Goodbye My Sweet Peanut

[baxtersmom]

In May I noticed that my sweet 16 1/2 year old cat, Peanut, had a swollen spot under her left eye. I was told it was an abscessed tooth and she was put on antibiotics for two weeks. Unfortunately the antibiotics didn't work and it was soon discovered that she had mouth cancer. As it progressed she began to sleep more and more. I kept her bed, with her super soft blanket, in the living room so I could keep an eye on her all the time. Soon I started having to feed her by hand. To get her to drink I had to put a little bit of milk into her water so she would think it was milk. As the days went by she slept pretty much all the time, only getting up to use the bathroom. Eventually she wouldn't even get out of her bed to eat. She would just lay in her bed and I'd feed her. She slept soundly, stretched out in her bed and never showed any pain. I knew that eventually I would have to take her to be put down once she started showing pain. I hated the idea of putting her in a crate and taking her to the vet as she absolutely hated the crate and was terrified of car rides. I wanted her last days to be filled with as much love as possible and they were. Yesterday, Saturday, she slept peacefully all day. About 9pm she started getting restless and couldn't seem to get comfortable. She hadn't eaten very much at all all day Friday and only licked a tiny bit of food on Saturday. When she started getting restless I tried to get her to eat and she threw up. She started having trouble standing. I took her to her litter box thinking she might have to go but she just fell over on her side in the litter box and cried loudly. I quickly picked her up and loved on her and brought her back to her soft bed. I could tell at that point that she was slipping away. We turned the TV off and lowered the lights and I got my pillow and laid down on the floor next to her. I stroked her fur and whispered to her how much she was loved and what a wonderful kitty she had been. Her breathing got very labored and fast. A few times she tried to stand and would fall over and cry but I would quickly calm her down. Soon she wasn't able to hold her head up so I held it in my hand. The pads of her feet had gotten very cold. At the end she had what seemed like a couple of small seizures and then she stopped breathing. I held her in my arms for a couple more hours, not wanting to put her down. From the time she started getting restless until the time she passed was less than 4 hours. This morning my husband dug her a grave next to her Mommy (who passed away 3 weeks ago from old age) and we buried her. She was born in my son's closet 16 1/2 years ago and she's going to be missed so very much. Rest in peace my sweet Peanut and run free and happy at the Rainbow Bridge with your Mommy. The first picture was from earlier in the day yesterday as she slept peacefully. The second was from right after she passed away.

 

[Furballsmom]

Peanut baby sweetheart, I didn't know you but loved you anyway.

RIP darling cat, your joy in life and your grace and strength are with you once again.

 

[di and bob]

Beautiful, precious Peanut! I cried so much during your post, it reminded me so much of when my own sweet Burt passed. The pain will be with you forever, but having her die at home, in her own well loved space, in the arms of those who loved her so very much, was exactly as she wanted and needed. You did everything so well, you were there for her when she needed you the most, gave her what she wanted and needed. Well done, and you will be blessed for it.
The love you shared over all those years built an incredibly strong bond that will tie your souls together for eternity. She will be a part of you forever. she shared your life's journey for a while and now must answer a call to follow a different path, but it will parallel your own and she will continue to be near for the rest of your life.
To be present at her death leaves a mark on your heart. Don't let that death have more importance in your memories than the wonderful life she shared with you. That life was, and always will be, infinitely more important. Hold on to all those precious memories of happier times to bring comfort to your grieving heart.
"Death cannot take that which never dies" Your love is eternal because it is spiritual. Send that sweet girl thoughts of love and happiness, just as you would want for her to go and and seek happiness and joy in living once more if you were the first to go, so she wants for the ones she loves so very much too. Let your love for her keep her memory alive, keep it growing and blooming with the sunshine that comes from seeking happiness and joy in the life you are living. Not hidden away under the darkness of grief and tears.
She sounds like a true princess warrior, that fought the fight until the end, until she was exhausted and could fight no more. A sweetheart that will be forever missed but never forgotten. Take care, my heart goes out to you, i know how much this hurts. Let time heal the wound in your soul, but know it always leaves a scar..... RIP beautiful Peanut. You will ALWAYS have a secure place in loving hearts. May your journey to the Rainbow Bridge be swift, may the good Lord be there to bless and keep you. Until you meet again!

 

[les26]

Oh man, I can hardly see the keyboard to type that I am so sorry that you lost little Peanut, but she had a wonderful life with you right up until the very end, what a touching story this was. 16.5 years is a good life span, but no amount of time is never enough, but to have her and her mother for so long was just a blessing, and having her pass away in your loving arms and presence is just another blessing. I am sorry that you lost her but she went out with love for sure....

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you.....

 

[baxtersmom]

Thank you all for your sweet words. I'll be glad when the memories of her passing aren't so strong and I can concentrate more on her sweet life. I can't believe how fast that nasty cancer took her. It feels so strange to wake up and not have to fix her food and sit and feed her by hand the way I've been doing for the past several weeks. The spot on the floor where her bed was is so empty. I know time will make it easier and writing about it definitely helped my heart. Thank you for being here and letting me tell her story.

 

[betsygee]

I'm so sorry to read about your little girl's passing. It isn't anything we can prepare for, even when we know it's coming.

Peanut had as a good an ending as any cat could hope for, being held by someone who loved her so much. RIP, sweetheart.

 

[PMousse]

So sorry for your loss, baxtersmom . You made sweet Peanut's last moments on earth as peaceful and comfortable as any cat could ask for, and she knew that she was deeply loved 'till the very end.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Peanut, dream you deep. You walk in your mama's heart forever.

What a blessing for Peanut, to have you there, your hands gentle on her, as she took the final steps in This Journey, and the first ones on her next Great Adventure! Love does not die, you know, it only changes form and continues on, still Love. Love abides. Although you had to help Peanut shrug off her heavy coat of flesh and fur that could no longer support that loving heart and sweet spirit, and although you weep now, remember this...Peanut now dances on moon beams, free and filled with joy and life. She dances in a place where time has no meaning, happy, knowing that someday in the fullness of time, the two of you will dance together again.