Grief and adoption

  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #41

sylorna

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
Messages
1,342
Purraise
162
Location
North York, Ontario
Oh my gosh Cindy! She's lovely! I love your story! I'm glad you went anyway! The look on her face is so full of adoration.
I'm waiting for my friend to go back home to talk to him about a drop off/pick up. Still having some nerves but I think its a good decision for us and I'm excited.
 

Karmakat2436

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 8, 2019
Messages
24
Purraise
89
well we went .. and we got a new baby ! what a sweet love she is ! not the one I went for.. long story.. I saw a cute calico I wanted. the shelter opens at noon. we headed up and got there at 12 :15. they changed policy (Covid) now you sign in , wait in a lobby , and a team member takes you through and " counsels 'you on all the cats to see who is a good fit. this older couple got there JUST before us ;they signed in first. they went just ahead of us. we had a chance to chat , and they mentioned they have 3 cats at home. so, they go thru and dont they take the ONE cat I was there to see !? I was livid !! I was so upset I wanted to leave. The rest of the cats are either OLD, SICK, or kittens ..none of which I wanted. the counselor comes for us next . told us the couple ahead of us took that cat , but we can look around. I said " for what ? that's the one I came for . might as well leave " .. My husband appealed to my calm side ..which I didn't have at that moment .. and said " what harm is there in looking around ? we WONT take any cat you dont want. if we dont find one today , we'll come back next week; deal ? but were here so.." I said " fine" .. huffy, but went along with it. .. he happens upon this kitty who looked so sad and lethargic. only 1 yr old . very mellow. I said " whats wrong with her ? .. the girl said nothing.. shes very sweet , just a little tired from being spayed yesterday. I said I dont remember seeing her on the website ? told me she wasnt; she had been a stray and pregnant . had to have the kittens , wean them and be fixed before she could be up for adoption. in fact she is JUST going up now. see all those kittens over there .. being adopted ? those are hers' .. I had to wonder if she felt sad all her babies were leaving ? Tom said " how about it ..? want to go in a meeting room for a minute? " I said ok .. so we went . I was still miffed about the calico, but went... we sat down ... and didnt this little girl .. Elin ... come over ...groggy , hop up in MY lap , curl up , go to sleep as nice as you please , and start purring !! looked up at me with those " love " eyes once , then back to sleep. My husband could tell the Ice was melting in me ... he said the the girl.. " we'll be taking her " ... I hadnt even said a word yet .. the girl said "is that right mam? I said " yes !" .. and a mountain of paperwork later , we were home with our new kitty. She is wonderful. we still miss Bella . Still tear up at the pictures and talking of her , but have NO regrets about our new kitty. The funny thing is .. the kitty was named Elin..that was Toms mothers name, and she and I were oil and water !! did NOT get along LOL .. I told him part of the deal is.. that NAME has to go ! he laughed and said OK ..so she is now :peanut " cuz she is a little peanut .. esp. compared to Bella !! I am happy we went.. as we were getting ready to leave a care giver came up to me and said " mam..are you lady upset cuz someone else got PK ?" (the calico) I said yes. He said ' did you adopt Elin ? "yes" ..he said " you got the better deal ; PK is an escape artist. if she aint hiding , she's sneaking out ! Elin ...she's an angel ! " .. I thought that was nice of him .. to make me feel better .. so it went beautifully. Today i got sympathy card from the vet , with Bella's paw print in it. A few tears, but I didn't have a melt down, so I know I am doing better, and peanut has brought some Joy back to this house for sure !! I will attach a pic but have not got many yet.. been so busy with all that and working ... she is a grey/ black tabby with bright green eyes .. lovley ! Hope you are doing well. Talk soon ! G night !
Oh my gosh I can totally understand how mad and disappointed you must have been…I would have been the same! But how wonderful how things turned out! I mean it’s like it was meant to be…and I believe things happen for a reason…this was it…Peanut is so adorable she looks a bit like my new kitty! And sounds like the other kitty might not have been a great fit anyways! I’m sorry about the sympathy card…I mean sorry it was so hard for you…I got two from both vets and I could barely look at them…I didn’t get any paw prints and sort of regret it now…I was just in so much grief I just didn’t care at the time…like I gave up on life and felt so defeated…as mom had just died now she was taken away too…it’s just all too much. I am glad you are doing better. And I’m sooooo happy that you decided to adopt another precious lil life and give her a good home…so many lil angels out there that need homes. My new kitty is not a cuddler at all, which I’m super sad about…but will keep her as she is a really sweet kitty…just very independent and I wish I would have looked into it more but she was so friendly at the shelter I thought she would be a real cuddler but nope never lays by me ever…lays in the perch or someplace in the hall way…she loves being outside…I have a really cat proof yard…so nothing can get in or out and she loves chasing bugs, and does circles chasing her tail and try’s to hid in the plants and honest this cat is beyond happy…how could I return her ? That would kill me…as she is not doing anything wrong…just not a cuddly cat…I really can’t afford two but maybe one day I’ll have to get one if my finances are better etc and hope they are cuddly…I really miss the companionship by my side when I read or watch tv….most times this one is in the house exploring or laying somewhere..only real time she is around me is in the kitchen meowing for food…anyways…I’m so happy for you! And the picture of Peanut is darling…what a sweet lil kitty🥰
 

CindyH66

Peanuts Mom
Adult Cat
Joined
Jul 31, 2021
Messages
101
Purraise
188
aw, Thank you. Maybe your kitty will change given time. Bella was stand offish at first. She warmed up later. Peanut has nightmares ! poor little thing .. she was sleeping .. started squawking ..in her sleep ! is quiet otherwise...then came over and curled up in my lap.. like wanted comfort ! poor thing . who KNOWS what she has been through ? She has warmed up to us , and even my brother. He called me at work and said " I love that kitty already ! we will spare NO expense to make her happy !" .he is the one whose kitty died of a blood clot a year before Bella. He has not wanted a kitty since, he was so traumatized by that. he comes and visits Peanut every day now. She is healing him, too. :) My upset yesterday ... I got all this junk mail .. perfectly intact. my sympathy card card came mangled , with a note stamped on front " damaged by post office " .. the corner torn ... UGH figures !! I opened it ... thankfully , the paw print was ok inside ! that can not be replaced. They do those stamps before cremation. They did it in Pink. I LOVE it. Leave it to the post office to spare all the crap ,and wreck my ONE piece of precious mail . Oh well... I got a few more pics of Peanut .. I'll add :) Hang in there dear lady ! have a good day !
 

Attachments

CindyH66

Peanuts Mom
Adult Cat
Joined
Jul 31, 2021
Messages
101
Purraise
188
Oh my gosh Cindy! She's lovely! I love your story! I'm glad you went anyway! The look on her face is so full of adoration.
I'm waiting for my friend to go back home to talk to him about a drop off/pick up. Still having some nerves but I think its a good decision for us and I'm excited.
cant wait for update !!
 

Karmakat2436

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 8, 2019
Messages
24
Purraise
89
aw, Thank you. Maybe your kitty will change given time. Bella was stand offish at first. She warmed up later. Peanut has nightmares ! poor little thing .. she was sleeping .. started squawking ..in her sleep ! is quiet otherwise...then came over and curled up in my lap.. like wanted comfort ! poor thing . who KNOWS what she has been through ? She has warmed up to us , and even my brother. He called me at work and said " I love that kitty already ! we will spare NO expense to make her happy !" .he is the one whose kitty died of a blood clot a year before Bella. He has not wanted a kitty since, he was so traumatized by that. he comes and visits Peanut every day now. She is healing him, too. :) My upset yesterday ... I got all this junk mail .. perfectly intact. my sympathy card card came mangled , with a note stamped on front " damaged by post office " .. the corner torn ... UGH figures !! I opened it ... thankfully , the paw print was ok inside ! that can not be replaced. They do those stamps before cremation. They did it in Pink. I LOVE it. Leave it to the post office to spare all the crap ,and wreck my ONE piece of precious mail . Oh well... I got a few more pics of Peanut .. I'll add :) Hang in there dear lady ! have a good day !
Yes, the one important thing…the post office had to screw up…ugh so frustrating….Peanut really does look like a sweetheart…i can tell By her eyes….such sweetness and goodness i side her…I am so glad you got her…I’m so glad that your brother too is enjoying Peanut and hopefully helps him heal more and he eventually gets another fur baby. Poor lil thing…sounds like she having nightmare…i mean who knows what she went through in her short lil life…but again soooooo happy she has found your family. I love to hear stories like this…I wish all kitties had good homes…her is a few pictures of My new kitty…which seems to have taken to my brother….oh well …she is still a sweethearat and I wouldnt have the heart to return Her..as she has not done a thing wrong…i mean she doesn’t know I want hugs and cuddles all day she just her own sweet lil personality having fun….she loves sleeping my my old kittys perch…she sleeps so quietly up there every night and loves playing in the grass and chasing her tail in circles…😂
 

Attachments

Lillyenn

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
72
Purraise
154
How did you choose her?
Oh if the question is for me, I knew I wanted a black female kitten, who was well socialized, and safe inside not just tossed outside to fend for themselves in the elements, and also a kitten who we don't have to drive hours for (my mom basically said that she can't drive more than 2 hours). So I looked at posts on Facebook for about a month until I found her.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #53

sylorna

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
Messages
1,342
Purraise
162
Location
North York, Ontario
Yes, the one important thing…the post office had to screw up…ugh so frustrating….Peanut really does look like a sweetheart…i can tell By her eyes….such sweetness and goodness i side her…I am so glad you got her…I’m so glad that your brother too is enjoying Peanut and hopefully helps him heal more and he eventually gets another fur baby. Poor lil thing…sounds like she having nightmare…i mean who knows what she went through in her short lil life…but again soooooo happy she has found your family. I love to hear stories like this…I wish all kitties had good homes…her is a few pictures of My new kitty…which seems to have taken to my brother….oh well …she is still a sweethearat and I wouldnt have the heart to return Her..as she has not done a thing wrong…i mean she doesn’t know I want hugs and cuddles all day she just her own sweet lil personality having fun….she loves sleeping my my old kittys perch…she sleeps so quietly up there every night and loves playing in the grass and chasing her tail in circles…😂
I've had a bit of luck trying to train cats to like laps better in the past. Takes a combo of treats, patience and perseverance. Basically you get them on your lap in the best way possible (depends on if kitty likes being picked up) and give them all kinds of treats and love and praise, and then do that whenever you can. Let them down if they really fight.
It doesn't make perfect lap cats but it does help things a bit, eventually they get comfortable up there and will come around more often for snuggles.
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
18,385
Purraise
47,419
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
Cats are very intelligent, sensitive -- maybe more sensitive than humans -- and emotional. It takes time for them to get to know people. If and when they know they can trust a person, they may become more affectionate in time. That's usually how it works. It can't be forced or bribed. Just let them take the time they need to get to know you. When they bond with you, you will know it is a true bond. They are very deep and they consider everything very carefully before deciding about relationships.
Yeah, the post office! I once sent a very special card to my mom for Mother's Day or her birthday -- she never received it. During the past few months with all the screwups in the USPS, they lost an important piece of mail and I've never received it. There have been a lot of incidents where people steal bags of mail and then just discard them. It's terrible!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #55

sylorna

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
Messages
1,342
Purraise
162
Location
North York, Ontario
Cats are very intelligent, sensitive -- maybe more sensitive than humans -- and emotional. It takes time for them to get to know people. If and when they know they can trust a person, they may become more affectionate in time. That's usually how it works. It can't be forced or bribed. Just let them take the time they need to get to know you. When they bond with you, you will know it is a true bond. They are very deep and they consider everything very carefully before deciding about relationships.
Yeah, the post office! I once sent a very special card to my mom for Mother's Day or her birthday -- she never received it. During the past few months with all the screwups in the USPS, they lost an important piece of mail and I've never received it. There have been a lot of incidents where people steal bags of mail and then just discard them. It's terrible!
I wasn't suggesting forcing or bribing, merely encouraging and making a positive association with the space. It's positive reinforcement, that's all, which is a pretty standard behavioral technique for all species. Was just saying it was worth a try and that it has been helpful in the past.
 

tarasgirl06

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2006
Messages
18,385
Purraise
47,419
Location
Glendale, CATifornia
I wasn't suggesting forcing or bribing, merely encouraging and making a positive association with the space. It's positive reinforcement, that's all, which is a pretty standard behavioral technique for all species. Was just saying it was worth a try and that it has been helpful in the past.
I wasn't criticizing. We all share our thoughts here at TCS.
 

CindyH66

Peanuts Mom
Adult Cat
Joined
Jul 31, 2021
Messages
101
Purraise
188
Yes, the one important thing…the post office had to screw up…ugh so frustrating….Peanut really does look like a sweetheart…i can tell By her eyes….such sweetness and goodness i side her…I am so glad you got her…I’m so glad that your brother too is enjoying Peanut and hopefully helps him heal more and he eventually gets another fur baby. Poor lil thing…sounds like she having nightmare…i mean who knows what she went through in her short lil life…but again soooooo happy she has found your family. I love to hear stories like this…I wish all kitties had good homes…her is a few pictures of My new kitty…which seems to have taken to my brother….oh well …she is still a sweethearat and I wouldnt have the heart to return Her..as she has not done a thing wrong…i mean she doesn’t know I want hugs and cuddles all day she just her own sweet lil personality having fun….she loves sleeping my my old kittys perch…she sleeps so quietly up there every night and loves playing in the grass and chasing her tail in circles…😂
aw, she is really cute ! My Bella never was the cuddly type. she loved in her own way ...
 

CindyH66

Peanuts Mom
Adult Cat
Joined
Jul 31, 2021
Messages
101
Purraise
188
So tonight poor Peanut .. I got her some toys .. she had no idea what to do with them !! aww... I had to show her who to play with them ! she was scared at first and really didn't to . I got a mouse , and it squeaks; I let her be , and went to lay on my bed and watch tv. I heard the squeaking in the kitchen LOL ..she was playing a little when no one was watching . I smiled and realized she just had to try it once I was gone . I dont think she has ever had a toy before !! I also called a 24 HR . vet line I have access to; I told them I think she is really hungry. I was feeding her a " normal" amount of food, but she is still lacating ( she has milk in her that has not yet dried up, even tho her kittens have all been adopted and she was spayed this week ) how much should I be feeding her ? My vet cant see her until 21st for her initial visit ( booked into Sept ..unless I have emergency) .. and I want to be sure I am not UNDER or OVER feeding her .. they told me to give her about 3X what I am giving her , for now , then the vet will put me on taper schedule . Lactating Queens have high calorie needs , so she IS hungry .. but once the milk dries up , and her hormones settle , that will decrease; Poor girl..was hungry ! would have been nice if the shelter gave me any info to go on. they hand you a bag of food .. a sample bag and coupon at that .. wish you well, and send you on your way. I had noticed she seemed really famished, and followed up on it myself. Sheese ! she seems better now that she is eating a little more... we'll figure this out , kiddo. Poor thing..what a life she must have had ! 20210805_045753.jpg
 
Top