Giving up stray cat after socializing to rescue

[EnelradSedir70]

Hi all, I’m in full panic mode as the kitty (Kovy) I’ve been caring for over the past ten months to socialize is going to a rescue today. I have 5 cats of my own, and 2 still from a colony I used to help out with. In 2017 I trapped all 5 remaining colony cats and brought them inside my home as I could not continue the work. I had ten cats and a dog at the time. My dog passed over shortly after and I got three of the 5 into a suitable rescue. But two (the 2 I still have) needed socializing. One has made a lot of progress but still very skittish. And the other well, once Kovy came, I had to move her to my moms house so I could focus on Kovy and have the room. She’s now forgotten who I am.

Kovy: in April of last year a colleague found Kovy outside at her colony dirty and sick. She couldn’t do much with him other than TNR him as she too has kept too many cats and has no room). So I volunteered thinking he must be a stray tame cat otherwise he wouldn’t be so dirty. Well, he wasn’t tame, probably semi-social.

I did all the usual tricks, starting in spare bathroom, moved into spare room with baby gates up in door frame so he could see out. Put a large dog kennel in room on top of a folding table for easier access. Used want toy handle to pet with first and feed baby food. Then, took down kennel and table so he had whole room. Introduced a social box (smaller kennel) and coaxed him into it so he could come out into community area where my cats are and see them safely. Played cat videos while in it and used long gloves to pet him with. Calming spray, Bonita flakes for treats and on.

Eventually he was allowed into other rooms and hallway and even around some of my friendly cats in person

We even hired a vet tech to come over and work with him scruffing him firmly but gently and putting on laps. Treating him, just repeating it over and over.

He’s made really great progress with us to the point of following us around and acting like a normal domestic cat- but when new people come over he hides, or if in his room, will try to hunker down. I’m sure this is cuz he only had my mom and me primarily socializing him for the past ten months.

At my house now he’s nearly fully integrated and gets along with most of my cats but not all, all the time. But every room has a cat in it at night and I know that isn’t fair to any of them either.

The goal of course was never to keep him even though every day I was getting more attached to this little fun guy with so much character! I’d have 8 if I did and I already have one at my mom’s and two others I have to put into rooms at night. But the attachment and bond with Kovy is real and my heart is hurting. I’m afraid for him. I’m worried he won’t understand. I’m worried he’ll regress. I’m worried he won’t be wanted because he stil is shy and not fully handleable.

The rescue has assured us they are a sanctuary and will not euthanize for behavior issues. They say they even have a few ferals. If he scratches it’s usually no biggie, if he bites they give them a time out for a few days. I asked that I be contacted if he isn’t thriving or regresses so I re-adopt him.

I guess I’m just looking for some word of encouragement, support, and that I’m doing the right thing.

 

[EnelradSedir70]

I was hoping to get some thoughts from others who had to go through this...please anyone?

 

[Babypaws]

I have 12 indoor cats and caring for a spayed feral cat on our porch until I can get her more comfortable with Me, then the plan is getting her to vet for shots so I can bring her in the house. If I was in your situation I really don’t think I could give her to a shelter. I had one cat who for a number of reasons that I had to give up but I was able to find a good home for her which was such a relie.
I hope Koch will be able to readjust and find a good home.

 

[EnelradSedir70]

Thanks Babypaws. I know it’s all personal and what one can manage/handle. My pet insurance alone is nearly 300 a month and that doesn’t cover prevention issues and only 80% of illnesses. Unfortunately my 7 don’t all get along, having to separate two at night. One of my 7 has epilepsy diagnosed in Dec and I am not sure how the extra presence is impacting her. She also has a mouth problem which requires her to be put under anesthesia tomorrow to look at. It may be oral cancer. It may not be. She’s going to have to stay in a room all week so I can get her pain meds properly (she’s semi-social). So that takes up a room. Two of ny younger cats pick on her as it is. One of my oldest has cystitis and he gets that from stress. Bottom line, I didn’t take Kovy in planning on to keep him. I had hoped he was just a friendly stray in the beginning, far from it. I guess the best I can hope for is that this sanctuary (it’s really very nice) either turns him away today cuz he’s too scared and not handleable enough, or he is he’s still there after I know more about Muni in the next week or two; if she has oral cancer (I’m not gonna let her suffer), and I’ll go readopt him.

 

[Babypaws]

My prayers are with you and Muni. It’s very, very tough when you get attached to an animal....you question yourself if you’re doing the right thing or not. My house is divided in half, six on one side, six on the other. But I do let 4 come on the other side during the day to mingle. A few don’t get along either.
please let us know how things turn out.

 

[minish]

I think it's wonderful what you have done so far. I can't imagine fostering a single cat with my princess Minish. Kovy blossomed under your care and if you think it's time to let him go it's the correct thing to do. You will be informed when he's at the rescue so in case it doesn't work out, you have the option to reclaim him.
And since the pandemic is prolonged, more people adopt in need of company. And so what Kovy is shy? I raised Minish from kittenhood and she doesn't stay on a lap more than 5 seconds. It's a perfect match for people who have respect for others' boundaries and have the desire to put time in a relationship with a beautiful cat who's gone through some hard times..

 

[EnelradSedir70]

Thank you for the reply Minish! So, you have only one cat? My second oldest Miko probably wishes he aaa the only cat here!

Kovy was staying at my moms house to give me some separation from him (I wouldn’t have been able to part with him on my own). She’s 74 though and he’s young and rambunctious. In fact, she just helped her nearly 20 year old cat Crockette cross over the bridge in Dec. he was her last cat. Now she has Febe from my house and then Kovy. So, it’s not even just me that’s doing this I am putting this onto her and that isn’t fair. Of course she grew to love him But she seems to have be able to compartmentalize these things and also realize her age. She has things she wants to do and not as much time left to do them. She also may not be able to stay in her house past Aug as they keep raising rent and may have to come live with me. 8 cats and no room for her.

One of the original 5 I trapped at the colony in 2017 is STILL at this sanctuary because he’s so frightened. I took him there in Dec that year. They just adopted him out but the people brought him back because he wasn’t coming around quickly enough. that’s just how many people are. They want lap cats. The staff love him though and he’s become their greeter to shy cats. Kovy does love other cats. At my moms house he only had Febe and she wanted nothing to do with him. So maybe he will make a friend.

Kovy has the added value of being gorgeous with bi-colored eyes. Many people will love that but then his fear may be too much and if adopts may prompt a return to rescue. That's also why I like this place as they will take the cat back no questions asked if it doesn’t work out.

 

[CatladyJan]

Hi I just went through this myself. I rescued 7 last year and I found a rescue to take 5 of them. One is very social just not with strangers. The other was the slowest to progress. I had another rescue that was going to evaluate and I felt the concerns you did. Well I had to cancel because of illness in our family. I became very attached to these 2 and worried about their future. I wanted them to go to a place that had high adoption fees and strict screening or to a sanctuary they could live out their lives in. I’m in my late 50’s and not sure I will outlive them plus I have 4 other cats and a dog. I tried finding places that would let me foster them at my house and view potential applicants but they were full. My heart was heavy and anxious I tried to find someone to give them a trial foster to see how they would do. Well. I’ve kept them.

IMHO $30-50 is not high enough adoption fee. If I could have found someone I knew personally I would have been ok with that.

Read reviews on shelters/rescues look at their adoption application and fees and policies.

 

[EnelradSedir70]

Hi I just went through this myself. I rescued 7 last year and I found a rescue to take 5 of them. One is very social just not with strangers. The other was the slowest to progress. I had another rescue that was going to evaluate and I felt the concerns you did. Well I had to cancel because of illness in our family. I became very attached to these 2 and worried about their future. I wanted them to go to a place that had high adoption fees and strict screening or to a sanctuary they could live out their lives in. I’m in my late 50’s and not sure I will outlive them plus I have 4 other cats and a dog. I tried finding places that would let me foster them at my house and view potential applicants but they were full. My heart was heavy and anxious I tried to find someone to give them a trial foster to see how they would do. Well. I’ve kept them.

IMHO $30-50 is not high enough adoption fee. If I could have found someone I knew personally I would have been ok with that.

Read reviews on shelters/rescues look at their adoption application and fees and policies.

hi CatladyJan

thanks for sharing your experience. Since I started doing TNR (and have now stopped) I used only a few rescues for any cats social enough. This place Kovy is going to is a sanctuary. They adopt out too but they require a $300 intake fee (which is low for a sanctuary). They mandate that the adopter being the cat back if it’s not working out. So he can stay for life. But, I have a 16 year old and muni (11yo) who may have oral cancer, and if either of them end up no longer with me I will go readopt him. I just turned 50 though and he’s only 2. My other youngest is 7.


I want Kovy to meet other people and learn they can be good. I want to see him thrive with others because that is the ultimate indicator of my work having paid off. If that’s the outcome then great, I won’t let him languish there and have asked them to let me know if they feel like is happening.

 

[EnelradSedir70]

No sooner was Kovy on his way down and an old acquaintance was texting me saying she just trapped a cat and needed to borrow one of my kennels. It’s never ending and so many need help.

 

[CatladyJan]

E EnelradSedir70 sounds like Kovy is going to a wonderful rescue

 

[EnelradSedir70]

Well, I think out of those who could take him they are definitely good. They happen to be an open concept facility, where after a brief stay in the intake area they’ll go out to an appropriate area of the facility for them (overweight, gen population) but they are not kept in kennels long term. They have walkways up near ceiling and lots of hidey spots with access to outdoor area that’s enclosed. We’ll see.

 

[JuneLovesCats]

Thank you, Enelrad for the work you do with these cats in need. I think the important thing to remember is that we have to guard our own mental health and wellbeing first, otherwise we won't be able to keep helping more kitties! It sounds like you know your limits and have your hands quite full with the cats you already own, and that if Kovy isn't able to thrive or find the right fit, you can welcome him back to your home. But perhaps he is more resilient than you think, and can learn to trust and love another human who isn't you! We can pray (or hope, if you're not religious) for that outcome for him, anyway. Remember what a wonderful thing you did for him by taking him in and giving him the care and love that you did so far -- the before and after pictures speak for themselves. You gave him a chance, and that's something he didn't have before. Seeing the defeat and sadness in his eyes in the "before" picture compared to the beauty and bright-eyed gaze in the second is remarkable. YOU did that. Your love and your sacrifice. You have done, and I know will continue to do, the best that you can for Kovy and your other kitties. Take comfort in that knowledge and may the love you gave to him so far carry him through to his next great adventure with a new family who can love him as much as you have.

 

[EnelradSedir70]

Good evening JuneLovedCats. I wanted to say thank you so much fe your supportive and kind words. Sometimes perspective from larger than my own view is helpful to hear. Your words really helped me see a different perspective and sort of ground me in reality.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

 

[Dee1956]

Hi I just went through this myself. I rescued 7 last year and I found a rescue to take 5 of them. One is very social just not with strangers. The other was the slowest to progress. I had another rescue that was going to evaluate and I felt the concerns you did. Well I had to cancel because of illness in our family. I became very attached to these 2 and worried about their future. I wanted them to go to a place that had high adoption fees and strict screening or to a sanctuary they could live out their lives in. I’m in my late 50’s and not sure I will outlive them plus I have 4 other cats and a dog. I tried finding places that would let me foster them at my house and view potential applicants but they were full. My heart was heavy and anxious I tried to find someone to give them a trial foster to see how they would do. Well. I’ve kept them.

IMHO $30-50 is not high enough adoption fee. If I could have found someone I knew personally I would have been ok with that.

Read reviews on shelters/rescues look at their adoption application and fees and policies.

I adopted two feral kittens I paid their foster Mom $150. Compared to the shelters in my area it was half. She finds cats with kittens does trap, neuter, release In hindsight I see why the shelter charges $300. They only allow people to adopt a pair of kittens. It's spot of