Hello From Gracie And Her (anxious) New Human!

GraciesParent

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Hi everyone!

Gracie (pictured in my avatar) is four years old, and was adopted a few days ago. She's settled in nicely -- she's affectionate and cuddly, and seems quite relaxed. She loves being brushed, which is good considering her ample fur!

I, however, am a nervous wreck. Though my family has had cats over the years, Gracie is *my* first cat, and I'm experiencing what I understand is pretty typical post-adoption panic/dread. That "OMG, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!" feeling, as though I've voluntarily upended my life, and it's been a bit overwhelming. (I understand this will pass... right?)

I have some questions that I'll post in their proper forum sections, but wanted to stop here to introduce myself -- well, OURselves -- first. :-)
 

verna davies

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Hi Graciesparent and Gracie. Welcome to the site. Gracie is a really pretty cat and fabulous coat. Hope you enjoy looking around the site, there is a wealth of information here.
 

Mamanyt1953

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Welcome to you and that gorgeous Gracie! You came to the right place to get questions answered, and...you are far from the first person to feel the way you do right now! Actually, we like that. It means that you are aware of your responsibilities as a cat guardian! You'll be fine, and she will be a happy, contented girl.


 
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GraciesParent

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Thanks so much, everyone! Looking forward to browsing, posting and getting to know the TAS community! (Gracie also thanks you for your patience training her new human.)
 

rubysmama

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Hello and welcome to TCS. :wave2: Congrats on your adoption of the beautiful Gracie. :catlove:And, becoming a first time Cat Parent. :petcat:

I too grew up with cats, but being a cat's sibling doesn't quite prepare you for being a cat's parent. I found that out 5 years ago when I adopted my Ruby. It does get easier, and it's great that you've found this site, as pretty much any question you might have, I'm pretty sure someone will be able to help you with.

You may have already read them, but here's a couple TCS articles for first time cat owners/parents:
First-time Cat Owner's Guide
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home
 
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GraciesParent

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Thanks, rubysmama! And I just realized that my anxiety-induced sleep deprivation (haven't really slept since the adoption) resulted in me calling TCS "TAS." Oh my. :confused:

Which forum here would be the best for posting "please help me not be so panicked about this new addition..."-type questions?

And how long does the new-pet-parent anxiety/panic typically last? (Note that I'm an anxious person by default, so tack on extra time accordingly. ;))
 

tabbytom

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GraciesParents and Gracie, on behalf of The Catsite community, a warm
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to both of you.

So glad that you’ve joined this site and you are in the right place for all things cat and this site is loaded with tons of rich resources and you’ll find friendly and helpful cats around and many of our cats are very knowledgeable in cat related stuffs.

New Here? I Have A Few Suggestions For You!
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post
Community Guidelines & Practices - Frequently Asked Questions
Forum Rules

Feel free to ask questions if you have any and start a new thread of your own and post them under the appropriate forum headings and do check out the many informative articles we have here in Articles | The Cat Site

Enjoy your stay and see ya around :wink:
 

rubysmama

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Thanks, rubysmama! And I just realized that my anxiety-induced sleep deprivation (haven't really slept since the adoption) resulted in me calling TCS "TAS." Oh my. :confused:

Which forum here would be the best for posting "please help me not be so panicked about this new addition..."-type questions?

And how long does the new-pet-parent anxiety/panic typically last? (Note that I'm an anxious person by default, so tack on extra time accordingly. ;))
No worries about the typo. And, BTW, once you post a certain # of messages, you'll get the "editing" option.

How long does the new-pet-parent anxiety last? Well, I guess it depends what is causing your anxiety. Is it wondering what to feed her? How to clean the litter box? What kind of toys to buy for her? If it's something specific, then you can probably post in one of the cat care forums, such as Cat Behavior, Grooming & General Cat Care, Cat Nutrition, etc.

But for a general "please help me not be so panicked about this new addition..."-type questions? the The Cat's Meow forum would probably be best. But don't worry about posting in the wrong forum, as the mods will move a post if they think it would be better in a different forum.

At 4 years old, Gracie is a pro at "being a cat", so try to relax and enjoy having your very own feline. :catlove:
 
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GraciesParent

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Thanks for the welcome and links tabbytom!

rubysmama, it's anxiety over all the change that is/will happen now that I have a cat. I feel like my routine is gone. I'm also a neat freak, so I worry about keeping my place clean.

I worry about trimming her nails -- she doesn't seem to like her paws being touched, and gets chompy, but I also can't rely on the vet to do it every few weeks.

I worry about sleep -- namely: mine. I don't want her in my bedroom at night, so I worry about how I'm going to keep her out, if she's going to cry all night, etc. So far, she's been sequestered in her safe room overnight, but I'll be giving her the run of the apartment soon. And I don't want to keep her in the safe room every night forever because I gradually want to move her litter box to its permanent home in the bathroom.

And I worry about the future: what happens if she gets really sick? what happens when I want to go on vacation? etc.

Most importantly: what if I realize I don't actually want a cat, after all? Or just can't cope with having one because the high anxiety doesn't drop? That one kind of breaks my heart.

I know none of that is productive, and that it's my anxiety taking over, but it's hard to pull myself out of that spiral at the moment.
 

PushPurrCatPaws

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Hello, GraciesParent GraciesParent ! Welcome to TCS! :welcomesign:
It's a site full of great people and great advice! :cheerleader: :clap2:


Sometimes if we're feeling anxious, it's good to read through what other anxious posters wrote about, so we know we are not alone and we can see how they dealt with getting a new cat. I think this thread could be helpful in that way,
Anxious about new cat - any advice??

:hangin: :grouphug2:
 

KMac8682

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Welcome! Gracie is adorable ❤

I was feeling the same you 5 days ago, having my first even kitten Layla.

This site has been a massive help and the advice really has eased my fears. Your not alone and after 5 days, Im feeling like my life has always been this way with my Layla.

Much love ❤
 

dustydiamond1

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:hellosmiley::hithere: Take a deep breath, sit down with your beverage of choice, get Gracie close and stroke your cat. Empty your mind and just relax for awhile.:chillpill: Stop with all the "what ifs" and I do understand how hard that can be or you will drive yourself and Gracie crazy.:bliss: Cats pick up anxiety as well as contented vibes. As rubysmama rubysmama said she is a pro at "being a cat" :clapcat:so relax and just enjoy Your cat. For the time being just fret over one thing at a time. My motto is " Prepare for the worst and then forget about it" Meaning that if it happens you know what to do and if it doesn't happen then you haven't wasted precious time fretting over nothing. Post lots of photos of Gracie and enjoy looking at everyone elses. You are not alone, both at home and here.:heartshape::grouphug::grouphug2::vibes::vibes::catlove:
 

rubysmama

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rubysmama, it's anxiety over all the change that is/will happen now that I have a cat. I feel like my routine is gone. I'm also a neat freak, so I worry about keeping my place clean.
Cats are pretty independent. Unlike dogs, they don't need to be walked, or bathed, or won't miss you horribly every time you leave. They do need the essentials, of course, and some attention, but not so much that it should totally change you routine.

Though, yes, your place won't look at neat as without a cat. There will be fur. And probably litter scatter. But that's what your vacuum is for. ;)


worry about trimming her nails -- she doesn't seem to like her paws being touched, and gets chompy, but I also can't rely on the vet to do it every few weeks.
Here's an article that might be helpful: How To Best Take Care Of Cat Claws

My Ruby also hates having her paws touched, so nail trimming isn't something that happens as regularly as I'd like. I just try to clip one now and then, whenever she's napping in my lap and seems relaxed. And you just have to get the very tip to get rid of the sharp point.

I worry about sleep -- namely: mine. I don't want her in my bedroom at night, so I worry about how I'm going to keep her out, if she's going to cry all night, etc. So far, she's been sequestered in her safe room overnight, but I'll be giving her the run of the apartment soon. And I don't want to keep her in the safe room every night forever because I gradually want to move her litter box to its permanent home in the bathroom.
I can't help you with that, as I love it when Ruby sleeps with me. Here's another article, though, with tips on How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night (step-by-step Plan)

And I worry about the future: what happens if she gets really sick? what happens when I want to go on vacation? etc.
No once can predict the future, about anything. It's best to be prepared, but not dwell on the things that may or may not happen. At 4 years old, she unlikely to get really sick for many years. So try not to worry. And if vet bills is a concern, maybe set up a special bank account where you can deposit a little money once in a while, so it'll be there if you need it.

If you want to go on vacation, you can either get a family member or friend to stop by and check on Gracie, and clean the litter box, and put down food & water. Or you can board her. Your vet might even have boarding for cats.

Most importantly: what if I realize I don't actually want a cat, after all? Or just can't cope with having one because the high anxiety doesn't drop? That one kind of breaks my heart.
What made you decide to get a cat? Remembering that reason should help to reassure you that adopting Gracie is what you wanted.

And remember cats are good for our health.
The Power Of Petting
The Power Of The Purr

:purr:
 
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GraciesParent

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Thanks so much for all the info and links, rubysmama rubysmama .

I keep hoping the panic and dread I feel will ease up, but so far: no dice. I get up (after a sleepless night) feeling panicked, spend the day feeling anxious (and like I made a mistake) and then go to bed worrying about the next day -- will I feel better? Will this all feel more "right"?

I know it's only been four days, but I get a huge wave of anxiety every time I realize Gracie isn't just visiting, she lives here.
 

dustydiamond1

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Thanks so much for all the info and links, rubysmama rubysmama .

I keep hoping the panic and dread I feel will ease up, but so far: no dice. I get up (after a sleepless night) feeling panicked, spend the day feeling anxious (and like I made a mistake) and then go to bed worrying about the next day -- will I feel better? Will this all feel more "right"?

I know it's only been four days, but I get a huge wave of anxiety every time I realize Gracie isn't just visiting, she lives here.
Then pretend she is just visiting...
 

rubysmama

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I know it's only been four days, but I get a huge wave of anxiety every time I realize Gracie isn't just visiting, she lives here.
Was getting Gracie a spur of the moment decision? Or had you been thinking/wanting a cat for a while?
 
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GraciesParent

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I'd been talking about adopting a cat for, quite literally, YEARS. Going to shelters and rescues, meeting cats, hanging out at Petsmart and playing w/ the adoptable cats there, etc., for years... but never really finding "the one."

During that time, I did all my research, learned about cats/cat behaviour, cat-sat for my sister multiple times, and felt mostly prepared for having a cat of my own. Plus, friends and family have/had cats, so I've been around them for a long time.

Somewhere way deep down, though, was always a very quiet worry that maybe I didn't truly want a cat, and that I was just using the "nope, he/she isn't right for me" excuse as a way of getting out of the potential commitment. There was almost a sense of relief that I hadn't found a great cat because then I wouldn't have to decide.

When I met Gracie, she was (and still is) great. So, I thought, "Aha! Here she is!" And taking HER home was a quick decision -- I didn't hem and haw over her for days as I normally would have... during which time a cat would inevitably be adopted by someone else... I hung out with her for about an hour and then took the plunge.

But even as great as she is, I'm feeling like I made a mistake. Because if I can't get to that "yay! I have a cat!" feeling with a cat this good, it's obviously all about me (and my issues), not her.

Also, it seems she has worms (have found some evidence in her tail fur). Thank goodness she already had her initial wellness visit with the vet booked for tomorrow.
 

Mamanyt1953

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Well, thankfully the worms are no big deal. That will be taken care of tomorrow.

As for your own feelings...you knew that she was for you when you saw her. Hold on to that. What you are feeling now is a bit of backlash as you realize the commitment that you have just made. It's actually pretty common. That and the fact that we have to remember that all good relationships grow with time and knowing each other. Fireworks fizzle, but a slow, steady fire, built with care over time, warms you for years. Let that fire grow, Darlin. Let it grow.
 
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