From Feral To Lap Cats

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MoonstoneWolf

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Always a fun day with these cats. 6 months feuding between Treasure and Shaman. Now Treasure is getting jealous (for lack of a better word) of Sopdet. Guess it won't be long til a feud between these two start up. But something I noticed, although Treasure is not bitter enemies with Shaman if Shaman got into some kind of trouble he'll run to help her (in his cat way). They all do stick up for one another when an outside force is a threat to one of them, regardless of their relationship to each other. It just dawned upon me that it's like watching a cat version of The Sopranos.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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The cats have disappeared again and I'm now at the point that if they feel better with another colony then so be it. Everything is uncertain at this point with this virus going around who knows. Maybe the cats know something I don't. As long as they'r healthy I had to mentally give them permission to leave if that is what they want. And it hurts. They may or may not be back. But will remain always in my heart whatever they do.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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Saddened. I don't think the cats especially Shaman will ever return. Oh well. They're better off with a different caretaker anyway then here with me. I'm so sad. I was hoping there would be a different way but somehow the bond was not as strong as I thought it was or they would have been here since they are technically no longer feral. None of this would have happened if Mom was a bit more understanding I just knew this would happen if there wasn't a resolution but no one believed me. Now look. Shaman will most likely never return to me because obviously unlike what people say she just associated me with a free meal, even though I loved her dearly. Just like I knew that Shadow was going to go missing for months last summer and no one believed that and I knew that something was going to happen to Cooper 2 months ago and he disappeared for 40 days coming back mean and aggressive. I don't have a good feeling about this. When this colony is gone, either by old cat age or they just leave I'm not doing this again. :(
 
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MoonstoneWolf

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This entire situation is horrible. I am not coming up with any luck on ideas on how to feed the cats without Treasure or Mom seeing me and there's no way I can order a dog crate to contain Treasure while Shaman is eating without Mom knowing about it as she inspects all packages. No one on my stupid block wants to take delivery and dump in my back yard at night (no contact needed). I'm so heartbroken. :(
 

MoonstoneWolf

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I am no longer playing and associating with these cats. I give them the food and water and come back inside. I'm tired of the fights. I'm tired of the daily heartbreaks and worries. No one wants to take them 5000 miles away so they can have a better life. The one that came to me first and the one I love dearly no longer loves me or wants anything to do with me. A lot of it is my Mom but a lot is also Treasure. I get no help from my local behaviorists. I get no advice from local behaviorist. No one knows what to do and the ones that do tell me to figure it out on my own. I'm worried that I may carry this virus and kill my Mom and then to worry about the cats on top of it: why are they fighting. Did so and so eat, where has this one been, why won't they come to me, did this one get hurt, oh no I heard gunshots and people threatening to kill them did one of them get killed. This is not fair to them nor is it fair to me. I got too emotional instead of being a responsible caretaker and this is what happens. No one helps with the Mom situation. It's an every day thing with her. Throwing fits, destroying stuff. Screaming and carrying on. I call the doctor and the doctor snitches to my Mom then I get evicted. This is no life for the cats. I wish them well wherever they move onto. So I'm tired of the entire thing. As much as I love them I can't do this anymore. A good caretaker would have had this figured out in the span of 20 months. A good caretaker would have not even started this with a crazy woman inside. :(
 
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MoonstoneWolf

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It is now 72 hours since Shaman has been able to eat. All because of Mom and Treasure. I see her cowering in the bushes 3 houses up and every time she tries to come out to eat Treasure runs and attacks her or the neighbor's brother comes to do work on the house (not ours but his sister's) and she runs and hides in the bushes. By the time he leaves it will be 80 hours since she would have ate a thing. :(

If it wasn't for Mom none of this would have happened. I'm not saying let me bring them inside when she's allergic but if she would not have been so selfish I could have been able to go outside and keep better track of them instead of having to sneak feed them. I can't get a crate to contain Treasure because Mom sees and inspects all packages (even more so now with the coronavirus thing. She thinks we're being targeted by Russians: can't reason with a crazy woman). She isn't letting ANYONE in the yard to trap Treasure and maybe even relocate him, and a few of our shelters have closed due to workers getting this virus.

And I'm not having any luck with the no kill shelters because of the Coronavirus, so sadly Shaman may starve to death before I get any help or advice on this situation.

If my mother wasn't so selfish thinking only of herself or what the neighbors think of her I could set up another feeding area behind the garage for Shaman that she could sneak to and eat from when Treasure isn't around. But all she does is think of herself. Obvious when she forces me to go out and rake leaves and pull weeds when I'm suffering massive nosebleeds.

There are only 2 doors in this house that I can leave and the upstairs one Mom will see and the basement one Treasure will see and come running. Treasure literally hides in the back yard in the bushes watching for this door to open. Mom sits upstairs by windows watching my every move. And no matter where I am in the yard Mom can see depending upon which window she looks out of. :(
 
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MoonstoneWolf

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I have had no luck trying to find another caretaker for the cats. Even if I could during this pandemic no one wants to come and take them. Our shelters are closed because of this virus. And my heart is breaking in two as Shaman no longer loves me or wants to be with me. I suppose in a way it's better for all of them to find someone else they can bond with in the event something happens to Mom and I. It doesn't help though with the sorrow and pain that is tearing me into a million tiny pieces. I was foolish and now I'm paying for it. :(
 

MoonstoneWolf

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It's really not the same thing though. Outside they can run who knows where. Shaman has not been coming to me at all period except 2 brief minutes total in past 2 weeks. But her annoying bratty brother follows me to her and that's when this starts. And yet so called cat behaviorists refuse to help or give advice even when I offer payment. However Inside they can go to another room. But when one is run away from the food all the time, is she supposed to starve herself or find another colony? Soon she's going to decide that to stay alive she has to move on forever, which thereby breaks the bond. So I repeat myself from above, I was a fool and now I'm paying for it.
 
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MoonstoneWolf

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I reworded it. I realized how it sounded so I edited the post. Not a jab against you and I appreciate the help
 

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There's a lot of information about cats and their behaviour and cat behaviourists can be very expensive. I would think spending the money on food or care would be more appropriate, especially when you've said it's hard to manage.

Many people who look after colonies, or have a 'home cat', will have cats that don't show affection, behave oddly etc. We just continue to look after them. Making demands on cats it futile. It's one of the reasons I love them.

One thing we do know is that cats pick up on your vibe, and if you are constantly being 'torn into a million tiny pieces' and feeling heartbroken over their behaviour, they're going to know about it and read it as stress. This thread is 57 pages long describing eight months of dramatic events and constant angst. Sometimes we just have to let it be. Do your best, breathe deeply and go with the flow.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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I know. I think I worry more about their safety though or health. Hearing what is perceived as gunshots (could be anything though) makes me worry And to be honest, i miss them when they aren't around. They're my reprieve from my Mother and give me a lot of joy when I interact with them. Does that make sense?

A few things that I have noticed however is that when I broke my toe in October, it was 5 days before Shaman and Treasure quit being best friends and became bitter enemies and still are. I noticed a few times, even though I tried to remain calm and not show pain the two of them did back away from me when I went outside. Then they started to come closer, Treasure disappeared for a day while Shaman and Sopdet hung close and 2 days after he returned injured and limping (cat version of my injury) during mid meal Shaman looked at Treasure with fright and ran off. Since that time she runs petrified of him while he became increasingly aggressive to her and visiting humans. I never yelled at him for it, rather I just did the opposite of what he was looking for and that was I ignored him for at least 15 minutes and didn't give him the attention. Sometimes he gets overstimulated and bites Sopdet in attack mode but unlike Shaman who is skittish at a butterfly, Sopdet holds her own against him by hissing and swatting him and then those two are back to being friends in an hour. I have noticed the increasing odd behavior since this coronavirus and noticed even how the wildlife in my backyard seem on edge. And the odd behavior of the raccoon that I rescued from behind my chair that day. He didn't try to defend himself and why couldn't he have crawled out from under the chair when I walked around to the other side. It was Noon when he was outside. Of course for that matter how did I go outside the door and stand less than an inch from him and never see him as I had to look straight ahead in his direction when going out that door. It's like he placed his entire trust in me at that time. He doesn't know me. No way of telling if he's the raccoon that eats with the cats at night time.

All in all I'm still wondering if it's something I'm doing (other than the stress I feel) or if this (my back yard) is a good place for them to be with the situation with my Mom and me having to constantly sneak feeding them.


Maybe it would be best to just mentally let them go to wherever place is stress free for them and pray for their health and safety,no matter how much I'll miss them if they do leave.
 
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MoonstoneWolf

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Ok well Sopdet came back but ran petrified of me. Not sure why but hopefully I'm not carrying the virus. :(

Shadow returned and I found a great view for the cam, although it's a PIA to put the cam in there without it tipping over. I may move the food and water closer to the carrier though and I put a few bricks in front of the cam so that a curios raccoon that I named Harrison doesn't decide to check it out. Hopefully Shadow will tell the others to come and eat. haha

Treasure is not accounted for. Sopdet is outside crying for him. The last time she did that was in October when he got injured. :(

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MoonstoneWolf

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Ok still no Treasure, Cooper, Spirit, Gypsy, CG or Shaman. As I stated above I could understand if just one cat but when 6 of them just up and disappear at the same time it has to be something wrong here and I'm banging my head against the wall trying to figure out why everything I attempt to do blows up in my face. I spent almost 2 years with these cats and somehow I broke that trust. I hope they are all ok (remember Treasure got sick off that 9 lives a few weeks ago as well as 2 of the raccoons that ate the droppings of that at night time. If I knew they were alive and well I'll accept them moving on to another colony and maybe the fact that they may sense an upcoming illness for me. But since cats don't talk there is no way of knowing. :(
 

MoonstoneWolf

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Ok still only Sopdet and Shadow. Treasure missing 24 hours, Shaman missing 48 hours and the others missing 4 days. Oh and
Bird walks right into pet carrier and eats the food, contrary to what articles say to keep birds from your outdoor/ feral cat's food bowl. And this is why I'm constantly on here asking the same questions because it seems that I exhausted all options. Hence one of the reasons I wanted to get a behaviorist because I don't want to see a cat starve since that is abuse. And something worse than birds eating the food is going on now. 6 cats do not just up and disappear at the same time unless I'm at fault or someone is running around hurting them. I just can't and won't believe that 6 cats that hate each other would all go running off to one of the other colonies at exactly the same time and same day.
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Willowy

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Oh yeah, starlings are terrible. They'd walk right into my plywood shelter/feeding house, a bunch of them all together, so if I walked up on the house without them hearing me first they'd all explode out of the door. . .it almost gave me a heart attack the first time! If anyone could find a sure way to deter starlings they'd be a zillionaire.

Sorry to hear they've been gone so long. Cats do wander a bit, especially in spring (even if spayed/neutered) so hopefully they'll be back before too long.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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I hope so. I miss them so much. So my neighbor's brother who has cats said that sometimes it can take 2 years after being fixed for their hormones to settle. Sounds a bit odd to me so was wondering if that is true. I just find it very odd that Shaman is so scared. As best as I remember, On October 12th I injured my toe tripping over Shaman. While she still came to me she hung out with Treasure, until he disappeared on October 17th and came limping back. I think I have a video on of these pages of it. Meanwhile Shaman did at times act scared of me just after I got hurt, I think the pain smelled odd to her? Shaman and Treasure, if you remember, would not eat unless they both ate together from the same bowl or plate. Well the day after Treasure's injury the two were eating together and just like that Shaman backed up, hissed at Treasure and ran off scared and has been that way since. Of course cats can't tell us what is wrong so I'm only going by the videos that I took and shared. To this day Treasure chases Shaman off. Now if my local TNR got the correct information from the human's family (the hoarding guy) then Shaman and Treasure are littermates 6+years old as of this reply here. At first I was thinking maybe it's because Treasure was too energetic as Shaman was more of a lay around and chill type cat and maybe he played too rough with her. The two did not get into any fight the day he disappeared because the entire time of his disappearance Shaman and Sopdet were at my side following me around looking for him. It's funny how Shaman still came up to her disappearance last week and halfheartedly played with his favorite toys and sat looking off into the bushes where the two would go at times. It's like neither recognize them. Scent swapping is hard if even possible, when outside because of the air and possible rain/winds.

I have noticed that Treasure gets overstimulated as just last week after petting him 3 times he turned around and bit Sopdet on the butt really hard. Sopdet flattened her ears, hissed at him loudly followed by angry raccoon sound (remember she sounds more like a raccoon than a cat) and swatted at him, backing into one of the cat tents. But an hour later the two of them were sleeping together after a quick bite from the plate.

I can't go anywhere outside without Treasure seeing me (he lurks in the bushes and watches me) and following me. If I sneak out the back he sees. If I exit the house from the other door, Mom sees. So either way Shaman does not get a chance to eat, which, if she did take off to another colony I understand as survival is #1 priority for her. But when I hear, what sounds like gunshots (and this is a weekly occurrence at the same time) I worry. Was it something that just sounded like gunshots? Are the cats, raccoons and possums ok? I think Harrison (the raccoon I rescued that day at Noon) was injured somehow as you can see how he hobbled off. I don't think the cats got hit by a car during this time as it's like a ghost town right now. So I don't know. I just hope it wasn't that food I got for them that made them sick. All I know is if I can see all 8 of them and know they are ok, then I can relax a bit.

Thank you for your reply though and sorry for the book I just wrote.

Oh and I forgot to mention I also have Cardinals and robins walking right in, when they are here that is.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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My neighbor's brother told me I'm free to feed Shaman in his driveway if she ever comes back. He informed me that once they move on they never return and that there probably was no bond to begin with. I have all the cat items packed up and ready to donate. I hope wherever they go they remain healthy and safe. I'll miss them all so much. And I guess that's that for the cats. I'll never see them again. :(
 
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