Frantically seeking affection

ritz

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I recently removed Hercules (male, TNRd May 2012, roughly four years old) from the colony I take care of. He has always been inordinately affectionate, and given how frigid the temperatures were going to be/are, I thought, no cat deserves to be outside.

He settled in pretty quickly, although stayed behind a chair most of the time. The second night he woke me up with a pittiful cry so I went in to see him. Well, he could not get enough lovin: all over me, scent marking, climbing on lap, just begging for cuddling. Which of course I obliged.

He still wants a fair amount of affection. though not as desparately as before. The problem arises because he can't seen to get comfortable: I sit on the floor with my legs crossed like a tailor. He climbs on my lap and tries various positions, stretches, all the while giving me head butts, scent marking, etc. I've tried sitting on the chair and inviting him up on my lap, but he won't jump up.

And ideas where the discomfort is coming from and how to make him more comfortable. It is frustrating for both of us.

Thanks.
 

shadowsrescue

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I put a blanket in my lap that helps the cats to feel more comfortable.  The feral/stray I brought into my home in May 2013 would stand in my lap, but had a hard time sitting in my lap.  He also would not jump onto any of the furniture.  I thought for sure something was wrong with him!  He is just not a jumper and now that he has lived in my house for 1.5 years he is just no getting comfortable enough to jump up onto the couch.

Can you lift Hercules onto your lap?  Marvin hated to be picked up.  But I learned to pick him up by supporting his rear with one hand and my other hand under his belly.  I found the coziest blanket I could find and he was so happy.  He doesn't like to sit on my lap unless I use a blanket. 
 

losna

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What about a couch?

Sinbad is very similar, he wants tons of loving from me but for the longest time he would only seem to get comfy on me while I was reclining on the couch with my legs stretched out flat and a blanket on them. He wouldn't jump up on his own initially, but if I picked him up and put him on my legs he would happily snuggle and stay.

Over time he is slowly learning more ways to cuddle, though he still doesn't like my lap.
 
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ritz

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Thanks both of you for your hints. There is only a chair in the cat room, but I can bring in a foot stool which may do as a sofa. I have a long sofa in the living room. In a few days I plan on putting Ritz in the master bedroom and let Hercules explore the rest of the house. There is a long sofa in the living room which I can experiment with.
I put a blanket in between my legs, thinking the unevenness was throwing him off. And also put a pillow next to my legs, to lengthen the available cuddling space. Helps maybe a little, but not the definitive solution.
I actually can pick Hercules up, he doesn't seem to mind. So maybe I'll try that. Ritz hates being picked up but is very much a lap cat. It would be nice if Ritz can remain a lap cat and Hercules a foot/leg cat.
 

losna

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The way @ShadowsRescue   describes lifting is also the only way Sinbad will tolerate being picked up. But he loves that "buttlift" so much he actually prefers snuggling while being carried that way.

It also does seem to depend on the blanket. "solid" ones seem to scare him, and even Tempest avoids them. They'll both sort of mill around unhappily on quilts or comforters. But fluffy fake fleece or crocheted blankets will get them snuggling and purring up a storm. So if you don't have luck with one blanket, try others.  I have the best luck with cats and blankets I crochet, I presume because my smell is saturating them from the creation process. But not everyone has those lying around ... maybe try dirty clothes in your lap as well? 
 
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ritz

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More great ideas.... I have several type of blankets and lots of smelly jogging pants which I'll experiment with.
 
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ritz

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Update: Hercules likes the soft, pet type of blanket over the regular, loose weave blanket I use(d). After about ten minutes, he finally settled down on my lap to take a nap. Course *I* had to go to bed then cause I get up at 3 a.m. Progess...
I have different sizes of pillows, will try a small one that has a nice saying, to the effect "I hope I'm the kind of human my cat needs/wants me to be."
 

shadowsrescue

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Update: Hercules likes the soft, pet type of blanket over the regular, loose weave blanket I use(d). After about ten minutes, he finally settled down on my lap to take a nap. Course *I* had to go to bed then cause I get up at 3 a.m. Progess...
I have different sizes of pillows, will try a small one that has a nice saying, to the effect "I hope I'm the kind of human my cat needs/wants me to be."
That is great progress!!  My former feral, Marvin loves a very soft fleecy type blanket that I have from Sam's Club.  My other boy, Jake loves them too.  They seek out the blankets every day in the winter.  I now own 4 of these blankets, as the cats have taken them!!
 
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ritz

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Ritz on the other hand has totally ignored all blankets and pet beds, though she looked adorable in a pink pet bed with a bow :)
Hercules is strangely timid; I expected more self-confidence given how affectionate/trusting he is of me/humans. He wasn't thrilled about being allowed to explore the main living room (while Ritz was behind closed doors). Took two passes, then went back to his safe room (cat room).
 

losna

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Huzzah! Glad to hear you found a way to snuggle!
 
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