Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

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She wasnt really reacting at all when he would start towards her. She would kind of just sit there waiting for a treat.

I will work towards giving Fluffy a bit more leeway. I'm usually alone at the time so in the event that she runs, he pounces, etc etc, I'm not sure that I would have the ability to intervene so I'm taking it slowly on that front.

I don't ever use the playpen anymore either. It's just out because it is semi difficult to put away and Fluffy likes to just go lay in it sometimes when he's out by himself.

Tonight I may try feeding them with no harness. I'm sure it'll go the same as with the harness on but we will see.
"She wasnt really reacting at all when he would start towards her." - GREAT!!! :clap2:

"She would kind of just sit there waiting for a treat." - Hahahaha, great. Food is more attractive than fear of him. ;)

"I will work towards giving Fluffy a bit more leeway." - Ok

" I'm usually alone at the time so in the event that she runs, he pounces, etc etc, I'm not sure that I would have the ability to intervene so I'm taking it slowly on that front." - Ok. She'll have to do her part as well. Just play it by ear and try to find that balance.

"I don't ever use the playpen anymore either. It's just out because it is semi difficult to put away and " - Yes

"Fluffy likes to just go lay in it sometimes when he's out by himself." - Interesting. Hmmmmm, then maybe leave it for now since he likes it.

"Tonight I may try feeding them with no harness. I'm sure it'll go the same as with the harness on but we will see. " - Ok, that is fine either way.
 
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"She wasnt really reacting at all when he would start towards her." - GREAT!!! :clap2:

"She would kind of just sit there waiting for a treat." - Hahahaha, great. Food is more attractive than fear of him. ;)

"I will work towards giving Fluffy a bit more leeway." - Ok

" I'm usually alone at the time so in the event that she runs, he pounces, etc etc, I'm not sure that I would have the ability to intervene so I'm taking it slowly on that front." - Ok. She'll have to do her part as well. Just play it by ear and try to find that balance.

"I don't ever use the playpen anymore either. It's just out because it is semi difficult to put away and " - Yes

"Fluffy likes to just go lay in it sometimes when he's out by himself." - Interesting. Hmmmmm, then maybe leave it for now since he likes it.

"Tonight I may try feeding them with no harness. I'm sure it'll go the same as with the harness on but we will see. " - Ok, that is fine either way.
Last night I did end up letting them eat together with no harness on. It went as expected, very similar to with the harness on. Fluffy was a bit faster but once he was done eating, I was still able to distract with treats before he would try and go to Sapphire again. She seemed a bit off last night and a little hesitant when he was out. It could be because she just had her claws clipped so she may have been upset from that.

This morning I let Fluffy get a bit closer to her while they were on the ground. He was being good but I could tell he was getting excited by his tail thrashing back and forth the closer he got. Sapphire would hiss at him if he looked at her and then growl until I gave her a treat.

Nothing spectacular, but I will keep trying to let them get a little bit closer.
 

calicosrspecial

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Last night I did end up letting them eat together with no harness on. It went as expected, very similar to with the harness on. Fluffy was a bit faster but once he was done eating, I was still able to distract with treats before he would try and go to Sapphire again. She seemed a bit off last night and a little hesitant when he was out. It could be because she just had her claws clipped so she may have been upset from that.

This morning I let Fluffy get a bit closer to her while they were on the ground. He was being good but I could tell he was getting excited by his tail thrashing back and forth the closer he got. Sapphire would hiss at him if he looked at her and then growl until I gave her a treat.

Nothing spectacular, but I will keep trying to let them get a little bit closer.
"Last night I did end up letting them eat together with no harness on." - Great

" It went as expected, very similar to with the harness on." - Great!!!

" Fluffy was a bit faster but once he was done eating," - Do you have a slow feeder for him?

" I was still able to distract with treats before he would try and go to Sapphire again." - Great

"She seemed a bit off last night and a little hesitant when he was out. It could be because she just had her claws clipped so she may have been upset from that." - Ok, that will happen. He didn't do anything so whatever fear she may have had was unrealized.

"This morning I let Fluffy get a bit closer to her while they were on the ground. He was being good" - Great

" but I could tell he was getting excited by his tail thrashing back and forth the closer he got." - Exactly, normal and expected

" Sapphire would hiss at him if he looked at her and then growl until I gave her a treat." - Awwwww, and he respected it?

"Nothing spectacular, but I will keep trying to let them get a little bit closer. " - Sounds fantastic to me!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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"Last night I did end up letting them eat together with no harness on." - Great

" It went as expected, very similar to with the harness on." - Great!!!

" Fluffy was a bit faster but once he was done eating," - Do you have a slow feeder for him?

" I was still able to distract with treats before he would try and go to Sapphire again." - Great

"She seemed a bit off last night and a little hesitant when he was out. It could be because she just had her claws clipped so she may have been upset from that." - Ok, that will happen. He didn't do anything so whatever fear she may have had was unrealized.

"This morning I let Fluffy get a bit closer to her while they were on the ground. He was being good" - Great

" but I could tell he was getting excited by his tail thrashing back and forth the closer he got." - Exactly, normal and expected

" Sapphire would hiss at him if he looked at her and then growl until I gave her a treat." - Awwwww, and he respected it?

"Nothing spectacular, but I will keep trying to let them get a little bit closer. " - Sounds fantastic to me!!! :)
I've tried a ton of slow feeders and he struggles with all of them and gives up pretty quickly unfortunately :(

I also have to hover over him when he's out or he immediately goes towards Sapphire. It's tough to say if he was respecting her hissing and growling or not. He was more interested in the treat bag I was holding, but when I would stop giving treats, it seemed like whenever she hissed or growled, that's what started to get him excited/worked up. I notice that his tail really starts going when she hisses or growls at him and he tends to focus more on her when she's doing it.
 

calicosrspecial

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I've tried a ton of slow feeders and he struggles with all of them and gives up pretty quickly unfortunately :(

I also have to hover over him when he's out or he immediately goes towards Sapphire. It's tough to say if he was respecting her hissing and growling or not. He was more interested in the treat bag I was holding, but when I would stop giving treats, it seemed like whenever she hissed or growled, that's what started to get him excited/worked up. I notice that his tail really starts going when she hisses or growls at him and he tends to focus more on her when she's doing it.
'I've tried a ton of slow feeders and he struggles with all of them and gives up pretty quickly unfortunately :( " - :(

"I also have to hover over him when he's out or he immediately goes towards Sapphire." - Ok. I would love to get less "hovering" but I understand that what has to be done sometimes.

" It's tough to say if he was respecting her hissing and growling or not. " - Ok

"He was more interested in the treat bag I was holding, but when I would stop giving treats, it seemed like whenever she hissed or growled, that's what started to get him excited/worked up." - Yes. It is good he was more interested in the treats. But I wish she was a bit more forceful inletting him know she is not all that interested (if in fact she really isn't interested in playing).

" I notice that his tail really starts going when she hisses or growls at him and he tends to focus more on her when she's doing it. " - Ok. I get a sense he thinks she wants to play/engage. I get a sense she kinda wants to play but is still unsure. But that is why she is giving off a less "stern" deterrent of hissing/growling.

We'll just keep doing what we are doing and she if a little more progress can be made. Then we can let them engage and get it out of their system. :/
 
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'I've tried a ton of slow feeders and he struggles with all of them and gives up pretty quickly unfortunately :( " - :(

"I also have to hover over him when he's out or he immediately goes towards Sapphire." - Ok. I would love to get less "hovering" but I understand that what has to be done sometimes.

" It's tough to say if he was respecting her hissing and growling or not. " - Ok

"He was more interested in the treat bag I was holding, but when I would stop giving treats, it seemed like whenever she hissed or growled, that's what started to get him excited/worked up." - Yes. It is good he was more interested in the treats. But I wish she was a bit more forceful inletting him know she is not all that interested (if in fact she really isn't interested in playing).

" I notice that his tail really starts going when she hisses or growls at him and he tends to focus more on her when she's doing it. " - Ok. I get a sense he thinks she wants to play/engage. I get a sense she kinda wants to play but is still unsure. But that is why she is giving off a less "stern" deterrent of hissing/growling.

We'll just keep doing what we are doing and she if a little more progress can be made. Then we can let them engage and get it out of their system. :/
I will definitely keep it up!
I'm unsure how forceful she would be if he actually got close to her. The hissing/spitting/growling I saw today was with him a few feet away. In the past, she'll usually swat at him a few times when he gets too close which most of the time triggers him to try and play/swat back at her with the odd time being he backs down. On a positive note she hasn't ran away yet and doesn't seem likely too unless they were to get into an altercation.

Do you have any suggestions on things I can do when they are out together. Right now, after they eat, I usually sit or stand half way between them with treats and I will alternate back and forth giving them treats. I'm not sure what else I could be doing at this phase that isn't really hovering around as if I were to stop, Fluffy would just go straight to Sapphire. Do you have any suggestions?

Update: I managed to keep Fluffy out for about 15 minutes tonight and even got him to play slightly. He just laid down beside me for awhile and every now and then I would get up and start walking towards Sapphire so I would distract him with another treat, but they weren't needed constantly.

Sapphire surprised me quite a bit. At first she was crouched down looking anxious, but she did come down to the floor to eat. Then I was in the kitchen trying to play with Fluffy and Sapphire started walking over in that direction. I distracted her back in the other direction and then I just had Fluffy laying on the floor so they could watch eachother for a few minutes. Then again, out of no where she casually walked right over to Fluffy. I was able to give them both a treat and keep them from fully interacting and everything ended well.

At times like that I tend to panic a little but I also want to keep calm and I just instinctively go for treats without letting them interact. Either way I'm happy that Sapphire seemed perfectly fine just coming over.
 
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calicosrspecial

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I will definitely keep it up!
I'm unsure how forceful she would be if he actually got close to her. The hissing/spitting/growling I saw today was with him a few feet away. In the past, she'll usually swat at him a few times when he gets too close which most of the time triggers him to try and play/swat back at her with the odd time being he backs down. On a positive note she hasn't ran away yet and doesn't seem likely too unless they were to get into an altercation.

Do you have any suggestions on things I can do when they are out together. Right now, after they eat, I usually sit or stand half way between them with treats and I will alternate back and forth giving them treats. I'm not sure what else I could be doing at this phase that isn't really hovering around as if I were to stop, Fluffy would just go straight to Sapphire. Do you have any suggestions?

Update: I managed to keep Fluffy out for about 15 minutes tonight and even got him to play slightly. He just laid down beside me for awhile and every now and then I would get up and start walking towards Sapphire so I would distract him with another treat, but they weren't needed constantly.

Sapphire surprised me quite a bit. At first she was crouched down looking anxious, but she did come down to the floor to eat. Then I was in the kitchen trying to play with Fluffy and Sapphire started walking over in that direction. I distracted her back in the other direction and then I just had Fluffy laying on the floor so they could watch eachother for a few minutes. Then again, out of no where she casually walked right over to Fluffy. I was able to give them both a treat and keep them from fully interacting and everything ended well.

At times like that I tend to panic a little but I also want to keep calm and I just instinctively go for treats without letting them interact. Either way I'm happy that Sapphire seemed perfectly fine just coming over.
"I will definitely keep it up!" - :)

"I'm unsure how forceful she would be if he actually got close to her." - Ok. I am guessing she has a much better understanding of him and his intentions now vs before. So it may be more subdued. But we will see. How he respects her "space" will determine the interaction. I don't see him wanting to harm her so it might sound a bit bad but I doubt it will escalate into something serious.

"The hissing/spitting/growling I saw today was with him a few feet away." - Ok, that is fine.

" In the past, she'll usually swat at him a few times when he gets too close" - Yes. So a month ago would she have swatted him when they were this close?

" which most of the time triggers him to try and play/swat back at her with the odd time being he backs down." - Yes

" On a positive note she hasn't ran away yet" - GREAT!!! That tells me she trusts him more.

"and doesn't seem likely too unless they were to get into an altercation." - Yes.

"Do you have any suggestions on things I can do when they are out together." - Yes, distract with words, a toy, love (If totally safe). Anything that is calm, confident and positive.

" Right now, after they eat, I usually sit or stand half way between them with treats and I will alternate back and forth giving them treats." - Great but we will want to use less treats in time.

" I'm not sure what else I could be doing at this phase that isn't really hovering around as if I were to stop, " - Well, sitting between them isn't really hovering imo. Hovering is more standing over, moving quickly to reposition, etc.

"Fluffy would just go straight to Sapphire." - Yes, probably.

" Do you have any suggestions?" - A toy, words to get them to look at you, safe love IF and only if you are totally safe from a bite, a scratch, etc. Getting them to look at you or something else is key to get them not focused on the other cat.

"Update: I managed to keep Fluffy out for about 15 minutes tonight and even got him to play slightly. " - :yess: :hyper: :clap2:

"He just laid down beside me for awhile" - Perfect!!

" and every now and then I would get up and start walking towards Sapphire so I would distract him with another treat, but they weren't needed constantly." AWESOME!!! GREAT JOB!!! EXACTLY what we want!!! :)

"Sapphire surprised me quite a bit.: Great!!!

" At first she was crouched down looking anxious," - Ok not surprising.

" but she did come down to the floor to eat." Fantastic!!

" Then I was in the kitchen trying to play with Fluffy and Sapphire started walking over in that direction." - That is great.

" I distracted her back in the other direction" - Ok but maybe one of these times when you feel comfortable try to distract him and let her watch.

"and then I just had Fluffy laying on the floor so they could watch eachother for a few minutes." - PERFECT!!! YOU are REALLY doing a GREAT JOB!!!

" Then again, out of no where she casually walked right over to Fluffy." - :yess::hyper::clap2:

"I was able to give them both a treat and keep them from fully interacting and everything ended well." -PERFECT!!! WOW!! GREAT JOB!!!

"At times like that I tend to panic a little" - The vast majority of people do!!! :)

" but I also want to keep calm" - Exactly, great.

" and I just instinctively go for treats without letting them interact." - Ok, that is fine. Often the humans lag the cats in trusting.

" Either way I'm happy that Sapphire seemed perfectly fine just coming over." - Oh my, this is ENORMOUS!!! Such a BIG DEAL!!! AND he behaved which is even better.

GREAT JOB!!! You are pretty much there. A few more of these, seeing them look away from each other etc and they will be successfully fully intro'd!!! :) :cheerleader:

I AM SO PROUD of you, your partner, Fluffy and Sapphire!!!
 
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Graham18

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"I will definitely keep it up!" - :)

"I'm unsure how forceful she would be if he actually got close to her." - Ok. I am guessing she has a much better understanding of him and his intentions now vs before. So it may be more subdued. But we will see. How he respects her "space" will determine the interaction. I don't see him wanting to harm her so it might sound a bit bad but I doubt it will escalate into something serious.

"The hissing/spitting/growling I saw today was with him a few feet away." - Ok, that is fine.

" In the past, she'll usually swat at him a few times when he gets too close" - Yes. So a month ago would she have swatted him when they were this close?

" which most of the time triggers him to try and play/swat back at her with the odd time being he backs down." - Yes

" On a positive note she hasn't ran away yet" - GREAT!!! That tells me she trusts him more.

"and doesn't seem likely too unless they were to get into an altercation." - Yes.

"Do you have any suggestions on things I can do when they are out together." - Yes, distract with words, a toy, love (If totally safe). Anything that is calm, confident and positive.

" Right now, after they eat, I usually sit or stand half way between them with treats and I will alternate back and forth giving them treats." - Great but we will want to use less treats in time.

" I'm not sure what else I could be doing at this phase that isn't really hovering around as if I were to stop, " - Well, sitting between them isn't really hovering imo. Hovering is more standing over, moving quickly to reposition, etc.

"Fluffy would just go straight to Sapphire." - Yes, probably.

" Do you have any suggestions?" - A toy, words to get them to look at you, safe love IF and only if you are totally safe from a bite, a scratch, etc. Getting them to look at you or something else is key to get them not focused on the other cat.

"Update: I managed to keep Fluffy out for about 15 minutes tonight and even got him to play slightly. " - :yess: :hyper: :clap2:

"He just laid down beside me for awhile" - Perfect!!

" and every now and then I would get up and start walking towards Sapphire so I would distract him with another treat, but they weren't needed constantly." AWESOME!!! GREAT JOB!!! EXACTLY what we want!!! :)

"Sapphire surprised me quite a bit.: Great!!!

" At first she was crouched down looking anxious," - Ok not surprising.

" but she did come down to the floor to eat." Fantastic!!

" Then I was in the kitchen trying to play with Fluffy and Sapphire started walking over in that direction." - That is great.

" I distracted her back in the other direction" - Ok but maybe one of these times when you feel comfortable try to distract him and let her watch.

"and then I just had Fluffy laying on the floor so they could watch eachother for a few minutes." - PERFECT!!! YOU are REALLY doing a GREAT JOB!!!

" Then again, out of no where she casually walked right over to Fluffy." - :yess::hyper::clap2:

"I was able to give them both a treat and keep them from fully interacting and everything ended well." -PERFECT!!! WOW!! GREAT JOB!!!

"At times like that I tend to panic a little" - The vast majority of people do!!! :)

" but I also want to keep calm" - Exactly, great.

" and I just instinctively go for treats without letting them interact." - Ok, that is fine. Often the humans lag the cats in trusting.

" Either way I'm happy that Sapphire seemed perfectly fine just coming over." - Oh my, this is ENORMOUS!!! Such a BIG DEAL!!! AND he behaved which is even better.

GREAT JOB!!! You are pretty much there. A few more of these, seeing them look away from each other etc and they will be successfully fully intro'd!!! :) :cheerleader:

I AM SO PROUD of you, your partner, Fluffy and Sapphire!!!
To answer your question, she'll USUALLY swat at him when he gets too close to her, however in these situations recently, he has still been about 3 or 4 feet from her.

I will continue to try and use other methods to distract him. Tonight unfortunately, I didn't have much luck with anything except treats. He wasn't interested in playing and talking to him/petting him wasn't seeming to keep him calm. He was a bit of a handful tonight and within seconds of no treat, he was immediately wanting to go to Sapphire. There were even a few times where I had to move in front of him as he was too focused on her and not responding to the treats.

Towards the end of the session, I had my back turned away from Sapphire and she ran over again to try and get the treat I was going to give to Fluffy. It caught be a bit by surprise because I wasn't expecting it two nights in a row. There was a little time period before I was able to throw the treat, and it was actually Fluffy who raised his paw to her. I don't believe it was aggressive. I think he was either getting ready to try and play or he was getting a bit defensive towards her expecting her to hit him. Sapphire backed up slightly, gave out a loud hiss and I just placed my hand on Fluffy's chest allowing Sapphire to go and get the treat that I threw and giving me time to break Fluffy's focus on her with a treat. The whole thing happened in a matter of about 10 seconds so I'm having trouble recalling the finer details, but, Sapphire ended up just sitting where she ate her treat staring at him and I threw a treat into his room and he went back in nicely and they were both completely fine.

Had I not used my hand on his chest, he most likely would have tried to chase her or jump on her, but I'm really unsure of what was going on with either of them for the whole time and I just did what I thought was best in a slight panic.
 

calicosrspecial

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To answer your question, she'll USUALLY swat at him when he gets too close to her, however in these situations recently, he has still been about 3 or 4 feet from her.

I will continue to try and use other methods to distract him. Tonight unfortunately, I didn't have much luck with anything except treats. He wasn't interested in playing and talking to him/petting him wasn't seeming to keep him calm. He was a bit of a handful tonight and within seconds of no treat, he was immediately wanting to go to Sapphire. There were even a few times where I had to move in front of him as he was too focused on her and not responding to the treats.

Towards the end of the session, I had my back turned away from Sapphire and she ran over again to try and get the treat I was going to give to Fluffy. It caught be a bit by surprise because I wasn't expecting it two nights in a row. There was a little time period before I was able to throw the treat, and it was actually Fluffy who raised his paw to her. I don't believe it was aggressive. I think he was either getting ready to try and play or he was getting a bit defensive towards her expecting her to hit him. Sapphire backed up slightly, gave out a loud hiss and I just placed my hand on Fluffy's chest allowing Sapphire to go and get the treat that I threw and giving me time to break Fluffy's focus on her with a treat. The whole thing happened in a matter of about 10 seconds so I'm having trouble recalling the finer details, but, Sapphire ended up just sitting where she ate her treat staring at him and I threw a treat into his room and he went back in nicely and they were both completely fine.

Had I not used my hand on his chest, he most likely would have tried to chase her or jump on her, but I'm really unsure of what was going on with either of them for the whole time and I just did what I thought was best in a slight panic.
"To answer your question, she'll USUALLY swat at him when he gets too close to her, however in these situations recently, he has still been about 3 or 4 feet from her." - Ok. I was hoping he could get a little closer but it is fine.

"I will continue to try and use other methods to distract him." - Great

" Tonight unfortunately, I didn't have much luck with anything except treats. He wasn't interested in playing and talking to him/petting him wasn't seeming to keep him calm. " - Ok. BUT at least he wasn't attacking her. So I take it that he just wants to be with her. SHe needs to learn and trust that he doesn't mean harm (and she is getting there).

"He was a bit of a handful tonight and within seconds of no treat, he was immediately wanting to go to Sapphire. There were even a few times where I had to move in front of him as he was too focused on her and not responding to the treats." Awwwww, how was his body language? How was hers?

"Towards the end of the session, I had my back turned away from Sapphire and she ran over again to try and get the treat I was going to give to Fluffy. It caught be a bit by surprise because I wasn't expecting it two nights in a row." - Awwwwwwww, that tells me that she isn't really afraid of him. Especially when he isn't focused on her. Really great.

"There was a little time period before I was able to throw the treat, and it was actually Fluffy who raised his paw to her." - Awwwww, he expected her to swat him. :( Poor guy.

" I don't believe it was aggressive." - Yes, that was my take.

" I think he was either getting ready to try and play or he was getting a bit defensive towards her expecting her to hit him." - Maybe to play but I thought it was defensive as he expected her to hit him. :/ But it could very well be play.

" Sapphire backed up slightly, gave out a loud hiss" - Wow, pretty good.

" and I just placed my hand on Fluffy's chest allowing Sapphire to go and get the treat that I threw and giving me time to break Fluffy's focus on her with a treat." - Awwwwww, you trust him. That tells me in your heart you really don't fear he is going to hurt her.

" The whole thing happened in a matter of about 10 seconds so I'm having trouble recalling the finer details," - Understandable.

" but, Sapphire ended up just sitting where she ate her treat staring at him" - WOW!!! AWESOME!!

"and I threw a treat into his room and he went back in nicely and they were both completely fine." - :yess: :hyper: :clap2: That so builds her confidence and trust!!!

"Had I not used my hand on his chest, he most likely would have tried to chase her or jump on her, " - Maybe.

"but I'm really unsure of what was going on with either of them for the whole time and I just did what I thought was best in a slight panic. " - You did great!!! Fantastic!!! NOW, I wouldn't recommend using a hand to block since a cat can scratch, bite, etc (redirected aggression) BUT you must trust them. Your instinct.

So overall, again fantastic!!! She is showing a lot of trust and confidence, he is behaving. Not sure it can be much better. He wants to engage with her so we will at some point have to allow it. I think soon. :) As long as she is doing this well!!!

GREAT JOB!!!
 
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"To answer your question, she'll USUALLY swat at him when he gets too close to her, however in these situations recently, he has still been about 3 or 4 feet from her." - Ok. I was hoping he could get a little closer but it is fine.

"I will continue to try and use other methods to distract him." - Great

" Tonight unfortunately, I didn't have much luck with anything except treats. He wasn't interested in playing and talking to him/petting him wasn't seeming to keep him calm. " - Ok. BUT at least he wasn't attacking her. So I take it that he just wants to be with her. SHe needs to learn and trust that he doesn't mean harm (and she is getting there).

"He was a bit of a handful tonight and within seconds of no treat, he was immediately wanting to go to Sapphire. There were even a few times where I had to move in front of him as he was too focused on her and not responding to the treats." Awwwww, how was his body language? How was hers?

"Towards the end of the session, I had my back turned away from Sapphire and she ran over again to try and get the treat I was going to give to Fluffy. It caught be a bit by surprise because I wasn't expecting it two nights in a row." - Awwwwwwww, that tells me that she isn't really afraid of him. Especially when he isn't focused on her. Really great.

"There was a little time period before I was able to throw the treat, and it was actually Fluffy who raised his paw to her." - Awwwww, he expected her to swat him. :( Poor guy.

" I don't believe it was aggressive." - Yes, that was my take.

" I think he was either getting ready to try and play or he was getting a bit defensive towards her expecting her to hit him." - Maybe to play but I thought it was defensive as he expected her to hit him. :/ But it could very well be play.

" Sapphire backed up slightly, gave out a loud hiss" - Wow, pretty good.

" and I just placed my hand on Fluffy's chest allowing Sapphire to go and get the treat that I threw and giving me time to break Fluffy's focus on her with a treat." - Awwwwww, you trust him. That tells me in your heart you really don't fear he is going to hurt her.

" The whole thing happened in a matter of about 10 seconds so I'm having trouble recalling the finer details," - Understandable.

" but, Sapphire ended up just sitting where she ate her treat staring at him" - WOW!!! AWESOME!!

"and I threw a treat into his room and he went back in nicely and they were both completely fine." - :yess: :hyper: :clap2: That so builds her confidence and trust!!!

"Had I not used my hand on his chest, he most likely would have tried to chase her or jump on her, " - Maybe.

"but I'm really unsure of what was going on with either of them for the whole time and I just did what I thought was best in a slight panic. " - You did great!!! Fantastic!!! NOW, I wouldn't recommend using a hand to block since a cat can scratch, bite, etc (redirected aggression) BUT you must trust them. Your instinct.

So overall, again fantastic!!! She is showing a lot of trust and confidence, he is behaving. Not sure it can be much better. He wants to engage with her so we will at some point have to allow it. I think soon. :) As long as she is doing this well!!!

GREAT JOB!!!
Overall body language seemed okay. Sapphire seemed angry when Fluffy raised his paw to her and to be honest I was so fast to react that I didn't really get a good glimpse of his body language.

I was worried it would escalate if I didn't hold him back with my hand, however I wasn't worried about him being so aggressive that he would go after my hand or arm instead.

It's times like these I wish I had a body camera to take videos.
 

calicosrspecial

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Overall body language seemed okay. Sapphire seemed angry when Fluffy raised his paw to her and to be honest I was so fast to react that I didn't really get a good glimpse of his body language.

I was worried it would escalate if I didn't hold him back with my hand, however I wasn't worried about him being so aggressive that he would go after my hand or arm instead.

It's times like these I wish I had a body camera to take videos.
"Overall body language seemed okay." - Good. It must have been ok since it didn't lead to anything negative and lead to lingering behavior issues.

" Sapphire seemed angry when Fluffy raised his paw to her " - I can see that. Not surprising. Even happy, bonded cats can have moments.................... As long as they resolve it then it isn't anything to really worry about.

"and to be honest I was so fast to react that I didn't really get a good glimpse of his body language." - Yes. But IF it was something meaningful they would have showed it for a while after.

"I was worried it would escalate if I didn't hold him back with my hand, " - Yes

"however I wasn't worried about him being so aggressive that he would go after my hand or arm instead." - Yes

"It's times like these I wish I had a body camera to take videos. " - Yes BUT how they act after tells us all we need to know. If they act like it was nothing, it was nothing. ;)

Keep up the great work. You are showing really good cat skills!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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Nothing new to report!
Intros seem to be going pretty good and same as always. Sapphire seems almost curious about Fluffy and almost possibly interested in play but not quite yet. She enjoys watching him from a little distance but seems to be acting fine. She hasn't snuck up on him again, however Fluffy hasn't been out for as long as the other two times. I've been trying to minimize the treats as much as possible, but eventually, Fluffy trying to go see her just becomes too difficult to distract from as he gets more excited.

They also had a little pawing time at the gates tonight. Sapphire came over and they were kind of sniffing noses and pawing at the same time. Sapphire gave a few tiny hisses and Fluffy's pawing started to get faster and faster so Sapphire decided to go lay down and then Fluffy just cries and cries until I take him downstairs to see her.

Overall nothing super exciting although I can see minor progress. I just need to gain the courage to possibly try and let them get closer together, however I'm unsure if I'd be able to intervene at that point if things started to escalate.
 

calicosrspecial

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Nothing new to report!
Intros seem to be going pretty good and same as always. Sapphire seems almost curious about Fluffy and almost possibly interested in play but not quite yet. She enjoys watching him from a little distance but seems to be acting fine. She hasn't snuck up on him again, however Fluffy hasn't been out for as long as the other two times. I've been trying to minimize the treats as much as possible, but eventually, Fluffy trying to go see her just becomes too difficult to distract from as he gets more excited.

They also had a little pawing time at the gates tonight. Sapphire came over and they were kind of sniffing noses and pawing at the same time. Sapphire gave a few tiny hisses and Fluffy's pawing started to get faster and faster so Sapphire decided to go lay down and then Fluffy just cries and cries until I take him downstairs to see her.

Overall nothing super exciting although I can see minor progress. I just need to gain the courage to possibly try and let them get closer together, however I'm unsure if I'd be able to intervene at that point if things started to escalate.
"Nothing new to report!" - Ok

"Intros seem to be going pretty good and same as always." - Great

" Sapphire seems almost curious about Fluffy and almost possibly interested in play but not quite yet." - Perfect!! You are doing it!! :)

" She enjoys watching him from a little distance but seems to be acting fine." - Totally fine and great

" She hasn't snuck up on him again, however Fluffy hasn't been out for as long as the other two times." - Totally fine.

" I've been trying to minimize the treats as much as possible," - Great

" but eventually, Fluffy trying to go see her just becomes too difficult to distract from as he gets more excited.
" - Yes, so we'll have to let them interact soon. :/

"They also had a little pawing time at the gates tonight. " - Ok

"Sapphire came over and they were kind of sniffing noses and pawing at the same time. " - Awwwwwwwww

"Sapphire gave a few tiny hisses " - That is fine

"and Fluffy's pawing started to get faster and faster" - Yep :/

" so Sapphire decided to go lay down" - LOVE IT!!!!

" and then Fluffy just cries and cries until I take him downstairs to see her." - Awwwwwww, it is all play.

"Overall nothing super exciting although I can see minor progress." - Absolutely. They are pretty much there so the progress is miniscule.

" I just need to gain the courage to possibly try and let them get closer together," - ;)

" however I'm unsure if I'd be able to intervene at that point if things started to escalate." - That is where all the work, the base of trust and confidence they have kicks in. It is like a final exam. All the study and work goes in to prepare us. :)

It might look a bit wild, etc but I am really confident he loves her, she is tolerating him, and the escalation will be maybe noisy, active BUT I do believe they know where the line is and they will not cross it. Maybe next weekend will be a good time (another 8 days or so). If they are doing this well I expect they will do just fine then.

Keep up the great work!!! They are almost there!!! :)
 
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Graham18

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"Nothing new to report!" - Ok

"Intros seem to be going pretty good and same as always." - Great

" Sapphire seems almost curious about Fluffy and almost possibly interested in play but not quite yet." - Perfect!! You are doing it!! :)

" She enjoys watching him from a little distance but seems to be acting fine." - Totally fine and great

" She hasn't snuck up on him again, however Fluffy hasn't been out for as long as the other two times." - Totally fine.

" I've been trying to minimize the treats as much as possible," - Great

" but eventually, Fluffy trying to go see her just becomes too difficult to distract from as he gets more excited.
" - Yes, so we'll have to let them interact soon. :/

"They also had a little pawing time at the gates tonight. " - Ok

"Sapphire came over and they were kind of sniffing noses and pawing at the same time. " - Awwwwwwwww

"Sapphire gave a few tiny hisses " - That is fine

"and Fluffy's pawing started to get faster and faster" - Yep :/

" so Sapphire decided to go lay down" - LOVE IT!!!!

" and then Fluffy just cries and cries until I take him downstairs to see her." - Awwwwwww, it is all play.

"Overall nothing super exciting although I can see minor progress." - Absolutely. They are pretty much there so the progress is miniscule.

" I just need to gain the courage to possibly try and let them get closer together," - ;)

" however I'm unsure if I'd be able to intervene at that point if things started to escalate." - That is where all the work, the base of trust and confidence they have kicks in. It is like a final exam. All the study and work goes in to prepare us. :)

It might look a bit wild, etc but I am really confident he loves her, she is tolerating him, and the escalation will be maybe noisy, active BUT I do believe they know where the line is and they will not cross it. Maybe next weekend will be a good time (another 8 days or so). If they are doing this well I expect they will do just fine then.

Keep up the great work!!! They are almost there!!! :)
I will start preparing myself now for the interaction and I'm sure I will need some advice. Fluffy's biting is probably my biggest concern as he still bites sometimes when he's excited or frustrated and I usually have to give him a time out for a few minutes until he calms down.

I have nothing else really new to report at the moment. I gave them gate treats last night briefly and Sapphire was fine the first time and the second time she started to wildly hiss at him.

I was also much too tired to try and put Fluffy's harness on, so I just let them eat together without it and I brought the bowls closer so they were about 4 feet away and had no issues. Kept Fluffy distracted a bit before putting him to bed :)
 

calicosrspecial

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I will start preparing myself now for the interaction and I'm sure I will need some advice. Fluffy's biting is probably my biggest concern as he still bites sometimes when he's excited or frustrated and I usually have to give him a time out for a few minutes until he calms down.

I have nothing else really new to report at the moment. I gave them gate treats last night briefly and Sapphire was fine the first time and the second time she started to wildly hiss at him.

I was also much too tired to try and put Fluffy's harness on, so I just let them eat together without it and I brought the bowls closer so they were about 4 feet away and had no issues. Kept Fluffy distracted a bit before putting him to bed :)
"I will start preparing myself now for the interaction and I'm sure I will need some advice." - :) If they are doing well trust them.

" Fluffy's biting is probably my biggest concern as he still bites sometimes when he's excited or frustrated" - :/ Is he breaking the skin?

"and I usually have to give him a time out for a few minutes until he calms down." - Well, try not to take territory away from him. SO give him a "no" or a n "ouch". Something he knows is not good. Hopefully he then feels like he doesn;t want ot do anything negative t you and stops.

"I have nothing else really new to report at the moment. " - Ok

"I gave them gate treats last night briefly and Sapphire was fine the first time" - Great

" and the second time she started to wildly hiss at him." - Hmmmm, any idea why?

"I was also much too tired to try and put Fluffy's harness on, so I just let them eat together without it and I brought the bowls closer so they were about 4 feet away and had no issues. Kept Fluffy distracted a bit before putting him to bed :) " - Well, THAT is AMAZING!!!!

Sounds like you are almost there. :) The cats are doing GREAT!!!! :)
 
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"I will start preparing myself now for the interaction and I'm sure I will need some advice." - :) If they are doing well trust them.

" Fluffy's biting is probably my biggest concern as he still bites sometimes when he's excited or frustrated" - :/ Is he breaking the skin?

"and I usually have to give him a time out for a few minutes until he calms down." - Well, try not to take territory away from him. SO give him a "no" or a n "ouch". Something he knows is not good. Hopefully he then feels like he doesn;t want ot do anything negative t you and stops.

"I have nothing else really new to report at the moment. " - Ok

"I gave them gate treats last night briefly and Sapphire was fine the first time" - Great

" and the second time she started to wildly hiss at him." - Hmmmm, any idea why?

"I was also much too tired to try and put Fluffy's harness on, so I just let them eat together without it and I brought the bowls closer so they were about 4 feet away and had no issues. Kept Fluffy distracted a bit before putting him to bed :) " - Well, THAT is AMAZING!!!!

Sounds like you are almost there. :) The cats are doing GREAT!!!! :)
He doesn't break skin, he can just bite pretty hard sometimes but not enough to break skin or cause bleeding. I'll usually say no in a stern voice and sometimes though not all the time he'll stop.

As for Sapphires hissing, I'm not really sure why she does it sometimes and not others. It just seems to be random.
 

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He doesn't break skin, he can just bite pretty hard sometimes but not enough to break skin or cause bleeding. I'll usually say no in a stern voice and sometimes though not all the time he'll stop.

As for Sapphires hissing, I'm not really sure why she does it sometimes and not others. It just seems to be random.
"He doesn't break skin, he can just bite pretty hard sometimes but not enough to break skin or cause bleeding." - Ok. SO he knows where the line is and doesn't want to hurt you. Very good. Of course we don't want him doing it at all.

" I'll usually say no in a stern voice and sometimes though not all the time he'll stop." - Ok. Make sure the tone is sorrow, hurt, with some force, etc but not something to escalate. It is a bit of a fine balance BUT it sounds like you are doing it right.

"As for Sapphires hissing, I'm not really sure why she does it sometimes and not others. It just seems to be random." - Ok. It is fairly common. Might just be a warring to him. As long as it doesn't escalate that is the most important thing.

Keep up the great work!! You are almost there. :)
 
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"He doesn't break skin, he can just bite pretty hard sometimes but not enough to break skin or cause bleeding." - Ok. SO he knows where the line is and doesn't want to hurt you. Very good. Of course we don't want him doing it at all.

" I'll usually say no in a stern voice and sometimes though not all the time he'll stop." - Ok. Make sure the tone is sorrow, hurt, with some force, etc but not something to escalate. It is a bit of a fine balance BUT it sounds like you are doing it right.

"As for Sapphires hissing, I'm not really sure why she does it sometimes and not others. It just seems to be random." - Ok. It is fairly common. Might just be a warring to him. As long as it doesn't escalate that is the most important thing.

Keep up the great work!! You are almost there. :)
He does still bite pretty hard to where it hurts but doesn't break the skin. He is also pretty relentless which is why I sometimes have to leave the room to get him to calm down.

I'm definitely extremely nervous for the escalation. I know that if there wasn't a gate between them, Sapphire would most likely start to swat at him and he would in turn get excited and want to play with her and may start to try and get rough. I'm not really sure how I'll get around it when they interact.

On tonight's intro. I had Fluffy out for about 10 minutes with no harness. Fed them dinner and then used a new box to keep him occupied. He was even rolling around on the ground for a minute or two. He started to get excited when Sapphire came down from her cat tree (she went back up at one point). When she started to walk around the play pen to see him from another angle, that's when he really started to get excited and tried to go to her. I had to place my hand on his chest long enough to break his focus on her and get him to focus on a treat. Slowly getting better, but it's that excitement and knowing he is going to her to play that keeps me worried.
 
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calicosrspecial

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He does still bite pretty hard to where it hurts but doesn't break the skin. He is also pretty relentless which is why I sometimes have to leave the room to get him to calm down.

I'm definitely extremely nervous for the escalation. I know that if there wasn't a gate between them, Sapphire would most likely start to swat at him and he would in turn get excited and want to play with her and may start to try and get rough. I'm not really sure how I'll get around it when they interact.

On tonight's intro. I had Fluffy out for about 10 minutes with no harness. Fed them dinner and then used a new box to keep him occupied. He was even rolling around on the ground for a minute or two. He started to get excited when Sapphire came down from her cat tree (she went back up at one point). When she started to walk around the play pen to see him from another angle, that's when he really started to get excited and tried to go to her. I had to place my hand on his chest long enough to break his focus on her and get him to focus on a treat. Slowly getting better, but it's that excitement and knowing he is going to her to play that keeps me worried.
"He does still bite pretty hard to where it hurts but doesn't break the skin." - Ok.

"He is also pretty relentless which is why I sometimes have to leave the room to get him to calm down." - Yes, fine to leave the room to show him it is unacceptable.

"I'm definitely extremely nervous for the escalation." - Most people are. It is normal. Often this is the time where the cats actually give confidence to the humans. So watch the facts rather than the perceived fears and in time you will trust more. And watch how Sapphire trusts (maybe not fully yet but there is a lot of trust).

" I know that if there wasn't a gate between them, Sapphire would most likely start to swat at him and he would in turn get excited and want to play with her and may start to try and get rough." - Yes, probably and that is where all the work in building trust and confidence kicks in for Sapphire to handle it and deal with it.

"I'm not really sure how I'll get around it when they interact." - You will. You'll se them work it out and it will help you.

"On tonight's intro. I had Fluffy out for about 10 minutes with no harness. Fed them dinner and then used a new box to keep him occupied. He was even rolling around on the ground for a minute or two." - GREAT!!

" He started to get excited when Sapphire came down from her cat tree (she went back up at one point)." - Ok, understandable.

"When she started to walk around the play pen to see him from another angle, that's when he really started to get excited and tried to go to her." - Yes. That is actually how we want a toy to act. Looking around a corner, etc.

How did Sapphire react? Watch her body language to read what she thinks of it all.

" I had to place my hand on his chest long enough to break his focus on her and get him to focus on a treat. Slowly getting better," - Great

" but it's that excitement and knowing he is going to her to play that keeps me worried. " - Yes. BUT think about the intent. If his intent is to play what is the probability that she takes it as play rather than a threat? It is getting higher. And everyday without an attack, negativity builds trust. And more trust and confidence lessens the chance of something negative happening.

All is going great. I am not seeing (reading) anything to suggest any real problems. They may have a dustup but they might be just fine. We only really know until we see it (know). How they act after will tell us all. But at this point the only fear we have to fear is really fear itself.

So just keep watching them, doing what you are doing, and if the facts suggest things are going well then try to build off that and let them more interaction.

You are doing great, they are doing great. All will be fine. Keep up the great work.
 
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Graham18

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Nothing major to update. Typical ups and downs (more ups than downs).
Sunday night's intro went pretty well. At night I've completely stopped putting his harness on. They ate dinner together and then I had Fluffy chasing treats through the dining room and then after trying to go see Sapphire a few times, he went and laid down in the middle of the dining room and looked nice and relaxed. Sapphire was sitting by her cat tree and her tail was going crazy (maybe a bit playful). She then walked around the playpen and started to slowly inch towards Fluffy. He got excited and started to walk towards her but I was able to distract them both. Body language, from what I could tell, seemed fine and no hissing or growling from Sapphire.

Tonight, Fluffy was a little more mischievous after they had dinner. Sapphire didn't want to eat on the ground so she ate up on the cushions. After they were done eating and Fluffy was walking back from getting a treat, sapphire came down to the floor and Fluffy immediately tried to run at her which he hasn't done in awhile. I was sitting on the ground and stopped him before he could get to her. She looked a bit frightened and was kind of hunched over ready to run but she didn't. It was super fast so I wasn't able to catch a glimpse of his body language. I had Fluffy chasing another treat and Sapphire went behind the playpen (she likes to sit behind it and watch Fluffy through the mesh). I was sitting beside the playpen as he walked back over and he caught a glimpse of her as he got to me and tried to run at her again, failing as I caught him. She seemed frightened and ready to run again but didn't. After chasing another treat he came and laid down beside me on the ground for a little bit but started to get excited as Sapphire started to move further around the playpen. I didn't want to risk another attempted chase so I threw a treat into his room for him to get.

The whole chasing/pouncing/running thing is of course one of my biggest concerns when I will be letting them interact, so even though things ended well, it was a little disheartening for me.

A few small details. At least once when Fluffy was walking back to me tonight, his tail was sticking straight up in the air and he seemed happy. Another thing I noticed when I was upstairs in my room with Fluffy was that when he saw sapphire through the gate and got into his crouched down, pouncing position, his ears would go down, but to the sides, not backwards. I'm not really sure if that means anything.

As for Sapphire, both nights, as soon as Fluffy is away in his bedroom, she gets super hyper and starts running around upstairs.

Just some small things I've noticed.
 
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