Guilt About How It Was Done...

[Lizzybizzybee]

Hi everyone I'm talking into my phone I put my cat Lizzy down a few days ago and I'm having a really hard time with it she was almost 20 years old and she had kidney disease but she was eating sparingly less and less drinking water purring sleeping with me at night one day I just knew she was falling over a little bit still able to walk outside to go into the sunlight but I could tell her eyes were different I knew it was time so I was having euthanasia inside my house we sat in the chair I pet her called her all of the nicknames and we told stories for a few minutes then the knock on the door came and the doctor came in sort of abruptly and within a few minutes had a shot in her back I thought I would be able to hold her but he laid her on the table and I was looking into her eyes he shaved her leg and she looked into my eyes I was telling her I loved her and her pupils got very big and I didn't know when she passed and I feel like I should have known because she passed with her eyes open I feel horrible about how abrupt and fast it all happen I wish it could have been different and I just wanted to know if anyone has ever felt not felt but scene a cat die and look in their eyes and watch their pupils get big and their eyes were left open I just feel like this was done improperly I felt like I should have been holding her it's just making me really guilty and sad does anybody have Insight on this?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hello.
I'm sorry it happened in that manner - I wish for you that there had been more communication.

You gave your baby an enormous gift that allowed her to retain her dignity. She lived a long and wonderful life with you, and she is now where there is no pain and there are no struggles.

She would not want you to feel guilt. Maybe the thread below will provide a little help for you.

RIP Sweet darling Lizzy, you were a strong, loving kitty throughout your life.

Grieving

 

[Lizzybizzybee]

Hello.
I'm sorry it happened in that manner - I wish for you that there had been more communication.

You gave your baby an enormous gift that allowed her to retain her dignity. She lived a long and wonderful life with you, and she is now where there is no pain and there are no struggles.

She would not want you to feel guilt. Maybe the thread below will provide a little help for you.

RIP Sweet darling Lizzy, you were a strong, loving kitty throughout your life.

Grieving

Thank you so much!!!!! Your grieving post really helped. Sending lots of love.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

Hi everyone I'm talking into my phone I put my cat Lizzy down a few days ago and I'm having a really hard time with it she was almost 20 years old and she had kidney disease but she was eating sparingly less and less drinking water purring sleeping with me at night one day I just knew she was falling over a little bit still able to walk outside to go into the sunlight but I could tell her eyes were different I knew it was time so I was having euthanasia inside my house we sat in the chair I pet her called her all of the nicknames and we told stories for a few minutes then the knock on the door came and the doctor came in sort of abruptly and within a few minutes had a shot in her back I thought I would be able to hold her but he laid her on the table and I was looking into her eyes he shaved her leg and she looked into my eyes I was telling her I loved her and her pupils got very big and I didn't know when she passed and I feel like I should have known because she passed with her eyes open I feel horrible about how abrupt and fast it all happen I wish it could have been different and I just wanted to know if anyone has ever felt not felt but scene a cat die and look in their eyes and watch their pupils get big and their eyes were left open I just feel like this was done improperly I felt like I should have been holding her it's just making me really guilty and sad does anybody have Insight on this?

I'm so very sorry for your loss of your Lizzy - 20 years is a grand old lady.

I am glad you were able to do this at your home, to love her and repeat your nicknames for her, and have her where she was comfortable and where things were familiar. But my heart is breaking for you at how you describe the abrupt bedside manner of this vet.

Did he even try to explain the process, and what would be happening when he did this or that? The timing, and what to expect?

This is so heartbreaking, you losing your long-loved Lizzy

I remember when I had to put my last kitty to sleep four years ago. The eyes do dilate from certain drugs, and stay open... and it is so shocking -- even when you've been told what will happen. You still don't expect it, and the world you shared together seems to go black.

 

[di and bob]

The first injection was to relax her, to help with her confusion and pain. Although you were not physically holding her, she carried twenty years of love and care within her heart, she felt you at her side, she carried your love with her as she passed.
Twenty years is a long lifetime for a cat, you are so very fortunate to have her for so very long. And twenty years can be never enough, because no one ever wants to have their loved one leave them, no matter how many years. But somehow you found the strength in your love to stop the decline, the suffering. Because there was no cure, only a future full of pain. She was not living anymore, finding joy in being alive, she was existing, enduring. You allowed her to slip away with her dignity, not have one more moment of fear and suffering than was necessary.
The vet could have been a little more empathetic, more forthcoming with what was expected. I suspect he was trying to make it as painless and as short as possible. Really there is no perfect way. You don't want to make it a long drawn out process, but there could have been more explanation, more sympathy. There is absolutely no way to prepare your heart for something like this. To have them die a 'natural' death is heart breaking too, believe me, I would have chosen a vet at the time of my own sweet boys passing if I could have, every living creature fights hard against their own end.
Time is the only thing that helps to soften the sharp edges of grief. Don't make this death more important than the wonderful life she shared with you. To have had her share twenty years of your life's journey is a wonderous celebration. and I know in my heart, that just as you would want if you were the first to go, she wants you to go into the future carrying her love within you, feeling joy in life once more, and sending her thoughts of love and happiness to bring you both the comfort you so deserve. "Death cannot take that which never dies" and your love for each other never will......Take care of yourself, surround yourself with people who understand your pain. RIP precious Lizzy. You will never be forgotten, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Lizzie, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Darlin, you saved Lizzie from the stress of that last trip to a cold vet's office. You were with her every moment, by her side, and she knew that. That was the best "going away" gift she could have had. You sat with her, and eased her from this Journey into her Next Adventure with love and kindness.

And...we all die with our eyes open, did you know that? Unless we are sleeping, and then our eyes open when we go. Almost as if we are bidding this world farewell, even as we move eagerly into the next one. It is that one last, loving look before we start on our new Path.

Lizzie knew your love, and returned it. And love never dies, it only changes form and continues on, still Love. And all Paths lie so close that those who have gone on can still see us, and still send and feel the love we shared in life. Lizzie is with you still, loving you, thanking you for a lifetime of care, and a death with dignity.

 

[les26]

I am sorry for your loss, but you two had an amazingly long life and time together although 100 years would not be enough, but you did all that you could for her, no matter how the final moment comes it is difficult, we don't want to see it happen but when we do it is so very rough, but when we see our little friends again one day they will thank us and let us know that they were glad that we were there to send them on their journey.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I hope your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless......

 

[solomonar]

Leaving for the Home-Cloud at home, near the loving Human and in no pain. What else can be better? I can tell you horrible stories about how some cats made the Return. We always think that in some other way would have been better.

Eyes do not see anything. Open or close - it does not matter. When we dream, we see, although our eyes are closed. Sometime we cant see anything around although our eyes are open.

It is not poetry when I am writing that our Soul see not our eyes.

Lizzy was a Honorable Cat. She managed to stay with you 3-4 times longer than the species lifespan.
===

Once upon a time, a Mother-Cat was sitting on tail - as only cats cat do - on the Great Old River Bank. She was sad because she lost her kitties in a way I rather dont tell you.

The Mother-Cat did not eat or drink for days and eventually gave her last breath on the bank.

The Great Old River said to himself: "I am older than the Earth itself, I saw so many pains but I never saw a Creature suffering like this. I shall do something for her".

The Great Old River sent a rivulet to the furry body, engulfed it and revive it back. The Great Old River gave the Mother Cat water from himself, for the Cat to cry. And then the Mother-Cat cried, days after days.

When she felt better, she went back to village to her Women-Guardian. Woman was sad, she lost her babies to. But at that times the humans couldnt cry.

So the Mother Cat gave the cry to Mother Human her tears, to cry.

Since that time, Cats cant cry, but humans can. And humans cry and feel better, and all cats are happy for healing their beloved humans in this way.
===

Tears here and respect to honorable Lizzy the Cat and her strong Human.

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[di and bob]

What a beautiful story! The relationship between a cat and human is so special it defies description, you earn a cat's love and when you receive it, there is nothing more precious!

 

[denice]

I am so sorry. It was done properly, the eyes are open and the pupils get large. To hold a cat while they pass a catheter has to be put in the vein. With elderly cats in the last stage of illness this isn't always possible. It is also always very quick, the vet should've told you that. It is a large overdose of a barbituate, it is peaceful and painless, but it is very quick.