Feeling Guilt And Emotion I Never Felt Before

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Cobysmom1005

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My condolences.

I'm sure Coby doesn't feel let down. In fact, I think you did him a favor. If he was suffering and miserable, at least you know he isn't anymore. How do you know that he could have made it through the treatments or even through the night? He is in a better place now; he can run freely and enjoy himself, not held back by any illness or age restrictions. Maybe he is meeting his ol' littermates, too. ;)

Your buddy would hate to see you like this. Stay strong, my friend. We all know the feeling. :alright:
Thank you. I have his ashes on the dresser in my room surrounded by his pictures when he was healthier. Its still very hard. I think of him all the time. The guilt and grief are still overwhelming at times. I hope that he is with his littermates or friends and they are having a good time.
 
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Cobysmom1005

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Sorry for you loss....

We lost our Little Girl recently and we are devastated.... She was an outside stray and was about four years old, our guess. We cared for her about two of those years so we are sure she knew we cared.
We are thinking of a replacement adoption but not right away!

poikaa and butterfly
I am very sorry for your loss. Wow..17 years.. You have a lot of memories. Try to think of them more than him not being around. We are the ones privileged to have them in our lives. :) I know it's not easy. It's taken me a long time to even be able to speak Meela's name without crying. Now I am finding myself smiling when I say her name (most times) and I try to attach a happy memory of her so that I don't
I am very sorry for your loss. Wow..17 years.. You have a lot of memories. Try to think of them more than him not being around. We are the ones privileged to have them in our lives. :) I know it's not easy. It's taken me a long time to even be able to speak Meela's name without crying. Now I am finding myself smiling when I say her name (most times) and I try to attach a happy memory of her so that I don't cry.
cry.[/QUO
Thank you. Yes he was the most loving sweetest cat ever. All he ever did was want to be near me and I think thats what makes it harder. But I know he lived a long life. Im sorry about your meela.
 
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Cobysmom1005

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You are not crazy at all, you are grieving the loss of someone very important to you, and your world is turned upside down. I couldn't even sleep in my own bed for over a month, just because that is where my Chrissy slept next to me. I had to take Benadryl to sleep, because sleep wouldn't come, and I truly didn't think I would ever think of her without bursting into tears. But time heals even the worst of wounds, and time has helped.
Im trying to have positive thoughts about him today but some days its harder than others. Today im pretty emotional and cant help but think about him without crying. I know time will heal and its still all fresh to me.
 

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Im trying to have positive thoughts about him today but some days its harder than others. Today im pretty emotional and cant help but think about him without crying. I know time will heal and its still all fresh to me.

My wife STILL cannot talk about our dog Rusty, a cockapoo she had before and while we were married without crying and he passed in 1995.

If you care, truly care and loved them, it hits hard....
 
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Cobysmom1005

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My wife STILL cannot talk about our dog Rusty, a cockapoo she had before and while we were married without crying and he passed in 1995.

If you care, truly care and loved them, it hits hard....
Hi Les26,

Im sorry about your dog Rusty. But I agree. Coby was definitely a special one. Theres always one that gets under your skin more than others and for me Coby was it. Its very, very difficult to process. I think of his face and I just want to cry.
 

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Hi Les26,

Im sorry about your dog Rusty. But I agree. Coby was definitely a special one. Theres always one that gets under your skin more than others and for me Coby was it. Its very, very difficult to process. I think of his face and I just want to cry.
You are right, I was hit so hard by Simon's passing and then Sebastian's which will be 2 years ago on the 23rd coming up. And I already know when Sylvester's time comes up, and I hope it is not for a long time yet as he is only about 5.5 but as we read on here anything is possible, I know I will be devastated, and I know that I am setting myself up for tremendous heartbreak and heartache because of it but I am willing to take that chance, he is so very special to me, a constant reminder of those two boys everyday but a great cat in his own right, I am so very, very attached to him but I don't care, I love him up and when he goes, well, I'll be a wreck, and that is putting it mildly, but it is a chance I chose to take.

I hope you feel better each day, it is still so fresh in your mind and heart, God Bless......:alright: :rbheart:
 

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Im trying to have positive thoughts about him today but some days its harder than others. Today im pretty emotional and cant help but think about him without crying. I know time will heal and its still all fresh to me.
I know what you mean. I lost Tiger about 6 weeks ago and I still have bad days where I miss him so much and all I want to do is be able to cuddle with him. Eventually you will have more days that you feel better. :alright:
 
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Cobysmom1005

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You are right, I was hit so hard by Simon's passing and then Sebastian's which will be 2 years ago on the 23rd coming up. And I already know when Sylvester's time comes up, and I hope it is not for a long time yet as he is only about 5.5 but as we read on here anything is possible, I know I will be devastated, and I know that I am setting myself up for tremendous heartbreak and heartache because of it but I am willing to take that chance, he is so very special to me, a constant reminder of those two boys everyday but a great cat in his own right, I am so very, very attached to him but I don't care, I love him up and when he goes, well, I'll be a wreck, and that is putting it mildly, but it is a chance I chose to take.

I hope you feel better each day, it is still so fresh in your mind and heart, God Bless......:alright: :rbheart:
Hi Les and everyone,

Today im just having a very bad day so I wanted to come here and write. Idk if its cause the holidays are coming up or what but the guilt has come over me again even though I am trying to think that I did the right thing I still feel very down. Its been about a month and i felt better some days but other days I just feel awful. I miss him so so much. I feel so lost with out him around. Thank you for taking the time to listen.
 

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Hi Les and everyone,

Today im just having a very bad day so I wanted to come here and write. Idk if its cause the holidays are coming up or what but the guilt has come over me again even though I am trying to think that I did the right thing I still feel very down. Its been about a month and i felt better some days but other days I just feel awful. I miss him so so much. I feel so lost with out him around. Thank you for taking the time to listen.
Yes the Holidays can REALLY magnify it, tomorrow is 2 years Sebastian passed and I still feel it and probably always will, but like I said in the post about him (you might feel better if you read that one) time has very much softened the sting of the badness, and it will for you also.

I hope you feel better more than bad, and with time you will, the sun DOES come out again and you are released from the darkness, all in good time...all in good time.....:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
 

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I'm sorry you are feeling bad today. I wish there was something that would make the hurt go away. I read a quote recently that says you don't heal from loss because time passes. You heal because of what you do with the time. Be kind to yourself and try to let go of the guilt. I know that is a very hard thing to do. Sending you hugs :hugs:
 
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Cobysmom1005

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Yes the Holidays can REALLY magnify it, tomorrow is 2 years Sebastian passed and I still feel it and probably always will, but like I said in the post about him (you might feel better if you read that one) time has very much softened the sting of the badness, and it will for you also.

I hope you feel better more than bad, and with time you will, the sun DOES come out again and you are released from the darkness, all in good time...all in good time.....:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
Hi Les 26,

Thank you. I hope you are okay today also. I know yesterday was a hard day for you. Im ok for a little while but then I just get sad sitting at work. Im trying to block out the last day when i scooped him in the carrier off to the vets for the last time. It just hurts so much. id give anything to tell him im sorry. I try to not look at it that way but it is difficult not to. Thank you for listening
 
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Cobysmom1005

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I'm sorry you are feeling bad today. I wish there was something that would make the hurt go away. I read a quote recently that says you don't heal from loss because time passes. You heal because of what you do with the time. Be kind to yourself and try to let go of the guilt. I know that is a very hard thing to do. Sending you hugs :hugs:
Hi Kitty Mommy,

It just hurts so much sometimes. Ill be sitting just thinking at work and all of a sudden and the guilty thoughts sweep in...what if i could of done this, or could i have done that and i shouldve done better for him. I know it takes time. I know its healthy to grieve but at the same time i just want to feel better but then i blame myself for even trying to feel better. Like how dare i try to feel any better after what happened. The kidney failure just took him so quick from me. He was alright the week before and then the next he wasnt. He looked miserable. Wouldnt even lift his head to look at me. It was like he wasn't even there anymore. Its just all very hard to grasp.
 
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