Got a new cat now my cat is less affectionate


TCS Member
Thread starter
Dec 8, 2021
So i got my first cat, Snacks, in november 2019 we were pretty much inseparable i was home a lot we cuddled all the time when i was sleeping he followed me around the house and always wanted to be with me. then focus hit and i was home for literally 2 months straight. then life resumed and in june of 2020 i got another cat they adjusted after a couple weeks and now love each other. then i got my third cat in june of 2021 everyone is adjusted and they’re a big happy kitty family. well i almost feel like ever since i got my second cat, snacks just doesn’t seem like he loves me as much as he used to he comes close to me and wants to be pet semi frequently and gets distressed when i’m gone for a while. but he doesn’t come lay in my lap, sleep right next to me, or follow me around anymore like he used to. please help i’m so upset and i have no clue what to do.


TCS Member
Top Cat
Jun 1, 2017
I sympathize, as I also love snacks way too much!

Cats can become less affectionate with age, distraction of a friendly cat, or stress from an "enemy" cat. "Velcro cat" is something that is particularly susceptible to this, and at least for me, tends to fade to more reasonable levels as the cat ages. However, it is also true that cats sometimes just evolve their where and when desires, and you might be able to find/create new spots and situations where the cat likes affection. If you work at it a bit, I think you'll find that even if you no longer have a velcro cat, Snacks is still very affectionate.

P.S. I worked really really hard, and was able to (mostly) resist a comment about it being normal for "snacks" to not love someone back. We are talking about a cat . . . and the fact that I have a bag of chocolate covered pretzels with me at the desk is irrelevant!
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Rules my home with an iron paw
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Oct 16, 2015
North Carolina
I promise you, he does not love you one bit less, but he has other things that take some of his attention away from you. But, in the back of his mind, where he really lives, you live, also. Relax, and learn to enjoy the pleasure he takes from having other cats around! Love, real love, is not selfish, and I know that, while you miss the constant attention, knowing that all of your cats get along means a lot to you!