Guys I don’t think we can do this anymore...

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

My cats have been separated for 6 months due to a redirected aggression incident. My little cat had increasingly become a bully to my elderly dog and my older cat. After their big fight they have been separated. We have done three introductions with no success and felt like we were at a successful fourth. My older cat got out of his safe room tonight and my little cat immediately aggressively attacked him. My older cat peed everywhere and little cat tore out chunks of his hair. I don’t know what to do anymore. We have had little cat checked out by a vet. He is on .5 ml of Prozac a day. We feed them by the door together. My husband and I have slept separated for 6 months so nobody would have to feel alone. Please. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to give my little baby up but I can’t live like this forever, walking on eggshells on when he’ll get upset with my dog for no reason or if there are incidences like this. What else can I do before giving him up? I don’t want to feel like we are giving up but emotionally and mentally we are exhausted with this. Things didn’t used to be like this. They used to love each other. They didn’t fight and little cat wasn’t so easily triggered into being so aggressive.

 

[-Cory-]

This is a hard situation. Do you have a licensed behaviorist near you? It's expensive, but generally the results are good if you can incorporate the changes they suggest.

 

[lizzieloo]

I know how you feel, I had a similar thing happen and the year of keeping everyone separate was exhausting and played a toll on my mental health (and theirs). I don't have any advice but wanted to offer support. *hugs*

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

This is a hard situation. Do you have a licensed behaviorist near you? It's expensive, but generally the results are good if you can incorporate the changes they suggest.

We had a behaviorist come by in October. She gave us some nice advice but the end result was Prozac if nothing worked. Nothing worked and he's currently on Prozac, which...well I'm not sure is working either. I can tell personality wise that he is calmer, but when it comes to the other cat (and our dog) he is the same. I may try another one, more like a veterinary behaviorist as opposed to someone who just studied cats in school lol

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

I know how you feel, I had a similar thing happen and the year of keeping everyone separate was exhausting and played a toll on my mental health (and theirs). I don't have any advice but wanted to offer support. *hugs*

What was the end result with your situation was? Definitely taking a toll on our mental health and theirs. This isn't good for anyone's health, really.

 

[neely]

I'm sorry you are going through a stressful period and understand your disappointment. I thought these two Articles might have some helpful advice for you: How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
Stress in Cats – The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

I don't think you mentioned it but have you tried a Feliway diffuser? FELIWAY CLASSIC Diffuser

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

I'm sorry you are going through a stressful period and understand your disappointment. I thought these two Articles might have some helpful advice for you: How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
Stress in Cats – The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles

I don't think you mentioned it but have you tried a Feliway diffuser? FELIWAY CLASSIC Diffuser

I have a Feliway diffuser. I didn't feel it made much of a difference. We had a calming collar on little cat too and besides scratching it a lot, he didn't seem less fearful, aggressive, or calm.
I'll read those articles, thank you!

 

[lizzieloo]

What was the end result with your situation was? Definitely taking a toll on our mental health and theirs. This isn't good for anyone's health, really.

After 9-10 months the aggressor started limping severely and I thought she had a broken leg. Vet took an xray but since her foot was deformed they couldn't tell if it was broken. We put Scarlett on pain meds for 8 weeks and went back for more xrays (still fully limping, meds didn't help much) and the second vet also xrayed her hip and spine. Both had deformities and they said the reason I couldn't get them back to normal was Scarlett was in a lot of pain and it was adding stress to her. I had to put her down which was about a year after the redirected aggression. When I came home afterwards I saw my other cat play for the first time in a year. Neither of my cats were easily rehomeable for different reasons. If I could have I would have rehomed one of them. The aggression took a permanent toll on my cat Friday and she had long term behavioural issues from it.

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

After 9-10 months the aggressor started limping severely and I thought she had a broken leg. Vet took an xray but since her foot was deformed they couldn't tell if it was broken. We put Scarlett on pain meds for 8 weeks and went back for more xrays (still fully limping, meds didn't help much) and the second vet also xrayed her hip and spine. Both had deformities and they said the reason I couldn't get them back to normal was Scarlett was in a lot of pain and it was adding stress to her. I had to put her down which was about a year after the redirected aggression. When I came home afterwards I saw my other cat play for the first time in a year. Neither of my cats were easily rehomeable for different reasons. If I could have I would have rehomed one of them. The aggression took a permanent toll on my cat Friday and she had long term behavioural issues from it.

Oh gosh, I am so sorry. That must have been devastating. I hope you've found peace with having to make those hard decisions. I think my older cat will be okay but he is really scared of the little cat now, and I don't want him to be fearful all of the time, but I just love my little cat so much. I feel like he would be come comfortable in a no-pet home where he can be the star. Sending you hugs <3

 

[lizzieloo]

Oh gosh, I am so sorry. That must have been devastating. I hope you've found peace with having to make those hard decisions. I think my older cat will be okay but he is really scared of the little cat now, and I don't want him to be fearful all of the time, but I just love my little cat so much. I feel like he would be come comfortable in a no-pet home where he can be the star. Sending you hugs <3

thanks, I have come to peace with it. When I put her down the relief that came with it made me feel a lot of guilt. I've moved on.

I hope you are able to figure things out!

 

[AndreaFiona]

Wow, I could be writing this too. I am in the exact same boat. I am exactly 6 months in after a redirected aggression incident too. My aggressor is also on 5mg Prozac a day. My aggressor has not attacked my victim cat since Sept but I am super paranoid to let them together and all their interactions involve me completely hovering. We are now at them able to spend 2 hours loose together.

I hired a behaviourist and she has been helpful. She basically feels they are ready to be together full time but in the back of my head I feel this will happen again.

I feel your pain. So your cats are separate and one just managed to escape today and the aggressor instantly attacked?

 

[lizzieloo]

They were buddies and after 2 years a container of food fell and shortly after they ran from the room and collided into each other as they ran. Scarlett interpreted this as an attack and went craaaazy. I had them separate and both were put on meds to help. I did the food through the door, toys underneath, slow introductions etc from Jan to Julyish all positive stuff. They were finally good and lasted 2 weeks - play fighting and all. Then during a playfight on my laptop cord the cord came out and the little beep that happens when you unplug it started Scarlett and she attacked again. Separate and started at square one but could never get anywhere close to introductions. Then the leg thing happened in Oct...

Friday had behavioural stuff since being a kitten but that year affected her and she slowly got more and more aggressive to humans over the next 3 years and I had to put her down as she got dangerous. It sucked. The vet agreed with my decision. That was last summer...I fostered kittens since and just adopted a kitten last month!

 

[LTS3]

They were buddies and after 2 years a container of food fell and shortly after they ran from the room and collided into each other as they ran. Scarlett interpreted this as an attack and went craaaazy.

Sounds like redirected aggression caused by the falling food container. See if this article will help: Re-directed Aggression In Cats – TheCatSite Articles

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

Wow, I could be writing this too. I am in the exact same boat. I am exactly 6 months in after a redirected aggression incident too. My aggressor is also on 5mg Prozac a day. My aggressor has not attacked my victim cat since Sept but I am super paranoid to let them together and all their interactions involve me completely hovering. We are now at them able to spend 2 hours loose together.

I hired a behaviourist and she has been helpful. She basically feels they are ready to be together full time but in the back of my head I feel this will happen again.

I feel your pain. So your cats are separate and one just managed to escape today and the aggressor instantly attacked?

I'm sorry I just saw this. Wow I haven't found very many people dealing with long term redirected aggression incidents. I'm sorry you are in the same boat as I am. We were at a point in time where they were out together, but things weren't "normal". I was constantly hovering as well and little cat constantly stalked and bullied big cat, no attacking just straight up eyes on him at all times and the occasional dominating biting on the neck. We restarted introduction after a few days of this and they haven't been able to be together since that time (that was maybe October.)

What did the behaviorist recommend, if you don't mind me asking? And yes, they have been separated for awhile now, they can still smell each other and occasionally see each other, but my older cat got out of his safe room by accident and my aggressor cat did instantly attack him. Poor older cat peed everywhere from fear

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

They were buddies and after 2 years a container of food fell and shortly after they ran from the room and collided into each other as they ran. Scarlett interpreted this as an attack and went craaaazy. I had them separate and both were put on meds to help. I did the food through the door, toys underneath, slow introductions etc from Jan to Julyish all positive stuff. They were finally good and lasted 2 weeks - play fighting and all. Then during a playfight on my laptop cord the cord came out and the little beep that happens when you unplug it started Scarlett and she attacked again. Separate and started at square one but could never get anywhere close to introductions. Then the leg thing happened in Oct...

Friday had behavioural stuff since being a kitten but that year affected her and she slowly got more and more aggressive to humans over the next 3 years and I had to put her down as she got dangerous. It sucked. The vet agreed with my decision. That was last summer...I fostered kittens since and just adopted a kitten last month!

I'm so glad you have a new kitten! How wonderful Sounds like my exact situation. Medically, there seems to be nothing wrong with my little cat (Meep is his name). I took him to the vet and they did a lot of testing (no x-rays or cat scans though...maybe I should try that? My vet didn't seem to think of that as an urgent thing), anyway everything was great with him. But same thing, the situations and the small noises triggered him more and more. If there is a noise or even my dog barks I'm on edge, waiting for him to lash out (well, currently at the dog, the cats are separated of course). I feel bad because my dog is losing his eyesight and hearing so my cat lashing out at him usually comes as a surprise and he's knocked back. Plus he's a pug so his eyes are big and buldgy and I'm terrified Meep will hurt his eyes.

 

[AndreaFiona]

I’m so sorry to hear this! My situation is similar. My victim cat (my cats are 4 year old littermates by the way) has recently peed in fear too.

My situation has some differences in that my cats are generally fine together in the small amount of time I allow it until something “scary” happens such as a small noise. Then it’s actually the victim cat who panics and puffs up and runs and once she does that, the aggressor follows suit and chases her.

I also have a hard time allowing them into the area of my house where the initial incident occurred. I am convinced she will attack again there. I almost wonder if I am the traumatized one. It frightens me a lot.

So yes my cats are fully separate except when I allow them a short time together. My behaviourist has advised me to begin lengthening the time. So it has been working in that I was initially doing 5 and 10 min but now I can easily do 1-2 hours. I find it draining and frightening honestly. But I can’t keep living like this.

The behaviourist had tons of great ideas. Basically I need to exercise them both lots both with wand toys and also thinking activities like food puzzles and clicker training. I have not done clicker training but the toys and food puzzles really did help. They will lie side by side and work away at a large food puzzle I have for quite a long time peacefully.

I also do scavenger hunts where I hide treats all over to satisfy the need to hunt.

I have used Zylkene too but I am not sure how well it really works.

She also wants me to really focus on increasing their time together which I know is necessary but it scares me and I find it hard. I am getting there though.

I am happy to chat. I am the same as you....happy to know I’m not alone here. Not that I would want anyone else experiencing this!!

 

[AndreaFiona]

How long has Meep been on Prozac? My cat is very sensitive to noise as well and I have found this is actually getting a bit better on the Prozac. It seems to be helping that. She has been on it since September.

 

[AndreaFiona]

I just thought of something I wanted to mention. I am not an expert at this at all (since I can’t even solve my own situation) but I wanted to mention that I have noticed whenever I introduce the cats to anything new in terms of the introduction that there usually is an outburst.

For instance first time they saw each other through the baby gate there was an attack (well as much as there could be one with the gate there) but after that they were fine. Then first time they were loose together there were puffs and panics and chases. And then they are better. Then it was the first time they were out together for hours. One fell asleep and when she woke up and realized the other cat was loose with her she panicked, puffed and peed in fear while running away (even though the other cat was no where near her)

I’m wondering if you might look at Meep’s attack as just an outburst to the new situation of your other cat being out? Maybe as you normalize it he will calm down. I am not an expert though. Just basing it on my own observations with my cats.

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

I’m so sorry to hear this! My situation is similar. My victim cat (my cats are 4 year old littermates by the way) has recently peed in fear too.

My situation has some differences in that my cats are generally fine together in the small amount of time I allow it until something “scary” happens such as a small noise. Then it’s actually the victim cat who panics and puffs up and runs and once she does that, the aggressor follows suit and chases her.

I also have a hard time allowing them into the area of my house where the initial incident occurred. I am convinced she will attack again there. I almost wonder if I am the traumatized one. It frightens me a lot.

So yes my cats are fully separate except when I allow them a short time together. My behaviourist has advised me to begin lengthening the time. So it has been working in that I was initially doing 5 and 10 min but now I can easily do 1-2 hours. I find it draining and frightening honestly. But I can’t keep living like this.

The behaviourist had tons of great ideas. Basically I need to exercise them both lots both with wand toys and also thinking activities like food puzzles and clicker training. I have not done clicker training but the toys and food puzzles really did help. They will lie side by side and work away at a large food puzzle I have for quite a long time peacefully.

I also do scavenger hunts where I hide treats all over to satisfy the need to hunt.

I have used Zylkene too but I am not sure how well it really works.

She also wants me to really focus on increasing their time together which I know is necessary but it scares me and I find it hard. I am getting there though.

I am happy to chat. I am the same as you....happy to know I’m not alone here. Not that I would want anyone else experiencing this!!

Interesting, my behaviorist had a lot of the same suggestions. Zyklene, which I’m not sure was working and my aggressor cat sensed it on his food and stopped eating it. She suggested Lots of play too (30 minutes a day per cat...good lord, that’s too much for me. Not that I don’t like playing with them but after work I’m so exhausted I don’t want to play for an hour lol. Also they are hard to please with playtime so I’m lucky if I get 15 minutes with them a day.) We have food puzzles but only one cat is food motivated. I understand your fear with letting them together. I feel like part of what’s holding me (and them) back is that fear but at the same time the fear is justified...you don’t want them having more fights and that bond being broken more so you do everything you can to prevent that. Have you found while watching them during their periods together you are anxious and hovering? I felt that way whenever we (briefly) had them together and it sucked because I was like “Am I always going to have to watch them like this, waiting for *something* to happen and mess it all up?”

 

[Jessica_Merlin_Meep]

I just thought of something I wanted to mention. I am not an expert at this at all (since I can’t even solve my own situation) but I wanted to mention that I have noticed whenever I introduce the cats to anything new in terms of the introduction that there usually is an outburst.

For instance first time they saw each other through the baby gate there was an attack (well as much as there could be one with the gate there) but after that they were fine. Then first time they were loose together there were puffs and panics and chases. And then they are better. Then it was the first time they were out together for hours. One fell asleep and when she woke up and realized the other cat was loose with her she panicked, puffed and peed in fear while running away (even though the other cat was no where near her)

I’m wondering if you might look at Meep’s attack as just an outburst to the new situation of your other cat being out? Maybe as you normalize it he will calm down. I am not an expert though. Just basing it on my own observations with my cats.

Hmm that’s a good observation. Hadn’t thought of it that way. I actually had originally thought it was some form of non recognition aggression because they’ve been apart so long, but it’s weird because they get glimpses of each other when we switch them out and they smell each other all over the house. So I’m not sure if it was related to that or if my little one is still “mad” at the older cat. That’s a good way to put it though. In each part of our introduction Meep is always on high alert because he hears more or smells more or sees more.