- Joined
- Mar 14, 2021
- Messages
- 15
- Purraise
- 5
This is a very difficult and emotional thing for me to write, so bear with me if I ramble a bit!
Yesterday, I adopted a sweet and handsome one year old orange manx from an adoption event. He is affectionate, constantly purring, gets along with everyone, and is content to just lay with you or in your lap for an hour straight. His disposition is wonderful, he is good with the litter box (other than clearly needing a covered one since he flings the litter a little when burying), and he's curious without being destructive. He has so many traits I absolutely love and want to nurture in a kitty. His only problem behavior seems to be that his kneading on our carpet turns into scratching sometimes, but hopefully a post with carpet or sisal will remedy that.
So what's the catch? Where's the issue? Why doubt anything? ...I don't know.
A few hours after bringing him home and settling in with him, I just... started crying. I was anxious and depressed, worrying that I made the wrong choice -- and I have fair enough reasons to think that's possible. My childhood kitty of 18 years passed in 2016, and I finally feel ready to welcome a new little companion into my life. I am ready and willing to care for a young cat, even a kitten, and my roommate and my girlfriend both have kitties I've taken care of and/or lived with for years, so I know it's not an "oh god, maybe I don't know what I've gotten myself into" situation. My childhood cat was feral and bonded only with me in all of her years, so a little training not to scratch the carpet is a cakewalk.
I feel awful for feeling this way, for having this doubt, because he obviously likes and is quickly growing to love me, and he took to this home like it was nothing. But I didn't feel the spark, the tug, the look, the knowing that I've felt when picking out (or, more accurately, being picked by) any of the cats I've chosen for myself and my family over my lifetime. I didn't think I'd pick a cat out of a small selection in cages at a pet store adoption event. I didn't even look at other shelters or kitties or pet stores. I also didn't expect picking a boy cat, but that's a very superficial thing considering his demeanor is fantastic and boy kitties can be just as wonderful as girls.
My roommate adores him and fell in love with him right away, and even though my girlfriend fell in love with another one of the kitties there, I can't help but wonder if it was my roommate's vibes that I was choosing based on rather than my own. I would feel awful returning such a sweet boy who has no real issues, many traits I do like or even love, and seems to love me and recognize already that I'm his new mom. Everyone I know has already seen him and knows I adopted him, so it would also be very embarrassing to have to return him and tell people. My roommate is considering adopting him from me if I decide he's not The One, which I'd be perfectly happy with, but I'd still kind of feel bad for confusing this little guy. I keep crying because I hate feeling this way and hate the thought of doing that to this handsome boy.
Is this maybe the "adoption regret" I've read about on here and on Google and I'll get through it and love this little guy to bits for the next 15-20 years? Or did I maybe make the wrong decision being caught up in the moment? I know that only time will tell and that the shelter says I have a week with him to decide if he's the right fit, but I'm so nervous and would love some advice if anyone has any.
Thank you in advance!
Yesterday, I adopted a sweet and handsome one year old orange manx from an adoption event. He is affectionate, constantly purring, gets along with everyone, and is content to just lay with you or in your lap for an hour straight. His disposition is wonderful, he is good with the litter box (other than clearly needing a covered one since he flings the litter a little when burying), and he's curious without being destructive. He has so many traits I absolutely love and want to nurture in a kitty. His only problem behavior seems to be that his kneading on our carpet turns into scratching sometimes, but hopefully a post with carpet or sisal will remedy that.
So what's the catch? Where's the issue? Why doubt anything? ...I don't know.
A few hours after bringing him home and settling in with him, I just... started crying. I was anxious and depressed, worrying that I made the wrong choice -- and I have fair enough reasons to think that's possible. My childhood kitty of 18 years passed in 2016, and I finally feel ready to welcome a new little companion into my life. I am ready and willing to care for a young cat, even a kitten, and my roommate and my girlfriend both have kitties I've taken care of and/or lived with for years, so I know it's not an "oh god, maybe I don't know what I've gotten myself into" situation. My childhood cat was feral and bonded only with me in all of her years, so a little training not to scratch the carpet is a cakewalk.
I feel awful for feeling this way, for having this doubt, because he obviously likes and is quickly growing to love me, and he took to this home like it was nothing. But I didn't feel the spark, the tug, the look, the knowing that I've felt when picking out (or, more accurately, being picked by) any of the cats I've chosen for myself and my family over my lifetime. I didn't think I'd pick a cat out of a small selection in cages at a pet store adoption event. I didn't even look at other shelters or kitties or pet stores. I also didn't expect picking a boy cat, but that's a very superficial thing considering his demeanor is fantastic and boy kitties can be just as wonderful as girls.
My roommate adores him and fell in love with him right away, and even though my girlfriend fell in love with another one of the kitties there, I can't help but wonder if it was my roommate's vibes that I was choosing based on rather than my own. I would feel awful returning such a sweet boy who has no real issues, many traits I do like or even love, and seems to love me and recognize already that I'm his new mom. Everyone I know has already seen him and knows I adopted him, so it would also be very embarrassing to have to return him and tell people. My roommate is considering adopting him from me if I decide he's not The One, which I'd be perfectly happy with, but I'd still kind of feel bad for confusing this little guy. I keep crying because I hate feeling this way and hate the thought of doing that to this handsome boy.
Is this maybe the "adoption regret" I've read about on here and on Google and I'll get through it and love this little guy to bits for the next 15-20 years? Or did I maybe make the wrong decision being caught up in the moment? I know that only time will tell and that the shelter says I have a week with him to decide if he's the right fit, but I'm so nervous and would love some advice if anyone has any.
Thank you in advance!