Feeing horrendously guilty for putting my cat to sleep

trevor r

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To try and make a long story short, Binx was an eight year old cat who had FLUTD (Feline Lower Urinary Tract). I first noticed something was very wrong when he was unable to urinate. I rushed him to the vet and discovered not only did he have a blockage, it was so severe the vet described it as his bladder being full of “beach sand.” He had to make an incision and clean out the bladder. He also performed a perineal urethrostomy. Unfortunately Binx had some very major complications and it took him eight weeks to heal from a procedure that should have taken two weeks.
Things seemed to go okay for several months after he healed from the surgery. I switched him to a prescription diet to prevent further issues. But then he was back into the vet for bladder inflammation. He received some steroids as well as a booster a week later. That seemed to help for about four months. He was back into the vet for attempting to urinate, but not producing much urine. The vet expressed his bladder and it was full of bloody urine. He said it was cystitis. The vet gave him more steroids and two weeks later gave him a booster. Unfortunately Binx was still straining to urinate. He’d urinate both inside and outside the litter box looking for relief. The vet said we could try daily steroids, but that Binx’s problems may be genetic in origin. I felt as though his issues were chronic and his quality of life wasn’t the best. Sure he had an appetite, and he still enjoyed my company, but he was also lethargic and clearly urinating was painful. I scheduled an appointment to have him put to sleep. I stayed with him the entire time before taking him home to bury him. However now that he’s gone I feel unbearable grief. I feel at eight years old he died too soon and it’s my fault. I should have tried to do more for him.
 

Draco

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It is not your fault! You did all you could for dear Binx. He was in pain, he struggled- the kindest thing you did was to free him of his pains.

Do not feel guilty, I am sure he's looking from above and thanking you for all the love, care and support you gave him.
 

John Perram

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You made the correct choice. Sometimes we must think of the cat and not our emotion's. Binx enjoyed 8 long years with a loving human. Many cats never ever experience that. Time will heal your wounds. Never forget the love you shared.
 

EthanB

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I'm so sorry to hear about Binx. We are currently going through a situation with our 7 year old cat Jax and are having to consider the possibility of having to put him down. It's probably the toughest thing I've been faced with and I think it's completely normal to feel grief and that you could have done more. I'm feeling the same way right now but also don't want him to be suffering. There is no right answer when deciding when to put your cat down. It sounds like you did everything you possibly could and cared greatly about him and that says a lot.
 

fionasmom

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I am sorry for your loss. As others have said, you did the right thing for Binx. Over the years I have lost young cats to medical conditions which were becoming worse and unresolved by treatment. You always think as you do....they were too young and there must have been something I could have done and then you are off and running.

Remember too that our domestic animals remain stoic about pain which is a left over response from the days when their ancestors had to hide illness in order to survive. Your belief that Binx's quality of life was not good was probably entirely correct, sadly.

He lived a good and well loved life with you and for that he is entirely grateful.
 

di and bob

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There has always been a saying that I have clung to in times like this, "better a day too soon than a day too late".....There is no way you could let that sweet boy suffer. Daily steroids work with some cancers like tumors, etc., and may have been a short-term solution for a while, but the biggest side effect of them is kidney failure and your sweet Binx was already compromised. It truly sounds like you and your vet did try about all there was to be tried, I believe it sounds like a genetic problem too, and really nothing more could be done. I have lost so many because there are so many, and the pain you go through each and every time is just as sharp and hurtful as the first time. I tend to rely on my vet's instincts at times like these, and most are unwilling to let suffering go on. They have seen too much....
You will always have a connection with Binx, the bond of love you built over those 8 years can never be taken from you. Try not to dwell on all those should haves, could haves, they always come with grief because none of us are perfect and there are no instructions on how to go through something like this. We all muddle through the best we can. but we are here to tell you it DOES get better, but time is the only thing that helps dull the sharp edges of a broken heart. Keep busy, and allow another little love to enter your heart and reside right next to Binx's in time. It actually strengthens the love you two shared and makes it even more special. Every love is as unique and beautiful as a snowflake, and just as fragile. Bu8t don't harden your heart because life demands that we live life to the fullest and loving another is a part of that. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. so go forward and live your life as you would want Binx to if you were the first to go. He wants no less, that is love. Grieve because you have to, there is a huge hole in your life right now. But fill that hole with whatever happiness comes your way and it will heal in time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both, I know how much this hurts. We are here anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or lend you strength when you fall. We are all family in our love for these special little ones. May you be blessed for loving so much.....
RIP sweet Binx. you will be dearly missed. You will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again.
 
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