Do Cats Change Their Level Of Affection?

[Softmeows]

I have adopted my lovely cat almost 2 months ago and I have started noticing a difference in her affection/obedience levels. When we got her she was extremely affectionate, barely took any time to adjust to a new home and new family, and was very obedient when called (even used to come to me when I patted on my chest). Recently I have noticed she comes only 50% of the time, but otherwise just sits there and looks at you when you call. She also does not come to cuddle when I tap on my chest like before Nothing has changed, so maybe I am doing something wrong? Makes me feel that her other owner might have been more loving/cuddly so she was more affectionate, and now she is less so?

 

[susanm9006]

As far as obedience, most cats have little of it. They are coming to you when you call because they are happy to see you, expect a treat or want some cuddling. What you want isn’t on the list. And cats do go through streaks where they want more or less cuddling. But since she is so new to you, I would continue to pet and cuddle her only on her initiation. If she feels you are pushing her too much she may back off. I would just let things evolve, give her lots of play time and just enjoy her company.

 

[kittyluv387]

She might have been extra clingy at first because of the big change. And now you’re seeing her true personality. Or she could just be getting used to things. It could be both too. Is she an adult? It can take adult cats up to a whole year to get 100% comfortable from my experience. You’re not doing anything wrong. Just keep paying her attention and continue to get to know her at her own pace.

 

[Furballsmom]

so maybe I am doing something wrong?

I agree, you aren't doing anything wrong. You're seeing a normal change, that might come back around, or not

 

[amethyst]

How old is she? If she is still young, under a couple years, she could just be maturing into her adult self. Kittens are needy, but they do often grow out of it. Also as said she could have just been extra cuddly because she was thankful to be in a home with loving people but now she knows she is staying. In terms of obedience, it's a cat not a dog, cats only do things if they want to, see a point, and they get something out of it. Pleasing humans is generally not on a cat's agenda like it is for a dog.

I know with one my my cats affection levels can change a lot based on things happening in life and age. She ate something she shouldn't have and had to go in for surgery to remove it, and was spayed at the same time since they already had her open. It was Saturday so she had to stay in the vet's office until Monday when they opened. She was never really a cuddly cat, but when she came home she was so so clingy and cuddly for a couple weeks while she recovered, even to my husband who she doesn't really like. Once she was feeling better and realized we didn't abandon her and she wasn't going to die she went back to her aloof self. After a year or so (I honestly can't remember how long) when she got a bit older she actually became cuddly with me again, but only when she decides.

 

[Softmeows]

How old is she? If she is still young, under a couple years, she could just be maturing into her adult self. Kittens are needy, but they do often grow out of it. Also as said she could have just been extra cuddly because she was thankful to be in a home with loving people but now she knows she is staying. In terms of obedience, it's a cat not a dog, cats only do things if they want to, see a point, and they get something out of it. Pleasing humans is generally not on a cat's agenda like it is for a dog.

I know with one my my cats affection levels can change a lot based on things happening in life and age. She ate something she shouldn't have and had to go in for surgery to remove it, and was spayed at the same time since they already had her open. It was Saturday so she had to stay in the vet's office until Monday when they opened. She was never really a cuddly cat, but when she came home she was so so clingy and cuddly for a couple weeks while she recovered, even to my husband who she doesn't really like. Once she was feeling better and realized we didn't abandon her and she wasn't going to die she went back to her aloof self. After a year or so (I honestly can't remember how long) when she got a bit older she actually became cuddly with me again, but only when she decides.

Thank you and I just wanted to clarify that I know cats are not really obedient! The only reason I asked was because she started the trend when she would come when called, be super cuddly, affectionate at all times (unlike most cats), so I figured she was like that. She also used to come greet us when we arrive at the door, but now she waits by the door and as soon as we are in she walks away a little and does not come to us when called until we come to her. Totally different but not for every cat, just for her specifically. Maybe I am over cuddling her in general and previously she was starved for it, and not had enough?

 

[Softmeows]

How old is she? If she is still young, under a couple years, she could just be maturing into her adult self. Kittens are needy, but they do often grow out of it. Also as said she could have just been extra cuddly because she was thankful to be in a home with loving people but now she knows she is staying. In terms of obedience, it's a cat not a dog, cats only do things if they want to, see a point, and they get something out of it. Pleasing humans is generally not on a cat's agenda like it is for a dog.

I know with one my my cats affection levels can change a lot based on things happening in life and age. She ate something she shouldn't have and had to go in for surgery to remove it, and was spayed at the same time since they already had her open. It was Saturday so she had to stay in the vet's office until Monday when they opened. She was never really a cuddly cat, but when she came home she was so so clingy and cuddly for a couple weeks while she recovered, even to my husband who she doesn't really like. Once she was feeling better and realized we didn't abandon her and she wasn't going to die she went back to her aloof self. After a year or so (I honestly can't remember how long) when she got a bit older she actually became cuddly with me again, but only when she decides.

She is 1.5 years old, I would say she is not a kitten character wise.

 

[Furballsmom]

1.5 years - she could still be maturing, but on another thought, do you play with her?

 

[Softmeows]

1.5 years - she could still be maturing, but on another thought, do you play with her?

yep, quite a bit every day. To me it seems she just feels a little spoiled now

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[ArchyCat]

I suspect all happy cats are spoiled!

 

[Maria Bayote]

Well, that is the beauty and mystery of cats. They just keep us guessing and wondering. This is how they differ from our dog companions.

Cats come to you when they need a cuddle or a treat or something. Cats come to you when they feel like it. They are the kings and queens of the household.

My Bourbon, as an example, was not really that affectionate to me when I first took her in. She was aloof and grumpy. Now she is still aloof and grumpy to my husband, but not to me. She chose me! (Although at most times she is still grumpy.)

You are doing fine.

 

[ailish]

Ailish is 3 1/2 and I rescued her when she was 1. When she finally came out from behind the furniture she was very hot and cold. One minute it was "Pet me, I can't live without you." with that look they give you like you're god, and next it was, "Do I know you?" This was for about a year. After that I rarely got the "Who ARE you?" look and she continues to seem more attached. In spurts, of course, but I never get the cold shoulder anymore unless I do something she REALLY doesn't like. Like trick her. She HATES it when I use food to lure her into, say, the cat carrier to go to the vet.

 

[Kal_shadowsmom]

Shadow had the same attitude when I first adopted her. She was very affectionate, then acted like I didn't exist. She goes through phases, and I think that's normal and ok. I love her to bits and always want her near me, but sometimes she needs her own me time.
Right now she's in a lovey phase, so she plants herself on my lap as soon as I get home.
I find there can be a reason behind the way they act. For close to 2 weeks my cat would sit exclusively in the hallway by the kitchen, because of her standing sentry in that spot she caught and killed a mouse near there. After that she doesn't sit there much.

Some time ago, my cat was totally ignoring me and spending all her time with my dad,found out later, his health wasn't doing so good, so I think that's why she was spending time with him, to comfort him.

I gave up trying to understand why she does certain things, eventually it comes to light.

 

[Furballsmom]

One minute it was "Pet me, I can't live without you." with that look they give you like you're god, and next it was, "Do I know you?"

LOL, so true

 

[Etarre]

Juniper goes through phases where she's standoffish and phases where she's super cuddly. Last week I was home with a cold and nasty cough and she avoided me because I was making funny noises and not a good lap to sit on. This week, now that I'm back to work, she's feeling lonely and craving attention.

I also think that when you first adopt cats, they go nuts for things that they were missing in their shelter/foster home/whatever. During Juniper's first week with us, she spent most of her time hiding and was clearly very intimidated by her new home. Food and cuddles weren't tempting enough to get her out of the closet, but as soon as I got the cat dancer out, she spent a good hour chasing it until she was so exhausted that she wound up panting in a heap on the floor. Clearly, she was not getting any playtime at the animal shelter, and she is an energetic and playful little cat. Now that she gets scheduled playtime every day, she will take it or leave it, depending on whether she hears something interesting outside the window. Maybe your cat had been craving affection and cuddling, but now feels more secure about getting it 'on demand'?

 

[Softmeows]

Juniper goes through phases where she's standoffish and phases where she's super cuddly. Last week I was home with a cold and nasty cough and she avoided me because I was making funny noises and not a good lap to sit on. This week, now that I'm back to work, she's feeling lonely and craving attention.

I also think that when you first adopt cats, they go nuts for things that they were missing in their shelter/foster home/whatever. During Juniper's first week with us, she spent most of her time hiding and was clearly very intimidated by her new home. Food and cuddles weren't tempting enough to get her out of the closet, but as soon as I got the cat dancer out, she spent a good hour chasing it until she was so exhausted that she wound up panting in a heap on the floor. Clearly, she was not getting any playtime at the animal shelter, and she is an energetic and playful little cat. Now that she gets scheduled playtime every day, she will take it or leave it, depending on whether she hears something interesting outside the window. Maybe your cat had been craving affection and cuddling, but now feels more secure about getting it 'on demand'?

Thank you for sharing about your cat Juniper! It is hard to guess what my cat is used to, it seemed that the previous owner described her as clingy and affectionate, and it looked like the cat had quite a bit of cuddles before. I think maybe she had an adaptation reaction first, where she felt she had to be affectionate as a protective measure, not sure. She might be missing her old owner with whom she has been since kitten age, and she also had a cat friend there. We give her tons of love and cuddles, and while she is much more affectionate than most cats I have known, she is definitely not the same as during the first week or two. I am curious to see how it goes in the future, we love her regardless.

 

[danteshuman]

Also cats cuddle more when it is cold! You might try keeping a small container of treats in your purse, come home, show her the treats, pet her then give her a couple of treats. Turn your coming home to treat time.

Also for a couple of months, if she comes when you call her name she gets a treat or gets to play.

My cats have all been well trained to expect at least 15 minutes of lap time if they get in my lap (at least 90% of the time.) They get 30 minutes if I'm watching TV under a blanket. Historically it created 2 lap cats and 3?lap loving kittens, so success! Plus with my punk and the kittens if they bring me a hair band or an extra collar or rabbit fur poof ball then we will play fetch.

Just give her space and love her on her own time ..... though some extra treats never hurt

 

[Softmeows]

Also cats cuddle more when it is cold! You might try keeping a small container of treats in your purse, come home, show her the treats, pet her then give her a couple of treats. Turn your coming home to treat time.

Also for a couple of months, if she comes when you call her name she gets a treat or gets to play.

My cats have all been well trained to expect at least 15 minutes of lap time if they get in my lap (at least 90% of the time.) They get 30 minutes if I'm watching TV under a blanket. Historically it created 2 lap cats and 3?lap loving kittens, so success! Plus with my punk and the kittens if they bring me a hair band or an extra collar or rabbit fur poof ball then we will play fetch.

Just give her space and love her on her own time ..... though some extra treats never hurt

Thank you, I will try this! She has some tummy issues so cannot give treats as per vet's instructions, but I will see what else can be done

 

[Furballsmom]

Would your vet be ok with chicken hearts?
Happy Valentine's Day!