Extremely Needy Stray. Wits' End. What can I do?

chaucer

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This beautiful stray cat in the photos is wreaking havoc by his neediness and possessiveness. He showed up last week. Apollo is quite large and very friendly. Sounds great; however, he is running off my carport kitties and the other cat I have fed, vetted, and cared for. The latter has eye issues and comes occasionally, but as it is getting colder is arriving every morning - very early. I now get up about 3:30 to feed him. The new cat has clearly been abandoned or dumped and wants a home. I have posted him on a local lost and found, but no responses. I am looking for someone locally to adopt him. I am begging my friends because I don't want just anyone taking him. I would love to keep him, but this clinging to me has gotten to the point that I'm frustrated which has never happened to me with a visiting cat before. I plan to get him to the vet as soon as I can for a microchip check, neutering and shots, but in the meantime, I'm frustrated with this behavior and I feel guilty for feeling this way.

I have to wear riding boots outside and walk carefully because he is always underfoot. I have to take a broom so I can move him out of the way. I feel I will have to move my car to the driveway and go in and out the front door. (Of course, he has already been to my front door as he follows me).I don't know how to handle this cat, and I'm experienced with cats. This morning, Apollo blocked the door with his large body when I tried to go back inside. I could not get up the steps to even reach it. I was rescued when the two carport kitties starting eating the leftovers on this cat's enormous plate of food and he ran over to see about that. Feeding him from the start was a mistake, I suppose, but I never turn away a cat in need and leave food out. This is changing my mind about that, sadly.

I'm sure some of you have run into this situation before. What did you do about it? I like this cat and he would make someone a wonderful pet, but I cannot keep him. I have three indoor-only cats who would not appreciate this, particularly the one who is also a clingy cat, plus I have a slightly nervous, aggressive one as well. Our no-kill shelters are full and there is a waiting list.
 

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di and bob

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He is desperate and does not realize that you are not totally accepting him. He was obviously abandoned and needs a home as soon as possible. Get on Facebook, post a picture of him and tell his story and how he is so desperate and needs someone he can cling to. He is SO thankful to have you feed him and give him some attention he is becoming a nuisance. I have posted about lost strays and people a couple of days later offer to take them. Please try to feel some sympathy for him. You are doing what you can to find him a place, you might offer to leave some money at a local vet to pay for his neutering, it may help. DO NOT just offer money. I have seen people take the money and dump the cat a short distance away. Or take him in now, it would save your other cats from his aggressiveness in trying to run them off and would most likely calm him down. My heart goes out to him, you will be blessed for trying to help him.....
 
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chaucer

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di and bob di and bob , thanks for the response. Sadly, I have done all you mentioned and no one can take him. I do feel sympathy for Apollo and I would love to have him because he is so, so loving, but this is getting out of hand and being unable to get in my door was the final straw. He's not so much aggressive now to the other cats as he is used to them at this point, but he makes them nervous. This morning, I sent a message to one of our full no-kill shelters which has fosters - I am in a small town and there are two in the area - and pretty much begged them to take him with a donation to provide the neutering, shots, and worming. I've worked with them before. I would be glad to leave the money with one of our local vets - their choice of which one. If they can't help, I won't give him to just anyone. I will have to get him to the vet though. I can't afford to do all of this but I have a friend who has offered to pay for the vet bill.
 
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chaucer

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Thanks. I'm trying. The cat in my profile picture was and still is a clingy cat - also a neighborhood rescue as have been two others inside cats - but he is not quite as large as Apollo and he never blocked the door so I couldn't go inside. Apollo doesn't try to come in the house, at least not yet! I'm grateful he wasn't skin-and-bones when he arrived. He was fed. A neighbor said she had seen him and fed him when he was hanging around her house a while back. She TNRs and couldn't get him. I think I could get him in a crate - he's food-motivated - but right now I'm unable to get him to the vet.
 
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chaucer

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One of the shelters came through for me - I think it was his photos that did it because he is a gorgeous cat in person. I'm footing the bill (friend will reimburse). Hoping a volunteer from the rescue will come and pick him up as he is heavy and the crate is heavy, but the vet is the one I use and it's just down the street. I am so relieved because I wanted him to have a good home if I couldn't keep him. Thank you for the input.
 
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chaucer

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Me too! It will probably be Monday before they can get him, but he will be okay here until then.
 
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chaucer

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UPDATE - Well, they could not get to him at my vet until Dec. 23rd which was much too late, given this cat's need for attention, determination to take this territory, and his neediness. I used to be able to get in quickly for neutering and shots, so it was a surprise that I was told to call other vets in town to see if they could do it sooner. It's going to be November 29th at another place that the rescue set up and that is okay. The rescue doesn't have a foster for him though which means he has to stay here. This is unfortunate since the cat is outside and may stray. He is also making my carport kitties nervous. He fought with the poor one in not-so-great health this morning. It's gone beyond the growling stage. I have two geriatrics out there, too, who have been driven from their warm bed because Apollo walks along the edge of the heavy wooden box lined with blankets and straw (it's set up higher as well), but he jumps from a table to it. He does not get in the box, however. The wooden box is a packing crate from the twenties and is deep with thick sides. It's not at all easy to move. So, I really need this cat to go to the rescue for his own sake, that of the others, and me. He's so loving and I want the best for him, but I also have to think of the three out there I've been caring for over several years, and my three indoor cats.
 

Flybynight

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Hold out a bit longer. Once he is neutered he will slowly become calmer as the hormones dissipate and he will be less territorial. If I understood correctly he is on a waiting list for a rescue spot?

So many people don't spay and neuter then dump kittens or male cats once they start to spray or the urine smell is stronger. All can be avoided by sterilizing. Poor fellow.
 
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chaucer

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Yes, he is on the waiting list for an area rescue. In the meantime, he has to stay outside and I have to hope he sticks around and will go in the crate on the day he's supposed to go to the vet. I'm starting crate-feeding tomorrow, hoping he will go in it that day and feel comfortable.
 
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chaucer

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Well, I'm having second thoughts about the rescue taking him.. Apollo has settled down and is the most loving cat. He's too needy, of course, and I can't walk without him flopping down and rolling on my feet or rubbing against my legs or walking in front of me, but he doesn't try to come in the house. He is, however, sleeping in the lower shelter (it's raised off the concrete) and comes when called. Something is telling me not to send him with the rescue. I guess I'm attached but I think he has to be lost as he does not act like a regular stray. He's too friendly with other humans. After the vet, if there is no microchip, I'd prefer a friend adopt him rather than hand him over to a rescue.
 
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