Getting A Second Cat Questions

[marblesmom]

not sure if this is the right forum for this or not-

Our Marbles is 9 mos old now. If I can get hubs to agree, i really want to get her a cat friend, sometime after we are done vacationing at end of August.

How likely is it that a 9-month-old who has been an "only child" since 10 weeks old is going to get along fine with a new cat? Is it best to get one the same age? Or an adult cat? Would it be fine- or better- to get a, say, 6-mo-old kitten maybe? Hubs still is a kitten guy. He never liked cats, although of course he still likes Marbles as she gets older.

also- the vet told me to get a male, as females get along better with males. Truth?

Thanks!

 

[Graceful-Lily]

In my experience, the younger the two of them are, the most likely they will adapt and get use to each other. I've tried introducing older cats. Sometimes it works out really well and sometimes it doesn't. It really depends on the individual cat as well. Some cats are just more social and accepting of others while some are skeptical and take longer to warm up. If you'd like to adopt an older cat, I suggest visiting them and spending some time with them to get a sense of their temperament and personality. It would also help if you could have a trail period with the new cat to see how well they get along with the resident cat.

I could be wrong however so anyone is free to add on or take away as needed.

 

[haleyds]

Well it's all about the individual. She's still basically a kitten so I would recommend a cat either around her age or younger. But at the end of the day they might not ever love each other, they may only live in harmony without fighting- like my two cats. You have to get a cat because YOU want another cat, because in reality cats are perfectly content being on their own and don't need another cat companion.
If you do decide to get another, males typically don't make a female feel threatened and vise versa but again it's more about what cats personality will mesh well with your cats and your household.

 

[arouetta]

I know nothing of matching kittens. However concerning gender compatibility in general, getting a male is better. Two females may fight over dominant cat position. A male and a female (as long as they are altered completely, no missed tissue) are more likely to be chilled with each other. Not a guarantee though, you never know what personality you are bringing in and how your existing cat will react to sharing territory with another cat.

 

[Kieka]

I would agree that each cat reacts differently to newcomers. In my household we have three cats. We briefly toyed with the idea of adding a fourth and even set up a play date to see how everyone reacted.

My boy was cautious but intrigued. He has brought friends (stray neighborhood cats) home before and adapted readily to Rocket when she joined the house. He would have welcomed a new kitten.

My Moms cat hissed and ignored the kitten once he established the boundary. He is indifferent to other cats and took about 3 months to warm up to Rocket. Not that he was mean to her; he just avoided her and ignored her. He would have eventually accepted a kitten.

Rocket, my girl, she ran from the room and hid in her cat tree. She refused to come out even after the kitten left and was unresponsive to any attempt to get her out. It wasn't until I was falling asleep that she darted from the cat tree to curl up next to me. She was back to normal the next day. She wouldn't have taken well to a new kitten and likely wouldn't have adapted well or quickly.

We didn't adopt the new kitten because we didn't want to put Rocket through that.

The point being, the personality of your cat is greatly a factor. You don't want one that is too much different in energy level. I personally think males get along better with others (assuming they are neutered). Your best bet is to see if there are any rescues and if a foster mom is available to talk to. Describe the home, personality and what you are looking for. If you are willing to wait you will likely find the exact right fit. Going through someone who fosters ensures that the personality of the newcomer is established and they are socialized. You could also foster a litter of kittens (with or without the mother) and see if any of them seem to fit in well.

 

[kissthisangel]

how is your cat generally? What motivates her? humans , food, play?

If you choose to get another cat, you will want to make sure a slow introduction is followed. One of the things I had to overcome when I introduced my two was the size difference anxiety (not that you should be put off with this because the cats don't care). You will look at your cat now, and think aww she's a little kitten, and she is. However if you compare her to her 10W size when you got her, the difference can be huge. My partner panicked horribly, and my evening was full of (she's going to hurt him!) cries for weeks on end.

Some of the other things you might consider is why are you getting another cat? Do YOU want another cat, or are you getting the cat as a playmate to your current cat? The level of acceptence between cats varies greatly on many factors, space, attention, food availability, playtime , age , sociability. How much space do you have? I'd have 1000 cats if space allowed, but unfortunately for now I'm limited to 2. You need to be able to provide a seperate eating, relaxing and toilet space if needed. With the territory at the disposal, some cats will want to use it, others will want to smother eachother. The possibility is literally longer than a piece of string.

I do agree that It is easier to socialise younger cats though.

If you do choose to get another, a foster situation, as Kieka mentioned could offer the benefit of a preview of who your cat will be good friends with.

Whatever you choose to do, if you introduce males and females in the same situation ensure they are neutered/ spayed! It can be very surprising how young a female can season, meaning that you might end up with a bunch of kittens you definately hadn't banked on.

 

[ArtNJ]

Agreeing and following up on what kissthisangel said, in my opinion, do not get another cat unless YOU want one, because it is really a dice roll as to whether it will work out, and stress and fighting are not uncommon. So your existing cat may well be worse off. Even if things go ok, my impression & experience is that toleration is more common than playmate status.

All of that said, the fact that your existing cat is still very young and you are considering a cat of similar age increases the chances of success by a decent margin. Differences in activity level are one of the most common sources of problems, and you can more or less eliminate that by careful matching (with age being a big component of that). So if YOU want another cat, this would not be unreasonable.

Bottom line, don't do it for your existing cat, but if you want another cat, proceed carefully, read up on introduction techniques and it will likely be ok. With time and patience -- there may be bumps along the way, and if you get unlucky, they could be a source of continuing stress that you will struggle to get under control.

 

[marblesmom]

Hm. *I* would love more cats but hubs would be very happy with only one. I really want another because I feel bad for Marbles. She's an indoor kitten, so doesn't have the fun of outdoors. She's always seeking us out and wanting to play- much more than we are able. She doesn't play much by herself anymore. She roams around and looks bored or forlorn. If we don't/can't respond- busy, too tired- she goes away and to sleep upstairs on our bed. And I do make a conscious effort to play with her 2-3x/day and I make my kids play with her too.

I feel like another active young cat/kitten would give her companionship, keep her more active, and alleviate boredom.

So this is not a good assumption to make?

 

[arouetta]

I feel like another active young cat/kitten would give her companionship, keep her more active, and alleviate boredom.

So this is not a good assumption to make?

I had a stray walk into my house. Long story short she showed severe separation anxiety whenever we went out. I thought another cat was the cure. I was young and dumb and didn't realize that not all cats get along.

The new cat thought she was the greatest thing since sliced chocolate cake and wanted to be buddy buddies and play with her and was clearly submissive to her. She was so terrified of him she started wetting herself since she was too afraid to walk down the hall to the litter box. She was too afraid to walk down that hall period. At some point the two of them got their signals crossed and she ended up with an abscess. The vet said it was clear that he was chasing her in play, she was running for her life, and he apparently bit her on the butt.

They ended up in an arrangement, he was allowed to sleep on the bed with her and could let the tip of his tail touch the tip of her tail. Beyond that, once she lost the fear she had no problem letting him know his attention was unwelcome and she was very, very standoffish. That lasted 5 years, until I tried a third cat (and that introduction did work, and the two boys pretty much leave Shadow alone like she wants).

So you could end up with a situation like mine, where one cat is desperate to play and the other cat wants nothing to do with him/her. And then you are right back at square one, trying to play with the lonely one as much as possible since the other cat won't.

 

[haleyds]

Hm. *I* would love more cats but hubs would be very happy with only one. I really want another because I feel bad for Marbles. She's an indoor kitten, so doesn't have the fun of outdoors. She's always seeking us out and wanting to play- much more than we are able. She doesn't play much by herself anymore. She roams around and looks bored or forlorn. If we don't/can't respond- busy, too tired- she goes away and to sleep upstairs on our bed. And I do make a conscious effort to play with her 2-3x/day and I make my kids play with her too.

I feel like another active young cat/kitten would give her companionship, keep her more active, and alleviate boredom.

So this is not a good assumption to make?

It's never good to assume anything with cats it seems. If a dog were bored and needing more stimulus then yes, getting another pup works wonderful! But cats, we honestly can never know what they truly want unless we try and either succeed, or fail.

 

[ArtNJ]

Let me put it this way: getting a young active cat when you an inactive older cat is a really bad decision. By contrast, what you want to do, getting a second young active cat when you have a young active cat is not a bad decision if made for the right reasons, but it is a dice roll and could go well or badly. Since the perhaps most common outcome is that the cats will reach a state of toleration but not actually end up buddies, it really only makes sense to proceed if the family wants another cat.

 

[verna davies]

I had a 6 month old female kitten (had her at 9 weeks so on her own for 4 month) and then got a 10 week old female as like you I thought she would like company. They tolerated each other but never played together. The older wanted to go outside all the time and ignored the younger one when she returned. The younger craved company. One year later, enter Buzz. A 9 week old boy. Now they all get on, play together and are the best of friends. I'd my experience us anything to do by, get a boy kitten.
Let us know what happens

 

[kissthisangel]

She's seeking you because she likes spending time with you. Don't feel bad you can't always fulfil this. If you liken this to having a dog (I know it's not the same but hear me out) you can't always be on a long walk with the dog. If you are setting aside time to play with your cat actively, you are actively building a relationship with the cat.

I think you should check out foster options in your area IF you have the room to do this. If you can find the right companion for your cat, you'll all benefit. If you can't find a suitable companion right now, be patient until you do.

much luck
~Kiss

 

[arouetta]

She's seeking you because she likes spending time with you. Don't feel bad you can't always fulfil this. If you liken this to having a dog (I know it's not the same but hear me out) you can't always be on a long walk with the dog. If you are setting aside time to play with your cat actively, you are actively building a relationship with the cat.

Think of it as having a kid. Kids need alone time to learn how to entertain themselves. It's not just mentally healthy, it's needed. You can't play Candy Land all day, you eventually need to hand the kid a book and the TV remote and go make dinner or post on the cat forum or take a bubble bath.