Goodbye sweet Eva...

[thanatos0042]

My Previous loss threads. I do use my posts here to keep a permanent index and I am very grateful to the site, the admins/mods, and the users who all contribute and share.

My Poor Sox...
Farewell My Friend...
Another Story To Add...

So this morning we had to put my sweet Eva to sleep. She had pneumonia and a serious GI tract issue (she had diarrhea almost all the time since she got food poisoning 18 months ago) and possibly other conditions they were unaware of at that moment. She was 11 and was a starving, abandoned kitten when she was recused and came to live with us. She never had the greatest health, but she was sweet, loving and she purred super loud and it sounded like it was slight broken in some manner I don't know how to describe.

Maybe you all can help alleviate some of my guilt here on this decision. She lost weight after the food poisoning and got thinner. But she acted just fine, but she had chronic diarrhea. We took her to the vet many times, but nothing treated it for long or very well, it always returned and the doctors couldn't explain it (we have a number of strange issues with our cats because they are rescues, ferals or strays). The last 5 days she dropped weight super rapidly, we even force-fed until her she started spitting food out and then took her into the vet who gave her shots and antibiotics. This morning she had the 1000 year stare and her joints were all stiff and I think she was in constant pain, she would make a soft moan anytime we touched her.

the vet said we could do aggressive antibiotics and oxygen and hospitalization, but it was no guarantee and with her chronic health issues and age and I have to guilty says, the $2000 bill for that was a consideration as well. On the other hand, she would have been there alone and without mommy and daddy and feeling horrible and not understanding and that broke my heart as well I think we made the right decision, for her, not for us. I don't think she had felt very well for a long time. I worry we gave up too easily or missed something that would have prevented this...and we did take her to multiple vets, but it was always the something, inconclusive.

The vet couldn't get the needle in her today so I didn't get to be with her when she passed and I feel very terrible about that. I am so sorry Eva. You were such a good, sweet girl. She would perch on me and my roommate and purr and purr. She would reach out and touch us if she wanted attention and use a claw if we didn't quickly respond. She'd sleep beside me at night. She loved playing with the little electric mouse that went in circles her the toy we bought. she loved her catnip and scratchers. I will miss her. I hope Morpheus, Sox, Mal and, Ashe are with her now. I love all of my companions who have passed and miss them and none are forgotten (and man are there a lot it seems...more than just the ones mentioned there). Did I say I will miss her? I will, terribly. Especially her broken purrs, following me around and meowing for food or luvs. Goodnight sweet Eva.

You can't see it so well, but she had brown eyes, they then turned green and eventually her right eye turned brown and left eye stayed green.

I am going to say thank you for reading, thank you for commenting and your support (and even if you think we should have more, I think we did as good as we could, but I'll take it)....even if it takes me a while to come back and comment again. Coming back to these threads are so emotionally heartbreaking for me. Those of you who put so much time and care into the site and responding, you all have my utmost respect. I am with you in spirit at least. Thanks for letting me ramble some of my sorrow and guilt out.

 

[Furballsmom]

she started spitting food out and then took her into the vet who gave her shots and antibiotics. This morning she had the 1000 year stare and her joints were all stiff and I think she was in constant pain, she would make a soft moan anytime we touched her.

Oh, honey baby!!

She didn't want any more poking, strangeness, discomfort..., and you listened. To be so compassionate and selfless is hard.

RIP sweetie, your struggles and difficulties are over. I love you even though I never had the chance to meet you

 

[betsygee]

I'm so sorry about Eva. I know it's easier said than done, but please try to not beat yourself up about your decisions. You did everything you could for her, and she knew how loved she was.

Rest in peace, sweet girl.

 

[movinintime]

I am so very sad to hear this about Eva. I am so happy she isn't suffering anymore. I know the decision is so hard but doing the right thing for your baby matters most. Remember, our time with them is to care for THEM not the other way around. It was a privilege to have her I'm sure and you WILL see her again at Rainbow Bridge guaranteed! Please do take care of you and May Baby Eva REST IN PEACE Forever pain-free.

 

[Tik cat's mum]

Please don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you made the right decision even though it was the hardest. R.I.P sweet Eva your pain free and in good company now.

 

[les26]

I am so sorry that you lost your little friend, another Tuxedo gone and that makes me and Sylvester a little more sadder than normal....but you did the right albeit hardest thing for her, she was in pain and not doing well, you did all that you could for her with what you had at the time, it was her time to move on even though you didn't want her to go and she probably didn't want to either, but she is fine now, just fine, and when you meet again one day she will say "thank you for taking such good care of me on Earth" and it will be tears of joy not sadness.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless....

 

[BellaGooch]

I am so sorry! Sending you love and hugs

 

[will2002]

"Every thing has it's season. A time to be born...and a time to die." There is just no way to work around this fact of life. You had to make a very, very difficult decision, and in my opinion, you made the right one.

I have had to make that same sad call many times in my 67 years, and it almost kills me every time it happens.

I'm positive Eva knows how much you love her now and forever more. She is pain free now, made new and happy, and always will be as close to you as a prayer or a memory. God bless ya!

 

[di and bob]

Your sweet little girl is at peace now because she has your love, and you will always carry hers in your heart. Your love was there with her at the end, it is spiritual, so no physical presence was needed. It takes a long time to heal a broken heart, time is the only thing that dulls the sharp edges of grief. She will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers, so send her those of gratitude for her sharing your life for a little while and giving you so much joy. There is enough sadness and darkness in this world, so just as you would want for her if you were the first to go, she wants for you to go on with your life and seek its joys and happiness. She is a beautiful part of your past, her memories will eventually bring you comfort instead of tears.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both today, I know how much this hurts, bless you for taking care of her and giving her what she wanted the most in this world, someone to love......RIP sweet Eva. You will never be forgotten, you will have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[thanatos0042]

Again, thank you all for your kind and sweet words, and for the assurance, I made the right decision and one you all would likely have made too.

I have lost many companions through the years and as others here have said, it never gets easy and you always doubt your actions. I suppose that is how it should be when you are one deciding the fate of another life, especially an innocent one.

I know it will get better and your thoughts and prayers for us both provide comfort. Some of my other companions have stepped up too, to try and provide comfort as well...and some of them miss her as well I am noticing. We will make it through and hopefully reunite one some future night.

thank you.

 

[solomonar]

Cats are so fragile! Despite the common thinking to cats as "ultimate survivors" that is only true for the Wilderness.

Time to time, some Souls like You do a big big Good to cats - they care little fluffy Raptors to the time they get their wings.

A big Soul experiences big regrets, no doubt. But big Souls are not supposed to be perfect, in their own eyes. In fact they are perfect, in the eyes of their fluffy friends. Cats do understand life much better they we do, and even in the moments we think we did not our best, cats know we did it actually.

Who are we to judge ourselves? We do what we can do.

We never decide, we are just the Arm of the Nature, and when the Time comes, there is a Command to us to act, that we cant deny.

My heart goes with You and my tears to Eva.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Eva, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

You did everything possible. That is all ANYONE can do. You gave her a life filled with love, and love her still. And now, from That Place Where All Things Are Known, she sends her love, translated and purified into Love, back to you again. She knows how much you wanted to be physically with her at the end. She does. She also knows that your heart and soul WERE with her, every step of the way on her journey from This Adventure to her Next Great Adventure.

 

[thanatos0042]

thank you two much much for your kind and gentle words. You all always leave me without anything really great to say back...but thank you.