Heartbroken

Rufus’ Mom

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Wednesday I had to say goodbye to my best friend. I feel so robbed..

I rescued Rufus over 14 years ago and I’m so lucky to have had him in my life. He was really one of a kind.

I recently noticed that he was have issues chewing his food so I scheduled an appointment for a teeth cleaning which included three extractions. While I was handing him over to the tech, I immediately started to cry for no reason at all and just had this bad feeling I couldn’t shake; I just thought I was nervous about his first surgery. He came back home with me and to my surprise, never skipped a meal or even showed signs of discomfort. He was only sent home with pain meds for three days and when he was done, he completely stopped eating which was very out of character for my little chonk. Two days later, I took him to the vet; they prescribed new pain meds and an antibiotic this time around. Still no eating so I was syringe feeding my poor baby. I took him back, they drew labs and would call me back two days later. Well, I got the results and Rufus had a creatinine level of 13 which the vet told me was “incompatible for life”. I was DEVASTATED. I took him back to be hospitalized and after three days, the blood work was getting worse and Rufus was now losing mobility in his legs. The vet told me as nicely as she could, there were no other options. I returned to the vet’s to say goodbye and as I held my baby, I felt his last sigh and he sounded relieved because he was just so sick and exhausted. I never expected this so soon; all his bloodwork before the surgery was PERFECT.

It’s been two days now and I can’t stop crying. I keep expecting him to come running down the stairs to greet me or to feel him curled up by me in bed. My heart is completely broken and I don’t know how I can get past the hurt. I love him so much and I can’t imagine my life without him.
Tomorrow is the weekend where we would sleep in together and snuggle and I just don’t know where to go from here :(
 

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Mia6

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I am so very sorry about Rufus. He was lovely!! What you're experiencing is normal. I know how
much it hurts and I wish I could say something to ease your pain. Just know you're with people
who've lost their babies and there is always someone around to talk with..Rufus is now at the Bridge
with so many of our babies, Lola,Pallina, Chicken, Jeff, Chai, Lady G, Pickle, Artie, Chrissie and sooo many others
My Vincie girl is there as well and she will take him under her wing and show him the ropes. Be good to
yourself, cry as much as you need to, spoil yourself.💖💝

Love, :hugs: :hearthrob::hugs::rbheart::redheartpump:

Miaxxxx
 
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Rufus’ Mom

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Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sure he’s making tons of new friends. He was quite the social boy :hearthrob::redheartpump:

His urn arrived today and you can see just how many hearts he touched. Even the vet and techs were kissing him goodbye.
 

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Mia6

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Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sure he’s making tons of new friends. He was quite the social boy :hearthrob::redheartpump:

His urn arrived today and you can see just how many hearts he touched. Even the vet and techs were kissing him goodbye.
Well, my Vincie girl was quite sociable so I'm certain he's made lots of friends already!!💖💝
 

Norachan

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I'm so sorry to hear you lost your beautiful boy. It's always heart breaking to lose a cat, especially one that's been a close friend for so many years. I can imagine how badly you're missing him.

Just let yourself cry as much as you need to. In time you'll start to remember all the good things about him, all the happy memories you shared and the special times you spent together. I know your heart is broken now, but in time you will feel better.

. :hugs:
 

di and bob

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How horrible! I wish I could say I have never had to go through something like this, but unfortunately, it happens more than you and I could ever comprehend. His not chewing properly in the first place could have been an indicator of deeper problems than you or a vet, anyone, could have known. You did what was required, and you really had no way of knowing something like this would happen. Your feelings before the surgery could have been a premonition that it was a deeper problem then it seemed.
You have loved him for a long time. It will take even longer to come to a place where you will think of him with gratitude and happiness instead of pain. He shared your life's journey for quite a while, now his new path will forever parallel your own because your bond of love has entered your very soul. he will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers, I know I suffered so very much until I realized that my own little girl loved life so very much she would NEVER want me to waste a minute more of it on sorrow and grief. Try to live the rest of your life as you would have wanted Rufus to live if you had been the first to go. He is at peace now, and there is no way to change what has already happened. There was no way you could have let him go on in terrible pain either, with his teeth pain. He hid his pain from you and may have been hiding more from other failing health problems. He, after all, was a cat, and cats instinctively hide their pain. I know this doesn't help you right now, but it may in the future.
My heart goes out to you. We can share your burden of pain and maybe take a little from you by empathizing because of our own. Sometimes it helps to lessen your own burden by offering comfort to others who are going through such a horrible time in their lives. There is really not much that can be done right now except to say I am so sorry for your loss, and pray you will be able to take comfort in knowing you gave him his everything, a wonderful home, and your love.....take care, and feel the love he will be forever sending your way. Do not cry because he is gone, try to smile because he was there. You have received one of life's greatest treasures, a cat's love.....RIP dear Rufus, you will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

les26

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Another Tuxedo gone........:frown: 😢

I am so sorry that this happened to you, so so sad when it is time to say solong, but it is not goodbye but "solong" for now as you will meet again one day and it will be beautiful.

I know I have said it countless times but I get by on Holy Basil during times of stress and the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara, they work with your body to help deal with the stress, they don't mask it like drugs but help you adapt to it, but the Ignatia is for intense grief and shock, they really have helped me over the years with things like this.

Years ago when my then neighbor's wife died he said to me "there are worse things in this life than death", and he was right; to be here but not be in good shape it probably is better that we move on to be new and whole again in the next life, we don't want them to ever leave us but when things get bad the best thing for them is to let them move on albeit being the hardest thing to do, it hurts like hell and will for awhile, cry it out as that really helps, but with time it does finally lose it's sting.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you......:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Rufus, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Yes, there was a sigh of relief, and of fulfillment, as well, as he took his first step through the Gate between This Adventure and his Next Great Adventure. And he took your love with him to guide his way. Now he is healthy, and happy. His only sorrow is your sorrow. In That Place Where All Is Known, he sends his love, now translated and purified into Love, back to you, where it will be forever near, and one day, in the fullness of time, his Love will guide you back to him. Meanwhile, I have so many beloved pets there, and my Dad, as well. Dad will look after him. He was one of those who cats flocked to, and he had a weakness for tux cats. Rufus will be well-loved until you are with him again.
 
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Rufus’ Mom

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Thank you all for the amazing support and for helping through these difficult days. This weekend was very hard.. It’s almost a feeling of numbness today. I catch myself gazing off into the distance but I have made a little shrine for him and decided to keep most of his things other then food, meds, etc. I always want to feel him near me and be reminded of the joy and love he brought me. I love and miss that fat little boy so much. I’m taking it day by day and allowing myself to feel whatever emotions come when they do. My sister and I are attending a pet loss group session next week although I wish it was sooner...

Thinking of you Rufus every minute of my days. I know you’re eating cheetos and get all the butt pats up there. ❤❤
 

Antonio65

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I do understand the pain you're feeling, I know how you feel. You were happy because the surgery went fine and Rufus was recovering and then this.
It's like sort of a betrayal, isn't it? You were sure it was fine, then it wasn't.
I was there before, and it's devastating.

I know that Rufus loved you so much, he knows how much you did for him, and he's grateful for this. He won't ever leave you, he'll be there, during all the future weekend, to snuggle with you forever.

RIP Rufus, you were a really lucky cat!
 

Mia6

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My sister and I are attending a pet loss group session next week although I wish it was sooner...
That is an amazing thing to do. When I lost My Lena almost 20 years ago, I could not find a group
but found a pet grief therapist online who no longer practised. She was an instructor at a
university near my home. She told me to write down all I could remember about Lena; all the funny, cute,
and lovely things about her. She was 17 so it took me awhile and I would keep coming back to it and add
more. Since the,n I have notebooks for all my babies who are at the Bridge. I'm certain the support group
will be of comfort to you. Don't worry about Rufus, I bet he's already leading the Bridge conga line with the
girls fighting over him!!

Again, I am very sorry. The surreal feeling will pass.💖💝 :hugs: :redheartpump::hearthrob::rbheart:
 

Mamanyt1953

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Journaling can be very healing. One of my dear friends has begun to do this, and with the journal below. She says it has really helped her, although it took a couple of weeks before she felt able to start. She sent the link to me to share here, bless her.

 

solomonar

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We are never prepared, some say. That is true for humans and cats as well. One has a Grandpa 90 years old, and he asked him to stay more on Earth, despite serious and painful conditions.

Love lasts for ever and beyond the end - for sure.

Hugs and tears!
 

Krienze

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I am so sorry to hear about Rufus! My deepest condolences to you on this loss.

I can imagine the pain you must be in, but also the dread of the weekends where you'd sleep in together. I know I miss the moments we shared with our furrbabies that passed, the things they'd do that they no longer do, places they should be where they no longer are. I found talking about how that makes me feel has helped a great deal, so if you ever need to talk, I'm here and don't mind.

I'm still so very sorry, I know this is the worst feeling in the world =( but it sounds like he loved you so much! and you sound like such a wonderful person who gave him unconditional love.
 
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