Disappearing Cat

[pixie's mum]

My beloved husband died in 2018 and my beautiful loving cat kept me company for another 16 months until she too died of a tumour. I was devastated and decided to get another rescue cat to keep me company.I think she was feral as her behaviour has been so challenging that I'm seriously thinking of putting her up for rehoming. Far from being the cuddly lapcat I wanted to love she never sits on my lap or consents to being petted for more than a minute. She bolts out the door first thing in the morning leaving breakfast untouched until midday then eats some biscuits and disappears again, so far today for another 8 hours and still not returned. This happens every day and I am so upset and anxious that I don't think I can keep her any longer. She is approx.2 years old. Has anyone any suggestions?

 

[ArtNJ]

Even cats that are really bonded to their owners can prefer the outdoors when its warm and wildlife is abundant. If you want to bond with the cat, you need time with the cat. So you would pretty much have to convert her to indoor only, or possibly wait for winter.

TBH, rescuing a random adult shelter cat without knowing the history was probably not the right call for you, as they can be a real project, and it sounds like you don't want that. Now if you are willing to undertake a bit of a project? Convert her to indoor only, and we can give you some tips to help you bond with the cat. Conversion can bring some stress for, in my experience, 2-3 weeks. Typically, after that, the cat will adjust and stop whining to go out, but you have to be prepared for those 2-3 weeks to be tough.

If you do want to give the cat back, do it now, while there is still a shortage of pets due to Covid-19 adoptions. A kitten would be more in line with your expectations I think.

 

[molly92]

Agreed. You can socialize a cat to be more receptive to humans, but it usually requires confining them in a small space and doing a lot of patient work with them. That's not for everyone, and it's understandable if you're not interested in doing that.

Pretty much every cat should be kept indoors if at all possible, regardless of where you live. Cats are very bad for the environment and the outdoors is very unsafe for a cat.

 

[pixie's mum]

Even cats that are really bonded to their owners can prefer the outdoors when its warm and wildlife is abundant. If you want to bond with the cat, you need time with the cat. So you would pretty much have to convert her to indoor only, or possibly wait for winter.

TBH, rescuing a random adult shelter cat without knowing the history was probably not the right call for you, as they can be a real project, and it sounds like you don't want that. Now if you are willing to undertake a bit of a project? Convert her to indoor only, and we can give you some tips to help you bond with the cat. Conversion can bring some stress for, in my experience, 2-3 weeks. Typically, after that, the cat will adjust and stop whining to go out, but you have to be prepared for those 2-3 weeks to be tough.

If you do want to give the cat back, do it now, while there is still a shortage of pets due to Covid-19 adoptions. A kitten would be more in line with your expectations I think.

 

[pixie's mum]

Unfortunately the SPCA staff did not tell me she was feral, only that they hadn't got a history for her and I kept her in the house for over 2 weeks as it was. They told me they thought she was 2-3 years old but once I got her home I realised from her behaviour that she was more like 18 months old and she was desperate to get outside, finally slipping past me when I went outside and the door hadn't caught on the lock as I thought. I have a large garden but she only stays in the garden when I am there and otherwise goes off to explore the area (I guess) unless someone else is feeding her.

 

[Willowy]

A kitten would be more in line with your expectations I think.

I disagree with this, as kittens are a big question mark, and a kitten may grow up to be just as standoffish as this kitty! The best bet would be an older cat with a known history of being a cuddly lapcat.

I don't know what the homeless cat situation is where you are, but in the US, pets who are returned to a kill shelter generally do not survive :/. Maybe you could tolerate her independent nature AND adopt a cuddly lapcat? I don't know if that's an option for you but that's probably what I would do.

 

[pixie's mum]

I disagree with this, as kittens are a big question mark, and a kitten may grow up to be just as standoffish as this kitty! The best bet would be an older cat with a known history of being a cuddly lapcat.

I don't know what the homeless cat situation is where you are, but in the US, pets who are returned to a kill shelter generally do not survive :/. Maybe you could tolerate her independent nature AND adopt a cuddly lapcat? I don't know if that's an option for you but that's probably what I would do.

I think I agree with you Willowy although shelters here don't kill animals. I did wonder about getting another cat - as long as they liked each other!

 

[pixie's mum]

I think I agree with you Willowy although shelters here don't kill animals. I did wonder about getting another cat - as long as they liked each other!

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't know what the homeless cat situation is where you are, but in the US, pets who are returned to a kill shelter generally do not survive

With people home from Covid, many wanted a pet to keep them company, and most shelters were emptied, and in some places, pets are just not available to adopt. Obviously, depends where you are, but where I am, for example, at this particular moment, my understanding is that it is still very easy to rehome an adult cat. Won't last, but for now its a nice option of last resort.

 

[abyeb]

I agree that she should be kept inside. Indoors are safer for kitties, and it will be easier for you to socialize her too. Check out some of this article: The Five Golden Rules To Bringing An Outdoor Cat Inside

The above article also links to some additional articles about entertaining indoor cats, which, in addition to helping curb boredom, will help you two to bond.

Here is a helpful article about preventing door-darting: How To Prevent Your Cat From Darting Out The Door