Eye Gunk

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rockitorknockit

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I am so glad you finally got a diagnosis for Oscar after so much frustration! You did right by your cat. As for gabapentin, my cat who tends to get all the unusual drug side effects (she went insane as well as very constipated on buprenorphine so she can't have it anymore sadly) does great on gabapentin. It can make the cat very wobbly, which is alarming to see, but starting with a lower dose and working up is away to deal with it. Also, as they get more used to having the gabapentin in their bodies, the wobbly walk goes away and the pain still seems to be managed. If your cat does well on buprenorphine, could you ask your vet if you even need the gabapentin?
I appreciate this insight since gabapentin is new for Oscar and he tends to always have the weird side effects (just like me, lol)!

The bupe was awful. I'm thinking it is a not ever again. We gave him his first dose of gaba this morning, .5ml. He's been more drowsy/sleepy. He did look a little wobbly when he got up but I expected it so did not panic. He has been eating and drinking, and he is resting in comfortable positions while he sleeps, which is nice to see because he does not always look comfortable. So I'm just hoping it's relieving any pain and he is feeling relaxed and okay (rather than just drugged up).

Went on a walk at the park and had yet another big cry, much to my chagrin. Doing a lot of that! Really appreciate everyone's kindness here.
 
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rockitorknockit

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I love that you KNEW what was wrong, stuck to your guns, listened to that tiny voice in your gut. Sometimes when you love a creature so deeply, these instincts kick in. It is worth it to speak up—- vets are stressed, lack time, and don’t always go the distance, even though they act like it. Your voice gives me courage to stand up to a vet, and push them to go that extra mile.
This made me smile real big, and I told my wife. Definitely would not be getting through this without her. Not sure it's so much "listening to my gut" as it is just me having insane anxiety and pushing for an answer no matter what, but.. lol.

You're right, though. Vets are stressed, overbooked, overwhelmed. I feel for them. I will say, every vet I've interacted with recently has been very nice and seemed to be trying to help, even if the visit ended up frustrating. It's usually the techs and reception staff around them that are really horrible to deal with.
 
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rockitorknockit

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Just an update, because I am miserable.

Oscar just does not seem like himself. I can't tell at all if the gabapentin is helping or not. It's definitely making him wobbly and lethargic, though. We gave it to him during the day, then not at night. Maybe that's messing him up more. Today we agreed to just keep giving it to him to see if he evens out.

He's hiding more now, since he absolutely loathes receiving the liquid medication. Or maybe cause he's miserable? Who knows.
He's not vocalizing or purring much. Just not his usual self, not responding to me the way he used to. Very unlike him. Breaking my heart.
But he's eating and drinking pretty close to his norm.
I just don't know. I'm crying a lot. Incredible anxiety. Feeling like/fearing we are near the end. My wife thinks I'm just burned out and need to accept that he's older and has changed, but it doesn't mean he has to leave soon. She could be right. She is also way more optimistic about his tooth situation than I think is realistic, but maybe I'm being really negative (and scared).
 

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Just an update, because I am miserable.

Oscar just does not seem like himself. I can't tell at all if the gabapentin is helping or not. It's definitely making him wobbly and lethargic, though. We gave it to him during the day, then not at night. Maybe that's messing him up more. Today we agreed to just keep giving it to him to see if he evens out.

He's hiding more now, since he absolutely loathes receiving the liquid medication. Or maybe cause he's miserable? Who knows.
He's not vocalizing or purring much. Just not his usual self, not responding to me the way he used to. Very unlike him. Breaking my heart.
But he's eating and drinking pretty close to his norm.
I just don't know. I'm crying a lot. Incredible anxiety. Feeling like/fearing we are near the end. My wife thinks I'm just burned out and need to accept that he's older and has changed, but it doesn't mean he has to leave soon. She could be right. She is also way more optimistic about his tooth situation than I think is realistic, but maybe I'm being really negative (and scared).
Hi rockitorknockit rockitorknockit ..I'm just piping in late, here,...to tell you that I think you are amazing and so Strong,...yet you probably don't realize it,...because you are having to go through this awful experience with your handsome Oscar. :hugs: :grouphug: :alright:

I read your other thread, about Oscar, and all that you did for him, and still are doing. :touched:
Your photos with Oscar, and Oscar with you, are simply stunning,.:).. and made me want to pause a bit, too, because I don't think it's fair,...that our beautiful cats have to go through various illnesses and diseases that may shorten their lives. :frown:

But they do, :frown:...and it's like we all want to say a big, "heck no, to the universe", ...
yet the days are still here,... and so I guess spending each day with your Oscar is so very important. :greenpaw:

I think your wife is right, about you probably being burned out,...exhausted, emotionally drained, maybe,...since how can you not be,...for taking care of a sick animal companion,...and looking after him so well. :alright:

She's also right about the 'Acceptance part'...which is like the hardest part to do. 🤔

It's not because you don't see Oscar, in front of you, and 'see his good and bad days',...it's probably more that we actually start Grieving for our animals, even before they are gone.
Or maybe the opposite,...and we are just still Hoping for more Time.

I'm not really sure why.
Perhaps its supposed to help us deal with grief better,...or maybe it's supposed to prepare us, or something.
But we are never really prepared,...and then go through the stages of grief,...over again.

And no, it does not mean that Oscar has to leave soon, either,...it's not like tomorrow, or something.
But I think your wife just wants you to be okay,...with what might eventually happen.

I think it's fantastic that your Oscar is eating and drinking close to his norm. :) :yess:
If you can see that, then you will know that he's not ready to go anywhere, just yet.

As for his hiding, Oscar is probably just feeling really lousy, or hot, cold,...and not quite as good, as his usual.
He also could just want some quiet and dark spaces, to sleep in,...where he feels more sleep is necessary, and feels his body needs more rest, too.

I did want to ask you which medications that he is still on?
And if you think the dosages are okay, or too high?
Do you think his system is 'more sensitive' to the medications?
(But then I figured, that I really didn't want to bother you with all these questions, since you're probably tired of just thinking about them, and answering things...so it's probably just best to concentrate on all the good moments with Oscar.) :greenpaw::bluepaw: :caticon:

I wish you Extra Love, Peace, and Strength...with having to deal with Oscar's illness, :hugs::grouphug: :hugs:
..and also having less of these 'terrible miserable days', or 'less miserable moments' within the days...where you're just feeling miserable.
It's good to let the Emotions, out, though, and not keep them inside,...so that when they are released...you can feel a bit better. :hugs:

Sending beautiful Oscar...Mega, mega Health Vibes, too. :vibes::vibes::caticon:
and that he continues to eat, and drink,...and find a little spark in each day. :greenpaw:
 

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Hi rockitorknockit rockitorknockit , just want to send you some support. cat nap cat nap said a lot of things that ring true because my cat has been having crises lately and it can bring a caregiver close to a breakdown, especially if they are a loving and attentive caregiver like you clearly are. If Oscar is eating and drinking well, give him and yourself some time to just be. It can be that despite our good intentions, the cat is worn out from attention and just wants some quiet. I am speaking from experience. Plus, we spend so much time looking for anything and everything that seems wrong with our cat and we drive ourselves past the limit and maybe see things that aren't actually as catastrophic as we think. Go out and have a nice meal or a good walk with someone else, talk about something other than Oscar. You need the break to come down from the stress and crying. Again, speaking from experience. Please take care of yourself so you can take care of Oscar. Sending you and Oscar hugs.
 

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Oh, one thing I forgot to mention...which might help with Oscar's tooth...is trying out this 'Oratene antiseptic oral gel' for cats.

I read about it, when on an earlier thread, on this page.
Managing Feline Stomatitis
And even though this is not what Oscar has,...perhaps some type of 'tooth gel' would help.
(As long as it does not cause him to go off of his food, or make his mouth taste different.)

But you have to take note...that it's actually confusing which one to buy...since the labels are so similar...and the ingredients are different. Some of the reviewers mentioned this.

One said that they needed the Antiseptic type oral gel...but just got the new type of oral gel...and then there was also a maintenance gel...that most said didn't do much. Ugghhh...it was all so confusing...So definitely read the ingredient lists, the reviews,...or ask the Vet.

Amazon.com : oratene antiseptic oral gel
ORATENE Enzymatic Brushless Oral Care Dog & Cat Dental Gel, 1-oz tube - Chewy.com

(One reviewer mentioned, that one of their cats had many issues where their cat could not undergo anesthesia so no dental could be performed, therefore s/he used the gel. But didn't say, which other issues their cat had.)
 
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rockitorknockit

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cat nap cat nap and W WMM201 ... I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your deeply heartfelt messages. I wanted to reply yesterday but was beyond drained when I finally had time. I'm considering printing what you both said to stick to my desk because of how helpful rereading the messages has been. Like, for real. I appreciate your empathy so much, and lots of what you both said has been very grounding for me to keep in mind. These messages, plus speaking with my wife, are my lifine at the moment. It's helping me reframe and adjust my perspective. Which I'm needing help with constantly.

Thanks for asking about how Oscar was today, too. After much hemming and hawing, my wife and I actually opted to not give him any pain medicine today to see what happened. In the morning he did his new hiding thing, but later in the day I was so excited to see him walking around and acting a bit closer to his usual cheeky self. Not wobbly and messed up and a shadow of himself. Something is definitely off that I can't quite figure out, but he seemed overall brighter and better without the gaba for significant chunks of the day. He is still eating. I'm really not convinced the gaba was doing anything helpful at this point. In fact, I'm wondering if he's mostly NOT in pain, as long as he doesn't accidentally hit his tooth. I'm planning to continue testing the no pain meds theory tomorrow because it seems to be more of what we want. I'm also terrified of him being that screwrd up on it when I have to give him another chemo dose in a few days. I'm watching him like a hawk, obviously. Always.

Then, just a couple of hours ago. He randomly vomitted after a long nap. He hasn't vomited in ages and took his Cerenia as usual earlier tonight, so very unusual. He acted hungry afterward, but only ate a little. Then he went to his new hiding place again. All strange and concerning (and, of course, undoing all of my mental efforts from today to feel more relaxed). Maybe it's the antibiotic. I just can't know.

He is an older kitty. He is a sick kitty. I need to accept this. I need to let him just be sometimes. And everything else you both said. Trying to just let it all rest so I can get to bed tonight as well.
 

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Hoping you get rest…maybe the crying can release things and let you just feel exhausted, sleepy and regenerative! I am assuming all options have been considered for removal of a tooth? I’m no dentist, but is there some local he could get, which wouldn’t knock him out or be too much for him? There are so many times when I think: “Well, what would a cat do in the wild? Do they have secret herbs that they use out there??” I do know when I‘ve seen a cat hide that can be for them both a coping mechanism and a soothing technique…dark caves can be a safe place, where you can attempt to heal quietly. Agree w/ the others that it‘s helpful to take some time for you, and it sounds as if you might be, so, good for you! Resting helps you to make sound choices & perhaps, even discover new options! :caticon: :hearthrob:
 

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rockitorknockit rockitorknockit I am glad that our messages are helping even if it's just a little bit! It is not easy to accept the fact that our kitties are entering a new phase in their lives that is just harder than it used to be, especially if it's sudden. But you have already started that process and that's really wonderful for you and for Oscar. You know Oscar better than anyone in the world and you know and will get to know even better what he needs. If he is doing great, then he is doing great. If he shows you he needs some painkiller for a few days, you have it on hand and you can give him the lowest dose possible in consultation with your vet. You are watching him closely and lovingly, and you can always give the vets a call if you see something unexpected and just ask, hey, Oscar is doing this, I have these meds on hand at home, does he need any of it or something else? If they think Oscar needs a bit more meds for a stretch, they can tell you. If Oscar should be seen, they will tell you that, too, and even then it's not necessarily a crisis. If you have the mental energy and money (because I KNOW it's been an expensive time), you might want to make an appointment or phone consult with your vet and just talk through all the stuff Oscar has been through and what you've been seeing at home with his reaction to pain meds and appetite and hiding. Just talk it out and see what a long term treatment plan is to keep your little guy comfortable and eating with that bad tooth. It really helped me to have that appointment to game out stuff for my cat, because it had only been multiple ER visits or only specialist visits for crises, and then everything single thing sounded like the end of world in isolation. But she was eating and drinking and still up for snuggles in the middle of all her problems. So my primary vet and I talked and set up priorities to keep the kitty happy and just take things one step at a time, and that has helped me and the vet (I hope) be aware that the kitty is in that new phase of older and sicker phase of life but with great days ahead and different ways to help. I know you will always do right by Oscar and your relationship with him, and Oscar 100% know that, too.
 

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cat nap cat nap ... I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your deeply heartfelt messages. I wanted to reply yesterday but was beyond drained when I finally had time. I'm considering printing what you both said to stick to my desk because of how helpful rereading the messages has been. Like, for real. I appreciate your empathy so much, and lots of what you both said has been very grounding for me to keep in mind. These messages, plus speaking with my wife, are my lifine at the moment. It's helping me reframe and adjust my perspective. Which I'm needing help with constantly.
I also find that sometimes, just venting, and needing to get my thoughts out,...or even written down, where they can be contained, on a page,...helps me...when I'm dealing with something that's bothering me, and I cannot seem to stop thinking about it.

So whenever you feel like you need to talk, or write things down, and try to get that different perspective, then just know that there is always someone here, at the cat site, who is around to listen. :bluepaw:
Even if you cannot write but a few sentences, or throw down just some emoji's...then that's good, too. :frown: :mad2: :stars: :gaah::thud:

Kind of like a semi-diary about Oscar, and your journey with him, at this time.
Whatever you feel like, to just get you to feeling a little better, in a better frame of mind is good.
Plus, of course, talking to your wife, who really sounds wise beyond her years, I'm sure, will keep you grounded.:agree: :)
You better be making her special dinners, or stuff, unless you are a terrible cook, then maybe just doing laundry and stuff, is okay. 🤔 👩‍🍳 🍜🍲🥗 🧹🧺 :blush: :lol: :wink:
Thanks for asking about how Oscar was today, too. After much hemming and hawing, my wife and I actually opted to not give him any pain medicine today to see what happened. In the morning he did his new hiding thing, but later in the day I was so excited to see him walking around and acting a bit closer to his usual cheeky self. Not wobbly and messed up and a shadow of himself. Something is definitely off that I can't quite figure out, but he seemed overall brighter and better without the gaba for significant chunks of the day. He is still eating. I'm really not convinced the gaba was doing anything helpful at this point. In fact, I'm wondering if he's mostly NOT in pain, as long as he doesn't accidentally hit his tooth. I'm planning to continue testing the no pain meds theory tomorrow because it seems to be more of what we want. I'm also terrified of him being that screwrd up on it when I have to give him another chemo dose in a few days. I'm watching him like a hawk, obviously. Always.
I had to go online, because of what you mentioned about gaba, and how it affects humans. Holy, was I shocked at all the side effects.
The reason it shocked me, was that I've only ever heard of it, on here, for cats who needed sedation for going to the vet, or traveling, or reducing some arthritic pain. I couldn't believe how it affects some humans, so badly. That med would be a definitely "Nope" for me, too, since I'm sensitive. Thanks for mentioning that.

Oscar being on prednisolone, might be helping him with any pain, or inflammation around the tooth, so yeah, you might just notice that he eats on a different side, since it might feel weird to him, and not necessarily from actual pain.
Pred is supposed to reduce inflammation, and it definitely helps with pain...(since as a kid, I was on it for some weird muscle inflammatory condition, which only pred helped).( It does cause a huge increase in appetite in humans, along with water retention, moon face, digestive issues like higher stomach acidity, constipation, and also depression, but that could have just been with me.)

Cats probably deal with it differently, but perhaps the vomiting you saw...was either from higher acid in Oscar's stomach, or like you said, the antibiotic, or gaba withdrawal.
Not sure if you can give Oscar something for his stomach, that would protect the lining...but also not interfere with absorption of meds, or nutrients.
Plus, not cause constipation, or anything.

When you mention that you see something "off with Oscar"...is it more in how he behaves,...or is it like you are seeing some 'new things'...from how his health is looking?
Then, just a couple of hours ago. He randomly vomitted after a long nap. He hasn't vomited in ages and took his Cerenia as usual earlier tonight, so very unusual. He acted hungry afterward, but only ate a little. Then he went to his new hiding place again. All strange and concerning (and, of course, undoing all of my mental efforts from today to feel more relaxed). Maybe it's the antibiotic. I just can't know.
The antibiotic could totally be a possibility, as can too much acidity,..or even perhaps the gaba being withdrawn.

Not sure, since the vomiting receptors in a cat's system are also tied with the brain and digestion.
This article kind of explains what goes on during vomiting,...but with your Oscar, it may be different because of his illness, plus all the different medications that he is on.
Anyhow, I'll just post it, here, in case someone finds it useful to read:
https://www.langfordvets.co.uk/media/1222/feline-emesis-pdf-final.pdf
(I'm more of a 'visual learner'...so it really helps me to 'see things'...and have 'pictures and diagrams and stuff')
He is an older kitty. He is a sick kitty. I need to accept this. I need to let him just be sometimes. And everything else you both said. Trying to just let it all rest so I can get to bed tonight as well.
That's so true.
And a good way to look at it.
It does not mean we ever lose Hope...and somehow ask/wish/pray for more Time...and more good days..
...but at the same time...we just become more Realistic...with what our cats are facing :hugs::grouphug::hugs:
I hope today is one of those 'good days'...overall. :hugs::grouphug::crossfingers: :bluepaw::greenpaw:
 
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PushPurrCatPaws

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W WMM201 has great advice here!

I cannot add much to the great posts here, but in regards to this-
If you have the mental energy and money (because I KNOW it's been an expensive time), you might want to make an appointment or phone consult with your vet and just talk through all the stuff Oscar has been through and what you've been seeing at home with his reaction to pain meds and appetite and hiding. Just talk it out and see what a long term treatment plan is to keep your little guy comfortable and eating with that bad tooth. It really helped me to have that appointment to game out stuff for my cat,
it's been my experience that a lot of vets integrate any emailing you do with them right into the pet's medical records, for reference and documentation. So another thing you could do, instead of, or in addition to, calling the vet for a 'human phone consultation' is to see if they are amenable to interacting in an email consult thread. They may or may not charge the same for that type of consult -- I think it would depend on the vet, and be connected to how busy the vet is (and how well they are able to manage their time).
 
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rockitorknockit

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Never a dull moment over here.

After my last message, Oscar continued to struggle to eat through yesterday and to this morning. Eating a couple of bites is all. Drinking water still. I spoke to a vet yesterday over the phone, and he told me what the lowest reasonable dose of gabapentin would be for him. Knowing that is nice. This time yesterday, I was thinking it was pain that was causing him to feel worse, since we had skipped gaba the day before.

But now I think it is the antibiotic after all. His poops are back to near liquid, and last night he left a tiny blob of poop behind after sleeping, was licking his butt a lot, and his appetite continues to be very low. I am thinking... hoping, at this point, that it's just the antibiotic. I bugged the vet again this morning. They all know me by voice now. Anyway, she said to stop the antibiotic immediately, give him fortiflora, and see if his appetite returns in a couple of days. So, I have not given him antibiotic or gaba this morning (very unsure on if I should give gaba or not, this is causing me a lot of anxiety). And I'm waiting, I guess. So much anxiety, and also frustration. He has lost the few ounces we fought two months to gain back. Incredibly concerned about him continuing to lose weight. Praying he eats more later today. Cycling endlessly in my head about whether or not to give gaba, fearing everything will mess his guts up more, fearing he's in pain, etc etc etc. VENTING!
 

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Never a dull moment over here.

After my last message, Oscar continued to struggle to eat through yesterday and to this morning. Eating a couple of bites is all. Drinking water still. I spoke to a vet yesterday over the phone, and he told me what the lowest reasonable dose of gabapentin would be for him. Knowing that is nice. This time yesterday, I was thinking it was pain that was causing him to feel worse, since we had skipped gaba the day before.

But now I think it is the antibiotic after all. His poops are back to near liquid, and last night he left a tiny blob of poop behind after sleeping, was licking his butt a lot, and his appetite continues to be very low. I am thinking... hoping, at this point, that it's just the antibiotic. I bugged the vet again this morning. They all know me by voice now. Anyway, she said to stop the antibiotic immediately, give him fortiflora, and see if his appetite returns in a couple of days. So, I have not given him antibiotic or gaba this morning (very unsure on if I should give gaba or not, this is causing me a lot of anxiety). And I'm waiting, I guess. So much anxiety, and also frustration. He has lost the few ounces we fought two months to gain back. Incredibly concerned about him continuing to lose weight. Praying he eats more later today. Cycling endlessly in my head about whether or not to give gaba, fearing everything will mess his guts up more, fearing he's in pain, etc etc etc. VENTING!
Venting is good. :angryfire: :cloudy: :hugs::grouphug::alright:

(I'm still kind of angry about a few posts ago, where you took Oscar to the ER vet, and she totally missed the loose tooth.
You and Margot Lane, are way, way more forgiving, and calmer, nicer, than myself. Actually, I AM a kind and understanding person, but if I'm paying a professional vet, who is supposed to have training, experience, and vet knowledge,...and then misses something very obvious to another vet,...it kind of makes me wonder if that ER vet got her diploma...through a 'cracker jack box'. (old reference to finding a little packet prize, inside a caramel candy box.) sorry, now I am venting. ugghhh. :hmmm: :doh: (not useful to you, at all. yikes.)

God, I wish I could help you with these decisions,...but I just don't have the experience with the gabapentin, or lymphoma protocols.

Don't feel bad, about 'calling and bugging the vets'...that is not 'bugging'...but rather just 'realistically concerned over Oscar, and having to make entirely sure, that Oscar's new symptoms'...are not being caused by side-effects,...plus getting the right information...to dealing with his present symptoms, too.
Advocating for your Oscar,...and following through,... just makes you an amazing cat guardian.

If you could do the questions through Email, it might be easier for you, as PushPurrCatPaws, mentioned.
But when you need immediate answers, then phoning is good.

This thread may offer some other 'tips' when trying to get a cat to eat:
Any Good Tips To Get Your Cats To Eat? Share Them Here!
 
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Here's a video, that I like from Fundamentally Feline.

It's for medicating, but you might be able to incorporate...some of her techniques...to help supplement Oscar to eat a bit...by using the syringe method.
If you can puree any of his favourite foods, into a 'pate style'...or slurry,...and then offer it to him, every few hours, or four hours, whatever you think is best,...then that may encourage him to get up, and go and eat on his own.

I think her...'parfait syringe method'...looks good,...where you mix a bit of A/D food,...with some other food, that he likes, and might get him to eat a bit more.

The 'hills critical care A/D food' is the one often recommended, since most cats will eat it.
It's nutrient rich, for sick cats.


She pretty much my favorite 'go to person' of all time, for 'how to videos with cats'.
Honestly, I think she is the best for explaining things in detailed ways.
She has so many helpful videos, that I cannot say which one is the best.

https://www.fundamentallyfeline.com/how-to-videos/
 

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Never a dull moment over here.

After my last message, Oscar continued to struggle to eat through yesterday and to this morning. Eating a couple of bites is all. Drinking water still. I spoke to a vet yesterday over the phone, and he told me what the lowest reasonable dose of gabapentin would be for him. Knowing that is nice. This time yesterday, I was thinking it was pain that was causing him to feel worse, since we had skipped gaba the day before.

But now I think it is the antibiotic after all. His poops are back to near liquid, and last night he left a tiny blob of poop behind after sleeping, was licking his butt a lot, and his appetite continues to be very low. I am thinking... hoping, at this point, that it's just the antibiotic. I bugged the vet again this morning. They all know me by voice now. Anyway, she said to stop the antibiotic immediately, give him fortiflora, and see if his appetite returns in a couple of days. So, I have not given him antibiotic or gaba this morning (very unsure on if I should give gaba or not, this is causing me a lot of anxiety). And I'm waiting, I guess. So much anxiety, and also frustration. He has lost the few ounces we fought two months to gain back. Incredibly concerned about him continuing to lose weight. Praying he eats more later today. Cycling endlessly in my head about whether or not to give gaba, fearing everything will mess his guts up more, fearing he's in pain, etc etc etc. VENTING!
That's great that you called the vet and started Fortiflora. My cat is on it now for the same reason and she finds the smell of it really tasty and enticing so maybe that will attract Oscar to eat a little. I would personally give the gabapentin at the lowest dose the vet told you. Pain will stop him from eating period, so unless you take away the pain, none of the other problems can really be solved. You stop the antibiotic and give Fortiflora, and that way you eliminate one factor from his system at a time. That will help you figure out what it is that is causing the trouble. If Oscar eats with the gabapentin, then you know it's pain and you can keep giving the lowest dose to keep him comfy enough to eat without getting too sedated. I know you had a bad experience from gabapentin personally, but maybe Oscar really does need some to eat. Sending you both good healing vibes!
 
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  • #37

rockitorknockit

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Thank y'all, again, SO MUCH. For your genuine empathy and support. I am impressed with your ability to provide opinions and suggestions while still holding space for me and my worries and emotions. I LOVE THIS PLACE, and y'all are amazing. My wife is also grateful for you. Thank you for not judging me. Thanks for letting me get it out here, and for ALSO trying to help. You are.

I can't recall if I've mentioned this before, but I have OCD. I just feel like I should mention that at this point, since it explains at least some of how extreme this is for me. It's why I am constantly cycling and spiraling, though all of this is stressful for anyone. It's exacerbated. So, I'm working on ways to manage that as well. I had therapy today.

Thanks to y'all's responses today, I remembered I had three cans of the a/d stored for an emergency situation. I had never given it to Oscar before, but I had gotten some because someone else on this forum mentioned it was good when a cat would not eat anything else and I knew those times would come around sometimes. I cracked one open today, and... OMG! Oscar LOVES IT. It's the only thing he'd lick clean off the plate without hesitating. I mixed a little bit into his regular wet food to get him to eat some of the stuff I know is good for his belly, too. Otherwise, he's still struggling with appetite. Today he would not touch his dry food at all. I only got him to eat some wet good with a/d and fortiflora. Not enough, but not nothing. I could give him a whole can of a/d but I am nervous to because of how sensitive his whole system is. That's the tricky part here. I have to make him eat, but he's only wanting to eat things that aren't necessarily good for his guts. Its a negative feedback loop. Really need his appetite to come back, so his guts have a chance to get more of the good food. He did a big liquid poop again tonight. Asking my wife to remind me that he won't bounce back within 24 hours... give it time...

I also DID end up giving him the low dose gaba, thanks to y'all's posts again. I decided you were right, I should do so just in case pain is happening. If he still can't eat or poop right in several days, maybe we dial that back as well.

Tonight I also realized he is supposed to get his next chemo dose tomorrow. Now I am not sure if I should do that or call the vet yet again. Maybe I should decide in the morning.

So, not much change to report tonight, but feeling like good decisions were made today. Really wanted to make this post to thank you again.
 

WMM201

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That's awesome that Oscar ate the a/d and loved it! Some food is way better than no food! It can take antibiotics a few days to clear his system totally, so you are completely right to tell your wife to remind you that it's gonna take more than 24 hrs for Oscar's tummy to get back to normal and for his poop to get back to normal. I think my vet said to give the fortiflora like a week to really do its work rebalancing my cat's gut, but I know I hate to see her not totally right in the meantime. Just takes patience, right? Easy to say, but unbelievably hard to practice when we just want to see our kitties do better. So great that you are working with your therapist and I hope you got some good work done in this super stressful time!

About the chemo dose, you can call your vet in the morning to ask about that so you feel guided by an expert opinion, not like bearing the weight of the whole decision on yourself. Believe me, my vet's office knows my phone number on their caller ID! It could take a couple hours to get a response if they're busy, but it's okay to wait that couple of hours to know you are doing the right treatment plan. You can also ask your vet if it's okay to just give Oscar the whole can of a/d for a couple days if that's what he wants to eat, until he gets back his appetite and eating groove. Go Oscar!
 
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rockitorknockit

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Hey, everyone. It's been a few days since my last update, so just wanted to share another.

On Thursday I ended up calling the doctor and they agreed we should hold off on the chemo for now, since he was still feeling crappy and not eating well enough.

Since stopping the antibiotics seemed to be improving Oscar's poops but not his appetite, I went ahead and stopped the gaba as well. Not only could I not tell if it was helping him in any way, but he hates receiving it far beyond any other med I've had to force in him. In fact, I have not been able to give him his usual B12 shot because he's now shrinking away whenever my wife or I try to grab him from behind at all.

But overall, he's doing better, now acting much more like his usual self. Appetite is improving since the gaba was stopped, poops are slowly improving since the antibiotics were stopped (at least closer to his normal pre-antibiotic). If his tooth is bothering him, I cannot tell at all. He's eating both soft and hard food, and has not been chattering at all. It's almost frustrating - it's like the whole ordeal was completely pointless. Tons of money and grief spent for nothing. I'm starting to wonder if the reason they could not see a reabsorption lesion was not because it's hidden but because there isn't one - maybe he just knocked that tooth really hard but it's actually fine? I have no idea, but I am currently very relieved and pleased that he seems unbothered by it.

The best part is he's been purring again. A lot. When he eats, when he gets love. Stopping the extra meds and maybe even skipping the chemo have really helped him swing up a bit, I think.

I'm going to weigh him maybe tomorrow to see where he is at. I'll also be reaching out to the vet today to see what she says about the chemo, and when/if we should take the next dose.

Thank you to everyone who was responsive/present for me while this was very dark and stressful. I am hoping we've reached an even level again for a bit.
 
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