to chase her.............................

"I'm also not quite sure what it is, but when Sapphire hisses or growls at Fluffy that's when he seems to get worked up. " - That is normal. It could be his social skills were lacking (meaning he wasn't around other cats when young). It could be he thinks she wants to play (she isn't serious enough). That might be part of the social skills. Or it could be he feels threatened and therefore responds with force (least likely in my opinion). I would have to see it to interpret it BUT given how they act other I suspect is one or both of the first 2 thoughts.

"I haven't determined yet if he thinks she wants to play when she hisses/growls at him or if it triggers him to be defensive/aggressive." - Ok, yep, same thoughts. I like your cat thinking!!

" He's so fast in those situations I can't really get a fix on his body language." - Yes. BUT how they act after tells us a lot as well. And they act fine after so IF it is defensive/aggressive it is in the moment and not an existential feeling.

They are going to be fine. :) Keep up the great work!!
 

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Hmmm yes if she's getting upset and acting scared, and the hissing and growling works him up I would definitely keep taking things very slow and keep jumping in to distract. He will learn in time that her doing that isn't playful, either from you intervening or her giving him a good bop to give a more clear no. He'll get there! But I can see in the meantime not wanting to risk it turning from a misunderstanding to a full out fight.
 
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No major updates since the lunge yesterday. Both of the cats seemed okay afterwards which reinforces the idea that if Fluffy is getting defensive it's just in the moment. Sapphire is still nervous during the face to face but she eventually warms up slightly. While Fluffy is eating she usually goes somewhere in a corner or behind something so she can watch him. He hasn't been as good with ignoring her these last few days and doesn't usually wander off when he's done eating and has been needing a lot of distraction to keep him away from Sapphire. Last night he did eventually decide he wanted to go look out the window and when he did that Sapphire went up on her cat tree to watch him from there (I took a picture of them). He stayed up there for a good five minutes before he came down and I had to guide him to his room for bed.

This morning he seemed a bit on the energetic side. He was really focused on wherever Sapphire was hiding at the time and wouldn't lay down or wander at all. He DID go up to the window briefly but only for about a minute before jumping down and trying to find Sapphire again.

I'm really hoping he isn't getting defensive with her and rather he does want to play. She seems curious of him most of the time, even if she's tense. If he wanders off she'll try and get into a spot she can see him and her tail will start to wag. After all this time I don't really see her getting more forceful with him which is turning into the main problem. She's trying to tell him to back off, but that communication is simply getting him worked up, but I haven't seen any indication that she will fully hold her ground, especially if he pounces on her. I think his intentions are play and it just escalates from there. The whole thing is kind of a catch 22. Fluffy has more energy because he's sealed in a room most of the day and when he has more energy that just makes him want to play with Sapphire more. If he was out longer, he probably wouldn't have as much energy.

I'll keep at it and try and keep him away from her.
 

calicosrspecial

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No major updates since the lunge yesterday. Both of the cats seemed okay afterwards which reinforces the idea that if Fluffy is getting defensive it's just in the moment. Sapphire is still nervous during the face to face but she eventually warms up slightly. While Fluffy is eating she usually goes somewhere in a corner or behind something so she can watch him. He hasn't been as good with ignoring her these last few days and doesn't usually wander off when he's done eating and has been needing a lot of distraction to keep him away from Sapphire. Last night he did eventually decide he wanted to go look out the window and when he did that Sapphire went up on her cat tree to watch him from there (I took a picture of them). He stayed up there for a good five minutes before he came down and I had to guide him to his room for bed.

This morning he seemed a bit on the energetic side. He was really focused on wherever Sapphire was hiding at the time and wouldn't lay down or wander at all. He DID go up to the window briefly but only for about a minute before jumping down and trying to find Sapphire again.

I'm really hoping he isn't getting defensive with her and rather he does want to play. She seems curious of him most of the time, even if she's tense. If he wanders off she'll try and get into a spot she can see him and her tail will start to wag. After all this time I don't really see her getting more forceful with him which is turning into the main problem. She's trying to tell him to back off, but that communication is simply getting him worked up, but I haven't seen any indication that she will fully hold her ground, especially if he pounces on her. I think his intentions are play and it just escalates from there. The whole thing is kind of a catch 22. Fluffy has more energy because he's sealed in a room most of the day and when he has more energy that just makes him want to play with Sapphire more. If he was out longer, he probably wouldn't have as much energy.

I'll keep at it and try and keep him away from her.
"No major updates since the lunge yesterday." - Ok

" Both of the cats seemed okay afterwards" - GREAT!!

" which reinforces the idea that if Fluffy is getting defensive it's just in the moment." - Maybe. Agreed, what ever it is it is "in the moment" which is fine.

" Sapphire is still nervous during the face to face" - Ok

" but she eventually warms up slightly." - GREAT!!! THAT is the important thing.

" While Fluffy is eating she usually goes somewhere in a corner or behind something so she can watch him." - Awwwwwwww

" He hasn't been as good with ignoring her these last few days and doesn't usually wander off when he's done eating and has been needing a lot of distraction to keep him away from Sapphire." - Ok, how is his body language during those times?

" Last night he did eventually decide he wanted to go look out the window and when he did that Sapphire went up on her cat tree to watch him from there (I took a picture of them). He stayed up there for a good five minutes before he came down and I had to guide him to his room for bed." - Well THAT is great!!!

"This morning he seemed a bit on the energetic side. He was really focused on wherever Sapphire was hiding at the time and wouldn't lay down or wander at all. He DID go up to the window briefly but only for about a minute before jumping down and trying to find Sapphire again." - Sounds like he wanted to play and who can blame him?????

"I'm really hoping he isn't getting defensive with her and rather he does want to play." - Well, defensive is not the worst thing. I suspect he wants to play but either way is absolutely not an issue in the end. I do suspect he knows she doesn;t want to hurt him which reduces the probability that he is being defensive.

"She seems curious of him most of the time, even if she's tense." - Yes, she is trying to figure him out and I think trying to figure out how to engage with him.

" If he wanders off she'll try and get into a spot she can see him and her tail will start to wag." - I would have to see it but it sure seems like she wants to play but she is just uncertain.

"After all this time I don't really see her getting more forceful with him which is turning into the main problem."- Well, I am not sure that is really a problem. It would be nice if she told him more forcefully where the line is but they will figure it out.

" She's trying to tell him to back off," - Yes, to some degree it seems.

" but that communication is simply getting him worked up, " - Yes BUT it really matters whether the intent is to hurt or not hurt (seems like not hurt is the intent).

"but I haven't seen any indication that she will fully hold her ground," - Yes but I am sure there is a point (if it goes to far) that she would AND I think he would respect that since I think he has no intention of harming her.

" especially if he pounces on her." - Probably since I don't think the pounce is interpreted as a threat but rather more of an annoyance.

" I think his intentions are play and it just escalates from there. " - Yes but does not escalate into an existential threat.

"The whole thing is kind of a catch 22. Fluffy has more energy because he's sealed in a room most of the day and when he has more energy that just makes him want to play with Sapphire more. If he was out longer, he probably wouldn't have as much energy." - Yes and keep playing as much as possible with him.

"I'll keep at it and try and keep him away from her. " - Well, we want to find the balance between interacting (eating with her, watching etc) and "keeping away. So try to distract with a toy, or treats. But we do need to push them a touch while finding the balance that she is not truly frightened. Often the fear of the unknown is worse than the reality. So she needs to see that his intent s truly not existential but rather rougher play. once that fever breaks it should get them over this final hurdle. BUT we don't want to shock her into a retreat. It is a fine balance.

BUT you are doing great so just keep it up. They are going t be just fine (they pretty much are already).
 
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"No major updates since the lunge yesterday." - Ok

" Both of the cats seemed okay afterwards" - GREAT!!

" which reinforces the idea that if Fluffy is getting defensive it's just in the moment." - Maybe. Agreed, what ever it is it is "in the moment" which is fine.

" Sapphire is still nervous during the face to face" - Ok

" but she eventually warms up slightly." - GREAT!!! THAT is the important thing.

" While Fluffy is eating she usually goes somewhere in a corner or behind something so she can watch him." - Awwwwwwww

" He hasn't been as good with ignoring her these last few days and doesn't usually wander off when he's done eating and has been needing a lot of distraction to keep him away from Sapphire." - Ok, how is his body language during those times?

" Last night he did eventually decide he wanted to go look out the window and when he did that Sapphire went up on her cat tree to watch him from there (I took a picture of them). He stayed up there for a good five minutes before he came down and I had to guide him to his room for bed." - Well THAT is great!!!

"This morning he seemed a bit on the energetic side. He was really focused on wherever Sapphire was hiding at the time and wouldn't lay down or wander at all. He DID go up to the window briefly but only for about a minute before jumping down and trying to find Sapphire again." - Sounds like he wanted to play and who can blame him?????

"I'm really hoping he isn't getting defensive with her and rather he does want to play." - Well, defensive is not the worst thing. I suspect he wants to play but either way is absolutely not an issue in the end. I do suspect he knows she doesn;t want to hurt him which reduces the probability that he is being defensive.

"She seems curious of him most of the time, even if she's tense." - Yes, she is trying to figure him out and I think trying to figure out how to engage with him.

" If he wanders off she'll try and get into a spot she can see him and her tail will start to wag." - I would have to see it but it sure seems like she wants to play but she is just uncertain.

"After all this time I don't really see her getting more forceful with him which is turning into the main problem."- Well, I am not sure that is really a problem. It would be nice if she told him more forcefully where the line is but they will figure it out.

" She's trying to tell him to back off," - Yes, to some degree it seems.

" but that communication is simply getting him worked up, " - Yes BUT it really matters whether the intent is to hurt or not hurt (seems like not hurt is the intent).

"but I haven't seen any indication that she will fully hold her ground," - Yes but I am sure there is a point (if it goes to far) that she would AND I think he would respect that since I think he has no intention of harming her.

" especially if he pounces on her." - Probably since I don't think the pounce is interpreted as a threat but rather more of an annoyance.

" I think his intentions are play and it just escalates from there. " - Yes but does not escalate into an existential threat.

"The whole thing is kind of a catch 22. Fluffy has more energy because he's sealed in a room most of the day and when he has more energy that just makes him want to play with Sapphire more. If he was out longer, he probably wouldn't have as much energy." - Yes and keep playing as much as possible with him.

"I'll keep at it and try and keep him away from her. " - Well, we want to find the balance between interacting (eating with her, watching etc) and "keeping away. So try to distract with a toy, or treats. But we do need to push them a touch while finding the balance that she is not truly frightened. Often the fear of the unknown is worse than the reality. So she needs to see that his intent s truly not existential but rather rougher play. once that fever breaks it should get them over this final hurdle. BUT we don't want to shock her into a retreat. It is a fine balance.

BUT you are doing great so just keep it up. They are going t be just fine (they pretty much are already).
Thank you for the words of encouragement! It gets very difficult sometimes, especially lately because Fluffy just cries from the moment he's put into my room until he gets to come out. Hopefully there are no issues while I'm off of work and they can start to calm down since I won't be allowing any direct interactions while I'm alone at home. I will try and get videos if I can to catch anything of interest.

To answer your question, his body language remains normal. I'd say neutral for the most part. Typically his ears are forward and his tail is usually relaxed (not straight up, but not down either, just in the middle).

I apologize if I did missed any questions from past posts.

Also, I forgot to attach the most recent picture so here it is :)
Fluffy is hard to see because of the darkness but he's looking out the window.
I do apologize for the mess.

20211018_203936.jpg
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you for the words of encouragement! It gets very difficult sometimes, especially lately because Fluffy just cries from the moment he's put into my room until he gets to come out. Hopefully there are no issues while I'm off of work and they can start to calm down since I won't be allowing any direct interactions while I'm alone at home. I will try and get videos if I can to catch anything of interest.

To answer your question, his body language remains normal. I'd say neutral for the most part. Typically his ears are forward and his tail is usually relaxed (not straight up, but not down either, just in the middle).

I apologize if I did missed any questions from past posts.

Also, I forgot to attach the most recent picture so here it is :)
Fluffy is hard to see because of the darkness but he's looking out the window.
I do apologize for the mess.

View attachment 399156
"Thank you for the words of encouragement!" - You are welcome. When I wrote that response I was not thinking of "words of encouragement" at all. But I'll take it!! :)

" It gets very difficult sometimes," - I know, I can tell you are stressed. Take a step back and try to think about how much you love them, how well they are doing. Try to view all of this in perspective. Don't let the 1% of uncertainty overwhelm the 99% of greatness.

" especially lately because Fluffy just cries from the moment he's put into my room until he gets to come out." - Yes, he is ready to be out. :/ We need to give him more and more of that I think. She might just rise to the challenge. If you accept and feel all is well she jsut may as well.

" Hopefully there are no issues while I'm off of work and they can start to calm down since I won't be allowing any direct interactions while I'm alone at home. " - Oh, I thought you were off now. Don't worry, they will be fine. Just enjoy them and your time off. :)

"I will try and get videos if I can to catch anything of interest." - Sounds great

"To answer your question, his body language remains normal. I'd say neutral for the most part. Typically his ears are forward and his tail is usually relaxed (not straight up, but not down either, just in the middle)." - Great!!! I figured and that tells me it is not an issue at all.

"I apologize if I did missed any questions from past posts." - No need to apologize!!!

"Also, I forgot to attach the most recent picture so here it is :) " - FANTASTIC!!! She looks great. And he is too funny enjoying the sights.

"Fluffy is hard to see because of the darkness but he's looking out the window." - Yep, I had to look for him a bit but saw his tail. ;) Too adorable for words!!

"I do apologize for the mess. " - Oh my goodness, NO NEED to apologize at all!!! Seems like a loving home to me!!! I think that is fantastic!!! :)

Keep up the great work and just try to enjoy them rather than fret about that 1% (which is a very minor 1%). They are doing great!!! :) Keep it up!!!
 
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Graham18

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"Thank you for the words of encouragement!" - You are welcome. When I wrote that response I was not thinking of "words of encouragement" at all. But I'll take it!! :)

" It gets very difficult sometimes," - I know, I can tell you are stressed. Take a step back and try to think about how much you love them, how well they are doing. Try to view all of this in perspective. Don't let the 1% of uncertainty overwhelm the 99% of greatness.

" especially lately because Fluffy just cries from the moment he's put into my room until he gets to come out." - Yes, he is ready to be out. :/ We need to give him more and more of that I think. She might just rise to the challenge. If you accept and feel all is well she jsut may as well.

" Hopefully there are no issues while I'm off of work and they can start to calm down since I won't be allowing any direct interactions while I'm alone at home. " - Oh, I thought you were off now. Don't worry, they will be fine. Just enjoy them and your time off. :)

"I will try and get videos if I can to catch anything of interest." - Sounds great

"To answer your question, his body language remains normal. I'd say neutral for the most part. Typically his ears are forward and his tail is usually relaxed (not straight up, but not down either, just in the middle)." - Great!!! I figured and that tells me it is not an issue at all.

"I apologize if I did missed any questions from past posts." - No need to apologize!!!

"Also, I forgot to attach the most recent picture so here it is :) " - FANTASTIC!!! She looks great. And he is too funny enjoying the sights.

"Fluffy is hard to see because of the darkness but he's looking out the window." - Yep, I had to look for him a bit but saw his tail. ;) Too adorable for words!!

"I do apologize for the mess. " - Oh my goodness, NO NEED to apologize at all!!! Seems like a loving home to me!!! I think that is fantastic!!! :)

Keep up the great work and just try to enjoy them rather than fret about that 1% (which is a very minor 1%). They are doing great!!! :) Keep it up!!!
I did end up bringing Fluffy out with Sapphire for about 20 minutes this morning and all was well 95% of the time. Fluffy wandered a bit and if he got too focused on Sapphire I would just direct him the other way. He even laid down and started grooming his paws and he played a bit. Sapphire looked fairly relaxed most of the time. She went over to eat some food, even played a tiny bit but mostly just laid down and relaxed and watched Fluffy.

The 5% not good wasn't actually that bad but could have been negative. Fluffy was laying in the dining room, just passed the entrance to the hall where his room is. Sapphire walked over and went into this hallway. As soon as she got close Fluffy got up as expected and I didn't have treats on me to distract so I just held him in place hoping that Sapphire would move away. He was peaking around the corner trying to see her (tail thrashing, nose pointed straight at her, heavy breathing/sighing). When Sapphire started to growl at him, as expected he got really worked up and really wanted to lunge at her. I ended up just picking him up and Sapphire walked away so I could put him back behind baby gates. Ended up getting some pretty hard bites from him on my upper arm (he latched on pretty hard when I put him down and was pulling on my skin, no bleeding, just hard bites and pulling). After that Sapphire went upstairs to eat some more and I just let Fluffy calm down.
 

calicosrspecial

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I did end up bringing Fluffy out with Sapphire for about 20 minutes this morning and all was well 95% of the time. Fluffy wandered a bit and if he got too focused on Sapphire I would just direct him the other way. He even laid down and started grooming his paws and he played a bit. Sapphire looked fairly relaxed most of the time. She went over to eat some food, even played a tiny bit but mostly just laid down and relaxed and watched Fluffy.

The 5% not good wasn't actually that bad but could have been negative. Fluffy was laying in the dining room, just passed the entrance to the hall where his room is. Sapphire walked over and went into this hallway. As soon as she got close Fluffy got up as expected and I didn't have treats on me to distract so I just held him in place hoping that Sapphire would move away. He was peaking around the corner trying to see her (tail thrashing, nose pointed straight at her, heavy breathing/sighing). When Sapphire started to growl at him, as expected he got really worked up and really wanted to lunge at her. I ended up just picking him up and Sapphire walked away so I could put him back behind baby gates. Ended up getting some pretty hard bites from him on my upper arm (he latched on pretty hard when I put him down and was pulling on my skin, no bleeding, just hard bites and pulling). After that Sapphire went upstairs to eat some more and I just let Fluffy calm down.
"I did end up bringing Fluffy out with Sapphire for about 20 minutes this morning and all was well 95% of the time." - Great

" Fluffy wandered a bit and if he got too focused on Sapphire I would just direct him the other way. He even laid down and started grooming his paws and he played a bit. Sapphire looked fairly relaxed most of the time. She went over to eat some food, even played a tiny bit but mostly just laid down and relaxed and watched Fluffy." - Perfect!!

"The 5% not good wasn't actually that bad but could have been negative." - Ok, let's see

" Fluffy was laying in the dining room, just passed the entrance to the hall where his room is. Sapphire walked over and went into this hallway." - Ok, impressive she was that confident

" As soon as she got close Fluffy got up as expected and I didn't have treats on me to distract so I just held him in place hoping that Sapphire would move away." - Ok

" He was peaking around the corner trying to see her (tail thrashing, nose pointed straight at her, heavy breathing/sighing)." - Yep, he wanted to play

" When Sapphire started to growl at him, as expected he got really worked up and really wanted to lunge at her." - Yep

" I ended up just picking him up and Sapphire walked away so I could put him back behind baby gates. " - Ok

"Ended up getting some pretty hard bites from him on my upper arm (he latched on pretty hard when I put him down and was pulling on my skin, no bleeding, just hard bites and pulling). " - Ughhhhhhhhhh. Well, good that he didn't break the skin (he doesn't want to hurt you) BUT bad he did it in the first place. I REALLY DO NOT want you to pick him up when he is like that. Mistakes can happen and a bite is not good. :( Sapphire is more capable than you may realize.

"After that Sapphire went upstairs to eat some more and I just let Fluffy calm down. " - Ok, good.

So Sapphire didn't really fear him? I am pretty amazed she is comfortable enough to walk near him. Do you think she was kinda wanting to engage him?

I REALLY DO NOT want you to be at risk of being harmed in any way. Sure they might have a tussle but THAT is a lot better than a bite AND I really think at this point he has no intention of hurting her AND she would get over whatever might happen pretty quickly.

So overall, I would say really positive though I do not like that he did grab and pull BUT it is understandable he did that AND it is very good he knew not to hurt you. I do like she felt comfortable enough to go towards him. He just so wants to play with her. :/ At some point they do need to get that out of their system. :/
 
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"I did end up bringing Fluffy out with Sapphire for about 20 minutes this morning and all was well 95% of the time." - Great

" Fluffy wandered a bit and if he got too focused on Sapphire I would just direct him the other way. He even laid down and started grooming his paws and he played a bit. Sapphire looked fairly relaxed most of the time. She went over to eat some food, even played a tiny bit but mostly just laid down and relaxed and watched Fluffy." - Perfect!!

"The 5% not good wasn't actually that bad but could have been negative." - Ok, let's see

" Fluffy was laying in the dining room, just passed the entrance to the hall where his room is. Sapphire walked over and went into this hallway." - Ok, impressive she was that confident

" As soon as she got close Fluffy got up as expected and I didn't have treats on me to distract so I just held him in place hoping that Sapphire would move away." - Ok

" He was peaking around the corner trying to see her (tail thrashing, nose pointed straight at her, heavy breathing/sighing)." - Yep, he wanted to play

" When Sapphire started to growl at him, as expected he got really worked up and really wanted to lunge at her." - Yep

" I ended up just picking him up and Sapphire walked away so I could put him back behind baby gates. " - Ok

"Ended up getting some pretty hard bites from him on my upper arm (he latched on pretty hard when I put him down and was pulling on my skin, no bleeding, just hard bites and pulling). " - Ughhhhhhhhhh. Well, good that he didn't break the skin (he doesn't want to hurt you) BUT bad he did it in the first place. I REALLY DO NOT want you to pick him up when he is like that. Mistakes can happen and a bite is not good. :( Sapphire is more capable than you may realize.

"After that Sapphire went upstairs to eat some more and I just let Fluffy calm down. " - Ok, good.

So Sapphire didn't really fear him? I am pretty amazed she is comfortable enough to walk near him. Do you think she was kinda wanting to engage him?

I REALLY DO NOT want you to be at risk of being harmed in any way. Sure they might have a tussle but THAT is a lot better than a bite AND I really think at this point he has no intention of hurting her AND she would get over whatever might happen pretty quickly.

So overall, I would say really positive though I do not like that he did grab and pull BUT it is understandable he did that AND it is very good he knew not to hurt you. I do like she felt comfortable enough to go towards him. He just so wants to play with her. :/ At some point they do need to get that out of their system. :/
It's definitely just a force of habit now to hold him back and pick him up in situations like that. In my mind he's going to forcefully charge at her and it won't end well. I should probably have a few treats with me just incase but I am happy that it didn't end negatively and overall, Fluffy is biting a lot less than before. He usually just bites now when he's frustrated but most of the time he stops right away or after telling him no and he calms down within a minute. I think he wasn't properly socialized as a kitten as you've said so that's where a lot of this comes from.

I'm thinking of trying to clicker train him but I'm unsure if it would help at all or if it'll even be possible.
 

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It's definitely just a force of habit now to hold him back and pick him up in situations like that. In my mind he's going to forcefully charge at her and it won't end well. I should probably have a few treats with me just incase but I am happy that it didn't end negatively and overall, Fluffy is biting a lot less than before. He usually just bites now when he's frustrated but most of the time he stops right away or after telling him no and he calms down within a minute. I think he wasn't properly socialized as a kitten as you've said so that's where a lot of this comes from.

I'm thinking of trying to clicker train him but I'm unsure if it would help at all or if it'll even be possible.
"It's definitely just a force of habit now to hold him back and pick him up in situations like that. " - Yes :/

"In my mind he's going to forcefully charge at her and it won't end well." - Understood.

" I should probably have a few treats with me just incase" - Maybe. Or use words, have cardboard near, a toy, etc.

" but I am happy that it didn't end negatively" - Yes agreed.

" and overall, Fluffy is biting a lot less than before." - Yes AND he is not breaking the skin.

" He usually just bites now when he's frustrated but most of the time he stops right away or after telling him no and he calms down within a minute." - Great. He doesn't want to hurt you so that is really good.

"I think he wasn't properly socialized as a kitten as you've said so that's where a lot of this comes from." - Well, with Sapphire probably yes. With the biting, it can come from a lot of things. Most of the time the cat wants to do things on their terms and when that is not possible they tells us in different ways and one way is using teeth. I always try to let them know that they are hurting the person they love and since the human is something good to them they tend to be more careful.

"I'm thinking of trying to clicker train him but I'm unsure if it would help at all or if it'll even be possible. " - I personally don't do it (my clicker is my words, my voice) but people use it successfully. It could help and it is possible I am sure. I don't think there is a downside.
 
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Hello :)

No major updates as everything has been kind of weird this week with me being home all the time.

Fluffy seems to be taking to the clicker training although I'm not really entirely sure what I'm doing, but he seems to be a bit more calm with it.

Nothing too interesting on the introduction front. Sapphire has been acting strangely since it's just been me in the house. She won't eat until hours after I give her food, she sleeps ALL day (normally she sleeps for a few hours in the afternoon but that's it) and then around 9 she starts running around. Last night around 10 she would run downstairs and suddenly look really scared and walk towards the backdoor before taking off back upstairs and running back and forth between the two rooms playing. The face to face time has been pretty short. Sapphire will watch Fluffy eat for about 30 seconds to a minute before running upstairs. I've gone up there and she's usually just sitting in her room staring at me wagging her tail. Last night she came down after about a minute, sort of looked at Fluffy and then ran back upstairs and she did this a few times. Tonight she did the same thing, only when she came back down, Fluffy was watching outside and she ran back upstairs when he jumped off the couch and didn't come back down until he was in his room.

She doesn't look really scared when she goes upstairs. In some cases she goes half way up the stairs, sits and stares and Fluffy for a bit, before walking the rest of the way up. I wouldn't say she's playful when she goes up, but she doesn't seem nervous or scared for the most part either.

Fluffy has been really good as well. He hasn't attempted to chase her at all and has only tried to go to her a few times but was distracted with a treat and/or the clicker. He hasn't really done much in terms of wandering or laying down, but three times he's gone up to the couch to look out the window after Sapphire has gone. He hasn't been acting as strangely as Sapphire has, although he's been very insistent on coming out of my room earlier and earlier and getting him to bed has been a bit of a struggle as he isn't as interested in his feeder ball.

There seems to also be a bit more gate interactions as well. Quite a few times, Sapphire will just walk right up to his gate and they sniff eachother. She gives a few very small hisses but generally just stays there and sniffs. He has stuck his paw out and she'll just sniff his paw. They were pawing back and forth tonight at the gate but it didn't seem too frantic and looked a bit playful, even with Sapphire hissing slightly, until she got bored and just walked away (Fluffy was of course very excited).

Overall I'm not concerned about the change in behavior as this week is quite a change for both of them with myself being home all week, and being the only one home since Wednesday. My mindset also isn't entirely the same with the stress of being home alone, and going back to work next week and of course constantly worrying about the cats, but also at the same time trying to relax and enjoy my time off and not worry so much.

That's all for now :)
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello :)

No major updates as everything has been kind of weird this week with me being home all the time.

Fluffy seems to be taking to the clicker training although I'm not really entirely sure what I'm doing, but he seems to be a bit more calm with it.

Nothing too interesting on the introduction front. Sapphire has been acting strangely since it's just been me in the house. She won't eat until hours after I give her food, she sleeps ALL day (normally she sleeps for a few hours in the afternoon but that's it) and then around 9 she starts running around. Last night around 10 she would run downstairs and suddenly look really scared and walk towards the backdoor before taking off back upstairs and running back and forth between the two rooms playing. The face to face time has been pretty short. Sapphire will watch Fluffy eat for about 30 seconds to a minute before running upstairs. I've gone up there and she's usually just sitting in her room staring at me wagging her tail. Last night she came down after about a minute, sort of looked at Fluffy and then ran back upstairs and she did this a few times. Tonight she did the same thing, only when she came back down, Fluffy was watching outside and she ran back upstairs when he jumped off the couch and didn't come back down until he was in his room.

She doesn't look really scared when she goes upstairs. In some cases she goes half way up the stairs, sits and stares and Fluffy for a bit, before walking the rest of the way up. I wouldn't say she's playful when she goes up, but she doesn't seem nervous or scared for the most part either.

Fluffy has been really good as well. He hasn't attempted to chase her at all and has only tried to go to her a few times but was distracted with a treat and/or the clicker. He hasn't really done much in terms of wandering or laying down, but three times he's gone up to the couch to look out the window after Sapphire has gone. He hasn't been acting as strangely as Sapphire has, although he's been very insistent on coming out of my room earlier and earlier and getting him to bed has been a bit of a struggle as he isn't as interested in his feeder ball.

There seems to also be a bit more gate interactions as well. Quite a few times, Sapphire will just walk right up to his gate and they sniff eachother. She gives a few very small hisses but generally just stays there and sniffs. He has stuck his paw out and she'll just sniff his paw. They were pawing back and forth tonight at the gate but it didn't seem too frantic and looked a bit playful, even with Sapphire hissing slightly, until she got bored and just walked away (Fluffy was of course very excited).

Overall I'm not concerned about the change in behavior as this week is quite a change for both of them with myself being home all week, and being the only one home since Wednesday. My mindset also isn't entirely the same with the stress of being home alone, and going back to work next week and of course constantly worrying about the cats, but also at the same time trying to relax and enjoy my time off and not worry so much.

That's all for now :)
"Hello :) "- - Hello!!!

"No major updates as everything has been kind of weird this week with me being home all the time." - Ok, good nothing major. Hahahaha, kinda weird? I hope good "weird"!!! I hope you are not a workaholic........................ ;)

"Fluffy seems to be taking to the clicker training although I'm not really entirely sure what I'm doing, but he seems to be a bit more calm with it." - Great. Hahahaha, you must be doing something right!!!!! ;)

"Nothing too interesting on the introduction front." - Ok, let's see

" Sapphire has been acting strangely since it's just been me in the house." - Yes, cats do not like change so not surprising.

" She won't eat until hours after I give her food, she sleeps ALL day (normally she sleeps for a few hours in the afternoon but that's it) and then around 9 she starts running around. Last night around 10 she would run downstairs and suddenly look really scared and walk towards the backdoor before taking off back upstairs and running back and forth between the two rooms playing. " - OK, doesn't sound like an issue.

"The face to face time has been pretty short." - Understandable given the change.

" Sapphire will watch Fluffy eat for about 30 seconds to a minute before running upstairs. I've gone up there and she's usually just sitting in her room staring at me wagging her tail. Last night she came down after about a minute, sort of looked at Fluffy and then ran back upstairs and she did this a few times. Tonight she did the same thing, only when she came back down, Fluffy was watching outside and she ran back upstairs when he jumped off the couch and didn't come back down until he was in his room." - Ok. How was her body language in general? THat doesn't sound like an issue. He didn't do anything negative so that is good.

"She doesn't look really scared when she goes upstairs. In some cases she goes half way up the stairs, sits and stares and Fluffy for a bit, before walking the rest of the way up. I wouldn't say she's playful when she goes up, but she doesn't seem nervous or scared for the most part either." - Hmmmmmmmmm, it sure seems like she is trying to get him to chase her/play. Maybe not 100% certain BUT does not sound like she is really scared of him.

"Fluffy has been really good as well. " - GREAT sure sounds like it!!!

"He hasn't attempted to chase her at all and has only tried to go to her a few times but was distracted with a treat and/or the clicker." - Wow, THAT is kinda major, no?????

"He hasn't really done much in terms of wandering or laying down, but three times he's gone up to the couch to look out the window after Sapphire has gone. " - Ok, sounds fine

"He hasn't been acting as strangely as Sapphire has," - Good

" although he's been very insistent on coming out of my room earlier and earlier and getting him to bed has been a bit of a struggle as he isn't as interested in his feeder ball." - Awwwww, he is ready to be out. :/

"There seems to also be a bit more gate interactions as well. Quite a few times, Sapphire will just walk right up to his gate and they sniff eachother. She gives a few very small hisses but generally just stays there and sniffs. He has stuck his paw out and she'll just sniff his paw. " - Awwwww, FANTASTIC!!!

"They were pawing back and forth tonight at the gate but it didn't seem too frantic and looked a bit playful, even with Sapphire hissing slightly, until she got bored and just walked away (Fluffy was of course very excited)." - Awwwwwwwww, sounds good.

"Overall I'm not concerned about the change in behavior as this week is quite a change for both of them with myself being home all week," - TOTALLY AGREE

" and being the only one home since Wednesday." - TOTALLY AGREE

" My mindset also isn't entirely the same with the stress of being home alone, and going back to work next week and of course constantly worrying about the cats, but also at the same time trying to relax and enjoy my time off and not worry so much." - :/ You must still be young to be stressed by being home alone.................. ;) When you get to my age being alone is a vacation!!!! :) Doesn't happen anymore though................... Hahahahaha, sorry, had to get some humor in there. Or try at humor!!!! ;)

But seriously, I don't think you have to worry about the cats so I HOPE that goes away for you. Going back to work, well, yep, THAT will do it BUT try to stay in the moment and enjoy the time off. I hope you can just take a step back, be thankful for all the progress you have made, look at all the positives in life, and just kinda stay in the moment and enjoy the little things. And look forward to your partner coming back.

"That's all for now :) " - Well "THAT" is a lot of good stuff!!! The cats are pretty much there it seems so try to just feel the love you have for them, enjoy them, and enjoy the rest of your time off.

Great job!!!! :)
 
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"Hello :) "- - Hello!!!

"No major updates as everything has been kind of weird this week with me being home all the time." - Ok, good nothing major. Hahahaha, kinda weird? I hope good "weird"!!! I hope you are not a workaholic........................ ;)

"Fluffy seems to be taking to the clicker training although I'm not really entirely sure what I'm doing, but he seems to be a bit more calm with it." - Great. Hahahaha, you must be doing something right!!!!! ;)

"Nothing too interesting on the introduction front." - Ok, let's see

" Sapphire has been acting strangely since it's just been me in the house." - Yes, cats do not like change so not surprising.

" She won't eat until hours after I give her food, she sleeps ALL day (normally she sleeps for a few hours in the afternoon but that's it) and then around 9 she starts running around. Last night around 10 she would run downstairs and suddenly look really scared and walk towards the backdoor before taking off back upstairs and running back and forth between the two rooms playing. " - OK, doesn't sound like an issue.

"The face to face time has been pretty short." - Understandable given the change.

" Sapphire will watch Fluffy eat for about 30 seconds to a minute before running upstairs. I've gone up there and she's usually just sitting in her room staring at me wagging her tail. Last night she came down after about a minute, sort of looked at Fluffy and then ran back upstairs and she did this a few times. Tonight she did the same thing, only when she came back down, Fluffy was watching outside and she ran back upstairs when he jumped off the couch and didn't come back down until he was in his room." - Ok. How was her body language in general? THat doesn't sound like an issue. He didn't do anything negative so that is good.

"She doesn't look really scared when she goes upstairs. In some cases she goes half way up the stairs, sits and stares and Fluffy for a bit, before walking the rest of the way up. I wouldn't say she's playful when she goes up, but she doesn't seem nervous or scared for the most part either." - Hmmmmmmmmm, it sure seems like she is trying to get him to chase her/play. Maybe not 100% certain BUT does not sound like she is really scared of him.

"Fluffy has been really good as well. " - GREAT sure sounds like it!!!

"He hasn't attempted to chase her at all and has only tried to go to her a few times but was distracted with a treat and/or the clicker." - Wow, THAT is kinda major, no?????

"He hasn't really done much in terms of wandering or laying down, but three times he's gone up to the couch to look out the window after Sapphire has gone. " - Ok, sounds fine

"He hasn't been acting as strangely as Sapphire has," - Good

" although he's been very insistent on coming out of my room earlier and earlier and getting him to bed has been a bit of a struggle as he isn't as interested in his feeder ball." - Awwwww, he is ready to be out. :/

"There seems to also be a bit more gate interactions as well. Quite a few times, Sapphire will just walk right up to his gate and they sniff eachother. She gives a few very small hisses but generally just stays there and sniffs. He has stuck his paw out and she'll just sniff his paw. " - Awwwww, FANTASTIC!!!

"They were pawing back and forth tonight at the gate but it didn't seem too frantic and looked a bit playful, even with Sapphire hissing slightly, until she got bored and just walked away (Fluffy was of course very excited)." - Awwwwwwwww, sounds good.

"Overall I'm not concerned about the change in behavior as this week is quite a change for both of them with myself being home all week," - TOTALLY AGREE

" and being the only one home since Wednesday." - TOTALLY AGREE

" My mindset also isn't entirely the same with the stress of being home alone, and going back to work next week and of course constantly worrying about the cats, but also at the same time trying to relax and enjoy my time off and not worry so much." - :/ You must still be young to be stressed by being home alone.................. ;) When you get to my age being alone is a vacation!!!! :) Doesn't happen anymore though................... Hahahahaha, sorry, had to get some humor in there. Or try at humor!!!! ;)

But seriously, I don't think you have to worry about the cats so I HOPE that goes away for you. Going back to work, well, yep, THAT will do it BUT try to stay in the moment and enjoy the time off. I hope you can just take a step back, be thankful for all the progress you have made, look at all the positives in life, and just kinda stay in the moment and enjoy the little things. And look forward to your partner coming back.

"That's all for now :) " - Well "THAT" is a lot of good stuff!!! The cats are pretty much there it seems so try to just feel the love you have for them, enjoy them, and enjoy the rest of your time off.

Great job!!!! :)
I did try again this morning and Sapphire almost immediately ran upstairs (she looked a bit more nervous today than excited), and although Fluffy tried to go look for her I managed to keep him downstairs.

I went up to see him as he was meowing like crazy and they had another batting session at the gate that got a little frantic but then Sapphire just walked away leaving Fluffy wanting to go play more.

Hopefully things improve once everything is back to normal
 

calicosrspecial

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I did try again this morning and Sapphire almost immediately ran upstairs (she looked a bit more nervous today than excited), and although Fluffy tried to go look for her I managed to keep him downstairs.

I went up to see him as he was meowing like crazy and they had another batting session at the gate that got a little frantic but then Sapphire just walked away leaving Fluffy wanting to go play more.

Hopefully things improve once everything is back to normal
"I did try again this morning and Sapphire almost immediately ran upstairs (she looked a bit more nervous today than excited), and although Fluffy tried to go look for her I managed to keep him downstairs." - Ok, doesn't sound like too much of an issue.

"I went up to see him as he was meowing like crazy and they had another batting session at the gate that got a little frantic" - Ok, it can happen

" but then Sapphire just walked away leaving Fluffy wanting to go play more." - LOVE that she waked away. Good sign that it wasn't a big deal.

"Hopefully things improve once everything is back to normal " - Well, yes, they are going to be just fine. I am not at all worried. She is coming around and he is doing great. All is going to be well. :)
 
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Graham18

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"I did try again this morning and Sapphire almost immediately ran upstairs (she looked a bit more nervous today than excited), and although Fluffy tried to go look for her I managed to keep him downstairs." - Ok, doesn't sound like too much of an issue.

"I went up to see him as he was meowing like crazy and they had another batting session at the gate that got a little frantic" - Ok, it can happen

" but then Sapphire just walked away leaving Fluffy wanting to go play more." - LOVE that she waked away. Good sign that it wasn't a big deal.

"Hopefully things improve once everything is back to normal " - Well, yes, they are going to be just fine. I am not at all worried. She is coming around and he is doing great. All is going to be well. :)
Sapphire did run upstairs again last night before I even brought Fluffy out for dinner, but I managed to get her to come back downstairs for a few treats with him before she ran back up. She seemed excited for treats but, a little nervous around Fluffy. She did hiss at him once when he got too close which got him worked up however I threw a treat the opposite way to distract him while she went back upstairs.

I feel so bad for Fluffy. He wants to be out so badly that all he does is stands at the gate either crying or trying to climb it or push it down so he can get out. I hope that introductions return to normal soon so I can attempt to let them interact again.
 

calicosrspecial

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Sapphire did run upstairs again last night before I even brought Fluffy out for dinner, but I managed to get her to come back downstairs for a few treats with him before she ran back up. She seemed excited for treats but, a little nervous around Fluffy. She did hiss at him once when he got too close which got him worked up however I threw a treat the opposite way to distract him while she went back upstairs.

I feel so bad for Fluffy. He wants to be out so badly that all he does is stands at the gate either crying or trying to climb it or push it down so he can get out. I hope that introductions return to normal soon so I can attempt to let them interact again.
"Sapphire did run upstairs again last night before I even brought Fluffy out for dinner," - Ok

" but I managed to get her to come back downstairs for a few treats with him" - Great

" before she ran back up." - Ok

" She seemed excited for treats but, a little nervous around Fluffy." - Ok, must be due to the changes rather than him specifically (since he hasn't done anything to her).

" She did hiss at him once when he got too close " - That isn't an issue

"which got him worked up" - Yes, it will

" however I threw a treat the opposite way to distract him while she went back upstairs." - PERFECT!!! THAT is what is important. He has no intention of her and is more interested in the treats.

"I feel so bad for Fluffy. He wants to be out so badly that all he does is stands at the gate either crying or trying to climb it or push it down so he can get out." - I know :/ But it will not be much longer.

"I hope that introductions return to normal soon so I can attempt to let them interact again." - They will, no need to worry. He is doing great and she will respond.

I do think some of this might just be a game with her................................

Hang in there, they are going to be alright.
 
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"Sapphire did run upstairs again last night before I even brought Fluffy out for dinner," - Ok

" but I managed to get her to come back downstairs for a few treats with him" - Great

" before she ran back up." - Ok

" She seemed excited for treats but, a little nervous around Fluffy." - Ok, must be due to the changes rather than him specifically (since he hasn't done anything to her).

" She did hiss at him once when he got too close " - That isn't an issue

"which got him worked up" - Yes, it will

" however I threw a treat the opposite way to distract him while she went back upstairs." - PERFECT!!! THAT is what is important. He has no intention of her and is more interested in the treats.

"I feel so bad for Fluffy. He wants to be out so badly that all he does is stands at the gate either crying or trying to climb it or push it down so he can get out." - I know :/ But it will not be much longer.

"I hope that introductions return to normal soon so I can attempt to let them interact again." - They will, no need to worry. He is doing great and she will respond.

I do think some of this might just be a game with her................................

Hang in there, they are going to be alright.
Hello! Im sorry for the late response. Work has been quite stressful since I've gone back.

There has been a slight change in Sapphire but nothing major. On Monday night she didn't run away and was up on the smaller cat tree when Fluffy came out. Eventually she came down and ate a bit and pretty much just sat off in the corner while Fluffy would keep trying to walk to her. He thinks he's being smart by walking around me and going towards the window before turning and going towards her.

Last night she was a bit better. First, they were pawing at eachother at the gate upstairs while I was in my room with Fluffy and eventually she just walked a few feet away and sat to watch him. When I carried Fluffy downstairs, she actually followed behind me a few steps back. Once it was supper time, they both are a bit and then it was back to the usual of Fluffy going towards her and needing to be distracted. There were a few times where he actually did go straight to the couch to look out the window, but it was usually short lived and he would jump down after about 30 seconds. Sapphire was sitting on the stairs at one point and he tried his sneaky run at her but I blocked his path and told him no.

Overall, slight improvement from Sapphire (I have been giving her the calming treats again so that may be what's helping). Mornings have been a complete no go still so I haven't even bothered to try. There has also been some small hissing, but nothing major as I haven't let Fluffy get close enough to warrant it. Fluffy is also doing much less wandering and relaxing and is now again, much more focused on going to Sapphire constantly. I've tried to play with him but no luck when she's around. Keeping at it hoping for more improvement!
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello! Im sorry for the late response. Work has been quite stressful since I've gone back.

There has been a slight change in Sapphire but nothing major. On Monday night she didn't run away and was up on the smaller cat tree when Fluffy came out. Eventually she came down and ate a bit and pretty much just sat off in the corner while Fluffy would keep trying to walk to her. He thinks he's being smart by walking around me and going towards the window before turning and going towards her.

Last night she was a bit better. First, they were pawing at eachother at the gate upstairs while I was in my room with Fluffy and eventually she just walked a few feet away and sat to watch him. When I carried Fluffy downstairs, she actually followed behind me a few steps back. Once it was supper time, they both are a bit and then it was back to the usual of Fluffy going towards her and needing to be distracted. There were a few times where he actually did go straight to the couch to look out the window, but it was usually short lived and he would jump down after about 30 seconds. Sapphire was sitting on the stairs at one point and he tried his sneaky run at her but I blocked his path and told him no.

Overall, slight improvement from Sapphire (I have been giving her the calming treats again so that may be what's helping). Mornings have been a complete no go still so I haven't even bothered to try. There has also been some small hissing, but nothing major as I haven't let Fluffy get close enough to warrant it. Fluffy is also doing much less wandering and relaxing and is now again, much more focused on going to Sapphire constantly. I've tried to play with him but no luck when she's around. Keeping at it hoping for more improvement!
"Hello! Im sorry for the late response. Work has been quite stressful since I've gone back." - Oh please do not apologize. I do not need to add to the stress. Hang in there and do your best at work.

"There has been a slight change in Sapphire but nothing major." - Ok, let's see

" On Monday night she didn't run away and was up on the smaller cat tree when Fluffy came out. Eventually she came down and ate a bit and pretty much just sat off in the corner while Fluffy would keep trying to walk to her. He thinks he's being smart by walking around me and going towards the window before turning and going towards her." - Ok, so far that sounds great. That sounds like a positive encounter. Hahahaha, he is smart!!! ;)

"Last night she was a bit better." - Ok, BUT she was good in the prior encounter.

" First, they were pawing at eachother at the gate upstairs while I was in my room with Fluffy and eventually she just walked a few feet away and sat to watch him." - Ok

" When I carried Fluffy downstairs, she actually followed behind me a few steps back." - Great

" Once it was supper time, they both are a bit " - Perfect

"and then it was back to the usual of Fluffy going towards her and needing to be distracted." - Yes, Fluffy loves his sister and want s to be with her, play with her.

"There were a few times where he actually did go straight to the couch to look out the window, " - That is great

"but it was usually short lived and he would jump down after about 30 seconds." - Yes because a sister is much more fun!!!

" Sapphire was sitting on the stairs at one point and he tried his sneaky run at her but I blocked his path and told him no." - Great and how did she react?

"Overall, slight improvement from Sapphire (I have been giving her the calming treats again so that may be what's helping)." - Sapphire did great!!! Maybe they do help.

" Mornings have been a complete no go still so I haven't even bothered to try. " - Ok

"There has also been some small hissing, but nothing major as I haven't let Fluffy get close enough to warrant it." - Ok

" Fluffy is also doing much less wandering and relaxing and is now again, much more focused on going to Sapphire constantly." - Yes he just wants to engage with his sister. We will have to let them more at some point.

" I've tried to play with him but no luck when she's around." - Ok, keep trying. Is he playing without her around?

"Keeping at it hoping for more improvement! " - Yes BUT that is actually really good. Sapphire is doing great, he is responding by feeling like it is an invitation to engage (but she is not totally there yet BUT I think she actually wants to). Just keep it up and maybe this weekend we'll try a bit more leeway so they can engage a bit more.

Keep up the great work!!! I thought this was a great update. Not sure if I am missing something as you don't seem as pleased. Let me know.
 
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Graham18

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"Hello! Im sorry for the late response. Work has been quite stressful since I've gone back." - Oh please do not apologize. I do not need to add to the stress. Hang in there and do your best at work.

"There has been a slight change in Sapphire but nothing major." - Ok, let's see

" On Monday night she didn't run away and was up on the smaller cat tree when Fluffy came out. Eventually she came down and ate a bit and pretty much just sat off in the corner while Fluffy would keep trying to walk to her. He thinks he's being smart by walking around me and going towards the window before turning and going towards her." - Ok, so far that sounds great. That sounds like a positive encounter. Hahahaha, he is smart!!! ;)

"Last night she was a bit better." - Ok, BUT she was good in the prior encounter.

" First, they were pawing at eachother at the gate upstairs while I was in my room with Fluffy and eventually she just walked a few feet away and sat to watch him." - Ok

" When I carried Fluffy downstairs, she actually followed behind me a few steps back." - Great

" Once it was supper time, they both are a bit " - Perfect

"and then it was back to the usual of Fluffy going towards her and needing to be distracted." - Yes, Fluffy loves his sister and want s to be with her, play with her.

"There were a few times where he actually did go straight to the couch to look out the window, " - That is great

"but it was usually short lived and he would jump down after about 30 seconds." - Yes because a sister is much more fun!!!

" Sapphire was sitting on the stairs at one point and he tried his sneaky run at her but I blocked his path and told him no." - Great and how did she react?

"Overall, slight improvement from Sapphire (I have been giving her the calming treats again so that may be what's helping)." - Sapphire did great!!! Maybe they do help.

" Mornings have been a complete no go still so I haven't even bothered to try. " - Ok

"There has also been some small hissing, but nothing major as I haven't let Fluffy get close enough to warrant it." - Ok

" Fluffy is also doing much less wandering and relaxing and is now again, much more focused on going to Sapphire constantly." - Yes he just wants to engage with his sister. We will have to let them more at some point.

" I've tried to play with him but no luck when she's around." - Ok, keep trying. Is he playing without her around?

"Keeping at it hoping for more improvement! " - Yes BUT that is actually really good. Sapphire is doing great, he is responding by feeling like it is an invitation to engage (but she is not totally there yet BUT I think she actually wants to). Just keep it up and maybe this weekend we'll try a bit more leeway so they can engage a bit more.

Keep up the great work!!! I thought this was a great update. Not sure if I am missing something as you don't seem as pleased. Let me know.
So far her biggest reaction (if she even sees him) is a hiss in his direction or a growl when he gets too close. I notice he tends to do the sneaky run when she's eating a treat or not paying attention to him so she usually doesn't see.

He's also very playful when he's alone with me for the most part. He will play when I'm in one of the rooms with him or when he's out fully on his own (except in the morning). He only really stops playing lately when he sees Sapphire. When we are in a room behind I gate I can usually get him to start playing again but it takes awhile.

I don't think you're missing anything. If anything I'm possibly missing small details but that could be it.
 
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