Fly Free My Beautiful Girl

angels mommy

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As many of you know, I lost my sweet girl Sammie this past Friday, on 12-14-18, after first taking her to the vet on 11-10-18. She had fluid in her chest, & a large mass on her liver.
It was carcinoma. We fought together for a month and just over 3 days.
This is our story and Rainbow Bridge tribute.......

My sweet girl Sammie, you were only in my life for two years, and two and a half months.
It had just been seven months after losing my sweet boy Angel.
I didn't think I'd be ready for another fur baby, for at least a year. I swore by it.
With Angel having been my first, I was so heartbroken. Little did I know that God, Angel, and you, had other plans.
It was Labor day weekend, 2016 when you first showed up on my porch. I had never seen you before, and didn't know where you came from. You wore no collar, but were friendly, and let me sit by you, and pet you. I thought you must belong to someone, or had at one time.
By day two, you were sitting in front of my door looking in. I couldn't resist you, so I opened the door, and said you could come in. You hesitated a little, but then came on in.
Just like Angel, you walked in, walked around checking out the place, then proceeded to lay down on the living room floor, as if to say,"Okay, I'm home."
You stayed for a little while, then you were back on your way. Where that was, I did not know. You continued coming back, until I decided...or should I say, eccepted that you were meant to be with me.
You were so sleek, lean, and beautiful. Your left ear was tipped, but I couldn't see if you were a boy, or a girl, and didn't know if you'd let me look. For some reason, I was feeling that you were a boy. Maybe because I had just had one for six and a half years, that energy was still with me. I kept asking you what your name was, and looking at you, trying to think of one. Then I got Samuel. Sammy for short. ......Boy was I wrong! Yep, I should have seen it in those fluffy little girl cheeks. You were a girl! I thought about changing your name, but you were already learning it, so Sammie it was. We just changed the "y" to an "ie."
It still fit you anyway, because you were sassy and sweet!
I don't think it was even a month before I was taking you to the vet, to have you checked out, vaccinated, and officially made mine.
I truly believe that Angel led you to me. I can't believe that until recently, I never realized that it was exactly seven months to the day, that I said good-by to Angel. Then you showed up. February 5th to September 5th. ...How did I miss that!?
After only getting six and a half years, with Angel, I was so looking forward to having many long years with a healthy kitty. Especially after Angel having gone through so much.
Sadly, that was not our fate.
After a few days of you not eating enough, I knew I had to get you to the vet before you got
in the danger zone. X-Rays showed fluid in your chest. The vet hated telling me that, because that is how it all started with Angel, and she was there with me all of the way.
Ultrasound reviled a large mass on your liver. Test reviled it was carcinoma. My heart sank to my stomach and stayed there. Many tears flowed after.
Two words I now hate. lymphoma, and carcinoma. Both in which fall under the worst of all...Cancer! I was so upset, and also mad. ...I had my "mad at God" moments. He knows everything I went through with Angel. Emotionally, and financially. How could he allow this to be happening again, and so soon with another?
She was supposed to be my health girl after all of that. After some time, the only conclusion I can come up with, is that had she still been on her own, not properly cared for, she would have never gotten the help, and she would have most likely suffered alone. Passing alone and scared, instead of in the presence of love.
I gave her a good home, all the care she needed, and an infinite amount of love.
I treated like the princess she was.
I fought for her, buying as much time as I could for us. She fought for me too, knowing how much I loved her. Eating for me when I held the dish up for her. Knowing that without the Cypro, she probably wouldn't have eaten at all.
Chemo gave me two extra months with Angel. Keeping Sammie's chest drained, gave me an extra month with her.

You were such a good girl. You were such a tough, brave girl.
You went from being able to go outside during the day, to transitioning exceptionally well, when we had to move to your grandma and grampa's house, and you had to stay inside.
Little did you know, that despite all the love mommy gave you, it was about to multiply by two. You were loved and spoiled even more!

I'm so very sorry you were sick my little one.
I wish I could have taken it all away. It was time for you to have your wings.
Play in the sunshine my love, no sickness or pain will ever touch you again.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy.
Fly free my beautiful girl. Until we meet again, you will forever be in my heart.
R.I.P my sweet girl,
Mommy loves you! :hearthrob:


This was the first day you got up on the couch and layed with me. It was just two days after I first let you in.
IMG_20160907_173351469.jpg
There's that silly girl!
IMG_20170812_124914080_HDR.jpg

IMG_20180811_164900412_HDR.jpg

IMG_20181217_171840642.jpg



 
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Kat0121

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Kelly, I'm so sorry that you had to lose your little girl so soon. I completely agree with you that Angel led her to you. He's taking care of her now and they are both watching over you with so much love. You gave her so much when she had nothing and no one. Every cat should be so fortunate. You will see each other again one day. She loves you. She always will. She knew right away that she could trust you and the bond you share is forever. You did everything you possibly could for her and she knows it. RIP sweet Sammie. Give our love to Angel and keep watching over your Mom. :rbheart: :hugs:
 

kittylove53

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Kelly,
Again we find ourselves back on this forum.I am crying as I type this.If there was a way to get to kitty heaven, and hold Sammie in your arms again I would send you there.We will have to wait to be reunited with our beloved kitties.You gave Sammie the greatest two years she ever had.We know the fate she would have suffered out there in the wild.I loved her so very much,I was so happy when she walked into your life.I was hoping that she would have a long life.That was not to be,and we are here again.You helped me through Omelette's death,and were always there for me.Now I am here for you.Sammie was such a beautiful and loving kitty.I will miss her too.She had such an impact on me.Angel and Sammie are watching over you, and will wait until the day they will run into your arms.You are one of the most loving kitty Meowmmies ever your heart is as big as all our oceans,and our heavens.You have given all of the time ,and love to these two kitties who needed you so.They will live on in your heart forever and ever,no one can ever take their precious memories of your love for them away.They are watching over you,and will be there for you still.They know you are sending all the love you shared to them.I am so touched by your story of Sammie's life.Everyone here is grieving along with you.We all want you to know we are here for you always.I am sending out love,and hope to you. Tons of hugs through this screen.This has shocked me to my core,and I wish I could turn all this around.I hope that God will give you the power to get through this.You are not alone.You are a strong and loving person,with a heart as big as the universe.I will stand by you,as all of us here will do.You are a much loved girl here,and we are all here to support you.I miss you darling Sammie.
 
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angels mommy

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Kelly,
Again we find ourselves back on this forum.I am crying as I type this.If there was a way to get to kitty heaven, and hold Sammie in your arms again I would send you there.We will have to wait to be reunited with our beloved kitties.You gave Sammie the greatest two years she ever had.We know the fate she would have suffered out there in the wild.I loved her so very much,I was so happy when she walked into your life.I was hoping that she would have a long life.That was not to be,and we are here again.You helped me through Omelette's death,and were always there for me.Now I am here for you.Sammie was such a beautiful and loving kitty.I will miss her too.She had such an impact on me.Angel and Sammie are watching over you, and will wait until the day they will run into your arms.You are one of the most loving kitty Meowmmies ever your heart is as big as all our oceans,and our heavens.You have given all of the time ,and love to these two kitties who needed you so.They will live on in your heart forever and ever,no one can ever take their precious memories of your love for them away.They are watching over you,and will be there for you still.They know you are sending all the love you shared to them.I am so touched by your story of Sammie's life.Everyone here is grieving along with you.We all want you to know we are here for you always.I am sending out love,and hope to you. Tons of hugs through this screen.This has shocked me to my core,and I wish I could turn all this around.I hope that God will give you the power to get through this.You are not alone.You are a strong and loving person,with a heart as big as the universe.I will stand by you,as all of us here will do.You are a much loved girl here,and we are all here to support you.I miss you darling Sammie.
Thank you Barbra, that was beautiful! XO!!
 

will2002

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So very sorry for your loss. It never gets any easier to let one go.

Your Angel and Sammie have a lot of good company across that old bridge. They have my Garfield, Rambo, Rocky, and my best ever boy Casper, just to name a very few. What I would give to have them, and several others all setting around me here tonight.
 

DreamerRose

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Oh, Kelly, I was so sorry to see this thread - it brought me to tears, too. You went through so much. That and your sweet tribute. It's so difficult to lose loved ones. I hope the future brings you another one, person or cat, to love again. I know you aren't ready for this now, which is as it should be. But i do want the best for you, and that means having someone or something to love.
 
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Kat0121

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Oh, Kelly, I was so sorry to see this thread - it brought me to tears, too. You went through so much. That and your sweet tribute. It's so difficult to lose loved ones. I hope the future brings you another one, person or cat, to love again. I know you aren't ready for this now, which is as it should be. But i do want the best for you, and that means having someone or something to love.
I agree. The time is not now, but when it is, Angel and Sammie will guide someone to you whether it be human, feline or both. Right now, they are getting better acquainted and talking about how fortunate they both were to have you in their lives. :hugs:
 
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angels mommy

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Oh, Kelly, I was so sorry to see this thread - it brought me to tears, too. You went through so much. That and your sweet tribute. It's so difficult to lose loved ones. I hope the future brings you another one, person or cat, to love again. I know you aren't ready for this now, which is as it should be. But i do want the best for you, and that means having someone or something to love.
Thank you. Yes, it will be a good while. I really HAVE to get that care credit paid off once & for all! I will not get another until then. Then, I will get pet insurance, so I don't have to use that. I think I'm pretty safe form "being adopted" again here. In my old neighborhood there were strays, & that's how both of my babies came to me. I think they liked my porch, because it was up high.
I also have to get my own place again before I can get another.


 

jcat

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After some time, the only conclusion I can come up with, is that had she still been on her own, not properly cared for, she would have never gotten the help, and she would have most likely suffered alone. Passing alone and scared, instead of in the presence of love.
I gave her a good home, all the care she needed, and an infinite amount of love.
:rbheart::rbheart:
Hold on to that thought. Although your time together was way too short, you made all the difference in the world to Sammie. :rbheart::rbheart:


:hugs::hugs::hugs:
 

di and bob

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To have opened your heart once again, only to have it broken again way too soon, is utterly devastating. Any time we open ourselves up to love we know we will realize pain at some point in the future. It is life, and will always be......
That sweet little girl was in your life for a reason. I firmly believe that Angel guided Sammie to you, he knew what that little girl needed and he knew that you would provide the care and the love she needed, that you would not, could not, let her be alone during that time. And you came through. Now you have two little blessings to remember, to be thankful for, just because their physical presence is no longer in your life, the thankfulness and the love they gave to you will reside in your heart and soul forever. They will be forever as close as your thoughts and prayers.
There will come a time in the future when another little one will be sent your way. And once more you will not be able to close your heart to one in need. Because that is what your soul needs, another little one to love and cherish, to add to the loves you have already gained and who now are a part of you. Both Sammie and Angel will make sure of this. Love and finding the joy in life will once more fill that empty spot in your life, because nature abhors a vacuum and for every second of pain and grief you are going through there will be rewards a hundredfold for someone as loving and caring as you to fill that emptiness. You were so blessed to have had them in your life, and they in yours. To have never known them at all would have been a tragic loss. And though it hurts so very bad to have to let them go, your soul is richer for it. What they brought to your life will forever change your path into the future and make you a better person because of it. Time will help with the pain, try not to dwell on the grief, but the joy they brought to you. Your precious memories will bring you comfort when you need it and bring them closer to your heart.
My heart cries for your pain. But at the same time it rejoices that Sammie found you, was guided your way. Because you gave her what she desired most in her world, someone to love who loves her back. Take care of yourself, we are here if you need us, let us share your grief and mourn with you, it helps to share a burden to make it lighter.......RIP sweet Sammie. You will never be forgotten, you will forever reside in a loving heart. May Angel meet you at the Rainbow Bridge, and together you slumber in that perfect patch of sunshine. May the good Lord bless and keep you until you meet the one who loves you so much once again!
 

les26

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss of that beautiful girl, you and her were meant to find each other and you took care of her as good as anyone could, it is just sad to know that your time with her is over now but you will see her again one day and it will be wonderful.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless.....:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Sweet Sammie, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on your mama's heart forever.

So soon, too soon, but...where there is love, eternity is not long enough, is it? I say this over and over, but it is the deepest Truth that I know. Love does not die, ever. It only changes form and continues on, still Love. Love abides. Although we miss their physical presence with a desperation born of grief, still their Love remains with us, always. Always. Love abides.
 
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angels mommy

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Aww, thanks guys. Yes, that was the one I put on Angel for that picture. .....got it by the 10th shot! ;)
I wanted to put it on backwards as a bow for Sammie for a picture, but she was just looking too sad. :(

Well.....we know it comes in waves, and one hit me this morning. I was opening the blinds on the back door, and with the sun shinning bright there, it reminded me of standing there holding her, her sweet little head on my chest, singing you are my sunshine to her, ....."que the tears!" Yep!
 
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