Feeling Guilty About Medicating Cat

darcifinn

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My 12 year old girl is having a rough time. For three months the vet told us she has a scratch on her eye and it was cleared up. I did not believe it so I took her to a ophthalmologist. She has uveitis and was just tested positive for toxoplasmosis. I have her quarantined in the spare bedroom and I have to give her 16 eyedrops a day. They are starting her on clindamycin tomorrow. The doctor believes she’s going to get better but it might be a month of quarantine. I have to quarantine her because she is near impossible to catch. In the spare bedroom she has hiding places but no place that I actually cannot get hold of her. I feel so guilty having her locked up in the room. I’m lucky in that I work from home and can spend about four hours a day with her in the room. I just feel guilty that she will most likely be here a month. Has anyone experienced this?
 

Monk'sMom

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"Has anyone experienced this? "
If by "this" you mean guilt, you bet. I feel guilty for every discomfort I must cause my kitties for their own good. This includes most medical matters and even leaving them alone for more than a few hours.
Guilt is part of parenting, whether it's parenting young humans or others....
Chin up. You are doing what has to be done. Your cat will adjust, and then re-adjust once she is out of quarantine. it is *you* who will need the hand-holding, and I offer it here :hellocomputer:

Meanwhile give her all the time you are able.
 
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darcifinn

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"Has anyone experienced this? "
If by "this" you mean guilt, you bet. I feel guilty for every discomfort I must cause my kitties for their own good. This includes most medical matters and even leaving them alone for more than a few hours.
Guilt is part of parenting, whether it's parenting young humans or others....
Chin up. You are doing what has to be done. Your cat will adjust, and then re-adjust once she is out of quarantine. it is *you* who will need the hand-holding, and I offer it here :hellocomputer:

Meanwhile give her all the time you are able.
Thank you so much that is exactly what I needed read!!!
 

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It's understandable, my Radar is confined in the bedroom while he has a feeding tube in - he needed to be easy to get to for feeds and bandage changes (he has his carrier as a hidey hole, but I can unclip the top of that if I need to get to him at any point - also I haven't had to tube feed him for a week now, hopefully if the vet confirms he's not lost weight this week, he can have it removed Monday). Also he can't rough and tumble with the others until he is better, it would be too easy for the tube to get pulled out during play.

Although it has all been necessary, he was in pain before the initial surgery and something had to be done - I have tremendous feelings of guilt about putting him through pain and hospital stays and long journeys to and from the hospital, being confined to the bedroom, and being held to have his bandage changed etc. He still adores me though, he clearly bears me no ill will at all.
 
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darcifinn

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It's understandable, my Radar is confined in the bedroom while he has a feeding tube in - he needed to be easy to get to for feeds and bandage changes (he has his carrier as a hidey hole, but I can unclip the top of that if I need to get to him at any point - also I haven't had to tube feed him for a week now, hopefully if the vet confirms he's not lost weight this week, he can have it removed Monday). Also he can't rough and tumble with the others until he is better, it would be too easy for the tube to get pulled out during play.

Although it has all been necessary, he was in pain before the initial surgery and something had to be done - I have tremendous feelings of guilt about putting him through pain and hospital stays and long journeys to and from the hospital, being confined to the bedroom, and being held to have his bandage changed etc. He still adores me though, he clearly bears me no ill will at all.
Oh wow I am so sorry he is going through that. My girl is ok when I am not giving her medicine but so many eye drops it just feels cruel. If this was to go on the rest of her life I think it would be better to take the eye.
 

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I hope, for your sake and hers both, that it's not a life long thing but if it is keep in mind that cats are (IMO) much more adaptable than we give them credit for...domestic cats live any way from feral colonies to apartments to palaces.
It would be way harder if you were unable to spend those 4 hours a day with her and only had time to pop in a few times, deliver the eye drops, then scoot out of the room. She may not love the drops or quarantine, but the situation for what she's going through sounds as ideal as it could be. (At least she doesn't have to be quarantined away from home at the vets for a month, etc.)!

If there's something she likes--canned food, treats, toys, petting, whatever--I'd deliver that immediately after the eye drops and thank her out loud, if not for her benefit but for yours, too!
 

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Oh wow I am so sorry he is going through that. My girl is ok when I am not giving her medicine but so many eye drops it just feels cruel. If this was to go on the rest of her life I think it would be better to take the eye.
I agree, if they stand a good chance of getting better and having a few more years of happy life, then at least you have to try even if it means some short-term discomfort and inconvenience for the both of you. Radar is around the same age as your girl, and although this has been difficult he still behaves like a normal happy cat, he has good quality of life even during treatment, a great chance of full recovery, and hopefully another few happy years ahead of him. I wouldn't do this if it was terminal or he was in a lot of pain just to extend his life for my benefit.

Lots of love to you and your kitty. Eye drops and being in confinement during recovery isn't that bad, she'll forget about it once she is better, don't feel bad about it please. xx
 
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darcifinn

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I hope, for your sake and hers both, that it's not a life long thing but if it is keep in mind that cats are (IMO) much more adaptable than we give them credit for...domestic cats live any way from feral colonies to apartments to palaces.
It would be way harder if you were unable to spend those 4 hours a day with her and only had time to pop in a few times, deliver the eye drops, then scoot out of the room. She may not love the drops or quarantine, but the situation for what she's going through sounds as ideal as it could be. (At least she doesn't have to be quarantined away from home at the vets for a month, etc.)!

If there's something she likes--canned food, treats, toys, petting, whatever--I'd deliver that immediately after the eye drops and thank her out loud, if not for her benefit but for yours, too!
Thanks as soon as she gets the drops she gets bonito and brushing. Then she purrs. We lost our boy to chylothorax in August so I am sure some of my anxiety is due to that.
 
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darcifinn

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I agree, if they stand a good chance of getting better and having a few more years of happy life, then at least you have to try even if it means some short-term discomfort and inconvenience for the both of you. Radar is around the same age as your girl, and although this has been difficult he still behaves like a normal happy cat, he has good quality of life even during treatment, a great chance of full recovery, and hopefully another few happy years ahead of him. I wouldn't do this if it was terminal or he was in a lot of pain just to extend his life for my benefit.

Lots of love to you and your kitty. Eye drops and being in confinement during recovery isn't that bad, she'll forget about it once she is better, don't feel bad about it please. xx
Than you do much for you supportive words they mean more than you know. My husband has a pretty tough job - he is over SWAT in a violent city - so so try not put this on him.
 

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Thanks as soon as she gets the drops she gets bonito and brushing. Then she purrs. We lost our boy to chylothorax in August so I am sure some of my anxiety is due to that.
Understood.
We've lost many over the years to various things and whenever the slightest possibility of that repeat happens, anxiety kicks in.
We know it doesn't help them but sometimes that feeling is unavoidable.
It sounds like you're doing a superb job, and I'm not just saying that. She's one lucky little gal.
 

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Than you do much for you supportive words they mean more than you know. My husband has a pretty tough job - he is over SWAT in a violent city - so so try not put this on him.
Sounds tough alright....tougher than what I could deal with =/
Thanks to him for what he does from us to you.:redheartpump:

Laying this problem on him as a *problem* that needs immediate action (from him) is one thing that might add more unnecessary stress and create a rift....but remember that exclusion from problems experienced with those you love can feel like isolation. It sounds like a very tough job your husband has, but I an only imagine that his sense of social (human) isolation is great. I don't know.
Maybe a casual mention that "stuff" is going on with this cat that's worrying you wouldn't be a bad thing, to keep the lines of communication open without causing him undue worry would be a good thing. There's no need to blow it out of proportion, as the cat sounds happy and (VERY!) well cared for, but depending on his stress level and stuff, keeping him in the "know" of what's going on in your emotional life without blowing it out of proportion might actually help keep him grounded and tied to living beings he loves.
JMO. I'm not forcing anything on your or telling you what to do of course. Just throwing that "human/loved one" contact point out there for future reference. :dunno:
 

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Oh yes! I have certainly felt the same way. I have a cat that is skittish and senses when medicine is coming his way and will hide very well. I know he hates it. He hates going to the vet, but I know that if I don't try, he's going to die. He has hyperthyroid.

My cat Booberry was initially a regular stray that we fed. Back in 2013 he was gone for a while and then came back clearly lame. We made the decision to bring him in when the weather turned rainy, windy and cold. We took him to the vet and learned he had a fractured pelvis. The vet encouraged us to put him to sleep, but we would not. She only saw many expensive surgeries. Turns out the surgical specialist said he simply needed cage rest and room rest with easy access to food and littler box but no stress, no interaction, no stairs no anything for 8 weeks!

I would spend an hour with him, let him rest come back spend another hour with him. As he healed he wanted to explore and I couldn't let him. This was a kitty that had a tom cat size territory in the big outdoors and now he lived in my spare bedroom with only a brushing, visiting and chats to keep him occupied. But it was necessary for his recovery.

I think that your solution is a brilliant one to make sure she gets the medication she needs. At some level, even though they fight it like little kids, the cats may understand we are trying to help, even though they balk and complain.
 
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darcifinn

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Sounds tough alright....tougher than what I could deal with =/
Thanks to him for what he does from us to you.:redheartpump:

Laying this problem on him as a *problem* that needs immediate action (from him) is one thing that might add more unnecessary stress and create a rift....but remember that exclusion from problems experienced with those you love can feel like isolation. It sounds like a very tough job your husband has, but I an only imagine that his sense of social (human) isolation is great. I don't know.
Maybe a casual mention that "stuff" is going on with this cat that's worrying you wouldn't be a bad thing, to keep the lines of communication open without causing him undue worry would be a good thing. There's no need to blow it out of proportion, as the cat sounds happy and (VERY!) well cared for, but depending on his stress level and stuff, keeping him in the "know" of what's going on in your emotional life without blowing it out of proportion might actually help keep him grounded and tied to living beings he loves.
JMO. I'm not forcing anything on your or telling you what to do of course. Just throwing that "human/loved one" contact point out there for future reference. :dunno:
He knows he was there for the consultation with the opthamologist. He has also been giving the boys extra loving - whoops I did not mention we have to kittens. It is just my anxiety and guilt are something he doesn’t relate too. He knows I am doing what is best for her and since he doesn’t see her whimper when she sees the eye drops I don’t think he gets my guilt.
 
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darcifinn

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Oh yes! I have certainly felt the same way. I have a cat that is skittish and senses when medicine is coming his way and will hide very well. I know he hates it. He hates going to the vet, but I know that if I don't try, he's going to die. He has hyperthyroid.

My cat Booberry was initially a regular stray that we fed. Back in 2013 he was gone for a while and then came back clearly lame. We made the decision to bring him in when the weather turned rainy, windy and cold. We took him to the vet and learned he had a fractured pelvis. The vet encouraged us to put him to sleep, but we would not. She only saw many expensive surgeries. Turns out the surgical specialist said he simply needed cage rest and room rest with easy access to food and littler box but no stress, no interaction, no stairs no anything for 8 weeks!

I would spend an hour with him, let him rest come back spend another hour with him. As he healed he wanted to explore and I couldn't let him. This was a kitty that had a tom cat size territory in the big outdoors and now he lived in my spare bedroom with only a brushing, visiting and chats to keep him occupied. But it was necessary for his recovery.

I think that your solution is a brilliant one to make sure she gets the medication she needs. At some level, even though they fight it like little kids, the cats may understand we are trying to help, even though they balk and complain.
That is an amazing story. I am so glad you gave Booberry a second chance at life. My girl predates my husband. I got her as a kitten. She is the black kitten in the picture. We recently rescued to kittens from Kuwait. One has no voice and Feline herpes but they said he will most likely outgrow that the other is a Maine Coon. Audie, Maine Coon comes in and keeps Darci and I company. The Vet said it was ok but I am keeping Jax with my husband as he has been a bit sniffly. They are about 7 months now. The black pile of blanket in the back is Darci curled up in the back of spare room closet and Audie watching over her.
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