For 15.5 years I've avoided this forum.. and here I am.

Draco

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CTB forum, I've avoided it. It breaks my heart every time I read someone's story of their baby's passing.

And now I am here, losing my baby, Monet.

I made the painful, yet right decision, yesterday to let him sleep and fly to the heavens.

I had a bit of a hard time sleeping last night, but I did get some sleep. Woke up (with a headache) and looked for Monet in his usual spots, even though I know he isn't there. I just imagine him laying on my laundry hamper or trotting down the hall to greet me for breakfast. I'm going to miss his every day routines. It felt weird to open one can of food and not two.

I'm going to miss the way he'd parkour off my wall during his zoomies. The way he'd lay against me while I'm on my computer and drinking coffee; I'd rub his belly. The way he'd hiss and smack at me if I pet him for one second too long. the "butt rubs" I'd give him whenever he's at his scratching post and his protests over kisses to his face. That one certain meow he'd give me for me to move whatever off my lap and move my arms so he could climb in for snuggles when on the couch. Or even the way he'd scold me whenever I'd scratch my underarms- I never figured out why he hated that. Most of all, I will miss the way he'd sleep with me spooned against my chest every single night. If I rolled over, he'd move over me to stay at my chest. Even his wake up calls 5 minutes before my alarm would go off.

He won two contests.
OMG!! Monet won AGAIN!!
Monet won!!!

Someone also submitted him on Icanhascheeseburger
A Little Privacy Please?
OK- Who submitted this photo to icanhascheezeburger?!????

Every single day I'd tell both of my cats that I love them. Every night before bed I'd say it with kisses. I know Monet knows I love him. Cassie does too.

He may not have liked anyone else, he'd try to bite visitors if they'd try to pet him. But he was amazing to me.

For 15.5 years he had never been sick. This last year was his downfall between diagnosed with Hyperthyroid in January and a scare thinking he swallowed something he should not have in august to diagnosis of kidney disease in September and most recently renal failure. I guess in a way I am grateful it all happened quickly and he didn't have to live years with the illnesses. I am still in shock, because he had always been an active cat that loved to eat and play. Then at 15.5 years old he fell and went. It happened fast, it happened suddenly. I honestly expected him to live to age 20.

I gave him gabapentin because he always gets so stressed out at the vet that he'd turn feral. I had been so worried that his last moments would be a stressful one for him, it was a great fear. The vet told me to give him as much as I can to knock him out. Thankfully, it worked. When we got to the vet, I don't think he knew where he was. He curled in my lap and we loved on each other until the time came and I stayed with him with kisses and pets and words of love. He went quickly, peacefully and without pain. I am grateful he wasn't stressed out and upset at the vet, I know I'd be a mess if he was.

I know this was the right choice. I have no guilt. He wasn't going to get better and I could not bear to see him deteriorate any further. There's no "what if" moments, I did everything I could with him in my care with SubQ fluids, meds and lots of food choices. In the end, I had to say good bye and let him rest pain free.

I opted for private cremation despite my wallet crying. I picked out an urn for him and I will see him again in a week or so. Normally I wouldn't do this for any pets (never did for my dogs growing up), but Monet was extra special, I wanted him back home. The co-op offered to let me bury him in the gardens, but if I should move I wouldn't want to leave him behind.

I am telling my other cat, Cassie, who's 14.5, to never get sick like this. Though, whatever happens I know is out of our control. She's not phased by his lack of presence, she was never bonded with him. I don't think she cares he's gone though there are moments she'd pause and look for him, expecting him to tackle her when she'd leave the litter box. She was confused as to why I put her food down in the kitchen rather than the bedroom (They had to be separated to eat), she'd run into the bedroom for food. She'll figure it out soon.

Mom and I went shopping after the vet. I wasn't ready to go home so quickly. She bought me cookies from Crumbl (honestly not worth the price tag, but still yummy). I'm grateful that she never finished her coffee and drove right out to be with me. The hours of wait until the vet appointment was the hardest. We waited and spent time in the garden together, petting and holding Monet. I don't know what I'd do without her, as I have no one else to turn to. I'd be doing this alone otherwise.

..

Someone on another forum asked me for his "backer card" a few days ago. His history and how he and I came together. This is what I wrote:

In 2009, I had lost my job. Laid off so they could hire an outside company for less. I had just moved out of my parents house into an apartment to be closer to my job. Now I had no income and rent to pay. Unemployment wasn't helping too much, just barely enough for food and necessities but not rent. I am grateful my parents helped me out financially, though I hate asking for money.

I fell into financial depression. My credit cards were mounting higher and higher every day, my rent went on my credit card. You can imagine how high it got (I was out of the job for 9 months, rent was 1,200. a month). I had numerous interviews that told me I am either too overqualified or too under qualified. I'd call my mom every night in tears. I was starting to have thoughts. Yes, serious thoughts.

One day, I decided to look at puppies to cheer me up. I knew I couldn't adopt a puppy in my rental, but dogs always cheered me up. I walk into this tiny shelter, and saw one lone kitten screaming. He was the only cat there, supposedly no one wanted him because he was just so loud. I saw him, he screamed at me. And told the staff I wanted to adopt him. Not even thinking it through, not considering the money, not even knowing a darn thing about cats. In fact, I hated cats. I was one of those "Ew, you let your cat on the counter" people. I knew I had to have him. I didn't even look at the puppies. This was on Memorial Day 2009.

I took him home, and from that moment on I stopped having thoughts and he became my baby. My first cat. My first "real" pet for lack of better terms. Sure, I've had dogs, but they were family pets and my parents took care of them. He supported me until I finally found a job. He helped me through with loves and laughter.

I decided on the name Monet because he's one of my favorite artist. Cassie is actually Picasso, but Picasso was kind of annoying to say and it turned into Cassie. I have a thing when I have pets I like to theme the names. The birds I've grown up with had names after the song Kokomo (I had Kokomo and Aruba). I've had lizards and their names rhymed (Jackie, Lacky, Whacky, Tacky). The cats I decided to name after artists, and I already planned on my next cat to be called Van Gogh, bonus if the ear is tipped.

...

It's hard. My heart hurts and there's a huge Monet-shaped hole. I know over time I will heal, I know each day will get easier and less painful. The pain may never go away, but it'll be less. And I know one day, probably sooner than I expect, I'll invite a new cat or two into my home to love and care for. I will always miss him, think about him and love him.

2009-2024




..

Add on.
I wanted to say thank you to FeebysOwner FeebysOwner , AbbysMom AbbysMom , neely neely , D DeesCats , Meowmee Meowmee and the many others that I could list that supported me and followed me in the past week on my other topic. Please don't be upset if I didn't tag you, you know who you are. You've all had been helpful with educating me and showing me the way through. I have no idea how I would've done this without the support of this site and the people within.

I've donated his medicine, needles, kidney food and his gently used toys to my mom's friend who runs a cattery. IMG_4618.jpeg IMG_3453.jpeg IMG_2181.jpeg IMG_0846.jpeg IMG_2340.jpeg IMG_2323.jpeg IMG_2321.jpeg IMG_1830.jpeg
 
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fionasmom

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I am so sorry for your loss. Learning about Monet, even at this very sad time, was very uplifting. He was a real character, a little star who deserved all of his accolades. Hold Cassie close for now, and maybe when it feels right there will be another extremely lucky, needy kitty who will share your life.
 

rubysmama

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What a beautiful tribute to your darling Monet. It brought tears to my eyes, as I read it and learned about your handsome boy, so I'm sure you were crying buckets writing it. Condolences to you on your loss. In time the pain will get easier, but it will take some time, unfortunately, likely more than you think. RIP dear Monet. :angel:

About avoiding this forum, I avoided it too, in my case for 10 1/2 years. Then in May I lost my Ruby, and came here to post a tribute to her. And I was blown away by the kind members who wrote such moving words to me, and about my girl. I was also surprised by how much their words comforted me. I hope the posts in your tribute to Monet will comfort you too. :hugs:
 

neely

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Count me in as another who avoided the CTB forum. It's heart-wrenching for anyone who has loved and lost a beloved feline. 😿 Reading your thread made me realize how important it is for us to support one another during a difficult time such as yours. I know this is true because we lost Carleton four months ago and the outpouring of love from members was more than appreciated, it was exceptionally touching.:touched:

My sincere and heartfelt sympathies go out to both your mom and you.:hugs: Monet was there at just the right time when you lost your job and were going through a difficult time. It was fate and you returned the love for 15.5 years. Hold his memories close to your heart. RIP sweet angel. :angel:
 

JamesCalifornia

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Count me in as another who avoided the CTB forum. It's heart-wrenching for anyone who has loved and lost a beloved feline. 😿 Reading your thread made me realize how important it is for us to support one another during a difficult time such as yours. I know this is true because we lost Carleton four months ago and the outpouring of love from members was more than appreciated, it was exceptionally touching.
~ I know that feeling. I lost two kitty companions in the last 2 years — and 3 humans as well. However, we likely will have other abandoned cats to save before we ourselves " check out " ... 😽💕
 

DeesCats

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What a beautiful tribute to Monet and it was heartwarming to hear your story about finding him at the right moment in your life.

I too have tears streaming down my face reading about how important he was in your life and the happiness and comfort he brought to you. I know he was well loved and well taken care of during your time together. It's always extremely difficult when sudden health issues come up and despite all the care we take, sometimes there is absolutely nothing we can do to fix it.

I loved the pics you posted of Monet from the time he was a kitten until he became the handsome cat that he was. I especially enjoyed the 'a little privacy please' photo and it made me laugh at both his expression and his position in that box or cupboard he was in.

Thank you for sharing Monet's and your journey with us during this sad time. Lots of love to you.
 

di and bob

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You gave him a gift, a beautiful tribute full of love that lets everyone know of him and honor this precious cat's life. To be remembered and loved after death is an honor that every cat deserves, but unfortunately few receive. Bless you for that and for giving him everything he wanted in thsi life, a home, care, and most importantly of all, love.
The bond of love built over all those years is very strong. You will always be connected to his soul, he will be with you to bring you what comfort he can in your precious memories, the road he now explores will always parallel your own. He would like nothing more than for you to share his love with another little soul in need. How do we know this? Because true love is going forward into the future and living it as you would want for him to go on if you were the first to go. Seeking love and happiness because that is what makes life worth living. He loves you and so wants no less.......
His love is secure in your soul. More love helps his grow even stronger, allows it to bloom in happiness. He taught you what truly loving another is all about. To pass on what he taught you would bring him happiness too.
Keep busy and live in the present for now. Hold tight onto that precious little Cassie, let her bring you comfort through distraction. To dwell on all our should haves could haves always brings pain, the past is set in stone. Grieving will bring enough pain without adding to it. And some things always come with grieving.
My heart goes out to you, I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I come to this site because sharing grief with those who can empathize always seems to make it a little easier to bear. Grief is always strongest to those the closest. it can be almost unbeareable at times. I have found that empathizing with others and offering a little comfort somehow brings comfort to may own broken heart. We are all family on this site and familty is there for you when you need it. "Do not cry because it is over, smile because it hapopened.".........RIP beautiful Monet. You will always be remembered, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. may the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

Meowmee

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CTB forum, I've avoided it. It breaks my heart every time I read someone's story of their baby's passing.

And now I am here, losing my baby, Monet.

I made the painful, yet right decision, yesterday to let him sleep and fly to the heavens.

I had a bit of a hard time sleeping last night, but I did get some sleep. Woke up (with a headache) and looked for Monet in his usual spots, even though I know he isn't there. I just imagine him laying on my laundry hamper or trotting down the hall to greet me for breakfast. I'm going to miss his every day routines. It felt weird to open one can of food and not two.

I'm going to miss the way he'd parkour off my wall during his zoomies. The way he'd lay against me while I'm on my computer and drinking coffee; I'd rub his belly. The way he'd hiss and smack at me if I pet him for one second too long. the "butt rubs" I'd give him whenever he's at his scratching post and his protests over kisses to his face. That one certain meow he'd give me for me to move whatever off my lap and move my arms so he could climb in for snuggles when on the couch. Or even the way he'd scold me whenever I'd scratch my underarms- I never figured out why he hated that. Most of all, I will miss the way he'd sleep with me spooned against my chest every single night. If I rolled over, he'd move over me to stay at my chest. Even his wake up calls 5 minutes before my alarm would go off.

He won two contests.
OMG!! Monet won AGAIN!!
Monet won!!!

Someone also submitted him on Icanhascheeseburger
A Little Privacy Please?
OK- Who submitted this photo to icanhascheezeburger?!????

Every single day I'd tell both of my cats that I love them. Every night before bed I'd say it with kisses. I know Monet knows I love him. Cassie does too.

He may not have liked anyone else, he'd try to bite visitors if they'd try to pet him. But he was amazing to me.

For 15.5 years he had never been sick. This last year was his downfall between diagnosed with Hyperthyroid in January and a scare thinking he swallowed something he should not have in august to diagnosis of kidney disease in September and most recently renal failure. I guess in a way I am grateful it all happened quickly and he didn't have to live years with the illnesses. I am still in shock, because he had always been an active cat that loved to eat and play. Then at 15.5 years old he fell and went. It happened fast, it happened suddenly. I honestly expected him to live to age 20.

I gave him gabapentin because he always gets so stressed out at the vet that he'd turn feral. I had been so worried that his last moments would be a stressful one for him, it was a great fear. The vet told me to give him as much as I can to knock him out. Thankfully, it worked. When we got to the vet, I don't think he knew where he was. He curled in my lap and we loved on each other until the time came and I stayed with him with kisses and pets and words of love. He went quickly, peacefully and without pain. I am grateful he wasn't stressed out and upset at the vet, I know I'd be a mess if he was.

I know this was the right choice. I have no guilt. He wasn't going to get better and I could not bear to see him deteriorate any further. There's no "what if" moments, I did everything I could with him in my care with SubQ fluids, meds and lots of food choices. In the end, I had to say good bye and let him rest pain free.

I opted for private cremation despite my wallet crying. I picked out an urn for him and I will see him again in a week or so. Normally I wouldn't do this for any pets (never did for my dogs growing up), but Monet was extra special, I wanted him back home. The co-op offered to let me bury him in the gardens, but if I should move I wouldn't want to leave him behind.

I am telling my other cat, Cassie, who's 14.5, to never get sick like this. Though, whatever happens I know is out of our control. She's not phased by his lack of presence, she was never bonded with him. I don't think she cares he's gone though there are moments she'd pause and look for him, expecting him to tackle her when she'd leave the litter box. She was confused as to why I put her food down in the kitchen rather than the bedroom (They had to be separated to eat), she'd run into the bedroom for food. She'll figure it out soon.

Mom and I went shopping after the vet. I wasn't ready to go home so quickly. She bought me cookies from Crumbl (honestly not worth the price tag, but still yummy). I'm grateful that she never finished her coffee and drove right out to be with me. The hours of wait until the vet appointment was the hardest. We waited and spent time in the garden together, petting and holding Monet. I don't know what I'd do without her, as I have no one else to turn to. I'd be doing this alone otherwise.

..

Someone on another forum asked me for his "backer card" a few days ago. His history and how he and I came together. This is what I wrote:

In 2009, I had lost my job. Laid off so they could hire an outside company for less. I had just moved out of my parents house into an apartment to be closer to my job. Now I had no income and rent to pay. Unemployment wasn't helping too much, just barely enough for food and necessities but not rent. I am grateful my parents helped me out financially, though I hate asking for money.

I fell into financial depression. My credit cards were mounting higher and higher every day, my rent went on my credit card. You can imagine how high it got (I was out of the job for 9 months, rent was 1,200. a month). I had numerous interviews that told me I am either too overqualified or too under qualified. I'd call my mom every night in tears. I was starting to have thoughts. Yes, serious thoughts.

One day, I decided to look at puppies to cheer me up. I knew I couldn't adopt a puppy in my rental, but dogs always cheered me up. I walk into this tiny shelter, and saw one lone kitten screaming. He was the only cat there, supposedly no one wanted him because he was just so loud. I saw him, he screamed at me. And told the staff I wanted to adopt him. Not even thinking it through, not considering the money, not even knowing a darn thing about cats. In fact, I hated cats. I was one of those "Ew, you let your cat on the counter" people. I knew I had to have him. I didn't even look at the puppies. This was on Memorial Day 2009.

I took him home, and from that moment on I stopped having thoughts and he became my baby. My first cat. My first "real" pet for lack of better terms. Sure, I've had dogs, but they were family pets and my parents took care of them. He supported me until I finally found a job. He helped me through with loves and laughter.

I decided on the name Monet because he's one of my favorite artist. Cassie is actually Picasso, but Picasso was kind of annoying to say and it turned into Cassie. I have a thing when I have pets I like to theme the names. The birds I've grown up with had names after the song Kokomo (I had Kokomo and Aruba). I've had lizards and their names rhymed (Jackie, Lacky, Whacky, Tacky). The cats I decided to name after artists, and I already planned on my next cat to be called Van Gogh, bonus if the ear is tipped.

...

It's hard. My heart hurts and there's a huge Monet-shaped hole. I know over time I will heal, I know each day will get easier and less painful. The pain may never go away, but it'll be less. And I know one day, probably sooner than I expect, I'll invite a new cat or two into my home to love and care for. I will always miss him, think about him and love him.

2009-2024




..

Add on.
I wanted to say thank you to FeebysOwner FeebysOwner , AbbysMom AbbysMom , neely neely , D DeesCats , Meowmee Meowmee and the many others that I could list that supported me and followed me in the past week on my other topic. Please don't be upset if I didn't tag you, you know who you are. You've all had been helpful with educating me and showing me the way through. I have no idea how I would've done this without the support of this site and the people within.

I've donated his medicine, needles, kidney food and his gently used toys to my mom's friend who runs a cattery.View attachment 488335View attachment 488336View attachment 488345View attachment 488346View attachment 488338View attachment 488339View attachment 488340View attachment 488341
I am so sorry for your loss of Monet🤗 💔 you did the right thing for him… He was a gorgeous cat and so loving my Wizard used to sleep right next to me and spoon with me with his paws on my hand every night of his life… Quinn did that the other night, but he was laying next to me not spooning, but he put his paw on my hand, which was so sweet

I love Monet’s name Monet has to be one of my favorite if not, my favorite painter. Van Gogh too 😀

i’m glad your mom was there with you to help you get through this..🤗

I will try to write more later. I’m in a lot of pain because I think I fractured my toe. I have to go to the doctor later. I have to take a painkiller.

Run free Sweet Monet and watch over your mom and Cassie ❤🐾🌈🐈
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Monet, dream you deep. Your purr echos in someone's heart forever.

What a lovely tribute to the years of love that you and Monet shared. I'm sitting here sniffling right now. This is the Deepest Truth I know, that love never dies. It is translated and purified into Love, and continues on. Monet now has a new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, and from that home, he sends his Love back to walk with you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.
 
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