Feeling rejected by my cat!

[hannahe01]

Hey y’all. I’m not really sure where to begin and I feel really silly writing or thinking this. I’m hoping I’m not alone in feeling this way.
I’ve had my cat for two years. He’s never been the type to be super affectionate and lovey (except when he was a small kitten.) but he would always at least sleep on my bed either on my stomach, on some part of my body, or right beside me. Every night. And every morning he’d wake me up for pets and licks.

he’s stopped doing it altogether now. He sleeps on his cat tree, his carrier (which he’s done since kitten hood) or sometimeson the top shelf of our closet. He’s a climber. I just don’t understand why he’s stopped sleeping with me. He rarely seeks out affection from me anymore and is definitely more of a “keep to himself” type of cat as he’s gotten older.

lately I’ve been seeking him out for pets and loves and play. Maybe I’m smothering him. Is this a thing? Sometimes when I try too hard to get him to play he gets annoyed and walks away. He still plays everyday. Sometimes a lot and sometimes not very much. I just miss how he used to seem to want to be with me. Now it’s like he wants nothing to do with me! I give him any and everything he could possibly want and then some. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.

It sounds so silly to say but I’m feeling super rejected here.

 

[di and bob]

I can relate.....cats are very independent creatures, that is why apartment living, working people get them. But when we crave attention and love, some cats are more independent than others. Usually, neutered boys are a lot more affectionate than females. But you happened to get one that isn't. Kittens are affectionate and crave love, and as they get older I have had many get standoffish. they reject my husband more than me, and I always tell them, "he is THAT close to getting a dog if you don't get on his lap!" You really can't make him be more lovey, you might try ignoring him for a while, cats feel threatened when too much attention is lavished on them. That is why they gravitate towards people who don't like cats, they don't feel threatened. Offer treats and leave them when you go so he can develop an interest in you being there. He may change again, you just never know. Or you might get a kitten to make him jealous and for you to have something to focus on. A boy would be a buddy for him. You just COULD"T get two standoffish ones could you?! Look for a friendly, active one...

 

[hannahe01]

I can relate.....cats are very independent creatures, that is why apartment living, working people get them. But when we crave attention and love, some cats are more independent than others. Usually, neutered boys are a lot more affectionate than females. But you happened to get one that isn't. Kittens are affectionate and crave love, and as they get older I have had many get standoffish. they reject my husband more than me, and I always tell them, "he is THAT close to getting a dog if you don't get on his lap!" You really can't make him be more lovey, you might try ignoring him for a while, cats feel threatened when too much attention is lavished on them. That is why they gravitate towards people who don't like cats, they don't feel threatened. Offer treats and leave them when you go so he can develop an interest in you being there. He may change again, you just never know. Or you might get a kitten to make him jealous and for you to have something to focus on. A boy would be a buddy for him. You just COULD"T get two standoffish ones could you?! Look for a friendly, active one...

Lol he doesn’t do well with other cats unfortunately. We tried that. He was much happier on his own and less stressed. Ever since the addition of the other cat and then inevitably having to rehome her he’s been way less affectionate towards me but more affectionate towards my fiancé who he didn’t care for much before. Cats are confusing.

 

[di and bob]

Yes, they are very complicated creatures!

 

[Babypinkweeb]

I can totally relate. My boy was always kind of 'take it or leave it' personality which I was mostly ok with since he likes to be close at least. I'm a light sleeper so I'm actually happy he doesn't try to sleep on my small bed haha! I definitely have rejected feeling when it comes to pets though.... He rarely craves attention for pets which is so unfair since he has the softest fur ever!! Recently we had a successfully introduced second cat and he's become even less attention seeking from me. Hopefully he will calm down eventually and come back for his rare scritches sessions, but for now all I can do is give him space. I think if your cat is open to your loving it's ok, but my boy does get annoyed at me if I try to hang around him petting him when he's not feeling it, so I would hang back as to not make the situation worse.