Fairwell Admiral...

[Graceful-Lily]

Oh, my poor sweet Admiral...

I don't know how to start this. Finding the words to describe this feeling is the hardest part. My insides feel like they are out of place. I feel like I'm not 100% present in the moment. My whole body feels like it's floating. I'm trying so hard not to cry - I'm afraid to let these feelings in. I wish I wasn't sitting here now writing this.

I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you in time, Admiral Jellybean. I'm sorry you had to suffer outside on the streets for so long before you got help. I'm sorry you never got to experience love or compassion. I'm sorry everyone in this area never gave you a second thought and treated you like you weren't important. I'm sorry I never got to say good-bye. Had I known I'd never see you again, I would have let you know how much you meant to me before the veterinary technician took you away.

I wish you knew how special you were. A street cat that no one cared to love. No one else will cry for you except for me tonight. I'm not upset, I know you couldn't fight anymore and that's okay. You survived for so many years outside, year after year after year. Thank you for walking into the trap. Thank you for giving me a chance to save you. Thank you for not running away. I will always remember you - you can count on that. You don't have to suffer anymore. I'm trying to not cry as I type but I cannot express in words how it feels to know that you never got a chance to experience real love. Please understand that you were not worthless, you were not just a street cat, you meant so much more to me.

I will not let your death be in vain. I will continue to fight for every cat in your colony. I will continue to advocate for cats just like you. I will do everything I can because you have opened my eyes and showed me things I cannot turn away from.

I love you so much. I will miss seeing you walking around the neighbourhood. The Jamestown Jellybeans lost a noble and strong member. We won't be the same without you.

Farewell my good friend,
Until we meet again...

 

[Lari]

Beautiful tribute.

May Admiral Jellybean be running young and healthy across the Rainbow Bridge.

 

[di and bob]

He was so fortunate to have someone in his life to remember and mourn him. His life was not in vain, he had you to care and to pass on through this beautiful tribute what he meant to one who did take the time......
There are so many like him out there, it makes my heart cry to think about it. You could be talking about so many. Most of their lives do end in tragedy, because nature is cruel and to be born unwanted and unloved is the cruelest of all. That is why TNR is so important, having every kitten and puppy spayed and neutered so needed. To avoid lives of starvation and hardship. But remember, he had you, and for him that was enough. You ended the pain and suffering, and for that he will always be greateful. This will be a part of you forever. This will find a beautiful place in your soul. You did well.
you will NOT be the only one who cries for that precious little one. Because you took the time to come here, to tell his story, there will be many who mourn him now. Because of our love for cats, because so many have lost one exactly like him, because we know the pain of being helpless and unable to save them all. Because we care.....RIP beautiful Admiral. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a place in a loving heart, May teh good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[Leomc123]

Your tribute is beautiful, and i am sorry admiral jellybean passed away, it isnt sad that you are the only person who is sad for him, i think its a blessing as you were the one chosen to look after and love him and that is the most wonderfull thing you both had to share. All the cats i have owned were stray cats that just came along and decided to hang around with me for a long time and that is a blessing to me. I would like to save all the cats and animals in the world. There is a cat colony near a shopping center about 5 of them with the mother cat, i am so tempted to take one kitten, but i dont want to remove her from their mother. I know there are people who feed them. I would love to take them all and i feel guilty that i dont because of the living situation that i am in. Its hard feeling helpless Once again my condolences for Admiral Jellybean he is at peace in heaven.

 

[zed xyzed]

Bless you for showing him love and compassion as he journeyed to the rainbow bridge

 

[zed xyzed]

for you and all the dedicated rescuers For Rescuers That Lost A Beautiful Soul On Their Watch --thank You For All You Do !!

 

[catsknowme]

My tears have flown freely for Sir Admiral Jellybean and Graceful-Lily and for the colony as well. I have had very ill ferals decide to go into the traps and I believe that they instinctively know that is the path to getting away from their miseries, one way or the other. May your efforts in helping The Admiral's colony, the Jellybeans, be especially blessed.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Admiral Jellybean, dream you deep. You now walk in more hearts than you could imagine. Your life had meaning, you are mourned, not only by the one human who took the time to try to save you, but by all who read your story. You are remembered.

 

[Graceful-Lily]

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time out to sit down and write a response. Your kindness and encouragement means everything to me. I am feeling so much better now.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Oh, my poor sweet Admiral...

I don't know how to start this. Finding the words to describe this feeling is the hardest part. My insides feel like they are out of place. I feel like I'm not 100% present in the moment. My whole body feels like it's floating. I'm trying so hard not to cry - I'm afraid to let these feelings in. I wish I wasn't sitting here now writing this.

I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you in time, Admiral Jellybean. I'm sorry you had to suffer outside on the streets for so long before you got help. I'm sorry you never got to experience love or compassion. I'm sorry everyone in this area never gave you a second thought and treated you like you weren't important. I'm sorry I never got to say good-bye. Had I known I'd never see you again, I would have let you know how much you meant to me before the veterinary technician took you away.

I wish you knew how special you were. A street cat that no one cared to love. No one else will cry for you except for me tonight. I'm not upset, I know you couldn't fight anymore and that's okay. You survived for so many years outside, year after year after year. Thank you for walking into the trap. Thank you for giving me a chance to save you. Thank you for not running away. I will always remember you - you can count on that. You don't have to suffer anymore. I'm trying to not cry as I type but I cannot express in words how it feels to know that you never got a chance to experience real love. Please understand that you were not worthless, you were not just a street cat, you meant so much more to me.

I will not let your death be in vain. I will continue to fight for every cat in your colony. I will continue to advocate for cats just like you. I will do everything I can because you have opened my eyes and showed me things I cannot turn away from.

I love you so much. I will miss seeing you walking around the neighbourhood. The Jamestown Jellybeans lost a noble and strong member. We won't be the same without you.

Farewell my good friend,
Until we meet again...

I have enjoyed your posts for a long time, Graceful-Lily .
All that matters now is you have a site, globally wide, that knows Admiral was a living creature that knew emotion, and he (and you) have that support and love. And grief. That's something a lot of them don't get.
You've done good, my friend.
Rest easy, Mr. Admiral, we will all meet once day.

 

[will2002]

A very wise man once said to me, "Son, if you come to the end of your life and you can honestly say you have had ONE true, honest, trustworthy friend then you have been truly blessed." Well, the Admiral had you. You was his ONE true, honest, trustworthy friend. Admiral Jellybean WAS a truly blessed Kitty.

 

[catsknowme]

Graceful-Lily : How are things going for the Jamestown Jellybean colony and yourself? The Admiral sounds like he was a strong fixture in their cat community so his loss probably has impacted the social structure in many ways. I recall two summers ago when I had to have my horseshoer put down my yard colony's matriarch who was slowly dying from breast cancer - the colony was horrified and for the next couple of weeks, the cats were extremely skittish and there was lots of nervous quarrels among them. I don't think that the colony ever forgets so I would explain to them over & over that their mama kitty was very sick and hurting - fortunately I am in a rural area so not much of a human audience - and I tried to do "busywork" in their area of the yard, to hopefully reassure them that I was nearby to help them feel safe.

 

[Graceful-Lily]

Graceful-Lily : How are things going for the Jamestown Jellybean colony and yourself? The Admiral sounds like he was a strong fixture in their cat community so his loss probably has impacted the social structure in many ways. I recall two summers ago when I had to have my horseshoer put down my yard colony's matriarch who was slowly dying from breast cancer - the colony was horrified and for the next couple of weeks, the cats were extremely skittish and there was lots of nervous quarrels among them. I don't think that the colony ever forgets so I would explain to them over & over that their mama kitty was very sick and hurting - fortunately I am in a rural area so not much of a human audience - and I tried to do "busywork" in their area of the yard, to hopefully reassure them that I was nearby to help them feel safe.

Now that you mention it, since he's been gone, I've noticed a lot of cats I've never seen before roaming. More specifically, toms. One young one in particular hunting in daylight, taking down young squirrels. He's going from backyard to backyard leaving his scent and marking all over the place. I guess he's establishing authority.

 

[catsknowme]

Admiral's departure has certainly left a void. We have a geriatric neutered tom named Solo whom all the other ferals follow, often rubbing alongside him - poor guy sometimes acts like they are paparazzi & swats at them but I guess they feel like they need a leader. He is very old and I wonder who will take his place. The social life of cats is very interesting to me.

 

[jefferd18]

This is lovely tribute to a wise and wonderful cat, but I must correct you on one thing, the Admiral indeed knew love because he knew you.

 

[Purr-fect]

Its ok Graceful-Lily, dont hold back the tears. You cant begin to heal until you start to let the hurt out. Let it out.

Get better, your colony needs you.