Heartbroken...please Help Me!!!

[Karmakat2436]

Hi, I really need advice from all the cat lovers on here, who can maybe relate to how I am feeling. I am dying of a disease and don’t have long to live. I have a 12 year old cat and had her for four years. I rescued her from a shelter, she had behavioural issues and because of it had been in 4 different homes over her 8 years of life and was returned to this same shelter 3 times. She was such a sweet cat I immediately adopted her, after my other cat had just died of cancer and I was heartbroken. She saved my life literally, that’s how sad I was. She has become extremely attached to me over the years and is such a lovable cat. I constantly constantly worry and feel so bad for what she will go through when I a man gone. She misses me and just sleeps on my housecoat when I even leave for the day. I live with my husband, senior mother and my brother rents our basement and is very attached to her...as is my mother. I just don’t know what to do. My brother will move out to an apartment once I am gone but works long hours and won’t be home enough for her. My mother is 88 and in poor health and will move in with my sister who has three grown kids living with her and two cats. Who should take her? My husband isn’t too responsible when it comes to looking after cats...he had one before we married and is never home and never cleans the litter etc...I just wouldn’t want to leave her with him. He is not devoted enough to her. People have actually told me to put her down?! any situation I think of leaves me with no comfort and I’m so depressed in leaving her...she will think another owner abandoned her and now she has no behaviour issues (she wasn’t using litter box before, thus why people kept returning her or giving her away...it was because she was so constipated...a new diet fixed that)and is a perfectly happy kitty...but it’s because I’m home all day with her and give her so much love and attention. I love her like my child...I don’t have any. Sorry this is so long but it’s a complicated situation and I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do with her...any advice would be so very much appreciated. Thank you so much

 

[kittyluv387]

Wow I’m so sorry to hear... But I’m thinking that a no-kill shelter might have compassion for your situation. Where do you live?

 

[Karmakat2436]

Wow I’m so sorry to hear... But I’m thinking that a no-kill shelter might have compassion for your situation. Where do you live?

Hi thank you...I live in Canada. I could never take her to a shelter. I’m just wondering if living with a brother who won’t be around much but loves her to death or a home with new people, my mom, whom she knows and two cats would be better. She is such an anxious nervous kitty I’m worried about how she will react to new people plus two cats.

 

[Maria Bayote]

This is so sad, considering that in your situation right now you also have to deal with this worry. My heart wants to reach out to you. If only I live near you...

I kindly suggest that you just ask your brother to take care of your cat. Of all the people you mentioned, he is the one who you know will never abandon your cat. I am sure that when you are no longer around, he will be taking care of this cat as much as you have. Maybe he is only like this right now because he knows that you are still the one doing all the stuff.

Your cat is also senior, so she must stay with the same people she is with right now, or at least with your brother. If you bring her to a shelter, there is no guarantee that someone will adopt her given her age. She deserves a loving home where she would spend the rest of her years.

Talk to your brother. I am sure he will find ways to arrange for a better set - up between him and your cat. Cats are mostly sleeping anyway, so as long as there is food and water and litterbox cleaned daily your cat will just be fine. Once at home I am also sure your brother will be giving your cat plenty of cuddles.

I feel you. That is also my worry if in case I am gone. But I know my children will continue loving and taking care of my cats when I am no longer around.

My prayers are with you.

 

[Karmakat2436]

This is so sad, considering that in your situation right now you also have to deal with this worry. My heart wants to reach out to you. If only I live near you...

I kindly suggest that you just ask your brother to take care of your cat. Of all the people you mentioned, he is the one who you know will never abandon your cat. I am sure that when you are no longer around, he will be taking care of this cat as much as you have. Maybe he is only like this right now because he knows that you are still the one doing all the stuff.

Your cat is also senior, so she must stay with the same people she is with right now, or at least with your brother. If you bring her to a shelter, there is no guarantee that someone will adopt her given her age. She deserves a loving home where she would spend the rest of her years.

Talk to your brother. I am sure he will find ways to arrange for a better set - up between him and your cat. Cats are mostly sleeping anyway, so as long as there is food and water and litterbox cleaned daily your cat will just be fine. Once at home I am also sure your brother will be giving your cat plenty of cuddles.

I feel you. That is also my worry if in case I am gone. But I know my children will continue loving and taking care of my cats when I am no longer around.

My prayers are with you.

This is so sad, considering that in your situation right now you also have to deal with this worry. My heart wants to reach out to you. If only I live near you...

I kindly suggest that you just ask your brother to take care of your cat. Of all the people you mentioned, he is the one who you know will never abandon your cat. I am sure that when you are no longer around, he will be taking care of this cat as much as you have. Maybe he is only like this right now because he knows that you are still the one doing all the stuff.

Your cat is also senior, so she must stay with the same people she is with right now, or at least with your brother. If you bring her to a shelter, there is no guarantee that someone will adopt her given her age. She deserves a loving home where she would spend the rest of her years.

Talk to your brother. I am sure he will find ways to arrange for a better set - up between him and your cat. Cats are mostly sleeping anyway, so as long as there is food and water and litterbox cleaned daily your cat will just be fine. Once at home I am also sure your brother will be giving your cat plenty of cuddles.

I feel you. That is also my worry if in case I am gone. But I know my children will continue loving and taking care of my cats when I am no longer around.

My prayers are with you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I would never take her to a shelter worried about who would adopt her and if she would be treated well etc. Yes I think my brother is the best option also as I trust him 100%with her ...I guess as you say he won’t be home a lot but at least she will be looked after properly and loved a lot. Probably giving her to my mom to take to an environment that will be super stressful (4 new humans and 2 new cats) would not be ideal though I know my mom also would be so good for her as she is home all the time to be with her, but she is 88 and could also be gone soon and then my kitty will have to deal with all the stress of new people and two cats on her own. I just can’t believe how much I am worried about my kitty. I feel so sad leaving her like I let her down. Again thanks so much i appreciate all your insite into my situation. I just needed someone from the outside who is not in the situation to give me some advice. And you answered my question I know what I have to do

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I think you have made your decision, and it is the one that I was going to suggest, as well. Remember, she is an older cat, and will be sleeping much of the time that he is away working, as well. She will be with someone who loves her, and whom she loves.

My heart goes out to you, along with my prayers for an easy passage from this life to the next.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hello
If I may interject a couple of thoughts, if you can, try and ensure that your housecoat stays with your kitty, and that she is provided with some music. Musicforcats . com is one good source.
I pray that you have a gentle journey and thank you for being such a loving soul

 

[FeebysOwner]

I am so sorry. I can't add much to the valuable information you have been given.

But, I would like to offer a few specific things.

Such as, letting your brother help out with your cat's care as much as is possible. Treats, feeding, play time, litter box cleaning, etc. Hopefully, your cat will begin to see him as one of his two caretakers; although he won't ever be able to replace you, she may begin to see him as someone who she can trust to take care of her.

The other is hard for me to address to you, but I think you will forgive me. I know when my dad passed away, and then again when my mom did, I was able to keep clothing items, pillows, etc. with their scents on them. I even enclosed them in secure plastic bags to help prolong their scent lasting. If you can, would you be willing to do that with a few of your clothing items - or ask your brother to do that for you? Your kitty can have one or two to sleep with/lay on after you are gone to start with, and as they lose smell, your brother could pull out another for her? It will help her in the beginning, or at least I think it would.

Over time, he could start laying out a few of his items when he is not home, along with yours.

Bless you and your baby.

 

[CatLover49]

Hi, I really need advice from all the cat lovers on here, who can maybe relate to how I am feeling. I am dying of a disease and don’t have long to live. I have a 12 year old cat and had her for four years. I rescued her from a shelter, she had behavioural issues and because of it had been in 4 different homes over her 8 years of life and was returned to this same shelter 3 times. She was such a sweet cat I immediately adopted her, after my other cat had just died of cancer and I was heartbroken. She saved my life literally, that’s how sad I was. She has become extremely attached to me over the years and is such a lovable cat. I constantly constantly worry and feel so bad for what she will go through when I a man gone. She misses me and just sleeps on my housecoat when I even leave for the day. I live with my husband, senior mother and my brother rents our basement and is very attached to her...as is my mother. I just don’t know what to do. My brother will move out to an apartment once I am gone but works long hours and won’t be home enough for her. My mother is 88 and in poor health and will move in with my sister who has three grown kids living with her and two cats. Who should take her? My husband isn’t too responsible when it comes to looking after cats...he had one before we married and is never home and never cleans the litter etc...I just wouldn’t want to leave her with him. He is not devoted enough to her. People have actually told me to put her down?! any situation I think of leaves me with no comfort and I’m so depressed in leaving her...she will think another owner abandoned her and now she has no behaviour issues (she wasn’t using litter box before, thus why people kept returning her or giving her away...it was because she was so constipated...a new diet fixed that)and is a perfectly happy kitty...but it’s because I’m home all day with her and give her so much love and attention. I love her like my child...I don’t have any. Sorry this is so long but it’s a complicated situation and I’m heartbroken and don’t know what to do with her...any advice would be so very much appreciated. Thank you so much

Im so sorry for u n ure kitty.May God Bless U Both

 

[Karmakat2436]

I think you have made your decision, and it is the one that I was going to suggest, as well. Remember, she is an older cat, and will be sleeping much of the time that he is away working, as well. She will be with someone who loves her, and whom she loves.

My heart goes out to you, along with my prayers for an easy passage from this life to the next.

Thank you so much for the reply and prayers I really appreciate them very much..that is very kind of you. Also, the confirmation from another person that my brother is the best choice is greatly appreciated and helps make my decision easier that I am doing the best for her. I just needed to hear from cat lovers on what they would do, as you all can relate with how important my kitty is to me. Thanks so much again

 

[Karmakat2436]

Hello
If I may interject a couple of thoughts, if you can, try and ensure that your housecoat stays with your kitty, and that she is provided with some music. Musicforcats . com is one good source.
I pray that you have a gentle journey and thank you for being such a loving soul

Awww thank you so much I will definitely keep those suggestions in mind. And the music for cats.com site is an awesome suggestion and helps me too knowing it will help her when she is alone. She is use to having me home all the time and I just worry she will be so lonely when nobody is there...she is just one spoiled rotten kitty...lol thanks so much again.

 

[Karmakat2436]

Im so sorry for u n ure kitty.May God Bless U Both

Thank you so very much. Your words are so appreciated.

 

[Karmakat2436]

I am so sorry. I can't add much to the valuable information you have been given.

But, I would like to offer a few specific things.

Such as, letting your brother help out with your cat's care as much as is possible. Treats, feeding, play time, litter box cleaning, etc. Hopefully, your cat will begin to see him as one of his two caretakers; although he won't ever be able to replace you, she may begin to see him as someone who she can trust to take care of her.

The other is hard for me to address to you, but I think you will forgive me. I know when my dad passed away, and then again when my mom did, I was able to keep clothing items, pillows, etc. with their scents on them. I even enclosed them in secure plastic bags to help prolong their scent lasting. If you can, would you be willing to do that with a few of your clothing items - or ask your brother to do that for you? Your kitty can have one or two to sleep with/lay on after you are gone to start with, and as they lose smell, your brother could pull out another for her? It will help her in the beginning, or at least I think it would.

Over time, he could start laying out a few of his items when he is not home, along with yours.

Bless you and your baby.

Thank you that is an awesome suggestion!! I didn’t even think of that. Actually when my dad died I kept his coat and a few items and to this day..(he passed away ten years ago) when I am sad or miss him I actually do snuggle with his winter coat trying to smell his scent which is long gone..I wish I would have thought to do that with my dads items! I will definitely do this and prepare this for her before I am gone!
The other day someone sent me this Pinterest lil video on this cat looking at a video of their owner who passed away years ago, the cat stared and watched this video of his old owner and it was the saddest video I ever watched, the cat actually laid his head down on the persons phone as if he was snuggling the phone and I bawled my eyes out. I told my brother omg don’t ever do that to her I think it just confuses them ...I dunno. But the clothes is a great suggestion. Thank you for taking the time to reply it is so very much appreciated!!

 

[DreamerRose]

Good luck to you and your kitty. You've made the best decision and your kitty will be well taken care of. So sorry this situation has gotten you upset, but all will be well in the future.

 

[Karmakat2436]

Good luck to you and your kitty. You've made the best decision and your kitty will be well taken care of. So sorry this situation has gotten you upset, but all will be well in the future.

Thank you so much for saying that. Everyone has made me feel a lot better...I appreciate all the comments so much

 

[Talien]

I'm sorry to hear this is happening, but it looks like you've gotten some good advice and your Cat will be in good hands. One other thing you might want to consider is to make sure she knows you're gone and didn't disappear. Just like with people it's best for animals to know for sure, so when the time comes if possible she should be there with you, or at least be able to see you after. Grief is easier to deal with than the constant worry of not knowing.

 

[Maria Bayote]

This is so distressing for me to say this, but can you make several videos of yourself as if you are talking to your cat? Then ask your brother to play it everyday when he gets home from work, so that your cat will continue seeing you and hearing your voice.

I cannot stop thinking about you. Please stop worrying.

Positive thoughts, is what my brother also always tells me each time I get so down and broken. So here's a lot of love and hugs coming our way to yours.

 

[Karmakat2436]

I'm sorry to hear this is happening, but it looks like you've gotten some good advice and your Cat will be in good hands. One other thing you might want to consider is to make sure she knows you're gone and didn't disappear. Just like with people it's best for animals to know for sure, so when the time comes if possible she should be there with you, or at least be able to see you after. Grief is easier to deal with than the constant worry of not knowing.

Hi there, thank you. I had mentioned this to a few people what would be better and some people said it would stress her out more to see me dead? And to make sure I do not die in the house around her...I’m so confused with this. I remember when I went away for ten days and left her with my mom and brother, when I came home I thought she would be thrilled to see me. But instead she was scared of me and stared at me ..she actually ran to hide. I think she did think I died and was never coming back and it terrified her almost like I was a ghost. I have never experienced this was any other cats. Oh gosh this is so difficult, I just am at a loss...like you say I don’t want her to think I abandoned her and she will wonder where I am and am I ever coming back?.,, but maybe it would be better if she knew and saw my body??

 

[Karmakat2436]

This is so distressing for me to say this, but can you make several videos of yourself as if you are talking to your cat? Then ask your brother to play it everyday when he gets home from work, so that your cat will continue seeing you and hearing your voice.

I cannot stop thinking about you. Please stop worrying.

Positive thoughts, is what my brother also always tells me each time I get so down and broken. So here's a lot of love and hugs coming our way to yours.

You are so sweet for thinking of me...I appreciate it so much. Thank you. I was wondering if I should do this...or will this confuse her more? Just as I posted to someone previously I watched this video on a cat looking at a phone with his owner on video who died a few years ago and the cat looked so confused and stared at the phone and then laid down and snuggled the phone...I bawled watching this..it was so heartbreaking...I’ll try find it and send to you and tell me what you think...thanks again

 

[Karmakat2436]

This is so distressing for me to say this, but can you make several videos of yourself as if you are talking to your cat? Then ask your brother to play it everyday when he gets home from work, so that your cat will continue seeing you and hearing your voice.

I cannot stop thinking about you. Please stop worrying.

Positive thoughts, is what my brother also always tells me each time I get so down and broken. So here's a lot of love and hugs coming our way to yours.

Here is the video..hope it works..I can’t watch it even again.