Growing a Human - Again!

[Lari]

I wouldn't want you to set a precedent but what if you told her bath first then__________(something special J likes)? Whether a movie/tv show, food/snack, toy/game, etc.

It's an idea! Try to get her to associate baths with good things. May have to invest in some chocolate for her.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Bath then Elmo or Chika (not sure if shes still on Sprout) would have worked here! I think the shower heads are around $20-30. We got a separate holster that suction cups to the wall so I could put it at any height. Including just hanging there spraying their legs at most. Just don’t let J get ahold of it!

 

[Lari]

I'm not sure where to post this, and I guess I've been putting it off or unsure if I should say anything. But I guess I should. And here is as good a place as any.

My mom died very suddenly and unexpectedly Monday morning. I'm really trying to keep busy and distracted. Please don't judge me harshly for still playing Wordle. I'm coping a lot better today than I have the past couple days, but obviously it hits me every once in a while. And feeling guilty when I'm not super sad and that I'm adjusting too fast to this new normal. Maybe there's something wrong with me or I'm disassociating as a defense mechanism idk.

I just realized that I forgot to post my picture on Friday, so I'll catch up on both this week.

...yeah.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

No judgement is warranted. Right now your body is flooded with different hormone levels preparing you for the baby soon. Combine that with the shock; well it doesn’t surprise me that you are reacting differently to this than how you think you would or should. I think theres an instinct for moms that just protects you by blocking you to other things for a time. It must just be an instinct to protect your baby. I know I was able to do things that I otherwise would have dreaded; like getting a bunch of moles removed from my face and neck a few weeks after delivery. It was no big deal.

I am very very sorry your are going through this. Grief is different for every person you lose and it comes in ways that just seem so random sometimes. Personally playing Wordle makes sense because you love it. I dealt with a traumatic sudden passing by reading. A lot. For a year. And it was the same 3 book serieses again and again. Playing a game you like seems very similar to me.

 

[maggiedemi]

My mom died very suddenly and unexpectedly Monday morning.

I'm so sorry! I don't remember you telling us about your mom? Did you? I remember you mentioning your mother in law. Were you close? Did she meet J? Regardless, it's a big loss. Hugs. Don't feel bad for playing wordle. When my dad had his heart attack and they gave him 48 hours to live, I pretty much kept to my regular schedule, it was comforting I guess.

 

[neely]

My sincere condolences on the unexpected passing of your mom. I'm sorry she won't be there when your second daughter is born but you can show her pictures and tell her stories as she grows up. My deepest regrets to your dad and siblings too. You will all need to support one another at this difficult time. Thinking of you, your husband and J.

 

[Lari]

I'm so sorry! I don't remember you telling us about your mom? Did you? I remember you mentioning your mother in law. Were you close? Did she meet J?

I mean, we weren't as close as some moms and daughters are. We didn't talk every day, but I saw her at least once a month and we would faceook message occasionally. She really loved J and was happy about the new baby. Maybe excited. She tended to be more reserved and didn't really express big emotions like I needed her to sometimes. But she was thoughtful and caring and overall a good mom, and it was way too soon for her to go.

 

[denice]

I am so sorry for your loss. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Everyone processes loss differently, there is no 'right' way to do it.

 

[artiemom]

Lari I am so sorry to hear of your loss. This is a big one.. and there is no 'correct' way to mourn.. You have experienced a huge shock, and are going through a flood of emotions; preparing for the new baby, dealing with J, and now this.
Do whatever you feel you need to do. It will take a while to process this, but you will. No one will judge you as to the 'correct' or "appropriate" behavior.. Just do what you need to do, for yourself.

((((Hugs))))... .

You WILL find your way through this.. It will take a while.

 

[AbbysMom]

Oh Lari. I'm so, so sorry.

Please don't judge me harshly for still playing Wordle.

There is no way that anyone that would do that has ever experienced an enormous loss. You need to do what helps you get through it and if Wordle helps, then that's what you do. I was here a lot both after my father died and after my brother died.

And feeling guilty when I'm not super sad and that I'm adjusting too fast to this new normal.

Unfortunately this is going to be a roller coaster and you are going to go through such a big range of emotions and at times none of them will make sense. Don't feel guilty about how you feel. I processed my father's death and my brother's death very differently because of things that were going on in my life at the time. I didn't feel right because I seemed not to be grieving my brother but there was so much else going on that I had to deal with. It'll be three years on Monday and I finally dealt with a lot of those emotions this past December. You'll deal with it on your own time.

 

[rubysmama]

Oh, Lari . I'm so sorry about your Mom. Condolences to you, and your family.

As for Wordle, absolutely no judgment, as you need something to focus on to give your mind a break from your grief and sadness.

 

[Tobermory]

It's so difficult when someone close to you dies. In addition to the overwhelming grief that comes in waves, there's the physical activity surrounding it. And the lack of activity. You scurry around dealing with things, and then you sit for long periods of time with nothing to do. You have to find ways for your mind to rest whether it's a book, hugging J or your husband or your cats, Wordle, or scanning through TCS.

I'm so sorry for your loss. We're all thinking of you, Lari .

 

[Lari]

I forgot to post again yesterday. Here's me playing catch up.

I appreciate all your thoughts and lack of judgment. I'm trying very hard to stay busy and distracted.

 

[artiemom]

OMGosh!! soon!!
As usual, just remember that we love you!

 

[verna davies]

Lari , I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. As said above, we all handle loss differently, there's no right way. Get through one day at a time and do what you have to, no-one will judge you. Look after yourself.

 

[Jem]

I just caught up with this thread and I'm so very sorry for your loss Lari . As others have mentioned, there are no right ways to grieve. We all process our feelings differently and you just have to deal with it in a way that allows you keep healthy and moving forward. No one can or should judge you for doing something that gives you any sense of enjoyment or normalcy to help you cope.
Hugs!!!

 

[susanm9006]

I am just catching up and read about your mom. I am so sorry. Even when there has been a long illness it is hard, but to lose her so suddenly and young, terrible.

 

[Furballsmom]

And feeling guilty when I'm not super sad and that I'm adjusting too fast to this new normal. Maybe there's something wrong with me or I'm disassociating as a defense mechanism idk.

There's not one thing wrong with you,I promise

 

[misty8723]

Lari , I'm so sorry about your mom. Losing a mom is never easy, and however you're able to process it is fine.

 

[mani]

Lari I've only just caught up. I'm so sorry.