Having trouble bonding with my cat


Mom of 2 destructoids
Thread starter
Dec 1, 2021
I know this has been posted on here a few times and I’m not sure if this goes in this thread, but, oh well I need help.
My first cat died a couple years ago. Died as in, she got out of my house and climbed under my car and I drove off with her stuck in it. Anyways, I feel like I’ve had a bit of a disconnect with my cats since her death. I know it’s because of my fear of connecting with them and losing them, but still.
I adopted my two kittens the day she died, five minutes before the shelter closed. They had coccidia and I had to give them medicine and force feed them daily. Hundreds of dollars of medical bills later, they’re fine. It’s been two years, they’re about two years old. I’ve moved around quite a lot, faced homelessness a couple of times.
I loves them a lot before I got into my last relationship. He kept them on the back patio and wouldn’t let them inside. I would sit on the patio in the cold with them. Then I got kicked out and moved into a guest room, and they had to be kept in the garage. I think my separation from them is maybe why I’m feeling a disconnect now, but, continuing.
I eventually moved into a house and they roamed free. Then my roommates kicked me out because my cat threw up on the floor and scratched and climbed things, you know, as cats do. After that I decided to try and rehome them because my home situation was too unstable. No one wanted them, so I eventually took Nymeria back when I got my own place.
Ghost found an owner, but then she gave him back to my grandma. He stayed on my grandmas porch a few months until I finally took him back. But I didn’t really want to. I just didn’t want someone adopting him that I didn’t know and trust.
Now I’m aggravated because he keeps me up all night getting into anything he can, chewing any plastic, chasing his sister around, knocking things over, nearly knocking my tv over several times, etc. I know he’s just doing cat things but I can’t SLEEP. Whenever I’m in the kitchen, he screams at me. He has food. I don’t know what he wants.
He has behaviors that annoy me and I’m trying to not be annoyed with a cat because he’s a cat.


Mom to an inappropriate urinator
Adult Cat
Apr 25, 2017
You have been through a lot:( I'm sorry about your late cat, and about your housing situation. You have your own place now--congrats!!

One thing you might do is try to get a few nights of solid sleep. When my family is being loud, I have to sleep with ear plugs and white noise playing through sleeping headphones. It's hard not to be irritated when you are tired.

You could also seek out a pet loss support group. I think lots of shelters and rescues have them.