This was a process. I started feeding Squeaky under my car in the driveway in 2013. He would run if you looked at him. I saw the ear notch so I knew he was TNR. From 2013-2019 gradually I coaxed him to eat on my patio behind the house but I really wasn't aiming to bring him in at all. I just wanted to leave the screen door cracked so he could safely eat, drink, and sleep if he wanted.
In December 2019 I heard a blood curling scream outside my bedroom window at night and knew there was a cat fight. I hoped it wasn't him. Went out of town for two weeks, came back and he showed up with his leg swollen to twice the normal size and he just stayed on the patio and licked it all day, even with the screen door cracked open. At this point, he would not run if I opened the sliding door to feed him, but I could not come out there with him or touch him at all.
I had an idea and happened to have a cat carrier that kind of looks like a mailbox with a zipper door on each end. I stuck it in a gap in the sliding door with both sides open and threw out a cat toy ribbon through the carrier in hopes he might chase it. By some miracle and despite his abscessed leg, he did, and when he got in the middle of the carrier, he couldn't see me over top and I just closed up both sides at once and that's how I caught him.
I advised the vet I was bringing in a wild one and get ready because he was angry as hell. The tech probably thought this crazy cat lady didn't know the difference between a stray and a feral and didn't listen when I said it was not a good idea to open that carrier without a net or something. He got out and climbed the wall up the TV monitor screen and it was clear he was going to need a net, some protective gear, and a sedative to help. I just dropped him off and said call me when you're all done. They netted him, sedated him, stitched his leg, gave him antibiotics and shots and I picked his angry self up later that day. They told me judging by his teeth and general condition they estimated he was 12-15 yrs old!!!
I figured once I let him out I'd never see him again but he came back the next day. It was cool out so I started leaving the sliding door open and the screen door closed to the house and let him get acquainted with my other two cats across the screen for several months. He started choosing to sleep out there and I got him a cat tree and a litter box which he figured out very quickly (though still pooped in flower pots too). Over the course of the next year, I started letting him in the house as often as he wanted. I left the door open so he could run back on the patio though. Then I would close the screen door and he'd let me know when he "wanted out". He was fine with the arrangement as long as he could get out when he wanted--but he seemed to want to get in just as often. I made no effort to touch him at all or anything. Just let him do what he wanted.
In late 2020, he was half and half domestic/feral by then. One day, I closed the patio door to the outside and never left it open again. He didn't seem to care. During thunderstorms, he pawed at the sliding glass and wanted in. During lawn care day in the neighborhood, he wanted in. During the 4th of July, he wanted in. Gradually, "in" became the norm, and "patio time" became his nightly "me time" when he could go sleep in the night air, and listen to the night birds and sounds he was familiar with, but now when I open the door, he comes in.
2022- after conquering a re-emergence of dormant parasites (whipworms!) and clearing up a bad ear infection requiring drops (that took months to administer), I finally had him to a point where he would allow me to handle him--but no one else. He needed a dentist because his teeth were obviously bad, bleeding, smelly from 10 ft away, etc. His SDMA values were just below the limit for being able to do the surgery at all and they said he was one of the worst cases of stomatitis they'd seen at that dental hospital. He had all his teeth removed except 3 canines. It was a very long recovery due to his age though.
Now, we estimate he is between 17-20 yrs old. He has hyperthyroidism (in treatment), hypertension (on meds), allergies and pruritus (oral steroids and amitriptyline), allergies to topical flea meds (needs oral ones), asthma (albuterol inhaler) and what else....oh yeah, food sensitivities, IBD and an enlarged heart..and he gets between 2-4 pills a day, depending on the day with the steriods.
In just a few years, this cat who would run when I looked at him now allows me to put him in a carrier and take him 5 hours to my parents' house where he figures out the litter box and food and gets along fine with their two spoiled ragdoll youngsters. He had had eardrops, eyedrops (scratched his cornea itching himself), he's had a cardiac ultrasound, had his teeth brushed in the months before the extraction, he lets me clip his claws and wash his paws in the sink when he steps in his crap because he's an old man and his sight isn't that great anymore...
It was work every single day to bring this cat in on his own terms and be OK with him not wanting to come in if he chose. It's Florida, hot, and dangerous out there, and he's old, so I had to try and hope he would understand my intentions. I think he knows I'm trying to help. Just now, at the 5-year mark, he's decided to start waking me up in the morning by sitting behind my head on the pillow and purring. I know not every outside-to-inside feral situation goes like that, but I'm glad I gave him a chance and went as slowly as necessary.
Pics attached show him as of last week, and you can see on his white leg the scar from where that other cat bit him all the way through his leg years ago.
Come to think of it, I asked another vet the same question a few years ago and got the same answer...
