heartbroken

Dorothy in Kansas

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In March 2020 I met a free roaming outdoor cat that's been living on the property where I work. After being greeted by the cat as I left in the evening for several days in a row the issue of this cat's welfare began growing. While several other employees were already feeding the cat from from time to time I began feeding her as well. The difference with me was that I took the time to shop to find out what kind of kibbles and wet cat food are supposed to promote health AND that this cat enjoyed eating.
 
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Dorothy in Kansas

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( sorry, wasn't done yet and not sure how to edit above to continue )

The cat was a skittish cat. Hasn't let anyone touch it in more than 5 years. Apart from that it never acted like a truly feral cat. Always seemed like a lost stray that has a deep distrust of people. After four months of consistently spending time with the cat and feeding her every day the physical distance she kept from me began shrinking. Eventually I was able to engage her in some play activity with a dangle kind of feather toy.

By this time I had become attached to the cat and was wanted to get her to a vet for vaccinations and any needed treatments. I wanted to bring her home with me so she would have an opportunity to have a different life if she would be able to adapt to an indoor life. I found a way to use a small brush on her neck and head without invading the 2-3 foot distance then separating us after she ate. Her eating habits changed. She didn't gobble down everything I fed her all at one time and usually left some in her dish(es) that she ate sometime during the night after I'd left. After moving to a different building and office, when I'd come park in front of her building she would walk out and sit at the curb waiting for me while I gathered things and made my way to meet with her.

A few weeks ago she was down on her haunches near my feel. I was brushing her neck with a brush and listening to her purring. I reached down and began petting her neck and head with my hand. She turned her head back and looked at me. Instead of skittering away, she turned back and soaked up the affection she was receiving.

Without going into the details I was told to not feed the cat. I have to go with that. When I went to see the cat right away I could see the cat's confusion over why I was not offering the food I always brought. I had broken our routine. I am certain she experiences that as me breaking the bond of trust she had formed due to the consistency of my previous behavior. I made arrangements for someone else to feed her each day in my place. I'd go to visit with her late at night.
 
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Dorothy in Kansas

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( again, hit the wrong keystroke )

That seemed to ease things a bit. After several days I was able to pet her again. It seemed like she was accepting the new situation. But I knew that would be short lived if I were seen on the property. One night I made a grab for the cat with my hands. She let me pick her up but when I stood and took a step forward she got spooked and I had to let her go.
 
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Dorothy in Kansas

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( again )

The last few nights I went to visit she stayed 8-10 feet away and sat facing away to the side, giving me a profile view. A local shelter loaned me a live capture trap. I gave that a try without success. People who know this cat had already told me she has avoided previous attempts to capture her. I don't see any way to fix the situation and have had to give up the desire to bring her home. And I'm concerned for her with the winter coming on.
 

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My mom had a feral colony. There was one particular cat, Tiny, that was a beast to catch. She would not go near a live trap. She got to the point that she would gingerly rub against you if you had food, but if you tried to pet her/pick her up, she bolted. What finally, finally worked (she had a litter of kittens while I tried to catch her...sigh) was getting a medium/large dog cage. I fed her right beside that cage with the door open for two weeks until she didn't care about it being present. One day, while she was eating, I scruffed her and quickly stuffed her into the cage. She wasn't happy, but she was caught and subsequently fixed. When we released her back, she stuck around, so she wasn't too mad at us.

I suggest getting a big dog cage like above and putting her food inside. See is she goes for that. If not, since you can hold her, see if you can gently place her inside the cage. Be quick. Be prepared for her to freak out- have a blanket handy to quickly cover the cage. Failures will happen, but be persistent!
 
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Dorothy in Kansas

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Thank you so much for your suggestions. Unfortunately, putting a trap or cage in place and leaving it is not an option. The property belongs to the federal government where I work. I've been notified by my supervisor that I am not to feed the cat. Not doing so has broken the bond of trust that had been established. I've gone over and visited with the cat but she distances herself and stays aloof now. Before, she had just begun allowing me to pet her with my hands. I wasn't able to hold her and I made a grab for her one time but wasn't able to hold on. I had to let her go.

I will go over in the evenings to see if something may change.
 

Mamanyt1953

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If you can slip in and out safely in the evenings, by all means do so. She knows you, and you will probably be able to re-establish that relationship. Don't give up quite yet. But do NOT risk yourself or your job with this!

Once you have been a member for a few days, and have made (I think) 20 posts, there will be an "edit" button at the bottom of your post, once you hit the "post reply" button. Until then, don't worry about apologizing when these little mishaps happen. We've all done it!
 
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