Does She Just Not Like Me?

rubysmama

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Look who joined me in bed this morning!
That's wonderful. :clap2: Give her time, and she may come to like cuddles and petting more. But remember all cats are different.

My Ruby is a lap cat, and will sleep in bed with me, but she hates being restrained in any way. Petting her is fine, but if I so much as wrap my arms around her, she squeezes through them and scurries away. And picking her up to snuggle is totally out of the question. :rolleyes2:
 

CatCrazy777

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Congratulations, I'm so glad the two of you are already making progress! Here's to many more steps in the same direction! :beerchug:
 
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huxleysmom

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We are making progress. I had not realized how worried and anxious of a cat she really is. She follows everyone of my movements when I am around. As if she’s worried I could pounce on her at anytime. I am taking it slow and continue to respect her boundaries. She is rubbing herself more on my legs and well, just decided that my lap is not such a bad place after all! She appears to be one of these cats that does not like to be petted when she’s on your lap though. It’s ok though. Maybe one day that’ll change.

I’m also sharing some pictures of her after she decided that if she couldn’t get pizza, then neither could I! The next picture is her desperately trying to steal my slice of pizza. This girl ❤ human food. Unfortunately, she has digestion issues. so I cannot indulge her, especially with fatty food. How stinking cute is she though?!:happycat:
 

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Jasonasaur

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My girlfriend has a Sophie that likes everyone but me, when I visit her (Sophie's) house. I asked what am I doing different, realised she is used to quiet people. She expects you to accompany her to the food dish to pet her while she eats. And after a while, it dawned on me... She just doesn't like me, as much. I don't like a guy at work, much, cause he calls people bud far too often. He has no chance of making me like him. But if he was my meal ticket, I'd follow him around to make sure he's doing his duties.
 

Tagrendy

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Do you use perfume / makeup / body makeup. Cats dont like those scents at all. Could also explain the preference for Male sitter. Not to be disgusting but I was sick for a few days and was in bed all sweaty, yet the cat didn't get repelled by that almost at all, but whenever I get ready and have all the chemicals on me he stays away.
 

Jeffsmith

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Patience is key!

keep showing love and affection - unconditional and in time your Cat will love you to bits!

It's all according to them, but in time she'll start cuddling with you and all

My Cat was very anti-social but as time went by he looks for every opportunity to sleep on my lap lol

I would check out this book - Cat Language Bible Review - (Who Else Wants To Be a Better Cat Parent?)

All the best!
 
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huxleysmom

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Guess who slept on/by my legs last night! This never happened before. When she used to sleep on the bed, it was in her own bed, not on me! We are making progress. She is still very distant during the day though she has come on my lap a couple of times. Baby steps
 

Etarre

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So glad that you're making progress, and Sophie is adorable! Juniper was slow to warm up to cuddles and petting, also because she's very skittish and any sudden movement, distracting noise, etc. would scare her away. But she clearly craved love and attention. She just needed time to build up the trust to allow her to accept them. We got her in mid-December, and it took until July 4 for her to sit in my lap for longer than 30 seconds. But lately, especially with the cold weather, she's become a real snuggly lap cat, sleeps on my feet in bed, and the whole nine yards. This winter, I got out a couch blanket that she likes to snuggle in, which really encouraged her with the lap-sitting.....
 
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huxleysmom

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Little update on Sophie: I am continuing the "I'm ignoring you" approach and it seems to be what works best for Sophie. She is now regularly sleeping on the bed with me (she sticks to my legs or feet though). She's also coming more regularly to me (mainly to rub against my legs and ask for chin scratches). She does however, continue to mainly keep herself to herself and spends most of her time on my bed while I am in the living room. Unless I'm eating! Then she's all over me staying on my lap being all loving and trying to get some of it. She LOVES me for my food!! I feel used! lol
Sophie does now allow me to join her on the bed and watch Netflix on my computer. Before she would get off the bed and walk away, but now she'll relax and fall asleep on or close to my legs.
I am trying to get her used to me walking around in the apt and getting close to her while never actually touching her. I'm trying to show her that me moving around doesn't mean I'm "coming for her" in the hope that she can relax a bit and stop feeling like she has to always be following my every move when I am around. It's working somewhat but we have a long way to go before she gets fully relaxed around me.
I am also working on the biting by simply walking away the second she reaches for my hand or I see her getting ready to do it. I feel this is what will require the most consistency but again, we're slowly progressing. She's getting gentler with it, and stops the behavior more quickly. She's also managed to lick my feet or hands a few times without ending with biting me (which she always did before). It's not much, but it's a start I guess.
Mainly I have been working on myself. I so want an affectionate cat so ignoring her is hard work but my constantly seeking her affection was clearly creating a lot of anxiety for her. I am not sure she will ever be the cat I wish I had, or if she'll ever be a loving lap cat, but I am learning to accept her for what she is and hope that I can at least provide her with a loving home where she isn't constantly stressed out.
The biggest victory so far is I think I have FINALLY found a litter box that is high enough that she doesn't manage to kick half of the litter out when she buries her poop. The girl is a digger! You'd think she's trying to dig all the way to Australia by the way she goes at it!!!!

All in all, we're taking very small baby steps, but we are slowly getting there.
 
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rubysmama

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I'm glad things are progressing well. And do remember, cats are generally independent animals, so it's not unusual for them to spend the afternoon sleeping somewhere that their human isn't. Right now, in fact, my Ruby is asleep on my bed. In a couple hours, however, I'm sure she'll be tracking me down to let me know it's meal time. :catman:
 
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huxleysmom

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Yes, they are. I guess Huxley just got me used to something that was very special and rather rare for a cat! Another step this afternoon though. As I joined Sophie on the bed for a cheeky nap this afternoon, she eventually crawled up to my waist level and slept all stretched out by my side, with her paws touching my arms. « Love is patient, love is kind ».
I'm glad things are progressing well. And do remember, cats are generally independent animals, so it's not unusual for them to spend the afternoon sleeping somewhere that their human isn't. Right now, in fact, my Ruby is asleep on my bed. In a couple hours, however, I'm sure she'll be tracking me down to let me know it's meal time. :catman:
 
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