Help/Advice for introductions

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
Thank you again :)
Yes she was already out at the base of her cat tree when he came out. She generally stayed in that area a few feet from her cat tree and a few feet from the stairs. She was definitely a bit unsure as he was moving around quite a bit between going for treats and then trying to go back to her :)

I may try again tonight as I'll have my partner to help but after today it'll be slow on updates until I return from my work trip.

I did bring him out this morning with the leash on. They are treats fine a foot or so from eachother. Sapphire did go up on her cat tree and I could tell Fluffy wanted to play with her really badly. He wanted to follow her and was kind of walking back and forth around the tree and at one point he did half jump up with just his front paws onto the lower level as if to try and get closer to her. Since then he's been very excited. Meowing non stop to come out of his room, so I put sapphire in her room and let him out and he's just sitting outside of her door meowing now haha.

I'm sorry for updating every little thing every single day. It's just helpful for me to get a response even to the smallest of things :)
Again thank you for your patience and for all of your help!
"Thank you again :) " - Oh my, THANK YOU!!!!!

"Yes she was already out at the base of her cat tree when he came out." - Wow!!! And she didn't go up on the cat tree? AMAZING!!!

"She generally stayed in that area a few feet from her cat tree and a few feet from the stairs." - Wow, GREAT!!! I am blown away. SHe trusts a lot more than I realized. Fantastic!!!

"She was definitely a bit unsure as he was moving around quite a bit between going for treats and then trying to go back to her :) " - OF COURSE but not THAT unsure. ;)

"I may try again tonight as I'll have my partner to help but after today it'll be slow on updates until I return from my work trip." - Ok. Remember, there are always ups and downs so not an issue. If they can do it once they can do it all the time. Try ot make sure he is a bit hungry, etc and do it again. Stay calm and confident, trust them, and do your best. It is not IF we will get them together but WHEN!!!! :)

"I did bring him out this morning with the leash on. They are treats fine a foot or so from eachother." - Perfect

" Sapphire did go up on her cat tree" - That is fine, not an issue at all. Height gives confidence and makes a postive encounter more likely.

"and I could tell Fluffy wanted to play with her really badly." - Poor guy. :/ But a good sign.

" He wanted to follow her and was kind of walking back and forth around the tree and at one point he did half jump up with just his front paws onto the lower level as if to try and get closer to her." - Awwwwwwwwww

"Since then he's been very excited." - Yes, he hs the taste of the social future and he likes it!!!

"Meowing non stop to come out of his room," - Can't blame him.

"so I put sapphire in her room and let him out and he's just sitting outside of her door meowing now haha." - Awwwwwwwwww :/ Poor guy, he loves her!!

"I'm sorry for updating every little thing every single day." - Oh my goodness, sorry???? NO REASON to be!!! This is very helpful that I know the situation, you are my eyes and ears so it is VERY helpful and important. Post ANYTIME you want!!! :)

" It's just helpful for me to get a response even to the smallest of things :) " - Even better!!

"Again thank you for your patience and for all of your help! " - Oh my goodness, THANK YOU for saving a life!! Giving cats a great home, a great life. THANK YOU!!! :clap2: :rock:
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #182

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
Final small update. Nothing exciting. Treats as normal last night. Sapphire wacked Fluffy across the face a few times but he did react. Same thing this morning when they got close for treats. He did raise his paw slightly this morning after she hit him the first time but backed down after she hit him the second time and ate his treat instead. She's still a bit scared as she backed up to her cat tree right away afterwards and then ran upstairs when I put Fluffy on the window perch.

If my partner gives any updates while I'm gone I will definitely post but I imagine they will be minimal :)
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
Final small update. Nothing exciting. Treats as normal last night. Sapphire wacked Fluffy across the face a few times but he did react. Same thing this morning when they got close for treats. He did raise his paw slightly this morning after she hit him the first time but backed down after she hit him the second time and ate his treat instead. She's still a bit scared as she backed up to her cat tree right away afterwards and then ran upstairs when I put Fluffy on the window perch.

If my partner gives any updates while I'm gone I will definitely post but I imagine they will be minimal :)
"Final small update. Nothing exciting." - Great

" Treats as normal last night." - Perfect

" Sapphire wacked Fluffy across the face a few times but he did react." - Mama teaching him manners!!! Hahahaha. He did react or didn't react?

"Same thing this morning when they got close for treats." - Ok as long as he respects it.

" He did raise his paw slightly this morning after she hit him the first time but backed down after she hit him the second time and ate his treat instead." - :yess: :hyper: :clap2: He respected her wishes!!! FANTASTIC!!

"She's still a bit scared as she backed up to her cat tree right away afterwards and then ran upstairs when I put Fluffy on the window perch." - Ok, that is fine. BUT as long as he didn't go after her, fight, etc her she will learn her fears are not warranted.

"If my partner gives any updates while I'm gone I will definitely post but I imagine they will be minimal :) " - Sounds good. Travel safely!!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #184

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
While I was gone I was told it was same as always with little to no issues.
I was told that this morning he had breakfast, Fluffy did try and lunge at Sapphire again and there was some hitting and hissing back and forth from both cats to eachother but I wasn't there to witness it so I'm not exactly sure how it happened.
Now that I'm home I can go back to regular introductions.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #185

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
While I was gone I was told it was same as always with little to no issues.
I was told that this morning he had breakfast, Fluffy did try and lunge at Sapphire again and there was some hitting and hissing back and forth from both cats to eachother but I wasn't there to witness it so I'm not exactly sure how it happened.
Now that I'm home I can go back to regular introductions.
I did get a little more information on the incident today. Fluffy was being brought upstairs into the bedroom and my partner put him down at which point Sapphire came over and he jumped/pawed at her (no treats were present). She was hissing and swatting at him and he was hissing and swatting back, but Sapphire didn't run away. It was broken up quickly and Fluffy was put into the bedroom and then Sapphire given love and treats.
I decided to only give them treats at the gate tonight. Sapphire was very tired when I got home this afternoon from my trip and didn't even come downstairs for a few hours. I noticed her hissing at Fluffy every time she would walk by him. I did give them treats tonight at the gates downstairs but it took some coaxing to get Sapphire to even come over and when she did she would run away to her cat tree immediately afterwards. She did have an episode of twitching and excessive grooming briefly at which point she also swatted at me and gave me a very very small cut on my face but she was fine after. I also noticed she ran upstairs to her room at the sound of me taking the top baby gate down to give Fluffy his food but as soon as he was behind a closed door for the night she was very playful.
I will see how she is acting tomorrow to determine whether to bring Fluffy out on his harness or not.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
While I was gone I was told it was same as always with little to no issues.
I was told that this morning he had breakfast, Fluffy did try and lunge at Sapphire again and there was some hitting and hissing back and forth from both cats to eachother but I wasn't there to witness it so I'm not exactly sure how it happened.
Now that I'm home I can go back to regular introductions.
Welcome back!!

"While I was gone I was told it was same as always with little to no issues." - Great

"I was told that this morning he had breakfast, Fluffy did try and lunge at Sapphire again and there was some hitting and hissing back and forth from both cats to eachother but I wasn't there to witness it so I'm not exactly sure how it happened." - Ok, it happens.

"Now that I'm home I can go back to regular introductions. " - Great

"I did get a little more information on the incident today." - Ok

" Fluffy was being brought upstairs into the bedroom and my partner put him down at which point Sapphire came over" - Interesting she came over.

" and he jumped/pawed at her (no treats were present)." - OK, I wish I saw it.

" She was hissing and swatting at him and he was hissing and swatting back," - Ok

" but Sapphire didn't run away." - GREAT!!!!

" It was broken up quickly" - Ok, great. Doesn't sound like an issue. And if they rebounded quickly they are telling us it is not an issue.

"and Fluffy was put into the bedroom and then Sapphire given love and treats." - Great. Did they act "normal" shortly thereafter?

"I decided to only give them treats at the gate tonight." - Ok

" Sapphire was very tired when I got home this afternoon from my trip and didn't even come downstairs for a few hours." - Ok

" I noticed her hissing at Fluffy every time she would walk by him." - That is fine, not an issue as long as it didn't escalate (he respected her communication).

" I did give them treats tonight at the gates downstairs but it took some coaxing to get Sapphire to even come over and when she did she would run away to her cat tree immediately afterwards. " - Ok, so she might have been a little unsettled by the pawing/batting incident).

"She did have an episode of twitching and excessive grooming briefly at which point she also swatted at me and gave me a very very small cut on my face" - Oh my, just be careful. I hope it wasn't bad.

" but she was fine after." - Ok, good.

" I also noticed she ran upstairs to her room at the sound of me taking the top baby gate down to give Fluffy his food" - Ok, so she is a bit skittish though I am not totally sure why. AND it is great her fears were not realized (with him chasing her, swatting her, etc).

" but as soon as he was behind a closed door for the night she was very playful." - GREAT!!!

"I will see how she is acting tomorrow to determine whether to bring Fluffy out on his harness or not. " - Ok, sounds good.

So it sounds like she did well but was a little rattled by it (though I am not sure why really). Just tells me they aren't 100% yet (which we knew) so we have a little more work/time to it. BUT the fact nothing really happened and nothing bad happened after will give her trust and confidence.

Keep making positive associations (feeding) and positive encounters and build confidence (play).

This sounds like a minor blip which is not unexpected and we'll get over it quickly.

Keep up the great work!!!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #187

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
Welcome back!!

"While I was gone I was told it was same as always with little to no issues." - Great

"I was told that this morning he had breakfast, Fluffy did try and lunge at Sapphire again and there was some hitting and hissing back and forth from both cats to eachother but I wasn't there to witness it so I'm not exactly sure how it happened." - Ok, it happens.

"Now that I'm home I can go back to regular introductions. " - Great

"I did get a little more information on the incident today." - Ok

" Fluffy was being brought upstairs into the bedroom and my partner put him down at which point Sapphire came over" - Interesting she came over.

" and he jumped/pawed at her (no treats were present)." - OK, I wish I saw it.

" She was hissing and swatting at him and he was hissing and swatting back," - Ok

" but Sapphire didn't run away." - GREAT!!!!

" It was broken up quickly" - Ok, great. Doesn't sound like an issue. And if they rebounded quickly they are telling us it is not an issue.

"and Fluffy was put into the bedroom and then Sapphire given love and treats." - Great. Did they act "normal" shortly thereafter?

"I decided to only give them treats at the gate tonight." - Ok

" Sapphire was very tired when I got home this afternoon from my trip and didn't even come downstairs for a few hours." - Ok

" I noticed her hissing at Fluffy every time she would walk by him." - That is fine, not an issue as long as it didn't escalate (he respected her communication).

" I did give them treats tonight at the gates downstairs but it took some coaxing to get Sapphire to even come over and when she did she would run away to her cat tree immediately afterwards. " - Ok, so she might have been a little unsettled by the pawing/batting incident).

"She did have an episode of twitching and excessive grooming briefly at which point she also swatted at me and gave me a very very small cut on my face" - Oh my, just be careful. I hope it wasn't bad.

" but she was fine after." - Ok, good.

" I also noticed she ran upstairs to her room at the sound of me taking the top baby gate down to give Fluffy his food" - Ok, so she is a bit skittish though I am not totally sure why. AND it is great her fears were not realized (with him chasing her, swatting her, etc).

" but as soon as he was behind a closed door for the night she was very playful." - GREAT!!!

"I will see how she is acting tomorrow to determine whether to bring Fluffy out on his harness or not. " - Ok, sounds good.

So it sounds like she did well but was a little rattled by it (though I am not sure why really). Just tells me they aren't 100% yet (which we knew) so we have a little more work/time to it. BUT the fact nothing really happened and nothing bad happened after will give her trust and confidence.

Keep making positive associations (feeding) and positive encounters and build confidence (play).

This sounds like a minor blip which is not unexpected and we'll get over it quickly.

Keep up the great work!!!
She was definitely still skittish this morning. When I took the baby gate down to give Fluffy his food she took off upstairs again. I brought Fluffy out to look at the birds with his harness on and eventually she did come back downstairs but I could tell she was a bit tense. She went to go up on her cat tree and Fluffy jumped down to try and see her and she just sat on the middle level staring at him not even going up to the top.
I brought him down to the floor and did manage to give them treats together although he really wanted to go to her, he was more interested in the treats. After a few treats and some very loud hissing sapphire ran upstairs again and I distracted Fluffy with another treat. I did bring him upstairs and gave them treats in the hallway between the two rooms and I did have to keep throwing treats for Fluffy away from Sapphire as he REALLY wanted to go closer to her (most likely resulting in a lunge and more battling/hissing/swatting).
I decided to go buy them some new toys afterwards mainly to try and find something Sapphire will like and try and find things that Fluffy will play with on his own to try and keep him enriched during the day. He hasn't been playing on his own much and I've been struggling more and more to him to play with me as he only seems to want to go to Sapphire.

I'm wondering if by not allowing them to interact more, if that is making Fluffy just want to play with her even more or if its causing Sapphire to not hold her ground and take charge more. Probably me over thinking the situation which I do all the time.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
She was definitely still skittish this morning. When I took the baby gate down to give Fluffy his food she took off upstairs again. I brought Fluffy out to look at the birds with his harness on and eventually she did come back downstairs but I could tell she was a bit tense. She went to go up on her cat tree and Fluffy jumped down to try and see her and she just sat on the middle level staring at him not even going up to the top.
I brought him down to the floor and did manage to give them treats together although he really wanted to go to her, he was more interested in the treats. After a few treats and some very loud hissing sapphire ran upstairs again and I distracted Fluffy with another treat. I did bring him upstairs and gave them treats in the hallway between the two rooms and I did have to keep throwing treats for Fluffy away from Sapphire as he REALLY wanted to go closer to her (most likely resulting in a lunge and more battling/hissing/swatting).
I decided to go buy them some new toys afterwards mainly to try and find something Sapphire will like and try and find things that Fluffy will play with on his own to try and keep him enriched during the day. He hasn't been playing on his own much and I've been struggling more and more to him to play with me as he only seems to want to go to Sapphire.

I'm wondering if by not allowing them to interact more, if that is making Fluffy just want to play with her even more or if its causing Sapphire to not hold her ground and take charge more. Probably me over thinking the situation which I do all the time.
"She was definitely still skittish this morning." - Ok, I got that sense. It is ok, not a big deal.

" When I took the baby gate down to give Fluffy his food she took off upstairs again." - Ok BUT as long as he didn't pursue and any fears were realized it will give her trust.

" I brought Fluffy out to look at the birds with his harness on and eventually she did come back downstairs" - OK, GREAT!!! That is exactly what I mean. SHe realized "I ran away but nothing happened, maybe I should go back down there".

" but I could tell she was a bit tense." - Yes, that is ok and not unexpected.

" She went to go up on her cat tree and Fluffy jumped down to try and see her and she just sat on the middle level staring at him not even going up to the top." - Ok, that doesn't sound bad. She didn't run upstairs, etc.

"I brought him down to the floor and did manage to give them treats together" - Great

" although he really wanted to go to her, he was more interested in the treats." - Great. That tells me he jsut wants to play with her.

" After a few treats" - Ok. Body language was good?

" and some very loud hissing sapphire ran upstairs again" - ok

" and I distracted Fluffy with another treat." - Great

" I did bring him upstairs and gave them treats in the hallway between the two rooms " - Great. How was she acting?

"and I did have to keep throwing treats for Fluffy away from Sapphire as he REALLY wanted to go closer to her (most likely resulting in a lunge and more battling/hissing/swatting)." - Ok but he chose treats over going for her.

"I decided to go buy them some new toys afterwards mainly to try and find something Sapphire will like and try and find things that Fluffy will play with on his own to try and keep him enriched during the day. " - Ok. It is really how the toy acts. Make sure it acts like prey. Those mouse or bird or rabbit movements.

"He hasn't been playing on his own much" - Yes, it is hard for them.

"and I've been struggling more and more to him to play with me as he only seems to want to go to Sapphire." - Ok. Yes, often another cat is much more fun. :/

"I'm wondering if by not allowing them to interact more, if that is making Fluffy just want to play with her even more" - I think that is absolutely possible. There is no question in my mind he so wants to play with her. I am just not sure if she is ready and that is a challenge. :/

" or if its causing Sapphire to not hold her ground and take charge more." - Hmmmmmm, I am not sure about that.

" Probably me over thinking the situation which I do all the time. " No, I don't think you are overthinking it at all. All was going really well even during that interaction where she did hold her ground. BUT her skittishness after is a bit disappointing (though not surprising). I would have thought she wouldn't have been as skittish given she did hold her ground in the swatting/batting incident AND she ate treats after it.

So either I am missing something or it is still just a bit early (I think the later). I would like to do more with her on her tree and him doing "his thing" on the ground or looking out at the birds etc. If we can get her to observe him with him focused on anything other than her that would be great. We just need to show her that he is not a threat, a worry. And she is there most of the time but just not yet there fully. BUT we will get there.

I do think that you being gone (change in routine) might have been a bit of the issue. We'll know more in the next week. I suspect she will bounce back fine.

Hang in there. Just keep doing what you are doing, maybe try to have her on the tree and him doing his thing on the ground, etc. And let's see how she does. I think she is going to be just fine. Her skittishness is not being realized so she will build back that trust and confidence.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #189

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
"She was definitely still skittish this morning." - Ok, I got that sense. It is ok, not a big deal.

" When I took the baby gate down to give Fluffy his food she took off upstairs again." - Ok BUT as long as he didn't pursue and any fears were realized it will give her trust.

" I brought Fluffy out to look at the birds with his harness on and eventually she did come back downstairs" - OK, GREAT!!! That is exactly what I mean. SHe realized "I ran away but nothing happened, maybe I should go back down there".

" but I could tell she was a bit tense." - Yes, that is ok and not unexpected.

" She went to go up on her cat tree and Fluffy jumped down to try and see her and she just sat on the middle level staring at him not even going up to the top." - Ok, that doesn't sound bad. She didn't run upstairs, etc.

"I brought him down to the floor and did manage to give them treats together" - Great

" although he really wanted to go to her, he was more interested in the treats." - Great. That tells me he jsut wants to play with her.

" After a few treats" - Ok. Body language was good?

" and some very loud hissing sapphire ran upstairs again" - ok

" and I distracted Fluffy with another treat." - Great

" I did bring him upstairs and gave them treats in the hallway between the two rooms " - Great. How was she acting?

"and I did have to keep throwing treats for Fluffy away from Sapphire as he REALLY wanted to go closer to her (most likely resulting in a lunge and more battling/hissing/swatting)." - Ok but he chose treats over going for her.

"I decided to go buy them some new toys afterwards mainly to try and find something Sapphire will like and try and find things that Fluffy will play with on his own to try and keep him enriched during the day. " - Ok. It is really how the toy acts. Make sure it acts like prey. Those mouse or bird or rabbit movements.

"He hasn't been playing on his own much" - Yes, it is hard for them.

"and I've been struggling more and more to him to play with me as he only seems to want to go to Sapphire." - Ok. Yes, often another cat is much more fun. :/

"I'm wondering if by not allowing them to interact more, if that is making Fluffy just want to play with her even more" - I think that is absolutely possible. There is no question in my mind he so wants to play with her. I am just not sure if she is ready and that is a challenge. :/

" or if its causing Sapphire to not hold her ground and take charge more." - Hmmmmmm, I am not sure about that.

" Probably me over thinking the situation which I do all the time. " No, I don't think you are overthinking it at all. All was going really well even during that interaction where she did hold her ground. BUT her skittishness after is a bit disappointing (though not surprising). I would have thought she wouldn't have been as skittish given she did hold her ground in the swatting/batting incident AND she ate treats after it.

So either I am missing something or it is still just a bit early (I think the later). I would like to do more with her on her tree and him doing "his thing" on the ground or looking out at the birds etc. If we can get her to observe him with him focused on anything other than her that would be great. We just need to show her that he is not a threat, a worry. And she is there most of the time but just not yet there fully. BUT we will get there.

I do think that you being gone (change in routine) might have been a bit of the issue. We'll know more in the next week. I suspect she will bounce back fine.

Hang in there. Just keep doing what you are doing, maybe try to have her on the tree and him doing his thing on the ground, etc. And let's see how she does. I think she is going to be just fine. Her skittishness is not being realized so she will build back that trust and confidence.
I definitely do think that me being gone had some effect so I'm not overly concerned about her bouncing back. She usually does, this time it just seems to be taking a bit longer. Of course I wasn't there to see the tussle they got into but I'm going to assume it was similar to the video I posted a few posts back only he did manage to get to her so it escalated slightly. I'm trying not to view it as a bad thing, but rather a small step back, but at the same time I'm also trying to view it in part as them slowly working things out between them too.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
I definitely do think that me being gone had some effect so I'm not overly concerned about her bouncing back. She usually does, this time it just seems to be taking a bit longer. Of course I wasn't there to see the tussle they got into but I'm going to assume it was similar to the video I posted a few posts back only he did manage to get to her so it escalated slightly. I'm trying not to view it as a bad thing, but rather a small step back, but at the same time I'm also trying to view it in part as them slowly working things out between them too.
"I definitely do think that me being gone had some effect" - Yes, happens all the time.

" so I'm not overly concerned about her bouncing back." - Great. I agree, you do not have ot be concerned.

" She usually does," - Ok, that is normal.

" this time it just seems to be taking a bit longer." - Ok, it happens.

" Of course I wasn't there to see the tussle they got into but I'm going to assume it was similar to the video I posted a few posts back" - Ok

" only he did manage to get to her so it escalated slightly." - Yes, that might have surprised her a bit more. And might be the reason she is a little more cautious.

"I'm trying not to view it as a bad thing, but rather a small step back, " - Agreed. It is a blip at worst. There are always blips in intros. This one was extremely minor (therefore calling it a blip).

"but at the same time I'm also trying to view it in part as them slowly working things out between them too." - Agreed. They are learning about each other, finding the balance, etc. Very good point!!

I am not at all worried, they are going to be fine. Just keep up the great work.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #191

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
"I definitely do think that me being gone had some effect" - Yes, happens all the time.

" so I'm not overly concerned about her bouncing back." - Great. I agree, you do not have ot be concerned.

" She usually does," - Ok, that is normal.

" this time it just seems to be taking a bit longer." - Ok, it happens.

" Of course I wasn't there to see the tussle they got into but I'm going to assume it was similar to the video I posted a few posts back" - Ok

" only he did manage to get to her so it escalated slightly." - Yes, that might have surprised her a bit more. And might be the reason she is a little more cautious.

"I'm trying not to view it as a bad thing, but rather a small step back, " - Agreed. It is a blip at worst. There are always blips in intros. This one was extremely minor (therefore calling it a blip).

"but at the same time I'm also trying to view it in part as them slowly working things out between them too." - Agreed. They are learning about each other, finding the balance, etc. Very good point!!

I am not at all worried, they are going to be fine. Just keep up the great work.
She's already starting to return to normal :)

I put Fluffy back in my room after his time in the full house and let Sapphire out of her room. Fluffy got excited and was pacing the gate (almost seemed to be stalking a bit but more likely getting ready to play/pounce).

I went back downstairs and then heard the gate shaking a bit. Went upstairs and Sapphire was sitting there looking proud of herself (she probably wacked him through the gate). She then just went and sat by the gate completely ignoring his paw sticking through for about a minute before walking off. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
She's already starting to return to normal :)

I put Fluffy back in my room after his time in the full house and let Sapphire out of her room. Fluffy got excited and was pacing the gate (almost seemed to be stalking a bit but more likely getting ready to play/pounce).

I went back downstairs and then heard the gate shaking a bit. Went upstairs and Sapphire was sitting there looking proud of herself (she probably wacked him through the gate). She then just went and sat by the gate completely ignoring his paw sticking through for about a minute before walking off. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it.
"She's already starting to return to normal :)" - Great

"I put Fluffy back in my room after his time in the full house and let Sapphire out of her room." - Great

" Fluffy got excited and was pacing the gate (almost seemed to be stalking a bit but more likely getting ready to play/pounce)." - Awwwwwwwwwww

"I went back downstairs and then heard the gate shaking a bit. Went upstairs and Sapphire was sitting there looking proud of herself (she probably wacked him through the gate). " - Awwwwwww, teaching manners.

"She then just went and sat by the gate completely ignoring his paw sticking through for about a minute before walking off." - Awwwwww, yep, they are going to be just fine!! :)

"I wish I could have gotten a picture of it. " - ME TOO!!! :)
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #193

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
"She's already starting to return to normal :)" - Great

"I put Fluffy back in my room after his time in the full house and let Sapphire out of her room." - Great

" Fluffy got excited and was pacing the gate (almost seemed to be stalking a bit but more likely getting ready to play/pounce)." - Awwwwwwwwwww

"I went back downstairs and then heard the gate shaking a bit. Went upstairs and Sapphire was sitting there looking proud of herself (she probably wacked him through the gate). " - Awwwwwww, teaching manners.

"She then just went and sat by the gate completely ignoring his paw sticking through for about a minute before walking off." - Awwwwww, yep, they are going to be just fine!! :)

"I wish I could have gotten a picture of it. " - ME TOO!!! :)
Yup definitely back to normal. I let her stay up on her cat tree this morning and last night while Fluffy stayed on the ground both having treats. This morning she did actually come down and kept her distance. Every time Fluffy would start to try and walk towards her I would distract him the other way with treats.

I had a bit of a scare last night (for me not the cats). As I was bringing Fluffy back to his room as Sapphire had taken off upstairs after treats, she came back downstairs. I decided to try and play with Fluffy on his harness with Da Bird. As I was playing with him, she started to run towards the toy as well catching me off guard. I panicked slightly and grabbed treats to keep Fluffy and her distracted and after a bit she took off upstairs again.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
Yup definitely back to normal. I let her stay up on her cat tree this morning and last night while Fluffy stayed on the ground both having treats. This morning she did actually come down and kept her distance. Every time Fluffy would start to try and walk towards her I would distract him the other way with treats.

I had a bit of a scare last night (for me not the cats). As I was bringing Fluffy back to his room as Sapphire had taken off upstairs after treats, she came back downstairs. I decided to try and play with Fluffy on his harness with Da Bird. As I was playing with him, she started to run towards the toy as well catching me off guard. I panicked slightly and grabbed treats to keep Fluffy and her distracted and after a bit she took off upstairs again.
"Yup definitely back to normal." - Great

" I let her stay up on her cat tree this morning and last night while Fluffy stayed on the ground both having treats." - Perfect

" This morning she did actually come down and kept her distance." - GREAT!!!

" Every time Fluffy would start to try and walk towards her I would distract him the other way with treats." - Terrific, well done.

I had a bit of a scare last night (for me not the cats)." - Oh my

" As I was bringing Fluffy back to his room as Sapphire had taken off upstairs after treats, she came back downstairs." - That is great she came back down.

" I decided to try and play with Fluffy on his harness with Da Bird." - Great

" As I was playing with him, she started to run towards the toy as well catching me off guard." - WOW, THAT is a great sign!!!

" I panicked slightly" - Understandable but bummer. :/

" and grabbed treats to keep Fluffy and her distracted" - Ok

" and after a bit she took off upstairs again. " - Bummer.

Well, that is a great sign though. One of these days maybe they will paly together. :)
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #195

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
"Yup definitely back to normal." - Great

" I let her stay up on her cat tree this morning and last night while Fluffy stayed on the ground both having treats." - Perfect

" This morning she did actually come down and kept her distance." - GREAT!!!

" Every time Fluffy would start to try and walk towards her I would distract him the other way with treats." - Terrific, well done.

I had a bit of a scare last night (for me not the cats)." - Oh my

" As I was bringing Fluffy back to his room as Sapphire had taken off upstairs after treats, she came back downstairs." - That is great she came back down.

" I decided to try and play with Fluffy on his harness with Da Bird." - Great

" As I was playing with him, she started to run towards the toy as well catching me off guard." - WOW, THAT is a great sign!!!

" I panicked slightly" - Understandable but bummer. :/

" and grabbed treats to keep Fluffy and her distracted" - Ok

" and after a bit she took off upstairs again. " - Bummer.

Well, that is a great sign though. One of these days maybe they will paly together. :)
I hope they will play together one day. Or at the very least live together without fighting all the time. It does get stressful and demoralizing at times juggling every minute of free time I have with one cat or the other.

Nothing new to add from today. They had a pawing battle through the gate and it got Fluffy all worked up and huffing and puffing and pacing back and forth when Sapphire walked away. I tried to get a video but I wasn't fast enough. Treats went the same as they have been. Fluffy really wanting to get close to Sapphire but for the most part distractable with treats.

I always have trouble dissecting Fluffy's body language. He seemed to be really going at it when they were pawing through the gate and I'm having trouble figuring out if there's any aggression or if he is just getting frustrated and/or just really getting into it thinking it's play. I've never had cats before so I really have trouble figuring those types of things out.
 

rubysmama

Forum Helper
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Nov 25, 2013
Messages
19,002
Purraise
41,922
Location
Canada
I've never had cats before so I really have trouble figuring those types of things out.
I grew up with cats, but only one at a time, so I have no experience with the interactions between 2 cats living in the same home. I do still wonder if it's not time to just let them out together and see if after an initial lunge by Fluffy and a return hiss from Sapphire, if things don't settle down between them. Eventually they're going to have to learn to live together, as you can't keep doing this forever.

The fight they got into way back in May, was there fur flying, or blood? Or just swatting / hissing?
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
I hope they will play together one day. Or at the very least live together without fighting all the time. It does get stressful and demoralizing at times juggling every minute of free time I have with one cat or the other.

Nothing new to add from today. They had a pawing battle through the gate and it got Fluffy all worked up and huffing and puffing and pacing back and forth when Sapphire walked away. I tried to get a video but I wasn't fast enough. Treats went the same as they have been. Fluffy really wanting to get close to Sapphire but for the most part distractable with treats.

I always have trouble dissecting Fluffy's body language. He seemed to be really going at it when they were pawing through the gate and I'm having trouble figuring out if there's any aggression or if he is just getting frustrated and/or just really getting into it thinking it's play. I've never had cats before so I really have trouble figuring those types of things out.
"I hope they will play together one day." - I hope so as well. We never know until we know but I suspect they will.

"Or at the very least live together without fighting all the time." - I am highly confident that will happen. I think they are going to live a great life together.

" It does get stressful and demoralizing at times juggling every minute of free time I have with one cat or the other." - Yes, it is VERY hard BUT it is well worth it when they are intro'd. Just try to keep everything in perspective and try not to focus too much. Make sure you find that balance that is needed.

"Nothing new to add from today." - Ok

" They had a pawing battle through the gate and it got Fluffy all worked up and huffing and puffing and pacing back and forth when Sapphire walked away." - Hmmmmm, ok. Did you get a sense it was negative? Gates are positive but can be a bit negative or a challenge at times. We want to try our best to keep it as positive as possible at the gate. It is hard though at times, :/

" I tried to get a video but I wasn't fast enough." - It does happen quickly. That is ok.

" Treats went the same as they have been. " - Ok, good.

"Fluffy really wanting to get close to Sapphire" - Yes, in a good way, correct?

" but for the most part distractable with treats." - THAT is great.

"I always have trouble dissecting Fluffy's body language." - OK, usually it is pretty obvious if it is bad. AND then after it they act different than "normal". So it is more the story than a snapshot that tells us what it is like.

"He seemed to be really going at it when they were pawing through the gate" - OK. :/ Well, if it is pretty fast, hard then it is a bit negative. We'll want to try to keep them (if possible) from doing that. So if you can have her down with you or somehow get her focused on something else that might help. And if you see it redirect it, reassure, etc. The fact they are doing well after tells me if it is negative it is pretty minor so I am not all that worried and I expect them to be together fairly soon.

" and I'm having trouble figuring out if there's any aggression or if he is just getting frustrated and/or just really getting into it thinking it's play." _ Yes, this is really tough. If it is fast and hard then it is a bit "more" BUT how they act after and when together tells us how severe it was. The fact they are doing well at treat time, etc tells me it is more defensive, frustrated, etc then something bad.

"I've never had cats before so I really have trouble figuring those types of things out." - That is ok, that is why we are here. Hopefully the above helps a little. I would like to try to limit those encounters IF possible but it is tough. Just do your best. The main work is feeding, playing, etc especially when near each other.

But I am not worried. They seem to be doing fine. I would like to keep moving forward on the actions in the room together using a toy or treats for him with her watching.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #198

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
"I hope they will play together one day." - I hope so as well. We never know until we know but I suspect they will.

"Or at the very least live together without fighting all the time." - I am highly confident that will happen. I think they are going to live a great life together.

" It does get stressful and demoralizing at times juggling every minute of free time I have with one cat or the other." - Yes, it is VERY hard BUT it is well worth it when they are intro'd. Just try to keep everything in perspective and try not to focus too much. Make sure you find that balance that is needed.

"Nothing new to add from today." - Ok

" They had a pawing battle through the gate and it got Fluffy all worked up and huffing and puffing and pacing back and forth when Sapphire walked away." - Hmmmmm, ok. Did you get a sense it was negative? Gates are positive but can be a bit negative or a challenge at times. We want to try our best to keep it as positive as possible at the gate. It is hard though at times, :/

" I tried to get a video but I wasn't fast enough." - It does happen quickly. That is ok.

" Treats went the same as they have been. " - Ok, good.

"Fluffy really wanting to get close to Sapphire" - Yes, in a good way, correct?

" but for the most part distractable with treats." - THAT is great.

"I always have trouble dissecting Fluffy's body language." - OK, usually it is pretty obvious if it is bad. AND then after it they act different than "normal". So it is more the story than a snapshot that tells us what it is like.

"He seemed to be really going at it when they were pawing through the gate" - OK. :/ Well, if it is pretty fast, hard then it is a bit negative. We'll want to try to keep them (if possible) from doing that. So if you can have her down with you or somehow get her focused on something else that might help. And if you see it redirect it, reassure, etc. The fact they are doing well after tells me if it is negative it is pretty minor so I am not all that worried and I expect them to be together fairly soon.

" and I'm having trouble figuring out if there's any aggression or if he is just getting frustrated and/or just really getting into it thinking it's play." _ Yes, this is really tough. If it is fast and hard then it is a bit "more" BUT how they act after and when together tells us how severe it was. The fact they are doing well at treat time, etc tells me it is more defensive, frustrated, etc then something bad.

"I've never had cats before so I really have trouble figuring those types of things out." - That is ok, that is why we are here. Hopefully the above helps a little. I would like to try to limit those encounters IF possible but it is tough. Just do your best. The main work is feeding, playing, etc especially when near each other.

But I am not worried. They seem to be doing fine. I would like to keep moving forward on the actions in the room together using a toy or treats for him with her watching.
I don't think it is really negative but also I'm really not entirely sure what to look for. She came over and they were actually sniffing eachother through the gate. Usually what happens is he reaches through to try and poke her with his paw and she in turns wacks him. I'm then getting the sense that he thinks she's playing with him and gets a bit excited which leads to the batting back and forth until Sapphire is sick of it and walks away at which point I think Fluffy may be a bit frustrated that she left.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #199

Graham18

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
186
Purraise
142
I grew up with cats, but only one at a time, so I have no experience with the interactions between 2 cats living in the same home. I do still wonder if it's not time to just let them out together and see if after an initial lunge by Fluffy and a return hiss from Sapphire, if things don't settle down between them. Eventually they're going to have to learn to live together, as you can't keep doing this forever.

The fight they got into way back in May, was there fur flying, or blood? Or just swatting / hissing?
Sorry for the late response. There was no fur flying or bleeding from what I recall. There was a lot of rolling and shrieking before Sapphire managed to get away and Fluffy was hissing/arched back/puffed up tail.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
3,794
Purraise
2,215
I don't think it is really negative but also I'm really not entirely sure what to look for. She came over and they were actually sniffing eachother through the gate. Usually what happens is he reaches through to try and poke her with his paw and she in turns wacks him. I'm then getting the sense that he thinks she's playing with him and gets a bit excited which leads to the batting back and forth until Sapphire is sick of it and walks away at which point I think Fluffy may be a bit frustrated that she left.
"I don't think it is really negative but also I'm really not entirely sure what to look for." - Ok

" She came over and they were actually sniffing eachother through the gate." - Ok, good. SO far so good. Usually what happens is they smell a touch then get a bit wild.

"Usually what happens is he reaches through to try and poke her with his paw" - Ok, fairly slowly? Not rapidly?

" and she in turns wacks him." - Yep, teaching manners.

" I'm then getting the sense that he thinks she's playing with him and gets a bit excited which leads to the batting back and forth until " Makes sense with the added info.

"Sapphire is sick of it and walks away" - OK, this is great. IF she is walking away that is a good sign.

" at which point I think Fluffy may be a bit frustrated that she left." - Makes sense.

Well that is even better than I thought. It is also supported by how they act when together for treat time, etc.
 
Top