Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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Hello! Just a few small updates.

Monday night, things went smoothly again. The two cats will have treats fairly close to eachother, inches away at some points with minimal issues (the odd growl from Sapphire but no swatting yet). Fluffy seems pretty calm for the most part and will lay down sometimes still while Sapphire watches. At times he will try and walk slowly towards her but I will distract him with either my hand or a treat. Even though Sapphire is calm I can tell she's still a bit tense and unsure and I don't want to rush interaction while they are still doing good having treats together.

Tonight there was a minor incident that luckily didn't end badly. As I was going into my bedroom to play with Fluffy after work, he quickly snuck out through my legs and ran downstairs where Sapphire was laying on the cushions at the bottom of the stairs. I ran after him and called out to my partner to pick up Fluffy. Fluffy however, ran right passed Sapphire and towards the kitchen/dining room where I was able to pick him up. Sapphire looked absolutely terrified and was in a ready to run away position and also bracing herself for him to jump on her. I'm actually unsure whether his running to the kitchen and her scared position where a result of the situation, or the noise from me coming down the stairs. As I carried Fluffy back upstairs she ran upstairs as well, still looking scared, but she didn't seem to care about him and was looking around as if to try and see whatever scared her, which is making me think that she wasn't that scared of him, and more so, the sound of me running down the stairs. She seemed fine a minute or so later.

Face to face went the same as it has to this point with maybe a bit more excitement from Fluffy and a bit more nervousness from Sapphire. She would watch him while he stayed near me and would occasionally try and go see her (I could tell he also wanted to go to her food bowl which was still half full). He eventually laid down in the cardboard box and didn't get excited again until Sapphire started to move back towards her cushions. After I put him back in his room and the baby gates up while I got his feeder ball, that's when his tail really started thrashing while Sapphire sat and watched him.

She also has still been slightly playful after the introductions but not as much so this week. She's mostly just been going straight upstairs to lay on my bed.

Overall I think things are still progressing slowly, but steadily
"Hello! Just a few small updates." - Hello, let's take a look

"Monday night, things went smoothly again. " - Great

"The two cats will have treats fairly close to eachother, inches away at some points with minimal issues (the odd growl from Sapphire but no swatting yet)." - PERFECT!!! Growling is just communication telling him not to try anything and if he respect it that is great.

"Fluffy seems pretty calm for the most part and will lay down sometimes still while Sapphire watches. " - Awwww, i am SO PROUD of him!!! :)

"At times he will try and walk slowly towards her but I will distract him with either my hand or a treat." - Of course, he wants to play with her. But all indications are his intent is all about play and nothing nefarious.

"Even though Sapphire is calm I can tell she's still a bit tense and unsure" - Yes, for a resident cat it is normal BUT she is doing very, very well most of the time so the uncertainty is mild or rare.

"and I don't want to rush interaction while they are still doing good having treats together." - Yes, you are doing great.

"Tonight there was a minor incident that luckily didn't end badly." - Ok, let's see.

As I was going into my bedroom to play with Fluffy after work, he quickly snuck out through my legs and ran downstairs where Sapphire was laying on the cushions at the bottom of the stairs. I ran after him and called out to my partner to pick up Fluffy." - Ok, where you pretty scared, stressed?

" Fluffy however, ran right passed Sapphire" - :yess: :hyper: :clap2:

"and towards the kitchen/dining room where I was able to pick him up." - Ok

" Sapphire looked absolutely terrified and was in a ready to run away position and also bracing herself for him to jump on her." - Ok, I am not surprised. And I am guessing if you were running after him (something different) it was also unsettling.

"I'm actually unsure whether his running to the kitchen and her scared position where a result of the situation, or the noise from me coming down the stairs." - Awwwwwww, yes, probably both. So him running down towards her was unsettling then a human (probably in a excited state) will add to the caution.

" As I carried Fluffy back upstairs she ran upstairs as well, still looking scared, but she didn't seem to care about him and was looking around as if to try and see whatever scared her, " - Well THAT is great!!!

"which is making me think that she wasn't that scared of him, and more so, the sound of me running down the stairs. " - Totally agree. Judging by her actions I think you are more correct. That is really good.

"She seemed fine a minute or so later." - THAT is REALLY GREAT!!!! Fast rebound = POSITIVE!!!! :clap2:

So I would say that "test" they passed with flying colors!!! I actually think it is a great indication they are much better off than we may realize.

"Face to face went the same as it has to this point with maybe a bit more excitement from Fluffy and a bit more nervousness from Sapphire. " - ok, was this before or after the "incident"?

"She would watch him while he stayed near me" - Totally fine

" and would occasionally try and go see her " - Ok, normal

"(I could tell he also wanted to go to her food bowl which was still half full)." - Awwwwww, makes more sense!!! ;)

" He eventually laid down in the cardboard box and didn't get excited again until Sapphire started to move back towards her cushions." - AMAZING!!!

That all sounds so close to perfect!!!

" After I put him back in his room and the baby gates up while I got his feeder ball, that's when his tail really started thrashing while Sapphire sat and watched him." - Awwwwwwww, he wanted to play.

"She also has still been slightly playful after the introductions but not as much so this week. She's mostly just been going straight upstairs to lay on my bed." - Totally fine.

"Overall I think things are still progressing slowly, but steadily " - I think you are pretty much there!!! There were so many places and times it could have gone wrong and it didn't. AMAZING!!!! :clap2:

I am absolutely ecstatic at where they are!!! Keep up the great work!!
 
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Graham18

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"Hello! Just a few small updates." - Hello, let's take a look

"Monday night, things went smoothly again. " - Great

"The two cats will have treats fairly close to eachother, inches away at some points with minimal issues (the odd growl from Sapphire but no swatting yet)." - PERFECT!!! Growling is just communication telling him not to try anything and if he respect it that is great.

"Fluffy seems pretty calm for the most part and will lay down sometimes still while Sapphire watches. " - Awwww, i am SO PROUD of him!!! :)

"At times he will try and walk slowly towards her but I will distract him with either my hand or a treat." - Of course, he wants to play with her. But all indications are his intent is all about play and nothing nefarious.

"Even though Sapphire is calm I can tell she's still a bit tense and unsure" - Yes, for a resident cat it is normal BUT she is doing very, very well most of the time so the uncertainty is mild or rare.

"and I don't want to rush interaction while they are still doing good having treats together." - Yes, you are doing great.

"Tonight there was a minor incident that luckily didn't end badly." - Ok, let's see.

As I was going into my bedroom to play with Fluffy after work, he quickly snuck out through my legs and ran downstairs where Sapphire was laying on the cushions at the bottom of the stairs. I ran after him and called out to my partner to pick up Fluffy." - Ok, where you pretty scared, stressed?

" Fluffy however, ran right passed Sapphire" - :yess: :hyper: :clap2:

"and towards the kitchen/dining room where I was able to pick him up." - Ok

" Sapphire looked absolutely terrified and was in a ready to run away position and also bracing herself for him to jump on her." - Ok, I am not surprised. And I am guessing if you were running after him (something different) it was also unsettling.

"I'm actually unsure whether his running to the kitchen and her scared position where a result of the situation, or the noise from me coming down the stairs." - Awwwwwww, yes, probably both. So him running down towards her was unsettling then a human (probably in a excited state) will add to the caution.

" As I carried Fluffy back upstairs she ran upstairs as well, still looking scared, but she didn't seem to care about him and was looking around as if to try and see whatever scared her, " - Well THAT is great!!!

"which is making me think that she wasn't that scared of him, and more so, the sound of me running down the stairs. " - Totally agree. Judging by her actions I think you are more correct. That is really good.

"She seemed fine a minute or so later." - THAT is REALLY GREAT!!!! Fast rebound = POSITIVE!!!! :clap2:

So I would say that "test" they passed with flying colors!!! I actually think it is a great indication they are much better off than we may realize.

"Face to face went the same as it has to this point with maybe a bit more excitement from Fluffy and a bit more nervousness from Sapphire. " - ok, was this before or after the "incident"?

"She would watch him while he stayed near me" - Totally fine

" and would occasionally try and go see her " - Ok, normal

"(I could tell he also wanted to go to her food bowl which was still half full)." - Awwwwww, makes more sense!!! ;)

" He eventually laid down in the cardboard box and didn't get excited again until Sapphire started to move back towards her cushions." - AMAZING!!!

That all sounds so close to perfect!!!

" After I put him back in his room and the baby gates up while I got his feeder ball, that's when his tail really started thrashing while Sapphire sat and watched him." - Awwwwwwww, he wanted to play.

"She also has still been slightly playful after the introductions but not as much so this week. She's mostly just been going straight upstairs to lay on my bed." - Totally fine.

"Overall I think things are still progressing slowly, but steadily " - I think you are pretty much there!!! There were so many places and times it could have gone wrong and it didn't. AMAZING!!!! :clap2:

I am absolutely ecstatic at where they are!!! Keep up the great work!!
Hello! :)
To answer your questions..
- I was definitely a bit panicked as I ran downstairs. Fluffy got there before I did so I didn't really see what his intended path was or at what point he potentially started to move towards the kitchen. As I got downstairs, he was already several feet away from Sapphire and she was in her escape position. Based on her reactions, I do think that a mixture of the sound and him running down the stairs is what scared her. With Fluffy I really don't know if he intended to go to her and got startled, or if he was simply going towards the kitchen (he's obsessed with going outside on his harness of course and any time he's out he sits by the backdoor crying to go out). I wish I had been able to see it to get a better picture of what his intent was.

- The face to face took place after the incident. Since after a few minutes, Sapphire seemed unbothered by it, I didn't want to waste the opportunity and figured I could always end it if she seemed too scared. She was maybe a little more tense than usual, but she has been a little tense for the last week or so. I didn't feel like it would be a problem since when she did come upstairs, she had her scared body language (back legs bent, butt low to the ground while her front likes were fully extended and her head was sort of darting around looking for something), but she wasn't looking at or paying attention to Fluffy.

My stress and exhaustion levels from work have been through the roof for the last week or so, but I'm trying to act super positive around the cats so I don't stress them out.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello! :)
To answer your questions..
- I was definitely a bit panicked as I ran downstairs. Fluffy got there before I did so I didn't really see what his intended path was or at what point he potentially started to move towards the kitchen. As I got downstairs, he was already several feet away from Sapphire and she was in her escape position. Based on her reactions, I do think that a mixture of the sound and him running down the stairs is what scared her. With Fluffy I really don't know if he intended to go to her and got startled, or if he was simply going towards the kitchen (he's obsessed with going outside on his harness of course and any time he's out he sits by the backdoor crying to go out). I wish I had been able to see it to get a better picture of what his intent was.

- The face to face took place after the incident. Since after a few minutes, Sapphire seemed unbothered by it, I didn't want to waste the opportunity and figured I could always end it if she seemed too scared. She was maybe a little more tense than usual, but she has been a little tense for the last week or so. I didn't feel like it would be a problem since when she did come upstairs, she had her scared body language (back legs bent, butt low to the ground while her front likes were fully extended and her head was sort of darting around looking for something), but she wasn't looking at or paying attention to Fluffy.

My stress and exhaustion levels from work have been through the roof for the last week or so, but I'm trying to act super positive around the cats so I don't stress them out.
"Hello! :)
To answer your questions.." - Hello

"- I was definitely a bit panicked as I ran downstairs." - Yes, I figured that. ;)

" Fluffy got there before I did so I didn't really see what his intended path was or at what point he potentially started to move towards the kitchen." - Ok, even more impressive that they chose no need to escalate/panic.

"As I got downstairs, he was already several feet away from Sapphire and she was in her escape position." - Ok. Pretty good. It could have gone wrong easily.

" Based on her reactions, I do think that a mixture of the sound and him running down the stairs is what scared her." - Ok, makes sense.

" With Fluffy I really don't know if he intended to go to her and got startled, or if he was simply going towards the kitchen (he's obsessed with going outside on his harness of course and any time he's out he sits by the backdoor crying to go out). I wish I had been able to see it to get a better picture of what his intent was." - Ok. I don't get a sense he was after her. If he was after her he would have gotten to her.

"- The face to face took place after the incident. Since after a few minutes, Sapphire seemed unbothered by it, I didn't want to waste the opportunity and figured I could always end it if she seemed too scared. " - WOW!!! AWESOME!!! Even better and more impressive so THEY tell us that THEY didn't view it as the other after them/negative, etc. GREAT!!

"She was maybe a little more tense than usual," - Ok, understandably.

" but she has been a little tense for the last week or so." - Ok

" I didn't feel like it would be a problem since when she did come upstairs, she had her scared body language (back legs bent, butt low to the ground while her front likes were fully extended and her head was sort of darting around looking for something), but she wasn't looking at or paying attention to Fluffy." - Great instincts. You were correct, it was fine. :) Maybe you are more confident then we think???

"My stress and exhaustion levels from work have been through the roof for the last week or so," - Sorry to hear that. That makes their behavior/encounters even more impressive.

" but I'm trying to act super positive around the cats so I don't stress them out." - Great but they can sense the stress, etc. Hopefully the cats can help alleviate the stress some (I am guessing they may be). They way they are getting along, etc is really impressive!!!

GREAT JOB!!! At least the cats should not be a source of real stress going forward. :) They are doing AMAZINGLY well!!! :)

Keep up the great work!!!
 
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Graham18

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"Hello! :)
To answer your questions.." - Hello

"- I was definitely a bit panicked as I ran downstairs." - Yes, I figured that. ;)

" Fluffy got there before I did so I didn't really see what his intended path was or at what point he potentially started to move towards the kitchen." - Ok, even more impressive that they chose no need to escalate/panic.

"As I got downstairs, he was already several feet away from Sapphire and she was in her escape position." - Ok. Pretty good. It could have gone wrong easily.

" Based on her reactions, I do think that a mixture of the sound and him running down the stairs is what scared her." - Ok, makes sense.

" With Fluffy I really don't know if he intended to go to her and got startled, or if he was simply going towards the kitchen (he's obsessed with going outside on his harness of course and any time he's out he sits by the backdoor crying to go out). I wish I had been able to see it to get a better picture of what his intent was." - Ok. I don't get a sense he was after her. If he was after her he would have gotten to her.

"- The face to face took place after the incident. Since after a few minutes, Sapphire seemed unbothered by it, I didn't want to waste the opportunity and figured I could always end it if she seemed too scared. " - WOW!!! AWESOME!!! Even better and more impressive so THEY tell us that THEY didn't view it as the other after them/negative, etc. GREAT!!

"She was maybe a little more tense than usual," - Ok, understandably.

" but she has been a little tense for the last week or so." - Ok

" I didn't feel like it would be a problem since when she did come upstairs, she had her scared body language (back legs bent, butt low to the ground while her front likes were fully extended and her head was sort of darting around looking for something), but she wasn't looking at or paying attention to Fluffy." - Great instincts. You were correct, it was fine. :) Maybe you are more confident then we think???

"My stress and exhaustion levels from work have been through the roof for the last week or so," - Sorry to hear that. That makes their behavior/encounters even more impressive.

" but I'm trying to act super positive around the cats so I don't stress them out." - Great but they can sense the stress, etc. Hopefully the cats can help alleviate the stress some (I am guessing they may be). They way they are getting along, etc is really impressive!!!

GREAT JOB!!! At least the cats should not be a source of real stress going forward. :) They are doing AMAZINGLY well!!! :)

Keep up the great work!!!
I did forget to mention, just incase of confusion, that I don't think he intended on going after her when he ran downstairs. He looked happy and I think he just thought he was getting let out, or that I was going to take him outside or give him more food. My biggest concern was that he would see her and then suddenly want to go play with her as he does :)
 
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Graham18

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Tonight I would say was another successful face to face although, not as successful as the previous ones. The main reason is probably because I was doing it alone tonight so it is slightly more difficult to control but I'm not sure.

Sapphire was laying on her cushions while Fluffy ate but she came down and close for a treat. After Fluffy finished eating he started towards her as he usually does and he kind of missed his treat a bit and got a bit too close to Sapphire and she started to hiss at him. He still wanted to get closer to her so I gently used my hand to distract him as I've always done and he turned and bit my arm, not hard enough to break skin, but enough to leave little teeth marks. He calmed down after that and I was able to continue with the cycle of treat, him trying to go to her, treat to distract, repeat. Quite a few more hisses and growls from Sapphire and Fluffy trying to get to her but no more issues.

Unfortunately the face to face sessions don't last for very long because it seems that treats are the only way I can keep them distracted and they are already having quite a few. Fluffy will, 90% of the time, just keep trying to go to Sapphire. Even if he does lay down for a bit, it's usually no more than 30 seconds before he's up and trying to go see her again. Based on her hissing and growling I'm assuming she's not ready for that yet and for the most part I haven't seen any indication of him backing off.
 

calicosrspecial

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I did forget to mention, just incase of confusion, that I don't think he intended on going after her when he ran downstairs. He looked happy and I think he just thought he was getting let out, or that I was going to take him outside or give him more food. My biggest concern was that he would see her and then suddenly want to go play with her as he does :)
"I did forget to mention, just incase of confusion, that I don't think he intended on going after her when he ran downstairs." - OK, great

" He looked happy and I think he just thought he was getting let out, or that I was going to take him outside or give him more food." - PERFECT!!!

" My biggest concern was that he would see her and then suddenly want to go play with her as he does :) " - LOVE that your wording is "play" rather than "attack" or "fight". That tells me you trust him more than I may realize. Terrific.

"Tonight I would say was another successful face to face although, not as successful as the previous ones. The main reason is probably because I was doing it alone tonight so it is slightly more difficult to control but I'm not sure." - Ok, let's see.

"Sapphire was laying on her cushions while Fluffy ate but she came down and close for a treat." - Perfect

" After Fluffy finished eating he started towards her as he usually does and he kind of missed his treat a bit and got a bit too close to Sapphire and she started to hiss at him." - Ok, if all it was was a hiss then totally fine.
"
He still wanted to get closer to her so I gently used my hand to distract him as I've always done and he turned and bit my arm, not hard enough to break skin, but enough to leave little teeth marks." - :/ Ok. GOOD that he knew the limit but BAD that he did. :/ I want you to be careful. At this point they can handle whatever the other does.

" He calmed down after that and I was able to continue with the cycle of treat, him trying to go to her, treat to distract, repeat. Quite a few more hisses and growls from Sapphire and Fluffy trying to get to her but no more issues." - Ok. I think there is some frustration not being able to interact more. :/ IF she doesn't want him she needs to step up her deterrence.

"Unfortunately the face to face sessions don't last for very long because it seems that treats are the only way I can keep them distracted and they are already having quite a few." - Ok. Any chance of doing meal time instead? Or just hanging out?

" Fluffy will, 90% of the time, just keep trying to go to Sapphire. Even if he does lay down for a bit, it's usually no more than 30 seconds before he's up and trying to go see her again." - Yes. He so wants to have her as a friend/playmate. :/

"Based on her hissing and growling I'm assuming she's not ready for that yet " - Yes but she is not being all that forceful either. :/

"and for the most part I haven't seen any indication of him backing off. " - Yes because she is not forceful enough. :/

Usually you would then see some pawing or a retreat up high (cat tree). She is holding her ground with hissing (at this point since you are distracting). It doesn't sound like there is a lot of fear, etc. More annoyance.

No chance of a toy distracting him?

If you walked away would he follow you?

Just do your best to try to extend the time together. Maybe let them interact a touch more as well and she if she will resolve it a touch.

Just try a few things. I don't think the risk of a real fight is very high so I do think you have some room.

Let me know how it goes.
 
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Graham18

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"I did forget to mention, just incase of confusion, that I don't think he intended on going after her when he ran downstairs." - OK, great

" He looked happy and I think he just thought he was getting let out, or that I was going to take him outside or give him more food." - PERFECT!!!

" My biggest concern was that he would see her and then suddenly want to go play with her as he does :) " - LOVE that your wording is "play" rather than "attack" or "fight". That tells me you trust him more than I may realize. Terrific.

"Tonight I would say was another successful face to face although, not as successful as the previous ones. The main reason is probably because I was doing it alone tonight so it is slightly more difficult to control but I'm not sure." - Ok, let's see.

"Sapphire was laying on her cushions while Fluffy ate but she came down and close for a treat." - Perfect

" After Fluffy finished eating he started towards her as he usually does and he kind of missed his treat a bit and got a bit too close to Sapphire and she started to hiss at him." - Ok, if all it was was a hiss then totally fine.
"
He still wanted to get closer to her so I gently used my hand to distract him as I've always done and he turned and bit my arm, not hard enough to break skin, but enough to leave little teeth marks." - :/ Ok. GOOD that he knew the limit but BAD that he did. :/ I want you to be careful. At this point they can handle whatever the other does.

" He calmed down after that and I was able to continue with the cycle of treat, him trying to go to her, treat to distract, repeat. Quite a few more hisses and growls from Sapphire and Fluffy trying to get to her but no more issues." - Ok. I think there is some frustration not being able to interact more. :/ IF she doesn't want him she needs to step up her deterrence.

"Unfortunately the face to face sessions don't last for very long because it seems that treats are the only way I can keep them distracted and they are already having quite a few." - Ok. Any chance of doing meal time instead? Or just hanging out?

" Fluffy will, 90% of the time, just keep trying to go to Sapphire. Even if he does lay down for a bit, it's usually no more than 30 seconds before he's up and trying to go see her again." - Yes. He so wants to have her as a friend/playmate. :/

"Based on her hissing and growling I'm assuming she's not ready for that yet " - Yes but she is not being all that forceful either. :/

"and for the most part I haven't seen any indication of him backing off. " - Yes because she is not forceful enough. :/

Usually you would then see some pawing or a retreat up high (cat tree). She is holding her ground with hissing (at this point since you are distracting). It doesn't sound like there is a lot of fear, etc. More annoyance.

No chance of a toy distracting him?

If you walked away would he follow you?

Just do your best to try to extend the time together. Maybe let them interact a touch more as well and she if she will resolve it a touch.

Just try a few things. I don't think the risk of a real fight is very high so I do think you have some room.

Let me know how it goes.
After I did the face to face this morning, I'm coming to realize that I think it's Sapphire hissing that gets Fluffy worked up. I did a quick treat session this morning and everything was fine until she hissed at him. At that point I can tell he gets excited and this morning he bit me again and I hadn't even moved my hand towards him. It wasn't a bite bite, more so just a small play bite however. After they calmed down I went to pet Sapphire and she then tried to swat at me so I gave up on that.

I could attempt meal Time again, however I've returned to the point where Sapphire nibbles and I'm finding she usually doesn't eat until sometime in the middle of the night. As for just hanging out, I'm sure that not a lot would change from the current sessions. I've tried a few times to hold back on treats, but it ends up turning into Fluffy trying to find new ways to go around me and go to Sapphire. I also try toys with every session and other than once or twice briefly, I haven't had any luck. He is just too focused on her to care about his favorite toy haha. He may follow me if I were to walk away if he was confident I had the treat bag, but if not he would probably ignore me to go see her.

I will see what I can do and perhaps try and let them get closer this weekend by just letting him go to her. Tonight and tomorrow night my partner works late so the face to face sessions probably won't be as long again since I have trouble keeping control of the situation when I'm alone.

Thank you again!
 

calicosrspecial

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After I did the face to face this morning, I'm coming to realize that I think it's Sapphire hissing that gets Fluffy worked up. I did a quick treat session this morning and everything was fine until she hissed at him. At that point I can tell he gets excited and this morning he bit me again and I hadn't even moved my hand towards him. It wasn't a bite bite, more so just a small play bite however. After they calmed down I went to pet Sapphire and she then tried to swat at me so I gave up on that.

I could attempt meal Time again, however I've returned to the point where Sapphire nibbles and I'm finding she usually doesn't eat until sometime in the middle of the night. As for just hanging out, I'm sure that not a lot would change from the current sessions. I've tried a few times to hold back on treats, but it ends up turning into Fluffy trying to find new ways to go around me and go to Sapphire. I also try toys with every session and other than once or twice briefly, I haven't had any luck. He is just too focused on her to care about his favorite toy haha. He may follow me if I were to walk away if he was confident I had the treat bag, but if not he would probably ignore me to go see her.

I will see what I can do and perhaps try and let them get closer this weekend by just letting him go to her. Tonight and tomorrow night my partner works late so the face to face sessions probably won't be as long again since I have trouble keeping control of the situation when I'm alone.

Thank you again!
"After I did the face to face this morning, I'm coming to realize that I think it's Sapphire hissing that gets Fluffy worked up. I did a quick treat session this morning and everything was fine until she hissed at him. " - Understandably since he may feel threatened by her. OR he could think she wants to play.

"At that point I can tell he gets excited and this morning he bit me again and I hadn't even moved my hand towards him. It wasn't a bite bite, more so just a small play bite however." - Ok, probably redirected aggression. So I suspect maybe it is more he gets defensive thinking she may want to harm him. Good that he knew where the line is not to hurt but we still do not want that to happen.

"After they calmed down I went to pet Sapphire and she then tried to swat at me so I gave up on that." - Hmmmmm, she was more amped up. Hmmmmmmmmmm

"I could attempt meal Time again, however I've returned to the point where Sapphire nibbles and I'm finding she usually doesn't eat until sometime in the middle of the night. " - Ok. Well, can she just watch him eat?

"As for just hanging out, I'm sure that not a lot would change from the current sessions." - Ok

" I've tried a few times to hold back on treats, but it ends up turning into Fluffy trying to find new ways to go around me and go to Sapphire." - Ok. But maybe they need to get to that point to then resolve it. If you feel like niether would really hurt the other and then they would rebound quickly then it actually would be a positive.

"I also try toys with every session and other than once or twice briefly, I haven't had any luck." - Hmmmmmm

" He is just too focused on her to care about his favorite toy haha." - Can you possibly get a video?

" He may follow me if I were to walk away if he was confident I had the treat bag, but if not he would probably ignore me to go see her." - Ok, let's try it and see. Take him into the kitchen and then talk to him then give him one treat.

"I will see what I can do and perhaps try and let them get closer this weekend by just letting him go to her. " - Ok, I know it is tough but try to see if you can see the trust in them. I just don't see either cat wanting to hurt the other but please correct me if I am wrong. I know it is so hard because we love them and don't want anything bad to happen but sometimes that causes us to over estimate the risk.

"Tonight and tomorrow night my partner works late so the face to face sessions probably won't be as long again since I have trouble keeping control of the situation when I'm alone." - Ok, that is fine. Just try not to stress too much, etc. All is going to be well. :)

"Thank you again! " - You are very welcome. :) I know this is hard on you but they are going to be just fine. You have done (and are doing) a GREAT job!!! :)
 
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"After I did the face to face this morning, I'm coming to realize that I think it's Sapphire hissing that gets Fluffy worked up. I did a quick treat session this morning and everything was fine until she hissed at him. " - Understandably since he may feel threatened by her. OR he could think she wants to play.

"At that point I can tell he gets excited and this morning he bit me again and I hadn't even moved my hand towards him. It wasn't a bite bite, more so just a small play bite however." - Ok, probably redirected aggression. So I suspect maybe it is more he gets defensive thinking she may want to harm him. Good that he knew where the line is not to hurt but we still do not want that to happen.

"After they calmed down I went to pet Sapphire and she then tried to swat at me so I gave up on that." - Hmmmmm, she was more amped up. Hmmmmmmmmmm

"I could attempt meal Time again, however I've returned to the point where Sapphire nibbles and I'm finding she usually doesn't eat until sometime in the middle of the night. " - Ok. Well, can she just watch him eat?

"As for just hanging out, I'm sure that not a lot would change from the current sessions." - Ok

" I've tried a few times to hold back on treats, but it ends up turning into Fluffy trying to find new ways to go around me and go to Sapphire." - Ok. But maybe they need to get to that point to then resolve it. If you feel like niether would really hurt the other and then they would rebound quickly then it actually would be a positive.

"I also try toys with every session and other than once or twice briefly, I haven't had any luck." - Hmmmmmm

" He is just too focused on her to care about his favorite toy haha." - Can you possibly get a video?

" He may follow me if I were to walk away if he was confident I had the treat bag, but if not he would probably ignore me to go see her." - Ok, let's try it and see. Take him into the kitchen and then talk to him then give him one treat.

"I will see what I can do and perhaps try and let them get closer this weekend by just letting him go to her. " - Ok, I know it is tough but try to see if you can see the trust in them. I just don't see either cat wanting to hurt the other but please correct me if I am wrong. I know it is so hard because we love them and don't want anything bad to happen but sometimes that causes us to over estimate the risk.

"Tonight and tomorrow night my partner works late so the face to face sessions probably won't be as long again since I have trouble keeping control of the situation when I'm alone." - Ok, that is fine. Just try not to stress too much, etc. All is going to be well. :)

"Thank you again! " - You are very welcome. :) I know this is hard on you but they are going to be just fine. You have done (and are doing) a GREAT job!!! :)
From what I've seen, I think his biting is more excitement or frustration and I think he may view the hissing as play. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but he himset hisses quite a bit but only when he's playing. He will run around hissing or hiss at his toys while he's chasing them or playing with them so he may believe it's an excitement/play sound rather than a back off sound. I also believe his biting is out of excitement/overstimulation or frustration. He tends to also bite if I'm playing with him and he is really excited, or when he's ready to go downstairs for supper and bed time (I think I've mentioned how I'll sometimes leave the room briefly to show him that I'll stop giving him attention if he bites).

As for intros, last night and this morning, not wanting to miss an opportunity I just let Sapphire do her thing while Fluffy eats rather than trying to get her to come close to him. All has been going fine with that. Last night, she came down from her cat tree without needing a treat and this morning they were both fine as well. I actually had to use very few treats this morning as Fluffy laid down and was actually laying calmy for about two minutes. Sapphire then meowed as I went to pet her and that's what got Fluffy excited and wanting to go see her.

Last night, as I was in my room with Fluffy, sapphire walked close to the gate and he ran at it, scaring her slightly and she ran downstairs, but she came right back up and say looking at the gate wagging her tail, almost as if she wanted to play. It could just be wishful thinking but I do think I saw a hint of playfulness.

Seeing how things go this weekend I will try and let them interact when I'm not alone and see how it goes. :)

I apologize if I missed any of your questions.
 

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From what I've seen, I think his biting is more excitement or frustration and I think he may view the hissing as play. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but he himset hisses quite a bit but only when he's playing. He will run around hissing or hiss at his toys while he's chasing them or playing with them so he may believe it's an excitement/play sound rather than a back off sound. I also believe his biting is out of excitement/overstimulation or frustration. He tends to also bite if I'm playing with him and he is really excited, or when he's ready to go downstairs for supper and bed time (I think I've mentioned how I'll sometimes leave the room briefly to show him that I'll stop giving him attention if he bites).

As for intros, last night and this morning, not wanting to miss an opportunity I just let Sapphire do her thing while Fluffy eats rather than trying to get her to come close to him. All has been going fine with that. Last night, she came down from her cat tree without needing a treat and this morning they were both fine as well. I actually had to use very few treats this morning as Fluffy laid down and was actually laying calmy for about two minutes. Sapphire then meowed as I went to pet her and that's what got Fluffy excited and wanting to go see her.

Last night, as I was in my room with Fluffy, sapphire walked close to the gate and he ran at it, scaring her slightly and she ran downstairs, but she came right back up and say looking at the gate wagging her tail, almost as if she wanted to play. It could just be wishful thinking but I do think I saw a hint of playfulness.

Seeing how things go this weekend I will try and let them interact when I'm not alone and see how it goes. :)

I apologize if I missed any of your questions.
"From what I've seen, I think his biting is more excitement or frustration and I think he may view the hissing as play." - Yes, seems like it. If it was fear (survival) he would either fight or flee I suspect. His body language would tell us more as would her's and how they both act after (how fast a return to normal).

" I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but he himset hisses quite a bit but only when he's playing." - Ahhhhhh, I did not know that. Some cats will growl as well. A lot of uniqueness.

" He will run around hissing or hiss at his toys while he's chasing them or playing with them so he may believe it's an excitement/play sound rather than a back off sound." - Awwwwwwwwww, yes, that makes sense.

" I also believe his biting is out of excitement/overstimulation or frustration. He tends to also bite if I'm playing with him and he is really excited, or when he's ready to go downstairs for supper and bed time (I think I've mentioned how I'll sometimes leave the room briefly to show him that I'll stop giving him attention if he bites)." - Yes

"As for intros, last night and this morning, not wanting to miss an opportunity I just let Sapphire do her thing while Fluffy eats rather than trying to get her to come close to him." - Great

" All has been going fine with that." - Great

" Last night, she came down from her cat tree without needing a treat and this morning they were both fine as well." - Wow, not a cat that fears another cat.

" I actually had to use very few treats this morning as Fluffy laid down and was actually laying calmy for about two minutes. " - Great

"Sapphire then meowed as I went to pet her and that's what got Fluffy excited and wanting to go see her." - That will. He so wants to play with her. :/

"Last night, as I was in my room with Fluffy, sapphire walked close to the gate and he ran at it, scaring her slightly and she ran downstairs, but she came right back up and say looking at the gate wagging her tail, almost as if she wanted to play. It could just be wishful thinking but I do think I saw a hint of playfulness." - Awwwwwwwwww, probably. Great that she came back. That tells me it was not a big deal in addition to this morning going well.

"Seeing how things go this weekend I will try and let them interact when I'm not alone and see how it goes. :) " - Sounds good. It might get a bit wild BUT I do believe they know where the line is.

Keep up the great work!! All sounds great to me.
 
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Hello with just a small update.

I didn't really allow interaction tonight as Fluffy was being a little difficult today (more on that later), and I felt that my mindset wasn't in the right way to do it. They had treats together for about five minutes and were only a few inches away quite a few times and for the most part they both seemed calm. A couple times, I allowed a small amount of time to pass before distractions and Fluffy would stick his nose out to sniff Sapphire. She would react with a small hiss and back up slightly but I didn't see Fluffy getting overly excited. He wasn't really backing off either. He would basically just sit there usually waiting for his next treat. I let this happen maybe four or five times. There were a couple times where Fluffy would try and walk around me to go to Sapphire which I distracted against as her back would have been to him and I didn't want him to surprise her. All and all they seemed pretty calm for how close they were.

Now onto Fluffy being difficult today. I took him outside this afternoon for about 45 minutes since he just LOVES going and won't let me have a moment's peace until he gets to go outside. I brought him back inside and took his harness off and out of the blue he started going after my arms and ankles slightly more aggressively than usual. All four legs wrapped and biting to the point where he slightly broke skin through a sweater (not deep, just small surface cuts which I cleaned right away with rubbing alcohol). He would not relent to the point where I had to pry him off of me and give him a gentle shove away and as I would walk away he would go after my legs and ankles. After a minute or two I walked away and he was calm again sitting by the backdoor meowing to go back outside. I'm unsure why he started acting like that but I'm guessing he was either over stimulated or he was mad at me for bringing him inside. He also did find my cat nip plant outside but that was about 15 minutes prior to bringing him in.

When I was upstairs in my room playing with him later on, twice he charged my arm and latched on to bite again. This time I clapped and he stopped and laid down.

I'm really not sure why he was acting difficult today but I didn't want to risk him doing the same thing with Sapphire.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hello with just a small update.

I didn't really allow interaction tonight as Fluffy was being a little difficult today (more on that later), and I felt that my mindset wasn't in the right way to do it. They had treats together for about five minutes and were only a few inches away quite a few times and for the most part they both seemed calm. A couple times, I allowed a small amount of time to pass before distractions and Fluffy would stick his nose out to sniff Sapphire. She would react with a small hiss and back up slightly but I didn't see Fluffy getting overly excited. He wasn't really backing off either. He would basically just sit there usually waiting for his next treat. I let this happen maybe four or five times. There were a couple times where Fluffy would try and walk around me to go to Sapphire which I distracted against as her back would have been to him and I didn't want him to surprise her. All and all they seemed pretty calm for how close they were.

Now onto Fluffy being difficult today. I took him outside this afternoon for about 45 minutes since he just LOVES going and won't let me have a moment's peace until he gets to go outside. I brought him back inside and took his harness off and out of the blue he started going after my arms and ankles slightly more aggressively than usual. All four legs wrapped and biting to the point where he slightly broke skin through a sweater (not deep, just small surface cuts which I cleaned right away with rubbing alcohol). He would not relent to the point where I had to pry him off of me and give him a gentle shove away and as I would walk away he would go after my legs and ankles. After a minute or two I walked away and he was calm again sitting by the backdoor meowing to go back outside. I'm unsure why he started acting like that but I'm guessing he was either over stimulated or he was mad at me for bringing him inside. He also did find my cat nip plant outside but that was about 15 minutes prior to bringing him in.

When I was upstairs in my room playing with him later on, twice he charged my arm and latched on to bite again. This time I clapped and he stopped and laid down.

I'm really not sure why he was acting difficult today but I didn't want to risk him doing the same thing with Sapphire.
"Hello with just a small update." - Hello, let's see

"I didn't really allow interaction tonight as Fluffy was being a little difficult today (more on that later), and I felt that my mindset wasn't in the right way to do it." - Ok, that is fine

" They had treats together for about five minutes and were only a few inches away quite a few times and for the most part they both seemed calm. " - So far great

"A couple times, I allowed a small amount of time to pass before distractions and Fluffy would stick his nose out to sniff Sapphire. She would react with a small hiss and back up slightly but I didn't see Fluffy getting overly excited. He wasn't really backing off either." - So far still great

"He would basically just sit there usually waiting for his next treat." - Awwwwwwww

" I let this happen maybe four or five times. " - Ok, good

"There were a couple times where Fluffy would try and walk around me to go to Sapphire which I distracted against as her back would have been to him and I didn't want him to surprise her. All and all they seemed pretty calm for how close they were." - Great. So fare really good

"Now onto Fluffy being difficult today." - Ok

" I took him outside this afternoon for about 45 minutes since he just LOVES going and won't let me have a moment's peace until he gets to go outside." - Ok

" I brought him back inside and took his harness off and out of the blue he started going after my arms and ankles slightly more aggressively than usual." - Ok, did he see any other animals. Maybe he sniffed an intact cat? He got amped up somehow it seems. At this point pull out a toy and se if he will play.

" All four legs wrapped and biting to the point where he slightly broke skin through a sweater (not deep, just small surface cuts which I cleaned right away with rubbing alcohol)." - Ok, so an accident. If he really wanted to hurt it would have been deep.

" He would not relent to the point where I had to pry him off of me and give him a gentle shove away and as I would walk away he would go after my legs and ankles. " - Ok, so he was focused on hunting. Was the clothing loose? Blowing around? Making movements?

"After a minute or two I walked away and he was calm again sitting by the backdoor meowing to go back outside. " - Ok. I sense he had pent up energy and wanted to play.

"I'm unsure why he started acting like that but I'm guessing he was either over stimulated" - Yes, overstimulated it seems.

" or he was mad at me for bringing him inside." - Hmmmmmm, I am not a big believer in that but I guess that is possible.

"He also did find my cat nip plant outside but that was about 15 minutes prior to bringing him in." - Ahhhhhhhh, ok. That makes sense. That will get them amped up.

"When I was upstairs in my room playing with him later on, twice he charged my arm and latched on to bite again. This time I clapped and he stopped and laid down." - How close was your arm to the toy? Was your arm moving like a toy?

"I'm really not sure why he was acting difficult today" - Well, it seems like the catnip was a likely culprit. It could be he had pent up energy and needed to release it.

" but I didn't want to risk him doing the same thing with Sapphire. " - Yes, agreed. You did the right thing. But maybe not seeing Sapphire lead to some of the pent up energy? I think it can be frustrating to have a cat around without getting wanted access.

Let's see how they do the next few days. I suspect this was just one of those things. Keep trying to get him to play. Make sure you make the toy act like prey so he locks on to it and hunts.
 
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"Hello with just a small update." - Hello, let's see

"I didn't really allow interaction tonight as Fluffy was being a little difficult today (more on that later), and I felt that my mindset wasn't in the right way to do it." - Ok, that is fine

" They had treats together for about five minutes and were only a few inches away quite a few times and for the most part they both seemed calm. " - So far great

"A couple times, I allowed a small amount of time to pass before distractions and Fluffy would stick his nose out to sniff Sapphire. She would react with a small hiss and back up slightly but I didn't see Fluffy getting overly excited. He wasn't really backing off either." - So far still great

"He would basically just sit there usually waiting for his next treat." - Awwwwwwww

" I let this happen maybe four or five times. " - Ok, good

"There were a couple times where Fluffy would try and walk around me to go to Sapphire which I distracted against as her back would have been to him and I didn't want him to surprise her. All and all they seemed pretty calm for how close they were." - Great. So fare really good

"Now onto Fluffy being difficult today." - Ok

" I took him outside this afternoon for about 45 minutes since he just LOVES going and won't let me have a moment's peace until he gets to go outside." - Ok

" I brought him back inside and took his harness off and out of the blue he started going after my arms and ankles slightly more aggressively than usual." - Ok, did he see any other animals. Maybe he sniffed an intact cat? He got amped up somehow it seems. At this point pull out a toy and se if he will play.

" All four legs wrapped and biting to the point where he slightly broke skin through a sweater (not deep, just small surface cuts which I cleaned right away with rubbing alcohol)." - Ok, so an accident. If he really wanted to hurt it would have been deep.

" He would not relent to the point where I had to pry him off of me and give him a gentle shove away and as I would walk away he would go after my legs and ankles. " - Ok, so he was focused on hunting. Was the clothing loose? Blowing around? Making movements?

"After a minute or two I walked away and he was calm again sitting by the backdoor meowing to go back outside. " - Ok. I sense he had pent up energy and wanted to play.

"I'm unsure why he started acting like that but I'm guessing he was either over stimulated" - Yes, overstimulated it seems.

" or he was mad at me for bringing him inside." - Hmmmmmm, I am not a big believer in that but I guess that is possible.

"He also did find my cat nip plant outside but that was about 15 minutes prior to bringing him in." - Ahhhhhhhh, ok. That makes sense. That will get them amped up.

"When I was upstairs in my room playing with him later on, twice he charged my arm and latched on to bite again. This time I clapped and he stopped and laid down." - How close was your arm to the toy? Was your arm moving like a toy?

"I'm really not sure why he was acting difficult today" - Well, it seems like the catnip was a likely culprit. It could be he had pent up energy and needed to release it.

" but I didn't want to risk him doing the same thing with Sapphire. " - Yes, agreed. You did the right thing. But maybe not seeing Sapphire lead to some of the pent up energy? I think it can be frustrating to have a cat around without getting wanted access.

Let's see how they do the next few days. I suspect this was just one of those things. Keep trying to get him to play. Make sure you make the toy act like prey so he locks on to it and hunts.
I suspect that frustration and pent up energy are the cause as well with maybe a bit of trying to get my attention. I'm used to it when I'm upstairs with him as it usually happens when I can tell he's upset that his sister didn't come to visit him or when he's ready to go downstairs and have his supper and go to bed. After the incident earlier in the day he was back to rubbing and giving affection within a few minutes. If I take him outside today I will see how he is and I will provide updates on tonight's face to face, hopefully minor interaction session :)

I forgot to add, they had a little swatting session at the baby gates downstairs this morning which hasn't happened in awhile but it seemed playful. Just a few swats back and forth and then Sapphire gave a tiny hiss and walked away. Sapphire tends to completely ignore Fluffy now at the gates or she'll sit a few feet away and they just watch eachother.
 

calicosrspecial

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I suspect that frustration and pent up energy are the cause as well with maybe a bit of trying to get my attention. I'm used to it when I'm upstairs with him as it usually happens when I can tell he's upset that his sister didn't come to visit him or when he's ready to go downstairs and have his supper and go to bed. After the incident earlier in the day he was back to rubbing and giving affection within a few minutes. If I take him outside today I will see how he is and I will provide updates on tonight's face to face, hopefully minor interaction session :)

I forgot to add, they had a little swatting session at the baby gates downstairs this morning which hasn't happened in awhile but it seemed playful. Just a few swats back and forth and then Sapphire gave a tiny hiss and walked away. Sapphire tends to completely ignore Fluffy now at the gates or she'll sit a few feet away and they just watch eachother.
"I suspect that frustration and pent up energy are the cause" - Yes

" as well with maybe a bit of trying to get my attention. " - VERY GOOD POINT!!! You often see cats do that to other cats to initiate play.

"I'm used to it when I'm upstairs with him as it usually happens when I can tell he's upset that his sister didn't come to visit him or when he's ready to go downstairs and have his supper and go to bed." - Yes

" After the incident earlier in the day he was back to rubbing and giving affection within a few minutes." - Exactly, it is not a mean intent.

" If I take him outside today I will see how he is and I will provide updates on tonight's face to face, hopefully minor interaction session :) " - Sounds great

"I forgot to add, they had a little swatting session at the baby gates downstairs this morning which hasn't happened in awhile but it seemed playful." - Ok

" Just a few swats back and forth and then Sapphire gave a tiny hiss and walked away." - LOVE that she just walked away.

" Sapphire tends to completely ignore Fluffy now at the gates or she'll sit a few feet away and they just watch eachother." - Great. I would like to see them move on a touch since the gate can builds some frustration, tension if they just focus on each other.

At some point the cats have to work it out themselves as well. Our job is to prepare them for that, give that base of trust and respect and then they do the rest.

They will be just fine. They both are great cats. I suspect there will be dustups BUT as long as they know the line and not to cross it and they rebound quickly it will be just a blip, a disagreement. Just like we humans do often. ;) As long as the base is strong pretty much anything is handled.

Keep up the great work!!
 
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Graham18

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First interaction update. It was pretty wild and pretty quick, and I hope things haven't been set back.
It started as normal with Fluffy eating his food and Sapphire sitting watching him. After they ate, they had some treats about a foot or so way away. After a few treats, I let Fluffy go closer to her and she hissed and swatted at him and he stopped briefly. I gave them each another treat as a distraction and then Fluffy looked like he was trying to sniff her. She hissed and swatted again, but this time he jumped on her. There was some intense rolling around on the ground and very loud shrieking/yelping/growling from Sapphire before she got out away and ran upstairs and I was able to stop Fluffy from chasing her and put him back in his room for bed time. I wasn't able to get a glimpse of what was going on during the rolling around to see for claws, teeth, etc, and Fluffy seemed perfectly fine afterwards with no puffy tail, raised back etc and he happily had his feeder ball and went to bed.

I went upstairs to see how Sapphire was and when I first went up, she ran under the bed. A few minutes later when I went back upstairs she was relaxing on my bed and a few minutes after that we were playing mice under the blanket and she was super playful chasing a ball around upstairs so I take it that means the dust up wasn't that serious and more so just her being dramatic.

I will see how she is around him tomorrow to see if she's more cautious or acting fine.

I'm not sure if I should be doing anything different during letting them interact. Unfortunately, things happen way too fast when they are that close to distract and if I was distracting before things get wild, that would be no different than the current treats face to face.

That's all for today. I will see how they are tomorrow :)
 
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Update from this morning.
Things seemed okay for the most part. Sapphire was sitting by Fluffy's door while I was making coffee and then sitting by her usual watching spot when I let him out behind the baby gates for breakfast before going up and hiding in the closet in her room. Fluffy seemed a bit more excited than usual to see her.

When she came back downstairs, I let Fluffy out and Sapphire was a bit more tense, hissing and growling at him from across the room which she hasn't done in quite some time and Fluffy was still on the excited side.

After I put Fluffy back in his room, Sapphire went back upstairs and was just laying in the closet again.
 

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First interaction update. It was pretty wild and pretty quick, and I hope things haven't been set back.
It started as normal with Fluffy eating his food and Sapphire sitting watching him. After they ate, they had some treats about a foot or so way away. After a few treats, I let Fluffy go closer to her and she hissed and swatted at him and he stopped briefly. I gave them each another treat as a distraction and then Fluffy looked like he was trying to sniff her. She hissed and swatted again, but this time he jumped on her. There was some intense rolling around on the ground and very loud shrieking/yelping/growling from Sapphire before she got out away and ran upstairs and I was able to stop Fluffy from chasing her and put him back in his room for bed time. I wasn't able to get a glimpse of what was going on during the rolling around to see for claws, teeth, etc, and Fluffy seemed perfectly fine afterwards with no puffy tail, raised back etc and he happily had his feeder ball and went to bed.

I went upstairs to see how Sapphire was and when I first went up, she ran under the bed. A few minutes later when I went back upstairs she was relaxing on my bed and a few minutes after that we were playing mice under the blanket and she was super playful chasing a ball around upstairs so I take it that means the dust up wasn't that serious and more so just her being dramatic.

I will see how she is around him tomorrow to see if she's more cautious or acting fine.

I'm not sure if I should be doing anything different during letting them interact. Unfortunately, things happen way too fast when they are that close to distract and if I was distracting before things get wild, that would be no different than the current treats face to face.

That's all for today. I will see how they are tomorrow :)
"First interaction update. It was pretty wild and pretty quick, and I hope things haven't been set back." - Ok, let's see

"It started as normal with Fluffy eating his food and Sapphire sitting watching him. After they ate, they had some treats about a foot or so way away." - Great, so far so good

" After a few treats, I let Fluffy go closer to her and she hissed and swatted at him and he stopped briefly." - Ok, expected, good he stopped.

" I gave them each another treat as a distraction and then Fluffy looked like he was trying to sniff her. She hissed and swatted again, but this time he jumped on her." - OK. How did it seem? More playful? Was it aggressive? Just annoyed?

" There was some intense rolling around on the ground and very loud shrieking/yelping/growling from Sapphire" - Ok, yes it will be like that at times.

" before she got out away and ran upstairs " - Ok, how long did it last?

"and I was able to stop Fluffy from chasing her" - Great

" and put him back in his room for bed time." - Ok

" I wasn't able to get a glimpse of what was going on during the rolling around to see for claws, teeth, etc," - Ok, was there any blood? Hair out?

" and Fluffy seemed perfectly fine afterwards with no puffy tail, raised back etc and he happily had his feeder ball and went to bed." - Really? That is great.

"I went upstairs to see how Sapphire was and when I first went up, she ran under the bed." - Ok, expected, I am not surprised. It was shocking to her. BUT I am so glad you could stop him from pursuing.

" A few minutes later when I went back upstairs she was relaxing on my bed and a few minutes after that we were playing mice under the blanket and she was super playful chasing a ball around upstairs so I take it that means the dust up wasn't that serious and more so just her being dramatic." - :yess: :hyper: :clap2: THAT tells me she did not really get affected by it. Fast rebound. Wil be interesting to see how they behaved when they see each other next.

"I will see how she is around him tomorrow to see if she's more cautious or acting fine." - Exactly. It is all about how they act after.

"I'm not sure if I should be doing anything different during letting them interact." - Other than reassure, use words, a toy they just need to find their relationship and develop an understanding.

" Unfortunately, things happen way too fast when they are that close to distract and if I was distracting before things get wild, that would be no different than the current treats face to face." - Yes, but they do need to eventually face each other and learn. So I now know where they are and how they really trust each other. So far, it seems like play from Fluffy and I think she realized that. But let's see how they act the next few times together.

"That's all for today. I will see how they are tomorrow :) " - Ok, sounds good.

"Update from this morning." - Great we got one already.

"Things seemed okay for the most part. Sapphire was sitting by Fluffy's door while I was making coffee and then sitting by her usual watching spot when I let him out behind the baby gates for breakfast" - Great

" before going up and hiding in the closet in her room." - Ok, how was her body language going up? Does she hide in her closet often?

"Fluffy seemed a bit more excited than usual to see her." - Ok, Good excited or annoyed excited?

"When she came back downstairs," - GREAT she came back downstairs!!

" I let Fluffy out " - SO no barrier between them?

"and Sapphire was a bit more tense, hissing and growling at him from across the room which she hasn't done in quite some time" - Ok, that is fine. Did he respect it?

" and Fluffy was still on the excited side." - Expected

"After I put Fluffy back in his room, Sapphire went back upstairs and was just laying in the closet again. " - Ok, did she seem normal? Good or neutral body language?

So overall (depending on how some of the questions are answered but assuming they are cautious responses) I would say on the positive side of neutral which is good. Doesn't seem like any real lingering issues (she would not play, or come down, etc if it was bad). I am assuming in that that the hiding in the closet is caution and not something she does once in a while as well.

Everyone eating normal? Walking around neutral or better? Etc.

So I think the next two days keep the face to face short, use treats, etc. If you can get her to watch him eat that could be helpful. Just keep it positive. I think she learned he might be a bit wild but he doesn't want to hurt her. She was unsettled, shocked but not scarred.

They have a strong base of trust and respect that is great.

Keep up the great work and ask anything. I am not at all bothered by this. They are going to be just fine.
 
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  • #378

Graham18

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"First interaction update. It was pretty wild and pretty quick, and I hope things haven't been set back." - Ok, let's see

"It started as normal with Fluffy eating his food and Sapphire sitting watching him. After they ate, they had some treats about a foot or so way away." - Great, so far so good

" After a few treats, I let Fluffy go closer to her and she hissed and swatted at him and he stopped briefly." - Ok, expected, good he stopped.

" I gave them each another treat as a distraction and then Fluffy looked like he was trying to sniff her. She hissed and swatted again, but this time he jumped on her." - OK. How did it seem? More playful? Was it aggressive? Just annoyed?

" There was some intense rolling around on the ground and very loud shrieking/yelping/growling from Sapphire" - Ok, yes it will be like that at times.

" before she got out away and ran upstairs " - Ok, how long did it last?

"and I was able to stop Fluffy from chasing her" - Great

" and put him back in his room for bed time." - Ok

" I wasn't able to get a glimpse of what was going on during the rolling around to see for claws, teeth, etc," - Ok, was there any blood? Hair out?

" and Fluffy seemed perfectly fine afterwards with no puffy tail, raised back etc and he happily had his feeder ball and went to bed." - Really? That is great.

"I went upstairs to see how Sapphire was and when I first went up, she ran under the bed." - Ok, expected, I am not surprised. It was shocking to her. BUT I am so glad you could stop him from pursuing.

" A few minutes later when I went back upstairs she was relaxing on my bed and a few minutes after that we were playing mice under the blanket and she was super playful chasing a ball around upstairs so I take it that means the dust up wasn't that serious and more so just her being dramatic." - :yess: :hyper: :clap2: THAT tells me she did not really get affected by it. Fast rebound. Wil be interesting to see how they behaved when they see each other next.

"I will see how she is around him tomorrow to see if she's more cautious or acting fine." - Exactly. It is all about how they act after.

"I'm not sure if I should be doing anything different during letting them interact." - Other than reassure, use words, a toy they just need to find their relationship and develop an understanding.

" Unfortunately, things happen way too fast when they are that close to distract and if I was distracting before things get wild, that would be no different than the current treats face to face." - Yes, but they do need to eventually face each other and learn. So I now know where they are and how they really trust each other. So far, it seems like play from Fluffy and I think she realized that. But let's see how they act the next few times together.

"That's all for today. I will see how they are tomorrow :) " - Ok, sounds good.

"Update from this morning." - Great we got one already.

"Things seemed okay for the most part. Sapphire was sitting by Fluffy's door while I was making coffee and then sitting by her usual watching spot when I let him out behind the baby gates for breakfast" - Great

" before going up and hiding in the closet in her room." - Ok, how was her body language going up? Does she hide in her closet often?

"Fluffy seemed a bit more excited than usual to see her." - Ok, Good excited or annoyed excited?

"When she came back downstairs," - GREAT she came back downstairs!!

" I let Fluffy out " - SO no barrier between them?

"and Sapphire was a bit more tense, hissing and growling at him from across the room which she hasn't done in quite some time" - Ok, that is fine. Did he respect it?

" and Fluffy was still on the excited side." - Expected

"After I put Fluffy back in his room, Sapphire went back upstairs and was just laying in the closet again. " - Ok, did she seem normal? Good or neutral body language?

So overall (depending on how some of the questions are answered but assuming they are cautious responses) I would say on the positive side of neutral which is good. Doesn't seem like any real lingering issues (she would not play, or come down, etc if it was bad). I am assuming in that that the hiding in the closet is caution and not something she does once in a while as well.

Everyone eating normal? Walking around neutral or better? Etc.

So I think the next two days keep the face to face short, use treats, etc. If you can get her to watch him eat that could be helpful. Just keep it positive. I think she learned he might be a bit wild but he doesn't want to hurt her. She was unsettled, shocked but not scarred.

They have a strong base of trust and respect that is great.

Keep up the great work and ask anything. I am not at all bothered by this. They are going to be just fine.
How did it seem? More playful? Was it aggressive? Just annoyed? - I think he was more on the playful side. I didn't seem aggressive, more so just rough play I think.

how long did it last? - the whole rolling and shrieking from Sapphire lasted only about 5 to 10 seconds before she managed to get away. It happened so fast that I couldn't see what Fluffy's true intent was but with how easy he was to catch I don't think it was aggressive.

Ok, was there any blood? Hair out? - no hair or blood. I checked Sapphire over as well and didn't see anything but I will keep an eye out for any bumps etc.

Ok, how was her body language going up? Does she hide in her closet often? - Her body language seemed normal. When I say normal, she always acts a bit on the cautious or anxious side. She was just laying down in it looking relaxed. I almost never see her go in the closet as it's not very hidden. The door is open to it and there are boxes filling the back so other than stuff hanging above her, she's basically wide in the open. Her usual hiding spot is under the bed way towards the back.

Ok, Good excited or annoyed excited? - I think playful excited but it's really hard to tell. Possibly a bit frustrated/annoyed he couldn't go to her.

SO no barrier between them? - no barrier and no harness. Sapphire was far enough away that I don't even know if he heard her sounds as they were really quiet but from how she was sitting and looking she was definitely saying don't come over here and I try anything or I will run. My guess is had I allowed him to interact with her, he would have jumped her again.

Ok, did she seem normal? Good or neutral body language? - she was just relaxing. Didn't seem scared or anything at that point.

Everyone also seems to be normal. A bit more anxiousness from Sapphire maybe. She did eat all her food overnight and she hadn't eaten when I left for work yet but I think the changing outdoor light is screwing up her schedule and she'll most likely have eaten it all by early afternoon.

I will keep the face to face sessions short and sweet. It may be the weekend before we attempt another interaction as Thursday and Friday nights I'm alone for the sessions.
 

calicosrspecial

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How did it seem? More playful? Was it aggressive? Just annoyed? - I think he was more on the playful side. I didn't seem aggressive, more so just rough play I think.

how long did it last? - the whole rolling and shrieking from Sapphire lasted only about 5 to 10 seconds before she managed to get away. It happened so fast that I couldn't see what Fluffy's true intent was but with how easy he was to catch I don't think it was aggressive.

Ok, was there any blood? Hair out? - no hair or blood. I checked Sapphire over as well and didn't see anything but I will keep an eye out for any bumps etc.

Ok, how was her body language going up? Does she hide in her closet often? - Her body language seemed normal. When I say normal, she always acts a bit on the cautious or anxious side. She was just laying down in it looking relaxed. I almost never see her go in the closet as it's not very hidden. The door is open to it and there are boxes filling the back so other than stuff hanging above her, she's basically wide in the open. Her usual hiding spot is under the bed way towards the back.

Ok, Good excited or annoyed excited? - I think playful excited but it's really hard to tell. Possibly a bit frustrated/annoyed he couldn't go to her.

SO no barrier between them? - no barrier and no harness. Sapphire was far enough away that I don't even know if he heard her sounds as they were really quiet but from how she was sitting and looking she was definitely saying don't come over here and I try anything or I will run. My guess is had I allowed him to interact with her, he would have jumped her again.

Ok, did she seem normal? Good or neutral body language? - she was just relaxing. Didn't seem scared or anything at that point.

Everyone also seems to be normal. A bit more anxiousness from Sapphire maybe. She did eat all her food overnight and she hadn't eaten when I left for work yet but I think the changing outdoor light is screwing up her schedule and she'll most likely have eaten it all by early afternoon.

I will keep the face to face sessions short and sweet. It may be the weekend before we attempt another interaction as Thursday and Friday nights I'm alone for the sessions.
"How did it seem? More playful? Was it aggressive? Just annoyed? - I think he was more on the playful side. I didn't seem aggressive, more so just rough play I think." - That is what I figured given his personality and how they acted after. Very good

"how long did it last? - the whole rolling and shrieking from Sapphire lasted only about 5 to 10 seconds before she managed to get away." - GREAT!!!! He did not have bad intent.

" It happened so fast that I couldn't see what Fluffy's true intent was but with how easy he was to catch I don't think it was aggressive." - Everything points to that.

"Ok, was there any blood? Hair out? - no hair or blood. I checked Sapphire over as well and didn't see anything but I will keep an eye out for any bumps etc." - Great. I figured that but always good to get confirmation.

"Ok, how was her body language going up? Does she hide in her closet often? - Her body language seemed normal. When I say normal, she always acts a bit on the cautious or anxious side. She was just laying down in it looking relaxed. I almost never see her go in the closet as it's not very hidden. The door is open to it and there are boxes filling the back so other than stuff hanging above her, she's basically wide in the open. " - Great!!! That does not sound like a problem (hiding) or anything. Great

"Her usual hiding spot is under the bed way towards the back." - Makes sense

"Ok, Good excited or annoyed excited? - I think playful excited but it's really hard to tell. Possibly a bit frustrated/annoyed he couldn't go to her." - Ok, yes likely.

"SO no barrier between them? - no barrier and no harness. Sapphire was far enough away that I don't even know if he heard her sounds as they were really quiet but from how she was sitting and looking she was definitely saying don't come over here and I try anything or I will run. My guess is had I allowed him to interact with her, he would have jumped her again." - Wow, that tells me you have trust in them. So it wasn't that bad in your eyes. Excellent. Maybe he would have. BUT they were fine. Excellent!!

"Ok, did she seem normal? Good or neutral body language? - she was just relaxing. Didn't seem scared or anything at that point." - Perfect, tells me she didn't think it was that bad. Great

"Everyone also seems to be normal." - Great

" A bit more anxiousness from Sapphire maybe. " - Understandable BUT as long as it isn't followed up with something serious she will be fine and learn he isn't so bad. I think she already is mostly there now.

"She did eat all her food overnight" - Great. Yep, she is fine.

" and she hadn't eaten when I left for work yet but I think the changing outdoor light is screwing up her schedule and she'll most likely have eaten it all by early afternoon." - Understandable. Not an issue.

"I will keep the face to face sessions short and sweet. It may be the weekend before we attempt another interaction as Thursday and Friday nights I'm alone for the sessions." - Sounds good.

Well, I am definitely even more positive about this. They were tested, we learned a lot and so did they and they are fine. I think they get an A as they passed with flying colors. This was another step in getting to a full, successful intro.

Keep up the great work!!!
 
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  • #380

Graham18

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"How did it seem? More playful? Was it aggressive? Just annoyed? - I think he was more on the playful side. I didn't seem aggressive, more so just rough play I think." - That is what I figured given his personality and how they acted after. Very good

"how long did it last? - the whole rolling and shrieking from Sapphire lasted only about 5 to 10 seconds before she managed to get away." - GREAT!!!! He did not have bad intent.

" It happened so fast that I couldn't see what Fluffy's true intent was but with how easy he was to catch I don't think it was aggressive." - Everything points to that.

"Ok, was there any blood? Hair out? - no hair or blood. I checked Sapphire over as well and didn't see anything but I will keep an eye out for any bumps etc." - Great. I figured that but always good to get confirmation.

"Ok, how was her body language going up? Does she hide in her closet often? - Her body language seemed normal. When I say normal, she always acts a bit on the cautious or anxious side. She was just laying down in it looking relaxed. I almost never see her go in the closet as it's not very hidden. The door is open to it and there are boxes filling the back so other than stuff hanging above her, she's basically wide in the open. " - Great!!! That does not sound like a problem (hiding) or anything. Great

"Her usual hiding spot is under the bed way towards the back." - Makes sense

"Ok, Good excited or annoyed excited? - I think playful excited but it's really hard to tell. Possibly a bit frustrated/annoyed he couldn't go to her." - Ok, yes likely.

"SO no barrier between them? - no barrier and no harness. Sapphire was far enough away that I don't even know if he heard her sounds as they were really quiet but from how she was sitting and looking she was definitely saying don't come over here and I try anything or I will run. My guess is had I allowed him to interact with her, he would have jumped her again." - Wow, that tells me you have trust in them. So it wasn't that bad in your eyes. Excellent. Maybe he would have. BUT they were fine. Excellent!!

"Ok, did she seem normal? Good or neutral body language? - she was just relaxing. Didn't seem scared or anything at that point." - Perfect, tells me she didn't think it was that bad. Great

"Everyone also seems to be normal." - Great

" A bit more anxiousness from Sapphire maybe. " - Understandable BUT as long as it isn't followed up with something serious she will be fine and learn he isn't so bad. I think she already is mostly there now.

"She did eat all her food overnight" - Great. Yep, she is fine.

" and she hadn't eaten when I left for work yet but I think the changing outdoor light is screwing up her schedule and she'll most likely have eaten it all by early afternoon." - Understandable. Not an issue.

"I will keep the face to face sessions short and sweet. It may be the weekend before we attempt another interaction as Thursday and Friday nights I'm alone for the sessions." - Sounds good.

Well, I am definitely even more positive about this. They were tested, we learned a lot and so did they and they are fine. I think they get an A as they passed with flying colors. This was another step in getting to a full, successful intro.

Keep up the great work!!!
Thank you for your support!

Even though I tried my best to stay calm and think positive, there is still that part of me that is thinking it was negative, or looking at every small thing and thinking that it's something bad, or even constantly thinking that maybe I'm missing something and he's not playing, etc etc.

I will keep going and hope for the best.
 
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