Grouchy Cat Help

grumposaur

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Hey folks. Last October I adopted a cat from an individual on Pets4homes who needed to rehome their 1 year old British Longhair. The reason he gave was that she was causing his asthma to get a lot worse; he claimed she was very friendly and loving but this has been quite far from the truth. When I brought her home she hid, which I was expecting, but she soon came out to explore while I quietly sat in the room with her. However, it soon became apparent that she absolutely hated being touched. I'd wait for her to come to me and she began to let me stroke her but within a couple of strokes she would suddenly switch to full on aggressive and attack me. She's very nervous; if anyone comes to the house she will hide. It's very difficult to get her to play with anything. I've made slow progress - it's taken six months but she now lets me stroke her without attacking me and actually stood on my lap for three minutes the other day while I scratched her head.

She seems so on edge most of the time and I don't know what to do to make her more relaxed - she often has a really nervous look on her face. I've got feliway plug-ins all over the house and I don't touch her unless she comes to me asking for attention, but I've had a lot of cats and this is the first one I've had with obvious anxiety problems. It'd be a little bit less of a concern if it wasn't for the fact that as a BLH she really needs regular brushing sessions. I've been trying to get her used to brushing while giving her treats at the same time as going over with a brush and keeping the sessions short as possible, but she still gets really stressed out quite quickly. I don't want to put her through the additional stress of having to get shaved if she does end up with any serious mats.

I sometimes get quite angry towards the previous owner because I feel that in her last home there must have been some contributing factor to her nervousness. They had her from a kitten; I was provided with the original purchase papers and pedigree. There's not much I can do about that but I'm frustrated that they weren't honest with me, or perhaps even mistreated her in some way.

Regardless, if anyone has any suggestions about how I can make her feel happier I'd be really grateful.
 

mtgal

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Aug 2, 2015
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My best advice is patience. I have an adult cat of unknown age -- I suspect she is up there, probably around 15 or so -- that came to me as a rescue. She was extremely shy and nervous and hid for the first month. The only time she'd come out of hiding was at night and then only to crawl into bed with my Pit Bull or German Shepherd. If I made a sound, she'd go back into hiding. After a few months she would come into the kitchen if I ignored her, but if I moved in her direction, she'd hide again. She'd come out of hiding when the dogs were around, but if I tried to come close, she'd run away. After about a year she would sit in the same room with us, but not allow us to pet her or even sit near her. My two other cats pretty much ignored her and she them. It took almost two years before she'd allow me to pet her or come close. It's now been about five years and she is now very affectionate, but still frightens very easily. She's taught me patience, which is not my easiest trait! I think you just have to let them lead and take your time with them. Pushing them to accept affection or give it is a waste of energy and probably will set you back rather than help. She may never have been mistreated, perhaps the previous owner just never socialized her well. Or, perhaps she just needs space and time to adjust to your energy and her new environment. I'd just allow her space and let her tell you when she is ready for more attention. I know it can be frustrating, but there is no sense trying to rush her.
 
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