Goodbye My Baby

[mydarlingsamson]

hi,
i must admit i signed up here cause i want to talk to someone.
my baby cat just passed away 1 hr and a half ago. right now his rigid body is still in my arms as i am sitting here waiting for the cremator to come pick him up.

we didnt had long. i rescued him five days ago. he was in the middle of a main road and me and my brother we almost ran him over. i thought it was a rag. i went down the car to check on him and saw that his eyes hve problem, he was quite small, just barely 3 weeks old. his eyes was glued shut from all the discharge from his eyes.

brought him to vet asap and his eyes got better with the eyedrops. however he is not eating and i been trying hard to feed him.

i feel like because i am inexperienced in caring for him, thats why he died. i have 3 other cats but i have never taken care of such a young cat before. i really feel like my inexperience in taking care of such a young cat is what kills him.

on the 3rd day he was able to follow me around the kitchen looking good.... and now two days later, fading kitten syndrome (i didnt even realized this evem exist) kills him. its my fault i didnt keep him warm enough isnt it? its my fault i didnt feed him enough isnt it?

i feel like i didnt do enough for him. i could have save him but i ended up killing him instead. my poor baby....

i am so sorry... i am probably talking nonsense right now but idk what to do with myself as i wait for the cremator to come... it feels so final... hes still in my arms... i wish this is a dream

 

[mydarlingsamson]

He's gone... really is gone.. i still cant bear to start packing up his things. i am still clutching the blanket that he used...

its amazing how invested I am in 5 short days. my dad tells me to get over it. what am i crying for he says. I can't help it. I just feel like I didnt do enough....

I tried cuddling my fav boy for comfort, but he is not in cuddling mood apparently. i thought cats can sense these things? sigh...

Sorry, I am not dealing with this very well... first time I am experiencing this and I dont really know if I deserve to grieve for him...

The cremator will return Samson to me the day after tomorrow. I asked for him to be housed in a Christian urn so i can have my own memorial for him at home.

 

[di and bob]

You didn't fail at all, you did nothing wrong at all. You tried, you gave him love and that is what is the most important. It was meant to be, he desperately needed help and you did what you could. But sometimes, even with the best of care, it is not meant to be. He was most likely alone because he was rejected, his own mother most likely knew something was wrong. Nature is cruel. Life is fragile. You grieve now because you formed a connection with his tiny soul. A bond that can never be taken from you. It hurts so bad right now to have him go because you wanted to give him a future, not have it end up this way.
I have had kittens die in my arms. Even with an experienced vets help they did not make it, and I still grieve, I still cry when I think of their precious little faces from years ago. Grieving brings on guilt and all those should haves, could haves, but they change nothing and you can't have guilt when you had no intent to do harm. Everything you did you did out of love, and that can't be wrong.
The new path he follows will always be near your own, because you gave him what he wanted the most in his too short life, love and a home. Try to celebrate knowing him, that you gave him his world, not dwell on the end that came way too soon. It's hard, but I know for certain he would never want you to be sad because of him, because that is what love is, only wanting happiness for the one you give your heart to. Just as you would want for him if you were the first to go.
Cry now, because you need to, but then try to think of happier times, don't let his death become more important than his life.
My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers today. Take care and come back to talk whenever you need to......RIP precious Samson. You will never be forgotten and will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again. Good night, sleep tight, tiny angel!

 

[mydarlingsamson]

You didn't fail at all, you did nothing wrong at all. You tried, you gave him love and that is what is the most important. It was meant to be, he desperately needed help and you did what you could. But sometimes, even with the best of care, it is not meant to be. He was most likely alone because he was rejected, his own mother most likely knew something was wrong. Nature is cruel. Life is fragile. You grieve now because you formed a connection with his tiny soul. A bond that can never be taken from you. It hurts so bad right now to have him go because you wanted to give him a future, not have it end up this way.
I have had kittens die in my arms. Even with an experienced vets help they did not make it, and I still grieve, I still cry when I think of their precious little faces from years ago. Grieving brings on guilt and all those should haves, could haves, but they change nothing and you can't have guilt when you had no intent to do harm. Everything you did you did out of love, and that can't be wrong.
The new path he follows will always be near your own, because you gave him what he wanted the most in his too short life, love and a home. Try to celebrate knowing him, that you gave him his world, not dwell on the end that came way too soon. It's hard, but I know for certain he would never want you to be sad because of him, because that is what love is, only wanting happiness for the one you give your heart to. Just as you would want for him if you were the first to go.
Cry now, because you need to, but then try to think of happier times, don't let his death become more important than his life.
My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers today. Take care and come back to talk whenever you need to......RIP precious Samson. You will never be forgotten and will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again. Good night, sleep tight, tiny angel!

Thank you. Its almost 11 hours now since Samson passed, I have finally stopped crying for now. I will try to focus on happy times with him but everytime i think of his tiny face I started to feel emotional again.

I miss him badly right now. I am even sniffing his blanket for his smell...is that werid...

I am glad i joined and read your message. Theres no one around that can understand why i am grieving so much for a cat that I barely had.

Thank you.

 

[les26]

You didn't fail him my friend, in fact it was the opposite, you showed him LOVE and CARE when others did not, you let him experience love and that someone had compassion here in his final time on Earth, you did NOTHING wrong, you cared and tried and that was more than most people would have done so you should be praised! But yes, it is so so heartbreaking to see, you wanted to save him and have him live and grow up strong but he is strong now, no pain or problems, just fine but in a different phase of his life, he is fine now. I am so sorry this happened to you but you did a BEAUTIFUL thing for him....

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you for what you did for him.....

 

[betsygee]

You didn't fail him at all. He was dying out in the road and you saved him. It wasn't meant for the poor little guy to live a long life, but he got to feel so much love and caring while he was here. Please remember that.

RIP, little boy.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

You showed Samson more love than he ever knew. It doesn't matter that it was a short time - it is the most love he ever knew. The circumstances in which you found him were dire. You did everything humanly possible to save him. No, it is not 'weird' to grow attached so quickly. I am sure Samson felt it too, the love. I know he did. You will be reunited one day, but for now, please know you filled his last days with love and kindness.

 

[mightyboosh]

You haven't failed, you succeeded in giving Samson more happiness than he probably ever knew, as said above. I'm very sad for you and please believe that you are respected by us on here for giving him a loving home even if it was only for a few days.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, tiny Samson, dream you deep. Your short life had meaning, and you walk in someone's heart forever.

No, you did not fail. Everything that Samson knew of love and kindness, he knew because of you. Samson was dying on a road, and you brought him in and fought for him. What he knew of joy and happiness and fun, you taught him. Because of you, he did not die alone, uncared for, but with gentle hands to hold him, and a a soft voice whispering of love. This is not failure, this is triumph. You love him, and he loves you. Not "loved" but "love." Love never, ever dies. Love changes form and continues on, still Love. Love abides, and Samson will be with you always.

 

[mydarlingsamson]

Thank you all so much for your messages. I am really touched and i feel comforted by them.

i woke up today and first thing in my mind after opening my eyes was that I've got to check on him...sigh...

its been raining all day yesterday right after i handed over Samson to the cremator and even right now too, it is still raining...after successive hot days. I comfort myself by thinking that even heaven is crying for him... i am being melo I know...

the rain does gets me worried about Samson's siblings... i wonder now how many are still out there. I feel like I should go back to that area and search, though honestly I don't even know where to begin, he was on a main traffic road, and it still didnt make any sense how he got there in that state... I just feel like I owe it to him to make things right but also I'm afraid if I found more and they die as well, I'll probably have a mental breakdown...

 

[vyger]

Thank you all so much for your messages. I am really touched and i feel comforted by them.

i woke up today and first thing in my mind after opening my eyes was that I've got to check on him...sigh...

its been raining all day yesterday right after i handed over Samson to the cremator and even right now too, it is still raining...after successive hot days. I comfort myself by thinking that even heaven is crying for him... i am being melo I know...

the rain does gets me worried about Samson's siblings... i wonder now how many are still out there. I feel like I should go back to that area and search, though honestly I don't even know where to begin, he was on a main traffic road, and it still didnt make any sense how he got there in that state... I just feel like I owe it to him to make things right but also I'm afraid if I found more and they die as well, I'll probably have a mental breakdown...

I am trying to think of a gentle way of saying this but there really isn't. Your kitten might have been in the road because someone dumped it there. There are a lot of pretty awful people who think nothing of throwing kittens into the ditch along a road. States actually have laws against doing it, it is illegal. if no one ever did it they would not have to make laws against it. So it is possible that this kitten was not abandoned by its mother but rather taken from her and left to die. I have had first hand experience with this.
A number of years ago a friend was over helping me work on a car. Both of us heard kittens crying and he asked if I had any new ones that might be hidden somewhere. I didn't so we went looking. We found these 2 little kittens huddled together in the middle of the highway crying their loudest for help. They were not feral, did not run from us and were not afraid of us. We stood in the road and scooped them up. They were shaking and crying. We looked to see if there was a mom anywhere nearby but there was none. We figured they were dumped by someone and left to get run over. We had no idea how long they had been there. I took both of them in and took care of them. But one was pretty week and after a few days died. It's sister was stronger and she recovered. She had some problems though, she never got to be her full size but was stunted for some reason. She never grew into her paws, she had full size paws but was a half size cat. Anyway she lived with use for a lot of years until she quietly died one night. So yes people can be pretty bad and throw things away like kittens, as if they were just trash. There may not be anymore for you to rescue, he might have been the only one, left by some cruel person who didn't want him.

 

[mydarlingsamson]

I am trying to think of a gentle way of saying this but there really isn't. Your kitten might have been in the road because someone dumped it there. There are a lot of pretty awful people who think nothing of throwing kittens into the ditch along a road. States actually have laws against doing it, it is illegal. if no one ever did it they would not have to make laws against it. So it is possible that this kitten was not abandoned by its mother but rather taken from her and left to die. I have had first hand experience with this.
A number of years ago a friend was over helping me work on a car. Both of us heard kittens crying and he asked if I had any new ones that might be hidden somewhere. I didn't so we went looking. We found these 2 little kittens huddled together in the middle of the highway crying their loudest for help. They were not feral, did not run from us and were not afraid of us. We stood in the road and scooped them up. They were shaking and crying. We looked to see if there was a mom anywhere nearby but there was none. We figured they were dumped by someone and left to get run over. We had no idea how long they had been there. I took both of them in and took care of them. But one was pretty week and after a few days died. It's sister was stronger and she recovered. She had some problems though, she never got to be her full size but was stunted for some reason. She never grew into her paws, she had full size paws but was a half size cat. Anyway she lived with use for a lot of years until she quietly died one night. So yes people can be pretty bad and throw things away like kittens, as if they were just trash. There may not be anymore for you to rescue, he might have been the only one, left by some cruel person who didn't want him.

Sigh, I know too well about abandoned animals, the cruelty... I live in Malaysia, and the state of feral animals here are really pitiful. All of my cats were rescued (including Samson, I have 4 cats)... I really wish I can take in every single cats I saw, unfortunately, that is not financially possible, even the NGOs/charities/shelter here are like so overload and even the kindest shelter here, the conditions aren't very good imho, but at least they really try their best to help the animals. If you see the conditions of these shelters (the best we've got), your heart will cry out.

There's a lot of people that disregard these animals as lives. A lot of the pets, after the honeymoon period is over, they are just dumped if they can't find people to adopt or shelter to take them... Some don't even bother to rehome them, they just dump them...granted not all people here are like that, pet owning responsibility awareness have improved greatly. But I wish more people adopt instead of chasing after "designer breeds"...Like, I would so love to have a scottish fold, but i absolutely would not buy one here, its probably from some horrible mill (we had a very huge case here last year of a huge exclusive pet shop selling only expensive breeds that all the cats they sold for thousands of malaysian ringgit all dies just after weeks and also they were accused of abuse. I had only been inside once out of curiosity and the cats, as beautiful as they are, does not look happy at all and a lot of them are huge, like maine coons and locked for display inside tiny glass cage where they can barely turn)

The thought also crossed my mind that my baby was dumped, he followed me so trustingly, purr when i stroke his chin, and meow lovingly when i stroke his head. Such a pure and innocent baby. People that are able to do this to such an innocent thing are really low

 

[Mamanyt1953]

People that are able to do this to such an innocent thing are really low

They are, but then people like you give me hope. Should you find another little one like that at any time, just post here. We have a lot of people who are very, very good at helping save kittens who might not otherwise make it. You did so very well with what you knew for Samson, and we would be more than happy to help you if you need it again.

 

[mydarlingsamson]

They are, but then people like you give me hope. Should you find another little one like that at any time, just post here. We have a lot of people who are very, very good at helping save kittens who might not otherwise make it. You did so very well with what you knew for Samson, and we would be more than happy to help you if you need it again.

I definitely will.

I don't know why the photos I attached comes out sideways, but my baby is home forever at last.

 

[Father of furbabies]

Prayer for the suddenly departed.

Heavenly Father we know and believe that our times are in Your hands, but Lord it’s so often such a shock to us when a dear loved one meets with a sudden or unexpected death – through an accident or perhaps due to some unforeseen tragedy, which takes the life of someone they loved – long before it would be expected.

Lord, we bring before You today those who are having to go through such a tragic loss and pray that You would be very close to each one that is in mourning today over such a loss – and are perhaps confused or even angry that such a devastating occurrence has overtaken them – without any apparent warning.

You are the God of all comfort Who comforts us in time of need and we pray that for those that are facing such a difficult trial today. Uphold them we pray, and ask that You draw very close to them … raise up we pray, the right people to minister to them and to be a genuine comfort and support at this time of tragedy and grief.

Lord, we don’t understand why our loved ones should suddenly be removed from us through a sudden, unexpected death – but Lord we trust You to soothe away the hurt in time – for shall not the God of all the earth do right…. In Jesus name, we pray,

Amen.

 

[mydarlingsamson]

Amen.

(Thank you so much, I deeply appreciate it)

 

[Tabbytastic]

Thank you. Its almost 11 hours now since Samson passed, I have finally stopped crying for now. I will try to focus on happy times with him but everytime i think of his tiny face I started to feel emotional again.

I miss him badly right now. I am even sniffing his blanket for his smell...is that werid...

I am glad i joined and read your message. Theres no one around that can understand why i am grieving so much for a cat that I barely had.

Thank you.

I’m so sad for you. You are a wonderful person and gave Samson the love he so deserved. I will be thinking of you in the weeks ahead. It is not weird that you sniff his blanket for his smell. I do exactly the same with my boys blanket for comfort.

Xx

 

[solomonar]

We cry because we love. If I would be so talented to make a sculpture of the Deity of Love, I would place a tear in her eye.

Nature is always right. If the kitty is now on her cloud, I am sure there is a perfect reason for the Nature to send her back there.

It could be a miserable life that Nature avoided for the kitty, it could be the reason to make us better Humans, I am not the one to know the reasons, for nobody can.

To the time we all see this world fading, I may say that we can make a better world by simply telling the others that any Creature has a Soul and any Creature loves us. There is also time to fight - say by pushing for better laws or by doing fundraising or by volunteering.

+++

There is a story about a great man getting asleep in the morning he was expected to go to the praying place.

The Big Bad Deity woke Him up. He said "Why you woke me up? You know I will go and prey against you, the Evil?" And the Big Bad Deity answered "If You will not attend the prayer, you will cry. And one tear in such circumstances worth more than 1000 words of pray".

Head bow here. Keep loving.

 

[Royalty]

hi,
i must admit i signed up here cause i want to talk to someone.
my baby cat just passed away 1 hr and a half ago. right now his rigid body is still in my arms as i am sitting here waiting for the cremator to come pick him up.

we didnt had long. i rescued him five days ago. he was in the middle of a main road and me and my brother we almost ran him over. i thought it was a rag. i went down the car to check on him and saw that his eyes hve problem, he was quite small, just barely 3 weeks old. his eyes was glued shut from all the discharge from his eyes.

brought him to vet asap and his eyes got better with the eyedrops. however he is not eating and i been trying hard to feed him.

i feel like because i am inexperienced in caring for him, thats why he died. i have 3 other cats but i have never taken care of such a young cat before. i really feel like my inexperience in taking care of such a young cat is what kills him.

on the 3rd day he was able to follow me around the kitchen looking good.... and now two days later, fading kitten syndrome (i didnt even realized this evem exist) kills him. its my fault i didnt keep him warm enough isnt it? its my fault i didnt feed him enough isnt it?

i feel like i didnt do enough for him. i could have save him but i ended up killing him instead. my poor baby....

i am so sorry... i am probably talking nonsense right now but idk what to do with myself as i wait for the cremator to come... it feels so final... hes still in my arms... i wish this is a dream

You did a fantastic job rescuing him. You are a lovely person, you took him to the vet as soon as you could you did your absolute best for him you couldn't have done anymore he was following you around your kitchen you gave him a chance in life. No nothing is your fault please please believe that, he passed away knowing he was loved by you. You should be so very proud of yourself take care xx