Ethics of rehoming a pet?

[callmecatherine]

I’m struggling. My senior cat died in December and my adult cat (BB) who was fine with him is not fine with the kitten (percy) I adopted. Its been about three weeks.

I’m unwilling to give the kitten back, but I feel okay with the idea of finding a new home for BB. (I really want it to be someone that I know and trust. But that may not even be possible.)

How do I decide whether it’s okay? She’s only ever known me as an owner. How can I possibly give her away? isnt it bad that Im even considering it?

I used to believe in forever homes but now I’m looking at an untenable situation.

Well at the same time I feel like if I put more effort into making them friends maybe I could?

But then again no I cant. I cant make the kitten stop literally dive bombing onto the older one and running after her.

Ugh but maybe I should just separate them until he grows out of it? Then they could get along…

 

[tiggerwillow]

It sounds to me like the older cat was there first. An older cat (one that is not a kitten) will have a much harder time of it finding a new home, whereas a kitten who goes into rescue, kittens get adopted quickly. I used to volunteer in cat rescue so I know how hard it is for adult cats and senior cats to find a new home.

If you have to rehome one of them, the kitten would be the easiest one to find a new home for.

Having said that, can you (and anyone you live with) play a lot with the kitten, to wear the kitten out a bit, before putting the kitten in the same room as BB?

How old is BB? If she's a younger adult, things can work out, but if she's getting on in age, that's the equivalent of handing an 80-90 year old human a 6 month old baby and saying "here you go look after this for the rest of your life"

This has the echoes of one case from the rescue I remember, where a 14 year old black cat (Susie) got handed into the rescue by the vet cause the owners wanted her put to sleep for not wanting to be forced into living with a kitten, she wanted a peaceful retirement, and those owners were too selfish to consider her needs edit: that "too selfish" was the impression we got from the vet "WE want a new kitten, Susie has told us "I want a peaceful retirement" so that meansSusie deservesto die for notwanting a young kitten around her"

I'm not saying your about to tell a vet to euthanase BB, its good that you are considering what's best for both of them, but BB has given you a lot of love (however long you have had her), and like I have said, a kitten is a LOT easier to find a new home for, than an adult or elderly cat

What I doknow is Susie took aaaaaaaaaaages to get a new home, she was in the rescue for almost a year before one of the volunteers ended up giving her a home, cause by that point she didn't have long left and nobody wanted her to die in a cage

Is Percy still a young kitten (under 6 months)?

 

[Twylasmom]

Introductions take a lot of time and patience. I would recommend looking up tips and techniques and go slow. It seems really unfair to the older cat to rehome it and remove the security of her home and family. And as mentioned above it is much more difficult to rehome an older cat.

My cat was 12 when I added a 4 month old feral kitten to the household. It took several months before they could fully cohabitate peacefully. They eventually became good friends.

 

[rubysmama]

Three weeks is not very long at all when it comes to introducing cats. So there's absolutely hope that things can work out between your resident cat and the new kitten.

If you haven't seen it yet, here's the TCS article on How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat [A Guide] - TheCatSite

There's also lots of threads on the topic:
Search Results for Query: new kitten older cat

 

[iPappy]

My now 10 year old cat was introduced with separate areas when she was a tiny baby. My older cat, now 6, was not happy at all. Some cats like kittens and others don't. Slowly they had supervised time together. The older cat hissed at her, slapped at her and pretty much let the new little kitten know she had better show some respect. They have been fine together for 10 years.
3 weeks is not much time at all. I wouldn't jump to rehoming anyone just yet.

 

[Kflowers]

Without the older cat for the kitten to "dive bomb' this kitten will be diving onto you. Your skin is tighter than the cat's, you will bleed long before you persuade the kitten that biting and clawing are not playing. That's what she's doing playing. If she doesn't have a cat to play with, she'll play with you. she will claw an bite because kitten games are all about the game is attack and learning survival skills. Check some threads about teaching the kittens not to claw and bite, re-consider the introduction process. There are a lot of threads on that.

 

[silent meowlook]

Why would you want to get rid of the aff do ult cat?

 

[tiggerwillow]

Why would you want to get rid of the aff do ult cat?

I think it should be last in, first out

Sounded to me like the kitten's the newcomer, plus the fact kittens are a lot easier to find new homes for, kitten should be the one to get rehomed (if rehoming turns out to be the only option)

it never sits right with me, when someone wants to rehome an adult cat instead of a new kitten, reminds me of Susie

 

[callmecatherine]

Okay. Thanks everyone. I feel better now about three weeks not being that long. I can accept that its too soon to give up I’ve just been feeling very overwhelmed. It’s just me trying to manage the both of them no one else lives with us.

 

[iPappy]

Okay. Thanks everyone. I feel better now about three weeks not being that long. I can accept that its too soon to give up I’ve just been feeling very overwhelmed. It’s just me trying to manage the both of them no one else lives with us.

A new little one can really create a whirlwind and upset the balance of peace in the house, but I promise you it doesn't last forever.
Are you separating the cat and kitten unless you're there to supervise and redirect the kitten and provide time outs? Does the adult cat have places to go that are "kitten free" to catch a break?
I brought a tiny puppy home last month. My 10 year old cat is just now starting to "like" him, and it's been over 6 weeks. She doesn't attack him or anything but she has not been a fan of him and has recently been giving him friendly looks when he approaches and allowing him to annoy her...a little. Keeping the baby away from the adults is very helpful for helping them all adjust. It's kind of like having a toddler in the house. They're cute, they're sweet, they're fun, but they are busy and can be exhausting and it's relieving when they have their space with their things that they can play in a safe area so we adults can catch a break!

 

[Alldara]

I believe that it is 100% completely unethical to rehome an older pet that has spent its whole life with you for a new, younger pet.

Honestly breaks my heart for pets it happens to. It would be like if your parents had another child and then just put you up for adoption.

There are many studies that show that pets bond to their human caregivers using the same areas and parts of the brain as human children.


That being said 3 weeks of introduction time is nothing at all. Do a proper introduction process. Have some patience and compassion for your older cat. A new kitten won't replace your late cat in your cat's mind. It's been 1 year and 4 months and Cal still looks for Nobel and they were only together for a year.

 

[VinceL]

I think you need to give the cat and kitten more time. In my opinion, if you could handle it, it would have been better to adopt 2 bonded kittens. They would have had each other to attack and probably would have left BB alone.

Over the years we have adopted many young cats into our home which already had multiple cats. Every case was different. Fortunately, my wife and I are retired and have time to manage cat introductions. We pretty muchly followed the standard introduction process of keeping the new cat isolated and then doing scent exchanges via toys/blankets. We then allowed closely supervised visits. There was always of bit of hissing. But, over time (big variation...as I recall in some cases only a couple of weeks and in others as much as 1-2 months) they were able to share our home with no problems.

For our 4 new kittens (2 from 1 litter and 2 from another) since they are so young (8-10 weeks), I decided to throw caution to the wind. We put the 4 of them into a bedroom/bathroom. At first one pair would open their mouths and make a slight hiss when the other 2 would approach them. By the 4th day, they all played together, chasing each other, and wrestling like WWE wrestlers. They eat side-by-side. When they sleep, they still cuddle as 2 separate pairs...I am curious to see if that changes over time.

 

[iPappy]

C callmecatherine please keep us updated on how things are going!

 

[tiggerwillow]

I believe that it is 100% completely unethical to rehome an older pet that has spent its whole life with you for a new, younger pet.

Honestly breaks my heart for pets it happens to. It would be like if your parents had another child and then just put you up for adoption.

There are many studies that show that pets bond to their human caregivers using the same areas and parts of the brain as human children.


That being said 3 weeks of introduction time is nothing at all. Do a proper introduction process. Have some patience and compassion for your older cat. A new kitten won't replace your late cat in your cat's mind. It's been 1 year and 4 months and Cal still looks for Nobel and they were only together for a year.

The difference between giving a adult cat up for adoption and parents giving a kid up for adoption, is the kid doesn't get killed for not getting adopted fast enough.

 

[Sarah M]

Okay. Thanks everyone. I feel better now about three weeks not being that long. I can accept that its too soon to give up I’ve just been feeling very overwhelmed. It’s just me trying to manage the both of them no one else lives with us.

Hello, I hope you don’t rehome your older cat. They only know you as their safe place. Others have provided their perspectives and I will have to agree with them.

But I just wanted to add that 3 weeks is nothing. I have three residents and one new cat that I've been in the process of introducing. They are all extreme personalities and there have been a few instances where my older cats attacked the kitten. But I live in a place where shelters are not common, so rehoming the new kitten was not an option.

It has taken me about 9 or so months now since I started the introduction process. And only now its come to a point where the kitten is not super scared of the cats and the cats are not that aggressive towards the kitten. I'm still a long way from complete integration but I keep the little one in an enclosure I set up. It's getting better daily. (I don't mean to discourage you, just saying that 3 weeks is nothing, it takes months).

I know it gets overwhelming, but the situation you described does not sound extreme. I'm also alone and doing it by myself, with of course the help from these amazing TCS people. So it's achievable

So, I really do hope you can work something out and do the intro and not rehome your older cat.